Sex and Psychology Podcast

From the vampires and werewolves in Twilight to Bigfoot to the beast from Beauty and the Beast, it turns out that a lot of people are turned on by the idea of getting it on with a monster. But why is that? Where do these attractions come from in the first place? In this episode, we’re going to explore the rich psychology that helps to explain why monstrous, mythical, and scary creatures can sometimes become turn-ons. I am joined once again by Ella Gallego, a researcher, writer, and the founder of the Monstrous Desire Study. The study examines the cultural history of erotic monsters around the globe based on research data from over 2,200 respondents. Ella was my guest in the previous episode, in which we explored people’s biggest monster crushes. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What physical or other attributes of monsters do people find arousing? To what extent do monster fantasies overlap with interest in kink and BDSM? What is the role of fear in sexual arousal? Why do monster fantasies seem to be particularly appealing to women and LGBTQ+ folks? How important is it for us to understand where our sexual fantasies come from? You can check out Ella’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When I studied the sex fantasies of thousands of Americans for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 33% of adults had fantasized about a monster or mythical creature before, such as a vampire, werewolf, or demon. Clearly, some people find monsters to be seriously sexy. So why is that? I have a two-part series for you on monstrous desire. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about who people’s biggest monster crushes are and explore the history of sexy monsters in the media. In the next episode, we’re going to get into the psychology behind attraction to monsters. My guest is Ella Gallego, a researcher, writer, and the founder of the Monstrous Desire Study. The study examines the cultural history of erotic monsters around the globe and presents research data from over 2,200 respondents. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does it mean to be a “monster f*cker?” How long have people been attracted to monsters? Which specific monsters are people into? Why are monsters often depicted in the media in erotic ways? You can check out Ella’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex toys and sexual wellness products for men have long been stigmatized, but it’s time to change that. There are numerous products on the market that have the potential to help men improve their sexual health and performance, and that includes penis pumps! In today’s episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into these devices. We’ll talk about how penis pumps can help in terms of improving sexual self-confidence and erectile health, how to use them correctly and safely, whether they can make your penis bigger, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Lance Frank, a pelvic health physical therapist who runs Flex PT ATL in Midtown, Atlanta. His practice focuses on providing services to patients managing sexual health and intimacy concerns, pelvic pain, and urinary or bowel dysfunction. He also talks extensively about men’s pelvic health on social media, and you can follow him at @lanceinyourpants. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is a penis pump anyway, and how does it work? What are the benefits of using these devices? Compared to other erectile enhancers (e.g., medications, cock rings), what are the advantages of a pump? What are best practices for using a penis pump? What should someone consider when purchasing a pump? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In recent years, the pelvic floor is a topic that has received increased attention in the popular media. However, discussions of pelvic health tend to focus mostly on women. Male pelvic health is important for us to talk about, too, so that’s what we’re going to be discussing today. In this show, we’re going to speak with a pelvic doc for the lowdown on why we need to pay attention to male pelvic health. We’re also going to do a deep dive into Kegel exercises for men. My guest is Dr. Lance Frank, a pelvic health physical therapist who runs Flex PT ATL in Midtown, Atlanta. His practice focuses on providing services to patients managing sexual health and intimacy concerns, pelvic pain, and urinary or bowel dysfunction. He also talks extensively about men’s pelvic health on social media, and you can follow him at @lanceinyourpants. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is a pelvic health physical therapist? What’s so important about male pelvic health? What are the potential benefits (and risks) of Kegel exercises for men? How do you know whether Kegel exercises are right for you? How do men need to think differently about their pelvic health? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When it comes to having sex, there are a lot of “rules” that what we’re supposed to follow. But many of those rules contradict one another, making it hard to know what to do. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss whether we should even be following the “rules” of sex in the first place. We’re also going to explore how to increase your sexual self-understanding, as well as tips for having better sex. I am joined once again by Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are the six keys to good sex? What does it mean to approach sex as a performance, and how can we avoid this? Why is it actually a good thing to be a little bit selfish when it comes to sex? How can we learn to better assert our sexual desires and communicate boundaries? You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of the relationship advice littering every corner of the internet tries to distill love into a simple set of “rules.” It’d be nice if things were that easy, but they aren’t! It’s time to ditch the so-called “rules” of relationships because they might be getting in the way of our ability to find love. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to approach relationships in a way that’s more likely to lead to lasting happiness, and how we can do it without losing our minds. My guest is Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are some examples of really bad relationship advice? When is relationship self-help actually helpful, and when is if harmful? Are our expectations for relationships today unrealistic? Are there any universal “rules” for healthy relationships? You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Anal sex (and how to make it pleasurable) is one of those topics that people usually have to figure out all on their own. So think of today’s episode as the all-you-need-to-know guide to good anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include what you need to know about anal douching, how to choose the right lube, tips for preparing and relaxing so that you can experience pleasure instead of pain, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the gay community. He is also co-founder of the sexual wellness brand Future Method and author of the new book Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can paying attention to diet and nutrition help pave the way for more pleasurable anal sex? What do people need to know about anal douching in order to optimize health and pleasure? Why is dilating an important part of preparation before anal sex? What are the best kinds of lube for anal sex? What are some good beginner tips and techniques for penetration? You can visit Evan’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Anal sex is something humans have been practicing for thousands of years. However, is has long been shrouded in taboos, which has led to the proliferation of a lot of myths and misconceptions. In today’s show, we’ll be discussing common things people get wrong about anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include the myth of anal sex as “gay sex,” whether there’s any truth to the stereotype that anal sex roles correspond to power and gender roles, and whether there’s any truth to claims that anal sex causes long-term damage to the body. My guest is Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the gay community. He is also co-founder of the sexual wellness brand Future Method and author of the new book Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: Why is psychology an important aspect of pleasurable anal sex? Who is having anal sex? How risky is anal sex? Is receptive anal sex necessarily a “submissive” activity? What are the biggest things people get wrong about anal sex? You can visit Evan’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s Masturbation Month, so today’s episode is going to be all about self-pleasure! The origins of Masturbation Month date back to 1995, when US Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and something that should perhaps be taught in sex ed. Elders’ comments set off a political firestorm that ultimately led to her being fired. To mark her unjust dismissal, May 14 was declared National Masturbation Day, which was later expanded to include the entire month of May. For this show, we’re revisiting some of my favorite clips on the history and science of self-pleasure. My guests include Dr. Eric Sprankle, Marie Aoyama from TENGA, professor Carole Hooven, urologist Joshua Gonzalez, sleep researcher Michele Lastella, and sex therapist Emily Jamea. Some of the questions this fascinating group of folks addresses for us include: How have views on masturbation changed over time? What do people fantasize about when they masturbate? Does abstaining from masturbation boost testosterone? Can avoiding sex and masturbation actually increase athletic performance? How can we have a healthier relationship with self-pleasure? Can masturbation help us to fall asleep faster? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For today’s show, we’re diving into listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with sensory changes that happen upon reaching orgasm. It seems that some people experience temporary sensory disruptions following climax, including changes in hearing and vision. What’s that all about? The second question involves what to do if you really want to have casual sex, but you seem to struggle with it because you always end up getting too attached. Is there anything you can do about that? Let’s talk about it! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Modern psychology has a very complicated relationship with gender. Gender differences have become one of the most contentious areas in the field, and it seems like psychology isn’t entirely sure what to do with men anymore. This is especially true for heterosexual men, who are often viewed through a pathological lens. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into some controversy. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include why men are often blamed for their own sexual problems, why it’s important to acknowledge gender differences in communication styles, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Stephen Snyder, an AASECT certified sex therapist, relationship therapist, and sexual medicine specialist. Dr. Snyder is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City and author of the book LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. Some of the questions we address include: How have the dynamics of heterosexual relationships changed over time? Why does the field of sex therapy have such a complicated relationship with men and male sexuality? What are some of the key differences in sexual psychology that are important for people to understand? You can learn more about Stephen and his work on his website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s best-selling penis pump, with over one million satisfied customers. The benefits of using Xersizer include improved erection quality, more staying power, and more intense orgasms. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of sex advice boils down to one popular idea: that good sex is simply a matter of combining the right physical sensations with the right kind of mental activity. In other words, great sex is just friction plus fantasy. However, it’s more complicated than that. To have really great sex, we need to start by understanding the true nature of the sexual self. In today’s show, we’re going to explore a new way of thinking about sex, as well as discuss what you really need to know when it comes to having sex that’s truly worth having. My guest is Dr. Stephen Snyder, an AASECT certified sex therapist, relationship therapist, and sexual medicine specialist. Dr. Snyder is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City and author of the book LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. Some of the questions we address in this episode include: What’s the problem with the “friction plus fantasy” narrative? How can understanding the sexual self as “infantile” help us find inspiration in long-term sexual relationships? What is “simmering,” and what’s the benefit of learning how to do it? Why might it be bad to view sex as work? How can you develop sexual connections that last over time? You can learn more about Dr. Snyder and his work on his website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex is something that evolves with us over the course of our lives. Your level of desire, the connection you have with your partner(s), and what feels good during sex can all shift quite a lot. However, despite all of these ways that sex tends to change, most of us are expecting that it will stay the same, and that’s where problems arise. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to adapt to and embrace sexual change so that you can have hot and healthy sex for your entire life. I am joined once again by Kate Moyle, a psychosexual and relationship therapist based in the United Kingdom. She runs the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast, and is author of the new book The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can we maintain a sense of sexual curiosity over time? What is sexual currency? Why is this concept important for understanding how to maintain a lasting sexual connection? How can taking a pause from sex provide an opportunity to reboot and reset your sex life? How do you build up sexual self-confidence following a breakup? How can we prioritize and maintain lifelong sexual well-being? You can learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Xersizer is the world’s best-selling penis pump, with over one million satisfied customers. The benefits of using Xersizer include improved erection quality, more staying power, and more intense orgasms. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most sexual problems don’t require intensive therapy to solve because, more often than not, the root cause is a lack of sex education. Most of us never really learned what we need to know about sex or about our own bodies, which makes it all to easy for us to think that there might be something wrong with us when there really isn’t. So in today’s episode, we’re going to be answering some of the most common questions people have about sex. My guest is Kate Moyle, a psychosexual and relationship therapist based in the United Kingdom. She runs the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast, and is author of the new book The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered. Some of the specific questions we dive into include: What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? How do I know if I’m having “enough” sex? What’s the best time of the day to have sex? Do aphrodisiacs really work? You can learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s STI Awareness Month, so let’s take some time to brush up on our knowledge of sexually transmitted infections. You may think you already know everything there is to know, but trust me, you don’t! In today’s show, we’re going to discuss some surprising and lesser-known facts about STIs that challenge the conventional wisdom. For example, is someone who has a larger number of sexual partners necessarily more likely to have an STI than someone with fewer partners? Likewise, are things like pubic hair grooming and the rise of online dating apps affecting STI rates? For this show, we’re revisiting my conversation with Dr. Ina Park from all the way back in episode 39. She is an associate professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine and author of the book Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs. Why is it the case that having more sexual partners doesn’t necessarily translate to having more STIs? Broadly speaking, how do some of our sexual practices shape STIs? What’s the relationship between pubic hair grooming and STIs? What are some tips for individuals who want to talk about STIs with a sexual and/or romantic partner? How can we break down STI taboo and stigma to facilitate more open conversations on the subject? You can learn more about Ina’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we talked all about how psychedelics can help in treating sexual problems. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the ethical and legal considerations of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. For example, how does consent work when patients are under the influence of a psychedelic drug? Likewise, how do therapists maintain appropriate ethical boundaries when working with clients who are in an altered and potentially vulnerable state? I am joined once again by is Jeff Lundgren, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and a psychedelic-assisted therapy provider. He runs a private practice based in Salt Lake City, Utah and is author of the new book “Unfolding Eros: A Journey into Psychedelic-Assisted Sex Therapy.” Some of the specific questions we address this episode include: What kinds of safeguards do practitioners need to be thinking about in order to minimize the risk of harm when someone is undergoing psychedelic-assisted therapy? What do people need to know about the potential side effects and health risks of psychedelic substances? What is the current legal landscape for psychedelic-assisted sex therapy? How do laws need to change in order to accommodate the practice of psychedelic therapy? What should you look for in a provider, and what are some red flags to watch out for? Check out Jeff’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We’ve long known that psychedelics have the potential to help treat various mental health issues, but researchers are starting to take notice of the potential therapeutic applications of these drugs for dealing with sexual difficulties. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the small but growing world of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. Some of the topics we’re going to discuss include how psychedelics can put us in the right state of mind for enjoying great sex, which psychedelics have the most promising applications for treating sexual difficulties, and what psychedelic-assisted sex therapy actually looks like. My guest is Jeff Lundgren, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and a psychedelic-assisted therapy provider. He runs a private practice based in Salt Lake City, Utah and he is author of the new book “Unfolding Eros: A Journey into Psychedelic-Assisted Sex Therapy.” Some of the specific questions we discuss include: What is a psychedelic anyway? How can psychedelics help create a feeling of presence during sex? What kinds of sexual problems have the greatest potential to be helped through the use of psychedelics? Does cannabis have the same therapeutic potential as psychedelics? What kinds of questions should someone think about before considering psychedelic-assisted sex therapy? Check out Jeff’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The term “ethical gangbang” probably sounds like an oxymoron to a lot of folks. Can a gangbang really be ethical? Let’s talk about it! In today’s show, I’m speaking with a porn director whose latest film features an ethical gangbang. Some of the topics we’ll dive into include how things like consent and safety are managed when filming a group sex scene, the difference between objectification and empowerment in adult films, and how consumers can identify ethical erotic content. I am joined once again by Erika Lust, an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker who creates sex-positive adult cinema by portraying relatable characters and realistic hot sex. Over the past 20 years, Erika has directed 6 feature films and series and over 130 short films. In 2015, Erika gave her a popular TEDx talk titled ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change‘. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does the term “ethical porn” mean? What does an “ethical gangbang” look like? How are consent and boundaries maintained when shooting complex group scenes? How does a scene look or feel different when it’s empowering as opposed to when it’s objectifying? What should consumers look for if they want to support ethical porn? How are growing legal restrictions on porn shaping the industry? You can check out Erika’s films here, and use the code “SEXANDPSYCH” for a 30% discount on the site’s content. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? In today’s show, I’m going to be speaking with a director who has decades of experience creating adult films. We’re going to explore how she got into the business, her approach to making erotic cinema, and what she does to ensure the comfort and safety of performers. She is a pioneer in creating ethical and feminist porn, so we’re also going to talk about how her work has changed the landscape for adult films. My guest is Erika Lust, an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker who creates sex-positive adult cinema by portraying relatable characters and realistic hot sex. Over the past 20 years, Erika has directed 6 feature films and series and over 130 short films. In 2015, Erika gave a popular TEDx talk titled ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change‘. Some of the topics we discuss include: What do both Hollywood and porn get wrong when to comes to depicting sex on screen? How is Erika’s approach to making adult films different from what people might be used to seeing in porn? What kind of reaction has ethical and feminist porn received from the broader male-dominated porn industry? What has changed in the world of porn in the last two decades? You can check out Erika’s films here, and use the code “SEXANDPSYCH” for a 30% discount on the site’s content. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Do you feel like work is getting in the way of your sex life? If so, you’re definitely not alone. Work can leave us tired or exhausted, heavily stressed, and highly distracted, which is a recipe for sexual problems. Maybe it’s time to set some boundaries? In today’s show, we’re going to talk all about the negative ways in which work can interfere with sex, why this happens, and how we can prevent it. We’re also going to talk about how to make sex a priority in your life so that you can harness the stress-relieving benefits of it. I am joined once again by Amanda Jepson, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ASSECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She is one of the co-founders of the non-profit Respark Foundation, a Clinical Therapist at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic, and a lecturer for the University of Colorado-Denver. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: How can work-related stress interfere with sexual desire, arousal, and function? If you have a particularly high-stress job, what can you do to get your sex life back on track? What does work-life balance really look like, and is it realistic to attain? How can engaging in sex more often help us to deal with stress? What are some ways we can prioritize sex in our lives? To learn more about the Respark Foundation, you can click here to visit their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Seventy percent of adults have experienced one or more traumatic events in their lifetime, with sexual trauma being among the most common forms. There’s a popular narrative in the media that trauma fundamentally changes our bodies and brains, which can give the impression that trauma never resolves. However, there is hope. On today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to heal and move beyond sexual trauma. We’ll also talk about tips for navigating relationships when one partner has a history of trauma. My guest is Amanda Jepson, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ASSECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She is one of the co-founders of the non-profit Respark Foundation, a Clinical Therapist at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic, and a lecturer for the University of Colorado-Denver. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: What does the term “sexual trauma” mean in a clinical context? What are some of the most common impacts of sexual trauma? How can individuals who have experienced trauma learn to reconnect with their bodies? What kinds of treatments do sex therapists use in cases of sexual trauma? How do you bring up the topic of trauma with a romantic partner? How can you be a supportive partner to someone with a history of trauma? To learn more about the Respark Foundation, you can click here to visit their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Interest in non-monogamy is on the rise, with nationally representative US surveys now finding that approximately one-third of American adults say their ideal relationship would be sexually open. But if you want to give this a try, what do you need to know? In today’s show, we’ll explore the questions to ask yourself before opening up, as well as common issues that arise in multi-partner relationships and how to deal with them. My guest is Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She founded On The Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex. She is the resident Sex and Relationship Expert on the Peacock series Couple to Throuple. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Whether you’re currently single or in a relationship, what do you need to know before you start exploring non-monogamy? How do you set boundaries in multi-partner relationships? What can you do if jealousy pops up? If you’re practicing polyamory, how do you know when you’ve reached your saturation point? What is “new relationship energy,” and how do you prevent it from becoming an issue? What are some common red flags in poly and open relationships? Make sure to check out Shamyra’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @sexologistshamyra. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most reality dating shows follow the same formula in that they’re fundamentally about two people finding love and building a couple relationship. However, the new series Couple to Throuple offers a unique twist: viewers follow a group of queer, open-minded couples who are interested in expanding their relationships by bringing a third partner into the mix. This show has sparked a wide range of reactions among viewers, both positive and negative. So let’s talk about it! My guest is Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She founded On The Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex. She is the resident Sex and Relationship Expert on the Peacock series Couple to Throuple. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: In what ways is this show different from anything else that has come before? What is the role of a sex and relationship expert on a show like this? What were some of the biggest issues that came up as couples explored what it might look like to be a throuple? Does this show offer an accurate depiction of polyamory? How can a show like Couple to Throuple contribute to broader conversations about relationship diversity and polyamory? Make sure to check out Shamyra’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @sexologistshamyra. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine that your genitals were in a constant, uncontrollable state of arousal. You might be thinking that doesn’t sound too bad, but you’d be mistaken. Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD) is a highly distressing condition. People who have it live with unwanted arousal that doesn’t bring pleasure, and there’s almost no relief from it. This makes it difficult, if not impossible, to concentrate, work, and sleep. In this episode, we’re going to dive into what we know about PGAD, including how common it is, what causes it, and how it’s treated. I am joined once again by Sue W. Goldstein, an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and Clinical Research Manager at San Diego Sexual Medicine. Ms. Goldstein co-authored the book When Sex Isn’t Good to provide education and empowerment to women with sexual dysfunction. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What does PGAD look like in everyday life? What kind of effects does this have on people? How long have we known about PGAD, and how common is it? What causes uncontrollable genital arousal? Are there any treatments that work? To learn more about women’s sexual health issues, check out Sue’s book here and visit Vella Biosciences. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Antidepressants are notorious for their sexual side effects, including diminished sexual desire and difficulties with arousal and orgasm. It was long thought that these side effects were temporary; however, a growing number of people are reporting persistent sexual difficulties after discontinuing the medication, known as Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD). In today’s show, we’re going to discuss what we know about PSSD, including how common it is, what causes it, and what we can do about it. I am joined by Sue W. Goldstein, an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and Clinical Research Manager at San Diego Sexual Medicine. Ms. Goldstein co-authored the book When Sex Isn’t Good to provide education and empowerment to women with sexual dysfunction. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: How many people experience sexual side effects from antidepressants? What are the most common symptoms of PSSD? Is PSSD a formal medical diagnosis? Why is PSSD controversial? Are there any gender differences in PSSD? Why might SSRIs can cause long-term sexual dysfunction? To learn more about women’s sexual health issues, check out Sue’s book here and visit Vella Biosciences. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Factor’s delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy! No matter your schedule for the week, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietician approved meals delivered right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/sexandpsych50 and use code sexandpsych50 to get 50% off your order. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the not too distant past, most people followed the same relationship model and settled down into monogamous marriages pretty early in life. Today, however, people are spending more and more of their adult lives single, fewer are opting to marry at all, and those who do are waiting much longer to tie the knot. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into the modern sexual landscape and look at what people really want from relationships, including their attitudes toward casual sex, monogamy, non-monogamy, and infidelity. I am joined once again by Tina Fetner, a professor of sociology at McMaster University. She is the author of the new book Sex in Canada: The Who, Why, When, and How of Getting Down Up North. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How much has the marriage rate changed over time? Why are adults staying single for longer periods of time? If most singles want relationships, why does everyone seem to think that they don’t want them? Why are young folks increasingly concerned with telling a partner that they want to be exclusive? How many people in relationships are practicing monogamy vs consensual non-monogamy? Make sure to check out Tina’s website to learn more and follow her on Instagram @tinafetner. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Learn to make time for what makes you happy. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Some of the most common sex questions I’ve received from listeners over the years include, “Am I having enough sex?” and “Am I masturbating too much?” While people are often very interested in how their sex life stacks up, the truth of the matter is that comparing yourself to other people can lead us astray because “normal” doesn’t mean just one thing when it comes to sex. In this episode, we’re going to explore diversity and variability in sexual behavior frequency. My guest is Tina Fetner, a professor of sociology at McMaster University. She is the author of the new book Sex in Canada: The Who, Why, When, and How of Getting Down Up North. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What percentage of adults engage in masturbation? How many have never done it? How many people had sex in the last year? How often do people usually have sex? Who has more sex: people who are single or married? Why are there more adult virgins today than there used to be? Make sure to check out Tina’s website to learn more and follow her on Instagram @tinafetner. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you start scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll come across some anti-masturbation content. You’re likely to hear that masturbation is bad for your health, that it’s addictive, and that you should just say no to self-pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into what the science says about popular claims regarding the health benefits of semen retention, whether abstaining from masturbation actually boosts testosterone, whether you can really become “addicted” to masturbating, and so much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is titled, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How (and why) have social media influences brought the idea of semen retention to the masses? Are there actually any health benefits to abstaining from ejaculation? Is an orgasm obtained from self-pleasure really any different from an orgasm obtained through partnered sex? Can women really become “addicted” to their vibrators? Is there an objective standard for what constitutes “too much” masturbation? Make sure to check out Eric’s website to learn more and follow him on the socials @drsprankle. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Private Internet Access VPN is the world’s most transparent VPN provider. They let you stay private online by hiding your IP address and encrypting your internet connection. Head over to PIAVPN.com/SexAndPsychology and get an 83% discount! That’s just $2.03/month and you get 4 extra months completely free. Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Human beings have a long and complicated history with masturbation. Although it was originally pursued without care or consequence, self-pleasure eventually came to be seen as a pathway to disease and one of the gravest sins you could commit. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the wacky history of masturbation, which is a timely topic because we’re currently in the midst of a social media fueled war on self-pleasure. I am joined by Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is titled, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Where did the idea of masturbation as a sinful activity originate? What are some of the ways religious leaders have tried to discourage self-pleasure over the years? When did masturbation start to become a public health concern, and why? Why does self-pleasure continue to be a controversial topic to this day? How has the rise of social media coincided with a rise in negative views on masturbation? Make sure to check out Eric’s website to learn more and follow him on the socials @drsprankle. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People today are having less sex compared to generations past, but a greater proportion of the sex we’re having is casual. However, casual sex is something people have a lot of mixed experiences with, which points to a need for better education around it. So that’s what today’s show is all about. We’re going to explore how to set boundaries in casual relationships, the kinds of boundaries that are worth considering, the questions you should be asking yourself before you have casual sex, how to avoid awkwardness, and more. I am joined once again by Gabrielle Kassel. She is a sex and wellness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. Her work has appeared in publications such as Men’s Health, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Self, Women’s Health, and more! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What does it really mean to have “casual” sex anyway? What are the potential positive and negatives of casual sex? How do you know if casual sex is right for you? How do you establish boundaries with a partner you don’t know very well? What might a good model for communicating and maintaining sexual health look like if you’re in a casual relationship? How do you prevent drama in casual relationships? Make sure to check out Gabrielle’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There are literally tens of thousands of different sex toys out there to choose from, so how do you pick the toy that’s right for you? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about where to start when it comes to selecting adult toys and pleasure products, what to look for in terms of optimizing your own health and pleasure, whether it’s worth splurging on luxury toys, and so much more. My guest is Gabrielle Kassel. She is a sex and wellness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. Her work has appeared in publications such as Men’s Health, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Self, Women’s Health, and more! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Why is lube a great starting place for exploring toys? What should people be looking for when it comes to buying a lube that’s going to work for them? What are the different materials that are used to make sex toys, and what should you be looking for? If you’re new to buying vibrators, masturbation sleeves, or anal toys, what do you need to know for picking a good one? Are luxury sex toys worth it? Make sure to check out Gabrielle’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What are men’s and women’s most common sexual problems? And what can we do to address them? That’s what we’re going to be talking about on today’s show. I’m going to pick a urologist’s brain about the biggest sexual difficulties that she sees in her office and what her approach is to helping patients resolve them. Topics we’ll explore include premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, painful sex, and difficulty reaching orgasm. I am joined once again by Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a board-certified, fellowship-trained urologist. Dr. Milhouse practices in Chicago, IL and treats a wide range of adults with sexual difficulties and sexual health concerns. She currently sits on the board of the Chicago Urological Society, and is widely known in the media as “Your Favorite Urologist.” Dr. Milhouse is the star of TLC network’s Dr. Down Below. Some of the questions we discuss include: What would be a sign that someone needs to see a urologist for a sexual difficulty as opposed to another doctor or specialist? How can men delay orgasm and increase sexual stamina? What are some ways to improve erectile function to reduce the risk of erectile difficulties developing? What are some of the most common reasons for painful sex, and what are some potential ways of addressing them? What can you do if you seem to have a hard time reaching orgasm? Make sure to check out Fenwa’s website to learn more and follow her on IG at @DrMilhouse. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Factor’s delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy! No matter your schedule for the week, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietician approved meals delivered right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/sexandpsych50 and use code sexandpsych50 to get 50% off your order. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of men’s biggest sexual concerns is whether their penis is big enough. In fact, nearly half of adult men report dissatisfaction with their size, almost all of whom wish they were larger. This has led a growing number of men to explore what they can do to make their penises bigger, and an entire industry has popped up hoping to capitalize on this. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the many and varied approaches to penile augmentation, including which ones are supported by the science and the potential risks and rewards. My guest is Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a board-certified, fellowship-trained urologist. Dr. Milhouse practices in Chicago, IL and treats a wide range of adults with sexual difficulties and sexual health concerns. She currently sits on the board of the Chicago Urological Society, and is widely known in the media as “Your Favorite Urologist.” Dr. Milhouse is the star of TLC network’s Dr. Down Below. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Do any of the pills that promise to make your penis bigger actually work? Is there any benefit to penile stretching? How can penis rings and pumps help men who are worried about their size? Can dermal filler help to increase penis size? How does it work? If you’re concerned about your penis size, what do you really need to know? Make sure to check out Fenwa’s website to learn more and follow her on IG at @DrMilhouse. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us could benefit from having a little more pleasure in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom. However, we’re not getting that pleasure for many reasons, including the fact that we lead busy lives and just struggle to find time for it. So it’s time to change our mindset around pleasure and to start making it a priority. My guest today likes to say that you should do something that brings you pleasure everyday, so we’re going to explore how to do that. I am joined once again by award-winning sexuality educator Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. She is an assistant professor of health promotion at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Thorpe has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and her work has been featured extensively in the media. In 2023, Buzzfeed listed her as one of the top 20 Black sexologists you should follow. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What is pleasure? What are the benefits of seeking pleasure beyond just feeling good? How can we start to shift our mindset around pleasure and start to prioritize it without feeling guilty? What are ways to be more present during moments of pleasure so that we can really enjoy them? How can we have more pleasurable sex? Make sure to check out Dr. Shemeka’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on Instagram at @DrShemeka. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A surprising amount of sexuality research isn’t very sex-positive, and this is especially true when you look at sex research on minority populations. Historically, most of it has been focused on risks, such as STIs, unintended pregnancies, or risky sexual practices. While there’s certainly value to that work, when it becomes the predominant focus, it really inhibits our understanding of diverse people and sexualities. In today’s show, we’re going to focus on Black women’s sexuality and explore what sex-positive research focused on this population can tell us. My guest is award-winning sexuality educator Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. She is an assistant professor of health promotion at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Thorpe has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and her work has been featured extensively in the media. In 2023, Buzzfeed listed her as one of the top 20 Black sexologists you should follow. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How unbalanced is the study of sexuality when it comes to minority populations? Why is talking about race as a “risk factor” a problematic way of approaching sex research? How do Black women (and men) conceptualize pleasure? How common is sexual pain in Black women, and how do social and racialized expectations and scripts affect how pain is experienced for them? How does sexual fantasy and desire vary across racial and ethnic groups? How can we promote better, more equitable sex education and research? Make sure to check out Dr. Shemeka’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on Instagram at @DrShemeka. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

With Valentine’s Day being this month, love is in the air. So let’s talk about some tips for maintaining happy and healthy loving relationships all year long! In today’s show, we’re revisiting one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, which is my interview with Dr. Terri Orbuch from Episode 73. We’ll talk about what you need to know, whether you’ve been together for a short or long time. We’ll also explore how to know when it’s lust or love, and so much more. Dr. Terri Orbuch is a distinguished professor at Oakland University and a research scientist at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. She is an author, speaker, and therapist known widely in the media as The Love Doctor for giving practical, science-based relationship advice. Her latest book is called “Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships.” Some of the topics we discuss include: How do you know whether you’re really in love with someone? What’s the difference between lust and love? Is there value in the love languages concept? How can individuals make sure their partners know they love them? When is the right time to announce a new relationship? How do we dial down the pressure and make Valentine’s Day feel like fun instead of work? Make sure to check out Terri’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate whether you’re looking for one or not. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What are the keys to sexual and relationship satisfaction? It turns out that some of the most popular ideas out there about what makes for a healthy and happy intimate life just aren’t backed up by the science. So let’s explore what the data actually say when it comes to cultivating satisfying sex lives and relationships. In this show, we’ll answer questions such as whether having more sex will make you happier, whether spontaneous sex is better than planned sex, whether too much closeness inhibits desire, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Amy Muise. She is an Assistant Professor and York Research Chair at York University. She is Director of the Sexual Health and Relationship (SHaRe) Lab. She has published 121 articles and book chapters and has been awarded over $2.9 million dollars in research funding. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Is more sex necessarily better sex? How do people really feel about spontaneous sex and planned sex? Is sex that happens spontaneously actually better? What’s the link between closeness/intimacy and sexual desire? There’s this idea that women are the barometers of relationship satisfaction in heterosexual relationships (“happy wife, happy life”). Is there any truth to this? What are the costs and benefits of making sexual compromises in a relationship? Make sure to check out SHaRe’s website and Instagram to stay up-to-date on their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A growing number of people are living alone by choice—they simply prefer to live on their own. Many of them still have sex and relationships, but only on their own terms. They want freedom from the constraints of relationship labels and expectations, plus the ability to retain their autonomy and enjoy solitude when they want it. These folks are part of a growing movement and identity called “solos.” In today’s show, we’re going to explore what it means to go solo and how to live your best solo life. I am joined once again by Peter McGraw, a business school professor at the University of Colorado Boulder. He hosts the podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, he writes for Single Insights—The Science of Solos, and he hosts The Solo Salon. In 2014, Peter co-authored a book called The Humor Code. His latest book is titled Solo. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the difference between being solo and being single? What are some of the different ways of being solo? Are there certain types of individuals who may be more well-suited to pursuing the solo life? How do solos engage in the process of relationship design? What does that look like? What are some of the keys to being solo and flourishing? Make sure to check out Peter’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Over the last half-century, we’ve seen a dramatic change in people’s living and relationship arrangements. Specifically, more adults are living on their own, and fewer are getting married. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the rapid rise in single living around the world. We’ll take a look at the numbers and explore how attitudes towards singlehood and marriage are evolving. I am joined by Peter McGraw, a business school professor at the University of Colorado Boulder. He hosts the podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, he writes for Single Insights—The Science of Solos, and he hosts The Solo Salon. In 2014, Peter co-authored a book called The Humor Code. His latest book is titled Solo. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How have rates of marriage and single living changed in the US (and across the world) in the last 50 years? Which countries today have the most singles? What factors are propelling more people into singlehood? Why have traditional relationship models fallen out of favor? How much stigma is still attached to being single? Make sure to check out Peter’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Almost everyone has sexual fantasies—and has them often. But most of us have questions about our fantasies, including what they really mean, how to share them with a partner, and how to go about turning them into reality. In this episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of fantasies. Among other things, we’ll discuss what to do when you have shame or trauma connected to your fantasies, how you can use technology to facilitate open communication about fantasies, as well as what you need to know if you’re thinking about acting on your fantasies. I am joined once again by Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What is the difference between a sexual fantasy and a sexual desire? Do fantasies need to be elaborate or “fantastical” in order to count as fantasies? How can we get rid of the shame we may have surrounding our fantasies? What are some ways we can make sure our sexual needs and desires are prioritized? How can a newbie who is interested in threesomes or kink start exploring these fantasies? Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s the sex life you have, and then there’s the sex life you want. So how do you actually get the one that you want? This is something a lot of people struggle with, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to explore tips for changing the relationship we have with ourselves, tips for changing the relationships we have with other people, as well as ways of simply making sex more fun. My guest is Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love. Some of the topics we explore include: What is the “27 things” exercise, and how can it help you to get clarity on what you want from your intimate life? How can we better manage body image issues that are hindering desire for and enjoyment of sex? How can we avoid hopping on the “relationship escalator” with a partner who might not be meeting our needs? What are some ways to make planned sex good sex? How can we bring the fun back into sex? Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A negative cycle starts when one partner in a relationship feels hurt and then says something critical. Then, the other partner feels hurt and responds in kind. This repeats over and over, and the hurt feelings escalate. In the last episode, we talked about why these cycles happen and how to identify them in your relationship. In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to break the negative cycle, including things you should and shouldn’t say in these situations. I am joined once again by Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling Clinic, and Secure Relationship Coaching. Her latest book is titled Secure Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is telling your partner to “calm down” a bad idea in a negative cycle? Although being vulnerable during a fight might sound scary, how can this be helpful in resolving it? What is co-regulation, and how can understanding this concept help to combat negative cycles? How can you avoid the traps that lead us into negative cycles in the first place? How do you repair a relationship after a negative cycle? Make sure to check out Julie’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, partners often find that they’re having the same fights over and over again. The fights are often triggered by something seemingly small, but then they have this way of escalating and turning into bigger conflicts that are wildly unproductive. This relationship pattern is known as a negative cycle. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into why negative cycles happen, how we create these patterns, and how you can start to recognize them. In the next episode, we’ll talk about how to break negative cycles. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling Clinic, and Secure Relationship Coaching. Her latest book is titled Secure Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is it that triggers negative cycles in relationships? What do negative cycles look like or feel like as they’re happening? Which attachment style pairings are most likely to lead to negative cycles? How can you tell the difference between negative cycles and abuse? Make sure to check out Julie’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people want to bring change into their love life, but they feel stuck. They’re ready and eager for change, but they don’t know how to do it or how to get their partner on board. In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss practical tips for changing your relationship. We’re also going to talk about how to drop the societal imperatives that tell us what we should be doing and, instead, learn how to chart your own course. I am joined once again by award-winning author Emily Nagoski. She wrote the New York Times bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. Her latest book is titled Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: If you’re ready for a change but your partner isn’t, how do you navigate that? How can partners work together to create and maintain a sexual connection that lasts? What are some new ways of exploring erotic pleasures with a partner? What is the “magic trick” for accessing ecstasy, and how can we apply it to our sex lives? Make sure to check out Emily’s website to find out more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When a relationship is new, the sex usually comes pretty easy. However, as the years go by, partners often find that their sexual connection declines. This doesn’t have to happen, though. There are science-backed ways of creating and maintaining a sexual connection that lasts. In this episode, we’re going to explore the three characteristics of relationships that sustain intimacy, how to cultivate lust in long-term relationships, and much more. I am joined by award-winning author Emily Nagoski. She wrote the New York Times bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. Her latest book is titled Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What do people actually want from sex, and why is that important to think about? Why is sexual novelty alone not quite enough to cultivate a strong connection? How is pleasure different from desire? How can creating an “emotional floorplan” make it easier for people to get into a lustful headspace? Make sure to check out Emily’s website to find out more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Celebrate the progress you’ve already made with BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

New year, new sex life. The transition between years is always a good time to stop and reflect, and that includes thinking about your intimate life. How are things going? Are you getting what you want? Does it feel like something is missing? Depending on how you answered these questions, it might be time for a sex plan. We identify our goals and plan a lot of things in our lives, but we often don’t approach sex with that same intentionality. For today’s show, we’re revisiting one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, which is my interview with Dr. Juliana Hauser from episode 155. Let’s make a sex plan! Juliana Hauser is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some practical things you can do to develop a greater sense of sexual empowerment? How can resolutions to boost physical and mental health enhance sexual performance and satisfaction? How can you introduce more novelty into your sex life? What resolutions can help someone be more present during sex? What is a sex plan, and how can making one benefit you and your relationship(s)? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com and follow @drjulianahauser on IG. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“The Five Love Languages” is a wildly popular, bestselling book that came out just over 30 years ago. Since its arrival, the love languages have become a massive cultural phenomenon. However, despite enormous popularity, there’s a surprising lack of scientific backing for the concept. In fact, research suggests that the key principles and ideas behind the love languages just don’t hold up. So is this still a useful framework for understanding love? Let’s talk about it. My guests today are Drs. Amy Muise and Emily Impett. Dr. Muise is an assistant professor and York Research Chair at York University. She is director of the Sexual Health and Relationship (SHaRe) Lab. Dr. Impett is a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and director of the Relationships and Well-Being lab. Amy and Emily have been close collaborators for nearly 14 years and they have published over 60 papers together on sexuality and relationships! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What are the five love languages? What’s the problem with claiming that there are only five languages to communicate love? Is there any evidence supporting the idea that people who speak their partner’s love language are happier in relationships? Are there more scientifically sound ways of understanding love than the love languages? Is it okay to still like the love languages idea even if the data don’t support it? Make sure to check out the Instagram pages for Amy and Emily’s labs, @share.research and @utmrawlab. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. It’s a new year, and I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most popular tropes that you’re bound to encounter in writings about human sexuality is that men are simple, while women are complex. There’s a pervasive belief out there that sex is just easy for men in general because they’re always in the mood and sex is mostly a physical (not emotional) thing for them. The reality of male sexuality, however, is far more complicated, and we’re not doing anyone any favors by oversimplifying it. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into common myths about male sexuality. I am joined once again by Cam Fraser, who is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is the idea of male sexuality as “simple” a myth? How do beauty standards affect men, and what are the implications of this for sex, dating, and relationships? What do men who are anxious about their penis size need to know? Are men always supposed to be turned on and ready for sex? To what degree is sex emotional vs. physical for men? You can visit Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of men feel insecure about their bodies and sexual performance despite the fact that they fall clearly within the normal range. It’s easy for them to feel like there’s something wrong when they’ve never really been taught what “normal” even means. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss common things people get wrong about men’s bodies and how penises function, as well as things that men and their partners should know when it comes to sexual pleasure. I am joined by Cam Fraser, who is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Some of the topics we explore include: Is an erection always a sign of sexual arousal and interest? Are orgasm and ejaculation one and the same, or are they different things? Can men experience multiple orgasms? What do men need to know about sex toys and prostate stimulation? What does it really mean to have premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction? You can visit Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. It’s a new year, and I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Every time a new year rolls around, people start making resolutions for self-improvement. As you start to think about your own resolutions, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of resolutions, you can address problem areas in the bedroom, rekindle the spark, and start to enjoy the best sex of your life! For today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, my interview with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, which appeared back in episode 67. Dr. Jess is a Toronto-based sexologist, author, speaker, and television personality. She is host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast and is the resident sexologist at Astroglide. In our original conversation, Jess and I spoke about how to keep the sexual spark alive all year long. Some of the topics we discuss include: How can you get more comfortable being vocal in bed? How can you suggest trying something new with your partner? Why is it important to expand your definition of sex? How can you incorporate more touch into daily life? What should you think about resolving to do (or not do) in your sex life in the new year? To learn more, check out Jess’s website and follow her on Instagram at @sexwithdrjess. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2351-lehmiller Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.