Stall It with Darren and Joe

The lads are back from LA and on reflection it seems they had trips of wildly different fortunes, with Joe left feeling rejected (but not at all bitter) by the Hollywood elite, while Darren returned with tales of robot butlers and a suitcase bulging with the spoils of the soft drink wars. There's also a deep dive into the world of chewing gum and competitive chewing, and Joe is amazed by the cultural differences in different areas of Dublin when it comes to etiquette around shopping trolleys. A few miles can make a world of difference, it seems.

Darren and Joe struggle to decide how far into the future they would like to see and debate the likelihood of winning a dance off against Rihanna. Then, left up to their own devices, they hit the streets of LA and attempt to get the public's opinions.

Darren and Joe ventured outside of Dublin to see what LA has to offer. While there Darren’s childhood dream of re-enacting Little Nicky goes awry because of a chicken shortage and the true extent of Joe’s friendship with Barry Keoghan is revealed. They also get momentarily distracted by the arrival of an ice-cream van.

We wrestle with questions of great philosophical depth, and unmatched nonsensical reasoning, as the morality of injuring grass come to the fore, the pros and cons of life as a cruise ship are considered, and a Dacia Duster poses a potentially lethal question.

We pass through tales of kissing machines (and Joe’s dreams of them), Darren’s run ins with suburban witches, the mystery of friends with secret homes, much misunderstanding of evolution, and Darren’s memories of a childhood career on the milk rounds.

Darren and Joe explore the consequences of psychic abilities and dirty kitchens. Darren argues that a world of vampires would lead to a better social life and Joe insists that he does not lie - And is instantly caught out in his dishonesty.

We go on an odyssey this week, as Darren chases dreams of glory as the owner of Charlestown Athletic F.C, with a motley crew of locals lads and bus drivers setting out on the road to sporting immortality. What begins as an innocent dream soon descends into a tangled web of board room betrayal, wayward footballing geniuses, dodgy signings from Kimmage, extortion and allegations of kidnapping. Can Darren bring Champions League football to Charlestown, or will it all come crumbling down around him? And can Joe be trusted to not sabotage him at every turn?

Darren wrestles with impossible choices that will impact his ability to sit down for five years, while Joe realises just how much he wants to resurrect an iconic Irish venue. There's also calls for the rebirth of a kids TV classic.

We're joined by comedian Peter McGann this week. We look back at the most sinister and disturbing reality TV formats, from unsettling familial relationships to competitive car chases, and Peter predicts Darren & Joe will bring to life a film franchise set (largely) in a haunted house. Joe explains the concept of "the third man", and Darren reveals for the first time his secret past life as a wannabe DJ.

An unexpected visit from the Talking Bollox hosts. They manage to derail the lads from discussing which politician looks the most like a pack of rich tea biscuits, but also reveal Joe's dreams shared, in confidence, at the GoLoud Christmas party.

While Darren is fretting about the costs of a themed wedding, Joe is exploring the history of the sliced pan. There's a plan hatched to set a world record in a particularly Irish discipline, and the lads love of The Last of Us has them asking how the world would change without humans around for the upkeep. Plus there's the realisation that there is far more to the world of competitive Rubik's Cube solving than we anticipated.

Darren & Joe discuss Dublin's best pubs for visitors, a shrine to celebrity in the inner city, Darren's confusion over the finer details of how commerce works, how small moments can put you off a food forever, and their dreams careers in a Last of Us style apocalypse.

The lads are concerned with hereditary maladies and promises of eternal youth, or at least solutions to beat the cankles. Darren’s got Big Brother dreams and, simultaneously, nightmares that reality TV is going to catch up with him, and Joe takes a brief anthropological exploration into the world on app dating.

Your questions have Darren denying he is flexing his influencer status to secure big money discounts on luxury items, while the lads try to offer a listener their wise guidance on a big life problem, and inevitably end up suggesting Jenga.

Barry Keoghan's recent success has Darren questioning if Joe's currently unrequited friendship with Barry is a case of life imitating art, and if Joe might just be a bit dull. Joe counters the suggestion with a story about the daring and haphazard moving of a giant outdoor photo, in what was ultimately an act of (yet more) unrequited friendship. And the lads explore the world of cryptozoology, from the Loch Ness Monster to Bigfoot, and even an Irish beast that may live among us.

Bitter Oscar acceptance speeches and a life of luxury in the skies are on the agenda for this week's bonus episode. Darren argues blimps are commonplace, while Joe is drawing up a shortlist of targets for when the Academy finally recognises his genius.

Killer clowns, high priced feline artworks, and popcorn scented candles are the focus of the lads attention this week, with Joe bringing us back through the decades for some historical oddities and morbid curiosities, while Darren is brainstorming for a merchandising empire in the luxury interiors industry.

Darren & Joe have to weigh up which animal they would feel confident of beating in a foot race, and quickly come to an underwhelming conclusion. There's also ponderings on a career in a doorbell factory, and a literal million dollar question.

The lads take a journey through the world of international espionage, from the Cold War to mysterious code breaking, and they ask about the evolutionary origins of inexplicable body parts. And Darren plans a 5am carvery.

A listener offers the lads cold hard cash to swap accents, and Joe gets an unsolicited and very specific elocution lesson.

Mysterious princes, promises of riches and stolen identities - the lads have tales of fighting the scammers... and one story of taking a chance of a promise of millions from a mysterious stranger. There's also a strange (and upsetting) panto visit, and Joe can't find a pair of shoes, which somehow leads him down an existential rabbit hole and into the world of rare vision disorders.

Would you hand back a jackpot winning lotto ticket you found outside a shop? Darren and Joe ponder the moral and potential criminal implications of such a situation and find that when it comes to the kindness of strangers (including them), life is very much a lottery. And there'salso auditions for the role of humanity's ambassador upon first contact with an alien species.

This week the lads delve into a decades-old mystery from the old Soviet Union, and ponder the many theories put forward - including aliens, cold war combat and the involvement of a yeti.

A question about professional wrestling personas gives the lads the excuse they've been waiting for to build an entire backstory to a couple of particularly hapless superstars of the ring, and they have to weigh up which entertainment artefact most influences their daily interactions.

For the final Stall It over the year Joe uncovers yet more gaps in Darren's cover as a real human being, while between them they get lost down a rabbithole of graveyard holograms and 10,000 rental deals. We also have an excerpt from our recording with Killian Sundermann, in which Killian enlightens us on how he's gentrifying Joe's old area, and there's a review of Killian's show stealing turn in Free Gaff.

A listener question has the lads considering their dream exit from the stage of public life, Joe wants to go back to the fifst time cinemagoers set eyes on Oz, and Darren weighs up the implications of a life spent drinking just one particular drink.

It's Christmas and Darren and Joe are getting in the festive mood by reliving (and in some cases re-enacting) their favourite movies, from Deck the Halls to A Christmas Carol. They also chat about presents and inventions that were discovered by odd quirks of fate.

On this weeks bonus episode Darren and Joe see how long it would take them to count to a billion, (spoiler, they gave up fairly quickly). They also chat about how many holes there are in a straw, it all kicked off...

Comedian Al Foran joins us this week and, between appearances of Mark Wahlberg and Michael Douglas, he aids Darren and Joe in plotting a memorabilia investment strategy and recalls a terrifying encounter with Mike Tyson. And in news that confuses everyone but Darren, he has a major breakthrough in his hunt for a bottle of the elusive Prime drink.

We're joined by special guest Al Foran this week, who helps the lads take your questions on everything from reliving childhood in anther era, to designing obnoxiously large historical monuments in their memory.

Darren and Joe have their faith shaken as they hear that many things they took as fact are little more than myths - from the pyramids to the origins of Santa. Joe is dreaming of a new career as a Storage Wars warrior, and it gives Darren pause for thought on if he should get into some foraging for antiques as a get rich quick scheme. And we have some rental horror stories featuring bad landlords and apartment infestations.

After making a shocking admission about a Christmas tradition, Joe's trying desperately to backtrack on his long (long) track record of despising festive joy. And then the lads go shopping for their choice of humanity's next evolutionary step.

The corrupting power of great wealth is on display as Joe outlines his twisted vision for the best way to spend a multi-million quid windfall, while Darren's dreams are maybe more innocent on the surface level, but not without their own sadistic edge. We also have your submissions for apocalypse surviving tactics, sent in to us after last week's episode. Results were mixed, at best.

Questions of reincarnation in the animal world - and a choice between life in the wild and life in captivity - are at the forefront of this week's bonus episode. There's also product development done on the Stall It range of talking dolls, and some deep consideration to why Joe thinks seeing the 17A bus at 4am would be terrifying.

A sudden cataclysmic event has ended civilisation as we know it. All modern comforts and securities are gone and it's every person for themselves. What do you do? Where do you go first? Do you join a tribe or forge ahead alone? Is your best bet to find an island or a remote mountain hideaway? Darren and Joe try to plot their survival plans in a post-apocalyptic world this week, taking them from the mountains of Munster to islands full of strange creatures, to Dunnes in Charlestown Shopping Centre (of course) and even a misguided attempt to hijack a cruise liner.

This week the lads field questions on Joe's hatred of festive joy, talking dogs, trans-Atlantic visitors, and inventions with which to survive in a new and desolate world.

There are two very different versions of z-list celebrity life on display, as Joe schmoozes at awards dinners and backstage after gigs (while offering everyone a picture), but Darren struggles through the glare of reflected fame to go and see a movie... or even get a haircut. The lads dissect the art of small talk, Darren makes a Christmas decoration expedition, and they have (inevitably, some argue) given in to temptation and recorded a novelty single.

Quandaries on journeys through space, time and the deepest oceans are on taxing the lads as they weigh up the pros and cons of being a fish out of water visiting the distant past or far-off future, and get the choice of one (kind of, but not really) super power.

Joe's travels among the underground Irish hip hop scene, the Summer of Love, invented (and contested) prophecies of doom and Darren's themed parties are all on the agenda, but the most important moment this week could be Darren's admission to being unaware of a major (and incredibly widespread) part of pop culture history.

Your questions ignite a debate on the lifestyle benefits of teleportation versus time travel, a mysterious yet eerily familiar scent invading a listener's home, and Stall It's top tips for visiting Dublin.

Would Darren enjoy a life in the priesthood? Why is he so upset that Joe asks? Would Joe make it as a world champion in the world of competitive phone box fighting? Would the world be better served with A.I. running our governments? What could Joe do when he found himself trapped in a taxi with a as the driver played porn on his phone? Why is a regular BBC radio show so important to preventing all out nuclear war? Why were Joe's looks the target of the TV critics this week? In this episode we uncover the answers to many, many questions you didn't realise you needed the answers to.

A fresh batch of listener questions has the lads exploring haunting frequencies, contemplating the early warning signs of societal collapse, and weighing up the movie stars they would most like to spend the rest of their days stuck with.

For this Halloween episode the lads bring to the table a catalogue of spooky tales, some less believable than others. Form ghostly hitchhikers, to mystery music in the night, and luminescent apparitions in Trabolgan.

Could you eat the same meal for the rest of your life? and what would that meal be? Listen as Darren and Joe talk dinasaur's, puzzling modern life questions and more inside this week's bonus.

Do you have a pet name for your beloved partner? Ever been in a scrap at school? This week the lads recall they're time on the playground. Joe shares his 'Special' watch with us, and Darren remembers his friend with the small tongue fondly.

This weeks bonus is full of life changing questions like, Do you eat Crisps in bed and what crumbs are the worst? Joe and Darren answer their first EVER relationship dilemma and Joe gets into the science behind his fizzy drink tip.

This week the lads are joined by comedian and actor Sean Burke and together they discuss everything from self tape disasters, Sean's interaction with The Rock and Kevin Heart, and the delicacy that is French and spicy food. Meanwhile Darren questions the power of twitter, video games, and Sean shares his story of the Great Bob Ross sketch. Big question are asked as we find out if salad is air, and so much more.

This week's bonus episode sees the lads get nostalgic as they consider what they would be nostalgic for in 40 years...and big questions are asked as they determine if cereal is soup?

Have you ever set up a Go Fund me for a kettle? Well Joe has. This week we hear about past jobs and supermarket experiences. A few tales about adventures at the Circus and how long rats are pregnant for. We hear about the events of 1964 and they also touch on the new Netflix series about Jeffrey Dahmer.

This week's batch of listener questions have the lads considering their personal ideal of heaven and hell. Big questions are asked as we find out - if you were a kitchen utensil what one would you be and so much more.