The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

When somebody fakes a future to get what they want in the present, the disappointment, confusion, self-doubt and sense of rejection can leave us reeling and distrusting. Natalie revisits Future Faking and why we must, ultimately, be careful of deceiving ourselves. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about why the infamous piece of advice, 'He's just not that into you' from the 2004 book of the same name, can easily be misinterpreted as 'You're not enough' or 'They behaved as they did because they didn't feel enough'. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about why we resist blocking, unfriending or deleting even when continuing to engage harms our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Boundaries are widely misunderstood, so it's no surprise that so many of us struggle to have that at work. Natalie dives into what it means to have work boundaries and why they matter. Instagram | Reclaim Your Work Boundaries | Blog | Shop

Natalie delves into our messy relationship with rest, including acting as if we owe everyone our 'free time' to others and our fear of appearing 'lazy'. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about the three vulnerability habits we all need to embrace: admitting what we don't know, admitting when we've made a mistake, and admitting when we're in the wrong. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about shifting our relationship with trust to a healthy place, including recognising where some of the things we do to foster trust or 'make' someone prove that they are trustworthy are precisely the source of us feeling unsafe in the first place. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about why we need to shift our perception of what a breakup is and what it means about us so that we can let go of old stories and painful feelings that still affect us today. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about why we need to change our relationship with criticism so that we stop investing so much of ourselves into trying to control the uncontrollable and being self-critical. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie talks about how we've been socialised to keep up appearances and why this pretence, whether it's about nothing being wrong or that who we are is not OK, is damaging to our wellbeing and relationships. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Sometimes we try to 'manage ourselves' too much instead of articulating a need or a boundary. Natalie shares her insights from a recent experience of this and how it's revolutionised her attitude towards her needs and what sets off anxiety. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie explains why it's time to recognise that people can be more than one thing and stop denying, rationalising, minimising, excusing, assuming and generalising ourselves into feeling stuck because we can't reconcile who we think someone is with other things that don't fit that image. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie explores the unease we experience when we believe that things seem a little or a lot too perfect and what we can learn from it Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

Natalie shares how we can use our awareness of certain habits as a notification that we are anxious about *something* so that we can take better care of ourselves. The Anxiety Sessions | Instagram | Blog | Shop

In the first episode of 2021, Natalie breaks down compatibility, our ability co-exist harmoniously with someone or something. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

What does a project shifting dramatically, increased work responsibilities or hours beyond what was originally agreed, an overbearing and critical partner who always 'knows best', and someone in a casual relationship thinking and behaving as if they're in an actual relationship have in common? They're all examples of scope creep. Download The Emotional Baggage Sessions for free. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop

So many of us have been conditioned to feel shame about loneliness and to misunderstand what it is and why we and others experience it. Natalie talks about shifting our perception of loneliness and how to understand our own loneliness experiences so that we can break out of any habits that fuel it but also be more supportive of others. Download The Emotional Baggage Sessions for free. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog

Some of us are waiting to have sex. It might be until marriage, it might be until the relationship has reached a certain point, it might be that we haven't had it yet and so we're waiting to trust someone enough to. Natalie talks about what we need to be mindful of if we are waiting and some of the issues we can come up against. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog

The trap that so many of us fall into when we recognise our discomfort or that we don't want to do something is having a passive response. Natalie shares four steps for having a more assertive response that allows you to feel good about yourself and evolve your boundaries. How To Say No: The Scripts Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog

Natalie talks about a subject that many people grapple with but often feel ashamed. Even if estrangement isn't something you've dealt with, this episode is also about how we need to update our perceptions of family and be empathetic and supportive of people who have a less than 'great' family experience. The Intuition Sessions Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog

Natalie does a deep dive into a subject that creates a level of discomfort in a lot of humans to answer a question that befuddles so many of us even though we put so much effort into trying to enjoy the benefits of intimacy or avoiding it: What is intimacy? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

It's 2020, and yet, so many of us have a confusing, complicated and even shameful relationship with sex that causes us to be and do things that don't reflect who we really are or what we really want. In what will be the first of several episodes over the coming weeks and months about sex, Natalie talks about why we need to evolve our relationship with sex. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

While it isn't a new issue, disappointment about online interactions not blossoming into something bigger and better in real life seems to have been heightened by the pandemic, thanks to it limiting our social interactions. Natalie talks about the importance of managing our imagination and expectations so that we don't end up falling for a hologram or setting ourselves up for a fall. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

To celebrate the 200th episode of the podcast (yay!), Natalie sits down for a chat with her very first guest (and the one who came up with the idea for the show!), her husband, Em. Using questions from listeners, they give a little insight into their relationship, including how they met, how they knew they were each other's 'one', and overcoming conflict. **Please note**: This episode was recorded differently to other episodes due to needing to record another person. Thanks to the t'internet, there's a few times where the sound dips, but it's otherwise good! Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie talks about why no isn't a dirty word and how it leads to saying yes to more of the people, things and opportunities that reflect who you really are. How To Say No: The Scripts Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

We all have an idealised version of ourselves, an image that reflects perfection or that's certainly 'better' than reality. Natalie talks about how being disconnected from and not appreciating our actual real self in the pursuit of the idealised version can lead to problems and pain. The Perfectionism Sessions Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Ignoring or dismissing warning signs about a person or situation means that we ignore and dismiss ourselves. Natalie explains how categorising 'red flags' as code amber and red alerts help us to get grounded and acknowledge whether we're going against ourselves, ignoring incompatibility, or are in danger. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Sometimes we take things so personally that it derails us. We feel stuck in shame, rejection, rumination and resentment, and we might behave in ways that don't reflect who we are in the main. Natalie talks about why this happens and how to break the habit. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Sometimes, how we feel on the inside doesn't match what we're doing on the outside. We act what we think is 'nice' as a way to suppress and repress ourselves. In other instances, we encounter someone who seems 'nice' but they cross our boundaries or we feel what we think is 'irrationally' annoyed, resentful or frustrated with them and can't put our finger on why. Natalie talks about why 'nice' can sometimes be a means of covering up anger and control. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage. **Please note! The podcast will go on hiatus until 11th September. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Am I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have? Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communication--compassion, congruency, clarity, ownership and grace--to help us see the wood for the trees and build our confidence with communicating who we are through healthier boundaries. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

So many of us don't realise how we spend our lives doing things from a place of guilt. We think we're being noble and loving, but near-constantly feeling bad about ourselves and avoiding healthy boundaries and self-care leads to resentment and unhealthy relationships. Natalie talks about what's really going on with our perpetual guilt. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Defining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anxiety that comes with it. Natalie talks about why defining the relationship conversations don't have to be so awkward and scary. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-powerful influence caused someone or a situation to become. Natalie delves into why we languish on the notion that we scared something or someone away. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Chemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of us walk into time and again. Natalie breaks down why we mistake 'chemistry' for emotional disturbance and shares tips for breaking the habit to forge healthier relationships. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

How do we distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one? Natalie explains the landmarks of healthy relationships: balance, commitment, consistency, intimacy and progression. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

When promising chats and dates don't lead to the relationship we want and anticipated, we can feel stuck in a frustrating dating cycle. But what if what's causing the lather, rinse, repeat is a couple of particular blind spots that keep setting us up for disappointment? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased awareness and conversations about racism. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

There was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far more prevalent than we realise. Natalie shares examples and how to recognise it, plus she explains why we mustn't normalise gaslighting and let it go unchecked. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and Why aren't I doing more? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

When Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of replies about this portrayal of a casual (sometimes secret) relationship mixed with a complicated friendship. Natalie talks about some of the sources of hurt and misunderstanding in casual relationships and what we can learn from our participation. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

What if having your needs and wants met has absolutely nothing to do with how worthy you are and whether you 'deserve' it? Natalie shares a recent light-bulb moment and talks about why we have to stop telling ourselves the lie that our worthiness is to blame. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Humans don't like unsatisfactory endings, hence why we feel as if we're left hanging by the sudden cancellation of a TV series or a dodgy ending. Natalie talks about how our desire to close loops can cause us to do things like seek validation, wait for a call we didn't want or to feel as if the 'bad guy' won. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

When someone shows us who they are, they're showing us their values. If that's different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge this. But sometimes, despite what we know, we look to give a second (or umpteenth) chance. Natalie breaks down what's really going on in these situations so that when we do give (or receive) chances, we do so with more awareness and truth. Instagram | Break The Cycle | Blog | Membership

When an ex who didn't treat us with love, care, trust and respect starts saying 'all the right things', it's all-too-easy to be nostalgic. Before we plot our fairy-tale ending or abandon opportunities, our current relationship or even ourselves and the growth we've experienced since the relationship ended, let's check ourselves. Instagram | Courses | Blog | Membership

So many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. Natalie talks about why allowing ourselves to feel angry is critical to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing, and why acknowledging our 'silent rage' helps us to be more aware of our people-pleasing. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership

What's your tolerance for discomfort, boredom or time out from your typical routine? Natalie talks about our discomfort with having time and space, especially when it means that we might feel and think more than our typical way of life allows for. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership

Natalie revisits the topic of improving communication in our intimate relationships. When we recognise that we're experiencing an issue or that we need to express difficult emotions or thoughts, we sometimes decide to keep it to ourselves so that we don't hurt the other party's feelings or ourselves. But the moment we do this, we're blocking intimacy. It creates more problems than if we'd spoken up in the first place. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership

What do you do when you feel as if your whole world has been turned upside down? Well, that's something that a lot of us are feeling right now. Natalie shares some thoughts on navigating anxiety and uncertainty. She also digs into some questions/situations that have cropped up thanks to Coronavirus: Do I have to check up on people/family? My ex reached out to me. What does it mean? What do I do? I'm thinking about contacting my ex. Also, what am I going to do about dating??? How do I deal with other people's anxiety about the Coronavirus? I feel bad about needing to run my business and selling my products/services? Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership

Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party is benefitting from it. Natalie talks about why even though we can do something, like keep messing with someone who is way more into us than we are, it doesn't mean that we should. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership