Real Talk with Rachael Podcast

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with author John Eldredge about his new book "Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times." John is a bestselling author and counselor. He is also president of Wild at Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God and recover their own hearts in God's love. John and his wife, Stasi, live near Colorado Springs, Colorado. Key Points from Our Conversation: Most people don't think of going through a pandemic as trauma, but it is. It's a global trauma that is triggering past unaddressed personal traumas. When you are facing a stressful time, you have to tap into your reserves. But at some point, you have to replenish those reserves. We need to address our soul needs so we can have strength for the next challenge. Going through trauma doesn't make you tougher for the next trauma; it sensitizes you. When a past trauma is triggered, it will likely show up first emotionally. You may notice different feelings and wonder why they're happening. The good news is acknowledging those feelings moves us toward healing. Don't be discouraged. Practice awareness, listen to your heart, and work through it. Emotions are the voice of your heart - welcome them. Suppressing emotions is exhausting. If you want to live a freer life, let them out. Practical soul care looks like moving your body, going outside, and getting off your phone and away from the news. If you are paralyzed by anxiety or numb to your emotions, seek professional care to help you process them in a healthy way. Chronic disappointments accumulate grief. Name and write down your disappointments and recognize them as losses. Acknowledge that those things matter. It doesn't have to be a long process. God is able to give our souls supernatural strength and resilience and it's readily available. The soul is healed through union with God. All resilience, well-being, perspective, and joy comes through our union with Jesus. There are 2 ways to chase resilience – training programs or cultivating union with Jesus and allowing Him to heal you. If you create the space, God will meet you there. One of the simplest things a human soul can do is love God. There are 3 layers of our being - the shallows, the midlands, and the depths. Most of us live in the shallows which come with a myriad of distractions throughout our day. The midlands are where your hopes, dreams, longings, and heartaches are. The depth is where love dwells and where God lives. If you want to commune with Him, you have to ignore the distractions of the shallow and surrender to Him the midlands. Find a place of love in your heart. We don't have to look far to find the presence of God. When we're depleted, we're vulnerable to our enemy. People are giving up on God, but that's not you. Your enemy is trying to get you to deconstruct. Instead of pulling away from God move toward Him. He is the only safe place in a stormy world. Resources Mentioned: Ep. 63: Get Your Life Back with John Eldredge Talk Therapy: Process & Pray Through 2020 American Association of Christian Counselors One Minute Pause app Let's Get Real Practical: Ask these questions and reflect: What disappointments have I experienced through this pandemic? What was lost in the last few years? Have you addressed the loss or numbed it? God, what do You want to redeem? Connect with John: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This is the first episode in a new mini-series all about hard conversations. This week I'm talking about the real reasons we avoid hard conversations. Contrary to what we lead ourselves to believe, we are not always taking the higher road by not saying anything. Having healthy, hard conversations is taking the road less traveled and your relationships will thank you for doing so. Here are just a FEW of the reasons I believe we avoid them: They require things we are afraid to give: vulnerability, humility, forgiveness, responsibility, boundaries A healthy hard conversation requires us to self-reflect. We look for quick fixes. A hard conversation doesn't offer an easy out. The easy way out looks like gossiping about the situation or person but never bringing it to their direct attention. It also can look like harboring bitterness, resentment, or purposefully distancing yourself. But sweeping things under the rug ruin not only our relationship in the long run but also any other new relationships that come in because of unresolved conflict. Conversation Challenge: What are you afraid of when you think of having a hard conversation? Take time to self-reflect and see what you can take personal responsibility for this week. "God, show me any fears or thoughts not from you about having hard conversations." Resource mentioned: Communication guide Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

REBROADCAST: This week I've really felt God urging me to tell you this - you have the authority to stand your ground, especially in the territories God has entrusted you with. Through the power of Christ, you can tell the enemy that he cannot take any more territory that has not been given to him. What is a territory that the enemy has been messing with? I'm standing with you in prayer! Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with author Becky Thompson. Not only is Becky a bestselling author, but she's also the creator of the Midnight Mom Devotional community gathering more than one million moms in nightly prayer. She has become a voice for modern Christian womanhood, speaking about the struggle of balancing life as a wife, mother, and daughter of God. Becky lives in Oklahoma with her husband, Jared, and their three children. Key Points from Our Conversation: The Holy Spirit is a co-equal member of the trinity. If the Holy Spirit shows up, it should stir in our hearts the same type of adoration and awe as Jesus walking into the room. People are hesitant about engaging with the Holy Spirit because others have expressions that seem radical when God comes close. "Our expectations do not confine God." We think surrendering to the Holy Spirit means we'll lose control, but we're actually in more control when we allow the God who knows all things and loves us to lead us. When we accept the Holy Spirit's invitation to partner with Him, we get to know Him better and learn to love Him in a way that we can only understand when He guides us. This is what a life awakened to His spirit looks like. As we grow and mature, we look around and ask how the world around us needs us to know God as deeply and personally as we can. How can the people around us experience God's love through what we know of Him to be true? "The gifts of the Holy Spirit are given to us so He can move through us." It's our responsibility to learn how to use them so the body can be whole and can function in its fullness. You already know the Holy Spirit if you know Jesus - He's the one that bought you into the relationship. The Holy Spirit is how Jesus comes close to us. It's through Him we experience God. Let's Get Real Practical: What comes up for you when we discuss the topic of the Holy Spirit? Be honest. Write your answer down. What do you want to come up when you think of the Holy Spirit? Connect with Becky: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This month I've been doing a series all about burnout. I interviewed author and therapist Dr. Amy O'Hana about this topic earlier this month. You can listen to that episode here. I am using her book for this series, and it's called "Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You." We are wrapping up the third area where burnout shows up in our lives and that is loss of meaning. In this episode, I walk you through a timeline activity and ask you these 2 important questions: Which of these three signs that we discussed burnout are present in your life today? How can you practice being a human being rather than a human doing? Resource mentioned: Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

We are in a series all about burnout. I interviewed author and therapist Dr. Amy O'Hana about this topic, and am using her book for this series called "Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You." This week we are diving into emotional exhaustion. Dr. O'Hana says, "Once a loving and compassionate person, you are now devoid of feeling. When you experience emotional exhaustion, you can become cynical and sarcastic. This style of relating and communication becomes a coping mechanism to protect your heart from holding more pain than it was intended to hold." Today, I want to discuss E.I., which stands for Emotional Intelligence. High E.I. means you can: Recognize your feelings and communicate them to others in the moment Manage your intense emotions Pay attention to the emotions of others Understand the emotional climate of a meeting, workplace, or environment and manage it appropriately De-escalate situations that are emotionally out of control If you don't feel you have a high EI, you are not alone. But the good news is that EI is not something you are born with; rather, it can be developed! Here are a few tips Dr. O'Hana shares to help develop emotional intelligence: Learn the names of emotions and begin to name them in your own experience, such as "I feel disappointed." I like to use an emotion wheel for this. When experiencing intense emotions, such as anger or fear, practice a time out. Find a place to be alone and take deep breaths until you can communicate your emotions respectfully and safely. Practice identifying and reflecting other people's emotions. If a situation feels tense, try to identify how people are feeling and then respond to that feeling rather than to their behavior. Now, let's pause to process: How is your emotional intelligence? Rate it on a scale of 1-10, God, what are you saying to me today about turning on my emotions? Resource mentioned: Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I'm chatting with Dr. Amy O'Hana about her book Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You. Dr. Amy O'Hana is a licensed professional counselor in Oregon and an Approved Clinical Supervisor. She is a full-time professor of clinical mental health counseling at the University of Western States in Portland, OR, has been a full-time counselor educator for 18 years, manages her own private practice, and has been the director of two counseling training clinics. Amy's research interests are human potential and motivation, erotic intelligence (which is more about spirituality than sexuality), and integrative approaches in psychotherapy (spirit-body-mind). She is the author of two published books, When Your Child is Grieving: God's Hope and Wisdom for the Journey Toward Healing and Beyond Burnout: What To Do When Your Work Isn't Working For You. She writes every day – whether fiction and non-fiction, poetry, journaling, letters, or emails. When not writing, counseling or teaching, you can find Amy working on her fixer-upper, playing with her French bulldog Sunny, kayaking, or exploring the mountains of Central Oregon. Key Points from Our Conversation: Burnout is essentially a disconnection. It's a sense of dysregulated wholeness meaning you're fragmented in some way and disconnected from your purpose. 3 characteristics of burnout - a sense of emotional exhaustion, physical exhaustion, and loss of meaning Loss of meaning can result in unethical behavior that seems out of character with the person engaged in it. They have become so disconnected from themselves that they no longer perceive things rationally. It's easy to judge, but we can all become so exhausted that we disconnect from ourselves. Work is not a vocation. Stay-at-home moms experience burn out too. Being overbooked and burnt out can occur at the same time. When you're overbooked, you'll feel better once you change the environment. Burnout requires a process of reconnection. You can know you're burnt out if you notice changes on 3 levels - you're becoming more cynical, you notice weight gain or become more irritable, and you begin asking existential spiritual questions 5 intentions of burnout resolution - practice stillness so God can restore your soul. Step into the stillness of presence and connection. Seek connection with God, yourself, and work. Cultivate awareness of who you are, where you are, and where you want to be. Focus on who you are to be, not what you are to do. Move past doing to being by being intentional about fully connecting with the moment you're in instead of focusing on the end goal. When you notice a friend experiencing burnout, find a way to serve them. They may not even realize they're experiencing it, but it's serious. Give them grace while they navigate their disconnection. If you're experiencing burnout, the first step is acknowledging it. Slow down and understand it's a crisis, then attend to it. Let's Get Real Practical: Listen to the Talk Therapy Series about burnout Be present in the moment. Insert the "to be" in your to-do list. Connect with Amy: website | Instagram Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

We are in a series all about burnout. Last week we looked at the root cause of burnout. This week we are diving into one of the three areas where burnout shows up in our lives. The first one we tend to notice is physical exhaustion. One of the first indicators of chronic stress and burnout is the development of physical health problems. In her book, Dr. O'Hana lists a few key areas to consider when nourishing your physical body if you are burned out: Rest- practice good sleep hygiene. Nutrition - Simply put, eat to fuel your body. Movement - What kind of movement restores you? Touch - Touch is important in bonding and receiving love. Communion - Dr. Amy says "Receiving food and drink into your physical body is a tangible symbol of receiving Jesus into your being." Ask yourself these questions today: How is your heart? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "I'm great" to 10 being "I'm already burnt out", where do you fall? Be honest. If anything above a 5, please get help. Tell a friend, family member, or counselor. Ask God what he's saying to you today about caring for your physical body. Resource mentioned: Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week we're starting a new series all about burnout. The Lord put this topic on my heart to process in these Talk Therapy sessions for a few reasons. First, both my husband and I have experienced it at different seasons and it almost took us off track of our callings. Second, because I counsel so many people who suffer from it. Third, I am tired of the enemy taking territory in an area that could be avoided. Let's start by bringing some facts about burnout into the light: The term "burnout" originated in the 1970s by psychoanalyst Dr. Herbert Freudenberger. While supervising counselors who work with people dealing with addiction, he noticed symptoms of emotional and physical fatigue that were imparting their work. World Health Organization (WHO) included "burn-out" in the eleventh edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) in 2019. This means burnout is serious! Symptoms of burnout mirror depression. But Dr. O'Hana says that burnout's bottom line is disconnection from everything that is important to you, including your very heart and soul. "When we are disconnected, we begin to equate our identity with achievement and performance rather than accepting and loving ourselves as the people God created us to be." "Self-care is not a luxury; it is an ethical priority." Now, let's pause to process: How is your heart? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "I'm great" to 10 meaning "I'm already burnt out", where do you fall? Be honest. If anything above a 5, please get help. Tell a friend, family member, or counselor. God, what are you saying to me today? Resource mentioned: Beyond Burnout: What to Do When Your Work Isn't Working for You Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I'm talking to mother and daughter Dr. Helen McIntosh and Blythe Daniel, authors of Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters. Blythe Daniel is an author, literary agent, and marketer with 25 years of experience in media and publishing. She has written for Focus on the Family, Proverbs 31 Ministries, and Christian Retailing. She conducts blog, podcast, and publicity campaigns and helps authors publish their books. She lives in Colorado with her husband and children.​ Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author. Her work has appeared in several national outlets including Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Dalton, Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children, including Blythe McIntosh Daniel, and are grandparents five times over. Key Points from Our Conversation: Moms often do the hard work without getting a thank you. Speaking encouraging words over a mom does something inside her heart and inside our hearts. If we want appreciation from our kids, we need to start by encouraging them. Being the initiator allows our kids to say kind things back to us. When we're in a hard relationship we tend to blame the other person, but Matthew 7 reminds us to focus on the issues in our own hearts. If you have a broken relationship with your mother, remember that words bring life and death. Commit yourself to only speaking words of life. Instead of telling our children what they should be doing, we can ask them if this is an area they'd like us to speak into. Honor and be humble before the other person. Even if we get it wrong, we can ask for forgiveness. When we overhelp, it implies we think our child cannot do something well. God designed us in a way that the relationship between child and mother is foundational. You can honor a mother who didn't necessarily earn it by separating the mess from the relationship and being a blessing builder. Don't get so overwhelmed by your yeses that you can't be focused and intentional during the season while the kids are in your house. God will meet the desires of our hearts when we sacrifice for our kids. You don't have to be perfect. You're not alone in feeling underappreciated or overwhelmed. You're making a difference and you're doing well. If you feel discouraged, take it to the Lord. He'll show you what the deeper issue is. Resources Mentioned: Ep.31: Restoring the hearts of mothers & daughters {with Blythe Daniel & Helen McIntosh} Let's Get Real Practical: Grieve the lack of a relationship with your mom if you didn't have it and consider seeing a therapist to help you process those wounds. Connect with Blythe: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Helen: website | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

When my family climbed the Guadalupe Peak earlier this year, I noticed many parallels to real life. In order to stay consistent you must: Commit to do it. We met people along the way who didn't prepare for the terrain (one woman was in heels), so they had to turn back. Have community. Have a few people around you that won't let you quit. On both that physical mountain and my life mountains, that's my husband. I would have quit many things a long time ago if it wasn't for him. Celebrate. Enjoy the views at every turn. The peak was beautiful but each switchback had an equally as breathtaking view. Enjoy the journey. My friends, the only way I have accomplished anything worthwhile in my life is by showing up consistently. It's not always easy or fun. I've wanted to quit many times. Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

I will never forget the moment in my journey to become a therapist when I was seeing my own therapist. I was processing a traumatic memory from my childhood and after I had shared everything I could remember she said, "Where is Jesus in this moment?" For the first time, I was able to see Jesus there with me. Weeping with me. Protecting me in ways I didn't even ask Him to. And walking me out of that dark situation. Jesus has since healed my heart from that time in my life, but it was a process. We can't talk about Jesus and therapy without bringing up the most obvious point about Him - He is a Healer. We can read countless stories in the Bible about when He healed in a moment. It rarely came at the time or way they might have imagined but one touch from Him and the people were never the same again. The question I feel Jesus asking us today comes from John 5:6, "When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, "Would you like to get well?" I'm not talking about physical healing today, though I do believe Jesus still heals our bodies. Do you want to be well in your heart? Are you ready to process that pain? Jesus is inviting you into that healing today. When Jesus died on the cross and rose again, He sent us the Holy Spirit to be our helper and comforter. With the help of the Holy Spirit, your journey to wholeness in your mind, soul, body, and spirit can begin today. Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with author Dominic Done about his latest book Your Longing Has a Name. Dominic Done is the founder of Pursuing Faith and author of When Faith Fails. With a master's in theology from the University of Oxford, he has served as a pastor in Portland, Oregon; North Carolina; and Hawaii. Dominic has also taught English for companies in Europe, lectured in theology and history at various Christian colleges, worked as a radio DJ, and lived as a missionary in Vanuatu and Mexico. Key Points from Our Conversation: In the Bible, flourishing is directly related to participation in life with God. Something is happening in our culture on a soul level that is broken. We are languishing. We are seeking truth and purpose and as Christians, we have the opportunity to speak into those souls. "What lies beneath languishing is longing." Society tends to think of the soul as what we become when our bodies die, but scripture says that the soul is the entirety of our being that longs for God. A flourishing soul is in an intimate relationship with Him. Healing begins spiritually, mentally, and physically by taking a pause to breathe deeply. Something happens in the Lord's presence that renews our souls. He restores our breath. It's difficult to receive soul rest because we are inundated with so many distractions. God wants us to embody a deep soul rest - a shalom. "The deeper you breathe, the more you'll heal." Our technology is giving us neuro overload. We cannot process information as quickly as it's being given to us. We have to build into our lives the spiritual practice of setting boundaries with our phones so that our souls can heal. When we put on a mask as a means to defend ourselves, it creates a disconnect within us between our soul and our role. In time, our soul suffocates. We must practice living a life without walls. That means confronting the things that are hindering us in order to create synchronicity with the soul. Our "shadow side" is the part of us that remains broken, but a shadow is proof of substance. To confront our shadows we can't just confess the sin, we need to determine why we struggle with the sin to begin with. Self-control isn't just resisting harmful things, it's addressing the deeper longing that motivates the behavior. Releasing your burdens to God needs to be a daily practice, but as you give Him your cares and burdens, He'll restore your soul. Resources Mentioned: Your Longing Has a Name When Faith Fails The Care and Counsel Bible Let's Get Real Practical: In what area of your life do you need to return to the Lord so He can refill you? Connect with Dominic: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

So far we have discussed how Jesus felt and how He often retreated. This week we are looking at how He asked great questions. I've been told much of my life that I ask great questions. As a counselor and podcast host, much of my days are spent asking questions. I've been asked before how I come up with such good questions. The answer is simple - I listen. Being a good listener is crucial if you want to be a great communicator. Jesus was and is the best listener. We see all throughout the Bible examples of times when Jesus asked great questions, but those came from Him listening to what the person was really saying. Jesus asked mostly open-ended questions. Open-ended implies we want to not only help you reach your own conclusion, but also want to have a conversation with you. Jesus wants to have a conversation with you. He wants to listen to your frustrations. Questions for this week: Do you trust Jesus? It's hard to follow someone we don't trust. What question is He asking YOU? Write it down. Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This month our Talk Therapy series focus is on Jesus and therapy. Why Jesus and therapy? Because nothing changes without Him. He shows me things only He can see. He takes us places only He knows to go. Last week, we discussed how Jesus felt. Jesus would often retreat to a quiet place to be alone and pray. This week we are looking at how and why He retreated. We live in a world that does not give us natural pauses to retreat so we must be intentional about this practice. I think Jesus was always retreating not just for the rest, but to hear His Father. He had many people giving their opinions on where He should go and what He should do next. He had to be intentional about aligning his mission, and values with the Father. We must first retreat to be refueled before we can charge into what God has in store for us. But how do we know what He wants us to do? We follow the values He has planted in our hearts. Be sure to download the values worksheet and use it to retreat this week. Resources mentioned: Retreat in Order to Advance Values Worksheet Counseling with Rachael Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Atheist-turned-Christian, Lee Strobel about his documentary The Case for Heaven. Lee is the former award-winning legal editor of The Chicago Tribune and a New York Times best-selling author of more than forty books and curricula that have sold fourteen million copies in total. He currently serves as Founding Director of the Lee Strobel Center for Evangelism and Applied Apologetics at Colorado Christian University. In 2017, Lee's spiritual journey was depicted in an award-winning motion picture, The Case for Christ, which showed in theaters around the world. Lee and his wife, Leslie, have been married for forty-eight years. Their daughter, Alison, is a novelist and homeschooling expert (www.goodschooling.net), and their son, Kyle, is a professor of spiritual theology at the Talbot School of Theology at Biola University. Key Points from Our Conversation: If you're in a relationship with an unbeliever, be sure to build your relationship with God while maintaining the relationship with your spouse. It's also vital to have a good spiritual mentor to help guide you. Lee wrote The Case for Heaven after a near-death experience and through his research found that the evidence shows our souls live on after death. There are two aspects of the afterlife - the intermediate state when the soul leaves the body and lives on with the Lord or apart from Him and the second state when we are reunited with our resurrected bodies and spend eternity in physical heaven or hell. The research about near-death experiences shows that the commonalities are consistent with Christian theology. There are two common misconceptions about hell - it's not a place of fire and brimstone, that's just a metaphor to indicate it's the worst place to be. There also seems to be different degrees of hell, which would be consistent with the justice of God. God doesn't send people to hell, He honors their free will choice to remain separated from Him. There is not enough research to support loved ones being able to contact us after they pass. The Bible teaches there is a chasm between the living and the dead and it's an area we're warned not to get involved with. You will never regret being courageous for Christ. Resources Mentioned: The Case for Heaven movie The Case for Heaven book The Case for Heaven Young Readers Edition The Case for Heaven and Hell curriculum Why Believe in Heaven The Case for Christ The Case for Grace Spiritual Mismatch American Association of Christian Counselors Counseling with Rachael Let's Get Real Practical: If you're wrestling with your faith, you're not alone. Dig into these questions this week - What do I believe about Jesus, God, and heaven? Then take time to do the research. Get in the Word and allow yourself space to wrestle. If you need someone to talk to, get into Christian counseling. Connect with Lee: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This month our Talk Therapy series focus is on Jesus and therapy. Why Jesus and therapy? Because nothing changes without Him. He shows me things only He can see. He takes us places only He knows to go. When you partner with both Jesus and therapy, freedom comes in ways you never dreamed possible. In this first episode of the series, I'm talking about how Jesus felt. THREE TAKEAWAYS: It's OK and healthy to feel. Jesus did! Jesus cares about your feelings (Mary) Jesus will weep with you. Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Revelation Wellness Director of Culture, Heather Johnson. Heather is a beloved daughter of the King, wife to Charles, and momma to 3 amazing young people. She loves moving her body and walking with Jesus. She is always learning and changing and being transformed by the Word of God. Heather's greatest passion is to love God, His people, and empower people to step into their divine destinies. Key Points from Our Conversation: If you want to love people more, get closer to the Father. Loving people has to first come from being loved by Him. When we run out of love to give, we need God's love to replenish us. "We're His be-loved, not His do-loved." We were created to do good works, but if we don't sit at His feet, we'll wear ourselves out. Sit with God and allow Him to minister to you. It's intimate, personal, and vulnerable, but He is safe. It's more challenging than checking off boxes. Joy is not situational, joy is the atmosphere of the kingdom. It comes through the Spirit, not circumstances. You learn to truth through seasons of sorrow and loss. We don't rewrite our theology based on our circumstances, we bring our circumstances to the Lord because He is good. Finding joy in hard seasons requires pressing in and anchoring yourself to God's Word and His faithfulness. It's daily work of refusing to not trust God. A relationship with Jesus is deeply personal. He's not found in the walls of a church, He's in the places you lay your heart before Him. Spend time being still and present with Him. It's a discipline. Living well doesn't happen accidentally, it's born from intentional heart checks. Be corrected and challenged by God's Word. Bring the hidden things to the light and be healed. That is our testimony. Resources Mentioned: Revelation Wellness Breath Prayer video Let's Get Real Practical: This week try practicing breath prayer for 2 minutes and do frequent check-ins on your heart. Be honest with God and yourself and allow Him to heal you. Connect with Heather: Instagram Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

Accountability is scary. It feels like we are giving up control because we are. Accountability takes humility because we have to confess our weaknesses. We have to admit we are prone to sin and fall into temptation. The enemy knows if he can get us to wander alone, we are a much easier target to eliminate. We avoid wandering alone by being in community and then letting people really see us. Why accountability matters: Because God loves us too much to let us get caught up in something we could have avoided. We have to do better in this area and it starts in our own home. What could be different: You could walk in your calling but more importantly, you could live free. Things that are in the dark are the enemy's playground. It's time to kick him out. Accountability isn't just scary…it makes us sharper! Growth Resource: How People Grow by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Tested and Approved: 21 Lessons for Life and Ministry by Tom Lane Lisa Whittle Jesus Over Everything and The Hard Good Weekly grow challenge Ask God to show you an area He wants you to submit to accountability Let your friends or family in and be sure to let them know how big of a deal it is that you are letting them in so they don't take it lightly. Unsubscribe or unfollow anything tempting you Set a date (if it's physical accountability) register for a race, etc Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

Physical growth is usually the first place our mind goes to when we think about self-improvement. There are enough physical challenges and exercise programs on the market to last you all year. But today, I want to challenge how we view and approach physical growth. For most women, we view physical growth through the lens of shrinking. Dream with me for a moment about physical growth that doesn't focus on shrinking, rather, it focuses on what our body is capable of doing when submitting it to God. Why physical strength matters: If you don't feel well, it affects every area of your life. What could be different: More energy, excitement, confidence, activities of daily living, stronger mindset Growth Resource: How People Grow by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Revelation Wellness BackBodyClinic.com Weekly grow challenge: Ask God how He wants to partner with you to grow physically. Maybe it's doing something you've never done before. Or perhaps giving up something you know isn't nourishing your body (excess sugar or alcohol). Do some research on a physical challenge that excites and challenges you. Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with my friend, Sandy Jobe. Sandy is a homemaker who loves to laugh and uses baking as a form of stress release. She is known for her quick wit, bubbly personality, and ability to brighten someone's day with a homemade treat. She's the author of a cookbook titled Hearts Gather Here: Making Memories Around the Table - it's full of great recipes and inspiring family stories. Sandy is also the Women's Ministries Care Pastor at Gateway Church in Southlake, TX. She and her husband Mark have 3 grown and married children and 5 grandsons. Key Points from Our Conversation: Having a healthy marriage takes two people. That means you have you do your part and allow the Lord to work on your husband. It's easier to blame others instead of owning our mistakes. Pray for your spouse. What we get frustrated by most with them is likely something we wrestle with ourselves. Having a community you can be vulnerable with about your marriage and family struggles is key because it's easy to look at social media and believe the lie everyone's marriage is perfect except yours. Comparison is crippling. If you want to change your marriage, be the change agent. Look for practical ways to serve one another. The most common problems in marriage arise over unmet unexpressed expectations. Continue to invest in your marriage by utilizing tools like podcasts, marriage conferences, and books. No matter what season you're in, be grateful. Pray about everything - and everything means every little thing. Nothing is too small to bring to God. There is great value in taking time for the table. It creates an opportunity to look your loved ones in the eyes and connect with them. If your home is hectic and chaotic, you need to look at your own soul. We need to be responders, not reactors. If you want something to change, consider changing your verbiage. Ask God what's in your heart that caused you to respond poorly. Step back and ask what your family needs. Let's Get Real Practical: What are the little things you haven't considered praying about? Commit to praying over those things this week. Don't discount anything. Connect with Sandy: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

Welcome to the second episode in the Growth Series! We serve a God of growth. When God says grow, nothing we do will stop it from happening. Don't be mistaken, even when we don't SEE the growth, it is happening. If you feel stuck or would love to see growth in different areas of your life, this series is for you. Each week we are focusing on an area of growth. You will notice EVERY week includes spiritual growth because, without it, nothing in our lives will grow. This week's topic is Emotional Growth. Why emotional growth matters: Last week we discussed how our thoughts affect feelings and feelings (or emotions) affect behaviors. Most people want to skip the feelings part. Emotions are neither good nor bad, rather, they are telling us what is happening in our hearts. Everyone has emotions but we all view and process them differently. According to Gottman Emotion Coaching, there are 7 basic emotions we all share: sadness, anger, disgust, contempt, fear, surprise, and happiness. What could be different if you grew strong emotionally: You would have more self-control. You would be able to communicate more clearly. You would feel less like a ticking time bomb or volcano ready to erupt. You would form a healthy relationship with your emotions so instead of controlling you, they would help you. God Growth: Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." TWO things we see here: It's okay to feel angry, just don't act out in it. Next, RESOLVE it. If you can't process right away because you are too upset, that's okay. But don't wake up the next day and pretend nothing happened. It's still there. Be brave enough to deal with it. Growth Resources: How People Grow by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman The emotion wheel Weekly grow challenge: Let's pause for a moment to see your response to two of these basic emotions: When was the last time you remember feeling sad? Did you allow yourself to feel it? Did you tell anyone you felt it (in other words, did you express it)? When was the last time you felt happy? Did you express it? Sometimes when we train ourselves to not feel sad or uncomfortable emotions, we also shut down feeling happy emotions. Pay attention to your emotions and what you do with them when they come up. Do you feel and express? Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

Welcome to The first episode in the Growth Series. We serve a God of growth. Just look all around you. From the beautiful trees and flowers to human beings. When God says grow, nothing we do will stop it from happening. Don't be mistaken, even when we don't SEE the growth, it is happening. If you feel stuck or would love to see growth in different areas of your life, this series is for you. Each week we will focus on an area of growth. You will notice EVERY week includes spiritual growth because, without it, nothing in our lives will grow. This week's topic is mindset growth. Why it matters: Thoughts, feelings, behaviors. Change your mind, change your life. What could be different if your mindset grew: You could break barriers. God Growth: 2 Corinthians 10:5, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Growth Resource: How People Grow by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer Weekly grow challenge: Pay attention to your thoughts. Notice themes. Practice taking them captive. Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm speaking with author Sarah Philpott about her new book The Growing Season: A Year of Down-on-the-Farm Devotions. Sarah is the ECPA Award-nominated author of Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss. On her website, she writes about her family, life on a cattle farm in the South, and learning to cherish God's provisions in joy and sorrow. Also, she doesn't share desserts. Key Points from Our Conversation: "Fallow ground" is soil that has been left unplanted to rest and regenerate. Without rest, the soil loses its nutrients and cannot grow crops. We also need rest in our spiritual lives to fill our souls so that we can pour into others. Resting well requires pruning things out of our lives in different seasons. Take inventory of what you've committed to and eliminate the things that don't fit your priorities right now. "To grow a little, you've got to cut a little." Remember that everything is a season. In busy seasons, you may have to prune "good" things. Choose what you can do well and give yourself grace. No one is doing it all. You'll know you're growing spiritually when the attributes of the fruit of the Spirit come more naturally to you. Savor the "summer" seasons in your life when everything is blooming. We feel God's presence when we witness how He designed everything in nature to work in harmony. Fall is a harvest season that allows you to rejoice in the fruits of your labor. Let's Get Real Practical: Have you ever found yourself frustrated in an area of your life over and over? I have good news for you - the time for growth is here. Some of you might need to plant new seeds, others will see seeds they've been watering finally sprout. Ask God these two questions this week: What area do You want to grow in my life this month? What responsibility do I have for that growth? Then be sure to write down what He says to you. Connect with Sarah: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week our topic is your choice. As I prayed about what the final relationship focus should be, of course, things that were relevant to me came to mind, like kids and extended family members. However, I know many of you listening may not be able to relate to those, so I felt the holy spirit say, "Ask them what relationship I want to restore." And I sense that He is going to ask you to bring up a hard relationship. You know, the one you want to avoid. Take a moment to pause and ask God, "What relationship are you bringing up today?" Think about that person, or group of people, as you read this month's key verse from 1 Corinthians 13:4: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." The part of this verse that stuck out to me as being relevant to relationships for today's episode is that love is not resentful. Resentment is a sneaky weed that lodges itself into the soil of our hearts without us even knowing it. Sometimes we feel resentment towards someone and we don't have a solid reason as to why. It likely started with a small weed, something you thought you could just overlook, but that weed has gotten watered every time that person did or said something that struck the same resentment cord. Before we know it, that relationship is being choked by resentment and will eventually die. To check for resentment in your relationships, ask these questions: What comes up immediately when I think of this person? If your heart rate speeds up and you get a knot in your stomach (or physical response to a psychological problem) then you might have a root of resentment. Can you talk about it? If you can't talk about it, it owns you. The fix for resentment: Talk about it. To God, to trusted friends (not gossip), to a therapist, and finally to the person. Bless and release (day by day) Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

The February series we are doing is all about restoring relationships. Last week we chatted about restoring your marriage. If you missed it, please go back and tune in. This week our topic is friendships. Healthy friendships are a treasure. If you find one, you need to hang on to it. But what about when friendships end? It leaves us hurt, raw, vulnerable, and if we aren't careful, bitter. "If you can't talk about it, it owns you." Let's talk about friendship today so past wounds don't own us. This month's key verse for these episodes is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Think about friendship as you read it: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." Another verse I love when it comes to healthy friendships is Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Two questions to ask about friendship - Do I leave my time with this friend feeling closer to them? Does this friend draw me closer to God? Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Megan Lacefield. Serving as a Marriage & Family Pastor for years, Megan has seen God work miracles in many marriages, starting with her own. Though she and the love of her life, Chad, started off shaky they landed on solid ground and have been running full steam ever since. With a daughter, Chandler(21), and son Riley (18), their family has shared with thousands their story of redemption, grace, and celebrating God's goodness in the little things. Recently she stepped out in faith into a new season to pursue the dream God put inside her to speak and write. Megan's heart is that the spoken words or written words found in Everyday Pearls capture the snapshot of His love through even the smallest details of our lives. Strong and bold is Megan's message of hope for those who feel lost in the shuffle and insignificant in the eyes of God. Key Points from Our Conversation: Megan's revelation that she was raising her grandkid's parents shifted and shaped how she and her husband were doing marriage. We don't have the option to quit in the middle of our marriage. Remember that you were intentionally designed with different strengths. We must work in rhythm and know our individual roles. Quit quitting on God, yourself, and each other. Marriage is not 50/50, you both have to give 100% of yourself. "If you don't remember where you came from, you won't have the strength and courage to move where God wants you to be." Defining the goals you're moving toward will take time to develop. Ask each other and your kids what is most important to them. Ask God where He wants to lead you. Destinations are unique. 3 questions to craft a family mission statement - What words do you want to describe your family? What do you want your family legacy to be? What's most important to you? When God is calling you to something different, give yourself grace in the discomfort. We lean into God in the discomfort. You don't have to be okay. Be the community you need. Show up for people. Those investments do not return void. If you're questioning if someone should be part of your community, ask how you feel after you spend time with them. Do they make you feel closer to God? It's okay if you're not moving in the same direction. Sometimes relationships require additional effort. If you feel a burden for someone, ask them what they need and keep asking until they accept the help. Let's Get Real Practical: Take a walk with your spouse and try asking these 3 questions - How do you think I'm doing? How do you think we're doing? What do you need from me? Connect with Megan: website | Instagram | Facebook | podcast Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

The February series we are doing is all about restoring relationships. We started last week by restoring union with ourselves and the Lord. If you missed it, please go back and tune in. Since today is Valentine's day, it seemed fitting to dive right into restoring romantic relationships, with the focus on marriage. Marriage was God's idea and the enemy has been wreaking havoc on it since the beginning of time. Come with me as the Lord steps on our toes about what true love in our marriage or any relationship in our lives should look like. I'm going to move through them slowly. Ask God to highlight any of these areas you need to submit to Him. Key Verse for the month: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Valentine's Idea: Consider writing your spouse a note and let them know what God convicted you of in this verse. Write all the things you love about your spouse and what they do well. Tell them how much you love them no matter what. Fun resource: XO Fitness Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

It's the first week in February and chances are many of you have already given up on a new year's resolutions and I'm curious what you're thinking about yourself right now. We can't practice self-love without seeking God with our whole entire heart, soul, mind, and strength. How can we love others if we don't first love ourselves? The answer lies in more time seeking God. Key Verse for the month: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Let's look at our key verse analyzed against our relationship with ourselves. Do you treat yourself kind? With patience? Are you irritable? Resentful? Action steps for this week: Ask God what is separating you from Him and be willing to get rid of it Turn on worship music Look for the Lord throughout your day in fun way Read the Bible Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with author Gary Thomas about his book Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life. Gary is a writer in residence at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, and an adjunct faculty member teaching on spiritual formation at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon, and Houston Theological Seminary in Houston, Texas. He is the author of 20 books, including When to Walk Away, Sacred Pathways, Cherish, and Sacred Marriage (over one million copies sold). He has a master's degree from Regent College and was awarded an honorary doctorate in divinity from Western Seminary. Gary has spoken in 49 states and 10 different countries. Key Points from Our Conversation: Healthy sex should include 3 main components - it should be mutually pleasurable, affirm the relationship, and honor God. "It's very different when you use sex to cherish your spouse rather than using your spouse to cherish sex." The first toward redirecting unhealthy sex is to find out what's not working. It may be theological, relational, physical, or creative. The Bible celebrates the sexual relationship between husband and wife in Song of Songs. It's a gift from God that provides pleasure, creates life, and bonds us relationally. For sex to thrive it has to be mutually pleasurable. There is nothing sinful or selfish about wanting to experience pleasure - God designed your body for it. Common "sexpecations" - Because you love each other sex will be amazing. You'll always desire your spouse sexually. Sex will always be easy. Sex is primarily for men. All five senses create their own sense of sexual pleasure. By being intentional about these areas, you can create a different kind of sexual experience. Let's Get Real Practical: There are only two practical steps for you to follow this week - buy Married Sex then read and discuss it with your spouse. Resources Mentioned: Debra Fileta Episode Sponsor: How to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse or Loved Ones – a one-page document with 6 easy steps to communicate your thoughts and feelings you can use in any tough conversation. Connect with Gary: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with author Mattie Jackson Selecman about her new book Lemons on Friday: Trusting God Through My Greatest Heartbreak. Mattie is a certified sommelier and previously owned a wine bar in Nashville. She also has a degree in creative writing from the University of Tennessee. Tragically, she lost her husband of less than a year, Ben Selecman, in September 2018 after he suffered a traumatic brain injury while on vacation in Florida. Despite her grief, Mattie is pushing forward and has dedicated herself to helping others. Mattie and her business partner, Brooke Tometich, started a philanthropic merchandise brand dubbed "NaSHEville" in order to help women and children in need—specifically orphans, widows, and trafficked women. Key Points from Our Conversation: The most helpful question for Mattie wasn't "what do you need?" It was "would this be helpful?" If a loved one is grieving, ask if they'd like to talk about it or if they'd like to hear about your life as an escape from their pain. So many people wrestle with why terrible things happen, but whether it was an accident or "God's plan," either is hard to reconcile. Fight it out with God. If he doesn't give you an answer, pray to trust Him anyway. Don't pretend you're okay if you're not. In the grappling with God, you'll see His tenderness. Understanding why something happened isn't what will heal you; healing comes from trusting that God is good and sovereign. Don't wait until you hit rock bottom to build a foundation of faith. Create a daily rhythm. Learn about Jesus, read the gospels. Time is not the one thing that's gonna heal you - Jesus is the one thing that can heal you. Time helped Mattie learn what her hurt looked like and gave her tools to help manage her grief to become less debilitating. With time, you start to learn how to relate to it. Find one thing that would nourish your soul each day – prayer, a walk, etc. - and honor those things. Your heart comes back together slowly and it takes different things on different days. Invite the people you trust in. Resources Mentioned: Stages of grief Grief process worksheet A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis Let's Get Real Practical: Download the Stages of Grief sheet and Grief Process Worksheet Connect with Mattie: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with New York Times bestselling author Francine Rivers about her book and new movie Redeeming Love. Francine has published numerous novels—all bestsellers—and she has continued to win both industry acclaim and reader loyalty around the globe. Her novels have been awarded or nominated for many honors, and in 1997, after winning her third RITA Award for inspirational fiction, Francine was inducted into the Romance Writers of America Hall of Fame. In 2015, she received the Lifetime Achievement Award from American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW). Francine's novels have been translated into over 30 different languages, and she enjoys bestseller status in many foreign countries. She and her husband enjoy spending time with their children and grandchildren. Key Points from Our Conversation: Redeeming Love is based on the book of Hosea in which the Lord tells Hosea to marry a prostitute. Although she resists, he continues to pursue her. It's a picture of God's love for His people. The world thinks of love as a feeling, but feelings are fleeting. Love is action. God's love is constant and it never fails, but it's up to us to choose to accept it. The main takeaway of Redeeming Love is God's unrelenting love for us. Take your non-Christian friends to see this movie and use it as a conversation starter about Christ. And if you can, read the book before you see it. Resources Mentioned: Redeeming Love book Redeeming Love movie Connect with Francine: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with speaking coach Amie Stockstill. Amie is a fun-loving Southern who is passionate about training women to communicate the Gospel with confidence and clarity through her organization Let's Echo. Key Points from Our Conversation: There is not a calling that God gives us that doesn't involve using our voice. Despite our feeling, we know we're surrendered to what God is calling us to when we say yes even when we don't want to. Fear stops us from using our voice - fear that it won't work, that we'll be wrong, even fear that we're appointing ourselves. If you're worried about stepping outside of submission, that is proof of your submission and surrender. If you're wrestling with whether or not God has appointed you to something, first you have to wrestle with it with God. Take your time. If the vision multiplies, take it to the right people and have them partner with you. You can't do the exterior things without doing the internal work that lays the foundation and that can be a long process. The most powerful part of using your voice is saying yes to God. Even if I don't have any of the things I think I should have, I still surrender and say "here I am." If God says I can do it, then who am I to say no? Wherever you are, you can use your voice. All we have to do is echo the heart of the Father. If we simply repeat what He tells us in His Word, that's a no-fail system. The daily pursuit of holiness builds character. In order to have a character that sustains our calling, we must stand before the Lord daily and ask Him to refine us, purify us, and point out what's wrong in our hearts. We're never going to be perfect; God can use us anyway. We're not deserving, but we can choose to be obedient and humble. Be open to correction and rebuke and respond in a way that lines up with the Word. Resources Mentioned: Let's Echo free resources M'Cheyne One Year Reading Plan - digital | PDF Let's Get Real Practical: Let's debunk some myths we might believe about having something to say with these two questions - When you think of someone being used by God, what personality traits do they possess? Are those traits biblical or did you believe it incorrectly based on what you had observed in our world? Now consider your unique personality. How is it unique? And how might God use your unique voice and personality to reach people where He has planted you? Episode sponsor: Download the 3 Action Steps to Overcome Fear & Pursue your God-Given Dreams FREE training today! Connect with Amie: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

For the month of December, we have spent every Monday morning in a series called "Praise, Process & Pray through 2021". Last week, we processed body image. This week our topic is desires and dreams in our hearts. "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain." Psalm 127:1 Praise: For the dreams that have come to pass this year. And for the dreams that will come to pass. Process: Dreams that fizzled. Let's ask the Lord some questions about those dreams: Was that dream from you? Do you want to bring that dream back to life? Is it time to let that dream go? What dream do you want to deposit in my heart for 2022? Pray: Lord, we only want to seek the dreams that you have deposited in our hearts. Uproot any dreams or desires that are not from you. I am willing to work hard, but I do not want to labor in vain. Build these dreams in ways only can, father. I want to partner with you. Resource: 3 Action Steps to Overcome Fear & Pursue your God-Given Dreams Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

For the month of December, we are spending every Monday morning in a series called "Praise, Process & Pray through 2021". Last week, we processed relationships. This week our topic is body image. I am finishing up the first draft of my manuscript on body image and one thing I know for certain is that the Lord cares about every area of our lives, including our bodies. Praise: Thank God for your body. Speak life over her. Process: How is my relationship with my body? Are there any feelings of shame or pride around my body that I need to release? What season is my body in? (Give yourself permission to age and change.) Write a letter to your body Pray: Over body image and health in 2021. Resource: Biblical Body Image Coloring Book Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

For the month of December, we will spend every Monday morning in a series called "Praise, Process & Pray through 2021". Last week, we processed the topic of change, closed doors/redirection, or loss. This week our topic is relationships. Relationships are hard yet we need them. Let's start by praising God for the relationships we do have. Praise: Thank God for anyone currently in your life. Thank God for what he did in relationships. This year, I grew closer to my oldest daughter and my husband. Process: Broken relationships have the potential to hold great power over us. Dr. Robert Anthony says, "When you blame others, you give up your power to change". I lost a friendship this year and it left me feeling confused, betrayed, and lonely. Every time that friend comes to mind, I choose to release and bless her. Let's do that now in our prayer time. Pray: Pray over broken relationships. Pray over 2022, that the Lord will restore broken relationships and bring new ones in as needed. Resource: Six Steps to Clear Communication Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

For the month of December, we will spend every Monday morning in a series called "Praise, Process & Pray through 2021". Y'all loved this series so much last year that we brought it back again. Each week the focus will be different, but the theme of praising, processing, and praying will remain the same. I asked the Lord to show me areas he wants us to process before we move into 2022 and the first thing He brought up was change. This can look like closed doors/redirection, or loss. If you tuned in last year, you might have noticed we just processed and prayed. This year, I felt God ask me to add praise. God is always worthy of our praise so let's start each episode by praising him, no matter the circumstances. Let's start today by processing change in 2021. Praise: Psalm 150:5 says "Let everything that has breathe praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!". If you are listening to this message, it means you have breath in your body. Let's take a moment to use our own breathe to praise the Lord for whatever comes to mind. Process these questions throughout the week in a journal: What change or closed doors did I experience in 2021? What was lost in 2021? Have I addressed that loss or numbed the pain with passive activities like eating, shopping, social media, or other avoidant activities? God, what do you want to redeem that was stolen in 2021? Man's rejection can often be God's direction. Take a moment to ask God where He is taking you. Pray: Release control Resource mentioned: 3 Action Steps to Overcome Fear & Pursue Your God-Given Dreams Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with author Victoria Duerstock. Victoria is a multi-passionate creative and entrepreneur fueled mostly by coffee who pursues her dreams with verve and intensity. Wife and mom of three, Victoria divides and conquers the never-ending to-do list while working to maintain her sanity and pleasant demeanor. Her writing journey plunged her deep into the social media landscape and she enjoys sharing her tips and tricks for growth and engagement with others. Recipient of the 2020 Selah Nonfiction Book of the Year, Victoria has authored six titles, with more on the way. She is the founder and president of End Game Press, a traditional publishing house where ordinary people accomplish extraordinary things. Key Points from Our Conversation: You cannot achieve peace in your marriage without intentionally pursuing it. The busyness is the most common peace stealer in our homes. Decluttering our schedules and homes will help free up peace. "When it comes to decluttering your schedule, the enemy is not trying to decide between the good things and the wrong things, it's trying to decide between the best and the good." Decluttering allows you to better engage with the people in your home. They can relax and be comfortable in your space. "If the eye can rest, the body can rest." If you struggle to keep your home decluttered, start small. Start by spending a few minutes every day taking things to the places they belong in your home. Remember that the goal is sustainable progress, but the end result. If you want to redecorate a room but don't know where to start, shop your home by moving decorations around that you already have to refresh your space. Be willing to try things. And if you know someone who is gifted at decorating, don't be afraid to ask for their help to make your space personal and beautiful. Don't stress if interior design doesn't come naturally to you, remember that making things comfortable is what matters. Be focused on relationships and trust God to put things into place. Prayer allows us to enter into the peace of God. "When I'm praying it's a reminder of my need because of my lack." Resources Mentioned: Heart & Home book series Let's Get Real Practical: I want to help you cultivate an atmosphere of peace and joy in your home. Ask yourself what is keeping you from playing or being creative, especially in your home. Then be intentional to play or engage in a hobby. Connect with Victoria: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Dr. Juli Slattery. Juli is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and broadcast media professional with over twenty-five years of experience counseling, and teaching women. She's the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a unique ministry devoted to teaching God's design for intimacy and sexuality. In 2020, Juli launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. She hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, and spiritual, emotional, and sexual intimacy. Key Points from Our Conversation: Women don't understand how to use their power. Understanding healthy marriage means understanding how to use our power constructively and how we often use it destructively. A wife's biggest challenge is wanting to husband to lead, but wanting him to lead the way she wants him to lead. When we direct his actions, we're not helping develop leadership in him. "Men grow when they're encouraged, given a vision of who they'll become, and when they don't fear failure." You can help empower your husband by establishing you've got his back through failure. Use teamwork language - "we" instead of "I". Most of the time almost every decision is less important than how you make the decision. Be more concerned about your marriage than getting everything right. A wife's power comes from what the other person needs. God designed it that way. Men have 3 basic needs - to feel like their wife believes in them despite their weaknesses, their wife's help (insight, accountability, etc.), and sexual intimacy. We often misuse our power out of fear or anger. Instead of encouraging our husbands to be who they are, we want to determine how things are done. It's controlling and manipulative and makes him make decisions based on fear of our response. God designed sex to be powerful and intimate. It exposes us. It taps into shame and self-worth. It's a spiritual battleground. That's why it's worth fighting for. Get God's perspective of sex. Pray together about your sex life and consider going to counseling. "Anything close to the heart of God is constantly under attack from the enemy." Common sexual barriers include differences in desire, physical issues, or infertility. Get help for physical issues. Look for someone who has expertise in sexual functioning like a pelvic floor specialist or Christian sex therapist. Healthy conflict within marriage is good. It's how individuals navigate their differences. Fighting is "you against me" and "you have to see it my way." It happens when we are triggered and we go in self-protection mode instead of determining how to get on the same page. Let's Get Real Practical: It's no secret that the enemy hates marriage. This week I'm challenging you to fight for your marriage. Ask God these 2 questions - What area of my marriage is the enemy attacking? How can I partner with you to fight for my marriage? Episode Sponsor: How to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse or Loved Ones – a one-page document with 6 easy steps to communicate your thoughts and feelings you can use in any tough conversation. Connect with Juli: website | Instagram | Facebook | podcast Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Juli Bevere. She is a co-founder of SonsAndDaughters.tv and she desires to see the sons and daughters of God rise to their potential so that their impact reverberates long after their final breath. Julianna is deeply in love with her husband, Addison, and together they have four adorable offspring—Asher (12), Sophia (10), Elizabeth (7), and Augustus (5). Julianna and her family live in Colorado Springs, but she'll always be a Texan at heart. Key Points from Our Conversation: In her new book, I AM: Find Your Identity. Claim Your Freedom. Embrace the Adventure, Juli demystifies what the Bible says about us as children of God by defining terms that have been clouded ("holy", "righteous," "called") and explaining how we can contextualize them for our lives. Too often we let comparison be the dictator of what's enough in our lives. When you're being cultivated and allowing God to grow you, to figure out who it is you're needed to be – that's your calling, not what you're doing. What you put your hands to will continually change. "Calling happens in the seemingly mundane. Your calling is not only what you do, but more deeply, it's who you are." Believing in your value as a daughter of God is not a one-time revelation. It comes from positionally knowing who you are and whose you are with nothing to prove or hide. Being a daughter of God allows you to enter the world in a position where you can give because you are loved and not looking to receive. Growth requires consistently making space, removing distractions, and sitting with God. "We do a disservice to the world when we walk into situations looking to receive from the world rather than give to it. That's what it means to be a son and daughter of God." Your calling is not one task, vocation, or achievement. It's multifaceted beautiful and complex. It's God's intention for you to change grow and develop. Look at your life holistically. So much of your calling is being a light in the different roles in your life. We are all part of the body of Christ, not the totality. No one is doing it all on their own. Resources Mentioned: I AM: Find Your Identity. Claim Your Freedom. Embrace the Adventure SonsAndDaughters.tv Messenger X app Let's Get Real Practical: We're all listening to someone or something and we need to be more aware and intentional about who we let speak into our lives. This week think about one "I am" statement that you need to replace, then be intentional about replacing that lie with the truth of God's Word. Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Juli: website | Instagram Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with revivalist, author, and Director of Saturate Global, Jessi Green. After being radically saved in her Manhattan apartment after a radical encounter with God, she has been on a journey to go "all in" and discover the "real" Jesus and ignite the Church for revival. She is passionate about preaching the Gospel, shaking religious systems, and equipping the saints to make disciples. She believes that everyone is qualified to share the Good News and teach others to follow Jesus. While enjoying the sun in North Carolina with her two sons David Leonidas and Ethan Everest and baby daughter Summer Kingsley, she passionately speaks about what it means to follow a Jesus who is alive and wants to transform cities and your life. Key Points from Our Conversation: Revival typically happens when the church is in crisis. Jessi was told, "The harvest begins summer of 2020, prepare the nets." Revival is happening in every city if we choose to partner with the Holy Spirit. We don't always need revival, but there are certain indications in society that create an environment for revival such as jealousy and evil rumors within the church or when the church has lost its love for one another. We often confuse mass salvation with revival, but salvation is simply the fruit of becoming ignited in love for Jesus. Revival fire is deposited in the hearts of young people who are a part of it. God creates a synergy among children in revival to help usher in the next revival. God is not withholding Himself from us. If you want to experience revival, the question is how deep do you want to go? As you go deeper, you lose control. Ask yourself what it is that's preventing you from going all-in with Jesus. After His crucifixion, Jesus tells us that it was better for Him to leave in the flesh so that the Holy Spirit could come to dwell with us. That requires a response from us because saying no to the Holy Spirit is rejecting what Christ is offering you. Ask the Lord to teach you through scripture about the nature of Jesus and the purpose of the Holy Spirit. You can help support revivalists by attending a Saturate Global event, joining a volunteer team, donating money to revival ministries, and praying for discernment, wisdom, and protection over the families o the people doing this work. You can find more practical tips in Jessi's book Wildfires: Revolt Against Apathy and Ignite Your World with God's Power. Let's Get Real Practical: I don't have any action steps for you to take this week, but I do ask that you'd take a moment and pray with me to usher in the spirit of revival right where we are. Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Jessi: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Becky Keife. Becky is the community manager for (in)courage, an online community where women gather to build community, celebrate diversity, and become women of courage. In addition to daily articles on incourage.me, (in)courage also offers Bible studies, devotionals, and a podcast to help women grow in their faith! Becky is also a popular speaker and is the author of The Simple Difference: How Every Small Kindness Makes a Big Impact, the Courageous Kindness Bible Study, as well as No Better Mom for the Job. She and her husband live near Los Angeles, where they enjoy hiking shady trails with their three spirited sons. Key Points from Our Conversation: We often think of kindness as being synonymous with being polite or nice, but often it requires courage. We need to be willing to embrace the awkward for the sake of encouraging someone else. "Our words don't have to be complicated in order to be meaningful." Jesus often chose kindness through awkward actions. Take a risk and leave the outcome to God. If we let what-ifs become barriers to following the Holy Spirit, we'll miss out on the blessing He has for us. He's offering us the opportunity to see Him work in us and through us in unexpected ways. Often God isn't asking us to make a big move but to do the simple thing. The small things can cause ripples of change. Don't wait for the perfect circumstances. We can make a difference right where we are with exactly what we have. God wants to use our simple kindness. When we build margin into our lives it gives us the opportunity to show kindness without feeling like we don't have the time to invest in others. Regardless of how much time we have, we can choose to be present where we are and to the people in front of us. "Be where your feet are." There's something powerful that happens when we shift from being self-focused to others-focused. When you feel like you have nothing left to give, choose to be the friend/spouse/neighbor you want to have. The more you pour out, the more God will fill you back up. Don't discount the power of prayer. Prayer isn't a last resort, it should be our first response. Consider offering the profound kindness of praying for someone while you're with them in the moment. Let's Get Real Practical: I'm challenging you to ask God to show you who He wants you to show kindness to today. Then follow through by doing something for that person that makes you a bit uncomfortable. Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Becky: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with my friend Nika Maples about her incredible story. She says, "When I was 20 years old, my plans for my life, career, family, and future fell apart. I was an active sophomore in college, then suddenly I was quadriplegic in the Intensive Care Unit, having suffered a massive brainstem stroke. I could not speak, swallow, or blink. Because I could hear, I listened as doctors warned my family that I had as little as 48 hours to live. There was nothing for us to do but pray. My faith sustained me in ways I can hardly explain, and a year later I walked back onto my college campus on my own two feet. I taught English in public schools for ten years, and in 2007, the Texas Education Agency awarded me the distinguished honor of Texas Secondary Teacher of the Year. In that role, I started writing and speaking full time, sharing messages of hope and endurance with education, business, and church groups across the country. I love seeing people experience a renewed sense of purpose because of one of my presentations. One of the most rewarding things I do is help Christian writers conquer what's holding them back. To date, I have written five books and I have a thriving career as a writer and public speaker. But that wasn't always the case. I remember struggling to finish my first book and wondering how to take the next step in publishing and marketing. Now I enjoy teaching writers how to advance their Kingdom-focused writing projects through my signature program, The Keep Writing Course." Key Points from Our Conversation: After suffering a brain stem stroke and being given a bad report, Nika says that the prognosis was "information, but not a proclamation" about her life. God not only restored Nika's speech but also gave her a platform to use it. "There's no such thing as a dead-end in God's kingdom." We often believe information as a fact, but we should bring everything to the Lord. Give the facts to Him as you know them and trust that He knows and holds the future. Some common limiting beliefs that often stop us from starting are that don't have enough time, money or skill, and ability. Stop focusing on the temporary. "There is no such thing as being behind with an eternal God." Money is just a tool. You should never think of money as an obstacle. God is the only source. Everything else is a resource. Ask God for what you need to accomplish the task He's assigned you. When we say, "I don't know," it disconnects us from the divine wisdom God is giving us. The Holy Spirit speaks truth and increases our wisdom. He has given us everything we need for life and Godliness. His thoughts that are higher than my thoughts are available to me. Say something different like, "God is helping me figure this out" or "It's becoming clearer." "Doubt means I'm entering new territory. Discomfort is the price of admission to taking new territory." The discomfort casts us into His comforting arms. He's the only one who can truly comfort us. God doesn't require us to suffer, but a lot of times suffering produces what's next because we meet Jesus in a new way. When doubt comes up, we think we're not supposed to do something. The doubt comes before the breakthrough. Every dream we have is on the other side of discomfort. Failure is not a problem. God will use our failure for fruitfulness. Without faith, it's impossible to please God. Faith is God's pleasure. He doesn't want our works. It's when we're face down in loss, failure, and defeat that we can experience the greatest faith in our lives. When we know He's the only one who can save us and He's the only one that will, that faith brings Him great pleasure. Be content to let him lead. Self-confidence comes from our self-history. God-confidence is knowing that if He asked me to do it, then He's planning to empower me to do it. There are enough blessings for all. There is no lack in the kingdom. Let's Get Real Practical: The Bible says we should take our thoughts captive. This week I encourage you to take a deep look at your thoughts and investigate how they're affecting your life. What's a thought that God is calling you to take captive? (Choose just one at a time.) What feeling does that thought activate? What behavior is following? Resources Mentioned: Twelve Clean Pages Keep Writing Course One-on-one coaching Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Nika: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with Michelle Meyers and Somer Phoebus about their new book She Works His Way: A Practical Guide for Doing What Matters Most in a Get-Things-Done World. Michelle and Somer are also moms, wives, women called to work, best friends, and co-leaders of She Works His Way - a discipleship community for working women. Michelle Myers is an author, entrepreneur, and motivator. Michelle launched She Works His Way to pour God's truth into the lives of women in ministry and business. She is the author of Famous in Heaven & at Home. Michelle lives in North Carolina with her husband, two sons, and a daughter. Somer Phoebus is a brick-and-mortar business lover, productivity expert, and pastor's wife. She is part of the She Works His Way leadership team. In addition to an early career in fashion and retail, Somer started and sold two fitness studios. Somer lives in Maryland with her husband and two daughters. Key Points from Our Conversation: Through She Works His Way Michelle and Somer encourage women to filter everything through the gospel by asking how our actions impact the kingdom of God. The community continually reminds members to surrender to Jesus who brings freedom, energy, and excitement. "If you're walking with Jesus, where you are right now is where you're called." – Somer Whatever work you're doing, you are in a mission field. God has placed you there to be His representative to those around you. If you invest in people where you are and behave according to the gospel, it creates curiosity in the hearts of those around you and opens doors to speak truth into someone's life. All women work. Work is not defined by compensation. It's an intentional effort that you take for the purpose of the glory of God. So often we equate balance with perfection, so our pursuit of balance is futile. Give up chasing balance and surrender it to Jesus. When we seek God first, He shapes our desires. "Attempting to make God equal with the rest of your life is going to equal chaos every single time." – Michelle Never be afraid to ask for help. Leave margin in your schedule to love people. Inspect the things you keep coming back to that keep leaving you dry. Those things steal energy from the things that truly matter. Accept that you probably didn't marry someone exactly like you, so you'll likely have conflict. It's not personal, they love you first and they see things differently. You don't have to defend yourself. It's a gift to have someone who sees things differently. Lower your expectations of your spouse every day. We always expect more than we should. Marriage can't be forced; it has to be organic. Have fun with each other and be intentional about it. There isn't a 5 step process to fix your marriage. It'll look different for everyone. Too much pressure on marriage is what usually breaks it. If you are juggling all the things, remember Matthew 6:33 ("Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.") and let it take root in your soul. If you've been walking with Christ for a while, encourage someone who hasn't by extending grace where they're expecting too much of themselves and point them back to Jesus. Let's Get Real Practical: We get to decide who or what gets our energy. As a physical reminder, consider getting a piggy bank and write the word "energy" on it. Any time someone asks you to do something, look at it as more than time, but energy. Ask yourself if the return was worth the energy you spent on the task. Did it leave you feeling drained? Resources Mentioned: SWHW Narrow Conference - November 5-6, 2021 Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with She Works His Way: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I'm talking with author Christy Wright about her new book Take Back Your Time: The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance. Christy is a #1 national best-selling author, personal development expert, and host of The Christy Wright Show. Since 2009, Christy has served at Ramsey Solutions, where she teaches on personal development, business, and faith. Key Points from Our Conversation: The #1 question Christy gets as a business coach is "How do you balance everything?" What she's come to realize is that balance isn't something you do, it's something you create in your life that looks like peace and confidence in your choices, as well as how you spend your time. You want to enjoy your life and be proud of how you spend your time; the path to that is not productivity. "Life balance is not doing everything for an equal amount of time, it's about doing the right things at the right time." 4 reasons we feel out of balance: We're doing too much. Our time is finite. We have to make choices; we can't fit it all in. We're not doing enough. Possibly triggered by something major shifting in life leaving you feeling bored and out of balance. Doing the wrong things. As long as you spend your life doing things that aren't important to you, you'll feel stressed, resentful, anxious, and angry. Not doing the right things. We should be spending time on the things we actually care about - the things that are life-giving and valuable. Doing the wrong thing out of guilt or obligation, getting distracted, or even doing good things in the wrong season will take away time from what's important to you. We tend to swing to extremes because we love the impressive. But it's not sustainable to be focused on everything all the time. It's less impressive, but taking a small action is more sustainable and allows you to better engage in things that fill you up. Some is better than none. It may look different in different seasons, but what matters is you're spending time on something that's important to you. You can help determine what matters to you most by asking what's important right now? Ask yourself who you want to be. As you determine that, it will bring clarity to what you're supposed to do and what matters most to you because it's more about who we are than what we do. You get to determine what does and doesn't matter to you. We have more time than we think we do, we're just spending it on things that are not the most important things to us. Ask yourself where you lose time. We've become addicted to productivity. You have permission to not do things that don't matter to you. Every commitment on your calendar/task list represents a deeper motivation in you. You might be addicted to productivity if you can't sit still or are always thinking about what comes next. We feel the need for contact input, but our brains were created for rest to reflect and pray. It takes practice. "Productivity doesn't lead to balance, doing the right things leads to us feeling balanced." This is your life. No one gets to tell you what you should be important to you. How you spend your time is how you spend your life. Spend it on what matters most to you. Let's Get Real Practical: There is no such thing as balance, but there is such a thing as pressing into doing the right things that matter most to you in this season. Getting clear on what we're called to helps relieve decision-making pressure. Make a list of all the things you do weekly/monthly that require a commitment from you. Circle the things that are non-negotiable. Strikethrough any items you need to lay down or outsource. When a new opportunity comes up, look at the list and see if it fits with what matters most to you in this season. Resources Mentioned: Ep. 107: Get Back to You with Christy Wright Humor, Seriously: Why Humor Is a Secret Weapon in Business and Life (And how anyone can harness it. Even you.) Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Christy: website | Instagram | Facebook | podcast Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with author Lisa Whittle about her new book The Hard Good: Showing Up for God to Work in You When You Want to Shut Down. Lisa has published eight books and her wit and bold bottom-line approach have made her a sought-after Bible teacher. She is also the creator of a companion video Bible study for Jesus over Everything. A pastor's daughter and longtime ministry leader in issues relevant to the church, Lisa is the founder of Ministry Strong and the popular Jesus over Everything podcast, which debuted in the top 25 of Christian podcasts. Her love runs deep to see people pursue Jesus for life, grow deep roots of faith, and walk strong in the midst of a world that so often seems to have gone crazy. She and her family live in North Carolina. Key Points from Our Conversation: "The Hard Good" is the stuff that is hard and most spiritually transformative if we allow God to use it and the emotions/feelings that thwart us in the process of change. "God anoints and appoints, but usability is up to us." Some things are just hard, but not spiritually transformative. The things God wants to use in our lives are often the hard things. But we can better endure the hard when we know there's a purpose behind it. We tend to live ignoring our feelings or feeling controlled by them. People of faith have often struggled in this area because of the false idea that it dishonors their faith. But the creator of the universe made us with emotions and feelings, so He's the one to help us regulate them. We need to have more hard conversations in the church about abuse, widows, refugees, race, etc. When the church won't have tough conversations, the world leads the conversation and the church is left to respond when it should be leading. As a Christian, you are called to make disciples wherever you have influence. Encourage hard conversations in the church and pray for your leaders. If you feel your church isn't aligning with your values, it may be time to leave. "Instead of silencing tough conversations, let's silence the fear of taking them on." We all fear getting into a hard conversation because we don't know how it will turn out. If something continues to compel you after praying about it, it's probably time to address it. Praying and being in tune with the Holy Spirit is the best way to ensure a good conversation. Before engaging online remember that anything that offers help apart from the power of God is not helpful. It will end in disaster because it's a human providing a solution. Take time to process and pray before posting. Let's Get Real Practical: It's time to face hard conversations head-on without fear. Ask God to show you what tough conversations He's inviting you into and use these 3 tips to engage - pray, listen to the other person, and reflect what they said for clarification. Resources Mentioned: Episode 60: Jesus Over Everything with Lisa Whittle Episode Sponsor: How to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse or Loved Ones - a one-page document with 6 easy steps to communicate your thoughts and feelings you can use in any tough conversation. Connect with Lisa: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking to author Sarah Bragg about her new book A Mother's Guide to Raising Herself. Sarah is also the host of the podcast Surviving Sarah. Along with being a master at brewing coffee and a champion of cheering for others, she is also a mother of two girls and a wife to Scott. She and her family reside in Tennessee. Key Points from Our Conversation: There's a lot of pressure that comes along with believing motherhood is your calling. If it is the greatest thing we can ever do, what about the women who don't/can't have children? What happens when your kids grow up? Raising kids is valuable, but it doesn't have to be a pressure point. It's a relationship. Perfectionism tells us that if we follow the formula and it doesn't work, it must be us. You have to get to the heart of who you are and what your kids need. Be aware of your tendency for perfectionism and don't use it as an affirmation of your worth. Pay attention to your "should soundtrack." When you feel like you should do something, let it be an indicator to investigate further. Is that something that's important or you want to do? Why do you feel pressure to do it? Fear isn't a bad thing, but you can't let it drive you. Choose curiosity over judgment. Choose to trust in God. Staying focused on your goals will give you perspective. The best way to communicate with girls about body image is by modeling healthy behaviors and appreciating your body for what it is. Raising girls helped Sarah realize how her self-obsession with looks affected others and gave her perspective on how absurd the goals were that she had set for herself. Stop comparing yourself to other women – including your former self. If we can accept where we are, there's a freedom that follows. Showing up is enough. Let's Get Real Practical: This week we're evaluating our "should soundtrack." What areas of your life do you feel defeated in? When you look at those areas, are you "shoulding" on yourself? Where did those "shoulds" come from? Episode sponsor: Download the 3 Action Steps to Overcome Fear & Pursue your God-Given Dreams FREE training today! Connect with Sarah: website | Instagram | Facebook | podcast Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with my friend Rebekah Moes about her personal journey with infidelity in her marriage and God's power of redemption. Bekah is a Jesus-loving mom-of-five from the DFW area. She and her husband Nick co-founded Family of Hope, a non-profit web-based resource for couples in crisis. Their podcast unFAITHFUL: redeeming infidelity reaches couples recovering from infidelity all over the world. Bekah is passionate about sharing her story and breaking the silence on a lonely road that many couples walk. She believes a healthy "we" starts with a healthy "me," and knows that journey very well. She loves talking to women about how to live overflowing, Spirit-empowered lives first at home, and then in every sphere of influence. Key Points from Our Conversation: Rebekah initially believed her husband's pornography addiction was a "struggle" that would resolve itself after marriage, but after things worsened it became clear it was a heart issue. Think of marriage as a mirror – your spouse reflects yourself back to you. "My spouse is not the problem, my spouse reveals the problem in me." If you're going through a difficult season in your marriage, focus on finding your identity and self-worth, not casting blame. When you numb one thing, you also become to other things, but it's okay to be present in your numbness. Be exactly and fully where you are. The process to stop numbing is long and slow, but "you don't need all the steps, just the next one." The wound created by infidelity is unique and will require a support system from professionals and trusted friends. Regardless of if your spouse is ready to change, the first step is getting help for yourself. You can start with a trusted friend or pastor, but get counseling. Any place there's secrecy is a red flag. Ask what's behind the secrecy – what are they/you afraid of? What's keeping us from being fully open to one another? "A healthy we starts with a healthy me." You can't control your spouse, but you can set boundaries – boundaries are not an attempt to control someone else, but rather an attempt to protect yourself. Not every spouse is going to choose the right path, but God's healing is available regardless of how your spouse responds. "The hope is not in saving the marriage, the hope is in your life with the Lord and all of the future He has for you." Resources Mentioned: Gateway Church Conflict in Marriage resource The Affair Recovery Center Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Rebekah: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

In a recent moment of panic, a mentor offered me some helpful insight - "Your best decisions come from a place of calm." I had become focused on what I was going to do rather than tapping into the power of God. What unyielding obstacles are you facing today? Don't panic. Instead, turn to God and trust in His power to do what's impossible. Discomfort is the price of admission to taking new territory. Get around people who will look for the power of God instead of panicking and get into the Bible. It increases our faith to rely on His power. Resource mentioned: Care and Counsel Bible Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking with author Wendy Pope about her new book Jesus Everlasting: Leaning on Our Counselor, Defender, Father, and Friend. Wendy is the wife of Scott, mother of Blaire and Griffin, author, speaker, and Bible study teacher. She loves lazy Sundays watching golf with her husband, thrift-store shopping with her daughter, and watching building shows with her son. She is the author of several books - Jesus Everlasting, Hidden Potential, Yes, No, and Maybe and Wait and See. Wendy is the Founder and Executive Director of Word Up Ministries. She leads women all over the world to life change through her in-depth online Bible studies. She has led thousands of women through her Read Through the Word daily video study of the One Year Chronological Bible. Down-to-earth and transparent, Wendy teaches in a way that women feel she is speaking directly to their hearts. Key Points from Our Conversation: Wendy's book Jesus Everlasting: Leaning on Our Counselor, Defender, Father, and Friend tells the stories of the everyday women in the Bible who had encounters with Jesus as the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace. Jesus is a defender who protects. The truth of His Word is our defense. We can stand on it when we have disagreements and be secure enough to walk away from things that aren't healthy for us. It's hard to lean into a Heavenly Father you can't see when an earthly father that you can has disappointed you. It's a trust relationship that develops over time, but He will never let you down. Invest time getting to know God's heart; read his word. Start in the Psalms. If you don't understand, get a children's Bible or the Living Bible. When you're searching for peace in the midst of the storm, fake it until you feel it. Keep digging into God and His Word and the fruits of the spirit will take root. "God is not instant because He wants to build a relationship with us and it takes time to do that." When we reflect on God's faithfulness, we're building a "faith bank." We make deposits when things are good and we can make withdrawals when you can't feel it and know He'll be faithful again. If you want to recognize God in everyday life, you have to spend time with Him. Do everything to build your faith. "We have to invest in the 411 (information) about God before we can feel Him in the 911 (emergencies)." Let's Get Real Practical: I have two questions to help you lean into Jesus: Where in your life do you need to pull up a seat for Jesus? What questions do you need to ask Him today? Be sure to take time to listen for His response. Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Wendy: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook