Speaking of Sex with The Pleasure Mechanics

Context is perhaps the most important factor in how you experience your sexuality. Context is all of the factors in the external environment AND in your internal landscape that create the story of each moment. Human sexuality is incredibly context dependent – meaning even small changes in the context of an erotic encounter can create […]

We humans are pleasure and rewards seeking animals – we must actively seek out the food, hydration and human connection that sustain us. The Zuckerman Sensation Seeking Scale is one framework that looks at the range of the ways we relate to adventure, novelty, risk and boredom. Developed by psychologist Marvin Zuckerman, Ph.D. in the […]

Social distancing has quickly changed all of our lives – but in very different ways. Some of us are alone, some of us are together with family and no respite in sight. How is social distancing impacting our erotic connections? What parts of social connection – or aloneness – are you missing and yearning for? […]

Mutual Aid is an ethos of care that has risen out of multiple communities – including the disability rights movement & immigrant communities- that invites us to consider our interconnected webs of strengths and vulnerabilities, needs and assets. Rather than relying on “charity” models of giving that maintain power imbalances and systems of harm, we […]

A quick dispatch amidst all of the disruption and overwhelm of the global coronavirus pandemic. Our home ground during this global emergency will be https://www.pleasuremechanics.com/care During this time of global emergency, Pleasure Mechanics online courses are open to all. We can support you with tools & strategies to nourish one another with touch, connect with those […]

Please visit PleasureMechanics.com/care for updated resources on this global emergency – we love you – stay safe, stay connected. This podcast was recorded on March 11, 2020, after we were recovering from family illness during the first few weeks of the global coronavirus outbreaks. As we watch this global situation unfold, this episode is a […]

In this encore of Speaking of Sex episode #178, we discuss the difference in the experience of “making love” vs. “fucking” – which of course is not a simple binary and yet resonates for so many of us. Sometimes, we want tender, emotional and deeply personal sex – “making love.” And sometimes, many of us […]

In this interview, Alexandra Solomon PhD joins us to discuss her new book Taking Sexy Back : How To Own Your Sexuality & Create The Relationships You Want (New Harbinger, 2020) Ready for a masterclass in intimate relationships? Join us in Dr. Solomon’s new online course Intimate Relationships 101 It’s time to flip the script […]

Want more romance? Want your partner to be more romantic? Want to be more romantic and be able to express your love? Let’s start with thinking about what being romantic even means! Beyond the package deal scripts of Valentine’s Day style romance, what does it mean to be more romantic? How can we approach romance […]

We all develop pleasure ruts – our most reliable pathways to pleasure, arousal and orgasm. How do we break out of ruts and find new pleasure pathways? How can we encourage exploration in our relationships – without losing any of the reliable standbys that we might depend on for accessing pleasure? This is an encore […]

We stopped by the Sex Talk With My Mom studios in Los Angeles to talk with our old friends about opening up to pleasure, mindful sex, erection and ejaculation issues, and so much more. We hold nothing back in this candid conversation! This episode originally aired as episode 264 of Sex Talk With My Mom. […]

Savoring is the art of slowing down a moment enough to be fully in it, while it is happening, with presence and gratitude. Fully savoring pleasures of all kinds – from small sensual pleasures to the deepest joys of intimacy and connection – is a skill set that we humans can develop, on purpose, over […]

Feeling disconnected from your partner, and maybe even from yourself? Here is a powerful framework from an award winning couples therapist to help you cultivate more moments of micropleasures into your daily life and loving relationships. Micropleasures are those experiences that bring you pleasure, joy and connection in 60 seconds or less. Love the show? […]

What do you want? This is such a simple question, yet one that can be so hard to answer, especially in the erotic realm. What do you want? This question emerges in all arenas of our life – from the biggest picture questions about family, career and lifestyle to the micro moments of everyday life. […]

As we accept our nomination as finalist for a Sexual Freedom Award, we had the chance to reflect on the really big question: What Is Sexual Freedom? In this episode, we invite you to reflect on sexual freedom – both as an individual and what it means as a global project of social justice. Big […]

The hymen myth tells us that the vagina is sealed off by a freshness seal that is only broken upon first penetration. Upon this myth rests the entire idea of female virginity, sexual purity and many other harmful ideas about sexuality that cause endless shame, fear and suffering. The truth is, the hymen is a […]

If you want to show up for more pleasure, love and connection in life, one of the skills to work on is recalibrating towards pleasure. This means noticing both what you desire AND noticing what you are enduring silently. Do Not Endure. Enduring is all about suffering patiently, and often silently. You do not ever […]

Taking turns in bed is one of the most powerful reframes you can make to gain access to way more pleasure and connection. Taking turns is yet another gift from our erotic massage lineage – on a massage table it is clear how we can take turns giving and receiving touch, centering the needs and […]

How many types of orgasms are there? Are some orgasms more powerful than other orgasms? Do different types of orgasms feel different? How do I have all the different kinds of orgasms? What’s the deal with the g-spot? the a-spot? the p-spot? Do all people have all the spots? Help! We get emails with these […]

Curious about backdoor play? Want to explore the thrilling potential of this highly sensitive area – but don’t want to get hurt? Our approach to anal touch offers 100% pleasure, 100% pain-free stimulation. With a deep respect and understanding of the body, we can access way more erotic pleasure, emotional intimacy and connection. Ready for […]

We are all in constant states of change, growth and transition – so how can we learn to embrace change with a spirit of curiosity and perhaps even passion? On this episode, Lucie Fielding joins us to share her brilliant frameworks about coming into passionate relationship with our embodied sexual selves. Lucie joins us to […]

Sexually frustrated? You are SO not alone. Sexual frustration can be a deeply painful experience, especially when you feel like there is no end in sight! If you feel like you are pent up, shut down, or itching with unmet sexual needs and desires, this episode is for you. Where does sexual frustration come from? […]

If there is no such thing as a sex drive, what is that unmistakable and potent force that moves us, motivates us and pulls us towards the pleasures of erotic exchange? It’s not a drive, it’s desire – the powerful force of wanting, the complex motivational system that allows us to imagine into future states […]

Lost Libidos, Mismatched Libidos, Out Of Control Libidos: Libido problems are the most frequently reported sexual struggle. If you struggle with your libido or sex drive, join us for an intimate conversation with renowned sex therapist Vanessa Marin. We explore a new framework of understanding libido, desire and passion: one that puts each of us […]

Low libido? Loss of libido? Crazy high libido? Mismatched Libido? There are 99 libido problems out there, and many people report struggling with their libido. Libido troubles are one of the leading reasons people seek out the advice of a sex therapist or tune into sex podcasts like this one. But it is time to […]

Did becoming a parent change your erotic life? Of course it did! Kids change everything – your experience of your body, time, freedom, personal space and mental load will never be the same! As parents, our priorities change, and that keeps our species going. But kids don’t have to mean the end of your erotic […]

Erotic massage is one of the most exquisite erotic experiences we have ever known – and it is how we fell in love with one another! Ready to unlock the power of your erotic touch skills? Click here for the Erotic Touch Mastery bundle (with a secret podcast only discount!) In this episode, we share […]

In part 1 of our interview with Joseph Kramer, we learned about how he grew up as a masturbation loving gay boy in the Catholic church and left the Jesuits after receiving his first massage. We discovered the origins of the erotic embodiment practices he gathered as he explored a new way of sharing sexuality […]

Meet our great erotic mentor, Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. and hear the story of how a gay boy born into a Catholic family followed his path to become an erotic pioneer and visionary. In this intimate interview between student and mentor, Joseph Kramer shares his life story about discovering masturbation as a devout Catholic boy, leaving […]

Does your pleasure ever feel stuck at “good enough” – and you can’t quite kick up the intensity when you want to? In this encore episode, we share a ton of techniques for amping up intensity while receiving stimulation. Here we are discussing the specific case of getting enough intensity during oral sex to reach […]

Sex moves! From wild rides to subtle shudders, moving your body during sex is key to unlocking a wide range of erotic experiences. Do you give yourself permission to move freely, or do you sometimes feel stuck in place? In this episode, we explore the importance of movement during sex and give you ideas on […]

What are you hungry for? What do you crave? What do you want so much you can taste it? The fabulous Dawn Serra joins us for a conversation about recovering a joyful relationship to pleasure, desire and hunger. We explore what food and sexuality have in common as arenas of experiencing and realms of both […]

Have you ever talked about the boundaries of your relationship? What does monogamy mean to you? What commitments do you need in a relationship to feel safe and supported? Here’s how to open up the vital conversations about monogamy, relationship boundaries and commitment. We guide you in engaging in thought experiments about non-monogamy as a […]

The queer liberation movement has impacted ALL of our lives in both obvious and subtle ways. We are celebrating the 50 year anniversary of the Stonewall Riots by looking at how the queer liberation movement has generated waves of social change in just one generation. We look at the historical roots of homophobia and how […]

In this episode, Canadian sex therapist and researcher Sarah Hunter Murray joins us to dismantle the myths about male sexuality that are at the root of so much sexual struggle. Her book Not Always In The Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex & Relationships draws from in depth interviews with men to expose the […]

What attitudes do you bring to your sex life? What are your attitudes about gender roles, power dynamics, desire, body parts, hygiene, physical acts, desire, love, pleasure and all of the other factors that influence your sexuality? All of us need some serious attitude adjustments when it comes to sexuality- to move away from the […]

Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin joins us to continue our conversation about female orgasm. This episode continues our conversation about female orgasm with Vanessa Marin, started on Episode 303, The Path To Female Orgasm. The struggle for female orgasm is a cultural issue, not a personal failure. It is essential to locate the conversation about female […]

If you want to have kinkier sex, you are going to want to build some foundational skills long before you ever pick up a toy. The skills of mindful sex – noticing your thoughts without judgment, staying present during the heights of arousal, paying attention to both the internal landscape and to another human’s subtle […]

Mindful Sex May continues with an exploration of what mindful sex practices can offer men struggling with performance anxiety. This is one of the most common sexual struggles for men – you finally have the opportunity to be sexual with a partner, you start to get aroused, and then… worry, anxiety, fear and/or panic start […]

How much attention do you bring to your masturbation? How much creativity do you allow yourself in the time you spend with solo touch? Join us in exploring Mindful Sex – enroll in the Mindful Sex Online Course In this episode we explore Mindful Masturbation – or as our mentor Annie Sprinkle calls it “medibation!” […]

Your body is good enough, sexy enough and you are worthy of limitless pleasure. How easy is it for you to believe that simple statement? For many of us, body shame, insecurities and judgment create a tremendous amount of stress and struggle. We are taught that our bodies will never be good enough, and that […]

You spend a third of your life in bed. Two of the most important activities for your wellbeing – sleep and sex – happen there. So when is the last time you thought about your bedroom and if it is meeting your needs? In this episode, we explore ideas to make your bedroom into a […]

If you find yourself too stressed out for sex, or know that sex gets in the way of your sex life, this episode is for you. Part of our podcast mini series inspired by the book Burnout, this episode explores the crucial step of completing the stress cycle so it doesn’t interfere with your life […]

Do you ever feel like the daily grind is grinding you down? Burnout – the feeling of never enoughness, of being locked in a non-feeling state of perpetual motion, of feeling like there is no candle left to burn from either end – is the lived experience of so many of us. Burnout is real […]

Are you ready? Wet and ready? In this podcast episode we debunk the myths about vaginal wetness, arousal and female engorgement. Get ready to pull apart wetness, arousal, sexual excitation and other important facets of female sexuality (and other vulva owners and those who love them!) Want to get started implementing our proven strategies for […]

We all know communication is essential for healthy relationships and great sex – but how do we begin to level up our erotic communication skills? How do we break through the fear and shame to start talking openly about what we want in bed? Sex coach and author Stella Harris joins us to explore the […]

Your erotic desires may be far more vast than can ever be met in your lifetime. What do we do with desires unfulfilled – so that we can be free to pursue more erotic fulfillment? In this paradox there is a rich terrain of both personal and relational exploration – so you can figure out […]

You have a unique constellation of pleasures, desires and interests that make you who you are. How well do you know your own pleasure constellations? What are the brightest stars that are easy to go after and express, and what pleasures might be dimmed by shame or fear? This episode was inspired by the responses […]

What is attachment theory? How do different attachment styles show up in our most intimate relationships and in our sex lives? Therapist and social justice consultant Aida Manduley joins us to discuss attachment theory and how we can learn about ourselves and our relationships with this powerful tool. Resources Mentioned In This Episode: Wired for […]

If you love when we dive into big ideas about pleasure, sexuality and love, join us for a magical 10 day experience: the Explore More Summit. Enrollment is FREE and we will be right there with you, basking in the brilliance of the 26 other amazing speakers and sharing thoughts on the private Facebook group. […]