TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew discuss some Skyjinx (woo!) after an airplane with broken toilets had to make an emergency landing in Montana. Luke wonders if the passengers could have just toughed it out. They also talk about expense reports, firmware updates, and cities that begin with the letter A.

Luke and Andrew return to basics with a 90 minute episode covering Luke's love/hate relationship with Alex Trebek, forgotten passwords, and why you shouldn't mix up the words "cathartic" and "catatonic". Plus, two stories of implosions gone wrong, and an accidental conversation about threats to journalism.

Luke and Andrew make TBTL history with the longest episode ever. They get more than a little help from David "The Last Burbank" Burbank and Rudy the Rude Dog. Topics include: An auto-correct mistake that has Luke worried about an email he sent to his boss, a rigorous debate about the movie "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and -- of course -- the Seahawks dominant win in Sunday Night Football.

Luke wants people to stop booing him on stage, but he doesn't know what to do about it, and Andrew is ZERO HELP. They also discuss another case of a mystery "Mad Pooper" who's terrorizing Orchard Park, NY. Budweiser is working with the International Space Station so someday we can drink beer on Mars. And it's Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew learn about a "picky eating" disorder that makes Andrew's issues with food seem almost normal. Meanwhile, Luke is trying to start a fight with the Kronos Quartet for some reason.

Luke and Andrew talk about the firing of Garrison Keillor and about other recent allegations against men abusing their power. It's an usually serious conversation for TBTL, but it's not all bad news: Luke's also got a gross new food he wants to tell you about, and Andrew is trying to create an alliance with one of his neighbors.

Luke discovers that he's been playing Monopoly wrong his entire life, and that you might be, too. Andrew is dealing with some in-app-purchase regret. And we hear from a listener who was the victim of an unlocked bathroom door.

Andrew's almost-perfect Thanksgiving was tarnished by a cat emergency that remains somewhat mysterious. Luke has an aggressive new plan to lose weight fast! And David Burbank (AKA "The Last Burbank", AKA "Luke's Real Brother") joins them to talk Seahawks, Browns and the Apple Cup in this week's No Point Conversion.

Luke and Andrew - with a little help from the officially unofficial TBTL archivist - trace back the origins of Luke's laser baldness helmet.

Japan's #1 Mixer Sean DeTore swings by the kitchens of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to help the gang create a very questionable Thanksgiving dish and to share stories of their biggest culinary disasters.

Luke and Andrew dive deep into the sewers to review the 1990 film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Today's episode is part of our annual #PODCRAWL with our friends at Read It And Weep and The Flop House podcasts.

Andrew is dealing with some pre-Thanksgiving anxiety, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have advice for you regarding paper towels. He and Luke also compare notes on obsessive cleaning, unisex bathroom experiences, and why the pizza guy won't put black olives on Luke's dang pizza! Plus, David "The Last Burbank" Burbank joins the show to discuss the Seahawk's frustrating defeat in No Point Conversion.

Luke and Carey swing by the law studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to talk about iron lungs, Luke's latest skateboarding heroics, and why Netflix is making people cry in public. Also, Luke and Carey met Abraham Lincoln last week. For real.

Andrew shares his experiences after a follow-up visit to The Tongue Doctor. Luke drops some mad knowledge about Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. And since it's Friday, we have Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew try to think up cool new mascot names for a Utah high school, and they visit with Brendan Francis Newnam from "The Dinner Party Download." Oh, and stick around for Luke's Billy-Corgan-Related-Radio-Interviewing Rabbit Hole buried at the end of the show.

In light of the "PodFast" trend, Luke and Andrew listen to TBTL at various speeds to see if it ever becomes listenable. Also, after much consideration, Luke decides not to walk in Ric Flair's footsteps.

Andrew launches a new Twitter project while Luke battles a NyQuil hangover. Also, it turns out that Luke's troublesome guest on stage this weekend was even more trouble backstage.

Luke and Andrew witnessed an unusual altercation in a Chicago bar, and they leave no delicious detail untold. Plus, Luke's onstage interview with a very famous actor was....difficult.

Luke's favorite doctor/columnist/over-achiever claims that airlines should stop handing out cocktail napkins. Andrew couldn't disagree more. Plus, after day two of their public radio conference, Andrew realizes that he talks much too much. And, in a Friday edition of No Point Conversion, Luke wonders if Thursday Night Football is bad for NFL players.

Luke and Andrew are in Chicago for a public radio conference, and they're off to a rocky start. Luke is crippled with insecurity, and Andrew is crippled with a wounded tongue that just won't heal.

Andrew is back, with harrowing tales from the doctor's office (with some special musical accompaniment.) Luke is not thrilled with Twitter's new, expanded character limit. And it turns out that wine Luke was drinking yesterday....? It wasn't wine.

Andrew takes the day off, so Luke goes wild in New York City with his discount wines and, as the show title might indicate, his meatless salads.

Luke just landed in New York Jersey, and boy are his arms tired. He and Andrew discuss the neighbor who assaulted Rand Paul (Luke's got a theory on what caused that confrontation.) They also debate whether or not Andrew's new coffee creamer is an indicator of middle age.

Luke swings by the offices of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to talk about the anonymous Twitter employee who deactivated President Trump's account on his way out the door. He and Andrew also discuss the best way to interview a cartoonist on stage in front of a lot of people. And it's Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekenend!

Rico Gagliano joins Luke and Andrew to talk about the final episode of The Dinner Party Download, which will tape in Seattle on November 16th. They also talk about why brunch is bad, but a Bob Dylan animated series would be good. Plus, Luke finds out that he's the recipient of a prestigious award.

We finally hear whether or not Luke and Carey's extremely extensive efforts to attract Trick or Treaters actually paid off. Plus, a TBTL conspiracy involving Chris Hayes has Luke and Andrew questioning every aspect of their perceived realities.

It's the 2017 TBTL Halloween Spooktacular! Parts of today's show also aired on Seattle public radio last night, and Luke and Andrew received some....let's say "strong" feedback this morning. Plus, as is tradition, they listen back to Dave Boze's real-life horror story as he told it to Luke and Jen 10 years ago.

Luke broke his face this weekend, but not how you think. He explains how he tried to hide the damage. Plus, Andrew quizzes him (with help from the New York Times) on holiday travel hacks. And they look back on an unusually exciting weekend of football in No Point Conversion. (Oh, also, the show is like two-and-a-half hours long. So buckle up, and drink plenty of water.)

Luke joins the show from Chicago, where he ate four hotdogs FOR HIS JOB yesterday. Andrew's fine with that. They also discuss a report that says Luke shouldn't try to think big thoughts while he's jogging, but Andrew's not having it. And it's Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Nick "No Nickname" Jarin swings by TBTL to talk Andrew through a significant life change. Plus, Patton Oswalt reacts PERFECTLY to a tweet that criticizes one of his jokes. And Amazon wants you to let delivery drivers into your house when you're not there. You cool with that?

Things get silly as Luke and Andrew discuss what Peter Frampton would sing about if he were Australian, why Andrew considers Luke to be the Albert Einstein of podcasting, and the best way to get eaten by a crocodile. Also, Andrew says some regrettable things about his great grandma.

Luke joins the show from New York City, where, it turns out, few salsas are actually mass produced. He and Andrew also discuss the anti-straw movement, how not to eat with chopsticks, and a doping scandal at the Iditarod.

Luke swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to try a dental experiment on himself. Plus, airplane stalking goes viral, and we get some dazzling details about those giant American flags that the NFL uses during games. And this week's No Point Conversion has Luke feeling good about the Seahawks and Andrew feeling very, very, very bad about the Cleveland Browns.

Luke and Andrew have a follicle follow-up after discovering Matthew McConaughey's secret to regrowing hair. Plus, Luke uncovers some mystery tape from a pivotal moment in TBTL history. And it's Friday, so get ready for some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew try to win over a new listener they just met on Twitter. It's not going well. Plus, Luke's been stalking reality show contestants, Matthew McConaughey's Power Stance raises some interesting questions about scientific research, and the CIA does social media.

The Great Darkness continues in Bellingham, Washington, where the Bay Kitty is searching for higher ground to escape to. Luke and Andrew also pay tribute to the Tragically Hip's Gord Downie, who passed away last night. And a very unusual event on Jeopardy! yesterday lands Andrew in the hot seat.

Luke and his boat survive day one of "The Big Dark" at Burbank Springs, despite all of Luke's efforts to electrocute himself. Also, when a cow gets loose in Brooklyn, it tests the local media's ability to stay with the story. And Andrew is struggling not to let another petty grievance ruin his Trucktober.

An airline that got bad press for freaking out its passengers mid-flight just did it again. Luke and Andrew discuss this and Andrew's increasing fear of flying. Plus, Luke's takes off his clothes in a parking garage, and no one even bothered to notice. And Seattle's last umbrella shop is closing.

Luke did something super cool yesterday, and now he thinks he's super cool. Plus, listeners weigh-in with follow-ups about creepin' on airplanes and bribing front desk clerks. And because it's Friday, we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke encounters a TSA agent with a 'tude, and the whole story gets Andrew's blood up. They also call Luke's mom, Susie, to ask her why she joined the TBTL Facebook group and if this means she's started listening to the podcast. And a huge brawl breaks out at an American Legion post very close to TBTL's heart.

Luke and Andrew discuss tissue box design, the unusual reason Luke's teachers hated him, why Andrew would trade 100 Mel Brooks for one Norman Lear, and whether TBTL needs to sue W. Kamau Bell. Plus, TOP STORIES: A Chinese city government cooks up the worst prank ever, and astronaut Scott Kelly learns something very interesting about a colleague's brush with space death.

Luke and Andrew add up all the hours and minutes they've spent waiting for various beats to drop and wonder what they've done with their lives. Plus, the newest Jeopary! star might be getting under Alex Trebek's skin. And Andrew tests Luke's Jeopardy! acumen.

Luke and Andrew dig into an expose on what never to order at your favorite chain restaurant. Also, a McDonald's sauce-related promotion causes chaos across the country. And Luke tries to help Andrew make sense of an ugly, ugly Browns world in this week's No Point Conversion.

Luke makes a new friend at a chain restaurant bar. Andrew defends one of the most maligned pop songs of the '80s. And they discuss a controversial piece of advice offered to new podcasters. Plus, it's a Friday, so you know we have some Music For Your Weekend.

Luke, back from his star-studded visit to Portland, is dropping names like Kenny Britt drops footballs. He and Andrew discuss a new Wu-Tang mystery, proper mic-handling skills, and why Steve Earl had to tell Luke to stop touching him.

It's a TBTL Morning Zoo as Luke and Andrew drag themselves out of bed to discuss their stress dreams, trailers for polar-themed animated movies, and the UK Prime Minister's awkward press conference.

Luke and Andrew usher in Trucktober with an appreciation of Tom Petty's life and career. They also dive into an incredible story about an SNL star's struggle with life and losing a role. Plus, Andrew falls for #fakenews, but Luke isn't feeling punitive.

David Burbank swings by Burbank Springs to talk to the boys about proper font choices, why he's reading The Lord Of The Rings for the seventh time, and whether it's okay to throw your dog poop in someone else's trashcan. And they break down the Seahawks and Browns games in this week's No Point Conversion.

Luke and Andrew admit to some pretty shady behavior on airplanes. They also discuss a list of the top 71 famous graduates from Luke's college...and whether he made the cut. And it's Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend.

Luke has a new exercise regime he wants to test out on-air. Andrew has some opinions about his friends' Facebook posts. And they discuss Velcro's new attempt to get people to *stop* saying "Velcro".