Shut up a Second

In which our heroes pull on their hiking boots, adjust their caps, and head to the mountains as we discuss trails. We lose our arms and legs but not our sense of determination, try to locate mountains, and do our best to define a trail. Zoe climbs diarrhoea mountain, Jackson wants to make a suck board, and Duscher just wants to talk about scroggin. So find the perfect hike, strap on some Rollerblade, and set yourself on fire. It's the only true way to experience nature.Want to make the suck board the go to mode of transportation? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can make that pure dream a reality. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes shake their glorious manes, clop their spectacular hooves, and do that thing where their lips pull back and their scary teeth are revealed as we discuss horses. We talk the fluffiness of Clydesdale, the stupidity of turkeys, and mass sheep suicide. Adam demands the internet prove him wrong, Cass puts little horses on a shelf, and Jackson just feels like aliens would be incredibly disappointed by earths animals. So whinny and bray and do all the good horse noises to the delight of passerby. Not one horse gets murdered this time. I think.Want to help Jackson impress the aliens? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can make more interesting animals Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes do up their ties, adjust their collars, and put in their cufflinks as we discuss suits. We explore our love for ladies in suits, acquire haunted hands, and fall in love with a Lothario on the beach. Jackson misses ruffles dearly, Zoe explains the concept of Frat Boy Formal, and Adam just tries to explain his love of a simple tuxedo. So get done up to the nines, choose how breasted you want your suit, and take to the streets. Doesn't matter how ugly you are, everyone looks good in a suit.Want to help Jackson bring back the Jacobean ruff? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start sewing immediately.And don’t forget to check out our new YouTube channel; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbN8u4XzYwXQ-hLn-wgo3Jw and sign up to lootcrate.com/letmedie and use the code letmedie to get some sweet sweet dollars off your next subscription! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes melt some metal, pour it into a mould, and then sharpen the heck out of it as we discuss knives. We try to convert knives into currency, try to figure out what's so sticky on Zoe’s chair (it was cordial), and discuss dick chopping. Zoe reveals she's way into making models, Adam reveals that he has a stamp collection because of course he does, and Jackson just needs the rest of the gang to explain nursery rhymes to him. So sharpen your rubber knife, attend the best of threes the festival, and try not to die from falling in a fireplace. And be wary of anyone giving you knives as gifts.Want to help Zoe remember the godfather? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can force her to watch the whole trilogy And don’t forget to check out our new YouTube channel; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbN8u4XzYwXQ-hLn-wgo3Jw and sign up to lootcrate.com/letmedie and use the code letmedie to get some sweet sweet dollars off your next subscription! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes clear their throats, open their mouths, and sing with the voice of a million angles as we discuss musicals. We basically write and perform the songs of Titanic the Musical, give praise to Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and try to figure out why everyone found the Lorax so sexy. Jackson covers himself in falcons, Zoe is a bad king, and Duscher just makes a three day trip on a horse to tell other kings to fuck off. So walk on stage, sing your heart out, and take a bow as the crowd throws you roses. Everything's a musical if you put your mind to it.Want to help Zoe build a glorious kingdom? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start preparations immediately.And don’t forget to check out our new YouTube channel; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbN8u4XzYwXQ-hLn-wgo3Jw or if you want to see the Movie Maintenance Crew Live; https://www.trybooking.com/NUSX. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get slighted, spend days plotting, and wreck a terrible revenge as we discuss, well, revenge. We unearth kookaburras from the ground, get mad at rude dogs, and take the fight to the moths. Jackson enters a duel against the duke, Zoe just woke up from a nap, and Adam just has possibly the worst time. So stew over a small inconvenience, spend hours planning and scheming, and exact revenge against those who have hurt you. Just like how Adam will eventually seek revenge against Zoe and Jackson.Want to help Jackson poison the Duke? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can get him a bucket of shrimp.In Melbourne and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/NIPH.And don’t forget to check out Dinosaur Park: The 1986 Tabletop RPG and Super Gym Friends on iTunes and Stitcher, as well as our brand new YouTube channel; Sanspants Cinema Scope. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes look to the skies, are amazed by wildlife and decide to revisit an old favourite while talking Birds III: Fancy Birds. Join the gang as they dive deep to play the classic "fancy or fuck off" game, explore a world where virgin blood grants you eternal youth and level themselves up by eating entire species. Jackson isn't afraid to suck on a hand teat, Zoe has a good time imagining a monocle on various things and Duscher just isn't impressed with your Emmy, Gabe. So sit down and listen to us realise that there was some birds left after all and almost all of them are fancy. We're done now though. Officially documented all birds. Good.Want to help the gang find the fanciest bird? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start buying binoculars today.In Melbourne and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/NIPH.Want a better mattress? Head to caspertrial.com/sanspants and enter promo code 50sleep and you can get $50 off the most comfortable bed you’ve ever slept on. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes pull up a stool, pour themselves a pint and chug while talking alcohol. The gang quickly discover the futility of trying to tell a good drinking story, attempt to make fancy drinks out of gross things and educate our overseas audience on the very specific references to Melbourne. Jackson explains the history of a dead moth we found in his room, Zoe calls out the boys for thinking about hamburgers and Duscher just keeps including feet in his alcohol consumption and production. It's a Patreon requested episode that at least one person has demanded we record and this is direct evidence that we did it. Heroes. Australians of the Year.Want to help the gang restock their liquor cabinet? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start buying gin off the top shelf today.In Melbourne and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/NIPH.Want a better mattress? Head to caspertrial.com/sanspants and enter promo code 50sleep and you can get $50 off the most comfortable bed you’ve ever slept on. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes tear open boxes, watch as the pieces fly all over the floor and never manage to find all the bits while discussing Lego. It's a fun filled time as the gang explore the reality of Action Man vs Max Steel, revisit the moment that toys stopped being enjoyable and the fragrance of ants. Jackson surprises everyone and himself with his deep Lego knowledge, Tessa is spooked by doll feet and Edgoose just wishes Lego had sets based on horrific historical events that no one likes remembering. No matter what trauma has occurred in your life, just know you can build a bridge and get over it. Build it with Lego. Brought it full circle. Good as.Want to help us build Lego men of the gang? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can contact the Lego head office.In Melbourne and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/NIPH.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes throw on jackets, pull their hoods tight and step out into a wintery abyss while talking snow. Join the team as they explore the grim reality of penguin slaves, name drop local snow places for Melbourne and keep referencing Sanspants members who aren't in this episode. Adam has an internal battle of grammar vs survival, Zoe wins the hypothetical question straight off the bat and Jackson just wants Let It Go to have more rhyming in its lyrics. So build an igloo to stay warm while we compile a list of ways for you to survive the long, cold winter. But don't blame us if you die, because apparently no one in this episode seems to know how snow works. Mm.Want to help the gang camp out in the snow? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start building a fort? That’s how you do it yeah?In Melbourne and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/NIPH. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes browse the aisles, examine fruit and visit the fresh produce as we discuss supermarkets. Join the boys as they examine the benefit of supermarkets for animals, Recover the long forgotten Super Kmart and try to figure out if a man can eat a couch pillow. Jackson doesn't understand the perishable nature of canned foods, Aaron is confident in his survival skills and Duscher just wished we knew about Hypermarkets earlier. It's an educational journey through the history of the supermarket with plenty of references to Australian only stores to delight earholes from abroad.Want to help the gang survive in a supermarket? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start take basic survival classes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes are made of ceramic, are designed to contain things, and are sometimes expensive as we discuss pots. We reminisce about pottery class, try to define a pot, and are blown away by the fact that owls are everywhere. Jackson doesn’t understand burns, Alli cant stand the smell of clay, and Aaron just wants everyone to watch the great British throw-down. So do your best to figure out what exactly is funny about a pot and then realise it is in fact everything. Want to help the gang learn how to use a pottery wheel? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start training.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes strap on their leathers, hop in their jeep and fight over water as we discuss Post-Apocalyptic Earth. We panic over the coming beast wars, boil the sea and eat fancy Italian cakes. Zoe has it in for pigeons, Jackson gets put down by funnelling ants into his ears and Duscher just wants to see the world burn. So change your name to something like Chummonger, carve out a life in the new waster earth and do your best to survive. Or just die we guess.Want to help the gang train pigeons to communicate? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start buying those birds.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes put on their scrubs, pull out their scalpel, and perform dangerous surgery as we discuss doctors (again). We discuss the need for brains, try to locate our stomachs, and mispronounce tourniquet. Edgoose is fairly sure he could perform surgery, Jackson sings as Edgoose dies, and Tessa just wants to frame a king for crimes. So wrack your brains, try to remember how to perform surgery, and then fail because you are not a doctor. And neither are we. Clearly.Want to help kill someone by taking all their blood? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start re-learning bloodletting.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes fall into a pool of radiation, have their bodies changed on a molecular level, and develop wondrous abilities as we discuss superpowers. We get stuck in an airtight room, discuss wisdom teeth, and and get hassled by Adam. Zoe just wants to be a better version of herself but ends up as ten teeth, Duscher gets bested by a fly, and Jackson just wishes he had a lamp made out of his ballsack. So develop superpowers, expect greatness, but instead deal with the terrible consequences. Theres no escaping that.Want to buy more pancake batter for Ryder to throw at Follow? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can go to the supermarket and start shopping.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes have four wheels, are painted red, and have a metal handle as we discuss wagons. We all do silly voices, talk premie babies, and read out a URL. Duscher steals the sun, Adam acts as a bridge between friends, Zoe explains a rickshaw as like a backpack for a baby but for an adult, and Jackson just wants to know why he can't pick himself up. So try to remember the difference between a cart and a wagon, figure out that maybe there isn't one, and just try and imagine the specific wagon were all talking about in this episode. No one knows what a wagon is.Want to help jackson finally finish his rickshaw? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help him build it.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes age rapidly, begin to mumble, and get put in a home as we discuss Old, Getting/People. We discuss basic madness, the confusing nature of a pulse beat, and try to get a handle on androids. Jackson sheds a tear for the last Barry, Zoe reminds everyone of Pasquale Mario, the third Mario Brother, and Adam just wishes Jackson was better at describing monkeys. So smack your gums, tell the pots and pans to be quiet, and take a bath in the rejuvenating pool from the film cocoon. If we remember that film correctly. Which I'm pretty sure we don't.Want to help make Pasquale Brother a real game? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start coding his orange hat.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes chuck on their uniforms, head to the crime scene, and start arresting everyone in sight as we discuss Crime III: Cops. We suggest a new branch for the military, figure out the police officers of the animal kingdom, and clear up the difference between a bread knife and a breadknife. Duscher explains Australia's controversial tunnel laws, Aaron details the code of Hammurabi, and Jackson just wants to air his grievances with Harambe. So hop in the squad car, turn on the sirens, and get ready to do the right thing: call it in.Want to help lower the hole arson rates? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can start putting cops underground. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes lose their owners, set out on a magical journey, and aren’t animated as they talk talking dog movies but not animated ones ones like homeward bound. We talk varying different dog breeds, sing a song from an Australian classic, and discuss the voice acting talents of Frankie Muniz. Jackson shares his views on animal farm, Duscher uses his special skill of knowing the release date for every movie, George worries for Stuart Little, and Zoe just wishes there were more specific cat calendars. So head homeward bound, try to forget Milo and Otis, and then remember that film Paulie about the talking parrot. Cats vs dogs was also in this genre.Want to help jackson catalog the animal stereotypes? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can buy him a scrapbook. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes roll the dice, pick a card, and place their bets as we discuss gambling. We talk losing body parts, the true blue game of two up, and the dangers of putting lottery winners name in the newspaper. Duscher wonders why it took too long for us to race horses, Jackson removes his head as a last resort, George has some choice things to say about Mark Wahlberg, and Zoe just wishes she knew how manes work. So cross your fingers, play one of the many variations of Russian roulette, and hope you don't end being the last person to shoot. Like most things, it's a gamble.Want to help pay off our gambling debt? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we won’t have to have our kneecaps broken.And don’t forget to check out George’s show this Saturday! Head to http://www.georgedima.com for all the details and to purchase tickets! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes have a question, can't find the answer, and so turn to Google for help as we discuss Google. We worry about people living in our cupboards, trash talk the far inferior search engines of Yahoo and Bing, and inevitably discuss Nan . Jackson Googles just about everything under the sun, Zoe reminisces about a barbie PlayStation 1 game, and Duscher just wishes everyone would play Slime Soccer. So jump online, politely ask Jeeves if he can choof off, and turn to the search engine everybody knows and loves, Google. Thanks Google, we love you.Want Google to change Google Shopping back to froogle? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can start writing up a petition.And don’t forget to head to http://google.com/usability/sanspants to sign up and take part in helping Google improve their not at all hostile takeover of the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hack the mainframe, surf the information superhighway, and search the ‘net as they discuss The Internet. We reminisce over internet sounds, turn the internet into a butler, and partake in arts and crafts. Jackson describes the first computer ever, Zoe describes the first, very depressing, email, and Duscher just wishes movies knew what hacking was. So plug in your internet cable, yell at mum to get off the phone, and listen to that sweet cacophony of noises that is the 56k internet dialling up. It's the most beautiful music there is. It’s almost like a lullaby.Want to help Siri understand Duscher better? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can get him some elocution lessons.And don’t forget to head to http://google.com/usability/sanspants to sign up and take part in helping Google improve their not at all hostile takeover of the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes find a running body of water, decide they need to get across to the other side, and try and nut out a solution to their problem as we discuss bridges. We talk about the historical use of canyons, Jackson's personal memoirs, and make Dads mad. Tessa creates an ornamental bridge of skulls, Edgoose creates a bridge of flesh, and Jackson is scared of youths and their penchant for digging. So build a bridge, thank god we can connect landmasses this way, and merrily drive across. Bridges are great. Want to help Tess keep her Skull bridge in a warehouse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can pay for general upkeep.And don’t forget to head to http://google.com/usability/sanspants to sign up and take part in helping Google improve their not at all hostile takeover of the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes steal horses, rob carriages, stand and deliver and talk about bush rangers. We enjoy Australian's excuse for battle armour, want to take selfies with dead crooks and laugh at dumb past scientists for think Australia was a different shape to what it actually is. Gabe fills us in on the history of the Kelly gang, Jackson wants to know when we decided we weren't cool with corpses and special guests Liam and David from DCM Works both just want to look down on all of us dirty Victorians. So sit back and hand over all your valuables as we quit this podcasting nonsense and take up bush ranging.Want to get robbed? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can pretend you didn't donate that we robbed you like the outlaws we are.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes cross their fingers, cross their toes and howl in agony when the sound of snapping bones reminds them that “crossing” isn’t really in toes’ wheelhouse as we discuss Digits. We reach a very quick consensus on extra thumbs, consider the drawbacks of nub justice and struggle with the concept of amphibious life. Edgoose dishes out some straight-up murder, Tessa repeatedly counts to eleven with potentially Satanic implications and Jackson just wants a concrete definition on pudding. So join the gang as they largely ignore toes to talk about fingers. Apologies if you wanted an hour on the joys of imperceptibly better balance and guidance when counting to numbers between 11 and 20. It’s done now and you don’t deserve better. Digits.Want to help us count to 10? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us with basic math.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ and grab some Sanspants Merch here http://teepublic.com/user/sanspantsradio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes erroneously prepare for a big turnout, cut mammoth slices that nobody would sensibly request and are forced to follow a satisfying meal with gigantic slabs of sugar as we discuss cake. We push our pathetic plastic dessert forks into region-specific cooking literature, consider practical applications for cake and propose substitutes for sugar and flour. Jackson breaks into houses, Alli delivers a message to Mark Ruffalo/Buffalo and Zammit just tries to ruin all of your favourite foods. So join the gang as they attempt to refuse seconds, but, hindered by food-induced lethargy, end up with more cake. Never again.Want to help us make the perfect cake? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us gain weight for the winter.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/, grab some Sanspants Merch here http://teepublic.com/user/sanspantsradio and vote for us in the Podcast Awards here http://www.podcastawards.com! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes are confronted with the unknown and the mysterious and do their best to solve the unsolved mysteries of the world. We pay too much for meat pies, get distracted by Jackson's fantastic dog and get stung by bees when we sleep in their hives. Zoe wants to turn the Hindenburg into a mystery, Adam gets mad when people don't understand bikes and Jackson just wants to keep you all posted about Dogwatch 2016. So sit back, put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and try to help us solve unsolved mysteries. Or at least cause some more.Want to help us understand the mysteries of fire? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can make a difference in our day to day lives.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/, grab some Sanspants Merch here http://teepublic.com/user/sanspantsradio and vote for us in the Podcast Awards here http://www.podcastawards.com! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes clean their aquarium, go down to the local fish n chip shop, buy too many dim sims and chat about all things fish. We discuss fish funerals, steal the superpowers we assume that sea creatures have and inevitably create a wet apocalypse using nothing but the ocean and moth dust. Jackson idealises a whole new way of fishing, Leo shares a cautionary tale about shrimp and Duscher just ate stupid pills for breakfast. So join the gang as they cast a line, relax and stare into the empty void that is the ocean as it stares back and maybe, just maybe, fall in love.Want to help Pope Fish rebuild the Church of Fish? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help convert those dirty fish heathens.Head to TeePublic to grab some sweet Sanspants Tees for only $14! And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes shuffle the deck, criticize each-other’s deck-shuffling techniques and angrily reshuffle the deck as we discuss playing cards. We find ourselves underwhelmed by the nominally supernatural world of tarot, demand a greater level of sophistication from our magicians and express our disgust at anyone daring to assail us with mathematics. Jackson takes the opportunity to make his feelings known about kangaroos, Alli defends her knowledge of Alice in Wonderland and Zammit just wants the king to be sickeningly greasy. So join the gang as we offhandedly mention suit ranks and imply the existence of a game called 500 somewhere within a conversation about animals, nobility and bogus illusions. Playing cards. Want to help us make our own deck? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us in this game of poker.Come see D&D is for Nerds Live Dungeon Crawl on the 28th of May, you can book tickets here: https://www.trybooking.com/LKBEAnd don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes select their murder methods, leave their calling cards and attempt to evade an ever-growing investigation as we discuss serial killers. We propose applications for disembodied arms, exploit the shortcomings of island law and examine the in-and-outs of running a successful murder hotel. Joel defends Charles Manson, Jackson fights the urge to needlessly declare his guilt, Zoe tries to describe an irregular bucket and Zammit just wants his cats to wait for the police. So join the gang as they publicly dissect their darkest instincts, causing irreparable damage to their social and legal standing, while acquainting themselves with serial killers.Want to help us cover up these murders? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us avoid the chair.Come see D&D is for Nerds Live Dungeon Crawl on the 28th of May, you can book tickets here: https://www.trybooking.com/LKBEAnd don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes look up the meanings of our name, change them all to better ones and immediately regret it as we discuss Alberts. We find weird fatty lumps on our bodies, discover how being an Albert would change our lives and turn Albert into an 80s cartoon style acronym. Jackson takes up wind-surfing to spite a village, TDB is forced to watch movies and Zammit just wants to find more animals designed to be eaten. So join the gang as they learn how to spell names. It’s a time. A time with someone called Albert.Want to help Jackson change his name Albert? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in his new identity.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes make a mess in the ocean, try to clean it all up and wonder how water gets so clean while discussing sponges. We have a guess about how many people tried to build the Ark before Noah, try to sell effective crime scene cleaning sponges on late night TV and hold the world ransom as we suck up the sea. Jackson furthers scientific knowledge by discovering a kraken, Alli makes a bet about flies and Zammit just wants to sponge up a giraffe. So join the gang as they marvel over what can only be described as the best argument for the existence of god; the humble sponge.Want to help Jackson establish a cult? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the public’s acceptance that cousins is okay.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes move out to the woods to escape the hustle and bustle of a modern big city, overcome a mid-life career crisis and wonder what to do with all these logs as we discuss cabins. We make our own three bedroom cabins, dissect the motives of Robin Hood and attempt to do our best Brian Blessed inspired Tarzan calls. Jackson tries to understand old timey toys, Zammit learns to pronounce heirloom and Alli just wants endless fireplaces. So join the gang as they vaguely touch on the concept of cabins. It’s almost as nice as sitting by a wood log fire with a hot chocolate and a good book. Want to help with our bathroom renovations? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Jackon’s dream cabin in the woods! Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes take out their pencil sharpener, sharpen the lead to a perfect point to only have it instantly break as they discuss pencils. We discover the corruption of kid’s birthday party games, break pencils all day long and bask in the nostalgic smell of pencil shavings. Jackson never got his pen license and is therefore a criminal, Alli loves the four-colour pencil and Tessa just wants kids to be impressed by her colouring skills. So join the gang as they bust out the Derwents, get drawing and try to colour inside the lines. If you lend us a pencil don’t expect it back.Want to help keeping those sectional pencils together? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the longevity of kids stationary.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes avoid the dentist, go hunting for an everlasting gobstopper and eat their body weight in sugar as they discuss candy. We become the star attraction on the circus circuit, send letters to candy suppliers for nefarious reasons and discuss the Cronenberg-esque body horror of slowly turning into candy over a week. Jackson gets annoyed at giant lollypops, Alli finds out what gummy tummy is and Duscher just wants to subtlety put his headphones back on. So join the gang as they get tooth decay and ruin a lot of different kinds of candy for you.Want to help supply Alli with a lifetime supply of fairy floss? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her acquiring diabetes.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes put on their lycra, pump up their tyres, find their safest helmet and start peddling as they talk all things bicycles. We take a look at the four set phrases bosses say, wonder if death threats make something cool and then just spaghet about it as we hop into our saucy side car! Jackson defines a bike poorly straight off the bat, George has fond memories of Shallow Hal and Duscher just wants to learn how to pronounce statistician correctly. It all goes downhill quick and then never really recovers, which is good because uphill is hard. Want to help us develop the first ever bossicycle? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us reach the next step in employee/employer relationships.To see more of George and to book tickets to his one man show head to http://www.georgedima.com. George & Co. (the solo tour) is running from now til Sunday the 3rd of April downstairs at the Grand Mercure, so come on down and we might see you there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes climb the stage, regress ten years, and head to class as they discuss high school. We look at the unjust nature of some teachers, try to fix education, and wonder what kind of hellschool would ban best friends. Zammit channels his inner bully, Jackson wants to help kids fight swans, Zoe struggles with her taxes, and Duscher just wants to teach teens how not to be dickheads. So throw on your backpack, crack open your locker, and try not to get beat up. It's the least important part of existence.Want to help us do a live show in your hometown? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help in our quest to see your handsome faces. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes put on a pair of gumboots, douse ourselves with insect repellent and wade out into the depths as we discuss swamps. We attempt to work out the difference between a swamp, a mangrove, a wetland and a marsh, feed carrots to human teeth wielding fish and talk about Man-Thing. Jackson has to exasperatedly explain what mud men are, Alli isn’t afraid of the ocean and Tessa just wants people to know Spongebob Squarepants is riddled with inaccuracies. So join the gang as they delve deep into the swamp lands down by the bayou. It’s kinda goopy, a little gross and full of nothing that great.Want to help Man-Thing in his advocacy for education of swamps? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in raising awareness of swamps all around the world. And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes don’t turn up to recording, take a week off and decide to do a clip show instead, so it’s the best bits of Shut up a Second Season 1! Alli shifts through the archive to find the best moments, we remember Duscher’s dad’s tussle with a furby, revisit our bestiary creations and touch upon the many crimes of Caligula. Jackson’s strong and clearly foreign accent has yet to be gentrified, Zoe’s vocal chords haven’t been ruined by years of cigarettes and Duscher just hasn’t changed. So take a stroll down memory lane, relive some of our finest moments and remember why you fell in love with us in the first place.Want to help us make another clip show? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Alli gearing up for the best of Season 2!Help support Comedy Cures charity by going over to https://groupees.com/rofl and purchasing some fine comedy bundles! We’ve got D&D is for Nerds Season 1 completely ad free and there’s a bunch of other goodies to get.And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes go out for a night on the town and can’t decide between high-heels, sneakers and our much beloved crocs as they discuss shoes. We work out why shoes don’t make sounds, reinvent rollerblades and discover pocket socks. Jackson thinks socks aren’t that clever of an idea, Duscher wants all shoes to be platform shoes and Sonia just looks like an idiot for her high school years. So join the gang as they learn to tie their shoelaces. It’s a lot harder than it looks and involves many overcomplicated and unnecessary knots. Want to help reinvent the shoe? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in something that is probably good enough as is. Want to some books to explain the birds and the bees? Head to http://sexedrescue.com/2016/giveaways/book_giveaway/ and enter for your chance to win! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes connect tenuous dots, make some barely convincing arguments and are unmoved in our beliefs as we discuss conspiracy theories… again. We elect a cactus, punch children for doubting the moon landing and are astounded by how many people go missing in National Parks. Jackson wants to know what they are doing about Africa, Marley won’t get anywhere when you count down at her and Duscher just wants dead people to stay dead. So join the gang as they become cult like in their beliefs and attempt to take down the lizard people secretly piloting the moon. It’s the only conspiracy show the illuminati isn't trying to shut down.Want to help prove that farmers are really all a giant con? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the true origin of bread. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes gain extra limbs, use their suction cups to get stuck to the ceiling and release the kraken as they discuss octopuses, octopi and/or octopodes. We find the sweet release of death blue-ringed octopuses provide, discover the best use for an octopus and teach a gorilla and a parrot to have a conversation. Jackson gauges octopus donut brainpower, Jarrod hates the word “seldom” and Tessa just wants to tell a story about an octopus becoming a life guard and the life lessons it learns along the way. So join the gang as they ink all over themselves, cause a scene and quickly scamper away to create further cephalopod mischief.Want to help sea creatures open jars? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in underwater storage. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Octopus Garden today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get swole, oil up their rippling bodies, put on some brightly coloured spandex and hop into the ring as they talk about the greatest wrestler in history, John Cena. We find new and exciting professions for Mr Cena, work out just which one of the Funky Bunch he looked liked and let Nanna win for once. Jackson is a big fan of his own calves, Edgoose is eager to see a horse get wrestled and Zoe just wants to know if the price is right. So join the gang as they start a professional wrestling career, then become a rapper, then appear in the Smosh movie for some reason..... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA. BUM-BA-DA-BA!Want to help John Cena awareness? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting his face on the side of every bus!Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Daddy’s Home today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes rummage through the house, gather everything into piles and work out what items to throw out as we discuss garbage. We try and figure out the difference between garbage and recycling, discover poop-pipes and decide when is the right time to just put your fruit in the bin. Jackson has a computer that can only play solitaire, Zoe is avoiding making a poop-face in public and Duscher just wants to ask police officers questions. So join the gang as they take out the trash. This episode can really be describes as that type of garbage that stays in your office bin because it’s mainly paper and a few rotting apple cores, but not enough to justify getting up and getting rid of it. Want to help Duscher become a garbage man? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in teaching him to drive a sweet truck. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Godzilla today!In Melbourne on the 18th of February? Come see us live at the Eureka Hotel in Richmond. Doors open at 6:30, we start talking at 7! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes regress back to eating all their food through the time honoured airplane method, shake brightly coloured rattles and automatically look adorable in tiny outfits while we discuss babies. We unwillingly keep an accidental dead baby tally, the effectiveness of baby spies and question why wolves think it’s a good idea to raise a small human. Ben teaches us how babies can hone in on frequencies like robots, Marley is trying to get babies jobs as accountants and Jackson just wants to know the cutest animals in baby form. So join the gang as they delve head first into dirty nappies, bottles and dummies. It’s somewhere between gross and adorable, just like real, actual babies. They’re gross. But I want one.Want to help advocate for babies to get jobs? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in allowing babies to do your taxes. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Hungry Hungry Hippo today!In Melbourne on the 18th of February? Come see us live at the Eureka Hotel in Richmond. Doors open at 6:30, we start talking at 7! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hog the doona, complain that it’s too hot and end up sticking a leg out the side as they discuss beds. We fill mattresses with live eels, mash potato and copies of M*A*S*H, try to work out why we use Zzzz to denote sleep and learn more about snakes than we ever wanted. Jackson lets fish eat his feet, Michael doesn’t like water beds and Zammit just wants to sell out for a memory foam bed. So join the gang as they sleep through their alarms and refuse to get out of bed.Want to help dreams from becoming nightmares? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in a good night’s sleep. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Link today!Remember to go to HelloFresh.com.au, enter coupon code SHUTUP40 on purchase and you too can entice Jackson to come eat at your house because the powers of friendship just isn’t enough.And don’t forget to check out Michael Shanks’ The Wizards of Aus on SBS Demand; http://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/program/the-wizards-of-aus as well as his YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/timtimfed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hang out in the Louisiana swamps, have two sets of eyelids, and get hunted by hillbillies as we discuss crocodiles. We try to work out if crocodiles could conceivably drive a car, play with the idea of a Crocodile uprising and consequently war, and attempt to envision an alligator society. Jackson prefers to sit with an alligator on a train, Aaron gives crocodiles more credit than they deserve and Zammit just tries his hardest to salvage his relationship once he Freaky Fridays himself with a crocodile. So join the gang as they swim upriver through crocodile infested waters whilst disguising themselves as logs so as not to arouse suspicion. It's a leathery good time.Want to help crocodiles learn to drive? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in saltwater transport.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Super Boy Prime today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes reach for their Aeroguard, scratch their bites, throw rocks at beehives and discuss the world of pests. We work out how big a monitor lizard mousetrap would need to be, if a lobster swarm is more a blessing than a curse and the correct procedure for scarabs under your pillow. Jackson wants to know what the worst pest infestation would be, Aaron is quite taken with the notion of an army of tiny versions of himself and Zammit just wants to hide under the fridge when the lights come on unexpectedly. So join the gang as they set some traps, avoid hitting kangaroos and make continuous references to that Brendan Fraser smash hit film involving a Mummy. It’s informative, itchy and bound to be expensive to get rid of. But you knew that when you moved in.Want to help us with our infestation problems? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the quality of butter we eat with our lobsters.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your free (possible) George Lucas today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes never age, never get sick and never die as they discuss immortal beings. We seek the sweet release of death, realise how Benjamin Buttonism is the worst version of immortality and try and pinpoint some actual immortals. Jackson decides to eat the enteral spicy pepper, Alli has enough time to learn how to beat woodland critters at chess and Duscher, as always, just wants to die. So join the gang as they unwillingly live forever. It is in no way worth it and unpleasant for everyone involved.Want to help make a highlander pact? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in good negotiations for the sweet release of death. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to fuel up your geek today!Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to HelloFresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order! Offer valid until February 2016. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes venture to the North Pole, get trapped in Santa’s workshop and are forced to make small talk with his little helpers which inevitably turns to elves. We talk about the deep connection between Mrs Claus and Idris Elba, how white-bread eggnog and bocce is and the problems of a shelf elf left to his own devices. Jackson's hatred for monopoly is finally addressed as he becomes a teddy bear, Zoe refuses to work and opts to be Santa’s side bitch instead and Zammit just wants to go out like Will Hunting. So put on an Christmas sweater, go fetch your now too cold coffee and wrap yourself in a blanket that smells like dog. It’s Shut up a Second’s Christmas Special and it’s exactly what everyone expected. Disappointment. Want to help Jones be the best schooler he can be? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference for his futureAnd don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen books about building wooden trains.Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order!Want to get some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive you’re (possible) Chewbacca today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.