The Biggest Problem in the Universe

Episode 6 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock People who can't eat spicy food 3820 Non-apologies 2623 Condoms -1188 America Sucks at Soccer -2356 See All the Problems... jQuery(document).ready( function($) { console.log('test'); $('.voteup').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_up', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { console.log(response); obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); $('.votedown').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_down', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); }); Download the Episode Here’s the article from PopSci.com that suggests love of spicy food is built into your personality and why we all need Mexican parents. Here’s Dick’s cool racing rims bro! And finally, the full timeline of our long, drawn-out non-apology to China. Almost two weeks of bullshit that put billions of dollars in trade and escalated the scenario into an international incident.

Episode 5 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock Conspiracy Dipshits 8480 Car Insurance 2716 Marriage 1479 Table Nazis -1135 See All the Problems... jQuery(document).ready( function($) { console.log('test'); $('.voteup').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_up', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { console.log(response); obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); $('.votedown').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_down', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); }); Download the Episode Here’s the CBS News clip about the divorce rate going down during a recession, stupid Alex Jones predictions that didn’t happen, and the video about the Raelian Embassy: I won’t link to the 9/11 video because it’s turbo stupid and I don’t want to spread it any more than it already has, but if you’re curious, search for “100% Proof Holographic Plane” on YouTube. Correction: the quote I attributed to Lewis Black was actually a Louis CK quote.

Episode 4 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock Guys Who Need to Get Laid 2460 College 2248 Expensive Steak 860 Dogs -2099 See All the Problems... jQuery(document).ready( function($) { console.log('test'); $('.voteup').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_up', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { console.log(response); obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); $('.votedown').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_down', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); }); Download the Episode

Episode 3 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock Other N-words 5630 Everyone Needs to Lose 20 Pounds 1297 Monkeys -22 Tesla -5308 See All the Problems... jQuery(document).ready( function($) { console.log('test'); $('.voteup').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_up', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { console.log(response); obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); $('.votedown').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_down', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); }); Download the Episode Here’s the “bossy” campaign for thought control: Here’s the article about the BBC banning the “G-word.”

Episode 2 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock Horoscopes 3741 The Plastic Bag Ban 1854 Long Emails 390 Tinder -225 See All the Problems... jQuery(document).ready( function($) { console.log('test'); $('.voteup').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_up', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { console.log(response); obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); $('.votedown').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_down', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); }); Download the Episode Here are the references for this week’s episode. The horoscope article about precession of the axis discusses the new zodiac sign, “ophiuchus.” Turns out we were both pronouncing it incorrectly. Whatever. If you give a shit, here’s the correct pronunciation. I don’t foresee myself ever saying it again and am going to commit to forgetting the pronunciation as soon as I finish this post: Wow, turns out even when I think I’m wrong, I’m right. I was pronouncing it correctly all along: Here’s the Komo News article/video about the plastic bag ban. And finally, the research paper about the rise in E. coli and other food-borne illnesses due to the plastic bag ban is here: http://blogs.berkeley.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/SSRN-id2196481.pdf. Don’t be a moron. Read it.

Episode 1 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock Crying 2159 Guys Asking Other Guys About Their Dogs 285 Families 84 Maddox -4153 See All the Problems... jQuery(document).ready( function($) { console.log('test'); $('.voteup').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_up', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { console.log(response); obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); $('.votedown').click(function() { var problem_id = $(this).data("id"); console.log(problem_id); var data = { action: 'problem_vote_down', problem_id: problem_id, solution: false, }; var me = $(this); var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php'; var ajaxurl = 'https://biggest.thedickshow.com/wp-content/plugins/big-list/vote_handler.php'; jQuery.post(ajaxurl, data, function(response) { obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); console.log(obj); $('.votes-'+obj.problem_id).text(obj.votes); }); return false; }); }); Download the Episode