The Allender Center Podcast

In case you missed the title of this episode, the big news is that our beloved co-host of The Allender Center Podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen, will be taking some time away as she and her husband prepare to welcome a new baby into their lives. Rachael reflects on her journey so far as she chats with Dan Allender in what will be her final episode for the next few months. Please join us in wishing Rachael all the best, and as she says in her closing statement of this podcast: "See you on the other side."

How did we get here? In our divided nation - and in our fragmenting churches - fear and hatred are running rampant. This week, Dan Allender speaks with Pete Wehner, who is an in-residence Senior Fellow at The Trinity Forum, an author, and a contributor to publications such as the New York Times and The Atlantic. Their conversation is an invitation to those of us within the body of Christ to consider the factors that influence our own stories, our faith, our political views, and our relationships with others.

How did we get here? In our divided nation - and in our fragmenting churches - fear and hatred are running rampant. This week, Dan Allender speaks with Pete Wehner, who is an in-residence Senior Fellow at The Trinity Forum, an author, and a contributor to publications such as the New York Times and The Atlantic. Their conversation is an invitation to those of us within the body of Christ to consider the factors that influence our own stories, our faith, our political views, and our relationships with others.

We're continuing with the second part of the conversation with Cole Arthur Riley, author of "This Here Flesh," co-hosted by Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster from The Allender Center. We'll drop back into the discussion as Rachael asks Cole about the ways she has encountered God in the midst of encountering the trauma and horrors of her own story. If you missed the first part, you can go to the previous episode entitled, "This Here Flesh with Cole Arthur Riley, Part 1" to hear Cole speak about the impact of her family of origin on her life.

Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Linda Royster from The Allender Center as they co-host this conversation with a very special guest. Cole Arthur Riley is the creator of Black Liturgies, a space for Black spiritual words of liberation, lament, rage, and rest; and a project of The Center for Dignity and Contemplation where she serves as Executive Curator. She is the author of the New York Times best selling book, This Here Flesh. In the first part of this conversation, Cole talks about the impact of her family of origin and how she came to tell her story. Be sure to stay tuned for the conclusion of this conversation in next week's podcast episode, in which Cole will share how her story led her to a new understanding of the Divine.

In this week's episode, Dan Allender speaks with one of the driving forces behind The Allender Center: Kalee Vandergrift Porter, the Director of Business Development. Kalee shares her journey of being drawn to chaos, grappling with the expectations put onto her growing up, and discovering her own voice in her story.

In this episode, Dan Allender interviews his boss, Jeanette White, who is the Executive Director of The Allender Center. You will get to hear some of the themes of Jeanette's story, from her work in trauma care with The Allender Center to her personal encounters with trauma.

If you've just started following the Allender Center, or even if you've been around for a while, you may know us as an organization that holds space for healing from trauma and abuse. You may wonder why we place so much emphasis on story.This continued interview of Dan Allender by his co-host, Rachael Clinton Chen, reveals the history of the inception of the Allender Center, why story is at the core of our work, and the reason we believe each of our stories are the key to discovering real meaning and connection to ourselves, to God, and to others.

In the first of this two-part series, Rachael Clinton Chen interviews Dan Allender about the origins of his work in helping people address and heal sexual abuse. You'll drop into Dan's story in the mid-1980s as he was finishing his doctoral studies. He was asked a question by one of his clients: "What do you know about sexual abuse?" At the time, this very prevalent issue was not being addressed in secular culture, let alone by the church. Listen to how Dan grew into his unique role as a therapist, teacher, and innovative leader to help bring healing and transformation to those who have suffered harm and abuse. Please note this does discuss the sensitive topic of sexual abuse and may not be suitable for some listeners.

As we continue our discussion about spiritual abuse, this week we're looking at its impacts and how we can begin to move towards healing. If this is a subject you'd like to continue to explore, or if you'd like to share this material with a loved one, we have a list of more articles, podcasts, and online learning opportunities in the show notes of today's episode.

We recently re-released the recording of the Confronting Spiritual Abuse webinar led by Rachael Clinton Chen, so we're also revisiting the topic of spiritual abuse here on the podcast. This week, Dan Allender interviews Rachael Clinton Chen about her experiences with spiritual abuse, how she started teaching on this topic, and how people can identify spiritually abusive people and systems that they encounter. We invite you to stay tuned for the second part of this conversation next week. If you'd like to go deeper into this topic, consider enrolling in the "Confronting Spiritual Abuse Re-Release." This is a full day of teaching from Rachael Clinton Chen that you may go through at your own pace. We offer this information not only to expose the harm, but because we believe that healing is possible. By doing this work, you can begin to reclaim spiritual beliefs and practices and reconnect with God and others in a deeper way.

Dan and Rachael continue their conversation from last week about post-traumatic stress. Once we identify and acknowledge it, how do we offer care for ourselves and those around us? We hope this conversation inspires you to contemplate some of the simple self-care practices and rituals you can implement in your own life, and the ways in which you can tend to yourself and others with mercy and care.

Discussing the topic of post-traumatic stress can feel particularly overwhelming because so many of us are currently in a state of ongoing post-traumatic stress. Dan and Rachael approach this conversation feeling weary, yet determined to unpack the impacts of PTSD so that we all might have more awareness, understanding, and grace for ourselves and those around us. We especially acknowledge the leaders and helpers - healthcare workers, teachers, parents, friends, and family members helping loved ones.

As we approach Easter, Dan and Rachael consider the resurrection and the promise it holds for our own stories. The resurrection is not meant to dismiss suffering, but to give us hope that there is something on the other side of our suffering.

In this continued conversation on what it means to be wholehearted, Dan and Rachael ask one another - and you, dear listeners - to reflect on moments of wholeheartedness in our lives. These are the times when we are most present, most connected, and most alive. These are also the times when we can glimpse the fullness and glory of God.

What do you understand wholeheartedness to be? It often feels like an unattainable state, especially in this fallen world. In this conversation, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen break down their experiences with becoming more wholehearted: the desire for its joy, the shame that often prevents us from embracing it, and the simple practices in which we can have an embodied, intentional movement toward Shalom.

In the third and final episode of our Sexual Abuse series, Dan and Rachael are joined by theologian Dr. Chelle Stearns. They discuss a difficult, and often controversial, topic of the ways in which Jesus fully took on humanity with all of its vulnerability, humiliation, and shame in order to suffer with us in those dark places and then bring redemption to them. Please note: This is a sensitive topic and you may want to use discretion if you are listening with younger listeners.

In the second episode of our series about sexual abuse, Dan and Rachael are joined by Linda Royster, licensed therapist and teaching staff at The Allender Center. Linda defines supremacy and the misuse of power as it relates to sexual abuse, violence, and racism, and how it is in direct opposition to true Shalom.

Many of us encounter pornography at some point in our lives - often, our first exposure is during adolescence. Whether we encountered pornography intentionally or not, it is a form of sexual abuse that can lead to shame and a distorted view of our own desire. In an effort to stop living at war with our desire, and to redeem it, we need to understand our own sexual abuse stories. This week, we're joined by Jay Stringer, a licensed mental health counselor, ordained minister, and author of the award-winning book "Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing." @jay_stringer_'s passion is to equip the church with resources to change the conversation on sexual brokenness. He shares with us some stories that can help us examine our own stories as we move towards redemption.

We were honored to sit down for a conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, best-selling author and renowned Enneagram authority. In this conversation hosted by Dan and Rachael, @ianmorgancron shares how to use the Enneagram to push past old, stale stories and unlock inner power for both spiritual and personal growth. In this episode, you'll gain new insight about how to rewrite broken narratives and step into becoming your authentic self.

Are you ever officially "done" parenting your child when they become an adult? Listen to this insightful and playful conversation between this week's guest, Amanda Christian, and her dad - Dr. Dan Allender.

As an adult child, you have a very different relationship with your parents than you did in your youth. If we are given the privilege of having a relationship with our parents as they age, how does that relationship evolve in order for us to engage with them and care for them? Listen as Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen speak from their generational perspectives about the relationship between adult children and their parents throughout the aging process.

We have all experienced some degree of trauma in our lives. If you're married or partnered, you need to have a trauma informed partnership to be mindful of how our trauma stories and narratives impact our relationship. In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender are joined by Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call to share their experiences in addressing personal trauma in the context of marriage.

Many of us live in these "false Edens," a space of being blissfully unaware that there is pain, heartache, and trauma which we must confront. When we consciously choose to engage our own stories and deconstruct these "false Edens" in which we're living, we can move more freely into our calling to find true redemption on the other side.Who better than to discuss this with us than this week's podcast guest, Cary Umhau? Author, speaker, activist, and advocate for those facing homelessness and hunger, Cary knows what it is to step out of the constructs of her life into living what she calls a "spacious life." Listen as Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel, co-authors of "Redeeming Heartache," speak with Cary Umhau, author of "Burning Down the Fireproof Hotel" and find parallels between their work and their stories.

This week, Cathy Loerzel is our impromptu host as she facilitates a conversation between Dan Allender and his friend of nearly five decades, Scotty Smith, a pastor, writer, and consultant. You'll get to listen in on how we can engage our stories as we age and how we can share those stories with others over the years. This conversation might make you feel like you're sitting around a cozy table with close friends; we hope you enjoy it.

During stressful seasons, taking a moment to care for yourself can help your body respond to the stress and find grounding. What does "grounding" mean? It's engaging in practices that bring you back to your body and refocuses your thoughts when you may be experiencing the effects of stress, anxiety, or trauma. Join Jeanette White, the Executive Director of the Allender Center, and Rachel Sanchez, the Manager of the Resilient Leaders Project at @theseattleschool to learn ways to find that moment of care for yourself. We think you're going to love this one.

Change is inevitable, and transitioning through change often holds together two realities: grief for things that have been lost and hope for what lies ahead. How do we navigate these transitions when it feels as if we're wandering through the wilderness? Listen as Dan and Rachael talk with Jon DeWaal of Liminal Space about how we might approach walking through seasons of transition in our lives, one step at a time.

With so many things fighting for our attention, how do we intentionally create space of goodness for ourselves and others? Join us as we contemplate what it means to focus on the things that matter as we begin this new year.

How do we begin to process this past year and look forward to a new year when so many things feel beyond our control? In this special New Year's Day edition, husband and wife duo Dan and Becky Allender discuss establishing rituals and rhythms that can keep us grounded and centered as we enter 2022.

This Christmas day we are taking a break from our regularly scheduled episodes, but wanted to leave you with a reading of Mary's Song, The Magnificat, as a way to celebrate the radical nature of the incarnation and the Advent season.

This season of gift-giving may prompt a myriad of layered feelings: excitement, pressure, anticipation, dread, hope, and inadequacy. How do we give gifts that are truly meaningful and encourage a deeper connection with the recipient? Join Dan and Rachael as they discuss gifting in this special holiday episode.

As we enter the Advent season, Dan and Rachael reflect upon Mary's Magnificat with theologian Dr. Chelle Stearns from the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Join the conversation to consider what it means to let our hearts be open to our own places of ache yet also be open to the invitation to transform in response to this revolutionary idea of "God with us."

As we continue to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of The Allender Center, we have two special guests from The Allender Center team joining Dan and Rachel this week: Linda Royster from the Training and Pastoral Team, and Sam Lee, the Director of Facilitator Development. Linda and Sam candidly share their experiences as BIPOC leaders on The Allender Center team pursuing the work of defining and healing trauma.

Join Dan and Rachael as they explore the intimate relationships we have in our lives now - our spouses, children, roommates and friends - and how we can embrace grief and gratitude to engage with those closest to us.

As we prepare to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, Dan and Rachael continue their discussion on the intersection of grief and gratitude, focussing on how to engage those categories in our families of origin. In this episode, they dive into how to balance these two realities in our stories while we're in a season of family gatherings and celebrations.

Dan and Rachael start a new series on grief and gratitude. In this episode, they outline the importance of being open to grieving in order to be open to true gratitude and the ways our bodies naturally respond in both grief and gratitude.

Dr. J. Derek McNeil, president of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and Cathy Lorezel, Co-founder of The Allender Center join Dan and Rachael for a special anniversary episode. They share some beginning behind-the scenes stories of how The Allender Center was birthed and what drives us to stay in this work in the future.

This week, Dan and Rachael discuss how hiding keeps us from being authentic. Sometimes hiding can be an outright refusal to let others see, and other times, our hiding can be harder to notice. In the episode, Dan and Rachael talk about the ways we hide, how to let others know and see us more, and the freedom that comes with that kind of authenticity.

This week, Dan and Rachel discuss sabotage and its connection to self contempt, which has capacity to ruin communities and lives.

This week, Dan and Rachael discuss scapegoating as a kind of rage that moves into the dehumanization of others. Stemming from contempt and judgement, the topic of scapegoating also brings up the experiences of projection and envy. As they ponder these categories, the ask the question: How do we become aware of our own propensity towards scapegoating and our use of it to escape what we don't want to have to see and own in our own hearts?

What keeps us from engaging well with one another? For the next few weeks on the podcast, Dan and Rachael are going to be debating four categories that prevent us from connecting well, beginning with rage. In a time when people's margins and capacity are thinner than ever, how do we differentiate between rage and anger and how we can attend to our bodies and wellbeing in the midst of someone's rage?

When Cyndi Mesmer agreed to participate in the very first Training Certificate program in 2011 (now Certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level I), she anticipated a laid-back conference where she would gather a few insights and make small talk with other attendees. Instead, what she and fellow facilitator Scott Gibson encountered would change the course of their lives, relationships, and therapeutic practices. So today on the podcast, as we continue to celebrate 10 years of The Allender Center, Dan and Rachael engage Cyndi and Scott in conversation about how they first came to be involved with The Allender Center and why they've remained, how engaging their own stories and the stories of others impact their practices and relationships, and so much more.

Today on the podcast, Dan and Rachael finish a conversation on spiritual and sexual abuse by discussing the impact of these types of abuse and ways we can begin to find healing. They acknowledge that at times it can be difficult to distinguish between the two, determine which came first, or how they affect the other, which is to be expected—these abuses are complex and nuanced. As you listen to the episode, can you begin to wonder: How can you begin to heal, to enter your story and honor your body without causing more harm to yourself?

In this episode, Dan and Rachael begin to talk about the connections between sexual and spiritual abuse. Sexual abuse is also spiritual abuse, but not all spiritual abuse involves clear sexual abuse. They discuss the nuances, definitions, and processes of these two types of abuse and the intimate connection between our bodies as image-bearers of our Creator and the violation that occurs when someone commits abuse against another. We enter into this episode knowing the topics of spiritual and sexual abuse carry a certain kind of heaviness for many of our listeners. Particularly in this season, please tend kindly to your body and know that you can return to listen another time if this is not right for you today.

What goes into the creation of a book? In this special episode, we take a deep dive into the making of Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel's new release, Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling. Special guest host Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President & Provost of The Seattle School, Dan, and Cathy discuss how the idea for the book came to be, the process and challenges of writing a book together, particularly in the midst of COVID, and the prophetic nature of the content. As they close the conversation, Derek poses a poignant question to Dan and Cathy—and to us all: What does it mean to celebrate our own stories?

No story is without its share of joy, anticipation, trials, and victories, and the same can be said about the founding of The Allender Center. This year we are celebrating 10 years as a center and place where people have found healing from trauma. It has been an immense honor to be able to hear and walk with you through your stories of harm into restoration. Today, Dan and Rachael share memories and tales with Becky Allender and Jeanette White, Interim Senior Director, both former guests of the podcast and founding members of The Allender Center. You'll get to hear true behind-the-scenes stories of how The Allender Center came to be and what drives them to continue this work today.

For the final episode in our series on engaging stories, Dan and Rachael talk with therapist, podcast host, and Allender Center facilitator, Adam Young. Many of you may be familiar with Adam from his podcast, "The Place We Find Ourselves," and throughout this conversation you'll begin to hear more about Adam's story and how a life-altering encounter with his father set him on a path to become a mental health counselor. Follow along as Dan and Rachael engage his story by asking key questions, from how he experiences beauty to how he lives as someone attuned to and in the middle of the trauma around him. Listener Resources: Learn more about Adam and his podcast "The Place We Find Ourselves" Curious about pursuing your own story work? Learn more about and apply to Story Workshop—applications due September 20, 2021

Listener Resources: Learn more about Sue and her counseling practice - susan-cunningham.com Curious about pursuing your own story work? Learn more about and apply to Story Workshop—applications due August 31, 2021: https://theallendercenter.org/event/story-workshop-october-2021/

Today is the start of a series of episodes we've been eagerly waiting to share with you. We're going to be engaging the stories of some of our dear friends and colleagues in order to help you—our listeners— get a better sense for how to look at and read your own story. In this episode, Dan and Rachael talk with Gwen St. John, a therapist and long-time Allender Center facilitator, about how her experience growing up shaped who she is today as someone with high sensitivity, and how this led her to become a "reader of people and the world." Listen closely to the ways Dan and Rachael engage her stories of harm with care and kindness, and how they invite her to stay in her body while recounting these stories. Listener Resources: Do you relate to high sensitivity? Take a quick survey, recommended by Gwen Learn more about Gwen and her counseling practice Curious about pursuing your own story work? Learn more about and apply to Story Workshop—applications due August 31, 2021

We all need space to play: a concentrated period of time that opens the door for the restoration that our hearts and bodies most desperately need. One of the ways Dan, Rachael, and good friend Dr. Steve Call find restoration is through fly fishing. Over the course of this podcast episode, you'll hear both humorous and insightful anecdotes from all three about their various endeavors into fly fishing and, even if you yourself are not energized by fishing, you can't help but be swept up by their delight. And as you listen, ask yourself: Why do we need something that so deeply captivates us? Listener Resources: Listen to the podcast series, "A Summer of Play" Read blog post "It's Summer, Let's Play!" by Robyn Whitaker Listen to podcast episode "Play, Anxiety and Resilience: How to Help Kids in a Pandemic" featuring special guest Dr. Pam Davis