The Daily Bible Podcast by GE & KC

Today we are going to see Isaiah talking about Jesus before he becomes Jesus. He prophesizes the Messiah to AHasAJob. Even talks about a virgin birth which later Jews would interpret to mean a literal virgin birth. We also have Isaiah telling AHasAJob that God is going to get vengeance for the bad stuff he’s […]

Today is not a very long Daily Bible Podcast, Pikachu is going to lose his throne in Israel in the worst way. Another guy is gonna think he has a better plan for Israel. Meanwhile, in Judah, Jotham vacates the throne and his son AHasAJob rises up to take his place. AHasAJob does things that […]

Today, Micah is going to have his final fit towards the Judeans. Apparently the Judeans haven’t been very good for God. So God is going to have to show off his wrath. The Judeans are only self-serving and don’t think to give god a reach around. In the end, Micah prays for them because they […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast is a big crossover event between the Old Testament and the New Testament. Micah is going to tell everyone about how Jesus is going to peacefully come on everyone. Micah has his second fit with the Judeans. He talks about some texas chainsaw massacre level stuff and also mentions […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are starting the book of Micah. Micah is a copy-cat of Isaiah but he goes a bit deeper and more prophecies. Micah has 3 fits where he yells at the Judean people. Judah has pretty much screwed the pooch big time by worshiping other gods. They’ve done this […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Pikachu is going to take down Pecker to take over Israel. Before that, we have Isaiah with more bad news from God. God is really going to mess them up now unless they repent and turn back to him. Otherwise, they will not like the consequences. God takes his […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, We are starting the book of Isaiah and he has some really bad news for Judah. For one thing, Judah has been messing up really bad. He tells them they need to work on their worshiping skills. The daughter of zion yeeted herself out of that place because they […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, the Priests tell Amos to “eff off boomer” to which Amos promptly flips the bird and says “I’m outtie 5000… y’all gon regret that yo.” After Amos is kicked out for being a boomer, King Jerry Jr. has a really bad day. Then Shallow Hal takes over and is […]

Today we are continuing in the book of Amadeus (Amos) on the Daily Bible Podcast. Last time God prepared Israel because this time they aren’t getting a safe-word. God is going to destroy everything because the Israelites don’t worship him enough. He gives them one last out and that’s to seek him and worship him. […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Amadeus (Amos, I’m told) is given messages from God and proceeds to relay them to everyone. All the messages are bad messages about how he’s gonna judge them. He judges the Israelites the worst of all because they were supposed to be his brown nosers but they didn’t listen […]

Today in the Daily Bible Podcast, God contracts dementia and goes crazy by flip-flopping back and forth on whether or not he likes the Israelites. One minute he hates them… then he likes them… but he really hates them… make up your mind. Then he throws the whole abusive father figure in there to make […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are continuing with Hosea and today Hosea is going to be laying out how bad the Israelites have been. God is really mad at these Israelites and he’s going to mess them up bad. He gets so mad and irate that he starts threatening weird stuff. At one […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Hosea doesn’t really seem to like his children but that’s because they probably aren’t his kids. So Hosea is just a normal guy but then one day God tells him to marry a morally flexible woman that loves to step out on Hosea. That eventually results in 3 kids […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jonah gets called to Ninevah but decides he doesn’t wanna do that so he hops on a ship where he gets tossed overboard and eaten by a big fish. Besides the fact that you can’t survive in a fish for 3 days and nights, Jonah is seen as a […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Elisha’s bones resurrect a person that is thrown into his tomb. So last time, Elisha bit the dust. He turned into Bones and was buried. Now, Judah is holding a Judean King Competition where the contestant that performs best wins the Kingship. Luckily that was Ummmhizzah. He does a […]

So Today in the Daily Bible Podcast, child-king Joe is all growed up as a 14 yo. E. Honda chooses multiple wives for him. Joe decides to restore God’s temple. He diverts money from much needed social programs to build this God wall. They don’t actually end up building it because Joe ran on a […]

Today Joel is going to prophesize God coming to Israel and it’s not pretty. Really though he’s pitching a new disaster movie to be shot in Israel where the God Thanos comes in to destroy everything. Thanos God employs spiderman-like ninjas that climb and run up walls. Part of Joel’s plot is that Thanos God […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Child King Joe is gonna take the throne and clean house. First, we start off with Surprised Fonzi’s Mom going crazy after Surprised Fonzi dies. She wants to rule so she cleans her own house to make sure she’s going to be the ruler of Israel. Someone saves one […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, John Wick is going to clean house in Israel because that’s what you do in a hostile take over. They stole his ride and his dog and now he’s getting revenge. Also, Ben Kenobi stops by to be taken out by Azreal who then makes the Israelites pay for […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jor-El loses his clothes twice in fits of over-dramatic rage over a leper and two moms that fight over “food.” So we start out with J-hor getting some stomach cancer and Airhim fighting with Israel. Airy, King of Airhim, was setting up little camp sites around Israel and Elisha […]

Today in the Daily Bible, Elisha is going to bring Jor-El and J-Ho some SmartWater so they can defeat the Moab. J-hor starts off co-ruling with J-ho. J-hor cleans house by offing all his bros and the famous k-pop boy band the Princes of Israel. Jor-El asks J-ho to fight the Moab with him and […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we have Elisha making a call to the wild to teach some youths why they shouldn’t make fun of magical beings. First off, we lose Elijah this week to a fabulous chariot and a sudden tornado. Before that Elijah does some Moses stuff. After Elijah is gone, Elisha does […]

A lot of things happen today in the Daily Bible, A surprised Fonzi sends 102 men to escort Elijah back to his palace and Elijah becomes a Firebender to attack them. Before all that though, Ahab kicked the bucket during a battle which he was told he would die in but he ignored. A surprised […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are discussing a certain prophet who was labeled as fake news by OT Donald Trump (aka Ahab). We start off reminiscing about how God whispered sweet prophecies into Elijah’s ear and selected Elisha to succeed him. Meanwhile, Ahab and Jezebel were up to no good. They started making […]

So today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jesus personally visits a guy named Elijah to tea bag some sense into him. Elijah gets selected by God to be His prophet. So naturally, the first thing that Elijah does is threaten the local government. After successfully becoming the kid everyone hated he chilled by a stream […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are talking about the anals of the kings of Israel where all the deeds of the Kings are stored. I mean we don’t have it now and we’re unsure if it ever really existed but the Bible references it as where all the information on the Kings of […]

So Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, We are going to find out that both Rory and His son are like the same person. They do all the same stuff wrong and make god mad in the same ways. Jerry was priesting everyone that wanted to be a priest. He was the Oprah of the […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Rory dumps a massive load on Jerry and Jerry rebels. So as you may remember Solomon is gone and now the kingdom is split in two. Jerry begs Rory to lighten his load. Rory spends 3 days and nights decided whether to take Jerry’s load but ends up making […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we have Solomon who messes up big time and goes limp/flaccid. We start off with Solomon getting 700 wives and 300 concubines from foreign nations. He started worshiping other gods and you know how much God hates getting sloppy seconds or whatever place he was in. God decides he’s […]

Today in the Daily Bible, we have the Queen of Sheba visiting Solomon to assess his rod. We start off with it taking 13 years to build Solomon’s palace. I can imagine this makes God jealous because the palace took 6 more years to build than the temple. God makes a covenant with Solomon, which […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are discussing Solomon’s weird dedication of God’s temple that he just built out of pure gold. First of all, he needs to move the ark there, I don’t need to tell you what’s actually in the ark…we all know that’s God’s secret stash of adult toys. Anyways, in […]

Today we have a lot of stuff going on but basically, King Solomon is like an Old Testament Donald Trump in this one. Solomon is building the temple in this one and he has to call on one of his dad’s “special buddies” to give him some good wood. The Goodyear Tire guy from the […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, the new king Solomon gets his revenge on people that have wrong both him and his father David. First up is Abinhinijab who has for Shaggyhag as his wife because women are property if you didn’t know. Next, Solomon gets Binbin-sala-bin to execute order 66 on a few people. […]

Today in the Daily Bible Podcast, King Solomon is going to take over the iron throne because of nepotism. Of course, one of his various brothers tries to take the throne before it could be given to him but his momma wasn’t about to let another wife’s child take the throne because David already said […]

Today in the Daily Bible Podcast, we find out how David manages to extort materials from the Israelites and they think it’s a good thing that they are doing it. First, we start out taking care of some logistical stuff like who guards the wine and whatever. Then we move onto the Lion King-esq presentation […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are taking a look at 1st Chronicles 23 – 25 where they divide up the Levites, assign Britney Spears impersonators, officially began class warfare, and hired the Watchers on the Wall to defend the Israelites against the Frost Giants. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/godlessengineer Subscribe to YouTube: http://SubToGE.com Patreon: […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Satan uses his evil accountant abilities to persuade David to defy God and take a census of Israel. Also at that time, The good and merciful God kills 70K people for literally nothing. But hey, Satan is evil right? There are also magical numbers of 7 and 3 today […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are looking at how David hunts down a demon warrior named Sheeva. Sheeva stole his men in an attempted coup. We start out with Joab telling David to quit crying and grow a pair because the people are confused by all this switching up with kings. First David, […]

Today in the Daily Bible Podcast, the Bible takes part in revisionist history just like Christians always do. We start off with Absalom getting really bad advice from his advisor. He laid with his dad’s concubines as a way to rub his dads is his brown star. He also tries to go and attack David […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we witness David being a crazy ex-girlfriend to Absolom, his son. First, Abbey gets back into town and everyone wants a piece of his hair. Then David becomes super jealy of Abbey and sets his lawn on fire to get his attention. Abbey asks David “WTF?!?!?!” and they french […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are taking a look at the time King David was perfectly fine with some forced incest. One of King David’s sons decides he likes his sister a little too much and the fact that he can’t have her makes him physically ill. So he concocts this plan to […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, David finds himself fasting and hasn’t showered in about a week when his son with Bathsheba is taken by God as punishment for making God mad. He made god mad by dispensing with Bathsheba’s hubby and then marrying her. After his son is gone, David moves on like a […]

Today in the Bible, we are looking at David getting cucked by god in public! Well, that is the threat at least after David arranges for Bathsheba to become single by canceling out her existing husband. This is all done because David got too lazy for the battlefield and got bored at the castle so […]

Today we are reading 2 Samuel 6 – 8 where the first prophecy of the Messiah (aka JESUS) is given to David. We start where we left off last time and that was when David had the ark moved to Jerusalem. Once there, David let his balls fly in front of slave girls so one […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are looking at Uzzah helping David move the ark to jerusalem after he took it over. Uzzah didn’t know that wanting to save the ark was going to mean his untimely demise. Also, more fighting. David’s wife hates him now. And some rando takes care of the ark […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we take a look at how David won the Game of Thrones by taking over all the tribes of Israel while they were having a major disagreement. Basically, Bocephus took over after Saul died but that didn’t quiet the Israelites. They grew bored and decided one day that they […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are going to be discussing Saul consulting a Witch to talk to Samuel and then being cursed to death. Saul consults a witch to get in touch with Samuel because God has turned a cold shoulder to his late night texts. Samuel is pretty po’d so he tells […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we take a look at the time when David invented socialism in the Bible. David met and cursed Kneeballz in the desert. He lies to a king about harassing Phillies. He even rubs Sauls nose in his own poop today…What an absolute mad lad. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/godlessengineer Subscribe […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Saul chases Big D around only to have to make a covenant with him. By covenant, you know what we mean. First, we start out with David tricking some priests with his boyish charm. You know how priests are suckers for that. Then he heads to one place but […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, David is going to become friends with Jonathan. Like really really close bros. The type of bro you wanna seductively kiss in the wheat field. David also gets more and more popular among the Israelite people. He rises in the ranks of the army. Saul really doesn’t like him […]