Slop Quest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy finds his erotic tastes have become more refined in a way that surprises everyone. Then O’Neill has some existential questions for Andy. Then the boys reminisce about 1980’s Florida. Then they create a XXX comedy trio called The Three Boobs that uses Three Stooges style antics on a porno set. Then Andy’s buddy cleans up by being a Napster DJ in college. Then they rail against the rising cost of car insurance due to expensive novelty cars. Then Andrew has a dysfunctional relationship in college and gets thrown through a door.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On today’s episode we have one of the boys’ best buds of all time, Jerry Rocha's finally on. He details his harrowing battle with stage four cancer that was diagnosed as terminal. This is a brutal, terrifying and tear jerking account that's non stop laughs.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andrew has another dream about Killer Kops. Ryan buys vintage toys. Andy’s dad sings him awake as a child . Then the boys discuss the saddest way to go fishing. Then they revisit the logistics of the “dildo in the hotdog bun” routine. Then there’s a lion that only goes pee peat night time. Then there’s an intense neighborhood situation with Aaron. Then Andy finds a Tesla owner who loves Elon too much. Then they talk about Ned Ludd and finally Pelosi gives an incredible speech.

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill finds out that Japan has a racoon problem and perhaps art imitates life. Then Andy phones O’Neill with a killer idea for the opening scene of Killer Kops. Then Andy tells O’Neill about the secret government Cheese Caves and O’Neill is dubious about it. Then they talk about Crystal Pepsi and come up with a business plan to get guaranteed HJs from a Yoga Instructor.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Mike Black is in the studio again and it’s a fire episode! O’Neill uses his feet to flush toilets. Mike finds a self cleaning toilet in Chicago. Andy pitches a train car hobo podcast and talks about the death of Airwolf. Then Mike makes Andrew talk about Fat Gambit. The boys come up with a tiny penised Lothario who steals women from well endowed men. Then they initiate Mike into the details of their Killer Kops screenplay and then Ryan and Mike lose it while Andy reads an article on “dad privilege”. They also come up a new Big Rock Candy Mountain style song for shitty dads.

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ready for your slop? A man demands his wife have another baby so he can keep breastfeeding himself. O’Neill learns about RFK’s brain worm and loses his marbles at the state of politics in America. Then Andrew finds an article on fathers taking too long taking a dump and Ryan goes nuclear.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan’s leashes new Boeing news on Andy then he heckles ICP at a comedy show. The Rock doesn’t show up for work and pisses in empty water bottle. Andy gets heckled while taking a dump again. Then the boys role play as stolen valor four star generals at the mall. Then Alex Jones is President and has a two hour call in show every day. Finally O’Neill goes crazy on an article about why single moms shouldn’t date single dads. We end about ten minutes early because of s scheduling conflict but well run ten minutes later on the next one so don’t worry! It’s a great episode.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy accidentally drinks a bunch of children’s Benadryl and worries about blacking out on the show. Ryan has a 100 day cough. Scientists are breeding cows that fart less. Ryan reveals a plan that has China eating beans to speed up global warming. Andy solves O’Neill’s jealousy problem with the Hollywood system. A new business idea is born that’s legitimately good. Andy recounts an audition in the buff. Ryan gets a Slop Quest. People love the new name. Ryan is introduced to the lyrics of Shave Em Dry. Then some grandpa gun talk leads to a new buddy cop movie idea that O’Neill absolutely loves.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest (what a name!) we talk about a scary religious dream Andy has about O’Neill. Andy gets tricked by fake news again. Aaron’s mom is embroiled in some serious celebrity worship. Speaking of religion, Reddit gets mad at a religious post we made and leaves even more detailed comments. Then they talk about the secret karate moves of Jesus, bean talk and Dubai flooding. Then O’Neill tempts Obama fate again. It’s a sloppy, sloppy time.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy hears some of the ads YouTube inserts into the middle of our free video and the timing is incredible. O’Neill and Aaron bond over the piss drinking monkey idea again which upsets Andy. A drone spies on O’Neill while HE pees. A museum guard hangs up his own painting and gets fired prompting a discussion of whether or not hanging an unauthorized nude painting of yourself counts as flashing. Then a quote from O’Neill angers a fan and it becomes a Whazzup Man of Reddit post.

O’Neill is back from the road with stories about drinking 184 beers , destroying toilets and being kicked out of museums. Andrew finds out a shocking revelation about his local robotic Whole Foods. Ryan burns off his eyebrows doing a fire walk and Andy explains to him how wires are not fake. Then Aaron and Ryan team up against Andy in their support of the “Truck Pee Monkey” . And Aaron has a hoverboard door to door salesman show up.

https://www.factor75.com/ USE CODE: Beachcops50 and get 50% off. Mike Black joins the dudes for a wild ride. They debate everything from dildo length, bigfoot, gay strip clubs, 80's movies, The Duke Boys vs. Magnum P.I. and so much more. We also may have finally solved the mystery of Aaron's 5 AM porkers. It's an explosive episode with far-reaching ramifications.

I hope you're ready to learn about male lactation cause that's our opener. Even Nate Diaz stops by to discuss it with us. Then we hop right into some Tony Robbins talk. After that, it's more corporate murders. Then Andrew talks about one of the stupidest people that ever lived. After that, Andy's neighbor tries to bang him or does she? You be the judge. Then O'Neill makes up his own demon to pray to for good luck. Also, Aaron sends us an alarming text, so tighten your suspenders cause we're on the highway to the danger zone.

This week we're back in the old O'Neill family studio. We open with some DeWitt physical therapy talk and he reveals a shocking revelation. Then we discuss Boeing's new assassination program. After that, it's Goggins' time. Then a shower kills a man. After that, we find out about a shoplifting ring bust right in our own backyard. Then it's time to save the hole. It's fun, it's fresh and it's time to eat. Come get the slop!

FULL EP@https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy has spinal poverty and needs to go to physical therapy. Aaron comes back from The Big Easy with some wild stories. O’Neill scares Aaron and Andy about jury duty. Andy repitches Mommy Milkers for serious feedback and Aaron thinks it’s actually pretty good. Ryan makes fun of Andy for needing to watch the Hulk episode of Mr Roger’s then he insists that women are dirtier than dudes. Then O’Neill tells ghost stories that infuriate Andy. Then O’Neill raps about Andy’s spiders of light with Aaron doing the backing vocal track.

https://www.factor75.com/ CODE: BEACHCOPS50 GET 50% OFFOn this episode of The Pork Report, Andy’s aunt accidentally posts an AI picture of a vagina in space on her Facebook page believing it to be a telescope photo of a black hole, his porno friend tries to drive him to Mexico to get wiener stem cells and Aaron’s neighbor starts an indoor dog gymnasium. Then Ryan blows the lid off the gay lion story and they write a strongly worded letter to the official who accused gay people of corrupting the lions. Also, Andy tries to get O’Neill to listen to his new pitch for the novel “Dolores”.

On today’s episode of the pork report, Ryan and Andrew discuss New breaking news about P. Diddy. Then they find out that a lot of boomer musicians were real creepers . Andy finds a Scottish AI Wonka themed immersive experience that is truly dog Dookie. Finally Aaron has a softball update that will hit you right in the chest.

O’Neill talks medical strikes in South Korea, Andrew gets advice on how to fix his back finally. Then they talk about the Civil War and O’Neill draws a hard line in the sand. We help Peppertooth with more magical incantations for his Dungeons and Dragons campaign and O’Neill invents several drug based businesses and they use a cellphone stenographer to try and capture some of their amazing ideas.

Head to https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=BEACHCOPS50&mealsize=8-1&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads&discount_comm_id=7267f20b-a39f-4440-9ca2-1404329a2b419&dis_channel=audio and get 50% off with code BEACHCOPS50. FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy is the bionic Rite Aid man, more toilet twerking occurs, and we help a listener buy medical equipment on Amazon. There’s some live GERDing, Ryan bullies a kid in Taekwondo and gets threatened by the teacher, Andrew gets a swirly from his karate instructor and they work on a Chinese action movie idea. It’s a tor du force in the new ATC studios!

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio with some more slop! Andy has a lot of female friends who think they can sell feet pics, Ryan pulls a gun on Ranaziz, and Andy remembers the most insane swashbuckling movie of all time, Zorro The Gay Blade. O‘Neill‘s mom gets scammed and makes $20 bucks. Andy gets stoner scammed and loses $40. Then they talk scrap metal and an amazing horror movie premise!

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Big Earl Skakel is finally back and it’s a wiiiiiiiiild ride. O’Neill talks about his documentary project with What Up Pete and Earl himself. Then we talk Vince McMahon doodie accusations, dramatic readings of sleazeball texts and for some reason Earl re-enacts funny scenes from the 1970’s sitcom “The White Shadow”. Then the boys roast his old toilet and it gives Earl a boner then they help him write some new jokes. Wow, it’s a tour de force episode!

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Sooey! It’s the Pork Report and it’s time for your slop! Ryan tests everyone for psychopathy using this one weird trick. Then they talk AI girlfriends, a company that pays for doodies, and OF bikini farm work by O’Neill. Andy talks about the South Carolina Lizard Man and his grandma scaring him with Raw Head Bloody Bones. Then a Satanic cult raises its head in a beautiful neighborhood.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of the Pork Report we have more of the sloppiest news you can use! 10 foot aliens, Oprah has a body double, and we start multiple amazing screenplay ideas. O’Neill races to finish a seafood tower in a mere hour and half. Then he plans a seafood based crowd work only comedy special. One of Aaron’s family members wins a car. And he never gets to see it. There’s some serious fondue talk. Then the boys do a deep dive on the great TruckNuts war and can’t get enough of the business buffoonery. It’s a great one!

FULL EPISODES @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The dudes are back and it's guns a blazing! First they talk about fluoride french fries. Then it's airplane disasters. After that they jump into tick bites that result in a pickle of predicament. Then it's softball talk, Tony Hawk and Jesse Ventura joins the show. Come one, come all, it's The Pork Report.

SPECIAL FREE EPISODE! MORE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We're back in the old studio while Aaron and ATC close for the holidays. And honestly, it's great to be back! We quickly stumble into chimpanzee nut smugglers. Then we visit the worst person on YouTube. After that, it's a deep dive into the history of truck nuts. Then we reach our magnum opus, an invention that might change the world for the better...it's the ultimate car alarm for the homophobic car thief. Strap in, hunker down and let your mind go limp cause The Pork Report has got the wheel. Enjoy!

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops In this episode of the ground breaking journalistic power house of The Pork Report, the boys discuss disposable corn meal beds for hotels and the ensuing rat problem that surely to follow. Then it's super pigs from Canada and the American weaponry that might save us. O’Neill reveals the most dangerous day of the year for wieners and a baked bean factory ends up with rubber balls in the beans! Also, Aaron wins more softball tournaments and cements his legacy as the greatest player the game has ever seen.

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio and breaking incredible news. First up, O’Neill talks about a new scourge facing humanity, dolphins with thumbs. We talk about the forgotten Christmas movie, Invasion USA, men who don’t buy toilet paper for their girlfriends then Ryan creates another toilet based trampoline idea. Then Andrew reveals medical procedures he has performed. Ryan uses this to volunteer him to save lives on flights. The boys start a new business for straight shooting medical advice. Then they come up with a new Elf on The Shelf variant.

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The Pork Report is hitting its stride! O’Neill is back from Cambodia where he was all the children’s lucky charm. He also has unbelievable food deals and peanuts that make you take a dump in your pants. DeWitt springs a new theme song on O’Neill as well as a creamy new Christmas video. Then Ryan talks about a drunk Santa fresh from prison that his dad brought over. Andy’s grandpa hands him a collection of loaded rifles to play with on Christmas that nearly got him killed as a child. Then we get a Christmas visit from Rowdy Uncle Ronnie.

Listen to the full episode @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/ FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets and the forgotten 80’s classic “Baby: Secret of The Lost Legend” and how Andy was forced to study cryptids at elementary school. Andy finds out about the Sasquatch “gifting rock” and Ryan debuts a 1970’s gem “Bigfoot and Wildboy” and it’s truly unbelievable. Then we hear O’Neill on a legit baseball bat commercial which leads to an amazing Aaron underdog softball story!

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsA homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a “broccoli mission” dream that Andy tries to decode. Danish finds out about the urban legend of the Death Cat. A caller leaves a scary message that Andy initially doubts but later believes. Also, Ryan finds the ceiling of the podcast and measures it.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsSomeone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper. Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang talks Book Fair books, school stores, and Little Caesar’s Pan-Pan. Also, Andrew recounts a story of being jumped in elementary school and using his fat to his advantage. O’Neill intelligently breaks down how the insults of 4th graders wouldn’t hurt as much as an adult. Then, they argue about the size of ships in a bottle. After that, they invent new types of rum that would feature Andy as a mascot figure dressed as a little Dutch boy. They finally talk about South American/Mexican alien mummies, which inspires O’Neill to try speaking Spanish. Then, Andy reads comments on the Whazzup Man of Reddit AITA.

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use code 60beachcops to get 60% off plus free shipping. GreenChef: “The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well”To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAaron has an insane divorce story from his neighborhood. We offer him a series of Crunchwrap based gambits and see what he’ll take. Andy’s neighbor washes his clothes with a hose and uses adult diapers for the craziest thing. Aaron’s neighbor tries to give him meat. Andy does more back-pain talk, and the fans weigh in. Then, he gets on the floor and does stretches.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Another fantastic, classy, dignified episode of the Pork Report with Ryan and Andrew. Andy buys a soundboard for a dollar and immediately gets decision fatigue. Andrew and Ryan try to create a game show called “Read O’Neill’s Mind”, but it doesn’t pan out. Then, they talk Cadbury turkeys and nacho cheese turkeys. Andy shows O’Neill Gymkata for the first time, and they brainstorm more Olympic-based action films.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Ryan talks about politicians working way past the retirement point, and Aaron recounts amazing movies. Then, O’Neill and DeWitt create an action movie called Pork Chops about karate police partners who fight children.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThe gang discusses a brand new business idea, where Andy dresses as a pig and lays in a trough, while O’Neill acts as a barker for people who are tired of waiting in lines for the porta-potties at music festivals. Then, a firefighter hero sends in an incredible video, and we make the case for higher pay for some of our country’s bravest workers.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Jeff is out of town, so to keep it together, DeWitt and O’Neill decide to ditch the cargo shorts and dress up like two true gentlemen. O’Neill asks Andy to plunder-wash his laundry for $1.75. Aaron gets “kind of“ horny. Andy’s friend Burt stays up all night dreaming of $50,000. O’Neill and Andy role play a car dealership where Andy keeps being mistaken for a woman. O’Neill roasts character testimonies for Danny Masterson. Then, it’s business ideas galore! Including their own character witness testimony business.

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use the code 60beachcops to get 60% off and free shipping. Green Chef: "The #1 meal kit for eating well"! To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndrew needs to be hypnotized to fall asleep and also can’t keep in touch with his relatives on the East coast. Ryan takes umbrage with the lyrics to ”Bongos” and tries to rewrite them. Danish recaps an emotionally abusive new 90 Day Fiancé. Andrew asks the gang a hypothetical question, and then it’s Danish and O’Neill vs Andy in a TLC reality show pitch off.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Listeners come together to write O’Neill an open letter one line at a time to get him to stop his bad boy zone behavior. The letter predictably goes off the rails. After that, the gang explains an idea DeWitt and O'Neill once had to Aaron. Andy’s back goes out again, as Danish shows a beautiful horse, which Ryan thinks is a psyop. Then, they talk about the diarrhea plane.

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS and use the code HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this one, the gang debates if there is ever a “charming” way to blast a big old beefer in front of a potential significant other to score points. Once again, Ryan gives sound dating advice, and the boys test their knowledge of the states and capitals, while Danish plays cannon sound effects over them. It’s a good one!

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThis one starts with the gang recovering from the horrific Hurricane Hilary. Aaron gets a controversial text from a famous comedian. Ryan tries to come up with a new Desert Eagle business, and Danish creates a hypothetical cartel art career for Andy. They debate the best ingredients for traditional ancient medicine. Then, Andy makes AI tell O’Neill he’s a very bad boy. AI doesn't stop there - it tells O'Neill the terrible fate he's facing if he doesn't change his bad boy ways.

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, O’Neill has some tough but fair relationship advice for a morgue employee. Also, O’Neill talks horror movies. Andrew discusses his intense ballet training and then he proves he has a 12 inch vert. Danish and O’Neill make him post to Reddit’s AITA, and he’s too scared to do it.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron tells us about a styrofoam jail from his youth. Ryan grills Andy about a Disney audition that featured adult content. Danish reveals Obama’s secret naughty letters, and the gang has some insane theories. Then, they talk about the underrated TV show, Alien Nation. And, Andrew shows everyone his new DIY washing machine.

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy is recovering from Covid, and the Codeine darkness has his soul. Danish has some shocking manatee news, and O’Neill can’t stand a restaurant that serves gross ice cream. Plus, a new mash-up song of shame is revealed.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndy brings in Nerf guns, and it makes the opening of the show extremely chaotic. Then, he gets (fake) cheese lip so bad it gives him a lip pimple. He also has some new surf tales and claims he popped the supposed lip pimple boogie boarding. O’Neill makes fun of Andy’s favorite spice shoppe. After that, there’s more Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire improv. Ronald Reagan drops in on them. Danish introduces Andy to Ice Spice via Obama’s new playlist. Ryan then raps about his juicy buttocks.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan goes hiking drunk, Andrew recounts an old story about Taco Bell Gorditas that goes wrong. A dude gets shown racy pictures on a plane by a lady, and Air Marshal Andrew catches them. Danish reads a political article about farts. Then, they find out about one of the funniest police evidence seizures of all time.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill has a family incident with fireworks and then launches so many Roman candles he looks like a chimney sweep. Then, the gang imagines Andy’s "pirate" teaming up with Somali pirates. There’s some more black powder talk. After, there’s some AI talk mixed with some Scottish Lords talk that gets derailed by a "special" headstand request from O’Neill. The gang imagines what would happen if Jehovah’s Witness ladies were super turned-on, while Aaron critiques their conversion rates. Aaron breaks down all of Jeff Dunham’s puppets, and the gang goes nuts.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andrew “thinks” he saw an extremely tall lady adult film being filmed in an alley. Someone’s wife goofs through the metal security door and then her and Andy do prairie dog noises, while O’Neill is on the toilet. Andy finds out about an AI app that generates erotic stories and goes nuts with it and toys with the idea of using it as a wonderful anniversary gift. Then, they use the app to make a story about Ryan and Aaron kissing. Andy seeks validation for his robot model from a very unlikely source. Danish gets a heartfelt email from a fan and Dementia Ronald Reagan gives him some solid love advice.