TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke broke his face this weekend, but not how you think. He explains how he tried to hide the damage. Plus, Andrew quizzes him (with help from the New York Times) on holiday travel hacks. And they look back on an unusually exciting weekend of football in No Point Conversion. (Oh, also, the show is like two-and-a-half hours long. So buckle up, and drink plenty of water.)

Luke joins the show from Chicago, where he ate four hotdogs FOR HIS JOB yesterday. Andrew's fine with that. They also discuss a report that says Luke shouldn't try to think big thoughts while he's jogging, but Andrew's not having it. And it's Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Nick "No Nickname" Jarin swings by TBTL to talk Andrew through a significant life change. Plus, Patton Oswalt reacts PERFECTLY to a tweet that criticizes one of his jokes. And Amazon wants you to let delivery drivers into your house when you're not there. You cool with that?

Things get silly as Luke and Andrew discuss what Peter Frampton would sing about if he were Australian, why Andrew considers Luke to be the Albert Einstein of podcasting, and the best way to get eaten by a crocodile. Also, Andrew says some regrettable things about his great grandma.

Luke joins the show from New York City, where, it turns out, few salsas are actually mass produced. He and Andrew also discuss the anti-straw movement, how not to eat with chopsticks, and a doping scandal at the Iditarod.

Luke swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to try a dental experiment on himself. Plus, airplane stalking goes viral, and we get some dazzling details about those giant American flags that the NFL uses during games. And this week's No Point Conversion has Luke feeling good about the Seahawks and Andrew feeling very, very, very bad about the Cleveland Browns.

Luke and Andrew have a follicle follow-up after discovering Matthew McConaughey's secret to regrowing hair. Plus, Luke uncovers some mystery tape from a pivotal moment in TBTL history. And it's Friday, so get ready for some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew try to win over a new listener they just met on Twitter. It's not going well. Plus, Luke's been stalking reality show contestants, Matthew McConaughey's Power Stance raises some interesting questions about scientific research, and the CIA does social media.

The Great Darkness continues in Bellingham, Washington, where the Bay Kitty is searching for higher ground to escape to. Luke and Andrew also pay tribute to the Tragically Hip's Gord Downie, who passed away last night. And a very unusual event on Jeopardy! yesterday lands Andrew in the hot seat.

Luke and his boat survive day one of "The Big Dark" at Burbank Springs, despite all of Luke's efforts to electrocute himself. Also, when a cow gets loose in Brooklyn, it tests the local media's ability to stay with the story. And Andrew is struggling not to let another petty grievance ruin his Trucktober.

An airline that got bad press for freaking out its passengers mid-flight just did it again. Luke and Andrew discuss this and Andrew's increasing fear of flying. Plus, Luke's takes off his clothes in a parking garage, and no one even bothered to notice. And Seattle's last umbrella shop is closing.

Luke did something super cool yesterday, and now he thinks he's super cool. Plus, listeners weigh-in with follow-ups about creepin' on airplanes and bribing front desk clerks. And because it's Friday, we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke encounters a TSA agent with a 'tude, and the whole story gets Andrew's blood up. They also call Luke's mom, Susie, to ask her why she joined the TBTL Facebook group and if this means she's started listening to the podcast. And a huge brawl breaks out at an American Legion post very close to TBTL's heart.

Luke and Andrew discuss tissue box design, the unusual reason Luke's teachers hated him, why Andrew would trade 100 Mel Brooks for one Norman Lear, and whether TBTL needs to sue W. Kamau Bell. Plus, TOP STORIES: A Chinese city government cooks up the worst prank ever, and astronaut Scott Kelly learns something very interesting about a colleague's brush with space death.

Luke and Andrew add up all the hours and minutes they've spent waiting for various beats to drop and wonder what they've done with their lives. Plus, the newest Jeopary! star might be getting under Alex Trebek's skin. And Andrew tests Luke's Jeopardy! acumen.

Luke and Andrew dig into an expose on what never to order at your favorite chain restaurant. Also, a McDonald's sauce-related promotion causes chaos across the country. And Luke tries to help Andrew make sense of an ugly, ugly Browns world in this week's No Point Conversion.

Luke makes a new friend at a chain restaurant bar. Andrew defends one of the most maligned pop songs of the '80s. And they discuss a controversial piece of advice offered to new podcasters. Plus, it's a Friday, so you know we have some Music For Your Weekend.

Luke, back from his star-studded visit to Portland, is dropping names like Kenny Britt drops footballs. He and Andrew discuss a new Wu-Tang mystery, proper mic-handling skills, and why Steve Earl had to tell Luke to stop touching him.

It's a TBTL Morning Zoo as Luke and Andrew drag themselves out of bed to discuss their stress dreams, trailers for polar-themed animated movies, and the UK Prime Minister's awkward press conference.

Luke and Andrew usher in Trucktober with an appreciation of Tom Petty's life and career. They also dive into an incredible story about an SNL star's struggle with life and losing a role. Plus, Andrew falls for #fakenews, but Luke isn't feeling punitive.

David Burbank swings by Burbank Springs to talk to the boys about proper font choices, why he's reading The Lord Of The Rings for the seventh time, and whether it's okay to throw your dog poop in someone else's trashcan. And they break down the Seahawks and Browns games in this week's No Point Conversion.

Luke and Andrew admit to some pretty shady behavior on airplanes. They also discuss a list of the top 71 famous graduates from Luke's college...and whether he made the cut. And it's Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend.

Luke has a new exercise regime he wants to test out on-air. Andrew has some opinions about his friends' Facebook posts. And they discuss Velcro's new attempt to get people to *stop* saying "Velcro".

Luke and Andrew have a secret to share, but they don't know if they should. And they dissect one listener's list of least-favorite songs.

Luke swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to start eating the lunch his wife packed for him (even though it's only 10am.) He and Andrew also discuss the latest scandal to hit a mediocre prime-time network television show. And: How Not To Hire A Handyman In Pittsburgh.

Luke's wife, Carey, joins the show to set the record straight on some things. Luke and Andrew also discuss the harrowing story of a college student who found himself trapped in a cave for 3 days. And in this week's No Point Conversion, they discuss the Seahawks loss this weekend and how players responded to the President's demands to stand during the national anthem.

Luke has a dilemma that only a pair of fake, rubber ears can solve. New research on bathroom towels has Andrew disgusted and vindicated. Plus, some brand new Music For Your Weekend!

Famous basketball player Kevin Durant got caught fighting with fans using a fake online name, but Luke and Andrew aren't mad at him. Plus, we finally hear the other side of the story of The Man Who Was Trapped In The Bathroom On A First Date And Ended Up Marrying The Woman Who Rescued Him.

Luke checks-in from Indianapolis, where he's reporting on a new park that is definitely not a park. He and Andrew talk about a woman in Colorado Springs who's public enemy #1 because of her bathroom habits. And Andrew made a salad today, but that's not really that interesting.

Andrew gets some bad news about one of his favorite neighborhood watering holes. Luke orders some very questionable business cards. And they learn why foreign diplomats in Cuba sometimes find mysterious "gifts" left in their toilets when they come home from work.

Luke had a shaving emergency minutes before going on stage over the weekend, which necessitated some creative use of antiperspirant. Plus, the guys discuss two examples of people really stepping up and "going for it", with very different results.

Andrew forces Luke to listen to more archival tape he found from Cleveland in the 1980s, and this time it pays off. Plus, a TBTL audio mystery, why the secret Wu-Tang album may not be a Wu-Tang album at all, and what makes LaCroix LaCroix. Plus, music for your weekend!

Andrew stumbled on some archival audio that he's excited to play for Luke. Luke is excited about a giant ball of disgustingness that's living below the streets of London. They discuss these topics and share a couple of pretty sad stories about fish.

Luke is trying to find a hat that looks like one in Dirty Dancing. Andrew's quasi-obsession with Monk is getting more Monk-y. Luke also weighs in on the new iPhone unveiling, which Andrew's apparently been having bad dreams about (that, and 7-foot bug monsters.)

A walk on his old college campus has Luke feeling almost overwhelmed with nostalgia. He and Andrew also discuss whether people should demand things ASAP, at EOB, or at OOB. Plus, an NFL sideline reporter finds himself an unlikely celebrity, and a listener shares her story of a first date and a secret bathroom.

Luke and Andrew get real about their long-term professional insecurities, as one does when one realizes one is a professional podcarter. Plus, Jim Carey tries to lay some Real Truths on an entertainment reporter. And No Point Conversion is back! Luke and Andrew break-down yesterday's double-loss by the Seahawks and the Browns.

Luke runs a soda-related experiment on Andrew, which results in both of them getting way too hopped-up on caffeine and sugar to finish the show. Also, Chili's has announced that it's cutting its menu IN HALF, but it's still way too long. And we're all playing right into Whole Food's organic little hands.

Luke and Andrew get into some nasty business today with a story about a woman who found herself in a very compromising bathroom situation on a first date. A listener writes-in with another related situation. And an Irish family tries to capture a bat in their house, and it makes for some fascinating audio.

Luke, Carey and Andrew gather at Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to talk about the scariest moments in a radio producer's life, whether TBTL is good or bad for Luke and Carey's relationship, and why Legos are so dang complicated these days. Then KROQ's Bean Baxter swings by to drop some doo-wop knowledge.

Luke and Andrew woke up to find ash literally falling from the sky here in the Pacific Northwest. Once they get over that, they manage to discuss Luke's least favorite TV commercial, why cutting onions make us cry, and whether They Might Be Giants will record a song about either of those things. Plus, things get real when someone calls in to ask a simple question about fantasy football.

Andrew has a LOT of opinions about the hotel he's staying at in L.A., and Luke is excited about one of his favorite filmmaker's latest projects.

Luke, Andrew and Tens of listeners gather at Maris Farms in Buckley, Washington, for the 2017 TBTL Summer Picnic!

Luke and Andrew are excited for the picnic but a bit worried about the weather. Meanwhile Prince may have not been the person we thought he was, and Pumpkin Spice has arrived; whether or not America is ready.

Luke and Andrew learn that pizzas are soon going to be delivered by self-driving cars equipped with ovens and two disturbingly silent scientists. Meanwhile, an elderly couple in Texas is saved from their flooding home by another fast-food chain. And Nick Jarin of NW Nerd swings by for the final 2017 episode of a Song of Ice and Spoilers!

Andrew helps Luke work out a dog-related etiquette question, then says the word "Terri-Poo" too many times. Plus, Amazon takes over Whole Foods and lowers prices, but maybe going to a threatening-sounding butcher shop is the best bet for everyone. And a listener explains how TBTL is ruining science in a Minnesota laboratory.

Luke's inevitable skateboard-related injury occurred over the weekend, while Andrew was out buying $2 baseballs. They discuss a study that says you should probably just order that take-out food tonight, and a very, very good reason to stop using hotel tea kettles

Luke and Andrew can barely contain themselves after Erik the Viking solves all their technical woes. They use their newfangled podcast equipment to discuss Taylor Swift's polarizing new song and how Right Said Fred got a writing credit on it. Plus, The Great Bathmat Debate of 2017 and why Andrew refuses to squeegee his shower. And, of course, we sample some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke has finally found a way to make himself 13-years-old again, and Rudy The PodDog is LOVING IT! Meanwhile, Andrew is on a special mission to recapture someone else's youth. And an etiquette expert weighs-in on the controversial topic of airplane-seat-reclining.

A state worker in New York is busted by a reporter after an unfortunate butt-dial. Luke and Andrew discuss his fate, and they announce a new project they need your help with. We also hear the VERY dramatic story of a listener's unforgettable commute to work. Then Nick Jarin swings by for this week's angst-filled episode of a Song of Ice and Spoilers!

Luke kind of wishes he had been in the Zone of Totality yesterday, while Andrew is still sorting through his feelings about Haley's Comet. Plus resident WOIFE Carey shares a kinship with a Fox News Anchor. And! We announce the last two finalists of the TBTL Song of the Summer!