The Jackson Two

Listen, sometimes you edit an episode, and then you accidentally become important at work and it ruins your life, and then you forget what the episode was about by the time you find the action points to publish it. Enjoy! Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

🎶 Well you can tell by the way I use my walkI'm the Oracle, burpin' green when I talkProphecies in the attic warmI've been mummified since you were born🎵 Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

What does a summer camp do in winter? When will Saint Sally get the SLIGHTEST consideration from her terrible god-son? And CAN she overnight some sinus meds to PJ? Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

While the kids are exposed to dangerous levels of Kenergy, we discover William’s elemental weakness, have YET ANOTHER argument about magnets, and discuss the perils inherent in perching above Seattle with a katana as a public mental healthcare model Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

PJ and the crew meet YET ANOTHER GOD, William needs to dial 411 to learn what 411 is, and wait, Zebras are HOW big?! Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

ABC tries out for the rugby team, William remembers Southland Tales fondly, Isaac wants to see👏the👏monkey👏, and SO HELP ME STORE-BRAND GOD I'M GONNA FIND THAT CRICKET OR DIE TRYING Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

We realize that Camp Half-Blood is basically the Jedi Council in a BAD way, William takes Casey to task for pronouncing a fake word correctly, and a first-of-its-kind event demands celebration! Rating, reviewing, and telling a friend, well-wisher, or enemy whose grudging respect you have earned about the show would help us a lot, but if you'd care to help us in the form of dollars, head to www.patreon.com/semiautomagic and drop a dime for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and bonus whatnot!

The electrified, enwebulated, mystery-boxingest finale of this interstitial season! BE THRILLED OR BE BILLED! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at patreon.com/Semiautomagic (https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic) for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, WHERE DID YOU GOWHERE DID YOU COME FROM, IMMORTAN CALEB Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at patreon.com/Semiautomagic (https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic) for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

With apologies to Mike D and hopes they'll keep until he's back from the dead Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at patreon.com/Semiautomagic (https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic) for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Dearly belovedWe are gathered here todayTo build sweet-ass go-karts Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Who dat goatm'n? Where'd that lifeguard get chlorine-proof blue hair dye? AND WHERE THE CUSS DID MR. D PUT THE PAYROLL FILES, CHIRON HAS TO DO HIS TAXES. Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The finale of The Sea Of Monsters, brought to you live from the beach that makes you old! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Clarisse gets what's coming to her, PJ gets some advice from a snake, and the Donut Hydra has a job interview! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PONIES TO MEET YOU, FLORIDA, as Luke is in the mood for ribs and Maury has some BIG NEWS for Chiron! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The gang wash ashore in the Land of Golden Girls, Luke accidentally becomes a reality TV star at the worst possible moment, and William finally tells us what unforgivable thing England did to him! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The stage is set for the FINAL SHOWDOWN between our two favorite cyclopes, William derides the public's ability to enjoy a Cuban sandwich the right way, Isaac SAYS A CUSS, and Casey remains a shockingly vocal Polyphemus apologist for POSSIBLY THE LAST TIME! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Listen nothing I can say here will prepare you for Southland Tales, or indeed for the three of us talking about Southland Tales. Just chop off your thumbs, put on your favorite Boxer Santaros movie, and aim at something you won't miss. Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

ENGAGE ATTACK PLAN MACEDONIA, ARM THE ANCIENT GREEK PUNS, AND DAMN THE CYCLOPES. Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ and the gang book a ticket to Toon Town, Population: HIJINX. DOES Polyphemus have any discount codes for his Etsy shop we could use? What IS a goat if not a large rabbit? And WHEN will William kill the douche buzzing their bike up and down his street while SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO RECORD??? There's only one way to find out! (L--it's to list--you need to listen to the episode, that's the way) Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

TAKE me down to the shipwreck graveyard, where the grass is seaweed and the girls are HYPNOTIC and/or tied to the mast, but in fairness that's the one we brought with us.WILL Annabeth achieve her dream of constructing a Neo-Mannahatta and the far wilder, more outlandish goal of having a stable, functional family?CAN Percy protect her from herself AND handle Joan Jett dunking on him in his dreams?HOW long can we stay on-topic and ALSO did you know that Marie Curie's bones are still sealed-in-a-lead coffin radioactive, and will be for another thousand yea--AW MAN, WE ALREADY LOST THIS ONE, AW JEEZ Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

COME ON IN, WE'VE GOT THE MANI-CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU.You've selected our mandatory all-inclusive package, and we've lined up a whole slate of activities for you, such as:-Nutritional Evaluation and Gradual Glamification Including New Garments-Non-optional waxing session (turtles provided)-Our famous celery buffet, with entertainment provided by the world-famous Teachin' Ed & His Cavy Choir-Other jokes that will only be funny once you listen to it! Shit! We did this backwards! Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Steamboat shenanigans get OUT OF HAND AND INTO GIANT MOUTH as PJ and his reluctant crew struggle for their own lives and that of the S.S. The Confederacy Were Racist Cowards!CAN we stop playing Resident Evil 4 long enough to actually record the episode?HOW many drops can one editor fit into a single Audacity file?And WHICH long-dead fast-food option did we accidentally resurrect with A SAUCY VENGEANCE??? Tune in to find out! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Percy applies for a small business loan, Annabeth refuses to check her biclops privilege, we trade POWERFUL PANCAKE SECRETS, and a special preview of the new story in Meowtlaw Country, my long-running fanfiction series about the stray cats in my neighborhood! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

So, listen, SOMETIMES a Y2K happens and two episodes get their chips chomped EVEN THOUGH THE CLOUD IS A THING.When this happens, three friends have to put aside their differences, make ready the jazz gummies, and grumpily re-record them. So come on in, scrumble yourself up some of the blue soup of friendship, and listen for the secret recipe I hid in one of the dumb joke-drops! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Percy and ABC mend their wounded friendship through the most powerful healing of all: mutual hatred of an authority figure, divine customer service is revealed to run on the same principles as that in the mortal world, and we're officially changing the name of the podcast to Rats Are Delicious! THIS IS HOW YOU LEARNED THAT. THIS WILL ALWAYS BE HOW YOU LEARNED THAT. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Camp Half-Blood has a latter-day Wacky Races in the parking lot of an HEB, a tradesperson attempts to bamboozle us into playing Magic: The Gathering, and the first installment of our new hit segment APPLE CHAT! And a BONUS sneak peek of our new TTRPG adventure in the exciting Fishblade system! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

An upsetting dinner, a sophisticated and agile beverage, casual racism we're not sure we can tolerate much longer, and surprise visits from Robby the Robot and THE MIGHTY MONARCH! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Aw JEEZ, who let these golden retrievers into our studio?! They're--NO, MY FICUS! It--PUT THAT DOWN, MR. WORF IS AN ACTION FIGURE, HE IS NOT FOR DOGGOS! Som--WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH. WHAT ARE YOU EATING. DROP IT. DROP IIIIIIIIIT.Oh God okay I gotta go handle this, here, have the episode, there's a war at Camp Half-Blood, Tyson unlocks the Cowpuncher job-class, and some of Annabeth's old tweets are reaaaaaaally problematic OKAY BYE. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Oh are you--gang I'm so sorry, I left my wallet in the pool, does anybody have exact cab fare to...HELL???PJ & Co. learn the terrible, giant secret behind the invention of mouthwash! The Gray Ladies get an eyeful of traffic! Tyson wants to use Annabeth's backpack as a Barf Bag By Jansport™️ and considering what a friggin' racist she's being to him we're inclined to let him! Oh also, a tip that could save your life in a nuclear disaster, courtesy of the angry ghost of Harry Belafonte. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting

Listen: Sometimes you blow up your school. Sometimes the Lord of the Flies reenactment goes horribly right. SOMETIMES, JOE BOB LOVES BABYCAKES. And for better or worse, we're here for ALL of those times. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ'S BACK TO BRAVE THE SEA OF MONSTERS AND SO ARE WE, FOOLS!What the HELL is happening outside the fifth-story window? Why is Saint Sally dressed like Homelander? And most importantly, CAN we stretch this paper-thin chapter for an entire episode? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

It's all come down to this! WHO can answer the fiendish riddles three of the Korn Pixies? WILL Mr. Coffee get the wee rat-jacuzzi he so richly deserves? HOW will Martha resist the perfectly natural impulse to give Harry a lava-swirly? Will Colby Brooks finally get what's coming to him? All these and more in the season finale of Scions Of Camp Half-Blood! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Join us for the inaugural Camp Half-Blood Annual Scavenger Hunt, now with REAL scavengers! THRILL as we face a series of challenges, each more FIENDISH AND ADORABLE THAN THE LAST for the ultimate prize: a TROPHY/RAT HOT-TUB! What nefarious traps await? What ELSE will Casey discover he has in common with ALF? How does William stay so patient with us, and does it have to do with the funny smell and Pink Floyd billowing under his bedroom door? The answers to these and more await! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Friend of the show Isaac kidnaps us and takes us to Camp Half-Blood, where he forces us to create personas according to strict and baffling rules, some of which may be in French! Come meet our characters for this inter-season RPG miniseries and their animal familiars that you're gonna care about more than the characters themselves (we certainly already do), and see if we can survive the summer in the first episode of Scions Of Camp Half-Blood! What blend of coffee did YOUR rat explode after consuming? Can a Harpy have a mohawk even if they're actually a falcon? What wildly inappro-pro audiobooks did YOUR parents play on family road trips, and how did the wealth of John Grisham and Danielle Steele trivia you amassed because of them help you write your college application essay? Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

We're joined by beloved local art-cryptid Tall Greg on a journey through 2010's floppingest attempt to do what JK Rowling having a Twitter account couldn't! Also William tells us where traitors, snakes, and alligators come from, Casey learns a lesson about bringing up Etsy in casual conversation, and Greg gives us a primer on the Disney Channel Original Movie Cinematic Universe!Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Goodbyes.Betrayals.Prophecies fulfilled.This is the end. Also true secrets of reality television production techniques involving big ol’ rocks, William adopts a SHOCKING pro-littering stance, and after absorbing listener feedback we FINALLY incorporate some Jacques Cousteau-centric content. We hear you, we see you, we are confused by you but too afraid to disobey. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ brings the bolt home to its thunderin' daddy, has a family reunion, then a family deunion!Also, we pit our favorite nuts against each other in an amuse-bouche battle royale, William expresses confidence that he could take a 12-year-old in a fight, Casey’s long game comes to fruition in a shocking betrayal of the listener’s trust! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

A family fracas on the beach escalates, claiming the life of at least one surfboar and producing the largest water-crater since the Halifax Explosion! LOOK PJ FIGHTS ARES, THERE'S NOT MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT, but we find a way to say nothin' for an hour, and we thank you for the privilege in The Lightning Thief, Chapter 20: I Fight My Jerk Relative!Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The gang gets slorped up like boba by the opposite of a mountain, PJ tries to fight a hole in the ground, and they escape only to encounter a MedusaCo product demo and a desperately overwhelmed city manager with haunted pants!Also William explains a rich man’s boom-fruit to us, secret relationship techniques are revealed, and we learn what Sting, Carrot Top, George Harrison, August Renoir, and Gandhi have in common! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The Brunner Bunch encourage Hades' exploited workers to start a union, give a neglected multimelonedmegadoggo some much-needed enrichment, and run from the forces trying to drag them into the afterlife! JUST LIKE WE ALL DO EVERY DAY!ALSO, the good name of Samuel Morse is BESMIRCHED, William reveals how much of him a dog is allowed to eat as long as he still gets to pet it, and Casey receives a SQUARE BOX FULLA SOUP wrapped in plastic like dead-ass Laura Palmer, what the HELL, in The Lightning Thief, Chapter 18: Annabeth Does Obedience School! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

Come on down to Crusty's Waterbed Warehouse, where PRICES AREN'T ALL WE'RE CUTTING IN HALF! Enjoy our spacious showroom and please, help yourself to any valuables you'd like from the Employees Only area.Also, we get PRETTY NERVOUS about getting nitrogen bubbles in our joints, reveal the definitive and exclusive listing of our pets’ names AND the secret to Bill Hader’s success, and we get the lead out in the LAST way you expect!Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The dang gang takes a cross-country roadtrip with a zooful of misfit critters and then spend a relaxing time at the Lotus Hotel & Casino! They have a great time! THEY HAVE A NORMAL TIME AT A NORMAL RESORT THAT APPEARS ON MAPS. Also the list of enemies from our hosts’ childhood grows, we settle the Joan Jett Question and finally decide whether horses are useful! YOU WILL SEE THE TERRIBLE RESULTS OF OUR JUDGMENT SOON, here in The Lightning Thief, Chapter 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

The gang eats burgers that were SCARED OUT OF A TERRIBLE WAITRESS, visit yet another ossified carcass of once-plentiful American economic megafauna, and get bamboozled into being reality TV stars for a vengeful god who, in retrospect, was DEFINITELY planning on broadcasting live god-sex to all of Olympus, right? Is this just an elaborate game for all of them, like with Ana de Armas and Ben Affleck in that snail movie? THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO BE SURE, and it's to join us for The Lightning Thief, Chapter 15, A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers!ALSO, Gordon Lightfoot is implicated in one of the greatest naval tragedies in American history, an unscheduled candy-break and we FINALLY GET TO FIGHT A LISTENER! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

COME GET CATFISHED WITH US! PJ has a wee moment at the bottom of a river--we've all been there, we all know this classic way--and receives a word of guidance to...g-go where he was going anyway? Also! The origins of the world’s first floating McDonalds, a list of things baseball bats are not useful for, and William calls Emmanuel Macron out on his low-calorie bullshit as we read through The Lightning Thief, Chapter 14: I Become A Known Fugitive! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ and the gang douse themselves in paranoia fuel, have a confrontation with a beloved Bakersfield icon and commit some LIGHT terrorism at the top of a national monument, as a treat. Also William forgets how old he is and sends Casey into a Quantum Leap, we argue about the ground and whether there’s such a thing as ‘up’, and find ourselves discussing a SURPRISING number of Barons, here in The Lightning Thief, Chapter 13: I Plunge To My Death! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ and the crew receive GUIDANCE and WISDOM and SASS and TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS from a most unexpected source! Also we immediately make several terrible mistakes surrounding the number 12, discover the topic that may very well break this friendship in twain, and we unveil Jerry Lewis’s SECRET SWEDISH ORIGIN STORY in The Lightning Thief, Chapter 12: We Get Advice From A Poodle! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ and the Camp Half-Blood crew set about demolishing both a small businesswoman's shop AND a platter of delicious hamburgers, send a parcel to Olympus COD (Cranium On Delivery) and learn the hard way that hey guess what, who your parents are might not be your FAULT but can ABSOLUTELY be your problem! Also we make two names rhyme that REALLY don’t wanna, Casey goes BERSERK on someone who crossed him in the third grade and we reminisce about the Canadian werewolves of our youth and the other blue-collar monsters of the working class that make this country great. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

THE GANG GETS BUS-TED! Uncle Rick FINALLY gives us a cool gear-up scene, things go VERY wrong in a bus bathroom and the Camp Half-Blood Crew recreates the Battle of Hoth! Also, we discuss why you would go in the ocean if you’re covered in eyes, Hillary Duff dissolves us into ancient mummy bones-dust, and we honestly talk some pretty mad shit on Applebee's but c'mon, like they don't have it coming. Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!

PJ gets to wax oracular, gives Chiron a taste of his own ivermectin, and is finally set upon his quest to the DEPTHS OF WEST HECK! Also we conduct critical Tim/Kyle research, examine the relationship between Godzilla and the cancellation of a food manga, reflect on what we did to Gilligan and ask you to exactly how sure you can be that you didn't die last night. Anchor your asses and hop aboard as we put up our dukes with The Lightning Thief, Chapter 9: I Am Offered A Quest! Find us on Twitter @The_Jackson_Two, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/TheJacksonTwo for early episodes, exclusive preshows and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!