Stall It with Darren and Joe

Please for advice are coming thick and fast, with the lads posed quandaries on relationships, travel plans and There is a very direct answer to a question about a Darren V Joe WrestleMania bout, we hear of a hilarious Stall It misunderstanding in Canada, and two young Italian fans of the podcast are bringing the Stall It theme tune to the world. Joe almost gets away with no abuse from listeners, but not quite.

Darren has become a global superstar off the back of his biggest ever sketch video. He's a name from China to Guantanamo Bay. And it's all news to Joe, who somehow missed Darren's big breakout moment. That's because Joe has been on a cruise and he returns with a fresh batch of tales of adventure and minor grievance on the high seas. There's also stories of cows in Finglas, the terror of moths, and the bitter feud over the proper way to celebrate birthdays reignites.

Joe's list of bucket list holidays grows shorter as he ticks off yet another dream destination - but of course he still isn't happy. Darren considers and invite to a Stag do, and separately ponders his card for a celebrity deathmatch fight night. There's also a tricky proposition around a much maligned, but still somewhat iconic, Star Wars character.

In a major moment for Stall It, and cats, we receive word of the first known naming of a pet in honour of Darren and Joe – and it has us wondering what else might be out there. Joe is aiming for a more sentimental existence, after finding a long lost childhood letter from his sister and feeling the pang for creating a personal archive. He also has tales and tips from the world of shop lifting and prison yard smuggling. Daren has crossed over into the highest tier of celebrity he could ever dream of, as he gets a follow from the official Neca figures account – and now Joe wants him to make the most of the golden opportunity. Not that it’s stopping him mocking Darren’s “figure” collection in any way. There’s a look through casting decisions that could have changed iconic films, and Joe submits the theory that Rhinos might not be real.

There are some difficult choice placed before us this week, with a lifetime's supply of takeaway food and Necca figures (not toys) up for grabs - but there's always a catch. There are also life or death opportunities and risks involving a demented snail, and a chance at living your dreams, but in the presence of a disagreeable landlord of strange habits. And one listener dig up a very old and hugely bold claim by Joe, related to Lily Allen, and asks if Joe still holds these same views all these years later.

We take a look at humanity's greatest moments of spite, from opportunistic real estate deals to global sporting giants founded out of nothing but badness. Joe quite quickly and happily prepares himself to turn on his compatriots if an invading force lands on our shores, while Darren doesn't want to turn rat, but isn't sure he has the get up and go to be a resistance fighter. There's a journey through the world of low stakes gambling and Darren is fairly unmoved by the thought of a lottery jackpot win.

A delayed bonus episode has the listeners fed up and in the mood for airing their grievances, with complaints about Joe's understanding of theoretical physics and Darren's embarrassing mix up between mattresses and duvets. Joe also reveals what would actually make him happy, or at the very least - content, and Darren shares some sad news about DJ Fresh Vibes.

Illegal dumping for the fringe air miles benefits, caring for the overly-keen elderly and easily ignored life advice are on the agenda for the lads this week. Darren is exploring the finer points of the legalities around dumping, and wondering about how far he can go reporting his neighbours before he's classed a police informant, and concerned about is ow legal liabilities. He's also arguing for gender equality in the world of spinning. Joe has a lot to say about the posh classes and does his best to explain the world of rugby and rugby fandom to Darren.

A lump sum or a creative challenge are laid on the table of the lads to weigh up. Alternative career paths present themselves and Joe opts for the traditional while Darren admits to being a bit confused about the choices on offer. Darren makes a bold statement about the population of the entire country of Ireland outside Dublin, and Joe tries to figure out if there is any kind of money he wouldn't take, for any reason.

Joe sends Darren's head spinning with tales of multiverses and the potential for giants to exist everywhere all at once. The lads explore the massive potential of the parallel world of renting a friend or a mourner (or a podcast guest). The heat has Darren's summer destroyed, and Joe has been dreaming of battling Stone Cold Steve Austin in the ring.

A debate rages about the great shark films, a listener writes in to back up Joe, there are war stories, and a truly unsettling question around teeth. And then there's another big question, about the greater risk of seeing forward or back in time.

Welcome to the most disorganised 100th birthday party you'll ever attend. The celebratory mood of hitting this milestone is carried along by Darren’s new tin whistle, before it’s punctured by Joe’s scathing review of a miserable trip to Disneyland Paris – complete with shattered childhood dreams, miserable strike actions, ignorant taxi drivers, and exorbitant prices. We recall some listeners’ favourite moments from the century of episodes, and in the process we reignite a debate that threatened to split the pod in two. And to wrap it all up, an old friend (of sorts) returns for the occasion, bringing with him a very special listener question.

To mark the week of our 100th episode we are doing a competition - with listeners vying to win a very special prize by submitting their best questions. The top contenders have the lads considering the peace negotiations between the warring tribes of Ireland; homes with skateboard ramps as a feature; wildlife royal rumbles, and what one secret they would choose to reveal.

Joe reveals a deep and long standing vendetta against the world of TV talent shows, and explains how the roots lie in the painful rejection of his Burrito Song. And yes, he gives us a rendition. There's talk of crippling dental PTSD, and the curse of missing out of the genetic code lottery for ankles. Joe is off to Euro Disney and explains to us the bizarre cultural phenomenon of Disney Adults. Joe reminisces about an old Dublin culinary classic, and two of Ireland’s most sponsored and commercially endorsed men somehow try to take the moral high ground on product placement in movies and TV.

A curveball opening questions sends us down a squeamish road with tales of Joe's most disgusting moments, and Darren wants to love some very popular things but just can't get there. One listener wants to explore the lads deep preparation process for each podcast, while Joe wants to smash the stigma that people should shower at the gym. The lads learn about supersonic travel and Joe puts forward the case for teleportation as a last act in life.

Darren has been to the ultimate celebrity party and stolen the show to save the day when Jedward couldn't be found - and Joe is disgusted he left early. Joe tells us about his wife living with the phenomenon of aphantasia, which makes it impossible to mentally visualise images (like Joe's face). Darren has "had a fall", Joe tells us about the near perfect crime of a neighbour stealing his school uniforms, and the lads remember the days of Bebo and the picture of personality it let them create.

This week your questions have the lads pondering if they have ever spotted a tear in the fabric of the Matrix, weighing up what a month on a donkey is really worth, and trawl their memories for the most notable nicknames they've ever come across.

We begin in the Soviet Union at the dawn of computer game history and end up in Finglas, with Darren attempting to pet every dog in the known universe. Along the way the lads are deeply unimpressed by the record for the highest selling album of all time, feeling aggrieved Crash Bandicoot wasn't in more homes, shocked by just how lucrative the straight-to-video animation market was in the 90s, and slightly baffled by the amount of fish, words and dogs in the world. Besides all that, Darren revels in his new life as a foodie and Joe tells us he has received quite the brutal reality check by some daytime TV producers who feel he just isn't quite famous enough.

Doing the crab backwards up an escalator might initially sound easy, but as Darren's survey of multiple celebrities reveals, it can be a bit more complicated. Joe is sticking to his guns on life in Amsterdam, even in the face of a reasoned argument from a listener, and the lads debate how to sum up their life stories for the silver screen.

We're joined by Martin Eastwood, a business man of many talents with a few adventures to tell us about - from bringing the Finglas curry shop scene to the X Factor, to partying with John C. Reilly, and catching a young Joe McGucken out with some clever marketing ploys. He also fields the lads Dragon's Den pitches, and does his best to turn them into marketing masters. Besides that, Joe has had another paranormal experience, Darren is wondering what's the least amount of time he could spend on screen and still win an Oscar, and we hear the full review of Joe's strange weekend in London.

Joe weighs up which Olympic sport he would be better at, while Darren scrambles to find a way out of a prison sentence in Siberia. We weigh up which online trend is most irritating and disgusting, and an eagle eyed listener has uncovered something a little curious in the many layers of Darren's online persona.

We look at a history of hoaxes, leading us down a very strange road exploring the tale of a much coveted (and seemingly, much faked) relic that has crossed the globe for centuries. We also hear about a hugely elaborate nineteenth century prank that seems to have inspired The Simpsons, some very patriotic (and very fake) animals, and the story behind the hoax of Hitler's diaries. Joe explains his fears he's living in the Truman Show, there's a debate on what makes the perfect public toilet, and some appreciation of the genius of Lego.

Listeners come to Darren and Joe for life advice, and might regret it. Joe pushes back on the dullness of fact checking and insists life and parties are better with a reckless regard for accuracy in storytelling, Darren celebrates a free haircut and laments never getting a free car, and then there is some significant praise for the evolution of the character of Joe McGucken.

Joe is no longer impressed by the skills of airline pilots, while simultaneously admitting he failed to land a role playing a dead body in a film. Darren shares his own stories of failure on the audition circuit, while Joe consoles himself with a consolation IMDB credit as "Chicken man". Joe is off on a holiday packed with intriguing activities, and dreaming of globetrotting adventures, but Darren tells us about his holiday plans and proudly proclaims he has no interest in the capacity of travel to broaden the mind - while simultaneously admitting he failed on the first question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

Joe is accused of stealing form the church collection plate, while Darren faces allegations of public nose picking. Besides that listeners want to know if Joe would choose a life of daily curry, if eternity spent being tickled or mildly shocked is worse, and a listener predicts Joe is destined for a life sniping at society from the wilderness.

We take a deep dive into the story of the Unabomber, and how his mysterious bombing campaign baffled police for almost 20 years, before he unleashed his bizarre and controversial manifesto on the world. Besides all of that, Joe insists there's more skill in casual ironing than competitive fishing, Darren has been outraged by garden cushions finding their way into the bedroom, and Joe finds himself in an intolerably tough spot at Disneyland.

Despite pleas for calm, chaos has broken out among listeners and Joe has become the target of a now unstoppable wave of listener abuse. He's handling it all with grace, and has channeled his frustration in a full blooded argument that chicken soup is not real. It's a stance that sparks off one the most passionate debates in Stall It history.

Predictions for the future, life after death and discount portions of chips – we have it all for you this week. We delve into the realm of time travel, and hear predictions of uploading our personalities to the cloud where we can live forever – but would we want that? Joe brings us through the long and varied history of predictions for the future, from the eerily accurate, to the ridiculously wrong, and we look at current predictions for humanity’s next few years. Darren tells us about how his childhood football career was derailed by his harmonica habit, and Joe reminisces about the days of buying a few cent worth of chips when he just couldn’t scrape the cash for the full bag.

The lads pitch plans for concept pubs, weigh up a strange choice between Aidan Gillen and Westlife, and Darren considers if he'd prefer life as Joe or Christy the Crinkler.

Joe has been on a holiday, which inevitably means he returns to the studio with complaints, regrets and grievances to air. Darren has some theories about kangaroos he'd like to share, while also reminiscing about the day he came close to drawing a crowd of 10,000 people to The Spire in Dublin, and Joe is refusing to let the "beds in stadiums" dream die - in fact, he thinks he might have turned the tide on the debate.

Joe faces a spontaneous outpouring of scorn from listeners this week, and decides to fight fire with fire when his approach to the rounds system in pubs is taken to task. There's also several people throwing the same criticism at the lads over their remarks in a previous episode, with a helicopter and a Wolfe Tones song at its heart. And there is a bizarre choice to be made between a trip up Bray Head (of great consequence) and a unique bathing experience.

Could the lads make a new life for themselves as fugitives? This week they put it to the test as they embark on a new life, on the run, following their escape from Mountjoy. It turns out the fugitives' life is a varied one, taking in Unique Menswear, numerous shopping centres, ready salted crisps and life as a castaway surrounded by strange marsupials.

The lads run war game scenarios on a podcasters Royal Rumble, consider what personality trait they'd consign to humanity's dustbin, Darren's strange alarm habits are exposed again, and one listener wants to raise some serious issues with an idea Joe proposed in a recent episode.

A chance encounter in a pub leads Joe to wonder about life behind bars, which bring us through the history of prison breaks in Ireland and around the world - from helicopters to laundry carts and tunnels. With all of this new found knowledge the lads wonder if they could break out of the big house, and pretty quickly a complex and convoluted plot emerges... Darren also addresses the rumours of his future hosting the Late Late Show, and tells us about his financial run-in with a robot hotel.

Your listener questions come from around the globe this week, and we're thrown into discussing Darren's secret home recipes, some grisly wordplay, serial killer calling cards, and Sky Sports News themed birthday parties.

The lads are back from LA and on reflection it seems they had trips of wildly different fortunes, with Joe left feeling rejected (but not at all bitter) by the Hollywood elite, while Darren returned with tales of robot butlers and a suitcase bulging with the spoils of the soft drink wars. There's also a deep dive into the world of chewing gum and competitive chewing, and Joe is amazed by the cultural differences in different areas of Dublin when it comes to etiquette around shopping trolleys. A few miles can make a world of difference, it seems.

Darren and Joe struggle to decide how far into the future they would like to see and debate the likelihood of winning a dance off against Rihanna. Then, left up to their own devices, they hit the streets of LA and attempt to get the public's opinions.

Darren and Joe ventured outside of Dublin to see what LA has to offer. While there Darren’s childhood dream of re-enacting Little Nicky goes awry because of a chicken shortage and the true extent of Joe’s friendship with Barry Keoghan is revealed. They also get momentarily distracted by the arrival of an ice-cream van.

We wrestle with questions of great philosophical depth, and unmatched nonsensical reasoning, as the morality of injuring grass come to the fore, the pros and cons of life as a cruise ship are considered, and a Dacia Duster poses a potentially lethal question.

We pass through tales of kissing machines (and Joe’s dreams of them), Darren’s run ins with suburban witches, the mystery of friends with secret homes, much misunderstanding of evolution, and Darren’s memories of a childhood career on the milk rounds.

Darren and Joe explore the consequences of psychic abilities and dirty kitchens. Darren argues that a world of vampires would lead to a better social life and Joe insists that he does not lie - And is instantly caught out in his dishonesty.

We go on an odyssey this week, as Darren chases dreams of glory as the owner of Charlestown Athletic F.C, with a motley crew of locals lads and bus drivers setting out on the road to sporting immortality. What begins as an innocent dream soon descends into a tangled web of board room betrayal, wayward footballing geniuses, dodgy signings from Kimmage, extortion and allegations of kidnapping. Can Darren bring Champions League football to Charlestown, or will it all come crumbling down around him? And can Joe be trusted to not sabotage him at every turn?

Darren wrestles with impossible choices that will impact his ability to sit down for five years, while Joe realises just how much he wants to resurrect an iconic Irish venue. There's also calls for the rebirth of a kids TV classic.

We're joined by comedian Peter McGann this week. We look back at the most sinister and disturbing reality TV formats, from unsettling familial relationships to competitive car chases, and Peter predicts Darren & Joe will bring to life a film franchise set (largely) in a haunted house. Joe explains the concept of "the third man", and Darren reveals for the first time his secret past life as a wannabe DJ.

An unexpected visit from the Talking Bollox hosts. They manage to derail the lads from discussing which politician looks the most like a pack of rich tea biscuits, but also reveal Joe's dreams shared, in confidence, at the GoLoud Christmas party.

While Darren is fretting about the costs of a themed wedding, Joe is exploring the history of the sliced pan. There's a plan hatched to set a world record in a particularly Irish discipline, and the lads love of The Last of Us has them asking how the world would change without humans around for the upkeep. Plus there's the realisation that there is far more to the world of competitive Rubik's Cube solving than we anticipated.

Darren & Joe discuss Dublin's best pubs for visitors, a shrine to celebrity in the inner city, Darren's confusion over the finer details of how commerce works, how small moments can put you off a food forever, and their dreams careers in a Last of Us style apocalypse.

The lads are concerned with hereditary maladies and promises of eternal youth, or at least solutions to beat the cankles. Darren’s got Big Brother dreams and, simultaneously, nightmares that reality TV is going to catch up with him, and Joe takes a brief anthropological exploration into the world on app dating.

Your questions have Darren denying he is flexing his influencer status to secure big money discounts on luxury items, while the lads try to offer a listener their wise guidance on a big life problem, and inevitably end up suggesting Jenga.

Barry Keoghan's recent success has Darren questioning if Joe's currently unrequited friendship with Barry is a case of life imitating art, and if Joe might just be a bit dull. Joe counters the suggestion with a story about the daring and haphazard moving of a giant outdoor photo, in what was ultimately an act of (yet more) unrequited friendship. And the lads explore the world of cryptozoology, from the Loch Ness Monster to Bigfoot, and even an Irish beast that may live among us.