The Allender Center Podcast

This week, we're sifting through some of the "debris" that can hinder people from moving into the healing process in the wake of sexual abuse. Dan and Rachael talk about some of the questions that can keep people feeling stuck and silent: What if I don't remember everything? What if my healing journey affects my loved ones? Shouldn't I just forgive and move on? Can I wait until life isn't so busy? What if facing this feels overwhelming? By acknowledging these barriers, you can start to see a way through. Next week, we'll discuss what's needed to begin the healing journey from past abuse. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse, and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised. Listener Resources: Explore more podcast episodes including: "The Cost of Engaging Stories of Sexual Abuse," "Connections Between Spiritual and Sexual Abuse," and "Bearing Witness to Stories of Sexual Abuse and Racial Trauma." Read: Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan Allender Sign up for the Healing the Wounded Heart Online Course from the Allender Center

In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Vanessa Sadler, a trauma-informed spiritual director and contemplative creative, who brings heartfelt wisdom to the conversation about healing from personal and collective trauma and abuse. Vanessa draws on her unique training in the Enneagram, spiritual direction, and Narrative Focused Trauma Care to explore what spiritual direction truly is (and what it is not). Vanessa highlights the transformative power of spiritual direction as a vital part of the healing journey, helping to renew our spiritual imagination and attachment to God, ourselves, and others. She also shares some contemplative practices and resources that can support this process, which are linked in the show notes below. Listener Resources: Subscribe to NOURISH Daily, a guided journey delivered to your inbox for 30 days, at https://centerfjp.org/nourish/ . Vanessa's recommended reading list includes: Starting Spiritual Direction by John Mabry, Meditations of the Heart by Howard Thurman, and The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner. She also references authors Margaret Gunther and Kaitlin Curtice and therapist Melody Li. Read more about the Lectio Divina, Visio Divina, and the practices of kataphatic and apophatic prayer. Listen to Peace Talks, a podcast hosted by Vanessa Sadler from the Center for Formation, Justice, and Peace. In particular, Vanessa references this episode with Linda Royster and Dan Allender.

Spiritual director and story coach, TJ Poon, sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen to explore the intersection of spiritual formation and White racial identity development. We'll begin by saying that we are approaching this conversation with a deep sense of responsibility and humility, honoring the voices of people of color who have led the way and are aware that two White people are not experts on racism. This is a complex topic and there will be missteps. Even when the conversations are difficult, we at the Allender Center know that the realities of racism and White supremacy cannot be ignored, and we are committed to holding a space to engage them. In today's episode, TJ and Rachael consider how White-bodied people understand their stories, how their stories and spiritual formation have been influenced by systems of Whiteness, and the challenge of feeling anchored and connected to family histories. They also acknowledge that on this journey of personal and collective healing, White people will inevitably need to confront anxiety, shame, and humiliation in their pursuit of restoration, with a commitment to what TJ calls "joyful anti-racist action." We hope you'll join us in this conversation with curiosity, compassion, and courage, understanding that ongoing dialogue, learning, and formation are vital to our work with trauma on behalf of the kingdom of God. We invite you to also listen to: Racial Trauma and White Supremacy Becoming an Anti-Racist, Part One Becoming an Anti-Racist, Part Two The Violence of Marginalization

Parents, this episode is for you! Join Rachael Clinton Chen as she sits down with Jay and Heather Stringer to explore how to talk to your kids about sensitive topics like the body, desire, sex, puberty, and even pornography in ways that are kind and attuned to their needs. Jay and Heather share the importance of parents first exploring their own stories around sexuality, as unresolved issues or patterns in our own upbringing can impact how we approach these conversations with our children. In this episode, you'll find thoughtful discussions on attachment, body image, puberty, sex, and how to navigate challenging subjects like porn and sexting. Instead of having one big, awkward conversation, Jay and Heather suggest having ongoing, age-appropriate chats that feel natural and comfortable. The aim is to empower your kids to feel confident and informed as they learn about their bodies and desires, all within the safety of a loving and supportive environment. If you're looking to change the narrative for your kids around sex and want to create intentional, meaningful conversations, this episode is a great place to start. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sex and sexual development and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

We're back to engage more questions from you, our listeners, about healing from spiritual abuse. In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen, alongside Allender Center Product Manager Melissa Dowell, addresses heartfelt and challenging questions from our community. These questions explore the complexities of bringing spiritual abuse to light, navigating healing as survivors, especially those who have faced backlash for speaking out, and managing the unique struggles of working in a church while dealing with past or present spiritual harm. Thank you to all who submitted questions. This is part of an ongoing conversation, and we are deeply grateful for your willingness to ask questions, listen to this episode, and engage with these issues with us. More resources on spiritual abuse: Listen to this Spotify playlist: Over 20 Podcasts on Spiritual Abuse & Healing from the Allender Center Check out this set of recorded webinars with Rachael Clinton Chen: Confronting Spiritual Abuse and Healing from Spiritual Abuse (with Matthias Roberts) Join the waitlist for the Story Workshop for Spiritual Abuse & Healing, happening May 16-18, 2025.

Join Rachael Clinton Chen for the conclusion of her three-part series, where she offers a candid and heartfelt look at her journey of holistic healing from complex PTSD and anxiety. In this final episode, Rachael explores the surprising aspects of trauma recovery, including how trauma manifests in the body and the often unpredictable nature of the healing process. Building on her previous discussions about the mental and spiritual impacts of trauma, Rachael now turns her focus to the physical aspects of healing. She shares insights from her own experiences with various healing modalities, highlighting what has been effective for her. While this episode is not intended as medical advice, we hope the central message is clear: healing is a continuous journey, full of both challenges and progress, and sometimes requiring revisiting old wounds. We hope this series of heart-to-heart conversations has brought you hope, made you laugh, made you think, and most of all made you feel like you're not alone. Thank you for taking this journey with us. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this series—please email us at [email protected] with your feedback!

This month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. The third and final episode in our summer replay series features Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, and Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call. This was our most-downloaded episode about marriage last year, and there's definitely some wisdom in this conversation. You'll hear how our attachment styles show up within the context of marriage, how to identify and name those attachments, and how to heal in our most intimate relationships. We'll be back next week with an all-new episode! Listener Resources: To learn more about how our stories unfold in our marriages, check out the Marriage Online Course. Listen to more episodes on the topic of marriage and relationships on this curated Spotify playlist: Podcasts on Marriage & Relationships.

This month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. This episode in our summer replay series is a conversation with the amazing Marcie Alvis Walker. You may know Marcie's work from her popular Instagram feed, Black Coffee with White Friends, or her Black-Eyed Stories on Substack. Co-hosted by Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster, this conversation focuses on Marcie's memoir, "Everybody Come Alive," where she reflects on the imprint of God, race, and gender growing up in the 70s and 80s. Listener Resources: Pick up your copy of Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays by Marcie Alvis Walker here. Listen to more episodes on the topic of spiritual abuse and healing on this curated Spotify playlist: Podcasts on Racial Trauma & Healing. Read the full transcript of this episode as it originally aired in July 2023.

This month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. This first episode in our summer replay series is a conversation with a dear friend, author, and alumnus of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, Matthias Roberts. Last fall, Matthias joined Dan and Rachael to discuss his latest book, "Holy Runaways." (If you haven't read it yet, we recommend that you add it to your summer reading list!) Dan and Rachael chatted with Matthias about religious trauma and the hope of moving forward with a commitment to truth, deep listening, and compassion. Listener Resources: Pick up your copy of Holy Runaways by Matthias Roberts here. Listen to more episodes on the topic of spiritual abuse and healing on this curated Spotify playlist: Podcasts on Spiritual Abuse & Healing

We're back with part two of our three-part series with Rachael Clinton Chen, where she candidly shares personal insights from her own journey of holistically healing from complex PTSD and anxiety, and the things she didn't expect when healing from trauma. In this episode, Rachael explores how trauma disrupts not only our mental and physical well-being but also our spiritual formation and imagination. Rachael reflects on her own healing journey, navigating the ways in which early spiritual experiences compounded her trauma by framing symptoms as moral failings. From the heart-wrenching lows to the moments so absurd they bring laughter, and every breakthrough in between, we hope this series of heart-to-heart conversations will bring you hope, make you laugh, make you think, and most of all make you feel like you're not alone. Stay tuned for Part 3, which will be released on August 2.

Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth, prolific artists, writers, and co-founders of Art House America, join Dan in this podcast episode to discuss their life, work, and recent book, "Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much." In their latest book, Charlie and Andi have written a collection of letters to Christians and spiritual seekers who think deeply and care acutely about the state of the world and their personal spheres of influence. Each of these letters is a gentle nudge in the direction of God's powerfully ordinary purpose for each of us, no matter what the future holds, to participate fully in the beautiful, redemptive work of Christ. Our conversation touches on the importance of hospitality, the need to recapture the imagination, and the shared journey of navigating a chronic illness. In the midst of facing significant challenges and the ebb and flow of busy times and moments of slowing down, this discussion highlights a steadfast commitment to living a life filled with beauty, creativity, and faith. Be sure to check out "Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt" by Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth, now available anywhere books are sold.

On this first day of summer, we're reflecting on the complexities and emotional challenges of scheduling and managing time. Why does managing our schedules often feel so stressful, chaotic, and even triggering? The episode begins with Rachael admitting: "I'm laughing at how we on the Allender Center Podcast could take a topic like scheduling and dive into the deep recesses of the complexity of it." The truth is that scheduling is not just about logistics and managing time, but also about dealing with deeper issues like desire, grief, hope, and connection. The seemingly simple act of arranging our days can bring to the surface feelings of loss, as we confront the limits of what we can realistically accomplish. It can reveal our deepest desires, highlighting what we prioritize and what we long to make time for. Our schedules can also be a source of hope, as we plan for future events and possibilities, and a reflection of our need for connection, as we coordinate our time with others. Join us for what we hope is a relatable conversation on how we navigate this common aspect of life, recognizing the emotional layers beneath the surface of our calendars and to-do lists.

Please note that this episode contains discussions of sex, and mentions sensitive topics like sexual assault, rape, and misogyny. Listener discretion is advised. Do you remember "the talk?" Maybe you never had one… or wish yours had gone differently. This week, we're pleased to talk to friend, therapist, writer, and NFTC alumni Sam Jolman, MA, LPC, about his new book, "The Sex Talk You Never Got," which was just released this week. In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness. In this new book, Sam helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire. "The Sex Talk You Never Got" by Sam Jolman was just released on June 11, and is available wherever books are sold.

We're pleased to bring you a new, three-part series this summer from Rachael Clinton Chen, where she candidly shares personal insights from her own journey of holistically healing from complex PTSD and anxiety, and the things she didn't expect when healing from trauma. In the first episode of this series, Rachael shares some of her earliest memories of contending with anxiety as a child, how she managed it, and what eventually drove her to begin to seek help. From the heart-wrenching lows to the moments so absurd they bring laughter, and every breakthrough in between, we hope this series of heart-to-heart conversations will bring you hope, make you laugh, make you think, and most of all make you feel like you're not alone. Stay tuned for Part 2, which will be released on July 5.

Story is how we make meaning as humans. Stories help us shape our identity and influence our perception of God. Our stories also are revelatory; they reveal something of the nature of God in a way that nothing else does. If you're curious about why we talk so much about story here at the Allender Center - or if you've heard it before and need a gentle reminder - this episode will help you reflect on the role of story and how your story connects with the story of God.

We believe that we are made for honor. We're made to be known, to be seen, and to be delighted in. But along the way, the joy of being honored somehow gets distorted. Shame, envy, or exploitation often tarnish our encounters with honor. As a result, many of us either shy away from it or diminish its significance. Alternatively, many of us may find ourselves chasing a counterfeit version of honor, pursuing attention, affirmation, wealth, or status. Why does receiving honor often evoke discomfort within us? Today, Dan and Rachael explore the essence of our relationship with honor — uncovering the underlying reasons behind our unease and highlighting the honor and glory we are all meant for.

Do you ever feel stuck in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions or negative thoughts? Dr. Alison Cook, therapist and host of "The Best of You" podcast, joins Rachael Clinton Chen to explore the intricacies of navigating emotions. Her latest book, I Shouldn't Feel This Way, offers practical strategies and a transformative 3-step framework to navigate difficult emotions and find more clarity. Whether you're grappling with past wounds, conflicting emotions, or seeking more connection with yourself and God, we hope this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement to support you on your journey towards emotional freedom.

In Romans, we're encouraged to renew our minds, but what does that really mean? Can we just think our way to healing? Today, Dan and Rachael dive into the fascinating world of mind-body renewal. They discuss how relying solely on our thoughts for healing has its limitations and propose a more holistic approach that considers the polyvagal system—a fascinating network that regulates our nervous system. Referencing Romans 12:2, they stress the importance of going beyond just thinking differently, recognizing the deep connection between our bodies, minds, and spirits. Dan explains the three stress states of the polyvagal system—ventral vagal, sympathetic activation, and dorsal vagal shutdown—and how disruptions can skew our perception of reality and impact our relationships. You'll also discover some practical techniques to help regulate the polyvagal system and clear your mind. By the end of this episode, we hope you'll gain a deeper understanding of renewal—one that embraces not only our thoughts but also our physical and spiritual well-being.

In our fourth and final episode of conversations with Narrative Focused Trauma Care alumni, we have the privilege of speaking with Rev. Mike Boland about the profound influence of his training and work in NFTC on both his personal life and ministry. In the shadow of childhood abuse, Mike found himself trapped in what he describes as a perpetual "Groundhog Day" cycle. While he managed to get by, true healing remained elusive. However, the cycle was disrupted when he became a parent, prompting him to seek help to address his past traumas and strive to become the kind of parent he aspired to be. This pivotal disruption led him to work with a skilled therapist who introduced him to the work of the Allender Center. Though his journey towards healing was tumultuous and marked with anger, Mike pressed on with courage. His desire for growth led him to participate in a Men's Recovery Week and eventually complete Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level III training, ultimately becoming a Facilitator with the Allender Center. We hope that this four-part series of candid conversations has inspired you and sparked your imagination regarding the possibilities of healing, both for yourself and others. Our aim has been to offer you a glimpse into the profound impact of embracing the life-changing experience of Narrative Focused Trauma Care. Learn more about NFTC training at theallendercenter.org/trainings Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse, including childhood sexual abuse, and is intended for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.

Today, Dan and Rachael are chatting with Petra Malekzadeh, who is the Narrative Focused Trauma Care Facilitator Training Coordinator at the Allender Center, as well as an Instructor and Advisor. She also led a thriving story group ministry at her church for several years before joining us. You'll hear about what drew her to the work of the Allender Center and, in particular, the work that she has done to understand the role of shame and step into a more fullness. We invite you to chat with Petra at our upcoming NFTC Level I Coffee Hour on May 8. If you have questions about NFTC training, how the program works, and how it can benefit your work, Petra is the perfect person to connect with. Sign up for this free coffee hour at theallendercenter.org/events. This is the third of our 4-part series where we're inviting you to join us in listening to real stories from those who've gone through Narrative Focused Trauma Care training with the Allender Center. Through candid conversations with these remarkable individuals, our goal is to give you a glimpse into the profound impact of saying yes to this life-changing experience. Learn more about NFTC training at theallendercenter.org/trainings

After leading a marriage ministry in a large church and successfully launching their children into the world, Mark and Michelle Hollingsworth found themselves facing the unexpected collapse of their 24-year marriage. In the aftermath, they began a quest to find healing and more understanding. As they searched for support in their church and friend community but still felt very alone. Mark said, "People didn't know what to do with us." So as they navigated their own healing process, they also had the courage to imagine how they could support others experiencing similar heartbreak, creating spaces for healing that they themselves had struggled to find. Inspired by Michelle's experience at a Story Workshop, the couple pursued Narrative Focused Trauma Care (NFTC) training together. Both Mark and Michelle completed NFTC Level II training with the Allender Center, and they now offer coaching and story groups for other couples through The Soul Reserve. Michelle says, "We just want people to know that we can be really good people that are really broken - and we can fight for each other's goodness" This is the second of our 4-part series where we're inviting you to join us in listening to real stories from those who've gone through Narrative Focused Trauma Care training with the Allender Center. Through candid conversations with these remarkable individuals, our goal is to give you a glimpse into the profound impact of saying yes to this life-changing experience.

We're kicking off a 4-part series where we're inviting you to join us in listening to real stories from those who've gone through Narrative Focused Trauma Care training with the Allender Center. Through candid conversations with these remarkable individuals, our goal is to give you a glimpse into the profound impact of saying yes to this life-changing experience. First up, we're chatting with Stasi Eldredge. Stasi is a multifaceted individual - an author, speaker, and integral part of the leadership team at Wild at Heart. She'll take us through the moment she felt compelled to join an NFTC training cohort, driven by a desire for healing and a deeper connection with God. Stasi reflects on how confronting past traumas reshaped her, moving from a sense of being weighed down by old wounds to discovering freedom and compassion within those painful memories through encounters with Jesus. To learn more about Narrative Focused Trauma Care training, we invite you to visit theallendercenter.org/trainings

We're pleased to welcome Aundi Kolber back to the podcast to chat with Rachael Clinton Chen about healing from trauma and finding compassion in the journey towards true flourishing. Aundi, a licensed professional counselor and author, shares her deeply personal journey of creating the "Strong like Water Guided Journey: A Compassionate Path to True Flourishing." This resource, born amidst her own experiences of grief and trauma, offers a warm and compassionate approach to healing. Throughout the discussion, Aundi emphasizes the importance of compassionate resourcing and body-centered practices in the journey of trauma recovery. She beautifully highlights the paradoxical nature of healing, where strength and vulnerability intertwine, and extends an invitation to listeners to soften and rest amidst life's challenges. We hope you'll check out Aundi's recently-released "Strong Like Water Guided Journey," available wherever books are sold.

We often spend time reflecting on how our family of origin shapes our stories. But today, we're turning our attention to another important part of who we are, both personally and collectively: our church family history. This week, we are honored to host The Rev. Dr. Jennifer Powell McNutt, a distinguished church historian, professor, and author. Dr. McNutt serves as the Franklin S. Dyrness Associate Professor of Biblical and Theological Studies at Wheaton College and is the co-author, alongside David W. McNutt, of the upcoming book, "Know the Theologians." Given the challenges and controversies within the church today, it's crucial to understand the relevance of our church family history. Jennifer, Dan, and Rachael highlight the need to learn from both the successes and failures of past generations and to recognize God's faithfulness throughout history. While learning about church history might seem intimidating at first, it's incredibly valuable in understanding our Christian tradition and where we're headed together. We hope this conversation inspires you to do your own exploration of the influences of this unique "family tree." Jennifer will return later this year to continue this conversation. In the meantime, we encourage you to explore her new book, "Know the Theologians," available April 2 at bookstores everywhere.

*Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and sexual activity, and is intended for adult audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.* Linda Royster and Sue Cunningham join Dan Allender to discuss the transformative impact of Recovery Weeks. Recovery Week is a holistic experience designed to create a relational, healing space for survivors to explore and engage the impact of their stories of sexual abuse. The Allender Center offers a Men's Recovery Week, a Women's Recovery Week, and a Women's Recovery Week with a Focus on Racial Trauma & Healing for Women of Color. With extensive involvement in Women's Recovery Weeks for many years, Linda and Sue, along with Vanessa Sadler, are leading this year's inaugural Women's Recovery Week with a Focus on Racial Trauma and Healing. Reflecting on her initial experience as the sole Woman of Color in attendance, Linda shares how profoundly impactful the healing experience was, sparking her desire to create a dedicated space addressing the intersectionality of sexual abuse and racial trauma for Women of Color. An important aspect of this Recovery Week is the acknowledgment of how women of color may carry the shame of trauma differently. Linda emphasizes understanding the reality of identity and how it informs the response to the harm suffered within both the community and the larger context. This unique identity informs questions about whether care will be available and whether spaces will be made accessible for women who hold certain identities. This aspect of the work during the Recovery Week aims to recognize and honor these differences, ensuring that care is accessible and tailored to the needs of Women of Color. For those curious about the essence of a Recovery Week, this episode offers a glimpse into the healing processes and profound connections forged during these events. You'll hear firsthand about how participants engage in intimate conversations exploring their healing journey, confronting the challenges of shame and betrayal, and celebrating the beauty of finding belonging and mutual support through bearing witness to each other's stories. If you'd like more information about Recovery Weeks with the Allender Center, please visit theallendercenter.org/workshops.

This week's conversation dives into a difficult but essential topic: addressing past experiences of sexual abuse. We understand the weightiness of this subject and approach it with sensitivity and care. At the Allender Center, this work is central to our mission, and while it's undeniably challenging, we've also witnessed its profound goodness. Our journey toward healing doesn't involve bypassing the pain but rather moving through it. Dan and Rachael navigate the complexities of addressing sexual abuse, acknowledging the costs - both internal and external - that survivors face. They compassionately explore the impact trauma has on the body, relationships, and spirituality. Rachael eloquently expresses the intricate nature of this process, recognizing the need to navigate the debris of past harm while holding space for the potential for growth and beauty. The conversation extends to the ripple effects on relationships, including disruptions within familial, marital, and friendship dynamics. Dan emphasizes the importance of having supportive allies who understand the complexities of the healing journey, even as it may challenge existing relational dynamics. In the spiritual realm, Rachael and Dan delve into the complexities of wrestling with faith in the aftermath of sexual abuse. They bravely confront questions and doubts about God's role in suffering while also acknowledging the possibility of deepened intimacy and connection with the divine. We invite you to find solace, insights, and encouragement in this discussion. We recognize the immense courage it takes to embark on a journey of healing and restoration. It is our firm belief that it's possible to reclaim your identity and discover hope amidst the pain. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse, as well as brief explicit language that may be offensive to some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.

In this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Linda Royster and Wendell Moss lead a profound discussion on the intricate dynamics of trauma, resilience, and the transformative role of community healing, particularly in the context of racial trauma. They discuss the profound impact of both personal and collective trauma, recognizing its reverberations across communities. They highlight the importance of not just surviving, but actively processing and learning from one's experiences. Conversely, they discuss how unhealthier forms of resilience, such as avoidance or denial of one's trauma, may actually impede the healing process. A poignant theme emerges as they emphasize the significance of facing one's story with courage and vulnerability, rather than turning away from it. They point out that resilience is not merely surviving but actively engaging with one's narrative and inviting others into that process. If you'd like to hear more from Linda and Wendell, we invite you to explore the Racial Trauma & Healing offerings from the Allender Center at theallendercenter.org/racial-trauma-and-healing . There you'll find a free informational video series and details about our upcoming Story Workshop for Racial Trauma & Healing and our new Women's Recovery Week with a Focus on Racial Trauma & Healing, both happening this spring.

What exactly is Narrative Focused Trauma Care? It's grounded in the belief that healing is not only possible but also essential to the unfolding gospel story within and around us. This holistic approach integrates psychology and theology to holistically engage the heartbreaking impact of trauma and abuse with compassion and care through story. The Allender Center specializes in training people to understand their own stories in order to more deeply enter the lives of those they are called to love and serve. We come alongside to equip and develop skills for wading into the difficult waters of heartache, trauma, and abuse. The foundations of Narrative Focused Trauma Care are unpacked in Level I training, where you'll explore your own narratives and those of others, with the ultimate goal of moving towards healing – for yourself, your relationships, and the broader community, paving the way for future generations In this episode, Dan and Rachael will lead us through the four intensive weekends of Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level I training, offering insights into what participants can expect and some of the transformative experiences that wait for you. Dan emphasizes, "We want people to imagine in the small and in whatever ways they are drawn to dream, to begin to move into… better trauma care through story and ultimately the story of Jesus." Be sure to catch the first part of this two-part conversation where we go deeper into the "why" behind Narrative Focused Trauma Care.

We believe that healing, wholeness, connection, and flourishing are not just possibilities - it's what we're made for. We're meant to know and to be known. Join Dan and Rachael as they guide you through a profound exploration of Narrative Focused Trauma Care and its theological roots. This conversation shares some of the "why" behind our healing and training offerings at the Allender Center. They delve into the Genesis narrative, illuminating the intersection between beauty and brokenness, tracing the shattering of shalom, and recognizing the lasting impact of trauma. Dan introduces the concept of "already and not yet," framing salvation as a journey encompassing past, present, and future. The conversation emphasizes the intricate interplay between brokenness and beauty, acknowledging humanity's struggle to find connection amidst trauma. Get ready for an insightful exploration that will deepen your understanding of Narrative Focused Trauma Care and its theological foundations, as we journey together toward healing and hope. Be sure to join us next week to unpack the specifics of Narrative Focused Trauma Care and the training process involved in this holistic approach.

Forming new, meaningful adult friendships or maintaining friendships throughout different seasons of life can be challenging. Can you really be friends with coworkers or the other parents at your kids' soccer games? And how do you tell if someone's just an acquaintance or a true friend? What makes a friendship strong? How can you tell if you're a good friend and if someone's a good friend to you? Dan and Rachael take a look at the joy, depth, and sometimes messy beauty of genuine connections between people. From shared purposes to meaningful conversations and navigating conflicts with grace, they explore the essential ingredients of true friendship.

"Everyone's disciplined for what they love," states Dr. Dan Allender. The quest for becoming "more disciplined" prompts questions about motivation. Is it fueled by a higher purpose or overshadowed by shame and guilt? Does discipline revolve around self-control or simply a desire for control? What are the costs of being disciplined - and what goodness results from it? In their discussion, Dan and Rachael dive into these questions and more. They explore the complexities of discipline, the significance of small disciplined actions, and the sustaining power of delight and beauty.

This week, Dr. J. Derek McNeil, the president of The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, engages in a candid dialogue with Dr. Dan Allender, exploring the multifaceted challenges of leading in today's turbulent times. Whether you hold a formal leadership role or not, this conversation speaks to the universal nature of leadership. Whether as a parent, grandparent, or friend, each of us has a level of influence on others and grapples with the burden of providing guidance amid uncertainty. The conversation explores the tension between agency and dependence, and the balancing act of taking action and surrendering to a larger divine plan. Derek candidly shares his journey, grappling with the uncertainties of life while prioritizing his mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Drawing from his upbringing and faith tradition, he finds solace in scripture, particularly Jeremiah 29:11, during moments of uncertainty and despair. His emphasis on cultivating a support system and fostering collaboration underscores the importance of community in leadership roles. As you engage with this conversation between two insightful leaders, we hope it deepens your understanding of the complexities of leadership and sparks a sense of renewed hope amid life's uncertainties.

Join Dan and Rachael as they continue last week's discussion about spiritual abuse. This week, they shift their focus to the healing process, exploring the challenges of naming and reconciling our experiences with spiritual abuse, particularly the difficulty in trusting others with our stories. Spiritual abuse casts a shadow, creating a landscape of distrust, fragmentation, and isolation, often cutting us off from the very thing that can help us heal - one another. Drawing from years of conducting Story Workshops, Dan and Rachael underscore the transformative power found in the collective sharing of our stories. It is this understanding that has led to the creation of the Story Workshop for Spiritual Abuse & Healing, which is designed to serve as a safe space for sharing, grieving, and hopefully, discovering more of the goodness of God within your own story. If you've felt the impact of spiritual abuse and are seeking a supportive, facilitated community to navigate the healing process, consider joining this transformative Story Workshop, happening March 15-17, 2024. You can learn more at theallendercenter.org/workshops

As we prepare for our upcoming Story Workshop for Spiritual Abuse & Healing, Dan and Rachael return to discuss to the insidious issue of spiritual abuse and the broken systems that perpetuate this type of harm. As many systems around us are crumbling, we hear story after story about overt abuse and misuse of power in high-profile churches and ministries. We also know that spiritual abuse can manifest across a spectrum, with some individuals perpetrating harm knowingly, while others may unknowingly be influenced by the systems they are part of, operating with good intentions or lacking awareness of subtle forms of spiritual abuse. Listen to learn how to recognize some of the subtleties of spiritual abuse – and also consider how to lean in as we personally and collectively seek redemption. Knowing that every system bears some brokenness, the question becomes: how do we participate? Can we actively seek healing and redemption without giving in to cynicism? Join us next week for a follow-up to today's conversation. If you have experienced spiritual abuse in your own life, we invite you to join us for the upcoming Story Workshop for Spiritual Abuse & Healing. Registration is now open at theallendercenter.org/events.

Containment is both something that we need to receive and it's something that we can provide for others in our roles as parents, spouses, friends, and members of a greater community - particularly during challenging times. Containment is not about control or maintaining the status quo; instead, it involves creating a safe space for others to express emotions and navigate difficulties. The concept of containment is closely tied to attunement, which means being aware of others' needs and understanding our own capacity as well. If you've heard about these concepts but want a deeper understanding and practical implementation in your life, we hope this episode offers you an insightful introduction. Listener Resources: To take a deeper dive into the concepts of containment, attunement, and attachment theory in your own life, particularly as they relate to your family of origin, and learn to provide spaces of containment and healing for others, we recommend enrolling in the Story Sage Series online course from the Allender Center. If you're a visual learner, we also recommend checking out Lindsay Braman's article and stunning sketchnotes which wonderfully explain the concepts of containment and attunement.

As we step into 2024, the global landscape presents us with profound challenges – from conflicts in Palestine and Israel to widespread war, economic disparities, and political divisions. Add to this mix the heightened levels of anxiety and rage permeating our society, all unfolding against the backdrop of an election year here in the U.S. In the midst of this complexity, how do we navigate our growing personal and collective anxiety, and can it be an opportunity for us to live more fully according to the gospel? To explore these questions, we're honored to welcome back Curtis Chang, the author of "The Anxiety Opportunity" and co-author of "The After Party," as our first guest of the year. Curtis chats with us about how engaging with our own anxiety and that of others can pave the way for more restorative conversations and offer more hope as we look into the year ahead. Join us for this enlightening conversation to learn more about Curtis's work with his latest project, "The After Party," in today's episode. If you missed our previous discussion with Curtis last spring, you can catch it here.

It's become an annual tradition for Dan and Becky Allender to reflect on their year on the podcast, and today, we get to hear their personal reflections on 2023. They discuss the loss of dear friends this year, the fragility of life, the heartache of crises happening around the world, and the impact of disappointment on some of their personal plans and dreams. In the midst of grief, they also express gratitude for the goodness they have experienced this year. As we listen, themes of simplicity, aging, and the awareness of life's brevity emerge. The Allenders discuss the need for kindness and grace in facing disappointment and the importance of not succumbing to fear, leaving us with hope as we look forward to the new year.

As you anticipate and prepare for your holiday feast, we invite you to pull up a seat at our table to discuss the rich sensuality of the aromas, flavors, and sounds that are embedded in the festive season. Joining us for this discussion is Lauren Peiser, the Manager of Partnerships at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Today, however, we affectionately dub her our "resident gastronomist" on account of her passion for the enjoyment of good food and drink. This conversation not only explores the pleasure of a good meal but also delves into the theological aspects of the table and our relationship with food, drink, and the company of others. We hope you enjoy this delightful conversation as much as we did. Merry Christmas, friends.

Looking for a good book to curl up with this winter? Dan and Rachael both highly recommend the new book by today's guest, Blaine Eldredge: "The Paradise King." The book is a unique exploration of Jesus through the Old Testament and into the New, blending historical fiction with a deep engagement with the biblical text. Blaine joins us today to discuss the inspiration behind the book, sharing a personal journey marked by challenges and loss. The book and our discussion serve as an open invitation to embark on an exploration of wonder, curiosity, and the transformative power of storytelling. You can find "The Paradise King" at your favorite bookstores, and don't miss our enlightening episode with Blaine Eldredge.

You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, "It is time to listen to your story." What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on—and engaging—the experiences in your growing-up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. These are the topics that Dan Allender, Cathy Loerzel, and Adam Young explore in today's bonus podcast episode, which is a co-production between The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast and the Allender Center Podcast. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join Adam, Cathy, and Dan in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday, February 3, 2024, for the StoryWork Conference. In-person and livestream tickets are available. CEU's are also available for therapists. 🎫 Register at adamyoungcounseling.com

What's the best present you've ever gotten? And what's the present you were the most proud to give? Join Dan and Rachael in today's episode as they explore the nuances of gift-giving during the Christmas season. They share insights into their personal approaches to selecting and presenting gifts for their loved ones, while also navigating the complexities of holiday expectations, addressing grief and heartache that can come up, and emphasizing the importance of self-honoring. The conversation extends beyond material presents to the importance of "presence" – both in relationships and in connection with the divine during the holiday season.

As they anticipate the upcoming Advent season, Dan and Rachael take a moment to look back, sharing their distinct perspectives on Christmas and delving into memories from their childhood associated with the holiday. Whether it's a genuine love for the rituals and traditions or a more somber reflection grounded in challenging past experiences, we're exploring the diverse emotional landscapes that the season can evoke. We invite you to listen as we discuss the role of nostalgia, memory, and location in order to allow for more compassionate and empathetic engagement with ourselves and with others as we navigate the joys and challenges that come with this season.

As we approach a holiday season that's highly focused on food, we're thrilled to be joined by Diane Summers, MS, RDN, CEDS-S, CD, a highly experienced and nationally registered dietitian specializing in the treatment of eating disorders, for an insightful exploration of the multifaceted issue of food insecurity. Drawing on her 19 years of expertise, Diane delves into two essential frameworks through which to understand this critical topic. The first framework begins with a stark reality: 12.8% (17 million households) in the US face food insecurity, with disproportionately higher rates for Black and Hispanic households, as reported by the USDA. Food insecurity is defined here as the uncertainty or inability to acquire enough food due to insufficient funds or resources. This conversation also explores a second framework, inviting us to examine food insecurity through the lens of our culture's pervasive obsession with altering bodies through dieting and restrictive eating. A note to listeners that this conversation does mention disordered eating but does not go into detail. Diane, along with Dan and Rachael, navigate the delicate terrain of recognizing the privilege of having access to enough food while also acknowledging the potentially unhealthy relationships many harbor with food. The discussion touches on the impact of societal norms, trauma associated with growing up in a diet culture, and the subsequent internalization of food as an adversary. This episode provides a thought-provoking and compassionate examination of the complex issue of food insecurity, with insights into the societal, cultural, and personal dynamics involved. Related Resources: Listen to our previous conversation with Diane Summers in Food, Kindness, and Our Bodies Resources cited in this episode: Poverty, by America by Matthew Desmond; USDA Food Security in the U.S. Statistics, 2022

Have you ever wondered if you or a loved one may have adult ADHD? It's estimated that more than 8 million Americans, nearly 5% of the population, are living with this condition – many without even realizing it, as reported by WebMD. While ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition present from birth, it often goes undiagnosed until adulthood. This topic is gaining increasing awareness, and an adult diagnosis can lead to newfound self-awareness, helping individuals shed years of shame and confusion. Joining us as our esteemed guest is Dr. Pam Davis, the Director of Graduate Programs in Counseling at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. Dr. Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor in North Carolina and a Registered Play Therapist Supervisor for the Association of Play Therapy. In this episode, Dr. Davis answers our questions about the symptoms of adult ADHD, the reasons for missed childhood diagnoses, and how to navigate this condition, whether it's within yourself or in your relationships with others. Please note that this episode, like all of our podcast content, is not intended to replace medical advice. If you suspect you may have ADHD, it's advisable to seek professional assessment and treatment options from a healthcare provider.

Trauma is inevitable in a fallen world. It can range from small "t" traumas to capital "T" traumas, but the common thread is the violation of your dignity as a human being. If trauma is inevitable, this means we are all encountering stories of trauma every day - in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. So what are we to do when someone we love or care for is hurting? You might find yourself saying, "I'm so sorry to hear that," but often, it feels like you're not doing enough to truly help. To make a real difference, we must begin by gaining a deeper understanding of the impact of trauma and abuse, starting with our own experiences. If today's conversation strikes a chord with you and you're ready to explore your own trauma stories to better support others with courage and care, we invite you to check out the newly launched Effective Trauma Care Online Course. For more information, visit theallendercenter.org/online-courses

How can we become more capable of repairing our relationships with ourselves, others, and with God? In this episode, Dan and Rachael dive into the concept of repair in both personal and larger societal contexts. They stress the importance of humility in our repair process, introducing the concept of "epistemic humility" as a way to express love by making space for others. It's a curious approach that acknowledges the limitations of our perspective, which is shaped by our unique experiences. The conversation becomes personal as they reflect on a past publication that may have caused harm and explore how these experiences can be used for growth and repair. By practicing repair with justice, mercy, and humility (Micah 6:8) in our day-to-day personal relationships, we can also begin to address broader societal issues with a similar approach. Rachael closes out this episode with this reminder: "Repair is a core part of what it means to love and be loved." This episode contains brief explicit language that may be offensive to some listeners; discretion is advised.

We're so pleased to be joined by therapist and author Aundi Kolber, known for her acclaimed works "Try Softer" and, most recently, "Strong Like Water." As a licensed professional counselor specializing in trauma- and body-centered therapies, Aundi's expertise is deeply informed by her personal journey of healing from complex childhood trauma. Aundi candidly shares her personal journey of healing, from confronting the profound extent of her past trauma and discovering healing methods that nurture a sense of safety, self-care, and self-compassion. She shares: "Part of my own journey, and I think my writing, I hope, I pray, that the trajectory of my writing is about that to live into these values actually has required me to get softer so I could get stronger." We invite you to join Dan, Rachael, and Aundi on this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast. This episode contains brief explicit language that may be offensive to some listeners; discretion is advised.

When it comes to telling the truth, we grapple with a fundamental tension— we're living in a fallen world as imperfect beings, yet we also recognize and long for the beauty of truth. When it comes to relationships, especially close ones, this tension can become even more complex. The fear of potential consequences often competes with our desire to be honest and authentic. Navigating this path can be tricky. There's a fine line between being authentic and being cruel. What's needed is a generous spirit, an understanding of how much truth we can bear, and kindness. Dan closes the episode with the gentle reminder: "And this is why I keep coming back to Jesus being able to say, I am the way and the truth and the life. And if I'm intending to follow, to be aligned and alive and molded, then I want that way. I want that truth. I want that life. And I'm going to find it not in myself, not in you, but in him, and therefore in me, and you and us. And it just holds the tension that what we dream we will never get, but what we dream we will become."

Ever wondered why we sometimes keep the truth hidden, even from those we love most? Today, we're exploring the intricacies of truth and deceit with questions like: Why do we resort to little white lies? What drives us to withhold the truth? Is keeping a secret ever an act of love? And how do we navigate the weight of truth when it feels unbearable? The humbling reality is that none of us can handle the unfiltered truth all the time and we all have the capacity for deception. How does recognizing our inability to bear the full truth serve us? How can we move toward greater honesty and authenticity, both within ourselves and in our relationships with others? Join Dan and Rachael as they navigate the depths of truth, deception, and the hope that emerges from our quest for more honesty and love.

Join us for an all-new episode of the Allender Center Podcast as we sit down with our dear friend Matthias Roberts, author of the upcoming book "Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion." Matthias, a queer psychotherapist specializing in religious and spiritual trauma, brings a unique perspective to the conversation. His book is a beacon of hope for those who have felt ignored, oppressed, or rejected by their religious communities and churches. It offers a clear path forward, centered on speaking truth, deep listening, and acting with compassion. Join co-hosts Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they engage in a conversation with Matthias about the origins of his latest book, the struggle between staying put and envisioning fresh paths forward, and the unexpected connections between concrete and our faith. Yes, concrete. If you're eager to explore a fresh perspective on faith, healing, and the power of community, this episode is a must-listen. Plus, don't miss Matthias's book, "Holy Runaways," now available for pre-order at https://matthiasroberts.com/holyrunaways/ and coming to bookstores everywhere on October 3rd.