
Sisters In Sobriety
153 episodes — Page 1 of 4
What Do You Do for Fun When You Stop Drinking With Amy Tangerine
Powerless or in Control: Rethinking Addiction Recovery with Dr. Daniel Hochman
The Hungry Ghost Effect: Why Nothing Ever Feels Like Enough in Addiction With Jeremy L
Why You’re Still Inflamed - Even If You’re Doing Everything “Right” With Dr. Shivani Gupta
Is Addiction Written in the Stars? With Astrologist Jessica Lanyadoo

What Healthcare Gets Wrong About Addiction With Dr. Emma
Sonia sits down with Dr. Emma Kay, professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Nursing and a nationally recognized researcher focused on HIV care, substance use, harm reduction, and recovery. Together, they unpack the intersection of addiction, stigma, and healthcare systems, and explore how a more compassionate, whole-person approach can change outcomes. Sonia guides this conversation to help reframe how we think about recovery, disclosure, and what meaningful care actually looks like in practice. The discussion moves beyond surface-level conversations about addiction and into the realities people face navigating HIV, substance use, and medical systems that often prioritize one condition over another. Questions emerge around why patients don’t disclose substance use, how stigma subtly shows up in healthcare settings, whether abstinence-only models are limiting recovery options, and what happens when providers assume noncompliance. It also touches on the gap between medical innovation and lived patient experience, especially when it comes to trust, access, and education. The conversation highlights how recovery is often non-linear, why patient autonomy matters, and how small behavioral shifts can represent meaningful progress. It also sheds light on systemic barriers including cost, lack of education in medical training, and disparities tied to race, geography, and socioeconomic status. The contrast between rapid advancements in HIV treatment and the slower evolution of addiction care reveals where healthcare systems are still falling short. Sonia and Dr. Kay also talk about—what it actually looks like when patients feel seen, heard, and respected versus judged or dismissed. From early moments in an HIV clinic filled with unexpected vulnerability to broader reflections on stigma and resilience, the episode brings forward the emotional and relational side of care that often gets overlooked in clinical conversations. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Emma Kay and her work 01:00 Dr. Kay’s non-traditional path into social work and research 02:30 First experiences in an HIV clinic and shifting perspectives 04:00 Understanding HIV as a chronic condition vs stigma 05:30 The overlap between HIV and substance use 06:30 Risk factors and misconceptions about HIV transmission 07:30 Early experiences with patient vulnerability and resilience 09:00 Abstinence-based models vs harm reduction realities 10:30 Lack of harm reduction resources in certain regions 11:30 Why patients don’t disclose substance use 12:30 Gaps in education around harm reduction 13:30 What relational harm reduction actually means 15:00 Key principles: autonomy, humanism, pragmatism 16:30 Incremental progress and redefining success in recovery 17:30 Why recovery is rarely linear 19:00 Whole-person care and addressing underlying needs 21:00 Subtle stigma in healthcare settings 22:30 Misconceptions about adherence and drug use 24:00 Harm reduction vs abstinence models 25:30 Aging population with HIV and comorbidities 27:00 Treating HIV like any other chronic condition 28:30 Innovation in HIV care vs addiction care 30:00 Disparities in overdose rates and access to care 32:00 Trust gaps in marginalized communities 34:00 The role of community-led solutions 35:00 Cost barriers and access to life-saving resources Dr. Emma's Links https://scholars.uab.edu/5926-emma-kay https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmasophiakay/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 84Why You Pour a Drink Before Hard Conversations — And How to Stop With Anna Lecat
Conflict avoidance and people-pleasing show up in so many women's stories around alcohol — yet they rarely get the airtime they deserve. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Anna Lecat, intimacy and conflict consultant, global speaker, and author of Loving Conflict: Creating Collaboration Where Others See Division. Anna has spent decades across cultures, continents, and boardrooms persuading people that learning to conflict well is one of the most loving things we can offer each other. What does it actually mean to fight kindly? Why do so many women reach for a drink before a hard conversation — or avoid it entirely? And what is it about anger that feels so unbearable to sit with? Anna unpacks the tango metaphor at the heart of her work — conflict as tension plus connection, not threat plus danger. She walks through a practical spectrum for building conflict confidence, starting with low-stakes settings like restaurants and working up to the relationships that flood us most. The conversation explores emotional responsibility, nervous system regulation, and how early experiences with anger shape us as adults — often leading us to read conflict as rejection when it's really someone else's old wound surfacing. Then things get personal. Sonia opens up about pouring a glass of wine before calling her mother — and how that glass became a bottle. Kathleen shares her own story of returning to her hairdresser with honest, gentle feedback and what that small act revealed about the difference between avoiding conflict and moving through it with care. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Anna reframes conflict as a doorway rather than a threat [00:02:00] Her mission: persuading people to fight kindly [00:03:00] People who are deeply loved don't need to wage war [00:05:00] Connection and uplift extend beyond romance to friends, parents, and coworkers [00:06:00] Why women are socialized to avoid conflict [00:07:00] Conflict as a tango — listening, suggesting, responding in turn [00:08:00] Using nonverbal tango exercises in corporate workshops [00:11:00] Men in Beijing end up in tears during a two-minute eye contact meditation [00:13:00] Why sending food back at a restaurant is the perfect place to start [00:14:00] "If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your parents" [00:15:00] Kathleen's hairdresser story becomes a master class in kind conflict [00:18:00] Sonia's glass of wine before calling her mother — and how it became a bottle [00:20:00] Why anger is the most stigmatized emotion across every culture [00:21:00] Anger reveals a person's deepest fears and values — slow down and listen [00:22:00] How Anna navigates her own anger — consent first, then curiosity [00:27:00] It only takes one person to shift the dynamic of a relationship [00:29:00] People-pleasing as a conflict strategy — and how to tell it from self-protection [00:33:00] Practice conflict in low-stakes settings before the ones that flood you [00:37:00] Anna's nightly practice: revisiting hard moments and calming her nervous system [00:43:00] Start small, start outside, get good at it. It becomes a superpower. Links: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1966629974 https://annalecat.com/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 85High Vibration Foods With Chef Whitney
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with Chef Whitney Aronoff, founder of Starseed Kitchen and creator of High Vibration Living, to explore the powerful connection between food, energy, and emotional wellbeing. Together, they unpack how supportive nutrition goes far beyond what’s on your plate—and how small, intentional shifts can help women feel more aligned, energized, and connected in sobriety and everyday life. The conversation weaves through questions many women quietly ask themselves: Why do cravings—especially for sugar or alcohol—feel so intense? How does what we eat impact our mood, clarity, and intuition? Is “clean eating” actually helping, or could it be contributing to digestive issues and burnout? Whitney introduces the concept of “high vibration” foods—fresh, seasonal, whole ingredients that support both physical health and energetic balance. She challenges common wellness myths (like relying on raw foods or pre-packaged “healthy” meals) and emphasizes simple, traditional cooking methods like roasting, steaming, and slow cooking. The episode also explores how alcohol impacts blood sugar and cravings, why intuitive eating requires removing distractions and calming the nervous system, and how quality over quantity applies to everything from pantry staples to indulgences like chocolate or ice cream. Whitney shares her personal journey of healing chronic digestive issues by becoming her own advocate—moving beyond conventional advice and learning to listen to her body. The discussion expands into emotional and energetic health, touching on how food choices can influence clarity, identity, and even spiritual awareness. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 – Introduction to Chef Whitney Aronoff and High Vibration Living 01:30 – Early relationship with food and chronic digestive issues 03:00 – Becoming your own advocate in health and nutrition 04:30 – The role of whole foods vs processed foods 05:30 – Why simplicity in cooking supports digestion 07:00 – The “fireplace” analogy for digestion and cold foods 08:30 – Eating seasonally and adjusting food to climate 10:00 – Why one hot meal a day matters 11:00 – Food as a gateway to emotional and spiritual awareness 12:30 – How diet changes can shift identity and intuition 13:30 – Understanding cravings through energy and environment 15:00 – What “high vibration” food actually means 16:30 – Grocery store vs farmers market choices 18:30 – Navigating food access and making better choices 19:30 – Reconnecting with hunger cues and intuitive eating 21:00 – How environment and stress affect digestion 22:30 – Alcohol, sugar cravings, and blood sugar cycles 24:00 – Rethinking sugar as “treats” instead of restriction 26:00 – Quality over quantity when it comes to indulgences 29:00 – Physical vs emotional cravings explained 31:00 – Essential pantry staples for supportive nutrition 34:00 – Adapting food philosophy to different lifestyles and cultures 36:00 – Perfectionism, control, and emotional imbalance 38:00 – Making cooking easier with planning and batch meals 41:00 – Practical shortcuts: frozen foods, curry pastes, and bone broth 44:00 – Carbs, rice, and personalized nutrition approaches 47:00 – Building community through food and shared meals 48:30 – Prioritizing joy and intentional living Whitney's Links https://starseedkitchen.com/ https://www.instagram.com/whitneyaronoff/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Simple Wellness Routines That Actually Help Mental Health With Cameron Rogers
Mental health routines don’t have to be complicated to make a real difference. In this episode, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Cameron Rogers to talk about the small, realistic practices that help regulate anxiety, quiet racing thoughts, and support emotional wellbeing. Cameron Rogers is the founder and host of the Conversations with Cam podcast and uses her unfiltered voice and humor to create a safe space online for honest conversations about motherhood, mental health, and personal growth. As a mental health advocate, community curator, and mom, Cameron’s audience connects with her authentic approach to navigating life’s challenges. She is also the creator of Quiet Your Mind and Busy Your Hands, a product that blends journaling prompts, coloring affirmations, and reflection to help people reconnect with creativity and calm—an idea inspired by her recovery from a concussion that forced her to step away from screens and rediscover the power of simple, analog practices. In this conversation, Sonia, Kathleen, and Cameron explore the realities of caring for mental health in a busy world. They discuss anxiety, ADHD, productivity culture, and how motherhood can reshape the way we think about self-care. The episode touches on questions many women are asking: how journaling can interrupt spiraling thoughts, why hydration and movement affect mood, and how creating small rituals—like journaling spaces or “calm corners”—can help regulate the nervous system during stressful moments. The discussion also highlights practical tools Cameron uses regularly. Journaling becomes a central theme as a way to release thoughts onto paper and reduce anxiety. Cameron shares how simple prompts, gratitude practices, and even word-dump journaling can make the habit approachable. They also explore how environment affects emotional regulation through lighting, texture, and calming spaces, and how modern wellness culture can sometimes create unrealistic pressure to maintain the “perfect” routine. Later in the episode, the conversation shifts to substance use and mindfulness. Cameron explains why she stepped away from alcohol after noticing it worsened her anxiety, and mindful cannabis use, dopamine-seeking behaviors linked to ADHD, and Cameron’s experience with microdosing and a guided psychedelic journey that helped her process lingering stress and identity shifts after leaving her corporate career. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 Introduction to Cameron Rogers and her work 01:40 The concussion that changed Cameron’s mental health practices 03:00 Growing up in a high-performance environment 05:00 When self-care becomes obsessive 07:10 How journaling became Cameron’s core practice 10:00 Using journaling to calm anxiety 12:15 Gratitude practices for shifting mindset 13:30 Creating “calm corners” for nervous system regulation 15:00 Sensory elements that create calm spaces 18:00 Hydration and mental clarity 22:30 Mindful cannabis use and creativity 24:00 Cameron’s decision to stop drinking alcohol 26:30 Addiction, dopamine, and ADHD 32:00 Cameron’s psychedelic therapy experience 39:30 Using affirmations to shift inner dialogue 43:00 Reframing exercise as mental health support 47:00 Letting go of the “perfect” wellness routine Cameron's Links Instagram: @cameronoaksrogers Substack: Fill Your Cup SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Family Is the Source of the Trauma With Dr. Sherrie
Licensed clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Sherrie Campbell joins us for a powerful conversation about toxic family dynamics, emotional abuse, and the complicated path toward family estrangement. In this episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore how unhealthy family relationships can shape self-worth, boundaries, and coping mechanisms—including substance use—and how women can begin to reclaim their lives. Dr. Campbell is a nationally recognized expert on family estrangement, author of Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members, a TEDx speaker, and host of the top 1% podcast Sherapy Sessions: Cutting Toxic Family Ties. Together, they unpack the realities of emotionally abusive parenting, boundary setting, and the courage it takes to choose healing. The conversation explores difficult but deeply relatable questions: What actually qualifies as emotional abuse in a family system? Why do so many adult children struggle to recognize toxic dynamics while they’re living inside them? How do manipulation, triangulation, guilt, and silent treatment shape a child’s development—and how do those patterns follow people into adulthood? The episode also examines how family trauma can intersect with coping behaviors like alcohol use, why estrangement is often misunderstood, and how protective distance can become an act of self-respect rather than rejection. Dr. Campbell shares parts of her own story of growing up in a deeply dysfunctional family system and the decades-long process that ultimately led her to cut contact with her mother. She walks through the moment that finally broke the cycle, the years of boundary setting that preceded it, and the grief that often accompanies estrangement. The conversation closes with reflections on healing, journaling as a lifelong practice, and what it means to build a chosen life outside of family dysfunction. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Introducing Dr. Sherrie Campbell and the topic of toxic family relationships 02:30 – Why family estrangement is often misunderstood 04:10 – The difference between single-incident conflict and chronic family dysfunction 05:40 – Why parents are responsible for repairing relationships with their children 07:20 – How boundaries are meant to preserve relationships, not destroy them 08:10 – The common behaviors of emotionally abusive parents 10:15 – Why emotional abuse can be difficult to recognize inside families 11:00 – A personal example of subtle emotional humiliation 12:30 – Emotional abuse vs. emotional neglect explained 14:00 – What “protective estrangement” really means 15:30 – The metaphor of the house, yard, and fence for setting boundaries 18:30 – Why estrangement usually follows decades of boundary violations 21:00 – How long many adult children try to repair relationships before cutting ties 24:00 – The intersection of childhood trauma and substance use 25:00 – Why people turn to alcohol or other coping behaviors 27:30 – Lessons learned from working with addiction recovery groups 29:30 – What changes internally when someone gets sober 31:00 – Why addiction recovery requires responsibility and self-respect 33:30 – The first steps toward healing from family trauma 36:30 – Rebuilding self-trust after toxic parenting 39:00 – Dr. Campbell’s personal healing practices and journaling ritual 41:00 – Breaking generational cycles through love and conscious parenting Dr. Sherrie's Links Link to TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/deyHwDkG7oc?si=vy7p-wD6MvgwCfR- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.sherrie/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Midlife Isn’t a Crisis — It’s a Comeback With Heather Francis
Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Heather Francis, host of the Midlife Moves Podcast. Heather is an entrepreneur and mom of four who brings a lived-experience perspective to conversations around identity, self-trust, and personal growth. She speaks as a woman who has learned, often through trial and error, what it means to evolve, recalibrate, and choose herself more intentionally. Together, they explore what really happens in our forties and fifties: shifting identities, perimenopause, strength training, sleep disruption, protein intake, and the unexpected grief that can come when children grow up and roles change. Together, they unpack how to move through midlife with intention rather than fear—and how movement, community, and curiosity can help women feel strong, clear, and empowered in this next chapter. The conversation weaves through questions many women are quietly asking: Why does anxiety spike in perimenopause? Why does sleep suddenly fall apart at 1:00 AM? Why does cardio stop working the way it used to? How much protein do women actually need in midlife? What role do magnesium, creatine, and recovery days play in hormonal health? How do friendships, identity, and self-definition evolve when the “mom” role begins to shift? Heather shares practical insights around strength training versus excessive cardio, mobility work, rest days, over-exercising, wearable technology, alcohol’s impact on sleep, sugar spikes, and the importance of fueling the body with whole-food protein sources. The discussion touches on cognitive health in midlife, research around creatine for women, bloodwork-guided supplementation, anxiety management, and why connection is foundational for both brain health and emotional resilience. Rather than extreme reinvention, the theme becomes small, intentional adjustments that support longevity, muscle preservation, sleep quality, and overall wellness. Heather opens up about her identity crisis when her children began leaving home, the depression that followed, the isolation of rediscovering herself alone, and the courage it took to ask: Who am I beyond caretaker, wife, and mother? The conversation moves into friendship shifts, gym communities, saying yes to coffee dates, and redefining confidence outside of labels. In a powerful closing reflection, Heather offers a reframe for midlife: not as decline, but as possibility—a second act that doesn’t require blowing up your life, just choosing more intentionally within it. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 – Introduction to Heather Francis and Midlife Moves 02:00 – Identity crisis when children grow up 04:00 – Realizing midlife is a second act, not an ending 05:00 – Perimenopause conversations we wish existed 06:00 – Hormones, anxiety, and 1:00 AM wakeups 07:00 – Why movement helped anxiety more than medication 08:00 – Cardio vs. strength training in midlife 09:00 – What strength training actually looks like 13:00 – Yoga, mobility, and emotional release 15:00 – Signs you may be over-exercising 17:00 – Magnesium, meditation, and sleep hygiene 19:00 – Alcohol’s impact on sleep quality 20:00 – Wearables, tracking, and number obsession 21:00 – Sugar’s effect on sleep and recovery 23:00 – Nutrition, fueling, and hormone support 27:00 – Protein myths and whole-food sources 34:00 – Creatine, cognitive health, and supplements 38:00 – Friendship shifts and loneliness in midlife 44:00 – Redefining identity beyond “mom” 46:00 – The message of midlife: possibility and intentional change Heather's Links https://www.instagram.com/themidlifemovespodcast/ midlifemoves.co SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

AI Journaling With Sean Dadashi
Sonia sits down with Sean Dadashi, co-founder of Rosebud, an AI-guided journaling app built to deepen self-reflection, emotional awareness, and intentional healing. Together, they explore how journaling can move beyond venting and become a powerful tool for insight — helping you recognize emotional patterns, understand triggers, and reshape the internal narratives that shape sobriety and personal growth. The conversation expands into the evolving role of AI in mental health and self-development. They discuss how guided prompts, voice journaling, emotional tagging, and pattern recognition can make reflection more accessible — especially for those intimidated by a blank page. At the same time, they examine the importance of keeping therapy, community, and real human connection at the center of healing, while using technology as a supportive tool rather than a replacement. Sonia and Sean also walk through specific journaling practices, including Rose-Bud-Thorn reflections, somatic journaling, gratitude work, boundary-setting exercises, and intention setting. They explore how Rosebud can support therapy preparation, unsent letters, difficult conversations, and voice-based emotional processing. Throughout the episode, they highlight how digital journaling can help expand emotional vocabulary, identify recurring behavioral patterns, and deepen therapeutic work between sessions. On a more personal note, Sonia shares her love of pen-to-paper journaling — the colored pens, the bedside rituals — and reflects on what it means to shift from analog habits to digital tools in a way that enhances, rather than replaces, the reflective experience. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights00:00 — Introduction to Sean Dadashi and the mission behind Rosebud 01:45 — Sean’s early relationship with journaling during family divorce 04:10 — Moving from handwritten journals to digital reflection 06:20 — Recognizing emotional and behavioral patterns over time 08:05 — The “blank page problem” and barriers to starting journaling 09:40 — How the “Go Deeper” function guides layered reflection 11:30 — AI summaries, emotional tagging, and weekly reports 13:05 — Metrics, character tracking, and narrative insights 14:10 — Naming emotions and therapist-informed AI design 15:20 — How Rosebud differs from generic chatbots 16:40 — AI memory and long-term pattern recognition 17:25 — Asking big-picture life questions through journal history 18:50 — Year-end reflection archetypes and narrative mapping 20:10 — AI personas: nurturing vs. direct reflection styles 21:05 — Preventing AI from replacing human connection 22:30 — Platform limits and ethical guardrails 24:00 — Crisis response and safety considerations 28:40 — Using journaling alongside therapy and coaching 31:10 — Preparing for therapy sessions through reflection insights 32:15 — Pen-and-paper vs. digital journaling debate 34:05 — Voice journaling and emotional expression 36:10 — Importing handwritten journals via photo transcription 38:15 — Rose-Bud-Thorn framework and evening reflections 40:20 — Somatic journaling and body-based awareness 41:10 — Letter writing, boundary setting, and hard conversations 43:00 — Facilitating real-life conversations using AI support 44:05 — Intention setting and future-self visualization 45:50 — Creating mantras and symbolic yearly totems 46:40 — Building sustainable daily reflection practices 47:30 — Closing thoughts and episode wrap-up Rosebud https://my.rosebud.app/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From High-Functioning To Whole Again With Marci Hopkins
In this episode, Sonia sits down with TV personality, recovery advocate, and author Marci Hopkins to unpack the layered journey from trauma and addiction to emotional sobriety and self-trust. As the host of the award-winning talk show Wake Up with Marci and author of Chaos to Clarity, Marci brings both lived experience and professional insight to the conversation. Together, they explore healing, resilience, and what it really takes to rebuild a life after alcohol. The discussion moves through the experiences that shaped Marci’s relationship with alcohol, from early childhood trauma and family addiction to high-functioning drinking in adulthood. Themes of generational cycles, emotional suppression, validation-seeking relationships, and the normalization of alcohol surface throughout the conversation. The episode also examines the slippery slope from social drinking to dependence, how denial shows up, and the internal bargaining that often delays change. Marci shares how practices like affirmations, forgiveness work, boundary setting, and cognitive “interrupters” can begin to rewire negative thought patterns. Marci walks through the defining moments that led to her final surrender — including the DUI that forced her to confront the reality of her drinking. She reflects on motherhood, marriage, career pressure, and the emotional reckoning that followed. The conversation closes on her path to advocacy, her commitment to breaking stigma, and how turning pain into purpose became central to her healing. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:01:00 – Marci’s introduction and recovery advocacy work 00:03:00 – Childhood trauma and the first experiences of abuse 00:05:00 – Living with her grandparents and early instability 00:08:00 – Abuse and lack of maternal protection 00:10:00 – Perfectionism and controlling the external image 00:12:00 – Teen drinking, validation, and blackout weekends 00:14:00 – Escaping home life through relationships 00:16:00 – Party culture, drugs, and early adulthood 00:17:00 – DUIs and hitting early warning signs 00:20:00 – Using appearance and relationships for power 00:23:00 – Career rise in television and media 00:25:00 – Motherhood, ambition, and mounting pressure 00:26:00 – Alcohol as “liquid courage” for auditions 00:27:00 – Hiding drinking and increasing dependence 00:28:00 – The failed attempt to moderate 00:29:00 – The day of her final drink 00:31:00 – DUI arrest and confrontation with reality 00:33:00 – Surrender and return to AA 00:38:00 – Emotional sobriety and healing trauma 00:55:00 – Breaking stigma and normalizing recovery conversations Marci's Links Instagram YouTube SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why You Can’t “Just Move On” From Trauma With Amber T
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Amber Trejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified clinical trauma professional who specializes in complex childhood trauma and the family system. Amber is also a wife and mom of three on her own healing journey, and today she helps Sonia unpack how childhood wounds quietly shape adult life — and what it looks like to move from survival mode into safety, self-regulation, and connection. Sonia and Amber explore the ways complex trauma can show up long after childhood — through hypervigilance, perfectionism, emotional shutdown, and repeating relationship patterns. They discuss why so many people struggle to even name what happened to them, especially when emotional neglect, invalidation, or silent treatment were normalized. Amber shares a nervous-system-centered approach to healing, weaving in polyvagal theory, cues of safety versus danger, parts work, somatic grounding, and EMDR. The conversation touches on how trauma lives in both the brain and the body, and why healing requires more than simply intellectualizing the past — it’s about building real capacity for regulation, curiosity, and connection in the present. In the personal story thread, Sonia opens up about having very few childhood memories, the fear of “making it up,” and the complicated ways trauma can surface later in adulthood, especially in relationships and family dynamics. Together, they connect trauma work to sobriety — exploring addiction as a form of nervous system coping, why white-knuckling often isn’t enough, and how early recovery sometimes means doing whatever it takes to get through the hardest moments with compassion. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00 — Amber Trejo joins Sonia to discuss trauma healing 01:00 — Amber shares her own childhood trauma and path to therapy 03:00 — Trauma resurfacing through marriage and motherhood 04:00 — Complex trauma vs single-event PTSD 05:00 — Emotional neglect as an overlooked trauma wound 07:00 — Why complex trauma shows up most in relationships 08:00 — Sonia’s “grimy breaker” metaphor for trauma patterns 10:00 — Minimizing pain: “but it could be worse” 12:00 — Shame, invalidation, and not trusting emotions 14:00 — Perfectionism as a survival strategy 15:00 — Parts work and inner child healing 17:00 — Intellectualizing vs healing in the body 18:00 — Sonia on missing childhood memories 20:00 — “What if I’m making it up?” as a trauma hallmark 22:00 — Safety and resourcing before deeper trauma work 25:00 — Cues of danger, passive aggression, and hypervigilance 31:00 — Ventral vagal state: curiosity as a sign of safety 33:00 — Addiction as nervous system regulation 38:00 — Alcohol as relief before it becomes the problem 45:00 — Early sobriety: small realistic coping tools 49:00 — Creativity, aliveness, and building daily regulation practices Amber's Links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/integrativetraumatherapist?igsh=MWpvdTI5emVyZzU4aA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr Course for parents with trauma: https://stan.store/Integrativetraumatherapist/p/-sjwt4r2x Website: https://www.theintegrativetraumatherapist.com/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Redefining Intimacy After 40 With Dr. Maria Sophocles
Sonia sits down with Dr. Maria Sophocles, an internationally respected gynecologist and leader in menopause and female sexual health, to explore what really happens to intimacy, desire, and connection in midlife. The conversation challenges the often-unspoken realities of perimenopause, menopause, and sexuality—offering women reassurance, clarity, and a sense of possibility in a season that is too often misunderstood. Sonia and Dr. Sophocles open up a wide-ranging discussion about the cultural pressure women carry around sex, the emotional weight of obligation, and how expectations in long-term relationships can quietly create distance over time. They explore themes like libido changes, communication, pleasure, dating after divorce, and the ways women can begin rewriting outdated scripts around intimacy as bodies and hormones evolve. Throughout the episode, Dr. Sophocles breaks down the physiology of menopause beyond hot flashes—touching on vaginal dryness, arousal shifts, clitoral health, and the role of estrogen deficiency in sexual function. She also clarifies common misconceptions around hormone therapy, explains why hormone testing often adds confusion, and shares evidence-based options including vaginal estrogen and newer treatments. Alongside the medical insight, Sonia also reflects on the personal side of this conversation—what it means to move from performance toward connection, from silence toward honesty, and from shame toward self-trust. Dr. Sophocles offers compassionate language for couples navigating change, and gentle encouragement for women stepping into this chapter with curiosity instead of fear. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:01 — Introducing Dr. Maria Sophocles and her new book The Bedroom Gap 00:02 — Why menopause training is still missing in women’s healthcare 00:03 — The most overlooked symptom: sexual shame and silence 00:05 — What the “Bedroom Gap” really means in relationships 00:07 — How gender roles set couples up for disconnection 00:09 — Why sex education is still fear-based, not pleasure-based 00:11 — Dating after divorce in midlife: a whole new world 00:13 — Sonia opens up about “duty sex” and long-term marriage patterns 00:15 — Responsive desire: why arousal can come before libido 00:16 — The power of G-rated intimacy and skin-to-skin connection 00:18 — When a hug feels like pressure: navigating partner expectations 00:20 — How to communicate needs without triggering defensiveness 00:23 — Reframing lube, toys, and support as sex-positive tools 00:25 — Menopause changes in the brain, vulva, vagina, and clitoris 00:28 — Why vaginal estrogen is one of the most underused solutions 00:32 — Breast cancer survivors and the truth about local estrogen safety 00:33 — Other treatments: Intrarosa and Osphena 00:36 — Why hormone blood tests rarely give useful answers 00:41 — Fantasy, erotic content, and “bibliotherapy” for desire 00:45 — Dr. Sophocles’ hope: grace, permission, and rewriting the rules Dr. Sophocles LinkInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariasophoclesmd/ TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/maria_sophocles_what_happens_to_sex_in_midlife_a_look_at_the_bedroom_gap The Bedroom Gap: https://www.amazon.com/Bedroom-Gap-Rewrite-Rules-Roles/dp/0306837404 SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joy Based Recovery With Melanie Gulde
Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Melanie Gulde to explore what truly supportive, humane recovery can look like—especially for women. Melanie is the Co-Founder of the Divided Sky Foundation and Program Director of the Divided Sky Residential Recovery Program in Ludlow. With more than 25 years in the field, Melanie has dedicated her life to helping people rediscover their worth and build sustainable sobriety. Her work includes founding Divided Sky in partnership with Trey Anastasio — the co-founding guitarist and lead vocalist of the jam band Phish - and launching a Women’s Scholarship Fund to reduce barriers to treatment for women. You'll hear what actually helps people stay sober, how emotional sobriety supports long-term healing, and how joy, music, nature, and community can reshape the recovery experience. The episode also explores women-specific challenges like stigma, childcare, financial barriers, vulnerability in mixed-gender treatment settings, and why communal, women-centered environments can significantly improve outcomes. Melanie explains how concepts like emotional regulation, unmet expectations, family systems, accountability, and values-based recovery show up in real life, and how programs like Divided Sky integrate mindfulness, music therapy, spirituality, forest bathing, and peer support to support sustainable change. The episode also weaves in Melanie’s personal story—from getting sober in 1995 to her early work in outpatient counseling and drug court to the pivotal relationship with Trey, which led to the creation of Divided Sky. Sonia and Kathleen guide listeners through Melanie’s reflections on mentorship, mistakes, growth, and the “aha” moments that shaped her philosophy: that people don’t need punishment to heal—they need dignity, safety, and belief in their own potential. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped) 00:01 — Introducing Melanie Gould and the mission behind Divided Sky 00:02 — Growing up on Long Island and early influences on empathy and service 00:03 — Getting sober in 1995 and finding a calling in recovery work 00:04 — Early mentorship lessons and learning not to take relapse personally 00:06 — What drug court teaches that traditional clinical settings don’t 00:07 — Reframing “mandated treatment” and removing judgment from recovery 00:08 — Melanie’s first interactions with Trey Anastasio in drug court 00:09 — Fear, structure, and accountability in early recovery 00:11 — How a professional relationship evolved into collaboration and friendship 00:13 — Why Divided Sky was created to treat people as individuals 00:16 — What emotional sobriety really means and why it’s transformative 00:18 — Connecting emotional sobriety with the 12 Steps 00:21 — The role of music, joy, and creativity in recovery 00:24 — Joy-based recovery and the healing power of nature 00:26 — A day in the life at Divided Sky 00:28 — Community, volunteers, and connection as recovery tools 00:30 — Why the Women’s Scholarship Fund matters 00:33 — Why women recover differently and need women-centered spaces 00:35 — Changing family dynamics and their impact on recovery 00:38 — A message of hope for anyone afraid to ask for help Divided Sky Foundation SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Catt Sadler On Midlife, Mindfulness, and Letting Alcohol Go
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with veteran broadcaster, journalist, and advocate Catt Sadler for a deeply honest conversation about identity, ambition, and choosing an alcohol-free life without hitting rock bottom. Best known for her more than decade-long career at E! Entertainment—Catt has long been a familiar face on red carpets and awards-season coverage. Today, she is the host and executive producer of her weekly podcast CATT SADLER Now and a leading voice in conversations about women, power, and authenticity. Throughout the conversation, Catt reflects on pivotal questions many women quietly ask themselves: What role has alcohol played in my stress, success, and social life? What happens when I stop numbing and start listening? Can I change my relationship with alcohol even if everything “looks fine” on the outside? Together, they unpack themes of high-functioning drinking, midlife reflection, identity shifts, nervous system regulation, and how wellness, meditation, and journaling can open the door to clarity and self-trust. You'll walk away with practical and educational insights around mindful sobriety, habit change, and emotional regulation. Catt shares how meditation, breathwork, journaling, and intentional morning routines supported her decision to stop drinking—and why removing alcohol created more energy, better sleep, deeper presence, and emotional resilience. The episode also explores the role of shame in keeping women stuck, how cravings and discomfort actually pass, and why modeling alcohol-free coping skills matters—especially for our children and communities. In a powerful personal segment, Catt opens up about the spiritual nudges that ultimately led her to quit drinking, the internal resistance she felt despite “not having a problem,” and the moment she realized that alcohol no longer aligned with the highest version of herself. She shares what it was like navigating social situations, holidays, college football weekends, and emotional lows without alcohol—and how staying with herself, rather than escaping, changed everything. Her story offers a compassionate roadmap for women who sense a quiet inner knowing that it might be time to turn the page. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Welcome and introduction to Catt Sadler 01:15 – Growing up around alcohol and early beliefs about drinking 03:45 – College, ambition, and “normal” social drinking 05:30 – Life at E!, pressure, motherhood, and survival mode 07:10 – When healing began before alcohol changed 08:40 – Reading Quit Like a Woman and early nudges 09:55 – Dating someone who could take alcohol or leave it 11:20 – Spiritual moments that clarified her decision 13:10 – Choosing to stop drinking at 51 14:45 – Alcohol not being “the problem,” but no longer fitting 16:10 – Meditation as a gateway to self-trust 18:05 – How to start meditating without overwhelm 20:40 – Early benefits of going alcohol-free 22:30 – Handling cravings, discomfort, and emotional waves 24:50 – Ice cream, Netflix, and self-compassion 26:10 – Morning routines and sacred mornings 28:20 – Gratitude journaling and manifestation 30:40 – Different journaling styles and creative play 33:15 – Letter writing, boundaries, and emotional processing 36:00 – Writing a memoir and revisiting the past 38:40 – Holidays, NA drinks, and social pressure 41:00 – Being sober around kids and modeling behavior 43:30 – Navigating parties, work events, and college campuses 46:10 – Sharing her sobriety publicly and community response 48:20 – Advice for women who haven’t hit “rock bottom” 50:00 – Closing reflections on staying with yourself Catt's Links Catt's IG and Substack SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Divorce Isn’t Failure — It’s an Awakening With Dr. Oona Metz
Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Oona Metz, a therapist with 30 years of clinical experience and a leading expert in helping women navigate divorce. For the past 15 years, Oona has specialized in supporting women through the realities of divorce. She is the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. Dr. Metz frames divorce not as a failure, but as a profound life transition—one that often reshapes identity, relationships, and sobriety. They'll explore questions many women quietly carry: What actually happens emotionally during divorce? Why does it feel so disorienting—even when you’re the one who initiated it? How do grief, anger, relief, fear, and hope coexist at the same time? And why can divorce feel so lonely even when you’re surrounded by support? They talk about the deeper layers of healing, touching on community, shame, self-trust, boundaries, and the ways alcohol can quietly become a coping mechanism during this chapter. You'll will walk away with practical takeaways about the divorce process from a mental health perspective, including how divorce impacts the nervous system, why women often internalize blame, and how group support can accelerate healing. Dr. Metz explains the psychological stages of divorce, common emotional patterns women experience, and why validation, regulation, and connection are essential tools for recovery. The conversation also weaves in themes of sobriety, emotional regulation, self-worth, and rebuilding identity after major life upheaval. Sonia and Kathleen reflect on how divorce can surface old coping strategies, challenge existing support systems, and force radical honesty with oneself. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights 00:01 – Why divorce is more than a legal process—it’s an identity shift 03:12 – Oona’s 30-year clinical journey and why she focused on divorce work 06:45 – The emotional stages women experience during divorce 09:30 – Why divorce grief is often misunderstood and minimized 12:18 – How shame and self-blame show up for women 15:02 – The role of community and group support in healing 18:40 – Why divorce can trigger or intensify unhealthy coping behaviors 21:55 – Divorce, loneliness, and the myth of “strong women should handle it alone” 25:10 – How alcohol can quietly become emotional anesthesia during transitions 28:34 – Nervous system regulation during high-conflict or prolonged divorce 31:50 – What healing actually looks like in the first year post-divorce 35:15 – Letting go of the story you thought your life would follow 38:42 – Rebuilding self-trust after major relational loss 41:20 – Why validation matters more than advice in early healing 44:05 – Dating, boundaries, and identity after divorce 47:30 – How group work accelerates recovery and reduces isolation 50:18 – What Oona wishes every woman knew before starting divorce 53:00 – Turning divorce into a catalyst for clarity and growth 56:10 – Choosing sobriety as an act of self-protection and self-respect 59:00 – Final reflections on grief, freedom, and rebuilding a life on your terms Dr. Metz's Links https://www.instagram.com/oonametz/ https://www.oonametz.com/book-unhitched SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Manifestation Isn’t Working For You With Yvonne T
Manifestation doesn’t have to be woo-woo, unrealistic, or disconnected from real life. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with Yvonne Tchrakian — corporate lawyer turned entrepreneur, manifestation teacher, founder of Pause.Penny, and host of The Manifest Movement podcast — to explore how manifestation can become a grounded, practical tool for women in recovery. Sonia helps listeners understand how manifestation can support self-trust, accountability, and healing without bypassing emotions or responsibility. Together, they unpack why manifestation can feel like it “isn’t working,” even when you’re doing all the right things. The conversation explores alignment versus hustle, fear-based desires versus intuitive ones, and how thoughts, beliefs, and actions must work together. Sonia and Yvonne touch on common blocks like scarcity thinking, misalignment, people-pleasing, and unrealistic timelines — and how those patterns quietly sabotage progress. You'll will gain clear, actionable insights into how manifestation intersects with neuroscience, habit formation, intuition, and sobriety. Yvonne explains why gratitude, affirmations, aligned action, and accountability matter more than vision boards alone, and how substances can disconnect intuition and erode self-trust. The episode also addresses spiritual bypassing, emotional processing, and why manifestation works best when paired with honesty and responsibility. In the personal story segment, Yvonne shares how grief, pregnancy loss, health challenges, and family addiction shaped her philosophy around manifestation and self-worth. Sonia reflects on sobriety, rebuilding intuition, and how letting go of old identities can unlock real change. The episode closes with a look inside Yvonne’s 21-Day Manifestation Challenge and why structure, community, and consistency help transformation stick. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. HIGHLIGHTS[00:01:00] Yvonne’s transition from law to manifestation [00:03:00] Grief as a turning point [00:05:30] Gratitude as a grounding practice [00:07:00] Belief vs. wishful thinking [00:09:30] Why alignment matters [00:12:00] Unrealistic manifestation goals [00:14:00] Actions vs. intentions [00:16:00] Scarcity thinking and money [00:18:00] Receiving support and abundance [00:20:30] Manifesting identity [00:22:00] Boundaries and self-worth [00:24:00] Family dynamics and triggers [00:27:00] Letting go of resentment [00:29:30] Fear-based desires [00:32:00] Sobriety and intuition [00:35:00] Self-trust and consistency [00:37:00] Accountability in recovery [00:39:00] Emotional processing vs. bypassing [00:42:00] Shame and forgiveness [00:47:00] Inside the 21-Day Manifestation Challenge SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s A SIS Classic: The Ultimate Dry January Game Plan
The new year is upon us, and it’s the perfect time to check in with yourself and your habits. Whether you’re feeling the post-holiday burnout or just curious about how alcohol impacts your life, Dry January offers a chance to hit pause and reset. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are here to guide you through the highs, lows, and everything in between, offering tips and real talk to help you make the most of your Dry January journey—whether it's your first time or your fifth. Ever wonder why Dry January seems to be everywhere? Sonia and Kathleen dive into questions like: What makes it so popular? What physical and mental benefits can you really expect? What if you slip up mid-month? With honest reflections and practical advice, this episode will leave you feeling ready to take it one day at a time. You’ll come away with simple, effective ways to succeed—like setting realistic goals, building a support system, and swapping old habits for new ones that actually feel good. Sonia and Kathleen also dig into strategies for overcoming cravings, reframing challenges, and creating routines you’ll look forward to. Plus, ways to replace your go-to drink with something delicious, because it’s not just about taking something away—it’s about adding wellness, joy, and calm back into your life. Sonia shares how her tea bar (complete with hot chocolate mix!) became her nighttime favorite, while Kathleen talks about how even the strongest cravings can be a chance to show yourself some love. It’s a reminder that small wins—like finding joy in a cozy drink or celebrating with a letter to yourself—can make a big difference. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights: [00:00:00] Introduction to Dry January and its purpose [00:01:16] Sonia and Kathleen discuss the origins and rise in popularity [00:02:29] Research spotlight: the link between alcohol and health risks [00:03:34] Health Canada’s new guidelines on alcohol consumption [00:05:15] The role of the sober-curious movement and influencers [00:07:26] Benefits of Dry January: improved sleep, clear skin, mental clarity [00:10:29] How to set a personal “why” for motivation [00:12:10] The importance of planning for social triggers [00:13:36] Kathleen’s breakdown of SMART goals [00:16:25] Strategies for those feeling overwhelmed by a 31-day challenge [00:19:35] Managing cravings and identifying unexpected triggers [00:22:31] Mocktail recommendations and the joy of experimenting with alternative drinks [00:25:48] New evening rituals: small ways to relax and unwind [00:27:04] Celebrating progress without alcohol: creative reward ideas [00:29:59] Kathleen shares her “urge surfing” technique for dealing with cravings [00:32:25] Explanation of the RAIN mindfulness method [00:36:12] What to do if you slip up during Dry January [00:39:00] How to reflect on your Dry January experience [00:41:17] Deciding your next steps after January ends [00:43:40] Sonia’s insights on using Dry January as a springboard for personal growth [00:46:17] Final reflections and key takeaways from Sonia and Kathleen Links: Sisters In Sobriety Substack – find more tips, tricks, resources, and community 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email Sisters In Sobriety Instagram Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Dharma of Recovery With Randy Hall
This episode features Randy Hall on Buddhist-inspired recovery, mindfulness, and why healing addiction often starts with self-compassion—not judgment. Randy Hall, is a Program Coordinator with the Addiction Prevention Coalition in Birmingham, Alabama, a person in long-term recovery, a Certified Peer Support Specialist, a SMART Recovery Facilitator, and the former President of the Recovery Dharma Global community. Randy is deeply committed to building peer support spaces and advocating for multiple pathways to recovery that meet people where they are. Throughout the conversation, Sonia, Kathleen, and Randy explore what happens when someone wants recovery but doesn’t quite fit into a single prescribed model. They dig into questions around craving, identity, trauma, relapse, self-judgment, and why curiosity can be a powerful starting point for change. The episode touches on mindfulness, Buddhist-inspired recovery, peer-led support, and evidence-based tools — all through the lens of real life rather than theory. Randy breaks down Buddhist principles in an accessible, grounded way, explaining how ideas like impermanence, compassion, and mindful awareness can be used day-to-day in recovery. He shares how practices like meditation, naming emotions, and interrupting judgment helped him learn to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it. Listeners will also hear how SMART Recovery’s rational, skills-based approach complemented these practices — showing how recovery doesn’t have to be either/or, but can be built from multiple supports working together. At the heart of the episode is Randy’s story — one marked by achievement, addiction, and a dramatic turning point. He shares how years of high-functioning substance use eventually led to a life-altering diagnosis of Guillain-Barré Syndrome that left him temporarily paralyzed. What followed wasn’t a neat or linear recovery, but a painful, human process that included relapse, fear, and ultimately a deep internal shift. Randy reflects on how real change didn’t come from punishment or fear, but from learning self-compassion, finding community, and allowing himself to be honest about his suffering. His story underscores how transformation often comes not from avoiding pain, but from finally meeting it with care and support. Episode Highlights 00:01 — Randy shares how alcohol first felt like social “magic” — and how quickly it turned into something darker 00:03 — What high-functioning addiction really looks like behind the scenes 00:05 — Using substances to cope with professional pressure and internal conflict 00:06 — The shocking moment Randy’s body shut down during a kids’ soccer game 00:08 — Being paralyzed, hospitalized, and forced to confront mortality 00:10 — Why detox and physical recovery weren’t enough 00:12 — Returning home and relapsing despite everything he’d been through 00:15 — The quiet role of shame and self-loathing in addiction 00:17 — Hitting a point where change was no longer optional 00:18 — Feeling disconnected from recovery spaces that didn’t resonate 00:19 — Discovering Recovery Dharma and Buddhist-inspired recovery 00:21 — How mindfulness and rational tools can work together 00:23 — The Four Noble Truths explained in plain language 00:26 — Understanding craving as part of the human condition 00:28 — How mindfulness helps interrupt urges in real time 00:34 — The difference between awareness and judgment 00:38 — “Having tea with your demons” and learning to work with urges 00:44 — Riding urges like waves instead of fighting them 00:48 — Why community matters more than willpower 00:51 — Practical advice for anyone who feels stuck right now Randy's Links https://recoverydharma.org/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 82Break The Habit Loop With Dr. Jud Brewer
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dive into the science of cravings, anxiety, and habit change—and explore what really keeps us stuck. They’re joined by Judson Brewer, MD, PhD (“Dr. Jud”), New York Times best-selling author, neuroscientist, addiction psychiatrist, and one of the world’s leading experts on mindfulness-based behavior change. As the Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, Dr. Jud has spent decades decoding how habits form in the brain and developing accessible tools that help people unwind anxiety, disrupt addictive loops, and build healthier patterns. Today, Sonia and Kathleen help listeners understand the mechanics of their own minds while Dr. Jud offers lived insight, science-backed strategies, and surprising clarity about why we repeat behaviors that don’t serve us—and how to finally change them. In the conversation, they unpack some of the biggest questions surrounding anxiety, cravings, and self-sabotage: Why does worry function like a habit? Why do some behaviors feel good in the moment but terrible later? How does the brain’s reward system trick us into repeating patterns we’ve outgrown? And what role does curiosity play in breaking addiction cycles—from alcohol to overeating to doom-scrolling? You'll hear how habit loops get encoded, why “willpower” is not the tool we've been taught to rely on, and how mindfulness becomes a practical—not mystical—interruption strategy. Dr. Jud also breaks down essential educational concepts, including reinforcement learning, negative and positive reward loops, the illusion of control in anxiety, the mechanics of disenchantment, and his three-step framework for unwinding addictive patterns. He explains how curiosity and kindness work neurologically to override craving cycles, why awareness alone can interrupt an unconscious behavior, and how updating the brain’s reward database makes change not only possible but inevitable. Along the way, listeners gain language, tools, and frameworks they can start applying immediately to their own sobriety and emotional regulation. Dr. Jud does a real-life demonstration of his method as Kathleen explores her own habit loop around stress- and boredom-eating. The conversation gets personal, relatable, and surprisingly funny as the trio walks through how discomfort, dopamine, self-soothing, and long-term values collide inside the brain. The episode closes with a reflective discussion on AI, mental health, and the future of behavior-change technology, highlighting what excites—and concerns—Dr. Jud in this rapidly shifting landscape. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Sonia and Kathleen introduce Dr. Jud and his work on anxiety, addiction, and the brain. [00:02:00] Dr. Jud shares how his own anxiety and panic attacks led him into neuroscience and meditation. [00:03:30] The early research connecting anxiety, addiction, and habit loops. [00:05:00] How a breakup and “Full Catastrophe Living” started his lifelong meditation practice. [00:07:00] Childhood curiosity, chemistry, and why humans get stuck in repetitive patterns. [00:08:30] How shame and self-blame reinforce habit loops. [00:09:00] Plain-language explanation of reinforcement learning and the habit loop. [00:11:30] Anxiety as a learned behavior: the illusion of control through worry. [00:12:30] Clinical trial results showing mindfulness reduces anxiety by 67 percent. [00:14:00] Awareness vs. identification: shifting from “I am anxious” to “I’m noticing anxiety.” [00:15:00] Why we return to habits that hurt us, even when we know better. [00:17:00] Disenchantment and updating the brain’s reward system. [00:19:30] Why willpower fails: the neuroscience behind “stop it” not working. [00:20:00] Smoking cessation examples—patients realizing cigarettes taste terrible. [00:22:00] How paying attention changes overeating behaviors within 10–15 repetitions. [00:24:00] A patient’s breakthrough using morning reflection to break alcohol dependency. [00:26:00] How the same loop applies across addictions: food, alcohol, sex, gambling, digital habits. [00:28:00] Introducing the “pleasure plateau” and learning when a reward stops rewarding. [00:31:00] How curiosity interrupts craving cycles and builds distress tolerance. [00:33:30] Dr. Jud’s three-step method for behavior change. [00:37:00] What to say when someone insists “mindfulness doesn’t work for me.” [00:38:00] Live demo: Kathleen and Dr. Jud map her stress-eating habit loop. [00:44:00] The intersection of AI, reinforcement learning, and mental health. [00:47:00] Expanding access with AI-supported learning assistants in Going Beyond Anxiety. [00:49:00] The risks of relying on AI for companionship and therapy advice. [00:52:00] Where listeners struggling with addiction can start with Mindshift Recovery. D

Ep 81Rethinking Grief With Melanie W
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore one of the most universal yet misunderstood parts of human life: grief. They’re joined by Melanie Wilson—grief advocate, creative ritual designer, event curator, and founder of Life and Soul—who brings a deeply grounded and accessible perspective on navigating loss, building community, and supporting others with compassion. Sonia and Kathleen chat with Melanie about topics that sit at the core of grief work: Why is it so hard to talk about death? How do we show up for grieving friends without saying the wrong thing? What does real, ongoing support look like beyond the first week of casseroles? Why do people feel so alone when loss is universal? And what does it mean to create rituals—personal or communal—that help us stay connected to the people we’ve lost? These themes draw directly from Melanie’s work supporting grievers through community, storytelling, creativity, and continued bonds. You'll understand key concepts such as grief as a continuing relationship, collective grieving, grief allyship, the limits of numbing through alcohol, and why authentic presence is more powerful than perfect words. Melanie offers practical takeaways about holding space, asking better questions, supporting ritual-building, understanding grief “waves,” and replacing isolating narratives with compassionate ones. She also shares insights about how grief affects cognition, emotions, and relationships—grounded in her professional grief-ally framework and her work as a celebrant and community organizer. This episode also dives deep into Melanie’s personal story: the three consecutive years of profound loss that shaped her calling; the awkward moments of being “the death of the party”; creating New York grief mixers and art-centered memorial experiences; her five-year commemoration project for her father; and why people cry at her events even when they “didn’t expect to.” Sonia and Kathleen also reflect candidly on their own grief missteps, the complexities of supporting partners who are grieving, and the vulnerability of learning how to be a better ally over time. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped)00:01 — Sonia and Kathleen introduce Melanie Wilson and her work at the intersection of grief, art, and community. 00:02 — Melanie shares her earliest encounters with loss and how three consecutive years of death reshaped her path. 00:04 — What it means to be a “griever creating community” and why people need connection outside their family. 00:05 — Challenging the belief that “everyone grieves differently” and reframing grief as a collective experience. 00:06 — How public, creative expressions of grief revealed new ways people can heal together. 00:07 — Joining The Dinner Party and realizing the role of in-person community in grief support. 00:09 — Launching her first New York City grief mixers and discovering that people want to talk about grief. 00:10 — The origin story of being “the death of the party” and embracing authenticity in social spaces. 00:11 — Reframing grief as a continued relationship rather than something to move on from. 00:13 — Kathleen shares her own grief experience and discusses the discomfort of others avoiding the topic. 00:15 — Why grievers feel burdened asking to talk about their person—and why invitations matter. 00:16 — Challenging the cultural pressure to “find closure” or “move on.” 00:17 — Overview of Death of the Party events and how art, performance, and community rituals support expression. 00:21 — Grief, numbing, and the role of alcohol—why people seek escape and what healthier alternatives can offer. 00:24 — Melanie’s reframing of rituals and the idea of creating new, personal traditions. 00:26 — Examples of personal rituals: candles, gardening, art, shawls, favorite meals, and remembrance objects. 00:29 — Balancing grief with joy, and how certain rituals bring comfort rather than sadness. 00:30 — Music as both a trigger and a tool for connection in grief. 00:33 — Why grief events become “brave spaces,” not “safe spaces,” and the value of emotional discomfort. 00:34 — Melanie’s five-year commemoration ceremony for her father and reconnecting with his community. 00:36 — What it means to be a grief ally and how to hold space without fixing. 00:38 — Common mistakes people make when trying to comfort someone grieving—and language to avoid. 00:40 — How storytelling helps grievers integrate loss and strengthen continued bonds. 00:42 — Melanie’s advice for those afraid to face their grief: start small, stay intentional, and find community. 00:44 — Closing reflections and gratitude for Melanie’s wisdom. SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website

Ep 80Sobriety for Skeptics With Arlina Allen
In today’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we explore recovery and identity with Arlina Allen, who uses neuroscience principles to help people heal, regulate stress and rewrite their patterns. What happens when alcohol is no longer our coping strategy — and how do we rebuild our nervous system, our patterns, and our sense of self? With over 30 years of sobriety, Arlina has become a trusted voice in recovery, neuroscience, self-leadership, and sustainable change. She’s also the bestselling author of The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics and host of The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all self-help shows. This episode explores questions many women face in recovery: What if 12-step programs didn’t feel like your path—can they still work for you? How does identity, trauma, or high-functioning behavior shape addiction? Can we pursue ambition and protect our emotional health? Sonia and Arlina unpack how language—sober curious, gray area drinking, substance use disorder—can both define us and limit us, and how neuroscience can help explain cravings, coping strategies, and our repeated patterns. You'll hear practical strategies grounded in neuroscience, mindfulness, emotional resilience, and stress regulation—core principles in Arlina’s coaching programs and workshops. She breaks down how the default mode network shapes identity, the difference between spirituality and religion in recovery, and how self-regulation tools, time audits, somatic practices, and boundaries help reduce burnout without losing ambition. Recovery isn’t about adding more to your life—it’s often about subtracting what drains you. Arlina also opens up about drinking at age 10, surviving trauma, navigating intimacy, marriage, envy, perfectionism, and burnout—and how the emotional work of sobriety continues even after 31 years. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights[00:02:10] Drinking at age 10 — “relief before I understood pain” [00:04:35] High-functioning but spiraling — identity vs. consequences [00:07:00] The 12 steps as tools, even for skeptics [00:09:30] Spirituality vs religious trauma — redefining a higher power [00:11:20] Why “alcoholic” doesn’t have to be a shame label [00:13:15] Sober curious, gray area drinkers & language [00:15:10] Can AA work if you’re not fully abstinent? [00:19:00] Neuroscience 101 — the default mode network explained [00:21:50] Cortisol, sleep, neuroplasticity & emotional regulation [00:24:30] Childhood wiring and belief systems [00:27:40] Perfectionism, intimacy, and emotional avoidance [00:29:30] Working the steps inside marriage [00:33:25] Character defects vs character assets—reframing [00:36:40] Burnout in recovery — sneaky signs [00:39:45] Resentment, envy & high-performing women [00:44:00] “If you spot it, you’ve got it” — mirror theory [00:47:00] Time audits, priorities & time drunkenness [00:50:10] The Kool-Aid metaphor — why morning practices matter [00:54:05] Cultivating joy & experimenting with hobbies [00:56:20] “Recovery is about recovering your whole self” Connect With Arlina 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 79The Science of Self-Deception With Bizzie Gold
This episode dives into the hidden patterns that drive our behavior—the subconscious loops that keep us repeating choices we don’t even realize we’re making. Helping unpack it all is Bizzie Gold, tech founder, behavior futurist, and inventor of Brain Pattern Mapping, a groundbreaking system that predicts behavior and thought patterns with 98.3% accuracy. Through Break Method and her bestselling book Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar, Bizzie is redefining healing beyond coping—guiding people toward real personal agency. The discussion explores powerful questions: How do early experiences shape how we see the world? Why do we repeat cycles even when we know they’re hurting us? Is self-awareness enough—or is something deeper running the show? Bizzie breaks down perception, decision-making, emotional responses, trauma, addiction cycles, anxiety, and childhood conditioning. Sonia invites listeners to consider how distorted narratives, triggers, and brain patterns influence choices, relationships, substance use, and behavior—and how those patterns can actually be interrupted. You'll learn about subconscious programming, self-deception, childhood patterning, addictive cycles, and how the neurocognitive funnel predicts emotional and behavioral responses. Bizzie shares actionable insights on language architecture, pattern recognition, emotional regulation, brain mapping, and how neuroscience and data can create sustainable rewiring—not temporary fixes or codependent therapy patterns. It’s an eye-opening look at how behavior truly works—and how to start shifting out of survival mode. Later in the episode, Bizzie opens up about her own story—growing up as the young mediator in a chaotic home, living with panic attacks for a decade, and the spiritual moment at age 19 that changed her trajectory completely. Her journey moves from anxiety to agency, from curiosity to innovation—and from a napkin sketch to a powerful global behavior technology. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. ⏱️ Time-Stamped Highlights[00:01:00] Introducing Break Method and how it began [00:02:20] Childhood environment and hyper-awareness [00:03:15] Anxiety and insomnia shaping her worldview [00:05:00] Fight Club and the spark behind self-deception research [00:07:45] The moment panic attacks ended at age 19 [00:10:00] Controlled surrender vs. relying on willpower [00:12:30] Mapping faith and neuroscience together [00:14:00] The napkin moment: the birth of Break Method [00:17:20] Teaching thousands and tracking results [00:20:00] Efficacy rates and peer-reviewed research [00:21:45] Evolving Break into behavioral tech [00:22:10] What is a subconscious pattern? [00:23:00] Childhood cues and perception of safety [00:25:00] How reality becomes distorted [00:28:00] Addiction as downstream behavior [00:31:00] Seeing why someone uses—not just that they use [00:33:30] The prison experiment—transformation in two days [00:38:00] Uncovering abuse through behavior mapping [00:45:00] Language architecture and emotional loops [00:50:00] Why the brain prefers familiar pain [00:51:30] Where someone stuck in addiction should begin [00:54:00] Scaling the modality—training providers [00:55:00] The mission to bring this into schools SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 78How to Break the Anxiety Cycle With Emma McAdam
Anxiety, emotional regulation, intrusive thoughts, sobriety, and nervous system regulation—this Sisters in Sobriety episode gives you tools to cope and heal. This week, Sonia and Kathleen guide listeners through a grounded, compassionate conversation designed to help them understand anxiety, regulate intense emotions, and shift long-standing mental loops. Their guest is Emma McAdam, licensed marriage and family therapist and creator of the hugely popular YouTube channel Therapy in a Nutshell. Together, they unpack how anxiety works—and offer practical steps toward emotional resilience. Throughout the episode, they explore what fuels the anxiety cycle, why avoidance strengthens fear, and what it means to approach discomfort instead of escape it. You'll hear discussions on alcohol as a coping mechanism, early sobriety triggers, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, parenting anxious kids, and learning to make choices based on values instead of fear. These conversations tease out big themes around behavior change, emotional processing, and building self-trust. You'll walk away with a deep understanding of the anxiety cycle, avoidance behaviors, somatic grounding, diffusion techniques, exposure hierarchies, polyvagal-based calming strategies, intrusive thought interruptions, and morning light therapy. Emma explains why the brain is built for survival—not happiness—and how simple, consistent regulation practices retrain the nervous system. The episode also has personal storytelling—from Emma’s wilderness therapy beginnings and viral video journey to parenting anxious children and learning to separate identity from emotion. Sonia shares what it felt like to confront raw feelings after quitting alcohol, while Kathleen reflects on helping her daughter build emotional resilience. Together, they show how healing happens in real life: messy, imperfect, and full of slow, meaningful growth. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 77How to Find Your Spark Again in Midlife with Shannon Watts
Sobriety, midlife purpose, and finding your spark again. Sonia sits down with activist and author Shannon Watts. Shannon is the founder of Moms Demand Action, the nation’s largest grassroots group fighting gun violence. She led the organization to pass over 500 gun-safety laws and mobilize millions of supporters. She’s been named one of TIME’s 100 Most Influential People, a Forbes 50 Over 50 Changemaker, and a Glamour Woman of the Year. In 2025 she published her book Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. Together, they talk about what it really looks like to rebuild your life when the old one stops fitting. Shannon shares the story of her own “wake-up moment,” and Sonia brings her lived experience of starting over, making hard pivots, and learning to own her sobriety without apology. This episode is all about finding your spark again, even if you haven’t felt it in years. Sonia and Shannon dive into the big questions so many women wrestle with in midlife: How do you know when you’re meant for something more? What if you’ve spent decades doing what you were supposed to do instead of what you actually want? How do you handle people’s opinions when you finally step into your power? And what happens when drinking, dating, parenting, obligations, burnout, and old roles start to clash with the woman you’re becoming? Listeners will walk away with practical guidance and clarity around what lights them up. Shannon shares her simple framework for figuring out your next chapter, how to deal with criticism without shrinking, and why rest, boundaries, community, and honesty matter more than perfection. This episode also looks at signs you might be ready for a change, the myths about “purpose,” the pressure women carry in midlife, and the surprising freedom that comes with not caring what everyone else thinks. Sonia opens up about dating in sobriety, making herself small for years, and the moment she realized she didn’t need to apologize for the life she’s building. Shannon shares the realities of starting a national movement while raising five kids, navigating co-parenting, dealing with internet trolls, and knowing when it was finally time to step back. It’s heartfelt, real, and filled with the kind of “me too” moments that make women feel less alone. Episode Highlights 01:00 Shannon shares the moment she realized her life wasn’t aligned anymore 03:12 The emergency room visit that became her turning point 04:10 How journaling helped her map out a completely different future 06:02 Shannon explains her “values, abilities, desires” formula 07:15 Why so many women put obligations before what they actually want 09:20 The guilt and shame that show up when women start changing their lives 11:05 Sonia talks about the date that made her second-guess her sobriety identity 12:14 Shannon’s advice for handling criticism without shrinking 16:08 What launching Moms Demand Action looked like behind the scenes 18:02 The fear moms have about pursuing desires “at the expense of their kids” 20:40 How to know it’s time for a pivot even without a dramatic crisis 23:05 Discovering abilities you don’t realize you have 25:00 Sonia shares how nightly drinking revealed deeper misalignment 26:15 Shannon on her “controlled burn” approach to clearing space for change 28:20 The difference between true urgency and pressure we put on ourselves 30:12 Why Gen X women have more freedom in midlife than we realize 33:00 Shannon redefines success after years of burnout and martyrdom 35:18 How female friendships became the backbone of her second chapter 37:05 Sonia talks about intentionally rebuilding her community 40:22 The hardest “no” Shannon ever had to make in her career 46:04 The early “failure” that ended up shaping her entire movement 47:18 What Shannon hopes her next decade looks like SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 76Hard Truths About Infidelity Part 2
Infidelity, emotional sobriety, and recovery collide in this raw and honest continuation of the Sisters in Sobriety infidelity chat. In today’s episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore what happens when betrayal shows up in a relationship — and how to navigate it without abandoning yourself or your sobriety. They dig into the emotional rollercoaster, the shame that can surface on both sides, and the surprising ways infidelity can mimic relapse patterns even without alcohol involved. We'll unpack: what does emotional sobriety look like when your heart just got shattered? Can cheating happen as a form of emotional escape? How do you stay grounded when your nervous system is on fire and every coping mechanism is calling your name? And why does early recovery sometimes make people more vulnerable to risky behavior and emotional impulsivity? You'll hear strategies for repairing trust, protecting your recovery, and reconnecting with your values — even when life feels like it’s exploded. Sonia also opens up about her own experience with infidelity in her marriage, the fight to stay sober through heartbreak, and the fierce determination to not let someone else's choices take away the life she worked so hard to build. Together, she and Kathleen explore what healing can look like — and what they wish they knew back then about boundaries, self-trust, and choosing yourself in the aftermath. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights00:00 – The story starts with cruise-chaos and questionable onboard sushi 01:55 – A pivot from food poisoning to infidelity and emotional sobriety 02:58 – Emotional sobriety explained — steadiness when life gets messy 04:03 – Cheating as misalignment with values, not a “good vs bad person” label 05:26 – Emotional relapse vs physical relapse, and where infidelity fits in 06:41 – Dishonesty, avoidance, and numbing behaviors as warning signs 07:34 – What staying sober through betrayal actually feels like 08:17 – Accountability as the foundation for emotional recovery 09:08 – How betrayal can trigger old coping urges and emotional spiraling 10:03 – The difference between staying sober and staying emotionally regulated 11:12 – “You won’t take my sobriety too” — sobriety as rebellion and self-protection 12:17 – The dopamine hit of infidelity and temptation in early recovery 13:12 – Pause, play the tape forward, ruin the fantasy (and save yourself) 14:19 – Stumbling doesn't end your recovery — denial does 15:37 – Hyper-vigilance vs healing — and why control isn’t safety 17:45 – Avoiding conflict vs actually repairing the relationship 19:40 – The messy reality of sexual communication after betrayal 20:53 – Sonia reflects on self-blame and impossible expectations 23:40 – Letting go of “if I do everything right, they won’t cheat” 26:22 – A grounding tool for the day after everything falls apart 28:10 – Closing gratitude + a reminder that healing is possible SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 75Hard Truths About Infidelity Part 1
Infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences in any relationship—and for many, it can also become a turning point. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, hosts Sonia and Kathleen unpack what it really means to stay emotionally sober through betrayal, heartbreak, and healing. Drawing on their own lived experiences and Kathleen’s clinical expertise, they’ll help you understand not only why infidelity happens, but how to navigate the emotional fallout with clarity, self-compassion, and growth. Together, they explore questions many of us have struggled with in silence: What counts as cheating? Is emotional infidelity just as damaging as physical betrayal? Can a relationship ever truly recover from deceit? And how do alcohol, secrecy, and unmet needs complicate our choices—and our healing? From defining betrayal to understanding why it feels so personal, this conversation offers both insight and empathy for anyone who’s been on either side of infidelity. Listeners will learn how infidelity impacts emotional sobriety, the difference between emotional and physical affairs, and how alcohol can blur—but never justify—boundaries. Kathleen breaks down the psychology of betrayal, explaining the roles of trust, attachment, and validation, while Sonia opens up about her own experience of infidelity and what it taught her about resilience, self-worth, and the power of sitting with discomfort. You’ll walk away with practical insights about rebuilding trust, recognizing red flags, and understanding when it’s time to rebuild—or let go. Finally, Sonia shares a deeply personal story about the aftermath of her own betrayal—the shock, the anger, and the white-knuckled early days of staying sober through grief—while Kathleen reflects on what it takes to heal, whether together or apart. Their raw honesty and humor make space for reflection, laughter, and growth, even in the messy middle of heartbreak. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Sonia and Kathleen kick off with humor and a “dating disaster” red flag story 01:30 – Introducing the topic: why infidelity brings even the strongest to their knees 03:00 – Defining what “infidelity” really means—beyond just sex 04:15 – Kathleen explains deception and secrecy as the real breach of trust 05:45 – Emotional cheating vs. friendship—where’s the line? 07:00 – The danger of fantasy and emotional displacement 08:00 – A lighthearted detour into Jason Momoa and fantasy boundaries 09:00 – Alcohol and infidelity—how lowered inhibitions aren’t the same as lost morals 10:30 – Sonia recalls the difference between blackouts and passing out 11:15 – Why betrayal feels like a personal rejection (and why it’s not about you) 12:00 – The “roommate syndrome” and what makes relationships vulnerable 13:30 – Kathleen explains how discomfort avoidance fuels betrayal 14:30 – Sobriety and infidelity—why staying sober makes you feel more, not less 16:00 – Can good relationships survive cheating? 17:00 – When infidelity isn’t about love, but about lost identity 18:30 – Rebuilding after betrayal—what it really takes 19:30 – The long road back to trust and why it’s often harder than people realize 20:30 – “Punishment mode” after infidelity and the death-by-a-thousand-cuts dynamic 22:00 – Is it ever just about sex? Desire discrepancy and longing for aliveness 23:15 – Esther Perel’s perspective on why people cheat 24:30 – Navigating the recovery process: disclosure, accountability, and trust rebuilding 25:45 – Setting communication boundaries when discussing betrayal 27:00 – Why triggers can reappear years later—and how to respond with empathy 28:00 – When it’s time to walk away with love and clarity 29:00 – The importance of remorse, accountability, and emotional safety 30:00 – Closing reflections and the promise of a follow-up episode on emotional sobriety SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 74The Good Daughter Trap: Guilt, Family & Freedom with Sahaj Kohli
Bicultural identity, authenticity, boundaries, and belonging — this week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with award-winning therapist, author, and Washington Post columnist Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy (@browngirltherapy). Sahaj is the author of But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures and host of So We’ve Been Told. Together, Sonia and Sahaj explore how culture shapes our emotional lives and what it really means to honor your identity while protecting your mental health. This conversation unpacks what happens when cultural expectations collide with personal truth. Sonia and Sahaj discuss why “just be yourself” can be harmful advice for children of immigrants, how boundaries sound different across cultures, and why guilt and shame can linger even in healing. They dive into the nuances of bicultural identity, family dynamics, and how recovery and self-discovery intersect when you grow up between worlds. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of bicultural identity, intergenerational trauma, authenticity, and decolonizing mental health. Sahaj explains how Western therapy often misses cultural context and why redefining concepts like boundaries, self-care, and recovery through a collectivist lens can change everything. She shares practical frameworks for discernment, emotional safety, and reclaiming ancestral wisdom in modern mental-health practices. Sonia also shares her personal story of navigating no contact, cultural shame, and the grief that comes with estrangement. Together, she and Sahaj reflect on how to hold compassion for parents shaped by survival, while creating space for your own healing. It’s a candid and heartfelt conversation about identity, duty, and the freedom to choose what wholeness means to you. This is Sisters in Sobriety — the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights[00:00:00] Introduction to Sahaj Kaur Kohli and her work bridging mental health and culture [00:02:00] The origins of Brown Girl Therapy and how identity crises inspired it [00:04:00] Why “boundaries” can feel unnatural in collectivist families [00:05:30] Reframing boundaries as compromise, connection, and care [00:06:30] The myth of authenticity when you live between cultures [00:08:00] Adapting between cultural spaces without losing yourself [00:09:30] The difference between hiding and lying in family systems [00:12:00] When immigrant parents surprise you with growth and empathy [00:13:30] Narrative therapy and rewriting generational family stories [00:16:00] “What will people say?” and the survival logic behind shame [00:18:00] Intergenerational trauma and assimilation through an immigrant lens [00:20:00] Drinking culture, gender, and coping in Punjabi families [00:23:30] How recovery language often excludes cultural context [00:26:00] What culturally responsive recovery could look like [00:29:00] The role of shame across cultures and its impact on healing [00:31:00] What it means to decolonize mental-health practices [00:33:00] When duty is love — and when it becomes control [00:36:00] Setting boundaries and practicing discernment with family [00:39:00] Grieving family estrangement and re-parenting yourself [00:44:00] Redefining self-care as collective and cultural care [00:47:00] What’s next for Sahaj and Brown Girl Therapy SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 73What Science Really Says About Recovery With Dr. John Kelly
Harvard’s Dr. John Kelly joins Sisters in Sobriety to unpack the science of recovery, language, and what really works long-term. Addiction recovery isn’t a mystery—it’s a science. Dr.Kelly, Professor of Psychiatry in Addiction Medicine and Founder of the Recovery Research Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital. Together, they explore what the data actually shows about recovery, relapse, language, and long-term healing—and how our understanding of addiction has evolved far beyond stigma and shame. Throughout this conversation, Sonia and Kathleen unpack big questions about recovery and remission: Is addiction really a chronic disease—or does that label sometimes hurt more than it helps? How does the language we use—terms like “abuser,” “addict,” or even “clean”—impact recovery outcomes? And what does the evidence say about the effectiveness of AA compared to other programs and modern approaches to long-term sobriety? They talk about key scientific and psychological concepts such as behavioral mechanisms of recovery, language-based stigma reduction, chronic disease framing, psychosocial support networks, and gender differences in relapse and recovery. Dr. Kelly explains why AA remains the most evidence-based recovery tool for alcohol use disorder, how social connection drives sustained remission, and why linking clinical care to community-based supports is critical to long-term success. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares how fear of stigma once kept her from seeking help while she was still a practicing dentist—and how Dr. Kelly’s research validates those fears and offers a new framework for compassionate understanding. Together, they discuss what’s changing in the recovery landscape—from virtual meetings to redefining “recovery” itself—and how science is helping rewrite the story of what healing can look like. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped)00:00 – Sonia and Kathleen introduce Dr. John Kelly, Harvard Professor and Founder of the Recovery Research Institute. 01:30 – Dr. Kelly shares how personal experience drew him to addiction medicine. 03:10 – Why short-term treatment isn’t enough—and the importance of long-term recovery support. 04:20 – Understanding the “chronic disease” model of addiction: when it helps and when it harms. 05:45 – The surprising statistic: 72% of people with substance use disorders achieve sustained remission. 06:50 – How language shapes stigma—why “abuser” versus “person with a substance use disorder” matters. 08:40 – Studies showing clinicians and the public are both biased by the words we use. 10:30 – How self-stigma can lead to treatment dropout and hinder recovery. 12:15 – The neuroscience of addiction: how chronic exposure changes the brain. 14:10 – Why clinicians need better training in screening, coding, and compassionate documentation. 17:00 – Sonia shares her personal fear of seeking help due to professional stigma. 18:20 – What “recovery” really means—and how to define it beyond remission. 21:40 – Dr. Kelly’s analogy of photosynthesis and “psychosynthesis” in human recovery. 24:00 – What decades of research show about AA’s effectiveness and why it works. 26:40 – The difference between process addictions and substance use disorders. 27:40 – AA’s abstinence roots—and how it evolved over time. 31:10 – Who benefits most from AA, and who might need alternative programs. 34:00 – Comparing AA to Smart Recovery, LifeRing, and Women for Sobriety. 39:00 – The science behind why AA works: social networks, coping skills, and self-efficacy. 43:30 – Gender differences in recovery: how AA supports women differently than men. 48:00 – Dr. Kelly’s current research on relapse after long-term remission. 51:00 – His vision for an integrated, wraparound system of recovery support. 54:00 – How to reach the 80% of people with untreated addiction. 56:00 – The future of virtual recovery meetings and what researchers are exploring next. 57:00 – Final reflections on redefining recovery and sustaining remission over a lifetime. Dr. Kelly's Links🔗 Recovery Research Institute 🔗 Cochrane Systematic Review: Alcoholics Anonymous and Other 12-Step Programs 🔗 Cochrane Author Interview with Dr. John Kelly SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 72Feng Shui, Crystals & Biophilic Living with Alejandra Brady
When it comes to transforming your environment, the energy of a space can be just as powerful as its aesthetics. On this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we explore how intentional design, Feng Shui, and spiritual alignment can support wellness, recovery, and renewal. Joining Sonia is Alejandra G. Brady—Founder & Visionary of Casa Shui Life, Feng Shui & Biophilic Designer, best-selling author, and energy alchemist. With over two decades in luxury interiors, Alejandra pivoted her career after a profound awakening at age 50, weaving ancient energetic practices into her design work to help clients create sanctuaries that heal, inspire, and uplift. In their conversation, they dive into what Feng Shui really is (beyond the myths), how our homes can impact health, relationships, and creativity, and the subtle yet powerful shifts that make a space magnetic. Together, they explore questions like: What does it mean to “sleep under knives”? Why is the bedroom the most important room for love and rest? How can unused or cluttered spaces block abundance? And how do color, light, and texture play into energy flow? Listeners will walk away with practical takeaways on how to shift their own spaces using intentional placement, the Bagua map, biophilic principles, and crystals. You’ll learn why small choices—like moving an heirloom, clearing out old love letters, or balancing elements with plants and lighting—can have ripple effects in your health, wealth, relationships, and emotional clarity. Beyond the design tools, Alejandra shares deeply personal stories: her health struggles and surgeries leading up to her 50th birthday, the life-changing consultation with her mentor, and how she became her own first “Feng Shui client.” She recounts the dramatic changes in her own home, her spiritual awakening, and the unexpected calling to write her memoir I Just Can’t Make This Sh!t Up. They reflect with her on how space can heal grief, nurture sobriety, and anchor a new chapter of life with intention and beauty. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights00:00 – Welcoming Alejandra Brady and her journey from luxury interiors to Feng Shui 02:00 – The health crises at age 50 that became a turning point 04:30 – Her first Feng Shui consultation and the life-changing mentorship that followed 06:15 – Why certification in Feng Shui matters when working with energy 08:00 – How meditation led to writing her memoir and oracle deck 10:00 – The surprising role of silverware under the bed and the connection to surgeries 13:30 – How clearing a client’s old love letters invited in a new partner 16:00 – Bedroom Feng Shui: rest, romance, and relaxation as the foundation 18:00 – The “coffin position” and practical adjustments for better sleep 20:30 – Why single artwork or photos can unintentionally block love 22:00 – Using crystals like rose quartz for love and amethyst for sobriety support 24:00 – Avoiding clutter while integrating crystals intentionally into design 26:00 – Protecting energy as a practitioner with crystals in everyday life 27:00 – Where to source crystals and how to clear them 29:30 – Broken objects, wealth corners, and knowing when to release or repurpose 31:00 – The dramatic story of a client healing after moving a painting of water 34:00 – Literal connections between words (“burnt out”) and home energy 36:00 – Understanding the Bagua map and the nine areas of life it represents 40:00 – How interconnected areas (wealth, career, fame) affect one another 42:00 – Using Feng Shui for both large and micro spaces—even a mattress 44:00 – The importance of keeping unused rooms alive with intention 47:00 – Creating multifunctional rooms that support family and life transitions 50:00 – How colors, textures, and the five elements (fire, water, earth, wood, metal) balance a space 53:00 – Triple-duty design: objects that bring multiple elements into balance 55:00 – Live plants vs. fake plants—what really matters energetically 56:30 – Preserved flowers, sentimental items, and when joy overrides rules 57:00 – Alejandra’s current projects, travel plans, and future online courses Alejandra's Links📸 Alejandra G. Brady Instagram SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 71Storytelling, NLP, and Sobriety with Marsha W
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dive into the power of storytelling, resilience, and rewriting our lives with special guest Marsha Vanwynsberghe. Marsha is the founder of OUTSPOKEN, a leadership platform designed to help female entrepreneurs rise as global thought leaders through coaching, writing, speaking, and publishing. As an NLP Trainer, six-time Best-Selling Author, and Boutique Publisher, she empowers her clients to rewire limiting beliefs and build confidence. Today, Sonia and Kathleen explore how her unique blend of personal story and professional expertise helps women transform pain into purpose. Together, they unpack what it really means to share your story, the difference between wounds and scars, how emotions live in the body, and why resilience doesn’t mean going it alone. They also talk about the role of subconscious patterns in shaping our behavior, the signals cravings send us, and how practices like NLP and reframing beliefs can shift everything from self-worth to success. Listeners will come away with practical tools for emotional processing, boundary setting, and storytelling. Key takeaways include understanding how emotions last only 90 seconds unless we attach a story, why humor and reframing are powerful tools to loosen old narratives, and how to interrupt negative thought loops with curiosity and new language. You’ll also learn how NLP helps reprogram the subconscious mind so that the conscious goals you set actually stick. On a more personal note, Marsha opens up about her journey through family addiction, living with endometriosis, and how early experiences with shame shaped her emotional landscape. She shares how storytelling became her healing tool, what it took to forgive herself, and how she moved from silence to speaking boldly. Sonia and Kathleen also bring their own stories to the conversation, making this a raw, relatable, and uplifting episode you won’t want to miss. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights00:01:00 – Marsha shares her transition from kinesiology to coaching and NLP 00:02:45 – Her experience with teen substance abuse and how it changed her family’s story 00:04:10 – The truth about resilience: why it doesn’t mean doing it alone 00:05:30 – How storytelling became a guidebook for others in similar struggles 00:07:15 – Recognizing the generational silence around addiction and shame 00:08:20 – Forgiving herself and reframing past failures 00:09:40 – Difference between telling your story “in it” vs. “on it” 00:11:10 – Wounds vs. scars: why healing requires more than time 00:13:30 – Writing a book while still in the story and how to cope 00:15:10 – Using humor to loosen the subconscious grip of painful stories 00:17:20 – How emotions live in the body and why they last only 90 seconds 00:20:10 – Identifying trigger emotions and patterns 00:23:15 – How unprocessed emotions manifest as physical illness 00:25:30 – Shame, trauma, and how blocked emotions limit joy 00:28:15 – The difference between feeding and feeling emotions 00:29:40 – What happens when people in sobriety stop numbing emotions 00:33:00 – Curiosity as a tool to manage cravings and triggers 00:36:20 – What NLP is and how it rewires subconscious beliefs 00:40:00 – The role of language in reinforcing or breaking down beliefs 00:57:00 – Visualization, manifestation, and acting “as if” Marsha’s Links 🔗 Marsha’s Website 📸 Marsha on Instagram SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 70Hotter Midlife Sex With Karen Bigman
Sex after 50 doesn’t have to mean slowing down — it can mean leveling up. On this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Karen Bigman, a Certified Sex Educator and Sex & Dating Coach who hosts Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50. Karen isn’t afraid to talk about what really goes on in the bedroom. With humor and zero shame, she helps women in midlife ditch outdated scripts, embrace their desires, and create hotter, more connected relationships — no matter their age. They talk about all the things we wish someone had told us sooner: what changes during menopause, how to redefine intimacy, what dating looks like after divorce, and why pleasure and connection don’t come with an expiration date. Sonia asks Karen the tough (and often taboo) questions: How do you rebuild sexual confidence after a breakup? What role do hormones play in libido? How do you navigate kinks, red flags, and sober dating in midlife? They'll give real-world insights on topics like hormone replacement therapy, the role of testosterone in women’s sexual health, how to reset after a painful sexual experience, and the importance of communication when it comes to intimacy. Karen also shares practical advice on using lube, understanding your body, exploring non-sexual intimacy, and setting healthy expectations in relationships and dating. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights[00:01:00] Karen’s journey from divorce coach to launching Taboo to Truth [00:02:30] The book club moment that sparked her mission to break sexual taboos [00:03:20] Why an old flame’s comment about “women your age” lit a fire under her [00:04:00] Struggling with orgasm and the surprising role of testosterone [00:05:00] The doctor’s appointment — and the vibrator — that changed her life [00:06:00] Finding inclusivity and growth in the Sexual Health Alliance community [00:07:20] How a lingerie photo shoot helped her feel more comfortable in her body [00:08:30] The importance of rejecting the outdated “I’m done with sex” script [00:09:40] Hormone replacement therapy — benefits and misconceptions [00:11:00] Body acceptance, aging, and wearing bikinis anyway [00:12:30] Non-sexual intimacy and rebuilding after divorce [00:14:00] What menopause really does to your vulva and clitoris [00:15:30] The realities of dating in your 40s, 50s, and 60s [00:17:30] Red flags to watch for when reentering the dating scene [00:18:20] Dating sober vs. dating with “beer goggles” [00:20:00] How to talk about STIs, sobriety, and other “taboo” disclosures [00:23:00] Why communication about sex and money is non-negotiable [00:26:00] Decoding kink, fantasies, and consent in midlife dating [00:32:00] Resetting after painful or disappointing sexual experiences [00:36:00] How to stop falling into “duty sex” patterns [00:41:00] Why sexual incompatibility might mean relationship incompatibility [00:42:00] Karen’s next taboo to explore: sex parties Karen’s LinksInstagram: @taboototruth YouTube: @taboototruthpodcast Karen Bigman on LinkedIn SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 69A Boundary Guide With Jessica Miller
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by Jessica Miller, clinical therapist and host of Mind Your Boundaries on YouTube. Jessica is a passionate boundary enthusiast who helps peacekeepers and people-pleasers set and maintain healthy boundaries with challenging family members. Together, they dive into the intersection of boundaries, emotional maturity, and sobriety—exploring how clear limits can protect recovery and build healthier relationships. Jessica, Sonia, and Kathleen explore questions like: How do you know when a relationship is draining and could threaten your sobriety? What’s the difference between a healthy boundary and punishment? When is guilt helpful, and when is it just old conditioning? They talk about estrangement, reconciliation, and why emotional maturity matters when setting boundaries with parents, partners, and friends. By the end of this episode, you’ll have practical tools to: Spot when resentment is building and use boundaries to keep relationships strong Tell the difference between a request and a true boundary (and why that difference matters) Recognize emotional immaturity—both in others and in yourself Reframe guilt so it stops running the show Use kind but firm language to hold your boundaries without turning it into a fight Sonia and Kathleen share real-life examples of what it looks like to set boundaries with family during early sobriety, including tough moments around holidays and parenting decisions. Jessica opens up about her own two-year estrangement with her in-laws, how they reconciled, and the peace that comes from replacing resentment with clarity. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights[00:01:00] Why Jessica started Mind Your Boundaries and the gap she saw during the pandemic [00:03:00] Her personal journey from “too nice” peacekeeper to boundary-setting advocate [00:04:00] The painful estrangement with her in-laws that became a turning point [00:05:00] Reconciling after two years and doing it intentionally, step by step [00:07:00] Sonia and Kathleen share a family birthday story that triggered years of no-contact [00:09:00] Direct vs subtle boundaries—why sometimes you can just act instead of announce [00:10:00] Examples of modern parenting boundaries, like holding a baby to prevent unwanted kisses [00:12:00] Why someone else’s reaction to your boundary is about their maturity level [00:13:00] Healthy vs punitive boundaries and how they protect relationships [00:14:00] Sonia on how getting sober exposed just how few boundaries she had [00:15:00] Kathleen’s “24-hour rule” with her mom and how the body signals a limit [00:17:00] Early sobriety: why you can simply decline invitations without a big explanation [00:18:00] The difference between avoidance and capacity-based boundaries [00:19:00] Temporary breaks vs permanent cutoffs—and how to heal without an apology [00:22:00] Preparing mentally and emotionally before you set or enforce a boundary [00:24:00] Parenting examples: turning requests into real boundaries with action steps [00:26:00] The “sandwich” script formula: attachment → limit → benefit [00:27:00] Long-term benefit: resentment melts away and relationships feel lighter [00:28:00] Healthy guilt vs conditioned guilt—and why picking guilt prevents resentment [00:31:00] Hallmarks of emotional immaturity: deflection, lack of accountability, me-centered reactions [00:34:00] Self-check: spotting moments when we might be emotionally immature [00:38:00] Exercises for growing emotional maturity: journaling, voice notes, nervous system regulation [00:39:00] Jessica’s printable resource: 13 common sobriety boundary scenarios with scripts Jessica’s Links🎥 MYB YouTube 🧰 Boundary Breakthrough Toolkit SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 68Making Sobriety Fun Again With Kristen McGuiness
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with bestselling author, storyteller, and coach Kristen McGuiness. Kristen is the author of 51/50: The Magical Adventures of a Single Life, her memoir about 51 dates in 50 weeks as a sober thirty-something navigating heartbreak, healing, and reinvention in Los Angeles. Today, she’s the CEO of Rise Literary and writes for outlets like The New York Times, Rolling Stone, and Marie Claire. The conversation explores how Kristen created fun in early sobriety, what it took to spot red flags in dating, and how recovery can reshape your ideas of community, love, and marriage. She reflects on her wild twenties, the moment she decided enough was enough, and the role that therapy and 12-step programs played in helping her get sober for good. Kristen shares powerful insights about creating a social life without alcohol, redefining intimacy, and staying grounded through parenting, marriage, and running a seven-figure business. She opens up about what sobriety looks like for her today, how she maintains a spiritual practice, and why community remains at the heart of her recovery. Sonia and Kathleen also share their own dating stories and thoughts on marriage, space, and independence, making this a raw, real, and relatable episode for anyone rethinking what love and partnership look like in sobriety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights[00:01:00] Kristen introduces herself and shares her messy twenties before getting sober [00:03:00] Stories of nightlife, risky behavior, and the moment she realized things had to change [00:06:00] How therapy and 12-step programs became her entry point into sobriety [00:09:00] Family intervention: the moment her uncles offered her a lifeline [00:10:00] Kristen reflects on her fear of losing fun when she first got sober [00:11:00] Building a foundation of fun in sobriety—clubbing sober and creating costumes [00:13:00] Community as the secret weapon for staying sober and rewiring habits [00:15:00] Loving life sober—how recovery became about joy, not just abstinence [00:16:00] The origin story of 51/50 and how dating became a creative project [00:18:00] Combining therapy, shamanic healing, and deep self-work while dating [00:20:00] Redefining what she wanted in relationships and how her uncles modeled healthy masculinity [00:23:00] Growing up emotionally in recovery and feeling “ten years behind” [00:25:00] Realization that being single was the real adventure—not just a bridge to marriage [00:28:00] Reinventing marriage rules: two homes, more freedom, and honest conversations [00:30:00] Kristen’s perspective on ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, and independence [00:31:00] The role of sex in dating—when it’s meaningful and when it’s just fun [00:34:00] How intimacy has shifted in a long-term marriage and parenting partnership [00:38:00] Raising kids in sobriety and passing on values of service and generosity [00:43:00] Sobriety today—spiritual practices, community, and why meetings aren’t her mainstay [00:46:00] The importance of honesty, accountability, and spiritual tools in long-term recovery Kristen's Links Rise Literary website SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 67Relearning Intimacy with Taylor McConnachie
This episode of Sisters in Sobriety dives into sober sex, desire, and rebuilding intimacy without substances with guest Taylor McConnachie - Registered Psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist, founder of Embodied Sexual Wellness & Psychotherapy in Simcoe, Ontario. Taylor specializes in holistic sex therapy that blends science, somatics, and the sacred to help people heal shame, navigate desire discrepancies, and cultivate empowered sexuality. The answer questions that many sober (and sober-curious) listeners ask: What actually changes about desire and arousal in sobriety? How do somatic practices, mindful masturbation, and body scans help you get out of your head and into your body? What if there’s a desire discrepancy in a long-term relationship—or you’re dating for the first time sober and can’t tell whether you’re attracted? And how do we redefine intimacy when performance anxiety, shame, or old narratives show up? They'll talk about clear, trauma-informed steps to rebuild sexual wellbeing: using body scans to notice sensation without judgment; practicing mindful masturbation to shift from performance to presence; understanding spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why sobriety often tilts toward responsive); approaching erectile concerns and arousal blocks through reconnection rather than quick fixes; and reframing “frequency goals” to reduce pressure and increase genuine sexual satisfaction. Expect grounded strategies that integrate attachment, somatics, and practical communication skills. Taylor also shares personal and clinical stories—from her own journey with pelvic pain and endometriosis in a rural community with few resources to real-world examples of couples rediscovering vulnerability as the engine of intimacy. Sonia opens up about her “sober sexual debut,” fumbling, and learning to feel desire without the shortcut of alcohol. They'll unpack the grief for what sex used to feel like and the hope of what it can become with curiosity and compassion. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00:43 — Why sex therapy needs to be its own specialty (and why many therapists aren’t trained to talk about sex) 00:03:10 — Taylor’s path: pelvic pain, endometriosis, and building the practice she needed but couldn’t find 00:05:02 — When a couples therapist refers to a sex therapist (scope, overlap, and teamwork) 00:07:12 — Certification matters: what AASECT tells you about training and safety 00:09:18 — Only ~14 AASECT-certified sex therapists in Canada—why that scarcity matters for care access 00:10:20 — From CBT to somatics: helping clients get out of their heads and into their bodies 00:12:05 — “Science meets the sacred”: honoring evidence while rejecting rigid pathologizing 00:14:52 — Movement as medicine: reconnecting with arousal and erection through embodied practice 00:16:48 — Pleasure after shame: the first time a client truly feels what their body can do 00:18:07 — Sober sex 101: noticing more (and why that can feel overwhelming and beautiful) 00:20:02 — Mindful masturbation as foundational homework for sober intimacy 00:22:31 — Presence over performance: rewiring dopamine loops without substances 00:23:14 — Performance anxiety myths: why sobriety can improve erectile function 00:26:12 — Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and why sobriety often shifts the balance 00:29:05 — Grieving the old high: processing disappointment when sober sex feels different 00:31:22 — Normalize the fumble: reducing shame to unlock curiosity and desire 00:34:18 — Emotional intimacy as the gateway to sexual intimacy (and how to build it) 00:37:05 — Practicing vulnerability in bite-size reps to increase safety and trust 00:40:02 — Desire discrepancy is common: moving from urgency to understanding 00:45:02 — Taking sex off the pedestal: experiments that reveal what’s really holding a relationship together 00:46:18 — First step if you feel disconnected: body scans, zero judgment, gentle repetition Taylor's Links 📸 Instagram: @embodiedsexualwellness 🌐 Website: embodiedsexualwellness.com SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Breaking Negative Patterns With Cheryl Pasieka
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dig into what it really takes to move from white-knuckling it to building a life rooted in calm, purpose, and—yes—joy. They’re joined by Cheryl Pasieka, author of Climbing the Stairs: My Journey from Addiction to Pure Joy, who shares how rehab, mindfulness, and a fierce commitment to self-care helped her stop hiding behind alcohol and start living on her own terms. Cheryl brings hard-won wisdom and practical tools for women in recovery. Across the conversation, they explore the fears that surface in early sobriety (What if I fail? What will people think?), how to set boundaries with negative energy, and what it means to choose sustainable joy over short-term relief. They touch on midlife purpose, rebuilding self-esteem, creating accountability, and why sharing your story can become someone else’s survival guide. Expect talk of relapse risk, root causes, nervous-system regulation, and using community, routine, and self-inquiry as anchors. Listeners will learn about reflective journaling (and the game-changer of rereading old entries), building a sobriety plan you revisit every six months, using mindfulness, yoga, and meditation to regulate stress, and creating accountability check-ins with trusted friends. Cheryl explains how to identify triggers, let go of resentments, and replace people-pleasing with “put your own oxygen mask on first.” You’ll also hear a refreshing definition of joy—a daily practice of noticing, gratitude, and positive reframing—that helps prevent drift into rumination or “I’ll just have one” thinking. Cheryl opens up about losing her mother, the spiral that followed, and the decision to go to rehab on Vancouver Island—phone surrendered, excuses stripped away. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00 – Toronto roots, quick hellos, and Cheryl’s book intro, Climbing the Stairs 02:05 – “I wanted sustainable joy”—why grief and stress made moderation impossible 03:10 – Vancouver Island rehab: no phone, no running, just the work 04:12 – The first two years: fear of failure, meetings, yoga, and perseverance 05:06 – “What if I fail publicly?”—accountability and shame in early sobriety 06:02 – Why “just cut back” advice from some doctors misses the disease entirely 07:20 – Oxygen mask first: releasing people-pleasing and caring less what others think 08:05 – The quote that sparked the memoir and a surprising push from a psychic 09:18 – From private journaling to “maybe this can help one person” publishing mindset 10:45 – Telling family and friends—acceptance, boundaries, and letting some people drift 12:02 – Owning the past: divorces, resentments, and the freedom of self-acceptance 15:04 – Root causes: self-esteem, secrets, and climbing into the hole when alone 16:10 – Defining joy: reframing the day, gratitude, and the Tim Hortons “rain vs spring” story 18:02 – Calm as part of joy: taking things as they come instead of spiraling 19:06 – Protecting energy: stepping back from chronic negativity without guilt 21:02 – The morning stack: journal, meditation, movement, and a girlfriends’ daily check-in 22:40 – Weekly accountability now, occasional counseling as needed—right-sizing support 23:36 – “Planting my own garden”: self-care as not waiting for permission (or flowers) 24:12 – Midlife meaning: six-month reviews, giving back, quilting for folks in need 27:02 – The power of rereading journals: past you showing present you the way through Cheryl's Links www.journeytopurejoy.ca SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your Wellness Blueprint with Dr. Rao
Sonia and her guest, Dr. Jyothi Rao, are diving into the kind of whole-body wellness that actually sticks. Dr. Rao is the Medical Director of Shakthi Health and Wellness Center in Maryland, blending science and compassion to help people get to the root of what’s going on in their bodies. She has over 25 years of experience helping patients turn their health around—plus she’s the author of Body on Fire and Body on Fire Cookbook. They’re talking about the big picture: why your energy might still be low even after ditching alcohol, how stress and sleep are secretly running the show, and what small daily shifts can make the biggest difference. Expect an easy-to-follow chat about inflammation, gut health, circadian rhythm, and what’s really going on with midlife hormones. Dr. Rao breaks down what actually works when it comes to lowering inflammation, balancing blood sugar, and building the kind of energy you can count on. You’ll learn how light exposure affects your sleep, why protein timing matters, and how things like strength training, hydration, and even acupuncture can help your body feel like yours again. This isn’t about overhauling your whole life—it’s about finding simple, doable steps that build on each other. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights (time-stamped) 00:00 — Why integrative medicine matters in sobriety 02:18 — Dr. Rao’s journey from conventional to functional medicine 05:12 — What “root cause” care actually means 07:45 — The inflammation–fatigue connection after alcohol 10:03 — Balancing blood sugar without overcomplicating meals 12:26 — Mitochondria and how to get your energy back 14:58 — Light, timing, and your circadian rhythm 17:40 — How to set yourself up for better sleep 20:22 — The gut–brain link and how it impacts cravings 23:05 — Staying hydrated without overdoing water 25:41 — Navigating perimenopause symptoms with lifestyle tweaks 28:09 — How stress affects your body (and how to calm it) 30:52 — When acupuncture can help 33:17 — Why strength training is a game changer in midlife 36:01 — Functional lab tests: worth it or not? 38:34 — What “liver detox” really means 41:10 — A real-life patient success story 44:02 — Habit stacking to make changes stick 47:19 — Building your own healthcare dream team 50:11 — Using wellness habits to help prevent relapse 53:28 — Quick recap: small steps, big wins Dr. Rao Links https://www.sarahkleinerwellness.com/all-free-resources https://mycircadianapp.com/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Get Angry The Healthy Way With Michelle Farris
If you’ve ever swallowed your anger to keep the peace, lost yourself in someone else’s needs, or swapped drinking for late-night snack binges, this episode is for you. On this week’s Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Michelle Farris—psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management specialist—to talk about the deeper emotional work that comes with recovery. Michelle is known for her relatable approach and tools that help people stop people-pleasing, speak up for themselves, and finally build relationships that feel safe and real. What happens when we suppress anger in sobriety? How do we even recognize it if we were never taught what healthy anger looks like? Can we be codependent on someone who isn’t codependent on us? In this episode, Sonia and Michelle unpack what anger can teach us about ourselves, how codependency often hides behind “being nice,” and why food addiction recovery is often the next frontier in sobriety. Michelle shares practical strategies for identifying emotional triggers, creating healthy boundaries, and noticing the early signs of resentment before it explodes. You'll learn how to reframe your inner dialogue and develop self-talk that actually helps regulate intense emotions. Michelle also opens up about her own story—getting sober from food addiction at 20, what it was like dating someone in active addiction while working her own program, and the unexpected friendship breakup that made her realize she was still making other people her higher power, and how the desire to be loved can sometimes override our own sense of safety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Timestamps) 00:00 – Meet Michelle Farris, psychotherapist and codependency expert 01:45 – Why she started teaching anger management (and how it cracked her open) 03:15 – What healthy anger actually looks like—and why it’s not yelling 04:40 – Stuffing your feelings vs. naming your hurt 06:00 – Why journaling is the safest place to let your rage out 07:30 – “Anger is rocket fuel”—how to recognize the heat before it explodes 08:45 – The connection between negative self-talk and emotional regulation 10:00 – What resentment really is (and why it’s sneaky) 11:20 – How suppressing anger can sabotage recovery 12:30 – Can you be angry and make amends? What recovery programs miss 14:15 – When anger turns inward—it often looks like guilt or shame 15:00 – Using mindfulness to stay present with your emotions 16:40 – Michelle’s story of getting sober through OA at age 20 18:00 – How food was her comfort and first addiction 19:30 – The sugar trap: what often happens in early sobriety 21:00 – Physical hunger vs. emotional hunger—how to tell the difference 22:15 – Why surrender, not control, is the key to food addiction recovery 23:30 – Trigger foods, writing a food history, and the power of structure 25:00 – Is it okay to wait before addressing food issues in recovery? 26:45 – Codependency 101: what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s a cycle 28:00 – Can you be codependent with a friend? (Michelle’s raw story says yes) 29:30 – Boundaries that work: why “I” statements are your best friend 31:00 – The people-pleasing trap: when kindness costs you your peace 32:15 – Flexible or codependent? The litmus test 34:00 – How to stop saying “yes” when your gut says “no” 35:30 – Michelle’s favorite recovery tools for emotional resilience 36:45 – The power of in-person meetings, especially post-COVID 38:00 – One last reminder: you’re allowed to take up space, feel your anger, and still be sober. Michelle Farris Links 🌐 Website: counselingrecovery.com 📺 YouTube: @MichelleFarrismft 📸 Instagram: @counseling_recovery SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ADHD in Women With Christina Crowe
Ever feel like you're running on fumes, forgetting everything, and wondering if everyone else got the life manual you missed? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Christina Crowe, a Registered Psychotherapist and founder of Dig a Little Deeper, to unpack how ADHD—especially when undiagnosed—can shape our mental health, relationships, and recovery. Christina brings her clinical expertise and lived experience with ADHD to this conversation. Together, they explore questions like: Could undiagnosed ADHD be fueling your anxiety or substance use? Why is it so commonly missed in women? They also talk about how impulsivity, self-medicating, and the pressure to hold it all together affect women differently—and how to spot the signs that something deeper might be going on. You’ll walk away with a better understanding of how ADHD can show up in everyday life, why it often gets mistaken for depression or anxiety, and what tools actually work. Christina gets personal, talking about her own late-in-life diagnosis, how her son’s journey opened the door to her own, and what it’s like to finally have words (and support) for what never quite made sense before. This is Sisters in Sobriety—the support system helping women change their relationship with alcohol and rediscover themselves in the process. For more resources, journal prompts, and mocktail magic, check out our Substack. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Christina’s career pivot: from biotech to therapy [00:03:30] How her son’s ADHD diagnosis helped her see her own [00:05:10] The “invisible” nature of ADHD symptoms [00:06:45] Why so many people with ADHD turn to substances like cocaine, cannabis, or food [00:08:30] What makes ADHD-related substance use different [00:09:50] Why it’s not that hard to diagnose ADHD—if you know what you’re looking for [00:11:30] How substance use can mask ADHD (and delay treatment) [00:12:50] Christina breaks down the fear of taking stimulants in recovery [00:14:15] The difference between addiction and dependence (and why it matters) [00:16:00] The potato chip aisle: a metaphor for cravings and impulse control [00:17:45] Real talk about impulsivity and Amazon carts [00:20:30] Why women often get missed—or misdiagnosed—for years [00:23:00] SSRIs, dopamine, and feeling “stuck” [00:25:15] Hormones and ADHD: how estrogen impacts symptoms [00:27:10] Tips for navigating the health system when you have executive dysfunction [00:30:30] How to talk to your doctor about ADHD (and what might be getting lost in translation) [00:32:15] The three-legged stool: meds, therapy, and executive function support [00:34:25] How to find a therapist who truly gets it [00:36:00] The post-diagnosis “reckoning” (aka rethinking your entire life) [00:38:00] Mindfulness for ADHD brains—yes, it can actually work (with the right approach) Christina's Links 💡 Christina Crowe – Dig A Little Deeper, Psychotherapy & Counselling SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sexual Wellness in Sobriety With Carlyle Jansen
This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen delve into the intersection of intimacy, sexuality, and recovery. They’re joined by the incredible Carlyle Jansen—a sex educator, registered psychotherapist, and founder of Good For Her, Toronto’s groundbreaking sexuality shop and workshop space. Carlyle is also the author of Sex Yourself and Anal Sex Basics, and she brings over two decades of experience helping individuals and couples reclaim pleasure, navigate intimacy, and communicate more effectively. Today, she helps us better understand how our sexual selves evolve in recovery, and how we can reconnect with our bodies and desires—without shame. Together, we'll explore questions many of us have: What happens to libido after quitting substances? How do we navigate physical connection when sober sex feels so unfamiliar? What do terms like “responsive desire” actually mean, and why do they matter in recovery? This conversation helps deconstruct cultural shame, normalize sexual differences, and guide the path back to pleasurable living. Carlyle offers practical techniques like mindfulness, post-intimacy debriefs, and body exploration exercises. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Meet Carlisle Jansen: therapist, author, and founder of Good For Her [00:03:00] Carlisle shares her first experiences with sex, shame, and trying to orgasm [00:04:30] How a bridal shower kickstarted her career in sex education [00:06:30] Why she opened a retail shop alongside her workshops [00:08:00] The impact of growing up in a sex-silent household [00:10:00] How family history and shame shaped her relationship with sexuality [00:12:00] From workshops to therapy: how her work evolved [00:15:00] The most common issue in her practice: mismatched libidos [00:16:30] What changes sexually during addiction recovery [00:18:00] What is sexual anorexia? And how is it different from sexual numbness? [00:20:00] Trauma’s impact on sexual function and emotional availability [00:21:30] Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the parts that show up during sex [00:23:00] Why partners need to “start over” after sobriety [00:25:30] How to rebuild trust and emotional safety during physical intimacy [00:27:30] Navigating unpleasant emotions and sexual discomfort [00:29:30] How to rethink consent and boundaries post-recovery [00:31:30] Why kissing should not be a gateway to sex—and how to communicate about it [00:34:00] Debriefing after intimacy: how to reflect and stay connected [00:36:00] How to approach sober dating with clarity and boundaries [00:40:00] The role of masturbation in recovery and reconnection [00:44:00] Sex addiction, love addiction, and how to tell if it’s compulsive or just shame [00:47:00] Why we seek validation through relationships—and how to unlearn it [00:49:00] Tips to maintain long-term sexual connection with a partner [00:52:00] Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and how to honor your sexual blueprint [00:55:00] Pressure kills arousal: why expectation ruins the moment [01:01:00] Expanding what sex means: intimacy without intercourse [01:03:00] Closing thoughts and how to keep showing up for your evolving self Carlyle's Links Links: carlylejansen.com TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/12d2o8e9cSU?si=3DcVS-4uiexd4cdC SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

’The Stress Paradox’ With Dr. Sharon Bergquist
What if the key to resilience isn’t eliminating stress—but embracing the right kind of it? This week on Sisters in Sobriety, we take on the fascinating world of cellular health, good stress, and regenerative wellness with Dr. Sharon Bergquist—a Harvard-trained physician, Yale biophysics grad, and pioneering force behind Emory’s Lifestyle Medicine and Wellness program. Dr. Bergquist is the author of the upcoming book The Stress Paradox, which challenges everything you thought you knew about aging, health, and how to build a body that thrives. In this conversation, we'll explore essential questions: What makes some stress beneficial—and how can we harness it without burning out? Why does modern comfort leave us more fragile, and how does plant-powered eating reshape the trajectory of chronic disease? They also explore what lifestyle medicine actually is, and how behavior change works from the inside out—at the cellular level. You'll come away with actionable insight into how to reframe stress, build long-term resilience, and slow aging with everyday tools like circadian fasting, thermal therapy, interval training, and plant-based nutrition. Dr. Bergquist explains the science behind dopamine recovery in sobriety, the myth of needing to do it all at once, and why stacking "good stress" needs to be a gentle. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:01 – Why Dr. Bergquist fell in love with the human body 03:20 – How seeing long-term patient outcomes changed her approach 05:15 – Why standard medical care misses the root cause of disease 07:10 – The five “good stressors” that help your cells regenerate 09:50 – The difference between toxic stress and beneficial stress 12:30 – Why numbing stress with alcohol creates a dopamine deficit 14:40 – How good stress like cold exposure gives you dopamine without burnout 17:20 – Over-optimizing for comfort—and how that backfires 19:00 – Pick your discomfort: cold, heat, exercise, or emotional growth 21:15 – What stress actually does to your brain and cells 24:45 – What we’ve lost in the modern world (hint: it’s not just screen time) 26:30 – Why we must reintroduce discomfort strategically 28:00 – The link between resilience and meaning 30:30 – Can you stack stress? Not in early sobriety 33:20 – Why sobriety itself is already a stressor—and that’s OK 35:10 – When and how to add other good habits without overwhelming yourself 37:50 – The science behind a plant-powered diet 40:15 – Why it's not “plants vs meat”—and the real stats on fiber and phytochemicals 43:00 – How to start eating plant-forward without going broke or gourmet 45:10 – The secret sauce (literally) that makes veggies taste good 48:05 – Debunking the protein panic: what research really says 52:00 – Why labels like “vegan” or “carnivore” miss the point 54:30 – The real takeaway: 1 in 10 Americans get enough fruits and veggies 56:00 – What Dr. Bergquist is building at Emory—and her vision for health systems 59:00 – Making lifestyle medicine mainstream and accessible Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 Ep 1My Sober Dating Diary Pt2 - Bath Bombs To Boundaries
We're diving into part two of my sober dating diary—a real-life story that involves a cute date, an unexpected trip to a cannabis shop, and a bath bomb that turned into a major wake-up call. Dating after divorce is awkward enough. But when you're sober and your date casually suggests a relaxing soak in a "CBD" bath—you learn pretty quickly who respects your boundaries and who treats your sobriety like a buzzkill. I also share: The truth about "California sober" and why it doesn't work for me How people-pleasing and old patterns can sneak back in, even after years of sobriety Why I walked away and what it taught me about owning my sobriety, unapologetically This story is for anyone who's ever compromised a little too much to seem “chill,” or needed a reminder that you're allowed to have boundaries—and you're allowed to walk away when someone crosses them. ✨ Your sobriety isn’t just “okay”—it’s powerful, it’s valid, and it deserves to be honored. 🔔 Like, comment, and subscribe for more stories from the sober dating trenches, plus tips, real talk, and radical honesty every week. 📬 Want more? Head to sistersinsobriety.substack.com for behind-the-scenes content, journal prompts, and community support. Highlights [00:00] First dates after divorce—applying mascara for the first time in years and meeting someone who doesn’t drink [01:10] When a park stroll turns into a casual detour to a cannabis shop (um, red flag?) [01:55] What “California sober” really means—and why it’s not part of my recovery [02:50] The power of “playing the tape forward” and how it helps me avoid old traps [04:00] He says it’s just a CBD bath bomb. I ask (repeatedly) if it has THC. He says no. [05:10] Ten minutes into the tub and I’m feeling like a human gummy bear [06:00] The bold print truth: Delta-8 THC. And a sinking feeling—literally. [06:45] Why I ignored my instincts to be the “cool girl”—and what it cost me [07:45] The moment I knew I’d never see him again (and why that mattered) [08:20] Sober dating isn’t just about tolerance—it’s about respect, celebration, and self-trust Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love - WE TURN THE TABLES
This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen turn the tables on their popular mini-series about sober dating, sex, and relationships. After hearing from past guests on what dating without alcohol looks like, the sisters are sitting down to answer the same ten questions themselves. From green flags and red flags to playlist picks and sober date ideas, they’re bringing personal reflections, and honest takes. How do you navigate dating someone who drinks when you don’t? What’s the go-to answer when someone asks why you’re not drinking? And how do you build connection without the lubrication of alcohol? Sonia and Kathleen unpack the real-life challenges and unexpected joys of dating while sober. Find out why communication and emotional regulation are the new sexy, how to set boundaries around alcohol in relationships, and how to create connection without compromising sobriety. The episode also explores cultural norms around drinking, coping strategies for first sober dates, and what "choosing each other" really means in long-term partnerships. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:10] Sonia’s power washer as a symbol of freedom post-divorce [00:02:30] Setting the scene for the mini-series wrap-up: 10 questions revisited [00:04:00] Kathleen's first sober date: a nuanced look at alcohol vs. drug sobriety [00:05:45] Dating someone who drinks—how Kathleen navigated early discomfort [00:07:15] Caitlin’s story: being 90 days sober and her date ordering her favorite drink [00:08:45] NA beer and whether it fits into Sonia’s sober lifestyle [00:09:30] Food and body issues on early dates—what Ally Shapiro shared [00:10:25] What do you say when someone asks why you don’t drink? [00:11:15] The challenge of drinking cultures within a partner’s family [00:12:45] Green flags: emotional regulation, curiosity, and thoughtful check-ins [00:15:00] Red flags: love addiction, criticism, and white lies [00:17:50] Favorite sober date ideas: hiking, kayaking, concerts, and coffee [00:19:30] Advice for your first sober date: have a plan, tell someone, and stay present [00:21:00] How much drinking is too much in a partner? Setting comfort levels [00:22:15] Alcohol in the house—yes, no, or it depends? [00:23:15] Who do you call after a fight or a great first date? (Hint: it’s not always your sister) [00:24:30] The breakup playlist that kept them going—hello, Florence + the Machine [00:26:15] From "dicked down in Dallas" to Taylor Swift: the love life soundtrack [00:28:00] “I used to think love was a fairytale, now I know it’s a choice.” [00:30:15] Romantic love is conditional—and why that’s actually a good thing Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Sisters Heal Together With Karin and Patti Clark
In this episode, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by sisters Patti and Karin Clark for a conversation about breaking the cycle of intergenerational addiction and reclaiming personal identity. Patti is an award-winning author whose books blend emotional sobriety and self-reflection, and Karin is a counselor and educator with decades of experience in trauma and addiction recovery. Together, the sisters reflect on how their upbringing shaped them—and how recovery allowed them to rewrite their own stories. We talk about the roles we unconsciously play in dysfunctional families—hero, rebel, mascot—and how these survival strategies can carry into adulthood, often laying the groundwork for addiction, codependency, and emotional suppression. And we tackle some big questions: How do family dynamics influence substance use? Can breaking generational trauma actually stop the cycle? What happens to sisterhood when sobriety enters the room? Patti and Karin share personal stories of relapse and reconciliation, how their relationship as sisters evolved through recovery, and the beautiful ways their sobriety has rippled through their families. You'll hear about the grief and rage they had to walk through in order to reach forgiveness—not just for others, but for themselves. Their shared journey highlights what happens when we name the truth, do the work, and choose connection over silence. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Timestamps) [00:02:00] Patti shares a tribute to Karin’s steady presence after their mother’s death [00:03:45] Karin explains family roles and the origin of the “hero” label [00:05:00] Patti opens up about being the mascot and diffusing family tension with humor [00:07:45] A painful memory of being compared at the dinner table [00:08:30] Food as a first addiction and internalized shame [00:10:15] Karin outlines the family role model (hero, scapegoat, lost child, mascot) [00:11:00] Both sisters share how their roles shifted over time [00:13:30] Roundtable discussion: Which family role is most prone to addiction? [00:15:00] The hidden addiction behaviors that often go overlooked [00:17:30] Patti and Karin reflect on their first experiences with substances [00:20:00] Karin recalls when drinking shifted from fun to fear [00:22:00] Patti describes the subtle but powerful interventions that helped her quit [00:26:00] Tracing addiction and denial through both sides of the family tree [00:29:00] The myth of the “poor Patty and Karen” narrative within the family [00:30:15] How their sisterhood changed through recovery and ACOA work [00:33:30] Relapsing, boundaries, codependency, and coming back together [00:36:30] Karin and Patti explain the emotional dynamics of their old arguments [00:39:00] The cultural addiction of capitalism and constant productivity [00:41:30] When relapse happens: fear, enabling, and permission [00:44:00] “Safe drinking” lies we tell ourselves in the gray area [00:46:00] Did we break the cycle? Parenting, legacy, and sober modeling [00:49:00] Creating a new lineage of openness, healing, and choice [00:51:30] What does forgiveness really look like in recovery? [00:53:00] Patti explains the danger of skipping grief and going straight to forgiveness [00:54:30] Karin shares how compassion helped her process resentment [00:56:00] Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation [00:57:30] Closing reflections on sisterhood, healing, and sharing the tools Connect with Patti Clark Website: www.patticlark.org Substack: https://patticlarkwriter.substack.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfahpJhfHNNHUqtIjR39OdQ Connect with Karin Clark Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KarinClarkCommunications Website: www.karineclark.com Email: [email protected] SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Trust Your Intuition With Julie Reisler
What if the wisdom you’re searching for has been with you all along? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by master transformational coach Julie Reisler to explore the quiet, powerful force of intuition—and how it can guide your recovery, self-trust, and authentic living. Julie is a TEDx speaker, host of the You-est You® Podcast, and founder of the Life Designer® Coach Academy. Julie helps people around the world reconnect with their higher self. What does it really means to become the You-est You? Why do so many of us feel disconnected from our intuition—and how do we begin to rebuild that trust, especially after life changes like divorce, addiction recovery, or hitting emotional rock bottom? Julie walks listeners through the difference between fear and intuitive guidance, how we can all access our unique “intuition language,” and the power of two-way prayer, evidence tracking, and journaling as tools for emotional healing. With practical tools and real-life examples, this conversation unpacks how to integrate mind-body-spirit wisdom, how intuition supports recovery from addictive patterns (like emotional eating), and how to make decisions that align with your true self—especially when logic tells you otherwise. Julie opens up about her own story—from childhood sensitivity and food addiction to spiritual awakening and leaving a stable corporate job to follow her inner voice. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tools, and resources to support your growth. Time-Stamped Highlights 00:01 – Meet Julie Reisler and learn about the You-est You® philosophy 00:02 – Julie’s childhood: sensitivity, imagination, and early intuition 00:04 – Growing up with a father in addiction and how that shaped her energy awareness 00:05 – The early signs of self-loathing and disconnect from intuition 00:06 – Her recovery journey begins with sugar and food addiction 00:08 – How food became a way to soothe emotions and hide shame 00:10 – The pivotal moment that changed everything (and the bag of M&Ms) 00:12 – Julie’s exposure to 12-step programs as a child 00:14 – How Overeaters Anonymous and spiritual reading reshaped her path 00:16 – Returning to school and integrating science and spirituality 00:18 – Leaving corporate life and entering Panera Bread: a surprising intuitive detour 00:21 – Following the nudges: voiceover classes and synchronicity 00:23 – The cost of disconnecting from your voice in marriage and dating 00:27 – Defining intuition: is it a voice, a knowing, or a feeling? 00:30 – How to tell the difference between fear, anxiety, and real intuition 00:33 – Building self-trust through two-way prayer and intuitive journaling 00:36 – Evidence tracking: gathering proof that your intuition has been guiding you 00:39 – When intuition contradicts logic (and why that’s OK) 00:41 – Asking for signs and using muscle testing to check your inner YES 00:44 – A real-time example of intuition: how Julie ended up at a film festival 00:45 – What to do when your intuitive knowing disrupts your plans 00:46 – Julie’s heartfelt advice for women in transition 00:47 – The megaphone to your heart—why everything you’re looking for is already within Links: Website: juliereisler.com Instagram: @juliereisler More from Sisters in Sobriety: 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Ditch Dating Drama with Carleigh Ferrante
This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are diving deep into the wild world of dating—minus the drinks. They're joined by Carleigh Ferrante, host of the Mostly Dating podcast. Carleigh talks about what it really means to date with intention, honesty, and clarity—especially when you're sober. From starting over after a long-term relationship to swiping through the chaos of dating apps, they're talking about it. Together, they explore how to spot emotional availability, navigate red flags, and decode whether your new connection is fueled by real chemistry. They ask big questions like: Can attraction grow? How can you tell if someone’s emotionally mature or just really charming? How long should you “get to know” someone before deciding to be exclusive? And what does flirting even look like when you’re sober? You'll walk away with tangible, empowering insights like how to start meaningful conversations on dating apps, how to plan sober-friendly first dates, and how to protect your peace when things don’t go as planned. Carleigh shares practical tips for setting physical and emotional boundaries, flirting without alcohol, and recognizing when someone just isn’t your person—even if nothing seems “wrong.” You'll also learn how to gauge emotional maturity versus availability and the importance of aligned values in long-term compatibility. On a personal note, Sonia and Kathleen open up about their own dating experiences and reflect on what it felt like to date sober for the first time, and how vulnerability, awkwardness, and self-awareness reshaped their views on intimacy and connection. Carleigh adds her own behind-the-scenes stories from dating app disasters to moments of surprising self-growth. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Time-stamped Highlights [00:01:00] Carleigh Ferrante joins the show to talk all things dating [00:02:00] Sonia and Kathleen share their contrasting Bumble experiences [00:04:00] Carleigh’s go-to formula for dating app openers that actually work [00:05:00] First date ideas for sober daters that don’t involve bars [00:06:30] Where to meet people in the wild (yes, even at the Garden Center) [00:08:00] Why small talk with strangers helps your dating life [00:10:00] Sonia’s AA house call—and why she prefers women’s recovery groups [00:11:00] What to ask early on to gauge someone’s dating mindset [00:13:00] How to talk about your ex without trauma-dumping [00:16:00] Should you discuss your values on a first date? Here’s how [00:18:00] Can attraction grow—or does it have to be instant? [00:21:00] Why ‘secure’ might feel boring if you’re used to chaos [00:23:30] Emotional availability: what it looks like and how to spot it [00:25:00] The difference between emotional maturity and availability [00:27:30] Sonia’s boyfriend used to sing through hard conversations—literally [00:29:00] How to talk about the future without scaring someone off [00:31:00] Why the “getting to know you” phase should never really end [00:33:00] Dating rules vs. personal boundaries—what really matters [00:36:30] Love bombing vs. real connection: how to tell the difference [00:39:00] How dating changes when you're sober—and why that's a good thing [00:41:00] Sober dating and physical boundaries: what becomes clearer [00:43:00] Flirting without alcohol: presence, confidence, and compliments [00:47:00] How Kathleen dated for fun—and why that mindset worked [00:48:00] How to protect your peace when someone ghosts you [00:50:00] Your person won’t leave you on read—trust that [00:51:00] Signs it’s not right, even if it’s not “wrong” [00:53:00] Carleigh’s new course and how to find her content Links Carleigh's Instagram 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Food Junkies in Recovery: The Truth About Sugar Addiction with Dr. Vera Tarman
Is it really just emotional eating—or could it be addiction? In this week’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we speak with renowned expert Dr. Vera Tarman to unravel the science, psychology, and stigma surrounding sugar and flour addiction, and how we can truly recover. As the Medical Director of Renascent, one of Canada’s largest substance abuse treatment centres, Dr. Tarman brings a wealth of clinical insight—plus her own recovery from both alcohol and food addiction. She is the author of Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction and cohost of the Food Junkies Podcast. What’s the real connection between alcohol and sugar? Why do so many people transfer their addictions to food when they get sober? And what do terms like “intuitive eating,” “emotional eating,” and “abstinence” actually mean in the context of recovery? Dr. Tarman also breaks down the difference between emotional eating and food addiction, outlines what recovery from food addiction really requires, and offers practical insight into why abstinence—not just moderation—is the key for many. Expect to learn about the dopamine pathways, the food-addiction spectrum, the role of ultra-processed foods, and the concept of “food serenity.” Finally, Dr. Tarman shares her deeply personal story— her own early experiences with alcohol and marijuana, and how she navigated her own recovery from binge eating and bulimia while practicing as a doctor. Her journey is vulnerable, relatable, and a reminder that healing is possible—even when it’s not linear. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Time-stamped Highlights 00:00 – Welcome and guest intro: Dr. Vera Tarman, addiction medicine expert and author 01:55 – Her first addiction: sugar or alcohol? 03:30 – Growing up with an alcoholic mother 04:45 – Alcohol and academic life: why she quit in med school 05:50 – Binge eating, bulimia, and how food replaced alcohol 07:00 – “You should stop drinking”—saying it to patients, but not herself 09:00 – Her “aha” moment: reading the first studies on food addiction 10:20 – How food and alcohol affect the brain’s dopamine reward system 12:45 – Is sugar addiction common in people getting sober? 15:10 – Sugar and alcohol as “sisters”—and the medical consequences 17:00 – Liver disease and non-alcoholic fatty liver: the sugar connection 19:10 – Emotional eating vs. food addiction—what’s the difference? 22:30 – Why intuitive eating may not work for everyone 27:00 – Recovery and abstinence: what does it look like? 31:45 – Is it about added sugar or natural sugar? 34:10 – Can moderation work—or do some people need full abstinence? 36:30 – What counts as a relapse with food? 39:00 – Social pressure, stigma, and birthday cake 41:00 – Why sugar is so powerful (and hard to quit) 43:00 – Recovery essentials: more than just stopping 45:10 – Individualized food plans: what worked for Dr. Tarman 47:00 – OA and the growing food addiction recovery landscape 50:00 – Finding support: why community matters 51:20 – Building food serenity and daily recovery habits 53:00 – Her message of hope: it gets easier after 10 days 55:00 – “Day 4 of my reset”—Kathleen shares her moment Dr. Vera Tarman’s Links 🌐 Website: https://www.addictionsunplugged.com 📘 Facebook Group: I’m Sweet Enough: Sugar-Free for Life Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Read less Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Date Selfishly, Love Authentically: Matchmaking Wisdom from Daphney Poyser
Have you ever stared at your phone wondering where all the emotionally available adults are? In today’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we have Daphney Poyser, the founder and CEO of Fern Connections—a values-driven, LGBTQIA+ and ally-inclusive matchmaking and dating coaching company. Daphney’s mission is help people date with intention and build meaningful relationships rooted in authenticity. Today, she’s here to help us navigate dating—especially while sober—with more clarity and confidence. We dig into the real-life challenges of dating in recovery, touching on everything from emotional prep work to the myths we carry from childhood about what love should look like. What does compatibility really mean? Is it okay to have expectations? And what does it mean to “selfishly date”—and why is that a good thing? You'll s will walk away with tools for building more conscious relationships—whether you’re using a dating app, working with a matchmaker, or stepping out into the sober dating world for the first time. You’ll also hear Daphney’s personal story—how becoming a widow in 2019 led her to pivot out of corporate America and into founding Fern Connections, a service inspired in part by her queer daughter and family members. Daphney shares her own journey of finding love again later in life, learning to set boundaries, and building a business that centers care, consent, and clarity. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:02 – Meet Daphney Poyser, and how losing her husband led her to start a matchmaking company 00:04 – Why Fern Connections was created to serve the LGBTQIA+ and ally community 00:07 – Discussing sober dating and what it means to show up without numbing 00:09 – Why you shouldn’t have to dull yourself to go on a date 00:10 – The importance of emotional safety and matching clients with aligned values 00:12 – What to do when someone says they’re fine with sobriety—but turns out they’re not 00:14 – Why women should be “selfish daters” and not worry about being the “good guy” 00:16 – How to emotionally prepare for dating after long-term relationships 00:18 – Pre- and post-date journaling as a mindfulness tool 00:20 – The myth of “no expectations” and why love should be conditional 00:22 – Relationship contracts and writing down what really matters 00:24 – How childhood messages shape what we believe about marriage 00:27 – Helping clients unpack their unrealistic dating checklists 00:30 – The problem with assuming no one’s “good enough” 00:33 – Chemistry vs. compatibility—and why the spark might not mean what you think 00:35 – How unresolved trauma influences what feels familiar in dating 00:38 – Oversharing on first dates: why less is sometimes more 00:41 – Confidence rituals before dates and the power of listening 00:43 – What qualities Daphney looks for when matching clients 00:47 – Dating apps: their impact on mental health and connection 00:51 – Tips for transitioning from online to in-person dating 00:54 – Red flags to watch for, including love bombing and mirroring 00:57 – Why peaceful love may feel boring—and why it’s often the real deal Guest Links 🌐 Daphney’s Website: fernconnections.com 📸 Daphney’s Instagram: @fernconnections Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.