Shut up a Second

In which our heroes age rapidly, begin to mumble, and get put in a home as we discuss Old, Getting/People. We discuss basic madness, the confusing nature of a pulse beat, and try to get a handle on androids. Jackson sheds a tear for the last Barry, Zoe reminds everyone of Pasquale Mario, the third Mario Brother, and Adam just wishes Jackson was better at describing monkeys. So smack your gums, tell the pots and pans to be quiet, and take a bath in the rejuvenating pool from the film cocoon. If we remember that film correctly. Which I'm pretty sure we don't.Want to help make Pasquale Brother a real game? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start coding his orange hat.In Sydney and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/MQZP.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes chuck on their uniforms, head to the crime scene, and start arresting everyone in sight as we discuss Crime III: Cops. We suggest a new branch for the military, figure out the police officers of the animal kingdom, and clear up the difference between a bread knife and a breadknife. Duscher explains Australia's controversial tunnel laws, Aaron details the code of Hammurabi, and Jackson just wants to air his grievances with Harambe. So hop in the squad car, turn on the sirens, and get ready to do the right thing: call it in.Want to help lower the hole arson rates? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can start putting cops underground. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes lose their owners, set out on a magical journey, and aren’t animated as they talk talking dog movies but not animated ones ones like homeward bound. We talk varying different dog breeds, sing a song from an Australian classic, and discuss the voice acting talents of Frankie Muniz. Jackson shares his views on animal farm, Duscher uses his special skill of knowing the release date for every movie, George worries for Stuart Little, and Zoe just wishes there were more specific cat calendars. So head homeward bound, try to forget Milo and Otis, and then remember that film Paulie about the talking parrot. Cats vs dogs was also in this genre.Want to help jackson catalog the animal stereotypes? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can buy him a scrapbook. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes roll the dice, pick a card, and place their bets as we discuss gambling. We talk losing body parts, the true blue game of two up, and the dangers of putting lottery winners name in the newspaper. Duscher wonders why it took too long for us to race horses, Jackson removes his head as a last resort, George has some choice things to say about Mark Wahlberg, and Zoe just wishes she knew how manes work. So cross your fingers, play one of the many variations of Russian roulette, and hope you don't end being the last person to shoot. Like most things, it's a gamble.Want to help pay off our gambling debt? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we won’t have to have our kneecaps broken.And don’t forget to check out George’s show this Saturday! Head to http://www.georgedima.com for all the details and to purchase tickets! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes have a question, can't find the answer, and so turn to Google for help as we discuss Google. We worry about people living in our cupboards, trash talk the far inferior search engines of Yahoo and Bing, and inevitably discuss Nan . Jackson Googles just about everything under the sun, Zoe reminisces about a barbie PlayStation 1 game, and Duscher just wishes everyone would play Slime Soccer. So jump online, politely ask Jeeves if he can choof off, and turn to the search engine everybody knows and loves, Google. Thanks Google, we love you.Want Google to change Google Shopping back to froogle? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can start writing up a petition.And don’t forget to head to http://google.com/usability/sanspants to sign up and take part in helping Google improve their not at all hostile takeover of the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hack the mainframe, surf the information superhighway, and search the ‘net as they discuss The Internet. We reminisce over internet sounds, turn the internet into a butler, and partake in arts and crafts. Jackson describes the first computer ever, Zoe describes the first, very depressing, email, and Duscher just wishes movies knew what hacking was. So plug in your internet cable, yell at mum to get off the phone, and listen to that sweet cacophony of noises that is the 56k internet dialling up. It's the most beautiful music there is. It’s almost like a lullaby.Want to help Siri understand Duscher better? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can get him some elocution lessons.And don’t forget to head to http://google.com/usability/sanspants to sign up and take part in helping Google improve their not at all hostile takeover of the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes find a running body of water, decide they need to get across to the other side, and try and nut out a solution to their problem as we discuss bridges. We talk about the historical use of canyons, Jackson's personal memoirs, and make Dads mad. Tessa creates an ornamental bridge of skulls, Edgoose creates a bridge of flesh, and Jackson is scared of youths and their penchant for digging. So build a bridge, thank god we can connect landmasses this way, and merrily drive across. Bridges are great. Want to help Tess keep her Skull bridge in a warehouse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can pay for general upkeep.And don’t forget to head to http://google.com/usability/sanspants to sign up and take part in helping Google improve their not at all hostile takeover of the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes steal horses, rob carriages, stand and deliver and talk about bush rangers. We enjoy Australian's excuse for battle armour, want to take selfies with dead crooks and laugh at dumb past scientists for think Australia was a different shape to what it actually is. Gabe fills us in on the history of the Kelly gang, Jackson wants to know when we decided we weren't cool with corpses and special guests Liam and David from DCM Works both just want to look down on all of us dirty Victorians. So sit back and hand over all your valuables as we quit this podcasting nonsense and take up bush ranging.Want to get robbed? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can pretend you didn't donate that we robbed you like the outlaws we are.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes cross their fingers, cross their toes and howl in agony when the sound of snapping bones reminds them that “crossing” isn’t really in toes’ wheelhouse as we discuss Digits. We reach a very quick consensus on extra thumbs, consider the drawbacks of nub justice and struggle with the concept of amphibious life. Edgoose dishes out some straight-up murder, Tessa repeatedly counts to eleven with potentially Satanic implications and Jackson just wants a concrete definition on pudding. So join the gang as they largely ignore toes to talk about fingers. Apologies if you wanted an hour on the joys of imperceptibly better balance and guidance when counting to numbers between 11 and 20. It’s done now and you don’t deserve better. Digits.Want to help us count to 10? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us with basic math.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ and grab some Sanspants Merch here http://teepublic.com/user/sanspantsradio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes erroneously prepare for a big turnout, cut mammoth slices that nobody would sensibly request and are forced to follow a satisfying meal with gigantic slabs of sugar as we discuss cake. We push our pathetic plastic dessert forks into region-specific cooking literature, consider practical applications for cake and propose substitutes for sugar and flour. Jackson breaks into houses, Alli delivers a message to Mark Ruffalo/Buffalo and Zammit just tries to ruin all of your favourite foods. So join the gang as they attempt to refuse seconds, but, hindered by food-induced lethargy, end up with more cake. Never again.Want to help us make the perfect cake? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us gain weight for the winter.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/, grab some Sanspants Merch here http://teepublic.com/user/sanspantsradio and vote for us in the Podcast Awards here http://www.podcastawards.com! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes are confronted with the unknown and the mysterious and do their best to solve the unsolved mysteries of the world. We pay too much for meat pies, get distracted by Jackson's fantastic dog and get stung by bees when we sleep in their hives. Zoe wants to turn the Hindenburg into a mystery, Adam gets mad when people don't understand bikes and Jackson just wants to keep you all posted about Dogwatch 2016. So sit back, put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and try to help us solve unsolved mysteries. Or at least cause some more.Want to help us understand the mysteries of fire? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can make a difference in our day to day lives.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/, grab some Sanspants Merch here http://teepublic.com/user/sanspantsradio and vote for us in the Podcast Awards here http://www.podcastawards.com! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes clean their aquarium, go down to the local fish n chip shop, buy too many dim sims and chat about all things fish. We discuss fish funerals, steal the superpowers we assume that sea creatures have and inevitably create a wet apocalypse using nothing but the ocean and moth dust. Jackson idealises a whole new way of fishing, Leo shares a cautionary tale about shrimp and Duscher just ate stupid pills for breakfast. So join the gang as they cast a line, relax and stare into the empty void that is the ocean as it stares back and maybe, just maybe, fall in love.Want to help Pope Fish rebuild the Church of Fish? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help convert those dirty fish heathens.Head to TeePublic to grab some sweet Sanspants Tees for only $14! And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes shuffle the deck, criticize each-other’s deck-shuffling techniques and angrily reshuffle the deck as we discuss playing cards. We find ourselves underwhelmed by the nominally supernatural world of tarot, demand a greater level of sophistication from our magicians and express our disgust at anyone daring to assail us with mathematics. Jackson takes the opportunity to make his feelings known about kangaroos, Alli defends her knowledge of Alice in Wonderland and Zammit just wants the king to be sickeningly greasy. So join the gang as we offhandedly mention suit ranks and imply the existence of a game called 500 somewhere within a conversation about animals, nobility and bogus illusions. Playing cards. Want to help us make our own deck? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us in this game of poker.Come see D&D is for Nerds Live Dungeon Crawl on the 28th of May, you can book tickets here: https://www.trybooking.com/LKBEAnd don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes select their murder methods, leave their calling cards and attempt to evade an ever-growing investigation as we discuss serial killers. We propose applications for disembodied arms, exploit the shortcomings of island law and examine the in-and-outs of running a successful murder hotel. Joel defends Charles Manson, Jackson fights the urge to needlessly declare his guilt, Zoe tries to describe an irregular bucket and Zammit just wants his cats to wait for the police. So join the gang as they publicly dissect their darkest instincts, causing irreparable damage to their social and legal standing, while acquainting themselves with serial killers.Want to help us cover up these murders? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us avoid the chair.Come see D&D is for Nerds Live Dungeon Crawl on the 28th of May, you can book tickets here: https://www.trybooking.com/LKBEAnd don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes look up the meanings of our name, change them all to better ones and immediately regret it as we discuss Alberts. We find weird fatty lumps on our bodies, discover how being an Albert would change our lives and turn Albert into an 80s cartoon style acronym. Jackson takes up wind-surfing to spite a village, TDB is forced to watch movies and Zammit just wants to find more animals designed to be eaten. So join the gang as they learn how to spell names. It’s a time. A time with someone called Albert.Want to help Jackson change his name Albert? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in his new identity.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes make a mess in the ocean, try to clean it all up and wonder how water gets so clean while discussing sponges. We have a guess about how many people tried to build the Ark before Noah, try to sell effective crime scene cleaning sponges on late night TV and hold the world ransom as we suck up the sea. Jackson furthers scientific knowledge by discovering a kraken, Alli makes a bet about flies and Zammit just wants to sponge up a giraffe. So join the gang as they marvel over what can only be described as the best argument for the existence of god; the humble sponge.Want to help Jackson establish a cult? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the public’s acceptance that cousins is okay.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes move out to the woods to escape the hustle and bustle of a modern big city, overcome a mid-life career crisis and wonder what to do with all these logs as we discuss cabins. We make our own three bedroom cabins, dissect the motives of Robin Hood and attempt to do our best Brian Blessed inspired Tarzan calls. Jackson tries to understand old timey toys, Zammit learns to pronounce heirloom and Alli just wants endless fireplaces. So join the gang as they vaguely touch on the concept of cabins. It’s almost as nice as sitting by a wood log fire with a hot chocolate and a good book. Want to help with our bathroom renovations? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Jackon’s dream cabin in the woods! Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes take out their pencil sharpener, sharpen the lead to a perfect point to only have it instantly break as they discuss pencils. We discover the corruption of kid’s birthday party games, break pencils all day long and bask in the nostalgic smell of pencil shavings. Jackson never got his pen license and is therefore a criminal, Alli loves the four-colour pencil and Tessa just wants kids to be impressed by her colouring skills. So join the gang as they bust out the Derwents, get drawing and try to colour inside the lines. If you lend us a pencil don’t expect it back.Want to help keeping those sectional pencils together? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the longevity of kids stationary.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes avoid the dentist, go hunting for an everlasting gobstopper and eat their body weight in sugar as they discuss candy. We become the star attraction on the circus circuit, send letters to candy suppliers for nefarious reasons and discuss the Cronenberg-esque body horror of slowly turning into candy over a week. Jackson gets annoyed at giant lollypops, Alli finds out what gummy tummy is and Duscher just wants to subtlety put his headphones back on. So join the gang as they get tooth decay and ruin a lot of different kinds of candy for you.Want to help supply Alli with a lifetime supply of fairy floss? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her acquiring diabetes.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes put on their lycra, pump up their tyres, find their safest helmet and start peddling as they talk all things bicycles. We take a look at the four set phrases bosses say, wonder if death threats make something cool and then just spaghet about it as we hop into our saucy side car! Jackson defines a bike poorly straight off the bat, George has fond memories of Shallow Hal and Duscher just wants to learn how to pronounce statistician correctly. It all goes downhill quick and then never really recovers, which is good because uphill is hard. Want to help us develop the first ever bossicycle? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us reach the next step in employee/employer relationships.To see more of George and to book tickets to his one man show head to http://www.georgedima.com. George & Co. (the solo tour) is running from now til Sunday the 3rd of April downstairs at the Grand Mercure, so come on down and we might see you there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes climb the stage, regress ten years, and head to class as they discuss high school. We look at the unjust nature of some teachers, try to fix education, and wonder what kind of hellschool would ban best friends. Zammit channels his inner bully, Jackson wants to help kids fight swans, Zoe struggles with her taxes, and Duscher just wants to teach teens how not to be dickheads. So throw on your backpack, crack open your locker, and try not to get beat up. It's the least important part of existence.Want to help us do a live show in your hometown? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help in our quest to see your handsome faces. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes put on a pair of gumboots, douse ourselves with insect repellent and wade out into the depths as we discuss swamps. We attempt to work out the difference between a swamp, a mangrove, a wetland and a marsh, feed carrots to human teeth wielding fish and talk about Man-Thing. Jackson has to exasperatedly explain what mud men are, Alli isn’t afraid of the ocean and Tessa just wants people to know Spongebob Squarepants is riddled with inaccuracies. So join the gang as they delve deep into the swamp lands down by the bayou. It’s kinda goopy, a little gross and full of nothing that great.Want to help Man-Thing in his advocacy for education of swamps? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in raising awareness of swamps all around the world. And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes don’t turn up to recording, take a week off and decide to do a clip show instead, so it’s the best bits of Shut up a Second Season 1! Alli shifts through the archive to find the best moments, we remember Duscher’s dad’s tussle with a furby, revisit our bestiary creations and touch upon the many crimes of Caligula. Jackson’s strong and clearly foreign accent has yet to be gentrified, Zoe’s vocal chords haven’t been ruined by years of cigarettes and Duscher just hasn’t changed. So take a stroll down memory lane, relive some of our finest moments and remember why you fell in love with us in the first place.Want to help us make another clip show? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Alli gearing up for the best of Season 2!Help support Comedy Cures charity by going over to https://groupees.com/rofl and purchasing some fine comedy bundles! We’ve got D&D is for Nerds Season 1 completely ad free and there’s a bunch of other goodies to get.And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes go out for a night on the town and can’t decide between high-heels, sneakers and our much beloved crocs as they discuss shoes. We work out why shoes don’t make sounds, reinvent rollerblades and discover pocket socks. Jackson thinks socks aren’t that clever of an idea, Duscher wants all shoes to be platform shoes and Sonia just looks like an idiot for her high school years. So join the gang as they learn to tie their shoelaces. It’s a lot harder than it looks and involves many overcomplicated and unnecessary knots. Want to help reinvent the shoe? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in something that is probably good enough as is. Want to some books to explain the birds and the bees? Head to http://sexedrescue.com/2016/giveaways/book_giveaway/ and enter for your chance to win! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes connect tenuous dots, make some barely convincing arguments and are unmoved in our beliefs as we discuss conspiracy theories… again. We elect a cactus, punch children for doubting the moon landing and are astounded by how many people go missing in National Parks. Jackson wants to know what they are doing about Africa, Marley won’t get anywhere when you count down at her and Duscher just wants dead people to stay dead. So join the gang as they become cult like in their beliefs and attempt to take down the lizard people secretly piloting the moon. It’s the only conspiracy show the illuminati isn't trying to shut down.Want to help prove that farmers are really all a giant con? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the true origin of bread. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes gain extra limbs, use their suction cups to get stuck to the ceiling and release the kraken as they discuss octopuses, octopi and/or octopodes. We find the sweet release of death blue-ringed octopuses provide, discover the best use for an octopus and teach a gorilla and a parrot to have a conversation. Jackson gauges octopus donut brainpower, Jarrod hates the word “seldom” and Tessa just wants to tell a story about an octopus becoming a life guard and the life lessons it learns along the way. So join the gang as they ink all over themselves, cause a scene and quickly scamper away to create further cephalopod mischief.Want to help sea creatures open jars? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in underwater storage. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Octopus Garden today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get swole, oil up their rippling bodies, put on some brightly coloured spandex and hop into the ring as they talk about the greatest wrestler in history, John Cena. We find new and exciting professions for Mr Cena, work out just which one of the Funky Bunch he looked liked and let Nanna win for once. Jackson is a big fan of his own calves, Edgoose is eager to see a horse get wrestled and Zoe just wants to know if the price is right. So join the gang as they start a professional wrestling career, then become a rapper, then appear in the Smosh movie for some reason..... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA. BUM-BA-DA-BA!Want to help John Cena awareness? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting his face on the side of every bus!Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Daddy’s Home today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes rummage through the house, gather everything into piles and work out what items to throw out as we discuss garbage. We try and figure out the difference between garbage and recycling, discover poop-pipes and decide when is the right time to just put your fruit in the bin. Jackson has a computer that can only play solitaire, Zoe is avoiding making a poop-face in public and Duscher just wants to ask police officers questions. So join the gang as they take out the trash. This episode can really be describes as that type of garbage that stays in your office bin because it’s mainly paper and a few rotting apple cores, but not enough to justify getting up and getting rid of it. Want to help Duscher become a garbage man? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in teaching him to drive a sweet truck. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Godzilla today!In Melbourne on the 18th of February? Come see us live at the Eureka Hotel in Richmond. Doors open at 6:30, we start talking at 7! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes regress back to eating all their food through the time honoured airplane method, shake brightly coloured rattles and automatically look adorable in tiny outfits while we discuss babies. We unwillingly keep an accidental dead baby tally, the effectiveness of baby spies and question why wolves think it’s a good idea to raise a small human. Ben teaches us how babies can hone in on frequencies like robots, Marley is trying to get babies jobs as accountants and Jackson just wants to know the cutest animals in baby form. So join the gang as they delve head first into dirty nappies, bottles and dummies. It’s somewhere between gross and adorable, just like real, actual babies. They’re gross. But I want one.Want to help advocate for babies to get jobs? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in allowing babies to do your taxes. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Hungry Hungry Hippo today!In Melbourne on the 18th of February? Come see us live at the Eureka Hotel in Richmond. Doors open at 6:30, we start talking at 7! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hog the doona, complain that it’s too hot and end up sticking a leg out the side as they discuss beds. We fill mattresses with live eels, mash potato and copies of M*A*S*H, try to work out why we use Zzzz to denote sleep and learn more about snakes than we ever wanted. Jackson lets fish eat his feet, Michael doesn’t like water beds and Zammit just wants to sell out for a memory foam bed. So join the gang as they sleep through their alarms and refuse to get out of bed.Want to help dreams from becoming nightmares? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in a good night’s sleep. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Link today!Remember to go to HelloFresh.com.au, enter coupon code SHUTUP40 on purchase and you too can entice Jackson to come eat at your house because the powers of friendship just isn’t enough.And don’t forget to check out Michael Shanks’ The Wizards of Aus on SBS Demand; http://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/program/the-wizards-of-aus as well as his YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/timtimfed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hang out in the Louisiana swamps, have two sets of eyelids, and get hunted by hillbillies as we discuss crocodiles. We try to work out if crocodiles could conceivably drive a car, play with the idea of a Crocodile uprising and consequently war, and attempt to envision an alligator society. Jackson prefers to sit with an alligator on a train, Aaron gives crocodiles more credit than they deserve and Zammit just tries his hardest to salvage his relationship once he Freaky Fridays himself with a crocodile. So join the gang as they swim upriver through crocodile infested waters whilst disguising themselves as logs so as not to arouse suspicion. It's a leathery good time.Want to help crocodiles learn to drive? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in saltwater transport.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Super Boy Prime today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes reach for their Aeroguard, scratch their bites, throw rocks at beehives and discuss the world of pests. We work out how big a monitor lizard mousetrap would need to be, if a lobster swarm is more a blessing than a curse and the correct procedure for scarabs under your pillow. Jackson wants to know what the worst pest infestation would be, Aaron is quite taken with the notion of an army of tiny versions of himself and Zammit just wants to hide under the fridge when the lights come on unexpectedly. So join the gang as they set some traps, avoid hitting kangaroos and make continuous references to that Brendan Fraser smash hit film involving a Mummy. It’s informative, itchy and bound to be expensive to get rid of. But you knew that when you moved in.Want to help us with our infestation problems? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the quality of butter we eat with our lobsters.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your free (possible) George Lucas today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes never age, never get sick and never die as they discuss immortal beings. We seek the sweet release of death, realise how Benjamin Buttonism is the worst version of immortality and try and pinpoint some actual immortals. Jackson decides to eat the enteral spicy pepper, Alli has enough time to learn how to beat woodland critters at chess and Duscher, as always, just wants to die. So join the gang as they unwillingly live forever. It is in no way worth it and unpleasant for everyone involved.Want to help make a highlander pact? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in good negotiations for the sweet release of death. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to fuel up your geek today!Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to HelloFresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order! Offer valid until February 2016. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes venture to the North Pole, get trapped in Santa’s workshop and are forced to make small talk with his little helpers which inevitably turns to elves. We talk about the deep connection between Mrs Claus and Idris Elba, how white-bread eggnog and bocce is and the problems of a shelf elf left to his own devices. Jackson's hatred for monopoly is finally addressed as he becomes a teddy bear, Zoe refuses to work and opts to be Santa’s side bitch instead and Zammit just wants to go out like Will Hunting. So put on an Christmas sweater, go fetch your now too cold coffee and wrap yourself in a blanket that smells like dog. It’s Shut up a Second’s Christmas Special and it’s exactly what everyone expected. Disappointment. Want to help Jones be the best schooler he can be? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference for his futureAnd don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen books about building wooden trains.Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order!Want to get some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive you’re (possible) Chewbacca today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes wake up, look in the pantry, realise they’re standing before a live audience and discuss breakfast. We discuss the importance of keeping regular, the dangers of eating a meal at the wrong time, and try to get to the bottom of the Breakfast Club. Zoe gets her eating habits discussed, Jackson commits himself to an eternity of ham, and Duscher just wants everyone to know how he feels about bacon. It's a randomly chosen live extravaganza and also the most important meal of the day.Want to help us do another live show? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us come to your town!And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least two books about the logistics of brunching at a jewellery store.Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes accept donations from dubious corporations for future political favour, hire the best campaign manager money can buy and go to the polls to discuss Presidents. We come up with fool proof long cons, replace the president with ourselves, and attempt to take Antarctica’s ice. Jackson becomes the president to commit crimes, Zammit needs to stick to the kitchen and Tess loses herself in a megaladon fuelled rampage. So join the gang as they tackle the public eye scandal with pre-approved one liners and almost commit a felony. It’s not for you, but for your country.Want to help get the Studio Horse elected? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in making the most majestic creature rule us all. Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.aufor more information and to book your ticket now!Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order! Offer valid until February 2016.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least five books about presidential ties throughout time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get equilateral, isosceles, and also scalene as they discuss triangles. We sort out how new age toasters work, teach school kids maths, and find triangles in the room. Jackson wants to be buried in a pyramid, Zoe thinks that triangles are the least useful shape and Duscher is just grateful that he wasn’t around when wooly mammoths were around. So join the gang as they triangulate the position of a triathlon in it's third trimester and get lost forever in the Bermuda Triangle. Triangles! What a time!Want to help with Jackson’s burial requests? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in making him a mummy.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now!Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your first order! Offer valid until February 2016.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least two books about alternative ways to measure angles. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes hang from the rafters, navigate by sonar and feast on bugs and insects as they discuss bats. We consider the differences between bats and flying foxes, venture briefly into the creepiness of balloons, and eventually get back on the bat-track. Jackson has spontaneous bats erupting from his nipples, Duscher recalls experiencing instant karma while committing a crime and special guest Claire Sullivan just wants to figure out an appropriate term for masturbation. So join the gang as they hang out upside down and use echolocation to search for moths and other small invertebrates. Or sometimes frogs. Sometimes blood too. Depends on the bat.Want to help Duscher get revenge on the bat that shat on him? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our ability to get a lawyer who specializes in bat-based crimes.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirty-two books about coping with suddenly sprouting bats from your person.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes dig a whole, set up camp and try to avoid letting the rain in their underground home as they discuss burrowers… or burrows. No one really knows. We hide bodies into taxidermy animals, fill burrows with objects and work out what vignettes are. Jackson struggles to list things that burrows, Zoe is disappointed in the current parody title trend of using a triple X as a suffix and Alli just wants to watch the last Harry Potter movie in peace. So join the gang as they go in blind just to see would happen. It’ll make you want to live in a burrow and never come out. But do avoid badgers, they have a taste for dwarf-flesh now.Want to help Zoe make it as a parody director? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in top quality skin flicks.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least twenty-two books about badger blood lust.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes spread their wings, take to the skies, and head south for winter as they discuss birds… Again. We replace our faces with beaks, question if we can eat roosters and attempt to name as many birds as possible to disappointing results. Jackson carries everything around in his gross mouth, Dave Warneke ups the entertainment value of Australian politics with a spoon bill and Duscher just wants everyone to realize the the truth behind bird heads. So join the gang as they attempt to figure out if there are any birds left. The answer is no. No there is not. We did it guys, got 'em all. Good job team. Who’s the Bird Kings? That’s right. Us.Still want to help make our bird-man-dreams a reality? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our bird-man lives.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably still at least eight books about taking to the air and leaving it all behind.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get invited to a masquerade ball, attempt to conceal their faces and end up in the thrall of Loki as they discuss masks. We discuss which superhero has the worst mask, how to last minute MacGyver a mask using items only found in your car and the shocking connection between William Shatner and Mike Myers (the horror villain, not that plucky Canadian comedian). Aaron doesn’t believe mask-doctors exists, Alli shows off her encyclopaedic knowledge of Sailor Moon and Duscher just wants to list things. So join the gang as they’re escorted from the party and end up easily identifiable in a police line-up because they all choose to hide their identity poorly. It’s a sad state of affairs with no one covering their face.Want to help Aaron with his GPS mask? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month; you can help make a difference in getting better directions to the refreshments table. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least six hundred and sixteen books about masks for up and coming vigilantes.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes spread their wings, take to the skies, and head south for winter as they discuss birds. We upset our Adelaide fans, have vivid man-dreams and attempt to pin down the abilities of a flamingo. Jackson discovers that this podcast can be used against him in the court of law, Dave Warneke teaches us how to fly in your dreams and Duscher just needs to recall a machete. So join the gang as they free their pets only to watch them get carried away by eagles. Nature. It’s a magical thing involving circles, life and a bird named Jeffrey having a shit one.Want to help make our bird-man-dreams a reality? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our bird-man lives.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eight books about taking to the air and leaving it all behind.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes wonder why it’s so dark, flick switches and illuminate the room so we can discuss lamps. We try to work out if whales have bad breath, attempt to get way more sleep than humanly needed and think the astro-globe is much cooler. Jackson has an existential crisis as he realises that he's never been in a cave, Jarrod talks about his experiences with frogs and Zoe just needs to recall a bat. So join the gang as they try once and for all to discover how many idiots it takes to change a lightbulb because the answer is clearly more than three. It’s enlightening and we're still not sure why.Want to help bring back the lava lamp? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in nostalgic old aunts remembering their youth. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least twenty-one books about the history of lampshades.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes stock up on lives, grab as many health potions as they can and use a cheat code to unlock all vehicles and unlimited ammo as we discuss video games. We create video games out of mundane household tasks, make a cashier simulator and check our knees. Jackson sees how naked you can get in almost every game he plays, Zammit squashes his girlfriend’s hand and Duscher just can’t choose a favourite gaming franchise. So join the gang as they grind and grind and eventually level up. It’s-a-me! Mario! Not really, it’s Sanspants Radio, we are sorry for misleading you.Want to help the fair distribution of save points? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in making sure you don’t have to re-do that stupid section after dying. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least three-hundred and two books about the evolution of the controller.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes run their greasy hands through special guest Matt Harvey’s luscious red locks, break out the scissors, hair dye and the trimmer before giving up and heading down to the salon to talk about all things hair. We shape Hitler’s army into the fashionable chaps they were destined to be, ensure cancer patients never get given wigs, wonder which place is the worst to grow hair and try to give our homes a haircut. Jackson wants wigs to make a comeback, Zoe finds hair in the strangest place of all and Matt just wants you to know why gingers are basically superheroes. So join the gang as they slick back their hair, apply gel, give up and just use a hat to hide their mistake.To find out more about Matt Harvey go to mattharveystuff.com and check out his new podcast Just For Funny available on iTunes or wherever you get podcasts.Want to help make the bush a thing again? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a comeback for the eyelash of the genital.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty-eight books about finding out the mystery of the hair drawer.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes dress up in costumes, get permission from their parents to go out trick or treating and eat stale chocolate as they talk about ghouls for the Shut Up It's Halloween Special. We waste wishes on chips and dip, give wet Dobby a lift and worry about Johnson B. Ghoul's existential well being. Jackson asks which 1970's genie show is better, Duscher wants to donate his body to ghouls instead of science and Zoe just wants to learn how to eat yogurt without chewing. So lock your doors and join the gang as they work out just what the hell a ghoul is. The answer may surprise you but one thing’s for sure, you will be disappointed.Want Duscher to speak in his ghoul voice forever? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us get a shaman to curse him.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirteen books about the true definition of a ghoul.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes fill her up with premium 98, put the pedal to the metal, and instantly get a parking fine as we discuss automobiles. We make wheels out of fruit, learn about the greatest inventor who ever lived and discover just how jelly really works. Jackson sets unexplainable alarms, Zoe has never had banana chips and Duscher just wants to use coal to power a car. So join the gang as they dramatically drive off a cliff. Let's burn rubber! But in a safe way, where we don't inhale toxic fumes and in fact are full of vitamins and stuff.Want to help find out who would win in a Sanspants edition of Wacky Races? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Muttley’s antics.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least seventy-two books about the better mileage on electric cars.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes listen out for the conductors whistle, check the nearest timetable, and make sure they have their boarding pass ready as they discuss trains. We deliver instruments in the worst way possible, learn a little about whale dicks, and cast our doubts on the real scariness of trains. Jackson is not convinced by the benefits of locomotives, Duscher has a train inception thing going on and Zoe just wants to talk about horses. So join the gang as they chug along to their destination. It might not be the quickest way, but by golly they'll get there.Want to help get those trains on schedule? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradioand for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in train efficiency. Not really. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fifty-five books about how to get to the North Pole on only a train. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get on stage, improvise the starting song and giggle with the crowd while we discuss Australia LIVE! We give animals peanut butter, get the Skippy Bush Kangaroo cast drunk and work out where Lassie is from. Jackson has a backup hypothetical, Zoe slaps a saddle on a crocodile, Tessa tries to take over and Duscher is just worried about Zoe’s loved ones. So join the gang as they continue to talk about the land down under in front of a live studio audience. It’s a bloody good time.Want to listen to us talk in front of a live studio audience more? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in future Sanspants Live Shows.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fourteen books about Australian animals. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes put their tray tables up, their seats in an upright position, and stow their luggage beneath their seats as they discuss planes. We try to work out if we can replace our genitals with aircraft, do bad German accents, and discover the history of Fanta. Jackson make children’s playgrounds more dangerous, Zoe takes naps in all the movies she mentions and Duscher just wants to talk SkyDancers. So join the gang as they taxi down the runway and take off. We'll be arriving in about forty minutes, so please enjoy the flight and remember to put all your electronic devices in airplane mode.Want to help the plane entertainment systems? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting everyone to watch the same movie again! And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirty-one books about sexy pilot fantasies. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.