Slop Quest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys get banned from every single short story subreddit on the internet. The Whassup Man of Reddit tries to post his old spooky story on Reddit and people get pissed. Then O’Neill suggest they post their spooky stories on assassins’ forums on the dark web. Then they talk robotaxi nonsense. Then they make Aaron read the spoooky story and he makes Andy choke when he gives the story his rating. Then they create a version of the sitcom Home Improvement where Al gets dark. Then there’s some very critical HOA talk. Then there’s a spooky Halloween HOA story teaser everyone will enjoy!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill is furious that people believed aliens did cattle mutilations. Then Andrew is equally furious when identical twins are not revealed and the boys write a Randy Newman song about it. O’Neill thinks it is a million dollar idea. Then they talk about how to use 700 lb kids to protect classrooms. Then Andy introduces Ryan to the Alternate History subreddit and it makes him very sad. Then Aaron has an unbelievable theatrical experience. And Ryan explains his crashing of his old school’s graduation.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys debate which drugs count as party drugs. Andy has cocaine on his toenail but won’t come clean about it. The gang fondly recounts Ari Shaffir doodie stories. Andy finds out that Apple Podcasts had been transcribing portions of the show as “fun” previews to entice people but they look even more unhinged. Ryan is back from Skankfest with some news! Then he recounts his next door neighbors fighting relentlessly, a dog pisses all over O’Neill’s feet and a YouTube comment blows him away. Andy gets a new job painting lady dongs. Then Andy has sex ed from a nun and she won’t answer any of his questions. Then they both reminisce about setting fires as children.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill is frantic to get all the facts about Diddy’s sex parties and he’s full of plenty of “I Told You So’s”. Then Andy and Ryan come up with a way to get away with nearly anything legally. Then O’Neill blows Andy’s mind when he tells him there’s buttfuckin’ at the rub and tug. Then there’s some pilot talk. Then they come up with a new business idea of hunting down short make celebrities and spanking them. Then they come up with a fool proof way to cheat on someone that falls apart completely under the tiniest scrutiny. Then it’s time to vote on the Toy Hall of Fame. Then the boys remember the late great Eric Hites.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy tries to buy O’Neill some fake Christmas skis. Then he gets shamed for wanting to go short skiing. There’s some ball eating parrot talk. Then they talk about having a clear room for priests so they’re not up to no good. Aaron’s confessional priest had Cheeto’s breath. O’Neill refuses communion because of ocd then he humble brags about how much ass he could kick in Hell. Then Andy gets political about American blow jobs while O’Neill talks about trying to make VooDoo the new mainstream religion. Andrew gets tricked by a Hare Krishna and then by a ninjutsu master. Then RFK beheads a whale and O’Neill loses his mind about it.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan gets run off the road and tries cat meat for breakfast. Big Earl dances in a cage with pee pee stains on his undies. Andrew remembers the time he drank 18 Hornsby’ s Hard Apple Ciders and later having to go to campus alcohol counseling. Ryan wants to build and Android body guard. Then they talk about banging in the Peace Corps and how to make the most of it. Then fans leave Amazon reviews mentioning Slop Quest and they are 100% pure gold.

FREE EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy and Ryan barely survive the Southern California heatwave until O’Neill decides to go jogging in 110 degree heat. Then Andy finds out about a new juicy class action lawsuit of dorks versus Only Fans chat services. Ryan decides on what books to read based on the number of pages they are. There’s some chimp talk then medieval dudes wear backwards hats. Then we try to use parody laws to get away with any illegal. Then Aaron gets into a brutal softball situation with some bad hombres. Finally, we get an amazing Gathering of The Juggalos report from deep on the scene.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The show opens with Ryan chastising Andy for being distracted, then shows him a spider bite that hasn’t healed and may be giving him powers. Then Ryan contemplates performing self surgery to open his spider wound and see what’s inside. Then Ryan has an idea to help people that Andy find extremely questionable. The boys then break down Bill Gates’ insane insistence that he be allowed to keep hanging out with Epstein. Andy finds a family that gets poisoned by AI. Then Andy takes the lion’s share of an emotional damages court finding over O’Neill’s death then he stumps Ryan with a Shakespeare quote. There’s some race car belt talk that leads to belt business ideas. Ryan tries to do a dental cleaning on Andy with no gloves. Then they talk about how to keep tricking their wives into finding them attractive. And finally, Big Earl misses the Big Game.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with the Secret Service taking a dump in Ryan’s apartment. Then he freaks out about having to help a president or vice president take a dump outside as a secret service agent. The O’Neill rewatches the Police Academy kids’ cartoon and they talk about other rated R movie properties that got turned into children’s shows. Then they go through the staggering amount of Police Academy productions that came out in a row. O’Neill’s buddy ends up on Porter County Cops a localized version of “Cops”. Then Andy finds a hilarious medical device on Amazon that is so horribly translated that they can help but read all the instructions. Then they talk about idiotic bank robbing strategies. Andy’s friend can’t drive stick and has a panic attack on the highway driving a muscle car. Then our good pal Tracy finds a “Psychic Defense” class and the gang goes crazy!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with a sleep deprived DeWitt and O’Neill insists he’s on cocaine. We go on an audio tour of Big Earl’s neighborhood. Then we write an amazing love story starring O’Neill and a homeless lady. Then the boys find out that their movies are being titty censored by advertiser friendly big tech. Andy talks about Logitech floating the idea of monthly computer mouse . Then Andy and O’Neill can’t stop seeing horrific Twitter racism , Faces of Death style nightmares and porno spam bots in their feeds. Then they start fake rumors about politicians and they try to find the Bang Bus.

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy has ground breaking information on Confucius that makes Ryan very angry. Then Andrew Tate’s manhood disappears. Ryan talks about how whiskey has hurt the manhood of many different societies. Then Andrew misremembers the Quizno’s Sponge Monkeys. This spurs a new ad campaign for Saab. Then Andy makes up a series of male cologne names. Then O’Neill tries to deliver the famous speech from The Princess Bride. Then the boys talk about how a woman should compliment a man. Ryan writes a sequel to Good Will Hunting. Then they talk ADA glory holes.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill starts the episode with new Southern church phrases, then brags about how much micro plastics are in his nuts. Then Andy introduces O’Neill to the hilarious philosophy behind “The Married Red Pill”. O’Neill roasts the entire thing the way only O’Neill can. This inspires new business plans the boys really enjoy. Aaron has an amazing neighborhood update. O’Neill breaks his no doodie rule for a special occasion. Then the boys debate whether or not sneaky New Yorkers could bang midwestern farmer’s wives without being caught and tortured in a barn. Then Carl shoots Urkel.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys open strong with a DC Comics pitch about Batman’s butler, Alfred, pissing his pants constantly and trying to cover it up. Then Andy remembers all of NOFX’s lyrics all at once after he forgot about the band. Then Andy and Ryan come up with The Bad Boy Business Brothers who make online business courses which includes asserting your dominance in the office via leg humping. Then Aaron blows us away with his pitch for replacing Alfred from Batman with Alf. It’s fantastic.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Big Earl Skakel is back in the studio and there’s nothing but classic Earl talk. In other words, obscure name drops from the late 70’s, obscure name drops from the 80’s, body building talk, BBW horn doggin’, political talk, and his plans for his new special! It’s an amazing, classic Big Earl SLOPISODE!

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest Andy gets some amazing encouragement about Dolores (don’t worry, people who hate it, he doesn’t read it or try to write any more on air). Then the boys come up with an amazing “all you can eat erotic Chinese buffet for bachelorettes only featuring themed funny foods”. Then they try to get past the censors for the Sunday comics page with some sneaky word play. Then Andrew does an impression of Ryan as conspiracy theorist talk show host. Then Aaron is tired of Maddie Bosch. Then Burt saves a drunk guy’s life. The boys propose moving the White House to the middle of America. An OF chick enrages Andrew by photoshopping the choicest bits. Aaron catches a guy peeing on a plane. And Ryan is gross when he stays at hotels.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy writes the entire first chapter of Dolores and it causes him to have a real psychic connection to Aaron. One of Andy’s friends tricks him into saying hi to a fake Stephen King. Then they talk about old times out door “dogging’. Then they talk walking sticks. Then Andrew tells the tragic story of Death Mole. Then O’Neill wants to replace the White House janitors with a “topless maid” service to save money. Then Andrew reveals how Dolores affected the people closest to him.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys try to stay clean for the algorithmic gods for the first 10 minutes and fail miserably. Then Andy an amazing water park idea. Ryan and Andy argue about the appeal of the old hawk tuah. They research the invention of the fictional “robot voice” then they deep dive on one of the craziest topics ever , realistic, historically accurate Bronze Age British versus Roman beef. This argument gets heated, and historical! Then O’Neill comes up with a Bronze Age reality show. Then the deep dive on a mom’s website and there’s some business call talk. It’s great!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy finds his erotic tastes have become more refined in a way that surprises everyone. Then O’Neill has some existential questions for Andy. Then the boys reminisce about 1980’s Florida. Then they create a XXX comedy trio called The Three Boobs that uses Three Stooges style antics on a porno set. Then Andy’s buddy cleans up by being a Napster DJ in college. Then they rail against the rising cost of car insurance due to expensive novelty cars. Then Andrew has a dysfunctional relationship in college and gets thrown through a door.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On today’s episode we have one of the boys’ best buds of all time, Jerry Rocha's finally on. He details his harrowing battle with stage four cancer that was diagnosed as terminal. This is a brutal, terrifying and tear jerking account that's non stop laughs.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andrew has another dream about Killer Kops. Ryan buys vintage toys. Andy’s dad sings him awake as a child . Then the boys discuss the saddest way to go fishing. Then they revisit the logistics of the “dildo in the hotdog bun” routine. Then there’s a lion that only goes pee peat night time. Then there’s an intense neighborhood situation with Aaron. Then Andy finds a Tesla owner who loves Elon too much. Then they talk about Ned Ludd and finally Pelosi gives an incredible speech.

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill finds out that Japan has a racoon problem and perhaps art imitates life. Then Andy phones O’Neill with a killer idea for the opening scene of Killer Kops. Then Andy tells O’Neill about the secret government Cheese Caves and O’Neill is dubious about it. Then they talk about Crystal Pepsi and come up with a business plan to get guaranteed HJs from a Yoga Instructor.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Mike Black is in the studio again and it’s a fire episode! O’Neill uses his feet to flush toilets. Mike finds a self cleaning toilet in Chicago. Andy pitches a train car hobo podcast and talks about the death of Airwolf. Then Mike makes Andrew talk about Fat Gambit. The boys come up with a tiny penised Lothario who steals women from well endowed men. Then they initiate Mike into the details of their Killer Kops screenplay and then Ryan and Mike lose it while Andy reads an article on “dad privilege”. They also come up a new Big Rock Candy Mountain style song for shitty dads.

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ready for your slop? A man demands his wife have another baby so he can keep breastfeeding himself. O’Neill learns about RFK’s brain worm and loses his marbles at the state of politics in America. Then Andrew finds an article on fathers taking too long taking a dump and Ryan goes nuclear.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan’s leashes new Boeing news on Andy then he heckles ICP at a comedy show. The Rock doesn’t show up for work and pisses in empty water bottle. Andy gets heckled while taking a dump again. Then the boys role play as stolen valor four star generals at the mall. Then Alex Jones is President and has a two hour call in show every day. Finally O’Neill goes crazy on an article about why single moms shouldn’t date single dads. We end about ten minutes early because of s scheduling conflict but well run ten minutes later on the next one so don’t worry! It’s a great episode.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy accidentally drinks a bunch of children’s Benadryl and worries about blacking out on the show. Ryan has a 100 day cough. Scientists are breeding cows that fart less. Ryan reveals a plan that has China eating beans to speed up global warming. Andy solves O’Neill’s jealousy problem with the Hollywood system. A new business idea is born that’s legitimately good. Andy recounts an audition in the buff. Ryan gets a Slop Quest. People love the new name. Ryan is introduced to the lyrics of Shave Em Dry. Then some grandpa gun talk leads to a new buddy cop movie idea that O’Neill absolutely loves.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest (what a name!) we talk about a scary religious dream Andy has about O’Neill. Andy gets tricked by fake news again. Aaron’s mom is embroiled in some serious celebrity worship. Speaking of religion, Reddit gets mad at a religious post we made and leaves even more detailed comments. Then they talk about the secret karate moves of Jesus, bean talk and Dubai flooding. Then O’Neill tempts Obama fate again. It’s a sloppy, sloppy time.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy hears some of the ads YouTube inserts into the middle of our free video and the timing is incredible. O’Neill and Aaron bond over the piss drinking monkey idea again which upsets Andy. A drone spies on O’Neill while HE pees. A museum guard hangs up his own painting and gets fired prompting a discussion of whether or not hanging an unauthorized nude painting of yourself counts as flashing. Then a quote from O’Neill angers a fan and it becomes a Whazzup Man of Reddit post.

O’Neill is back from the road with stories about drinking 184 beers , destroying toilets and being kicked out of museums. Andrew finds out a shocking revelation about his local robotic Whole Foods. Ryan burns off his eyebrows doing a fire walk and Andy explains to him how wires are not fake. Then Aaron and Ryan team up against Andy in their support of the “Truck Pee Monkey” . And Aaron has a hoverboard door to door salesman show up.

https://www.factor75.com/ USE CODE: Beachcops50 and get 50% off. Mike Black joins the dudes for a wild ride. They debate everything from dildo length, bigfoot, gay strip clubs, 80's movies, The Duke Boys vs. Magnum P.I. and so much more. We also may have finally solved the mystery of Aaron's 5 AM porkers. It's an explosive episode with far-reaching ramifications.

I hope you're ready to learn about male lactation cause that's our opener. Even Nate Diaz stops by to discuss it with us. Then we hop right into some Tony Robbins talk. After that, it's more corporate murders. Then Andrew talks about one of the stupidest people that ever lived. After that, Andy's neighbor tries to bang him or does she? You be the judge. Then O'Neill makes up his own demon to pray to for good luck. Also, Aaron sends us an alarming text, so tighten your suspenders cause we're on the highway to the danger zone.

This week we're back in the old O'Neill family studio. We open with some DeWitt physical therapy talk and he reveals a shocking revelation. Then we discuss Boeing's new assassination program. After that, it's Goggins' time. Then a shower kills a man. After that, we find out about a shoplifting ring bust right in our own backyard. Then it's time to save the hole. It's fun, it's fresh and it's time to eat. Come get the slop!

FULL EP@https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy has spinal poverty and needs to go to physical therapy. Aaron comes back from The Big Easy with some wild stories. O’Neill scares Aaron and Andy about jury duty. Andy repitches Mommy Milkers for serious feedback and Aaron thinks it’s actually pretty good. Ryan makes fun of Andy for needing to watch the Hulk episode of Mr Roger’s then he insists that women are dirtier than dudes. Then O’Neill tells ghost stories that infuriate Andy. Then O’Neill raps about Andy’s spiders of light with Aaron doing the backing vocal track.

https://www.factor75.com/ CODE: BEACHCOPS50 GET 50% OFFOn this episode of The Pork Report, Andy’s aunt accidentally posts an AI picture of a vagina in space on her Facebook page believing it to be a telescope photo of a black hole, his porno friend tries to drive him to Mexico to get wiener stem cells and Aaron’s neighbor starts an indoor dog gymnasium. Then Ryan blows the lid off the gay lion story and they write a strongly worded letter to the official who accused gay people of corrupting the lions. Also, Andy tries to get O’Neill to listen to his new pitch for the novel “Dolores”.

On today’s episode of the pork report, Ryan and Andrew discuss New breaking news about P. Diddy. Then they find out that a lot of boomer musicians were real creepers . Andy finds a Scottish AI Wonka themed immersive experience that is truly dog Dookie. Finally Aaron has a softball update that will hit you right in the chest.

O’Neill talks medical strikes in South Korea, Andrew gets advice on how to fix his back finally. Then they talk about the Civil War and O’Neill draws a hard line in the sand. We help Peppertooth with more magical incantations for his Dungeons and Dragons campaign and O’Neill invents several drug based businesses and they use a cellphone stenographer to try and capture some of their amazing ideas.

Head to https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=BEACHCOPS50&mealsize=8-1&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads&discount_comm_id=7267f20b-a39f-4440-9ca2-1404329a2b419&dis_channel=audio and get 50% off with code BEACHCOPS50. FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy is the bionic Rite Aid man, more toilet twerking occurs, and we help a listener buy medical equipment on Amazon. There’s some live GERDing, Ryan bullies a kid in Taekwondo and gets threatened by the teacher, Andrew gets a swirly from his karate instructor and they work on a Chinese action movie idea. It’s a tor du force in the new ATC studios!

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio with some more slop! Andy has a lot of female friends who think they can sell feet pics, Ryan pulls a gun on Ranaziz, and Andy remembers the most insane swashbuckling movie of all time, Zorro The Gay Blade. O‘Neill‘s mom gets scammed and makes $20 bucks. Andy gets stoner scammed and loses $40. Then they talk scrap metal and an amazing horror movie premise!

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Big Earl Skakel is finally back and it’s a wiiiiiiiiild ride. O’Neill talks about his documentary project with What Up Pete and Earl himself. Then we talk Vince McMahon doodie accusations, dramatic readings of sleazeball texts and for some reason Earl re-enacts funny scenes from the 1970’s sitcom “The White Shadow”. Then the boys roast his old toilet and it gives Earl a boner then they help him write some new jokes. Wow, it’s a tour de force episode!

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Sooey! It’s the Pork Report and it’s time for your slop! Ryan tests everyone for psychopathy using this one weird trick. Then they talk AI girlfriends, a company that pays for doodies, and OF bikini farm work by O’Neill. Andy talks about the South Carolina Lizard Man and his grandma scaring him with Raw Head Bloody Bones. Then a Satanic cult raises its head in a beautiful neighborhood.

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of the Pork Report we have more of the sloppiest news you can use! 10 foot aliens, Oprah has a body double, and we start multiple amazing screenplay ideas. O’Neill races to finish a seafood tower in a mere hour and half. Then he plans a seafood based crowd work only comedy special. One of Aaron’s family members wins a car. And he never gets to see it. There’s some serious fondue talk. Then the boys do a deep dive on the great TruckNuts war and can’t get enough of the business buffoonery. It’s a great one!

FULL EPISODES @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The dudes are back and it's guns a blazing! First they talk about fluoride french fries. Then it's airplane disasters. After that they jump into tick bites that result in a pickle of predicament. Then it's softball talk, Tony Hawk and Jesse Ventura joins the show. Come one, come all, it's The Pork Report.

SPECIAL FREE EPISODE! MORE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We're back in the old studio while Aaron and ATC close for the holidays. And honestly, it's great to be back! We quickly stumble into chimpanzee nut smugglers. Then we visit the worst person on YouTube. After that, it's a deep dive into the history of truck nuts. Then we reach our magnum opus, an invention that might change the world for the better...it's the ultimate car alarm for the homophobic car thief. Strap in, hunker down and let your mind go limp cause The Pork Report has got the wheel. Enjoy!

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops In this episode of the ground breaking journalistic power house of The Pork Report, the boys discuss disposable corn meal beds for hotels and the ensuing rat problem that surely to follow. Then it's super pigs from Canada and the American weaponry that might save us. O’Neill reveals the most dangerous day of the year for wieners and a baked bean factory ends up with rubber balls in the beans! Also, Aaron wins more softball tournaments and cements his legacy as the greatest player the game has ever seen.

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio and breaking incredible news. First up, O’Neill talks about a new scourge facing humanity, dolphins with thumbs. We talk about the forgotten Christmas movie, Invasion USA, men who don’t buy toilet paper for their girlfriends then Ryan creates another toilet based trampoline idea. Then Andrew reveals medical procedures he has performed. Ryan uses this to volunteer him to save lives on flights. The boys start a new business for straight shooting medical advice. Then they come up with a new Elf on The Shelf variant.

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The Pork Report is hitting its stride! O’Neill is back from Cambodia where he was all the children’s lucky charm. He also has unbelievable food deals and peanuts that make you take a dump in your pants. DeWitt springs a new theme song on O’Neill as well as a creamy new Christmas video. Then Ryan talks about a drunk Santa fresh from prison that his dad brought over. Andy’s grandpa hands him a collection of loaded rifles to play with on Christmas that nearly got him killed as a child. Then we get a Christmas visit from Rowdy Uncle Ronnie.

Listen to the full episode @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/ FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets and the forgotten 80’s classic “Baby: Secret of The Lost Legend” and how Andy was forced to study cryptids at elementary school. Andy finds out about the Sasquatch “gifting rock” and Ryan debuts a 1970’s gem “Bigfoot and Wildboy” and it’s truly unbelievable. Then we hear O’Neill on a legit baseball bat commercial which leads to an amazing Aaron underdog softball story!

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsA homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a “broccoli mission” dream that Andy tries to decode. Danish finds out about the urban legend of the Death Cat. A caller leaves a scary message that Andy initially doubts but later believes. Also, Ryan finds the ceiling of the podcast and measures it.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsSomeone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper. Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.