The John Poelstra Show

A previous client asks for help navigating their own burn out while dealing with a demanding boss. Here’s my advice on managing stress, dealing with demanding bosses, and finding sustainable ways to recharge. I look at the importance of questioning assumptions, setting boundaries, and experimenting with new approaches to reclaim control over one’s work-life balance. Considerations You can’t keep pumping air into the metaphorical balloon; it will eventually pop Does constant pressure need to be “managed?” Stop comparing your limits to others; everyone has different constraints Saying no is a powerful tool for reducing stress and workload Team agreements can clarify communication norms and reduce ambiguity Test small changes like turning off your phone for short periods to gauge the impact Meditation isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution; explore other recharging methods Write down all of the assumptions you have about your situation and question their validity Experiment with scenarios that challenge your fears (e.g., being unavailable and seeing what happens) Ask yourself what your current situation is doing to your body, soul, and relationships Consider whether your job aligns with what you want in life long-term Challenge the belief that you must always be available or risk losing your job Agreements are better than expectations—collaborate with others on clear terms Test turning off Slack or disabling presence indicators to reduce pressure Sustainable productivity requires intentional boundaries, not cheat codes Physical symptoms of stress often signal deeper issues; don’t ignore them If nothing changes in your current situation, consider the long-term consequences on your health and happiness Reach out for help or coaching if you’re stuck—there’s always something new to try Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 133: How to Handle a Demanding Boss Without Burning Out appeared first on John Poelstra.

Sarah Johnson is a library science educator and social worker. She joins me to explain the evolving role of public libraries in modern society. Sarah highlights how libraries have transformed from quiet book repositories into vibrant community hubs addressing diverse needs, from providing Wi-Fi and e-resources to offering social services like legal aid, health information, and even showers for unhoused individuals. Sarah explains that libraries are often the last free public spaces where people can gather without needing to spend money, making them essential yet increasingly complex environments. Sarah also shares her unique career path from social work and massage therapy to academic librarianship, emphasizing how her passion for learning and community service shaped her journey. She discusses the concept of “library social work,” which integrates social work principles into library operations to address challenges like homelessness, mental health crises, and safety concerns in public libraries. Through examples like San Francisco’s pioneering library social worker program, she illustrates how libraries can partner with community organizations to better serve patrons while supporting overburdened staff. Highlights Libraries have evolved into community hubs providing far more than books Public libraries often serve as the last free public spaces accessible to everyone Many librarians lack formal training in handling social issues like homelessness or mental health crises Academic librarians typically require advanced degrees, unlike many public library staff Public libraries provide critical resources like Wi-Fi, job search tools, and legal aid E-book usage has surged, keeping libraries relevant in the digital age Serendipitous browsing—discovering books by walking the stacks—is a unique joy that digital catalogs struggle to replicate Libraries play vital roles during crises, such as providing resources during natural disasters or pandemics Social workers in libraries help connect patrons with external services rather than solving systemic issues alone San Francisco was the first U.S. city to hire a full-time library social worker in 2009 Library staff often experience burnout due to increasing demands and insufficient training Trauma-informed care and de-escalation strategies are becoming essential skills for librarians Children’s librarians emphasize physical books over e-books for developmental benefits Libraries often partner with local organizations to offer tailored programs based on community needs COVID-19 exacerbated challenges in public libraries, increasing chaos in some urban branches Libraries are increasingly vibrant but face safety concerns due to their open-door policies Modern libraries cater to diverse populations through multilingual resources and inclusive programming Book banning controversies highlight the ongoing cultural significance of libraries Peer navigator programs offer an alternative model for addressing patron needs without relying solely on social workers Many communities invest heavily in renovating library facilities, reflecting their continued relevance Academic librarianship allows professionals to combine teaching, research, and direct student engagement Libraries must balance being welcoming spaces with ensuring safety for all patrons Advocacy for library funding and leadership is crucial for maintaining thriving public spaces Librarians Face a Crisis of Violence and Abuse (NY Times) Follow More of Sarah Johnson’s Work Substack Author of Creating a Person-Centered Library: Best Practices for Supporting High-Needs Patrons The Library Social Work Podcast Instagram LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 132: Not Your Mother’s Library with Sarah Johnson appeared first on John Poelstra.

Tammi Scott joins me to discusses career coaching. Tammi explains that she and her business partner, Elisa, are launching Empowered Careers Group, LLC, which offers a comprehensive career coaching program. We explore various aspects of career coaching, including its definition, approach, and benefits. Tammi emphasizes that career coaching is not about providing a “crystal ball’ solution,” but rather a process of self-discovery and strategic planning. This conversation also touches on the role of AI in career coaching, the importance of networking, and the typical duration of coaching engagements. Tammi highlights the value of having a coach for accountability, support, and guidance through the ups and downs of career transitions. We also discuss the differences between career coaching and other forms of guidance, such as personal training or consulting. Tammi shares insights on resume writing, negotiation strategies, and the benefits of having a career coach. Our conversation challenges the common misconception that career coaches should provide immediate answers or specific job recommendations. Instead, Tammi describes career coaching as a facilitated journey of self-discovery, where clients explore their ideal work environment, values, and professional aspirations. While coaches can provide specific guidance on resumes and salary negotiations, the core work involves helping clients understand themselves better to make informed career decisions. Key Points Career coaching is not about getting quick answers but facilitating self-discovery Most effective career coaching engagements last 3-6 months Career coaches don’t provide magic solutions or guaranteed career paths The process involves creating a clear picture of your ideal work day Resume writing receives more direct guidance than other coaching areas AI tools can complement but not replace career coaching Career coaching involves accountability and consistent support Coaches help surface limiting beliefs and handle rejection Career coaching combines internal reflection with practical action steps Career coaches help clients understand their values and preferences The best career management is ongoing, not reactive Contact Tammi Scott TammiScott.com LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 131: Career Coaching Isn’t a Crystal Ball with Tammi Scott appeared first on John Poelstra.

Katherine Krupka shares her unconventional journey from the Russian Embassy to energy healing. She’s an energy healer, interfaith minister, coach and Executive Director of the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Our conversation reveals Katherine’s fascinating background, including her adventures working at the embassy in Moscow during the fall of the Berlin Wall, her involvement in privatization efforts with the World Bank and consulting projects with oligarchs in Russia. Katherine shares how her rock bottom moments led her to exploration of raw food, naturopathy, yoga, and meditation. She provides insights into how how healing works and how she helps clients. As a life-long learner, she’s presently focused on a deep study of human consciousness. Learn More About Katherine Krupka Website LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 130: Katherine Krupka’s Path from Diplomacy to Healing appeared first on John Poelstra.

Mark Rumbles reflects on his career of 40 years, what he’s learned in the leadership development space and what’s next for him. Mark recently retired after 40 years in HR and leadership development. Mark and I discuss his career journey, the concept of retirement, and insights gained from his extensive experience developing leaders. This conversation touches on various topics, including mentorship, career planning, motivation, and the challenges of leadership development. Mark shares his perspective on career transitions, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, relationship-building, and maintaining a flexible approach to one’s career path. He also discusses his current interests post-retirement, including exploring podcasting and working towards fostering more civil discourse in society. Throughout the conversation, Mark offers his insights on leadership, personal growth, and navigating career challenges. Key Takeaways Careers are more like arcs than rigid plans, requiring flexibility and adaptability Effective mentorship often develops organically through relationship-building Leadership development is about influencing factors that bring out internal motivation Follow the fear, energy, and incentives to understand and overcome challenges Retirement doesn’t mean stopping; it’s a transition to new opportunities and discoveries Relationship-building is crucial for career success and personal growth Curiosity is a key driver for personal and professional development The term “networking” can feel manipulative; focus on genuine relationship-building instead Leadership development is a fusion of various approaches and frameworks Behavior is a language that often speaks louder than words Self-reflection is crucial for aligning one’s words and actions Fear often stems from a desire to preserve one’s identity or self-image Motivation is complex and can’t be directly controlled by others Balance is essential in leadership, knowing when to debate and when to act Civil discourse and the ability to disagree respectfully are valuable skills Career transitions can involve multiple steps (e.g., full-time to part-time to retirement) Volunteering (e.g., joining a condo board) can be a way to stay engaged post-retirement The concept of “career” is often misunderstood and over-emphasized HR practices have shaped how people think about careers, sometimes unrealistically Podcasting can be an alternative to writing a book for sharing ideas and experiences Leadership development aims to bring out the best in people and help them bring out the best in others Understanding one’s “wiring” and sources of joy is crucial for career satisfaction Early career experiences, even if unenjoyable, can provide valuable foundations The balance between debating ideas and executing decisions is crucial in organizations Connect with Mark Rumbles LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 129: Fusing 40 Years of HR, Leadership Development and Life Lessons with Mark Rumbles appeared first on John Poelstra.

Doug Hunter and I discuss artificial intelligence (AI), including how it works, its impact on various aspects of life and work and how to get started with it. Doug provides an overview of AI, distinguishing between classical AI and the more recent generative AI. Doug also explains how AI works on probabilities and patterns, and discusses its current capabilities and limitations. Our conversation covers the potential applications of AI in fields such as marketing, customer service, education, and coaching. Doug emphasizes the importance of understanding and adapting to AI technologies, while also highlighting some of the risks and ethical concerns. He suggests practical ways for individuals and businesses to start using AI tools and advises on how to approach AI integration strategically. Key Takeaways AI is changing lives in ways many don’t realize; those who don’t adapt risk being left behind Generative AI has democratized access to AI capabilities for the general public AI operates on probabilities and patterns, not true understanding or knowledge There are potential risks with AI, including hallucinations and copyright infringement AI can significantly enhance productivity in various fields, including marketing and customer service The nature of many jobs, including coaching, may change due to AI integration AI tutors could revolutionize education by providing personalized, 24/7 learning assistance Humans should remain “in the loop” when using AI, treating it like a smart intern rather than an infallible authority AI’s impact on jobs will be significant, but historical technological advances suggest adaptation is possible Learning to write effective prompts for AI will be a crucial skill in the future AI can help make educational outcomes more equitable by providing resources to underserved areas The concept of artificial general intelligence (AGI) and its potential implications are still theoretical AI models are rapidly improving, with multimodal capabilities becoming more common There are ongoing discussions about potential rights for AI systems AI can be used as a tool to overcome barriers to effectiveness in various professions Using AI effectively could allow professionals to take on more clients or work more efficiently AI’s ability to find patterns in complex data sets can lead to insights humans might miss The ethical implications of AI, including privacy concerns, are significant and ongoing AI may not be able to replicate human creativity and intuition fully Job postings in the future may require fluency in AI tools AI can be used for creative tasks, such as generating bedtime stories or unique images Understanding the limitations of AI is as important as knowing its capabilities AI could potentially replace some front-line customer service jobs while making remaining roles more complex Experimentation with AI tools is crucial for understanding their potential and limitations AI’s impact may be more profound and widespread than previous technological revolutions AI Resources Mentioned Perplexity (AI search tool) ChatGPT Google Gemini Claude (Anthropic’s model) DALL-E (image generation) Midjourney (image generation) Sora (video generation) Whisper and Claude for content repurposing (Christopher Penn) More About Doug Hunter LinkedIn PeakPointSolutions.pro   Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 128: Demystifying AI with Doug Hunter appeared first on John Poelstra.

Tammi Scott shares her unique approach to finding new job opportunities by emailing people she knows. Tammi and I were a money coaches together at Capital One. Tammi shares insights from her extensive coaching background, including her experience at Nordstrom selling shoes. She emphasizes the critical role of building and maintaining professional relationships during a job search. One of Tammi’s key strategies is sending regular email updates to her network, sharing her progress, goals, and offering mutual support. This approach not only keeps her connections informed but also fosters ongoing engagement. We also explore the importance of aligning personal values with career decisions and the benefits of combining traditional online job applications with proactive networking efforts. Key Insights Combining online applications with networking efforts improves job search results Understanding personal values helps in finding suitable job opportunities Career coaching can provide valuable insights and strategies for job seekers Regular practice and continuous learning are essential in careers and personal interests Offering mutual support in networking efforts creates goodwill Tracking networking efforts and job applications is important Previous work experiences, even in different fields, can provide transferable skills Providing an easy opt-out option in networking emails shows respect for recipients Balancing online job applications with in-person networking yields better results Curiosity and willingness to learn can lead to unexpected opportunities Sharing specific job interests and companies in networking emails facilitates connections Regular updates to your network keep you top-of-mind for opportunities Contact Tammi Scott TammiScott.com LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 127: Improve Your Job Search with Email: Tammi Scott appeared first on John Poelstra.

Nick Accordino shares the emotional rollercoaster of being laid-off, searching for a new job, and landing a new fulfilling role. Key Takeaways Take conscious breaks from the job search process to recharge when needed. Look for opportunities aligned with your authentic values and passions. Focus your search locally to increase human connections. Craft targeted, personalized applications rather than generic submissions. Seek out volunteer experiences to reengage with your community. Be open to unconventional or surprising paths. Know when to pivot strategies if your current approach isn’t working. Job searching takes an intense emotional and mental toll. Not getting feedback from potential employers is demoralizing. Expect ups and downs – the process is a rollercoaster. Set a sustainable daily routine, likely only a few focused hours. Generic job boards yield a lot of noise and unhelpful opportunities. Losing your job can feel quietly disorienting at first. Take time to recenter on your identity outside work. Know your limits and don’t overcommit energy to any one opportunity. Even short breaks from routine tasks can provide perspective. Tap your local professional network for insights on roles. Look for transferable skills you can highlight for new paths. Combine personal interests with professional strengths. Small companies offer chances to wear multiple hats. Hands-on volunteering provides an engaging change of pace. Share your story and be open to others’ for mutual support. Get out of the house regularly to avoid isolation. Finding joy and flow in simple, repetitive work. Embrace serendipity when exploring options. Mentioned Bee Downtown website Bee Downtown Instagram Volunteer Match Other Title Possibilities Claude2 helped me with the title for this post. Here are the runner-ups which I thought were equally funny and creative. Stinging Insights: Nick Accordino on Life After Being Laid Off The Buzz on Bouncing Back: Nick Accordino’s Winding Path from Corporate to Bee Maven From Red Hat to Beehive: Nick Accordino’s Unexpected Career Pollination Corporate Refugee Finds Sweet Success with Bees: Nick Accordino’s Unlikely Pivot A New Honey Pot: Nick Accordino Rebuilds After a Layoff, One Bee at a Time The Birds, The Bees, and a Layoff: An Unconventional Metamorphosis for Nick Accordino Laid Off and Stung, But Not Down: Nick Accordino’s Apian Rebound From Pink Slip to Honey Dipper: How Nick Accordino Cultivated a Sweet New Career Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 126: Out of the Job Hive, Into the Beehive: Nick Accordino’s Layoff to Apiary Tale appeared first on John Poelstra.

Stephen Warley joins me to explore why your job search and networking strategies aren’t working and what to do instead. Top Takeaways Stop relying solely on online job applications and start talking to real-live people! Create and maintain a list of your existing contacts and reach out to them with curiosity and honesty. Understand your desired lifestyle costs and calculate the income needed to sustain it–don’t chase an arbitrary salary number. Learn to articulate and demonstrate your value proposition to potential employers/clients. Be open to unconventional paths like consulting, freelancing, or non-traditional roles. Continuously invest in improving your skills and curating a portfolio of your work. Market and promote yourself proactively, don’t just wait for opportunities. Identify companies/organizations aligned with your values and interests. Explore volunteering or gifting services to showcase your abilities. Ask for additional connections/introductions in every conversation. Adopt an entrepreneurial, empowered approach to managing your career. Form a job search community for support, perspectives, and accountability. Don’t undervalue your worth, but remain realistic about market rates. Follow up consistently–a lack of response doesn’t mean you should stop pursuing. Get out of your head and take action–even in small steps. Challenge assumptions about what’s possible or conventional. Align your work with your personal values and find the right fit. Consider interim/temporary roles as potential paths to something more permanent. Embrace lifelong learning as industries and roles evolve. Focus on continuous self-improvement, not just securing any job. More About Stephen Warley Stephen Warley has been a serial solopreneur for the past 25 years. He’s the founder of LifeSkillsThatMatter.com. He’s a career and business coach on a mission to help you create work that works for you in alignment with your values, needs and abilities. He believes work is fundamentally changing as you know it and we’re all going to have to manage ourselves whether you work for yourself or someone else. Learn how to start making your work, work for you at www.lifeskillsthatmatter.com/about Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 125: Avoiding Networking and Job Search Futility with Stephen Warley appeared first on John Poelstra.

Seth Vore joins me again to recap the final leg of his family’s 6,000 mile boat journey. We also revisit the original question that turned this dream into reality. Learn More about Seth Vore and His Family Previous conversations with Seth: 121: Captain Seth Progress Report (June 2023) 112: Checking in with Captain Seth Vore (June 2022) 110: Boats and FIRE with Seth Vore (December 2021) The Great Loop is a 6,000 mile, year-long boating trip Seth and his family are on ‘Loopers’ Say the Great Loop Is Their Appalachian Trail onFIREfamily – Website onFIREfamily – YouTube Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 124: Seth Vore–Wouldn’t It Be Crazy If… appeared first on John Poelstra.

Greg Sterling joins me to share his experiences navigating a layoff and finding a job in the current market. Conversation Summary Losing a job is never easy, even when the economy seems strong. Greg Sterling was was part of a layoff at Red Hat after 13 years with the company. He spent the last 7 months searching for a new position. We talked in November 2023 to get his insights on the current job market and advice for others trying to find new work. Key Takeaways Job searching can be very discouraging with extremely low response rate Companies can receive an overwhelming 500-1000 applicants for a single role in minutes The current job market is very tight with companies being extremely selective Networking continuously is crucial, though even close contacts may not respond Self-care through exercise or other outlets helps manage the emotional toll Finding local opportunities rather than remote roles yields better results Asking for feedback after rejections can provide useful insights to improve Regularly tweaking your resume to polish message and fit is important Recruiters tend to only work with those they can easily place in a role Set limits on job search time to avoid burnout The post 123: Searching for a Job in Today’s Market with Greg Sterling appeared first on John Poelstra.

Michael Marvosh joins me to share his experiences and perspective on the Landmark Forum. I’ve heard a variety of things about it over the years and I was curious to get Michael’s take on it. Conversation Highlights Taking responsibility rather than blaming external factors Staying present in relationships “Choosing” (open) vs, “Deciding” (limiting) Letting go of judgment traps–“right vs wrong” and “good vs bad” Learning to be more unconditionally present Exploring “integrity” – Michael aims for authenticity Tightening up the wishy-washy areas Michael realized how he wasn’t showing up fully in key relationships The paradox between the past and future self-improvement Landmark courses are very affordable–Michael has taken several and is planning to take more Credits Original photo source: Michael Marvosh The post 122: Learning About the Landmark Forum with Michael Marvosh appeared first on John Poelstra.

We’re checking in again with Seth Vore and his family. So far they’ve completed 5,000 miles of their 6,000 mile journey. Last time we talked it was June of 2022, and they had just bought their boat. Learn More about Seth Vore and His Family Previous conversations with Seth: 112: Checking in with Captain Seth Vore (June 2022) 110: Boats and FIRE with Seth Vore (December 2021) The Great Loop is a 6,000 mile, year-long boating trip Seth and his family are on ‘Loopers’ Say the Great Loop Is Their Appalachian Trail onFIREfamily – Website onFIREfamily – YouTube Credits Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 121: Captain Seth Progress Report appeared first on John Poelstra.

Sometimes we’re afraid to slow down because we’re afraid we’ll fail. What if the opposite is true? Highlights Brad Solomon’s post on LinkedIn about slowing down inspired today’s thoughts What if you can’t slow down too much? The important distinction between slowing down and stopping Slowing down to speed up What would be possible for you if you slowed down, but didn’t stop? Straight-Line Leadership: Tools for Living with Velocity and Power in Turbulent Times by Dusan Djukich Stop Stopping vs. Stopping: Chapter 6 Maybe there isn’t a “right path” or “right track”–sometimes we waste more time trying to figure that out than actually getting somewhere Maybe you don’t need to know all the steps to start or keep going, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop Giving your “time and attention” to the things you are committed to Micro vs. macro commitments Where have you “stopped” in your life? What’s the smallest way you can start? “What haven’t you tried yet?” Credits Original photo source   The post 120: Slowing Down Isn’t Stopping appeared first on John Poelstra.

Have you ever learned something you already knew? That happened recently with what’s written on my About page. I was surprised to find many of them relate to the theme of commitment I’ve been sharing on recently. Credits Original photo source The post 119: Here’s What I Know and Believe appeared first on John Poelstra.

The other day I was overwhelmed with all the things I needed to. This is how I got organized and less overwhelmed. Highlights Getting email and Trello under control Where are the places you store things that need to get done? Trello Post-it Notes Email Slack 3×5 Cards Notebook Offline email client–Thunderbird Used in conjunction with GMail and other email providers All of my email is stored locally where it can’t be hacked or lost Recomendo (my favorite newsletter of all) Getting to Inbox Zero at least once during a given day Sharpies & 3×5 cards are an easy way to capture and organize all the things overwhelming you Easy to move around Don’t stick to surface Collapsable into a single pile so you don’t have to see all the cards (and get overwhelmed) Trello Columns Today This Week Next Week Backlog Set due dates and alerts for specific cards (generates email) Overall triage process Go through all the email in Thunderbird and get the main Inbox to zero Move to folder Delete Forward tasks to Trello via email Book mark related webpage/information via Pinboard Organize and move cards in Trello Move all the cards (not in Backlog) to “Next Week” column (as often as you need to) Triage from there Look for patterns in the cards/tasks if there’s another Projects vs. tasks How to do this process with 3×5 cards Credits Original photo source The post 118: How I Get Organized When I’m Overwhelmed appeared first on John Poelstra.

You might find it easier to honor your commitments by eliminating the things that waste your time and energy. Here’s how to do it. Highlights Time leaks are things that eat away at your commitments and increase the possibility that you will not honor them Straight-Line Leadership: Tools for Living with Velocity and Power in Turbulent Times by Dusan Djukich “What you have committed to, up to now, is revealed by what you have produced or failed to produce” “Involved with” vs. “committed to” What gets in the way of honoring your commitments? What do you do or where do you go when you have 15 or 20 minutes between meetings? Reducing time leaks adds time back to your day Having large blocks of time without clear intentions or guard rails Committing to do certain things in a given day What things are you doing that aren’t giving you anything back? Managing Slack by turning off the presence indicator and closing it for an hour as an experiment Decide what you will say “No” to in a given week to help you plug a time leak–make them small and doable Unsubscribe from all those newsletters Disable the notifications on your phone or simply power it off Where do you go when you are bored or seeking to soothe yourself? Where do you find yourself without knowing how you got there? What’s the biggest mindless activity that you do in a day that consumes the most time? Credits Original photo source The post 117: Plugging Time Leaks to Honor Commitments appeared first on John Poelstra.

When I’m looking to move something forward I’ve found better results by getting clear about what I’m committed to rather than searching for motivation. Highlights Where does motivation come from and where do you get it? Motivation is illusive and there is a better way What if you aren’t motivated and that isn’t a problem? Motivation as a by-product of commitment Partial commitment is no commitment What are you committed to in your life? How much time and attention do you give them? What would your life look like if you were committed? If you were committed what would you do? Straight-Line Leadership: Tools for Living with Velocity and Power in Turbulent Times by Dusan Djukich Time Warrior: How to defeat procrastination, people-pleasing, self-doubt, over-commitment, broken promises and chaos by Steve Chandler A commitment is something that you absolutely will do or have done–otherwise it is an intention. How to Get Clients: New Pathways to Coaching Prosperity by Steve Chandler Daily commitments of time and things that I have absolute control What are you creating with your commitments or lack thereof? No judgement around what you are or are not committed to Mark Lauren workout programs Clarity of your desire is stronger than any technique or program Credits Original photo source The post 116: Commitment Not Motivation appeared first on John Poelstra.

Here’s how I got back up again after getting off track. I hope it helps you do the same. Highlights Restarting Intention vs. commitment Resizing a task or situation in order to commit Honoring the promises we make to ourselves as much as the ones we make to others Simple process to restart Short list of things to do when you wake up Set an alarm Get up when the alarm rings Get moving by getting some things done! “Good enough” and be done–get it out Stop putting the restart off and just crawl if you have to Don’t rely on motivation or it could be a long time Credits Original photo source The post 115: Restarting Just Like You appeared first on John Poelstra.

One of the keys to the universe and a better life is our relationship with judgement of self and others. Setting it aside has been one of my biggest paths to freedom. The Path to Removing Judgement I originally posted this on LinkedIn earlier in the year. I saw a post at the start of 2022 on LinkedIn encouraging people to “purge negativity” from the new year by removing connections who post negative things. It seemed like a good idea and yet missing something. My take from the post and the comments was that if you get rid the negativity around you, then you will be positive. That hasn’t been my experience. What I found in 2021 and am continuing to this day, is an ongoing evaluation of the judgement I have of others. My own judgement creates my own internal negativity. How I react to what I read and see others post creates my own negativity. Nobody can make me feel negative. That’s my choice, even if it’s a subconscious, knee-jerk reaction. The more I own that, the more is possible. Realizing this is my ongoing work I choose not to receive content from people that I judge. It’s tempting to stay subscribed to the newsletter that has interesting ideas or to follow a person I want to model in order get ideas from them. What I’ve learned from these people is that a majority of my energy goes into critiquing and evaluating them (judgement) instead of useful learning. Yes, I realize you could argue that’s useful on its own. I felt dirty inside after doing that. I unsubscribed and unfollowed all the people and groups where this happens. It’s possible that my critique is “true.” If I don’t have a relationship with them where this critique can be useful, I’m creating a swamp of poison in my heart. Even if I did have a relationship with them, it’s doubtful I could help them in any significant way with judgement in my heart. I see this as a point in time–each “now.” Tomorrow or five years from now I may be able to read things from these same people or groups and have nothing but openness, love and acceptance in my heart. Believing I had evolved from an earlier place of judgement I re-subscribed to a place I used to have judgement around. Within receiving a few emails I was back to my old critiques. So I unsubscribed. More of my own work to do. And I don’t judge that either (except when I do, and then I forgive it). Something else to consider here is the judgement you have towards yourself. My experience is that judgement always travels as a pair. If I’m judging someone else I’m likely also judging myself about something. And if I am judging myself I’m likely judging others too. The post 114: Unsubscribing from Judgement appeared first on John Poelstra.

Maybe you can relate to my experiences and discoveries here and the revelations I had upon waking one day. Reflecting on themes around Judgement Being Doing Conversations with Lisa DiMateo Super salient thoughts right after waking The illusion that if we figure out why we will actually change Mel Robbins The Five Second Rule Credits Original photo source The post 113: Slowing Down More appeared first on John Poelstra.

Seth Vore joins me in June 2022 to give an update on the plans he shared in December 2021. Everything has come to fruition. Seth no longer lives in his house or has a job, however he does have a new boat his family is preparing to live on for the next year as they travel. Learn More about Seth Vore and His Family The Great Loop is a 6,000 mile, year-long boating trip Seth and his family are on ‘Loopers’ Say the Great Loop Is Their Appalachian Trail onFIREfamily – Website onFIREfamily – YouTube Credits Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 112: Checking in with Captain Seth Vore appeared first on John Poelstra.

Lisa DiMatteo joins me to revisit our previous conversation (Being, Doing & Enoughness) while consciously exploring new things we thought might be uncomfortable and weren’t. Background This conversation came about as a result of two things. First was feeling that we played it too safe in our first conversation. Second was misunderstanding Lisa’s reaction to a podcast I shared with her. That podcast was a conversation between Jerry Colonna and Tim Ferriss about Jerry’s two month sabbatical each year. Encouragement I encourage you to listen to this conversation from a place of awareness of what it says about you or what it brings up for you. In other words, don’t listen from a place of trying understand John better, use it to understand yourself better. Prompts to consider as you listen to this episode How is this like me? What’s uncomfortable for me to talk about? What are the places I don’t want to go? What are those things that I can’t be with? Recommended Lisa DiMatteo–Your Vital Self Tim Ferriss and Jerry Colonna—How to Reboot Yourself and Feel Unrushed in the New Year /How to Take a Two-Month Sabbatical Every Year Tim Ferriss and Jerry Colonna — The Coach with the Spider Tattoo Jerry Colonna & Krista Tippet —Can You Really Bring Your Whole Self to Work? Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 111: No-fly Zone Safari with Lisa DiMatteo appeared first on John Poelstra.

Seth Vore shares about his local boat tour company, being debt free, retirement and the year-long adventure his family is looking forward to next year on a boat. Conversation Highlights You never know how following your inklings can inform you–I would have never met Seth a couple of years ago if I hadn’t gone to a podcasting conference several years before that Stephen Warley Unstuckable Podcast Life Skills That Matter Seth’s background as a chemical engineer and how he got into wooden boats How an unfortunate accident with his first wooden boat yielded and even better boat Willamette River downtown Portland The appeal and experience of old wooden boats The magical peacefulness that comes from being on water Woodworking in Seth’s background and his enjoyment of working with his hands The sailboat Seth bought off of Craigslist in college and learning to sail it with his wife (their marriage surived) Navigating and leaping into the unknown How Seth and his family got “debt free” fifteen years ago and were on the Dave Ramsey Show All the benefits Seth’s family has experienced from being debt free Experiencing Stage 4 cancer and how it changed Seth and what he wanted for his future The Great Loop is a 6,000 mile, year-long boating trip Seth and his family are going on “You can always make more money, but you can’t make more time and you can’t buy yourself better health” Seth & his wife spend each Friday nights on YouTube recording their conversation as they look for a boat The FIRE movement–Financially Independent Retire Early The myths around why you “need a job” Getting health insurance if you don’t work for an employer or “retire early” Learn More about Seth Vore Portland Boat Tours onFIREfamily – Website onFIREfamily – YouTube Music Video LinkedIn Credits Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 110: Boats and FIRE with Seth Vore appeared first on John Poelstra.

Lisa DiMatteo joins me to discuss the dance between “being & doing” and “enoughness” against the backdrop of a three week solitude retreat I experienced in October 2021. More About Lisa DiMatteo Your Vital Self Instagram LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 109: Being, Doing and Enoughness with Lisa DiMatteo appeared first on John Poelstra.

Wherein I read another section from The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins and contemplate whether “action” is always the answer. Mentioned The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins Credits Original photo source The post 108: Nothing Might Be Something appeared first on John Poelstra.

Maybe you aren’t a procrastinator, a perfectionist or broken. Maybe you’re just scared. Moving forward might be as easy as having a conversation instead of staying stuck in your head and trying to do it yourself. Mentioned Lisa DiMatteo The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins 4 Ways to Overcome Your Inner Critic & Claim Your Confidence with Mel Robbins on Dear Gabby The post 107: Just Scared appeared first on John Poelstra.

Aaron Graham joins me to explore the meaning we give our experiences and how it affects us. We also discuss different ways to interact with our experiences and how to restart when we’ve lost our way. Conversation Highlights John & Aaron met as coaches to Capital One’s Money Coaching program Aaron’s path to coaching and previous background in acting Coaching helps people examine the meaning and stories they create about their lives and opens the possibility of choosing new ones Discovering the unconscious rules you are living by Choosing to change them and select new ones The amount of time we waste arguing with what is present (and often not) Sometimes we set the trajectory of our lives based on assumptions and gaps we’ve filled in that aren’t even true In the absence of concrete data our inner critic often fills in the gaps in unhelpful ways As an actor Aaron learned through many years of “rejection” that not being selected for a part often had nothing to do with him personally Taking things personally would have resulted in lasting about a week in that industry What do we have control of and what do we want to let go of? Consciously choosing how we want to use a particular situation and what we want to get from it When things don’t go the way we hoped it’s natural… To be judgemental and negative towards ourselves For our heart to take longer to catch up to our head To globalize one situation to whole of our lives Aaron’s favorite re-grounding mindfulness questions What am I experiencing and feeling right now? What does that tell me that I need in this moment? Resistance, frustration disappointment naturally keep us in a place of judgement and negativity Responding to difficult situations Not giving them meaning vs. creating a different story Choosing from a place of power and strength Taking action Creating a really negative story about a particular situation might be an indicator that you are having a stress response It can be used as a tool or an indicator of what’s going on for you instead of a story to be embraced and lived into The value of letting yourself be exactly where you are at and feel it all as deeply as you can Let that energy out Explore what it’s telling you Consider what you need We miss out and keep ourselves stuck when we tell ourselves that we are having the wrong feelings, emotions or reaction to a situation By judging the experience Not allowing our system to experience what it needs to experience so it can move on If you tell yourself that you aren’t supposed to have the experience that you are having you are judging and fighting the experience you are having and not letting your system experience what it needs to experience so it can move on “I’m noticing that I believe that…. is going to ruin my life. How true is that? What is this telling me that I need right now? Raising the consciousness around what you are experiencing Pay attention to what you are noticing When do you get triggered and go into a stress response? What are the stories you are living in? What are the rules that you live your life by? Are these things serving you or not serving you (not good vs. bad)? Judgement of self gets in the way of being able to objectively evaluate what’s genuinely serving us or not Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach Being kind to ourselves and giving ourselves as much time and space as we need to go through the process The Subjectivity of Meaning Get More Aaron Graham Aaron Graham Coaching YouTube LinkedIn Instagram Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 106: Creating Meaning (or Not) with Aaron Graham appeared first on John Poelstra.

Alfredo Deza shares what it’s like to be an Olympian, how he found his way to software and how others can get started there too. We also explore the power behind the word “yet.”   Conversation Highlights Wanting to be known for who you are and not what you have done Downplaying his past as an Olympian Over time coming to embrace his past in sports and how it formed who is as a way to inspire others Persistent and consistent over time There are no shortcuts or quick tips to excellence (the story of Alfredo’s lawn) How Alfredo found his way to career in software, starting with Linux, scripting, Python and beyond (with no formal training or a college degree) Mentors in his life that would not let him quit Sending in a proposal to speak at a Python conference before he fully understood the language Story telling as an effective way of teaching in technical books The power of Yet (Alfredo’s post on LinkedIn that caught my eye) Adding “yet” to that thing you are pursuing and questioning whether you’ll get it It will work out eventually There will be no “yet” if you stop showing up Sometimes it is okay to quit Motivation is an illusion Seth Godin doesn’t believe in writer’s block Alfredo’s advice on how to get started in technology Consider your context and stage of life Gain the knowledge One thing often leads to another There are tons of free resources (including three books Alfredo wrote–see below) Go to the code repositories that benefit from using the particular resources Get experience as a contributor to the project and prove yourself The Fedora Project Go to conferences on subjects that interest you–use your own money and vacation time if you have to Find and connect with Alfredo on LinkedIn Programming Resources Microsoft Learn is a great place to get started Self-published Free books by Alfredo Deza Testing In Python Python Command Line Tools Minimal Python O’Reilly Books by Alfredo Deza Python For DevOps Practical MLOps Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 105: Alfredo Deza–Yet appeared first on John Poelstra.

Today I’m sharing another conversation with Issac Roth about the state of the world as I was seeing it in August 2020 which was admittedly a little grim aided by old memories from OpenShift & Red Hat. This was a couple months before we knew things would get worse with wildfires in California and Oregon (I couldn’t outside for a solid week or more). In the last published episode (recorded in October 2020), Issac shared his experience of almost losing his house in the California wildfires. Issac helps clarify what I was seeing and experiencing in the world (not positive at all) and naturally weaves in his past experiences in startups and our time at at Red Hat creating OpenShift. Issac’s optimism is a natural and effective antidote. I love Issac’s calming presence, wisdom, optimism and unique way of seeing the world. Conversation Highlights Troubling current events and the themes of uncertainty, anxiety and instability Remembering that I have a choice and wanting to use it My own internal conflict about what I’m personally experiencing what I help people with The entrepreneurial journey of holding uncertainty while being super positive and how to manage those doubts Issac’s biggest fears when we were creating OpenShift and how he managed them Building a product based on anticipated usage when real customers are few The constant refinement of priorities, resources and time Reserving time for serendipity Experimenting full fidelity and it’s impact on the data you collect Pushing a boulder up a hill–fulfilling fate or creating fate The ups and downs of startup life How does one find hope in times of uncertainty? The urge to just want things to be okay or know that they will be okay–certainty The distinction between fidelity and integrity Acting in the public or private good Making decisions in a time of very little data without a known framework The apparent absence of truth creates anxiety Taking a “So. What.” perspective to your situation Learn more about Issac Roth Shasta Ventures LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 104: Issac Roth–Experimenting with Fidelity appeared first on John Poelstra.

Issac Roth and I cover a wide-range of topics linked to our personal lives, our work together at Red Hat and the technology world in general–all sparked by wildfires he almost lost his house to. Issac and I go back to the early days of OpenShift at Red Hat. This conversation is not about that though maybe some day we’ll do one. Today I’m sharing a reflective Saturday morning conversation we had in October 2020 about what Issac is seeing in technology and the world around him. It’s an exploration and reflection on what it was like to be five houses away from having his house destroyed by fire and the process he and his family went through to save as much as they could. Conversation Highlights John and Issac reconnect after a long while Wildfires in the California were stopped five houses away from Issac’s The world is decomposing and it’s not necessarily a bad thing The internet enables decomposition Decomposition makes space for new things The Long Tail: Why the Future of Business Is Selling Less of More by Chris Anderson The Long Tail is already happening TikTok has millions and millions of videos instead of one movie Platforms like BandCamp and SoundCloud Finding smaller ways to influence policy and the big divide More choices leads to decomposition which makes way for new things Fire as a good thing Controlled burns Tree species that require fire to germinate seeds Purging old stuff often makes us feel better and creates space Possibility as the opposite of scarcity Empty space and lack of consumption makes room for creativity and possibility Parallels between the startup world and a burned out forest Consciously creating space in the day to have all the time that’s needed Cross pollinating ideas between different communities TikTok as a way to connect and experience people completely different than ourselves New technologies that help us connect were made possible because of decomposition The things that technology enables also comes with tradeoffs Makes privilege gap wider Exchange of personal privacy The systematic process Issac and his partner went through to evacuate their house, save what was most important and say good bye How the process of almost losing his home changed Issac and the parallels he sees to technology and the environment The changing nature of story telling with TikTok and Instagram John’s version of better story telling The meaning and focus we give is a choice Sometimes our thought patterns and beliefs need to be decomposed Setting aside fear and living with uncertainty The practice of creating space to deal with uncertainty Celebrating uncertainty The opposite of fearing what’s around the bend “Showing up to serendipity with preparedness” Is the future brighter than we think as a result of decomposition? Possibility does not negate the things that are hard to be with Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 103: Decomposition, Fire and Optimism with Issac Roth appeared first on John Poelstra.

I’m back in another conversation with Brad Solomon. Today’s episode is more for the newer coach as we get into the mechanics of effective coaching. If you have a casual interest in coaching or are curious about what makes it it work you may find this episode interesting. And as is usually the case, Brad and I meander into other areas too. This conversation is also on YouTube if you prefer to view it there. The visual will explain my reference to lots of books and the virtual background I was using. It was also a fun reference to a previous episode where I referred to reading less books.     Conversation Highlights You don’t have to answer every question you are asked Especially when there’s a trap or assumption baked into the question Answer the question you want to Problems with the question, “How does that make you feel?” It feels like therapy It has the implicit assumption that something has the power to make us feel a certain way (instead of having a choice) Thoughts drive feelings, drive actions Trying to listen and formulate a question at the same time just doesn’t work well Listening with your body instead When you are listening deeply it’s often possible to turn the last thing the person said into the next question Over time and through experience you learn to trust your intuition and that in the moment the next thing to say will appear Sometimes the next thing to say is, “I have no idea what to ask you next” and that is completely okay Handling situations where the person you are coaching doesn’t know what to say or how to answer Seeing your intuition like a dashboard light in your car Awareness that the light is on vs. knowing exactly what it means Keep your questions simple and ask one “I’m not here to answer your questions. I’m here to question your answers.” Experiencing the difference between mentoring and coaching Navigating coaching moments that don’t seem to be going well The job of the coach is to help people move forward–different than solving their problem The power of asking permission to speak a “truth” Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 102: Questioning Your Answers appeared first on John Poelstra.

Brad Solomon and I continue our reflections and riffs about what’s present to us. This time it’s about being present, journaling, and the power (and difficulty) of getting clear about what you want.     Conversation Highlights My longest answer ever to “how are you doing?” Showing up as the best version of whatever is present My break from the news through Future Self Journaling Learned about it from Carolyn Andrews Weekly newsletter and podcast called The Sunday Soother How talk therapy stopped working for her Brad’s reflection that therapy focuses on the past and coaching focuses on the future–what modality do we have that focuses on the present? Neither of us is missing our break from Twitter and the way it brings us down Learning from animals–how clean their requests are and how easily they let things go “What do you desire?” Often a more powerful self-inquiry than “What do you want?” or “What do you need?” “Reported on world” vs. a “created world” The obligations we find ourselves under often come from our past–woulds, coulds, shoulds, need to, etc. When you are doing something you love you don’t have to push yourself forward What story are you telling yourself? What story do you want to be in? Humans seem to be the only animal that puts barriers in the way of what they want Daily writing exercise about what you want What’s really going on “inside here” instead of “what’s going on outside there?” You can’t figure out what you want if you aren’t completely honest with yourself Write down what you want For extra power and clarity read it out loud More Episodes Exploring What You Want What Do You Want? (21) Figuring Out What You Want with Tina Robinson (56) Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 101: What Do You Really Want? appeared first on John Poelstra.

Brad Solomon and I set off on another unplanned exploration into what’s present to us in the moment, including sharing childhood pictures of ourselves. This is a rebroadcast of a conversation I had with Brad Solomon, Founder and CEO of the CTG Group in the UK on his podcast called The Lockdown Sessions. The Lockdown Sessions is a weekly podcast, hosted by Brad that explores reflections on a broad range of topics including self awareness, self management, learning and development issues and personal growth. For this conversation there is also a video on Youtube. If that’s your jam and if you want to see what I looked like when I was four years-old (and many years later in present times) you can see it there. We keep coming back to The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz, but this episode is definitely lighter on the book references the our previous conversation. Conversation Highlights Coaching from an un-nuanced and unfiltered place Our word creates–what are you creating with it? Is being late to meetings your “brand?” Being impeccable with our word or cleaning it up We cannot bring meaning to a situation for another person (only they can) Even though we think we can Even though we try Do you re-play and re-create conversations in your head? How does it benefit you? Changing situations by how you are being and who you bring to the conversation versus saying the perfect thing you figured out from a past interaction Brad likes to ask What did I want to happen? Can I envision it? Do I have clarity of the purpose? How did I get in the way? Owning my role in the conversation How we get in our own way Embracing our inner 4-year-old Seeing the 4-year-old in others as a way of connection and compassion Ways of asking permission to say hard things and designing agreements Listening to our intuition Saying it out loud even if we aren’t sure Unattached to interpreting it correctly Cleaning up what doesn’t work John wonders when the “lock down sessions” will end and the “freedom sessions” will begin Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 100: Your Four-Year-Old Self appeared first on John Poelstra.

Ken Dreyer and I discuss The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier. Our conversation evaluates the book and examines Ken’s experiences putting it to work. Ken is not a coach. My hope is that this conversation shows how simple coaching techniques can help you be a better leader no matter what your role is. Conversation Highlights You don’t have to be an official coach to benefit from the concepts in this book Ken would re-title the book “How to ask good questions” When you give advice over and over again you become the team oracle The book lists seven good questions to ask and examines how each one helps They aren’t meant to be a formula You must build rapport–you can’t just ask the questions and be effective How many times do you just provide the answer? The power and effectiveness of silence Taking notes on interactions at meetings Increases engagement Evaluate what’s going on for yourself Privately vent if it’s not going well Ask yourself questions privately that might change the situation or unlock how you can help The valuable dimensions of asking one question (and closing your mouth) Understanding and avoiding the Karpman Drama Triangle Hero Villain Victim Jim Dethmer elaborates on the Karpman Drama Triangle in this podcast https://fs.blog/jim-dethmer/ Where the questions from The Coaching Habit fit (and where they don’t) and how you might decide Thinking like an Intreprenuer Where it makes sense to give advice Joint participation in solving the problem vs. taking the whole thing on How to help someone who is in a constant state of “I don’t know” A great article by Rick Tamlyn on “I don’t know” (not mentioned and found after we recorded) Steve Chandler: Agreements vs. Expectations (a game changer in any relationship) If you are in a mentor role, consider how coaching (not giving advice) might create a more powerful outcome Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 99: Exploring The Coaching Habit with Ken Dreyer appeared first on John Poelstra.

Brad Solomon and I talk about all the books we’ve started and not finished, what the full catastrophe of life is and how implementing what you know is more powerful than continuing to acquire more knowledge. This is a rebroadcast of a conversation I had with Brad Solomon, Founder and CEO of the CTG Group in the UK on his podcast called The Lockdown Sessions. The Lockdown Sessions is a weekly podcast, hosted by Brad that explores reflections on a broad range of topics including self awareness, self management, learning and development issues and personal growth. Conversation Highlights Full Catastrophe Living How many books do you have on your shelf that you have not finished? Are you reading a book simply to complete it? What if you worked from a very small list of books and implemented everything in those books? Brad likes getabstract.com for short summaries of important books The Four Agreements Being impeccable with our word Not taking things personally Brad believes this is THE best personal development book ever written and the one he recommends the most Creating with our Word Our experience “pulling cards” and the uncanny truth we’ve found in them Trusting our own inner-knowing (what we already know) and how coaching turns the volume up on that Creating the space to help people truly find and determine their own path Brad pushes me on how I really know when to pick up a book or not Asking the moment what it needs and often waiting for the next one What if the solution to your next problem came from sitting in a room by yourself uninterrupted for 30 minutes with a piece of paper and a pen? Does everyone need a coach? Brad believes everyone could do with a little therapy Brad’s observations in his current work as a therapist with children and teens The first things to come out of our mouth are usually not the most important which makes “What else?” such a powerful question Reading books and collecting ideas from everywhere except inside ourselves stops us from having our own thinking and innovation Books Mentioned Yes, the irony is not lost on me that I’ve included quite a list of books from our conversation and I advocate reading less (and implementing more). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn Straight-Line Leadership: Tools for Living with Velocity and Power in Turbulent Times by Dusan Djukich Trillion Dollar Coach: The Leadership Playbook of Silicon Valley’s Bill Campbell by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg, and Alan Eagle Podcast interview with Eric Schmidt by Tim Ferriss about the book Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up by Jerry Colonna Podcast discussion: Jerry Colonna and Tim Ferriss Podcast discussion: Jerry Colonna and Krista Tippett / On Being The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace by Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery by Don Miguel Ruiz , Don Jose Ruiz , et al. More Time to Think: The Power of Independent Thinking by Nancy Kline Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 98: Full Catastrophe Living and a Shelf Full of Books appeared first on John Poelstra.

Brad Solomon and I explore the power of choosing, experiments, discipline, habits and what we are making of the time that is COVID-19. This is a rebroadcast of a conversation I had with Brad Solomon, Founder and CEO of the CTG Group in the UK on his podcast called The Lockdown Sessions. The Lockdown Sessions is a weekly podcast, hosted by Brad that explores reflections on a broad range of topics including self awareness, self management, learning and development issues and personal growth. To give the current events we mention some context we recorded this at the beginning of June in 2020. We met through a mutual acquaintance at Red Hat around our common interest in coaching and leadership development. Doing this series with Brad is a lot of fun. We never plan what we are going to talk about. We meet online, push record and whatever wants to unfold does… much like a great coaching conversation. We are both coaches so you’ll see our conversation often gravitate in that direction, however, I believe there are other things you can take from what we share and are learning in our own lives that may be helpful to you. Conversation Highlights Selecting certain times to make the most of learning and how that’s not always possible Choosing to create a positive outlook through conscious actions Working remote is not a new thing Looking inside before looking outside–the news isn’t a good place to start the day Removing news and social media apps from your phone You can choose to change the sound-track in your head My relationship to discipline and habits Pick and do what is YOU Surfing the waves of what’s going on Ebb and flow Stalled, stuck and drowning because of not choosing COVID–19 has given the entire world the unique experience of globally experiencing the same thing at the same time The cumulative affect of spending 10 minutes every day learning something new Choosing to find the 10 minutes An experiment that does not work is not a failure–it’s learning The fear of starting something that we might want to stop so we don’t start Being on the lookout for judgement Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 97: CHOOSING in an “I Don’t Know” World appeared first on John Poelstra.

Alexis Monville and I discuss The Anatomy of Peace, a pivotal book in my own personal transformation and path to discarding judgement. It turns out that people in conflict value something else more highly than they value solutions. The Anatomy of Peace shows what this is and demonstrates how conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause. Furthermore, the book shows how we systematically misunderstand the cause and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve. p. vii – The Anatomy of Peace Conversation Highlights Alexis Monville joins me in this conversation Change starts with us Where are you coming from and who are you being? Others respond more to how we are being than our actual behavior Change start with who you are being Focusing more energy on helping things go right instead of fixing what is wrong Re-enforcing and praising behavior you want to see more of instead correcting the behavior you don’t want to experience It’s difficult to fake the true state of your heart (or who you are being) Noticing what a heart at war or peace feels like in our body Seeing others as a person (heart at peace) versus an object or obstacle (heart at war) Examining the different boxes we approach situations from The conflict loops that we get stuck in and blame other people for Judgement is usually at play when we are in conflict Judgement of others Judgement of ourselves When we have judgement towards ourselves we are often judging others as well This is a choice too Practicing Hoʻoponopono as an antidote to judgement I’m sorry Please forgive me Thank you I love you Forgiveness as an act of creation–Gary Mahler More About The Anatomy of Peace Great summaries of each chapter Diagrams from the book Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 96: The Power of a Heart at Peace appeared first on John Poelstra.

Here’s how I salvaged a day that might have turned out very differently though the simple act of writing down what was going on in my head.   The Process Bullet or write out everything on your mind to get it all out Declare what you want to create or the day you want to have Create a list of the things you will say “yes” and “no” to that will support what you want to create Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 95: Journaling to Save the Day appeared first on John Poelstra.

On his birthday this year, Rick Tamlyn committed to a whole year of not making any decisions from a place of fear. That reminded me of other things he taught me and the power of making choices. Decision Time? 3 Options to Consider by Rick Tamlyn sparked my thoughts for this episode. Highlights Making decisions from love and compassion The power of simply choosing What if there’s no “wrong” choice? There is no such thing as “hell maybe!” How is fear of the outcome playing into your decision making process? 5 x “And then what…” Choosing is a way out of being stuck even if you don’t know the outcome Taking things less seriously What am you really desiring? Gary Mahler: “I only do what I want. And I don’t do what I don’t want to do even if it will get me what I want.” “Should” is a horrible motivator Choosing as a way of creating the experience you want to have In your response are your “creating” or “reacting?” What are you creating around you based on what you are choosing? Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 94: Choosing Outside of Fear appeared first on John Poelstra.

Alexis Monville and I reflect on a time I gave feedback that was not well received and what we both learned from it. Hopefully you’ll learn something too. Background Today’s conversation is rebroadcast of a conversation I had with Alexis Monville on his podcast about giving feedback. When we recorded this conversation back in January 2020, I didn’t realize I had also helped create the first chapter of a new book Alexis and Michael Doyle were writing called, I Am a Software Engineer and I am in Charge. This was also ironic since I was originally going to write it with them, but then decided not to. Conversation Highlights Changing Your Team From the Inside by Alexis Monville The hidden motives in asking for feedback–what are you looking for? Affirmation Honest feedback about what would make something better Something else The Agile Manifesto speaks to interactions between people Interactions are more important than processes and tools Focus on the content and less on the delivery Our thoughts about an experience create the experience, not the experience it self Taking responsibility for what we put out into the world and being responsible for our own reactions Sometimes it’s better to be direct instead of provocative–otherwise the message risks getting lost Unmet expectations and by extension unmet needs get us into trouble Taking a step back to observer what is going on instead of getting hooked Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg Software engineers a have reputation for being overly direct and getting away with it Does the receiver of feedback really just have to “deal with it?” Can you have a real relationship with another person if it’s a one-directional “deal with it, that’s the way I am” kind of situation? Can you have a good relationship where there isn’t give and take? The idea of relationship as a dance between two people Our previous conversation about distributed teams and the importance of creating agreements Agreements are foundational to good relationships Exiting the agony loop of getting an email “just right” so as not to elicit the wrong response from the other person “Both And” responsibility There’s a mutual responsibility In a relationship for both parties to make it work vs. it being all up to one person to do it 100% right A level deeper in all of this is where we are coming from John’s new insights and convictions from reading The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute Coming from a heart at war or a heart at peace When we come from a heart at peace we are not focused on “winning at all costs” (war) When we are at war, someone has to be “wrong” (judgement) Thinking about how the software releases I managed could have been different if I had come more often from a place of peace Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 93: Giving Feedback and Taking Responsibility appeared first on John Poelstra.

Meg Buzzi, Tina Robinson and I explore archetypes and their usefulness on Massively Useful Thing. Summary & Links This conversation with Meg Buzzi and Tina Robinson took many fun twists and turns. We started by talking about archetypes and that morphed into personas, tarot, personal board of directors, embodiment, and even a little coaching demo by me. This rebroadcast is from Meg and Tina’s podcast called Massively Useful Thing. The three of us met the first class of Co-Active coach training. Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 92: Understanding and Using Archetypes appeared first on John Poelstra.

Yann Toutant and I explore what it means to work remotely in a time of Covid-19 and what we are taking from it. Conversation Highlights Yann Toutant joins me again–our previous conversations are Working Remote on Purpose (Episode #80) Being an Intrapreneur (Episode #90) Grappling with compassion The consequences of being forced to work remote without notice It’s difficult if you haven’t done it before It’s even more difficult to start without warning Yann does not see the present version of people working from home (during Covid-19) as the remote work he advocates He believes home is the worst place to work from It’s extremely challenging and should not be confused with regular remote work Additional levels of stress and complexity A review of Yann’s process by which people and companies can go remote Getting rid of the energy that has accumulated at the end of the day Who we are being–explored more in conversation with Alexis Monville and the book The Anatomy of Peace Where are we coming from? A place of War or Peace Who do I want to be as I go through this unique time? It’s here and it’s not going away Where do you want to invest your energy? A great time to be more focused on the being instead of the doing “Who is the person I want to BE today?” instead of “What do I want to DO today?” Using this time to practice being with discomfort If confinement (quarantine) ended tomorrow, what would you do? Would you go back to the same things? What would you like to be different? How will you prepare? Not wanting to leave the boat after Yann’s four weeks confinement crossing the Atlantic New smells Fear Having become comfortable with his internal journey and needing to venture outside again An important reminder and acknowledgment from Yann about the context from which he and John are having this conversation Are we suffering based on what we fear could happen in the future or what is actually happening in the present? “The future is the present, under construction” Possessions vs. experience The increased societal cost of physical distancing Consciously choosing Welcome home to yourself–take advantage of this opportunity (if it fits your situation) The value of doing our own work AND the value and benefit of working with a coach (not trying to do it all on your own) Yann has two coaches The power of silence Clown Syndrome Filling or not filling the space Silence helps the other person speak from their heart instead of their head–tapping into the unconscious Connect with Yann Toutant Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yann-toutant/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/YannTOUTANT Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 91: Not the Remote Work Yann Toutant Envisioned appeared first on John Poelstra.

Yann Toutant returns to share more deeply from his life and what’s next having stepped down as CEO of his previous company. We talk about intrapreneurship, when to break the rules, sailing and more.   Conversation Highlights I first met Yann Toutant in a previous conversation about remote work and the power of heart decisions Noticing what gives us energy and doesn’t as sign-posts for what we should be doing Sometimes you don’t realize the full extent of your contributions until you leave Giving up control frees up space for creativity Smooth transitions are not all that they appear to be Intrapreneur vs Entrepreneur Acting as an entrepreneur inside the context of an existing organization What decisions would I make and how would I spend money if this was my own company? Someone else with the organization will finish the job or fix a particular problem “My responsibilities are limited” vs. “I have unlimited responsibility” Breaking the rules to innovate or move things forward Going for good instead of perfect Making decisions in a vacuum Offense vs. defense Creating vs. reacting Looking at every step as more information instead of success or failure How nature and being offline influences decisions and perspectives Observing nature as a circular process of death and renewal The Haka ceremonial dance Leaving nothing on the field and playing full out More about Yann’s previous sailing adventure across the Atlantic What Yann is looking forward to in 2020 Freedom Making an impact Building towards his five year goal of financial independence Connect with Yann Toutant Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yann-toutant/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/YannTOUTANT Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 90: Being an Intrapreneur with Yann Toutant appeared first on John Poelstra.

More on what I’m learning and how I am being as a result of consuming fewer books and less information. Conversation Highlights Avoiding the Twitch (Anthony Ongaro) Going through books and podcasts much slower and multiple times Judgment, Acceptance and Freedom by Tara Brach Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn There is no where to get to Convergence of three things Consuming less information Spending the weekend away with my wife Feeling more present The importance of going away alone with your spouse Turn off your phone and the TV Be present to the moment and each other My book reading fast and road trip prepared me well for this weekend away Concentrated times of being make the subsequent actions cleaner and more direct Peace that comes from it A book is just a book It doesn’t matter how much or how little I read right now Peace comes from a place of not needing to accomplish anything or finish a book I don’t need to read another book to get to where I’m going right now Seeing an increasing level of confidence of knowing when to be in being or doing mode Skimming and scanning for interesting things doesn’t move thing forward in our lives It’s like consuming junk food if I want a fit body Personal Inquiry Do you really need to read another book to do what you need to do? Is getting more information simply a form of procrastination? How much of what you’ve read and learned have you implemented? What if you read fewer books this year and implemented more of what you learned in them? Creating negative associations to avoid behaviors or consumption that doesn’t serve me “Reading the news puts poison in my head” “Sugar (candy) reduces my immunity and makes me sick” When I don’t jam as much information into my head there is space From that space comes great ideas or actions to take Concluding Inquires Why are you consuming information? Is that information in service of something positive? Is what you are consuming giving you the outcome you want? What’s something valuable you have consumed or learned recently? Go through it again Implement it Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source: Me All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 89: More Being and Less Reading appeared first on John Poelstra.

Anthony Ongaro interviews me about finding clarity, making lasting changes and how I got into this thing called coaching. It’s a rebroadcast from his video podcast in 2019. Highlights Links mentioned in the introduction The original conversation which contains Anthony’s notes, links, etc. Video of our conversation Learning To Play Like Yourself In 2020 Sign-up for Anthony’s newsletter My highlights after re-listening to our conversation Becoming a CPA and leaving it–starting my career in a very different place than today The big hole in my resume that never was Scary transitions can make a big impact Courage versus commitment How I started working with my first coach Asking for what you need and want My path to coaching The intensity and value of my coaching training through the Co-Active Training Institute Taking little steps forward vs. doing nothing / experimenting Thoughts create feelings Over-identifying with our thoughts and feelings The stories we create about ourselves and live into The power of changing and using different physical spaces Embodiment Thinking your way to different state doesn’t always work Being vs. Doing and the power that comes from both Systems and task tracking Fail safe storage The Beehive Successful and motivating instead of self-defeating The amount of things that have our attention Book reading fast Looking for a hit of knowledge Conscious and intentional reading instead of As much as possible The latest shiny object Honoring my commitment Straight-Line Leadership: Tools for Living with Velocity and Power in Turbulent Times by Dusan Djukich The most successful people don’t necessary ready more books–they likely take more action based on what they know or learn Redefining minimalism as removing distractions 6,800 mile road trip Being present to everything in the moment even if it is unpleasant Michael Neill Challenges and experiments that have paid off Meditation–Insight Timer App Daily journaling with the Five Minute Journal The “legacy” I want to create around ending unnecessary suffering Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 88: Owning Your Clarity appeared first on John Poelstra.

Here are some ways to get back on track when your coaching session has lost its way. Highlights Lack of resonance can signal disconnect and that things are off track Speaking to what’s happening for you Locating sensations or feelings in your body Being with silence Asking the client what they need Getting curious about what “is” Trying to “think” your way to a better place usually doesn’t work very well Listening instead to a certain part of your body often works better Poorly formed topics can lead to lack of resonance Is there a way to clarify what is seeking to be known or the desired outcome? The value of venting or an emotional dump Asking a particular body part to inform you Prompts What would you like to be different by the end of our time? What would you like to be new by the end of our conversation? What meaning are you assigning to how this is going? Gremlins and saboteurs can throw things off track Sometimes they like to turn on the fog machine The land of “I don’t know” What story or judgements are you telling yourself about how the session is going? Ways to break out of a particular state (during or after a session) Meditation Jump up and down Stand up Move outside Change rooms/geography Exercise Hydrate Journal “The story I’m telling myself is …” “The story I could tell myself instead is …” Capture what worked or didn’t Co-Active Coaching: The proven framework for transformative conversations at work and in life by Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandhal, and Laura Whitworth The book is okay (I read and studied from an older edition–I can’t speak to the latest one) The in-person Co-Active training is life-changing Use an unsatisfying session as motivation to learn more or go back to your training Humans are involved The key to success is restarting Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 87: Getting a Coaching Session Back on Track appeared first on John Poelstra.

Here’s what happened and what I learned from our cross-country road trip in August of 2019 Highlights 6,800 miles in 26 days Enough time to form some new habits and perspectives in new places which was interesting Off for the month of August 2019 Ending “unnecessary suffering” Trip was inspired by a conversation with my ACS classmate Karen Ahlquist combined with several upcoming trips Knowing how much it costs us to live and knowing exactly how much we have at any time made it much easier to decide to do this YNAB (You Need A Budget) software to manage our finances has been a game-changer Having just enough of a plan The tension between planning or not planning We made a big loop and drove through the following states (see maps below) Oregon Idaho Wyoming Nebraska Missouri Tennessee North Carolina Kentucky Ohio Michigan Illinois Wisconsin Minnesota South Dakota The result of simply being for the first week or so–reading and listening to very little Things that went well or paid off Prepared a month in advance Physical/paper maps Got our van serviced a few weeks before Long driving days and days of no driving If there was nothing to do or see that interested us after arriving at a location we moved on got us a few days ahead of schedule to do things we wanted to Stop before it’s too late in the day so there is time to wind down before going to sleep Making decisions on a full stomach Seeing a place in person Stopping at all the information places to find good camping Leaving early in the day makes it easier to wrack up the miles and cover more distance Stand-alone GPS unit (always had coverage) highly recommended Costco Thule box on the roof to hold camping gear and free up a ton of space in our van Living in the present vs. the tension of knowing what we would do the next day Sometimes choosing in advance Sometimes making it up the next day Next time Write a few bullets each day after dinner to capture what you seen and where you’ve been A better way to pool and manage all of our pictures Taking a few pictures every day Outbound Route Return Route Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Photo credit: My odometer All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 86: Twenty Six Day Road Trip appeared first on John Poelstra.

This episode explores the new approach to reading books I adopted in July of 2019. Since then I have completed less than five books, a time period during which I would have probably completed twice as many. The goal is to go deeper on a select number of meaningful books and implement the ideas in those books instead of trying to read as many books as possible. Highlights Creating Your Life with Love with Gary Mahler About half way through Gary shares how few books he reads these days and why Reading as a form of mindless consumption Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn My reading rules and the conscious approach I’m taking to what I’m reading The four books I’m focused at the moment of this recording Straight-Line Leadership: Tools for Living with Velocity and Power in Turbulent Times by Dusan Djukich The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by The Arbinger Institute More Time to Think: The power of independent thinking by Nancy Kline Living Service: The Journey of a Prosperous Coach by Melissa Ford Free of the need to “read the latest” and keep up Insights can come from stillness vs. consumption Questions and challenges What’s your story about your reading and consumption? Is it serving you? Is it taking you to where you want to go? Would it be worthwhile to try this experiment yourself? Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 85: My Book Reading Fast appeared first on John Poelstra.

Sometimes the end of one year and the start of a new one is a good time to take stock of things. For 2020 I’m not feeling the need. Highlights Why I’m not seeing the need to “plan the new year” Prompted by the questions What do you want to leave behind in 2019? What do you want to take forward into 2020? January 1st is an arbitrary date Saying “yes” and “no” to make deliberate choices Forgiveness Discarding all of the judgement of Myself Others Judgement about my judgement Planning can be a trap No “Hell Maybe” Is the “reason” really the reason you don’t want to? The power in making a choice The perspective of “no wrong choice” “How to” vs. “Want to” Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 84: Why I’m Not Planning 2020 appeared first on John Poelstra.