Real Recovery Talk

Josh Gamaitoni is here today. Josh is the National Director of Business Development for Banyan Treatment Center. Josh has helped so many people and is a legend in the treatment world. It wasn't always that way, though. Josh started doing drugs when he was 10 and went on a downward spiral as he grew up. He eventually tried some treatment options, but nothing stuck until he decided that getting sober was something he was going to stick to for a year. After getting sober, he became a janitor at a church. He also realized that being sober was something that he enjoyed and made it a permanent lifestyle choice. His confidence also grew, and he became sincerely interested in talking to people and helping them. Eventually, he began working in treatment and became the legend he is today. Josh and Tom also go way back as they got sober together at the same time and the same place. Ben joins them for this inspirational conversation. Show Notes [04:23] Josh started using drugs at 10 years old and went down a rapid path of addiction. He got sober around 21 years old. This was the first real program he went into. [07:01] He used afterwards, and needed help. He was broken and really wanted to get sober and do something in his life. [08:42] He is a firm believer in getting away. Going to South Florida helped Josh. [10:15] He got into a really great program. He did 45 days and moved into a recovery home. HOP is a house of principles. [17:12] It's beneficial to get out of your own backyard when you are going into recovery. [20:15] If you surround yourself with people who you want to be like, do what they do. [21:57] Josh realized he did have a drinking problem. He had an anything that made him feel better problem. [24:01] Josh became a janitor at the church. He soon learned how to talk to people and eventually, he became the National Director of Business Development at Banyan Treatment. [28:58] Josh manages and helps people do what he does. He also goes to the clinics and shares his story. [33:06] Communication skills are so important. We need to talk to people in a way that they are able to receive that. [33:43] Trust and transparency are very important, because people need to feel safe and know that you have their best interest at heart. [37:37] It's okay to take the time and see a therapist. It's okay to not be okay and do what it takes to feel better. [40:22] Josh is a huge fan of interventions. It's planned chaos. There are different approaches. You can usually find one that works. [47:29] Sometimes people are so crazy when they are out there, that they just need to be stopped. Also people sometimes don't know what they want. [50:50] How do you know you want sobriety if you've never been sober before? [53:40] Josh spends his time today, helping people find sobriety. His wife is also a therapist. He loves what he does. [01:00:16] Josh wants more resources available and one day there will be a way to help everyone that is lost. [01:04:35] Holding the truth in his heart is one thing that has helped Josh during the trying times. Links and Resources: Banyan Treatment Center

We are big proponents of the 12-step program. There is also a spiritual component of the program. For many people this can be a big turn off. Other people have trouble reconciling the difference between spirituality and their individual religion. We talk about all of this today with our guest Elliott Hughes. Elliott is the National Outreach Coordinator for Chapel Hill Medical Detox. In this episode, he shares his struggles with getting sober with just religion and how he didn't accept the spiritual components of the 12-step program. Then he shares how he learned to balance the two. He needed the support, community, and action of the program, which then allowed him to practice a stronger faith in his own religion. Show Notes [03:43] Elliott grew up in Indiana. He went to church. He was a decent student. He was an athlete. [04:35] in spite of his Christian background, he fell into the grips of addiction. [04:43] He began drinking and smoking pot at 14. Things progressed until he found heroin, which really brought him to his knees. [07:02] Elliott doesn't think it was rebelling against church that made him start partying. [07:40] He just didn't have a solid foundation and chose the route of partying. [09:54] The 12-step program talks about a power greater than yourself. It's a spiritual program not a religious program. [11:44] Ben found church in his heart and grasps on to the fact that God spoke to him through other people. [13:11] You can get sober even if God isn't your path. [14:07] When Elliott meets one-on-one, he doesn't want to dilute the message of getting sober by preaching his beliefs. [16:36] Ben was a late bloomer with the higher power thing. [17:36] Elliott tried to get sober through church for years. [18:05] Elliott tried a 12-step program and it didn't work. Then he started a faith-based program, but just going to church wasn't enough. [19:25] It takes more than just going to church. You need a program combined with spirituality. [20:09] There is a sense of community in the sober community. It's hard to find like minded people at church who are also struggling with addiction unless you tell everyone about it. [21:07] With the 12-step program you do more than just attend meetings you have to take action. [21:20] There's a sense of community with like-minded people you all have the same goals and there's a service aspect. There is also the sponsor and sponsee part. [23:02] The 12 steps and the program gave me a practical way to take a look at myself that going to church didn't. [24:42] When people aren't vulnerable and honest, you can't see their transformation. [28:19] Faith without works is dead. [31:22] What Ben knows is from experience. We can use our struggles for His glory. [32:57] Elliott struggles between the balance of spiritual and religious. It's important for him to have the balance and feed himself spiritually. [34:40] Someone who hasn't struggled with addiction can't help him like someone who has could. [36:49] The difference between religion and spirituality for Elliott was a shift in his heart. [39:06] Spirituality is about the relationship you build with your higher power. [43:11] If people are out there struggling, they should just hold on because they can recover. Links and Resources: Chapel Hill Medical Detox Real Elliott Hughes on Facebook Real Elliott Hughes on Instagram

Joyce Matera is the National Marketing Director for Inspire Recovery. Inspire is located in West Palm Beach and it's specifically for people under the LGBTQ umbrella with a specific focus on helping transgender people. Having a safe place for people to go where they can be who they are and get help with like minded people while going through recovery is so important. Tom, Ben, and Joyce talk about Joyces background and how she got involved in the community and recovery industry. Joyce shares some of the issues that are specific to clients at Inspire and why it is so important to find a peer group that they can trust. They talk about important aspects of recovery and how it specifically applies to this underserved community. Show Notes [02:21] Joyce has been in recovery for 35 years. She was a gay activist during the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. [02:40] A lot of her friends passed away from AIDs. It was also hard for gay people with human rights issues. [03:01] She moved to Florida about 12 years ago. She discovered there were treatment centers all over the place. She wanted to do service and saw a gay guy getting bullied at an AA meeting. [03:50] She realized there were no treatment options specifically for people in the LGBTQ community. She opened Lambda North which was a 12-step clubhouse. [04:07] They have a lot of events for support and meetings. [04:20] Inspire Recovery in West Palm Beach is specifically for the LGBTQ community. Joyce helps educate people about issues related to the treatment facility. [05:34] People are housed at Inspire Recovery according to their personality, because they don't see gender. [06:18] People fall in love at treatment centers all the time. [06:55] Most treatment centers are gender specific. Many treatment centers don't know how to house transgender people, so there was a need for this specific treatment center. [08:26] They have created a community where people can get peer support and find sponsors and go through the Big Book and whatever things they need to do. [10:15] Everything operates like a regular treatment center. They just don't separate clients by gender. [10:42] Most of the staff is under the LGBTQ umbrella and is in long-term recovery. Everyone can still use training. [13:18] The goal is to bring out the human factor in each person. They are just experts in the LGBTQ community and the transgender community. [15:44] A lot of the community hid their identity. It's a lot easier for younger people to be who they are. [16:39] They also get clients in their 50s and 60s who have shame over their identity. [17:15] If a center isn't a good fit, that person needs to be referred to a place that is a better fit. [19:08] At Inspire, they believe hormone replacement therapy is a human rights issue. They have created a safe place to explore. [21:32] The transgender community is a underserved population that has been marginalized all of their lives. Inspire is the only place that helps predominantly transgender people. [25:57] Groups at Inspire are centered around healing, trauma, and bullying. [26:57] People used to stay at Inspire for a year, now the program is two to three months. [28:16] Many people stay in the area after building a community and finding peers. [30:25] If you're struggling with your sexual identity or gender identity and need a safe place, give inspire a call. They are open 24/7. Links and Resources: Inspire Recovery (561)899-6088 Joyce Matera on LinkedIn Lambda North

Josh McBride now works at Coastal Detox after his own experience with recovery. Josh's journey is different from many people's. He was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease at an early age, and eventually his pain management led him to addiction and moving to street drugs. Passing out in his car, led him to a 75-day stay in jail without any drugs or medication. Josh shares his journey with Tom and Ben. He talks about how he didn't have a lot of resources and had to turn to county and free resources. He also talks about the mind shift he had that convinced him to finally take recovery seriously. His story is unique and his perspective is inspirational. This is a wonderful conversation about how to think about recovery and how to find a way to accomplish it. Show Notes [02:49] Josh is originally from Orlando. [03:00] At a young age, Josh was diagnosed with crohn's disease. He began using pain meds to control the symptoms of his disease. [03:44] Eventually, he became chemically dependent and struggled with addiction for at least 10 years. [04:45] In his early twenties, he accepted that he wasn't going to live long and just wanted to stay comfortable with this medication. [05:01] Unfortunately, the pain pills led to heroin and in 2011, a police officer found him hunched over in his car. [06:17] He went to pill mills and got pills. [08:53] He ended up selling his prescription drugs and buying street drugs. He overdosed, convinced the doctor in the hospital to give him oxy, and when he was released he shot up in his car. [11:42] People who overdose are medically discharged within an hour. There are gaps. People need to get into treatment after overdosing. [14:08] Josh's experience getting clean is different from the average person's. [14:55] In 2011, when Josh was arrested, he was put in a county jail that had a lot of different rules. He began a cold turkey detox. He was there 75 days. His mom asked the jail to keep him for two more days until a Monday, so he could go straight into a Faith Farm work program. [19:21] He was released on the Saturday, and he walked five miles to a county detox program. They kept him safe for two days, and then his mom took him to Faith Farm. [21:17] He was at Faith Farm for almost two years. [24:18] He had to put in a lot of work with his Christian based recovery. He took feedback even when he didn't believe in it. [27:35] Josh works at Coastal Detox, and it's a great facility. [28:02] People need to be under supervision when they are coming off of drugs. There is also a psychological factor. Coastal offers an interdisciplinary approach, plus all of the client's needs are taken care of. [30:03] Couples need to be split up to be treated in a healthy way. [30:23] There are resources out there for people who don't have good insurance coverage. [33:58] There are many ways for people to get clean. There are different paths. Pay attention to what is available to you. You just need a little motivation and be willing to ask for help when you feel discouraged. Links and Resources: Faith Farm Coastal Detox

Ira Levy is the National Marketing Director of Sunrise Detox. Ira has 28 years in the sobriety industry and has been sober since 1980. Ira got into the industry by accident, but continued to learn, educate himself, and move up. He has worked in every aspect of the industry and is as passionate about helping clients as he is about educating their families. Tom, Ben, and Ira talk about the detox process and what patient and family members can expect. Ira shares some of his own personal experience about how important it is to decide not to use and then find other ways to cope with life events. We talk about the importance of family members learning about addiction, how to find a good treatment facility, and the importance of individualized treatment. Show Notes [03:02] Ira stumbled into the recovery business by accident. 28 years ago he moved to Florida as a health tech and worked his way up. [03:57] The owners of Sunrise Detox needed a marketer who understood the treatment industry. Ira has been with them for 15 years. [04:54] Sunrise started with one facility and perfected their program, and now they have 8 facilities. [05:04] Ira has really worked in every aspect of the industry. [06:52] Ira has been sober since 1980. [08:31] Ira went through [09:18] Ira finally gave sobriety a real try. Mistakes happen in sobriety and life, but you really just need to try. [10:18] A turning point for Ira was when his father passed away, and he wanted to get high. A friend of his said if that will bring your father back let's do it. This was a turning point in his life and he didn't get high. [11:03] Ira tries to get patients at Sunrise to understand some of the right ways to success. [11:55] When something bad happens, and you want to use, stop and think about where you will be in 72 hours. [14:48] Ira is available 7 days a week to speak to families and explain what's going to happen. Sometimes people just want to know what happens in detox. [15:15] Ira tries to educate the patient and let them know what detox going to be like and that it's going to be a positive experience. [15:42] He wants to educate people, and he will help them find the proper place even if Sunrise isn't for them. [17:27] Sunrise won't take people in if it's not a good fit. [18:17] Ira recommends to trust your gut and your gut feeling. You want to feel warm, welcome, and nurtured. [20:26] Education is so important in these centers. The client or patient needs to be detoxed, and the family needs to be educated. [23:52] Sunrise does accept people on methadone. The detox process is longer. It can be done and Sunrise has success. It's usually a 14 to 21 day detox. [26:45] They also mix clinical in with medical. [28:49] MAT or medication-assisted treatment doesn't have a great success rate. It needs to be done right. Treatment needs to be individualized. [32:05] It's a struggle to get insurance companies to cooperate. [35:42] Ketamine is now having a resurgence. [37:58] Contact people who have a passion for recovery and don't make a rash decision. Explore options. [40:14] Research addiction to help your loved one. Go to Al-Anon and learn about the process. [43:59] The average time to get medically stable and detox is 6 or 7 days and then the client can move to a sobriety program. [45:51] After detox, some kind of therapy can be helpful. People need to commit to an aftercare program that fits their life. [48:08] From a medical standpoint, alcohol and benzos are the most medically dangerous to stop cold turkey. Links and Resources: Sunrise Detox Al-Anon

Alex Uslar is the manager of the Hybrid Gym and the Director of Operations for the online company Hybrid Performance Method. Alex is a powerlifting, weight lifting, and crossfit coach. The Hybrid Performance Method is a virtual gym that provides accessible, affordable, and effective online workout programs to athletes of all skill and experience levels. In this episode, we talk about Alex's journey and how he used nutrition and working out to stay sober. Like many addicts, Alex had a rough start and turned to alcohol and drugs. Unlike many, he discovered what he wanted to do at a young age. He was then able to harness that desire and use it as fuel for sobriety. We talk about his journey and how he was able to turn his experience into a positive. Show Notes [02:47] Alex is 26 years old, and he just had his 7 years sobriety date. [02:59] He was born in South Florida and moved to Pensacola when he was 4 years old. [03:15] When he was 13, he moved to Miami. [03:44] He had some emotional and psychological abuse when he was younger. [04:13] He was expelled from private school, and he started public school in the middle of the year. [04:47] It only took two or three days before kids tried to sell him drugs. [05:06] He started smoking marijuana. [05:31] There are people who drink super heavily in the punk rock scene. They're also the straight edge kids. [05:49] Things escalated after 8th grade for him. [06:51] His parents are from Venezuela. [07:18] His family left Venezuela when things got really bad, but his dad stayed over there. [08:01] Ben and Tom see a lot of clients who have had instability in their lives when they were young. [09:12] From 13 to 19, Alex's entire life revolved around music and partying. [10:51] Alex wouldn't change or trade anything that he went through, because without that he wouldn't be where he is now. [12:49] He dropped out of school and in the process, he got arrested. The counseling he had to go through helped him a lot. [17:09] He still went down a super destructive path. When he was 19, he wanted to get his act together. [20:29] The catalyst for him was getting a DM from an older punk rocker who owned a gym. They had similar stories and signing up for the gym was his first day sober. [21:23] He even realized that he wanted to work at a gym. [21:53] Staying sober and staying mentally strong and going to the gym was one of the hardest things he did. He had to relearn how to live. [25:34] He was given an opportunity to do an unpaid internship at the gym. The owner was his mentor in sobriety and coaching. He eventually became one of the head coaches. [32:06] Follow your passion if you work hard, you have the opportunity to rewrite the script. [32:46] Taking steps forward can be uncomfortable. [33:56] Alex became an extrovert as he learned how to sell gym memberships. There weren't any promises that he would get hired. He still worked hard and kept getting more and more work. [35:44] He ended up with the most personal training clients and made more money than anybody at the gym. [36:32] He showed so much ambition and desire that he kept growing and growing until h maximized his abilities and income. [38:52] Alex left his mentor's gym in 2017 to go work for Hybrid. [40:18] They talked three or four days ago. [45:18] People come and go in life sometimes. [47:16] Utilizing fitness and nutrition in sobriety. Alex feels people need something to rely on. [49:39] He believes that you control your thoughts and your actions. [52:06] At the end of the day, we are all trying to get to a better place. [53:58] If you don't want to look for a higher power, find a higher purpose. [55:46] Alex got sober by working out. [57:44] He loved seeing his clients transform. Now his social media following has grown. Links and Resources: Hybrid Performance Method Alex Uslar on Instagram The OK Podcast by Tom Boyden & Jujimufu Stefi Cohen & Alex Uslar

Tom's friend Blake Cohen is here to today to talk about his work, his recovery, and his upcoming book, "I Love You More" which is coming out in June. Tom and Blake have gotten to know each other while being part of a program where they go to schools and talk to students about addiction including everything from vaping to heroin. Blake is the National Outreach Manager at Recovery Unplugged which is a recovery program that includes music as part of the program. Blake and Tom have a lot in common and in this episode, they discuss addiction, recovery, and Blake's story. Blake also talks about why he wrote his book and what the purpose and format is. They both discuss their passion for helping addicts find a way to recovery in a positive life changing way that only gets better over time. Show Notes [03:03] Blake had a great childhood. Sometimes he thinks he's an example of a person who could never develop an addiction. [03:41] He grew up in Boca Raton, Florida. His brother did struggle with addiction. [04:39] When opiates were introduced in Blake's life, he immediately got hooked. He had surgery on his wrist and got a prescription for pain pills when he was 15. [05:30] He loved the way he felt and took the whole bottle in one night. [06:01] He told his mom that he was in a lot of pain and got more pills. [06:44] When he was older he snorted oxycodone. It turned out his neighbor was a dealer. [07:42] Things evolved and Blake got arrested and went to some treatment centers. [08:13] His family held an intervention and sent him to treatment, and he got sober. [09:02] He majored in Psychology at UCF. He then switched to FAU. [10:06] Geographical change doesn't make everything okay. [11:38] Blake's Mom had back pain, and there were pills around. [13:30] Blake got sober at 25. [16:46] When his family found out everything that Blake was doing, he knew it was time to get sober. [18:15] Blake has always enjoyed writing. He believes in visualization and writing a book was one of the schools. [19:06] Blake's book is for the families of the addicts and for people to learn what it is like to go through addiction. There are three short stories that go into recovery, continued use, and overdose and death. [20:01] The book is called, "I Love You More" and it jumps from the different perspectives of people involved. [20:45] It's an easy to read book that brings perspective and has questions at the end that can be tied into a treatment center. [21:08] In his book, the stories are fictional but the emotions are very real. He interviewed people who have been through these situations. [21:22] This book is a powerful tool that can be used by treatment centers. [23:30] Blake currently works for Recovery Unplugged. It's a really special program that has music infused throughout the program. [23:58] He is the National Outreach Manager and he connects Recovery Unplugged with the community. [25:02] Prior to this he worked as a director of admissions at another recovery program. [25:36] The fear of giving tough love is what stops family members from giving their loved ones the push that they need. [27:16] People in active addiction respond to tough love. That's what they need. [30:43] In the beginning of treatment, people need to be prepared to work and take suggestions. [32:48] Once Blake gave AA a real shot it worked out for him. Work the 12-steps. Find a meeting that works for you. [35:16] The more we talk about it and educate people the more comfortable people will feel about asking for help. Links and Resources: Recovery Unplugged Alcoholics Anonymous

Getting clean and sober can be stressful. We try to do everything possible to help people going through recovery deal with stress. It's scientifically proven that exercise will help reduce stress levels. This is why we can't emphasize the importance of exercise enough in the process of getting clean and sober. Today's episode is about exercise and why it is important to incorporate into your journey. Tom and Ben will be discussing this important topic along with the benefits of exercising throughout the recovery process and how exercise can affect your overall physical and mental well being. It can even have an effect on heart health and inflammatory issues. Show Notes [02:23] Stress reduction. Exercise is a natural stress reducer. It naturally correlates with the chemicals in your brain. It also gives you an opportunity to take your mind off of whatever you've been thinking about for the day. [03:42] Getting clean and sober can be stressful. There are a lot of things that you aren't used to doing that you now have to do while you're sober. [04:20] There is even research out there that shows stress can cause heart and inflammatory issues. [04:50] Exercise also incorporates into time management. Going to the gym right after work gives you an opportunity to step away from the stressors of the day. [05:46] If you exercise, you get better sleep. Most people in recovery are prescribed some type of sleep aid. It's hard to fall asleep when you first begin recovery. [06:52] It's extremely beneficial to wean off of the sleep meds, and exercise can help you do this. [09:57] Seroquel is an antipsychotic used for sleep. It makes you tired and makes you sleep. Tom became dependent on it. [11:29] Tom has to do something exercise-related during the day even if it's just going for some walks. It definitely helps him sleep. [12:15] In Ben's opinion, sleep medication helps maintain the addicts behavior and mentality. [13:11] While we're sleeping our bodies rejuvenate and repair themselves. [13:51] Improves mood. Exercising actually improves your mood. Exercise helps with the depression and anxiety that people in recovery frequently have. [15:45] We just built a gym and run our clients through a workout routine. We ask them to pay attention to their mood before and after the exercise. We frequently see people walk out of the exercise session with a smile on their face. [17:32] Opiates release endorphins. A runner's high is similar to the endorphins from opiates. It's the same chemicals on the brain. [19:48] Most people who get regular exercise aren't depressed. [20:10] CrossFit or something with a community workout gives people a sense of accomplishment. [21:15] We find exercises that we can modify for all of our clients. [22:06] Increase of energy. Energy capital. Even though exercising expends energy, by exercising you end up with more energy throughout the day. [24:05] Coffee and energy drinks are not the only way to energize. [25:26] If you work out you sleep better, if you sleep better you have more energy. It all comes full circle. [26:01] Exercise gives you a stronger immune system. It's important to have a strong immune system during recovery, because you don't want to get sick. [27:20] Exercise can help push out the last of the detox process. [28:49] Pot is fat soluble and can store in your fat cells. [30:07] Exercising as a whole will help with relapse prevention. [30:24] It's a challenge, it gives you purpose, it's something you enjoy, you sleep better and feel better. [30:59] Also add good nutrition and have a sense of community or a 12-step program, and you will be setting yourself up for success. [31:44] Tom just competed in a US powerlifting competition. [32:29] A big part of recovery is fellowship. [35:12] We have seen exercise work time and time again. It helps with mood and everything else. [35:47] This is why we incorporate exercise into our programs. We give people the tools they need and coach them through the workouts. Links and Resources: Ep. 27 – Is Steroid Use in Recovery Considered a Relapse?

Cotton Fever is the name of a condition that is caused by bacteria getting into the blood and creating extreme flu like symptoms and uncontrollable shaking. Unfortunately, addicts will use cotton to filter heroin before injecting it. If the cotton contains bacteria, it can get into the syringe and then the addict's blood stream and create this condition. In this episode, Tom and Adam discuss the symptoms and Ben shares some personal experiences that happened, before he was in recovery. The whole purpose of this episode is to make people aware of this condition, the symptoms, and what to do if they experience these symptoms. We also talk about the deeper issue of finding help for addiction and eliminating these dangerous behaviors. Show Notes [02:05] Cotton fever is caused by germs left in cotton that is used to filter drugs before being put in a syringe. The bacteria gets injected into the bloodstream. [04:24] Ben and his girlfriend both got cotton fever. He shot the heroin, and then got a severe headache, involuntary muscle shaking, and severe flu like symptoms. [05:38] His roommates could hear him moaning and got him some Tylenol and NyQuil. [06:20] Cotton fever doesn't seem to be fatal, but the symptoms are severe. Ben was scared when he saw his fiance go through it. [07:54] She was really frightened and even called her mother. They wanted to go to the hospital but were afraid of getting arrested. [08:15] They waited it out through the night. They felt a little better in the morning. [08:56] There isn't a lot of medical research on cotton fever. It is similar to flu like symptoms. Fever, nausea, anxiety, shaking, it can mimic withdrawal. [10:32] The symptoms are a bit different than withdrawal. [11:38] If it doesn't subside in a few hours or days, an antibiotic is necessary to kill the bacteria in the bloodstream. [12:24] It's probably not safe to assume that your severe symptoms are cotton fever. Seek help if something is wrong. [13:32] Ben also had a girlfriend who got a staph infection in her arm. [14:46] Ben was in detox and a woman who was there shot heroin with well water that wasn't sterilized and got an infection in her brain through her blood. [16:14] Opiates take a lot of the part of the brain that gives you the ability to have logical thought. [18:50] Addiction is scary and can cause people to make very bad decisions when it comes to how they get high. [20:44] If you think you have cotton fever don't freak out too much. Treat it with some Tylenol, take a warm bath and get some sleep. Drink water not alcohol. [21:24] The main thing that Adam wants to talk about is you shouldn't shoot heroin in the first place. [21:39] There are so many dangers involved. It's like Russian Roulette. Especially with all the dangerous fentanyl floating around. [23:19] If you're making a phone call about cotton fever or you're concerned about cotton fever, there is something wrong. [24:12] If you're having symptoms, and you feel you need to see a doctor, please go see a doctor. Links and Resources: [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]

Tom and Benjamin B. are joined by Keith. Keith is a rockstar when he plays the guitar. He is also here to talk about why it's so important to have structure within sober living. There are some places that don't have any structure, but a guy like Keith could whip them into shape really fast. Keith is a behavioral health tech. He has also been a house manager, and he is a recovering addict. He tells it like it is, but is able to do it in a way where he doesn't offend people and is able to gain the respect of the clients. This episode is a great insight into how structure can help someone move forward with their life. Show Notes [03:00] Ben and Keith have known each other for at least three years now. Keith is also in recovery, and he is a behavioral health tech. [03:12] Keith is known for some methods that are tied into the structure and regimen that we are going to be talking about today. [03:30] Keith is an addict. He came to Florida in 2013 from a homeless shelter. This is where he first learned to start having a regimen. [04:16] He didn't want to be drunk, high, and irresponsible anymore. [05:12] Get up in the morning, make your bed, do your dishes, take a shower, and take care of yourself. [05:42] A lot of clients that we deal with tend to be a little bit spoiled. Keith had limited resources, but took what was available and applied what he needed to. [07:06] Keith was grateful to have a roof over his head at the homeless shelter when it was snowing outside. [08:04] Keith lost everything and anything that came to him after that he considers a gift. [10:27] Tom and Ben both started this text as well. [10:47] Keith demands respect, and he is very straightforward with his clients. [12:53] Clients spend 90% of the day with the techs, and it might just be the most important position here. [13:53] You have to think about what the client is going through. [15:18] People aren't perfect. Who runs treatment centers? People. [17:03] The work actually starts after you get sober. [17:34] A house manager is someone with a certain amount of sobriety time. This is one of the hardest positions to find. [19:13] It's really a job on top of a job. [20:28] Being a house manager was an opportunity that Keith took while he was also working another full-time job. [20:42] This was his opportunity to make things different and fix things that were wrong when he was a client. [22:02] Keith has flipped mattresses, and even set up a guy's entire room in a gazebo. [24:04] Keith is always involved in exciting stuff, and his life looks like a blast. The clients seem to pick up on that. [25:00] He'll go diving and jump out of a plane all in one day. He has also broken every bone in his body. [26:34] Say what you mean, but don't say it mean. [29:05] Experience is what Keith had to bring to the table. [31:25] There is meant to be confrontation in treatment. The job is to give people the opportunity to utilize coping skills. [33:15] It's a client's responsibility to contribute to the safety of the treatment program. [34:07] There are people from all walks of life with every defect in the house. [36:22] Keith has opinions that bring truth and help the treatment plan have balance. [41:41] Keith is from the Bronx. He presents himself for who he is. Links and Resources: AA

Adam and Tom are joined by Myles today. Myles is 23 years old, and this is his first serious time in treatment. When he was 19, his parents forced him to go into treatment, but his heart wasn't into it. He left after 20 days. He shares his journey and how alcohol contributed to a serious health issue. Myles is now committed to treatment. In this episode, we talk about what has changed for him and what has shifted in his head to convince him to take treatment more seriously. He also shares how he went from a lonely place to feeling connected and being part of the community. Show Notes [03:57] Myles started drinking at the bar, and then just started drinking about a fifth of whiskey each night. [05:43] His parents got divorced when he was six. [06:44] His dad got remarried when he was seven, and he had a new stepmom and two step sisters. [07:23] Myles was by himself when he was six during those formative years. Drugs and alcohol became an escape for a period of time. [08:14] He loved pot the first time he tried it. [08:41] When he was a senior in high school his pot smoking really took off. [09:23] He played division 3 NCAA football. He was an offensive line left guard. He was around 300 pounds. [10:21] He lost around 70 lbs in his first year of football. He then packed all the weight back on, because he was drinking. Then he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and ended up in the hospital and lost all the weight. [11:00] The doctors think the congestive heart failure was related to the drinking. [13:19] Drinking and smoking weed temporarily made Myles problems go away. [15:47] Myles went to live with his grandparents in Savannah, Georgia. The isolation became worse, and he started drinking again. [18:25] Father Martin says if we don't handle our emotions they will always handle us. [19:07] If you hold emotions in, they are going to come out in negative ways. [20:23] Myles loved it when he first came to Florida. He needed help, because he couldn't put the bottle down by himself. [22:07] He is harnessing his past as a positive. [23:58] Myles wants to feel like he belongs and being part of the recovery community is helping him get there. [24:38] He found that he can contribute to the community and that life is worth living. [26:25] Myles was reluctant to feel vulnerable, because it made him feel like he was searching for pity or that he didn't deserve sympathy. [27:35] He finally saw that he had to be vulnerable to heal. He is getting over a lifetime of holding things in. This made him feel lighter. [30:04] Not letting people in can feel safe, but it's also very damaging. [31:17] Myles was actually thinking about continuing to smoke weed, but he realized that it wasn't a good idea for him. [33:35] Reach out don't make excuses to be alone in life. Links and Resources: Father Martin's Chalk Talk on Alcohol

Our Guest today is Matthew the musician. He has never been to treatment before and is 1 day clean. he is going to share his story and what his expectations are. Since he has never been to treatment before this is going to be a learning experience for him. In this show, he gets the opportunity to ask us questions and we get the opportunity to ask him questions. This show is a good Insight on the perspective of someone who has never done this before and is 1 day clean. Rene and Benjamin join Tom today in this special show with Matt. Show Notes [03:11] Matt has a twin brother and life has been pretty great. He moved from Connecticut to Westchester, New York when he was about 10. [03:26] He started using pot when he was 11, and then moved on to psychedelics, heroin, and benzos. [04:26] He used substances for about 22 years. [04:47] When he was 11, he took a cigarette out of the ashtray that turned out to be pot. Age 15 and 16 were formative years for his drug use. [06:36] When he was around 12, he started playing guitar and got into music. [08:00] Matt wants to get sober and take his music career further. [09:06] Matt hasn't seen his child in five years, and he believes it's due to his lifestyle choices. [12:15] Matt is interested in finding out why he took such comfort in changing his state of mind when he was younger. [13:39] His motivating factor in seeking treatment is that he's just really tired. [17:27] Matt knows he needs help and can't do it alone. That is why he is here. [19:23] He hopes that life is different in a more positive productive way when he is done with treatment. [20:48] Matt tried AA last year. [22:27] The recovery culture and 12-step meetings in South Florida are amazing. [24:02] AA and NA give us an opportunity to devote time to our recovery. [24:24] Matt is going to be here in treatment for the next 30 days. [25:01] Being open to suggestion is the best place someone can be when they choose to go to treatment. [25:47] Matt doesn't know how he'll feel at the end of the 30 days, he's not sure if he'll be completely cured. [26:22] The most important thing for Matt is getting better. [27:08] After 30 days of treatment, people rarely go back to life like nothing has happened. [29:48] Doing it alone is impossible. [29:52] It's a daunting task to cure people in 30 days. It takes about three weeks just to get a feel of how a person is. [32:04] People like Matt need people like Ben and Rene and Tom who devote their time to helping people. [33:34] It's refreshing to see someone with Matt's attitude. Links and Resources: AA Narcotics Anonymous

Mark Jennison the founder and CEO of I Am A Comeback is here today. I Am A Comeback is a program created by Mark to help men who are high-level earners and executives get their addiction under control. He has an online component, and he holds his clients accountable by texting them everyday. Mark helps many men get back on track. One of the interesting things about him is that he takes a very different approach than I do. His unique approach is different than AA. It doesn't even focus on complete abstinence. Although, that is the goal. It is about the Comeback 7. Find out about Mark and his wild story and his unique program that is helping men to regain control of their lives. Show Notes [02:03] The whole purpose of recovery is to make sure that you get better. Addiction doesn't discriminate. [02:49] Mark is 38 years old. He had been drinking and using drugs since he was 14 years old. He has been clean and sober for four years. [03:19] Things got rocky when he was 19 or 20 years old. [03:45] He was dating a woman who became a stripper, and it broke his heart. This was the catalyst for finding ways to take away the hurt. [04:26] He moved to Southern California and drugs and drinking were prevalent. Being able to drink other people under the table to find who he was. [05:00] He drank in Southern California from 2000 to 2007. [05:39] He then began doing crystal meth. It seemed like it made him better, until it made him worse. [06:25] He then went back to Wisconsin and slept on his brother's couch. [06:51] His uncle owned a trucking company. Mark helped grow the company into a different company. [07:37] He was still involved with drugs and alcohol, but he now had the ability to make money. [08:02] He built the company into a multimillion-dollar company. He also got married and had a child. [08:17] He still drank, did drugs, and went to strip clubs. [08:52] He went from being a millionaire to his life unraveling. He went on a trip to Jamaica and when he came home his business was in shambles. [09:25] He wasn't able to make payroll, and his company failed. [09:55] He lost the business in 2013. He hit rock bottom and was suicidal. [11:35] He met a girl who was using heroin and next thing you know he started doing heroin. A friend of his joined them and then OD'd on heroin. [12:42] Mark lost everything. [13:29] He then got sober for a brief time and built another business. [14:17] He then started network marketing an sold Isagenix protein shakes. [15:36] He then started selling cars. Once he had cash, he started drinking again. [16:17] It seemed like he would always relapse between May and July after getting sober. [16:32] He went to a treatment center in Rockford, Illinois. He got out after 28 days. [18:09] He did just one shot which led to many more shots and another relapse and more heroin. [18:29] It took six hours for him to leave rehab and relapse. [21:05] After relapsing over and over, Mark decided to finally get his life back. [23:21] AA didn't work for him, so he went to a church. [24:33] He started putting pieces in place like faith, family, fitness, and making money. [25:31] His moral inventory wasn't about who he hurt, it was more about why he hurt. [30:02] There are parallels between Mark and Tom's life, because they were both in the car business. [30:36] Tom got baptized when he was 23 years old. The 12 Steps also played a big part in his life. [32:06] It doesn't make sense to mark that there is only one way to get sober. [32:58] People who have the resources go to South Florida to get sober. [33:29] People value what they put their money into. [34:57] Mark's clientele are high-level sales executives and people like himself. Making money is an important part of his program. [35:41] Mark has 81 guys in his program, and he texts each of them individually every day. He helps to pivot their mindset. [36:57] He doesn't promote complete abstinence. [37:16] At some point, the amount of people is going to outgrow his methods for accountability. He already has a plan in place to solve that issue. [37:29] His plan works because his clients are connected to him 24/7. [38:23] They have online group discussions on Tuesdays and Thursdays. [38:57] He wants to be a rival for AA. [40:23] Mark's plan is specifically for men. They go through his funnel and have to make 12 micro commitments before joining. [41:26] He is located in Wisconsin. [42:28] One of his approaches is that alcohol isn't the problem, it's the solution. The problem is really what is fueling the addiction. [43:31] According to Mark, drinking alcohol is a choice that you make. [44:51] Alcohol makes it easy not to think about stuff. [45:17] Mark works with his clients for 45 days. There is a six-week course. The first thing is mindset. Then they assess where they are. The third thing they work on his confidence. The fourth thing is balancing your life with new ideas. [46:19] Mark doesn't believe in balance. he believes in abundance. [46:29] In week 5, t

Rene and Nick are here today to talk with Tom about sober living. We are going to talk about what it consists of. What to watch for. What to expect. When is the right time to leave? We are even going to talk about how do you even know if you've left successfully. Nick and Rene are very successful at running sober living facilities. They share their expertise and help us to understand what the process is like. A sober house is a house where you remain sober. Find out about the clinical component and the other aspects in this episode. Show Notes [02:59] A sober living house consists of addicts and alcoholics. [03:19] Sometimes they are associated with an insurance based group therapy or an IOP. [03:40] They're all kinds of rules including remaining sober and drug test and breathalyzers. [04:04] You typically work some type of program like AA or NA. [04:19] You go to meetings, and you have a sponsor and work the 12 steps. [05:33] Rene believes that being in a sober environment with other people who have the same goal as you is key to sustaining sobriety. [06:07] Some homes don't own the clinical aspect of it. This may not be the most efficient way to get sober. [06:23] Rene believes that clinical and housing should be all in one. [07:02] People are often on their best behavior in groups. It can be different at home. [08:10] Not having housing and clinical tied together can lead to a breakdown in communication. [08:51] Housing that's not tied to a clinical component is better for people who've already completed their first treatment program. [10:26] Red flags to look out for in sober living. [11:03] A sober living house should be ran as if the client is still in treatment. They should require a certain amount of sober time and not allow couples. [12:12] If a sober living house lets someone back in three days after they relapse it looks like a revolving door. [13:01] Not getting drug tested is also a red flag. [15:29] FARR certification goes through everything. These places tend to do what they are supposed to do. [16:29] These are things to look out for whether you are interested in sober living for yourself or if you are a parent or loved one of someone going to sober living. [17:48] Working and paying the rent is a very important piece of recovery. People need to look for a job, so they can pay rent. Jobs also fill time. [19:18] Getting a job is about learning how to grow up and be an adult. Once you get a job, then you can look at what you might want to do for a career or school. [25:11] What can you expect when moving into sober living? [25:30] The biggest challenge is having to follow the rules. The structure is set up for success. You need to follow the rules, although it can be hard. [29:04] There is a correlation between organizing your stuff and staying sober. [32:07] Not doing your chores doesn't mean you won't stay sober but it does mean you have a problem with authority. Listening and doing things you don't want to do can help you stay sober. [34:50] People are going to eat your food and upset you. [35:17] There's bound to be conflict, but if there wasn't any conflict no one would grow. [36:18] Sober living isn't comfortable. Real life is filled with challenges also. [37:00] The amount of time it takes to graduate from sober living is different for everyone. Nick thinks 9 months is a good amount of time. If it takes a year to live sober and clean, it is worth it. [38:24] Your first year of sobriety should probably be under some form of sober living. [40:09] Even though sober living takes time, it goes by really quickly. [41:00] Do your research before you go into a sober living facility. [41:01] Take suggestions and don't ask questions Links and Resources: AA NA FARR

Our guest today, is Devon. He has a heck of a story and is willing to share some of the sacrifices he had to make in order to get sober. Getting sober can be challenging. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. There are sacrifices that have to be made. Some of them aren't too bad, but some of them are so difficult not everyone can make them. Devon has done what it takes to become sober, and he shares that with us here today. Show Notes [02:56] Devon has 80 Days of clean time. [03:28] Devon has gotten clean in the past, but the longest it lasted was 110 days. [03:25] After 45 days of treatment in Florida, he went home and worked the program for about a month, he didn't work the program in the last month and that's when problems happened. [04:02] His biggest accomplishment so far is graduating from high school early and getting an opportunity to go to any Big Ten college he wanted to. [06:14] At age 11, he started taking Vyvanse prescribed by his doctor. [06:58] Vyvanse is a stimulant similar to Adderall. [08:02] He switched from Vyvanse and Adderall over to marijuana. [09:29] After High School, he experimented with other things from Xanax to alcohol. [10:32] The first time he tried rehab he didn't put in the work. He just thought of it as sort of a vacation. [14:26] Going home after getting sober can be extremely uncomfortable. We can't be in the same atmosphere we used to be in. [16:19] Devon missed the birth of his child while he was in rehab. He also had to give up his old lifestyle. He also doesn't have family in Florida. [17:46] Devon had to give up certain jobs that he had back home, because they would be a bad influence towards his sobriety. [18:38] He even created a whole new social media profile, so he could keep up with people in Florida and not be influenced by his old friends. [19:08] For him, the big sacrifices are giving up comfort and familiarity to embrace a new healthier lifestyle. [20:51] He talks to his family daily over FaceTime. He gets to see his mom and his daughter and his sister. [23:23] It would be selfish for him to have his girlfriend move down to Florida when all of her family and support group is back home. [24:49] People are often afraid to go to treatment and leave their children behind, but if you look at the path of destruction they have been on stepping away is the best thing. [26:37] After having recovered, Ben has the opportunity to be the best dad he can possibly be. [28:29] This is also an extreme life change for Devon's girlfriend. To be a good dad, Devon can't bypass this process. [31:04] It can take yours from going from a liability to an asset in a family. It takes time for people to recognize that. When the tables turn and your family reaches out to you for help it feels good. [31:51] Some accomplishments that Devon wants to achieve is he wants to hit 90 days and then go for that all-important year. He also wants to finish the 12 steps. He also plans to go back to college. [32:20] He wants to major in architecture or auto body paint. [32:47] Devon really wants to be the best father I can be for my child. Devon wants to be an asset for my family. He wants to own his own home, get a car, and set himself up for retirement. [35:14] What you are doing now is directly going to affect what happens in the future. [36:44] For Ben, getting sober was the hardest thing he ever did in his life. [37:33] The challenge of alcoholism and addiction is underestimated by many people. [39:20] Final thoughts are to stay sober and do the right thing.

We are going to discuss what exactly you should look for when getting a sponsor in this episode. We will also talk about what to watch out for. There are people out there who in my opinion have no business being a sponsor. By the end of this episode, you should be able to identify the rules of a sponsor, their primary purpose, and what it looks like if they overstep their boundaries. Tom is joined by Benjamin B. and Billy Badass. We are coming to you from South Florida the recovery capital of the United States. People come here to get clean and sober every day of the week. There is a very fluent AA and NA community. Wherever people are in AA and NA, you have to have sponsors. If you are looking for a sponsor, this episode should help you discern if you've found the right person. [bctt tweet=""Anyone who has ever been addicted or who has dealt with addiction knows that there's a breaking point where they don't want to deal with it anymore." -Mark Bell" username="realrecoverytlk"] Show Notes [04:40] The job of a sponsor should be providing inspiration. [05:00] It's a sponsor job to share their experience. They need to take the clear precise directions that come from the big book. [06:25] They need to stick to the steps and share their experience. [07:52] A sponsor can give another viewpoint and help look at things from a different angle. [09:49] Sponsorship and having someone to guide you and show you the message is absolutely vital. [10:41] It's a sponsor's responsibility to share that their opinions are opinions and if they give advice that is not part of the 12-step program be clear that it is not part of the program. It is just something that they've found helpful. [13:20] The sponsors job is to take the sponsee through the 12 steps. [14:33] Sponsors aren't there to tell you what to do. They can give suggestions. [15:36] A sponsor starts out as an instructor who teaches people a method that already exists. They then end up as a teacher who shows people how to think on their own. [17:22] The 12th step is sponsoring someone. That is where the magic happens if you want to see growth in somebody. [18:42] A sponsor isn't in the results business, they are in the business of just showing up. [22:33] If all you do is plant a seed it's good. Don't withhold the truth or have people call you for 30 days before helping them. [24:52] Be willing to help people. [25:52] A sponsor doesn't have to be clean and sober for a year before sponsoring someone. [28:58] The steps are laid out in the textbook. Go through it together. [29:34] A sponsorship is a promise. [35:15] You get a sponsor and do the step work, so you can find out about yourself and the disease. [36:23] Having a sponsor helps with the treatment side and the accountability. Treatment and 12 step work are two different things. [37:15] Nobody should be forced to go to an AA meeting. Being in treatment and having the willingness to do whatever it takes goes along with attending AA. [38:43] You have to find meetings and fellowships that you like. Don't let any certain individuals make you condemn AA as a whole. [39:23] Some people don't buy into AA and then other people are way over the top. [40:26] Doctors should be utilized. Most sponsors aren't doctors or therapists. [41:08] Ben believes that the 12-step programs are the best way to get sober. He also believes that opinions can kill alcoholics. He believes that sponsors should not overstep their boundaries. [42:14] 100% of Ben's sponsees who have done all 11 steps and then became sponsors and continue to do the work stay sober. [44:12] To find a good sponsor take suggestions from other people. [44:47] Put yourself out there You have to be okay with getting uncomfortable. [bctt tweet=""Anyone can get addicted to anything at any moment. We should always be on the lookout because too much of any one thing isn't great." -Mark Bell" username="realrecoverytlk"] Links and Resources: Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous Ebby Thacher The Big Book

I am in West Sacramento, CA with Mark Bell of Super Training Gym. Mark is a powerlifter and entrepreneur who has had his own experiences with addiction. In this episode, Mark shares his early exposure to addiction and talks about how everybody needs something to hold onto while overcoming addiction. Mark shares all kinds of knowledge like how exercise and nutrition can make everything better and the importance of looking into why you have certain behaviors. Mark is a husband, father, gym owner, powerlifter, inventor, podcaster, and inspiring guy. This podcast is packed with knowledge and inspiration that will help anyone start to look at addiction in a different light and make positive changes towards their life. Show Notes [01:34] I am with Mark Bell of the Super Training Gym in West Sacramento, CA. [01:55] Training here has been a huge deal for me. I have been following Mark for 5 or 6 years. I wanted to get into powerlifting. [03:28] When people get clean and sober they want to change everything. I tell them to take it slow. The men always want to get jacked. [04:09] Mark's first experience with addiction. There was a lot in his family and he recognized it at a very young age. [04:56] Every year they dreaded going to Marks Mom's side of the family's house, but then they enjoyed going to his Dad's side of the family's house. [06:35] As a kid, Mark was always slightly uneasy when he went to his mom's family's house. [06:57] A lot of his mom's family struggled with addiction. [11:44] There's always a possibility that your child could end up being addicted to something. [12:48] Addicted people are no longer really in control. [14:22] If you are struggling with drugs and alcohol try to find one thing that you can hold on to like lifting weights or something. [16:21] When people give up drugs and alcohol it's like losing their best friend. [19:38] Sometimes Mark likes to get away from weight lifting and focus on his health. [21:33] A lot of great things happen when you're forced to do something. A strong why will help you figure out how. [25:08] Hold on to something and tell yourself that you have the discipline to do something until it is finished. [28:18] Why would you continue to do something that's harming other people in your life that you care for? [29:47] When you are addicted to something that suffocates you and consumes your life in your time. [36:48] People need to distinguish what being sober means to them. It's your own internal definition of what being sober means. Kratom could be a new addiction, it depends on why people use it. [42:34] Nutrition and exercise can be helpful towards any problem that you have. [44:40] What you put in your mouth is going to directly affect how you feel. [47:14] People in active addiction can't take ownership of anything and everything is someone else's fault. [49:04] Constant movement promotes constant movement. Do more be more. [50:11] Move a muscle change a thought. If you lay around on the couch all day that's exactly what you're going to get. [51:16] A 10-minute walk is a great life lesson because you can do 10 minutes of anything. [52:23] Look into why you're not doing the things that you should be doing. If you just do the things you're supposed to do, even if you don't want to do them, you will be so much further ahead of everyone else. [55:04] Coming clean with pornography addiction is very difficult. Even more difficult than coming clean with alcohol or drug use. [55:34] You have to be careful about what you put in your brain. [57:16] Mark usually does his personal development stuff from 4 to 6 a.m. This includes drinking some water maybe going outside going for a walk or listening to a podcast. [59:10] He plans his days in advance, so he can get done what he wants to get done. [59:43] He then cooks for his kids, goes to some meetings, gets to work out, and create his podcast. [01:02:04] Mark tries to get people excited about fitness even though it's a long painful process. [01:02:50] Mark can take wisdom that he learned from lifting and apply it to other areas of life. [01:03:35] Gain knowledge on the things you love to do and have those be part of your life. [01:04:36] Everyone possesses the ability to learn, gain more knowledge, and be stronger. Our abilities are endless once we open up our minds. [01:05:20] The more you can learn about yourself the more you can help other people. [01:05:57] If you are struggling right now reach out and ask for help. [01:06:46] If you recognize that someone has an addiction problem, take them out to lunch and see what's going on. Links and Resources: Mark Bell Sling Shot Mark Bell Super Training Gym @MarkSmellyBell on Twitter Mark Bell on Instagram Mark Bell's Power Project Mark Bell's Power Project iTunes

We have a round table with a group of addicts and alcoholics. We are all sitting here in a circle. We're going to talk about real life experiences when it comes to getting clean, staying clean, and what treatment is like. We also talk about what they've been going through and the struggles that they have. We also talk about what they're looking forward to. Chris, Evan, Casey, Dylan, and James kick off the discussion with what they were going through prior to treatment. We talk about turning points and the actual treatment process once they are here. Everyone shares their struggles and more in this episode. Show Notes [03:38] The group consists of Chris, Evan, Casey, Dylan, and James who are first going to talk about some of the barriers they had prior to treatment. [04:13] Life blowing up in your face is one of the things that gets you to treatment. [05:16] Evan was only 16, and he was embarrassed about his drug use. He overdosed and his parents knew something needed to be done. [08:34] Accepting that you are an alcoholic is a big part of going to treatment and having it work. [09:58] Changing things like beginning to exercise and who you hang out with can help, but you really do need the treatment process. [12:31] Everybody shares what they struggle with the most while they're in treatment. [12:59] For Chris, relationships are a struggle while in treatment. He needs to find relationships with people who have long-term sobriety. [16:24] People have different reasons for coming to rehab. [18:28] Certain things that you have done in the past can lead to misery. Don't repeat those behaviors that lead back to addiction. Don't get overconfident. [19:37] You don't realize how much you actually have until you look at it everyday and see all the things you have to be grateful for. [20:55] Go to treatment where you're going to be living. Build a support network because 30 days isn't enough. [22:52] A lot of people have the urgency to progress forward. Goals have to happen within a certain time frame. It can't be rushed. [25:49] Sometimes people with heroin addiction think that they can drink. There isn't much of a difference with the addiction aspect and needing to change something about yourself with a substance that you will use to an extreme. [30:42] Be okay with what you feel and what you think and try to find the core reason why you're putting these substances in your body in the first place. [31:37] Drinking begins as a social thing than it progresses to something more when you have the addictive mentality and the addictive mindset. [32:59] If you're not a drug addict or an alcoholic, you may never discover some of the things from childhood that are holding you down. [33:27] Tom's addiction has given him the opportunity to look at everything that has happened in his past. [35:12] Fears that come when treatment comes to an end. [36:02] It's crucial to build a foundation around people who are serious about recovery. [36:28] Reach out and find people in meetings to hold you accountable. [37:56] A big fear is what are you going to do when no one is watching you. [39:59] Stay as long as you can and make sure you are ready to go home. There's a good chance that home isn't a sober place to be. [40:35] When you go to treatment be completely open-minded and let the people there make the decisions for you. [41:03] Do your research on treatment places before you go, and 30 days isn't enough. Take your time, because you can't fix your problems and do what you have to do when you're using. [41:54] Be careful who you associate with. Get in a 12-step program. Take some time and sit with yourself.

There is no shortage of people who need to be in recovery. Many people in recovery consider at one point or another working in the industry. There are wrong reasons and right reasons to work in the addiction recovery business. Today Tom, Ben, Adam, and Renee discuss how and why they got into the business. We also talk about the right reasons and the wrong reasons to get into the business. We talk about the challenges and complete chaos that happens as well as the joy of seeing people succeed. We talk how you have to have a desire to help people to be successful and why your own recovery is a separate thing. Show Notes [02:00] Why would somebody want to work with a bunch of addicts? [02:48] Adam asks why wouldn't someone want to work in this field? It is so rewarding. Even though, there is chaos all the time and so many moving parts. [03:06] Adam went to school to become a counselor. He tried several things, but working with the addiction population is way more exciting and fun. [05:55] Adam has a four-year degree with a specialty major in something related to psychology and a graduate degree in mental health counseling. He had two years of supervised work. Then he sat for his exam. Then he can go out and help people. [07:45] Adam was told do what you love and the money will follow and he loved helping people. [09:20] There's a common story in the helping profession, people have just been doing it their whole lives. [11:49] It's pretty natural for a lot of our clients to decide to get into this field. There is definitely a right way to do it and a not so right way to do it. [12:29] If you go full time to the addiction program it's 18 months. [12:48] The South Florida Shuffle is when people come down here and get into treatment and they start marketing for treatment centers down the road. The South Florida Shuffle is people bouncing from treatment center to treatment center because some street marketer got involved. [15:39] One of the problem is these people don't know anything about the care that these clients will receive. [16:11] There is now less client brokering going on here in South Florida. [16:44] You can also start as a behavioral health tech and work your way up. This is what Ben, Renee, and Tom did. [17:12] This is a great way to find out what it's like and to spend time with clients. [18:47] Legitimately good treatment centers require you to have at least a couple years of being sober.[22:11] We let people know that if they relapse they have a place to come to.[22:27] Renee was managing a pest control company. A friend of hers told her about a job in the recovery industry. At first, she really didn't want to do it.[23:04] Ben was Renee's tech, and she wasn't a good client at that point.[24:02] She was actually blacklisted from that treatment center.[24:59] Renee and Ben ended up working together and Renee was HR and case management.[25:15] Once Renee started working in the field, she never wanted to do anything else. [25:31] Renee loves the fact that we want to make the world better. [27:01] Ben says that Renee is so valuable because there's not much that she can't say to a client or a parent that she hasn't been through. [29:48] Treatment work is not your recovery. Your personal recovery happens outside of work. [30:44] In the addiction industry, you are caring for other people. [34:00] Sometimes Ben feels even more effective helping people outside of work. [37:06] Everybody sees themselves staying in this job for the future. [38:03] They not only love working with clients, but they also love working with each other. People in this field are very passionate. [39:08] The opportunities helping people are amazing. They have built lives that they could never met imagine. They're always trying to find creative ways to treat people. [40:16] If you like helping people and you're strong in your recovery then get in the industry.

To get the right answers, you have to ask the right questions. Today's episode is a recording of a group session led by Tom and Ben. Eric and Casey are their guests. Tom asked these gentlemen to answer the following questions. What is your name? Who are you? What are you interested in? Where are you from? He also asked about what their lifestyles consisted of, what are their backgrounds, values, how people describe them, what people notice about them, future goals, what makes them smile, perfect date, qualities of a life partner, and what do they believe is the key to a successful relationship? As we work through their answers, it'll become clear why Tom asked these questions as he puts a bow on things and ties up the end of the show. Show Notes [03:26] Eric is a person with a strong sense of morals finding his way to a better life on the path of recovery. [03:48] Casey is a brother, son, and uncle who loves music and Pokemon. [04:13] Eric and Casey are both from Georgia. Ben is from South Florida, and Tom is from Pittsburgh, PA. [04:35] Eric is interested in having a good time and being intellectually stimulated. [04:55] Casey likes music, art, Pokemon, social science and self-care. [05:25] Eric works at two stores and is going to five AA meetings and two group sessions. [05:51] Casey is looking for a job. [06:48] Eric has a retail background and is a communications major. He comes from a broken family and was orphaned and moved around. [07:26] His background and fear of abandonment and uncertainty tied into his addiction. [07:41] Casey is one of 10 kids. He has one semester left to graduate. [08:06] Both guys are 24 years old. [08:29] Eric's values include honesty, respect, and doing the right thing no matter how difficult it may be. [08:45] Casey's values include Independence, work ethic, honesty, and creativity. [10:00] Casey has been clean 62 days and Eric 65 days. [10:32] Eric is described as loving and caring yet sometimes irresponsible or incompetent. [11:29] Casey is a good person who makes terrible. His decision-making is getting better. [12:51] Eric is open and easy to talk to. [13:09] Casey comes off as shy but opens up once you start talking to people. [13:32] Ben has been told that he is intimidating. [15:36] Eric's future goals are establishing a career. [17:00] Casey wants to get a job. He wants to get six months sober. He also wants to go back to school and graduate with a degree in anthropology. [17:54] Humor makes Eric smile and random acts of kindness. [18:46] Casey likes seeing himself grow and when his higher power works things out for him. He also loves his nieces. [19:51] One of the first signs of relapse is losing the attitude of gratitude. [21:50] A perfect date for Eric would be dinner, shopping, a movie, and then back to his place. [22:48] A perfect date for Casey would be to go to a mom-and-pop restaurant and then chill outside. There would be lights, a fire, and they would even hang out and drink hot chocolate. [23:46] Eric would want his mate to be honest, caring, resourceful, intelligent, physically attractive, and to love his family. [23:59] Casey would want his mate to be independent, confident, kind, giving, honest, possess a good work ethic, patient, and they would have respect for themselves. [24:14] Compassion, understanding, trust, dependability, and honesty are the keys to a great relationship for Eric. [24:30] Honesty, not relying on each other too much, self-awareness, effective communication, and being able to spend time apart are keys to a great relationship for Casey. [25:16] These questions all came off of match.com. [25:41] The point of all this is a question that Tom noticed from Andy Stanley. The question is are you what you are asking for? [26:18] This is an opportunity to look at your answers to these questions and ask if you are in a position to get in a relationship right now. [26:52] New relationships often cause relapse, because they are an excuse not to focus on yourself. [31:27] Are you exuding the values that you say that you have? [32:19] The recovery process takes an emotional toll and it takes time to heal. It wouldn't be good to jump into a relationship before you are ready. [34:54] Nick shares tips for working on your weaker qualities one by one until they are mastered. [39:30] Even casual dating is opening yourself up emotionally. [41:51] The important thing to understand is relationships right now shouldn't be part of the equation. [42:57] The person you want to date will not be the same person after your 12 steps are completed. [45:24] Anything you put before your recovery and your sobriety, you will lose. Links and Resources: Andy Stanley

David was a guest we had on episode 12 last January. He talked about his journey from addiction to sobriety. That David was a totally different David than today's David. After the episode, he joined the military, had a relapse, and became sober again. We talk about his journey and the LGBT recovery community. He shares how the military was a scapegoat for him, but it didn't work out. He ended up getting discharged and going on a party bender right afterwards. He then went back to detox for a week and spent 90 days in Rock Recovery. He has been sober for eight months now and shares the entire story with us. Show Notes [01:56] David was here at the beginning of the year in Episode 12. He had a slip after the episode was recorded. He has since been sober for about 8 months. [02:00] David joined the military and had a mental and emotional relapse before the physical relapse. [03:03] Recovering addicts and alcoholics are some of the most accepting people on the face of the planet. [03:58] David about nine months ago talked about his journey and going into the military. [04:32] When he knows people are going to tell him something opposite from what he wants to do, he just doesn't talk about that thing. [04:55] In the back of his mind, he thought that joining the military would be a way to leave and use again without people knowing. [05:43] He discovered that the military environment wasn't the most supportive emotionally, plus he was being messed with for being gay. [06:09] The Baker Act means you spend a week in a psych ward and then he got a medical discharge. [07:15] After his discharge, he went on a party binge. [08:02] He was in the military for three months. [09:55] He did learn discipline and a code of ethics while he was in the military. [11:55] After his binge, he went back to detox for a week and then 90 days in Rock Recovery. [12:14] He has a new sponsor and has been sober first. He went through the steps in the book. [15:43] From David's experience, LGBT people want to be treated equal, but they want their struggles to also be recognized. [17:08] The common denominator between all of us is that all addicts have the same type of issues. [22:49] How some gay people may feel that making themselves vulnerable and showing who they are is showing weakness, so they use deflection to stay apart from the group. [23:39] Many gay guys take on the identity of stereotypes, because that's what society tells them is their role. [24:43] Doing the steps and finding a higher power can help someone become more comfortable with who they are. [25:35] You can grow from the steps. You figure out what defense mechanisms you use in your life with other people, and then you can change them and grow as a person. [26:03] Being vulnerable is a key step to recovery. [29:18] Things that we can't control don't need to differentiate us so much that we can't bond with other people. Our underlying experiences and emotions are similar. [31:14] If we look at our similarities instead of looking at what makes us different, our experiences are going to be so much greater. [31:19] If you get vulnerable, other people around you will get vulnerable. [36:36] We all have different issues. Gay people can have different issues in therapy, but a lot of us have the same issues. Everyone has traumatic events. [39:29] David tries to treat people the same and not look at them as being different. The only thing about being gay that sets him apart is that he's attracted to men. [40:41] Ben gets David's opinion on transgender people. [42:31] Ben also asks David about LGBT exclusive recovery meetings. David thinks these might be distracting. [44:55] While doing steps, people don't really have an idea about who they are. It's not the best time to be in a relationship to give love and respect. [45:38] Know who you are before getting in a relationship. [46:14] Exclusive meetings can be closing yourself off. [47:17] Gay men may be more prone to sex addiction. Sometimes people can get confused as sex as love. [51:03] It's very easy for gay guys to find hookups. [54:22] David suggests not to only hang out with people in the gay community when you're a gay person in recovery. Also, stay off of the dating apps. Open up and share your story. Use your drug addiction experiences as a beacon of light. [56:56] Ben is super proud of David, he is nailing quality sobriety. [57:42] Giving back to the community is what keeps him sober. Links and Resources: Ep. 12 - A Discussion with David, His journey from Addiction to Sobriety

We recently received a text from the mother of one of the people that we tried to help. It thanked us for our efforts but said that her son recently lost his battle with addiction and life. Getting a message like this puts everything in perspective. It is sad and heart breaking, but it also is a reminder of why we do what we do. It's a reminder of all that we have to be thankful for and why it is important that we do the best we can to help people cherish their lives and strive to move foreword in a positive way. Today, we are going to discuss how serious addiction can be even when you do everything possible to help someone. Show Notes [02:34] We received a text message from the mother of someone that we have known for more than a year. It said that he had lost his battle with addiction. [02:56] We did everything we possibly could to help him. [03:37] even when we do everything right on our end someone can still lose their battle with addiction. [03:43] We aren't in the results business. We are in the business of showing up. [04:04] We do what we can with what we have to help people. Unfortunately, this stuff happens a lot. [04:58] We feel a sense of responsibility to the parents of the people who come to us for treatment. [06:04] In some cases, we work for three or four months with the parent before we even meet the person who is struggling with addiction. We get to know the parents very very well. [06:38] It hits home when you know the family and know that they are depending on you to do the best job possible. [07:13] We are at a loss for words because we know this is a terrible Thanksgiving for this mother who lost her son. [08:37] There's a fine line between helping someone and enabling someone. You need to be able to look back and know that you did everything you could. In this case, this mother did do everything that she possibly could. [09:31] Ben's aunt recently passed away from alcohol and drug induced overdose. [10:16] A childhood friend of his also recently passed away. [10:52] If you stick around recovery long enough, you're going to see a lot of death. On the other hand, you're going to see miracles that outweigh the tragedies. [11:48] People react differently with the grieving process. Ben has seen parents get angry at him. and he has had parents thank him for all that he tried to do. [13:00] It's not your fault. The three C's. You didn't cause it. You can't control it, and you can't cure it. [14:00] Sometimes tragedies like this bring more awareness to the battles that people have with addiction. [15:13] We need a lot more people doing the same thing that we are doing and getting the word out about addiction. [15:52] It hurts when people don't have the resources to get into a good treatment center. [17:04] If you have the opportunity to get help, please utilize it. [17:41] Treatment helps, but it's not a cure-all. [19:07] If someone decides that they want help down the road, if they've been to treatment before, at least they know that these resources exist. Sometimes success in our field is planting a seed that will sprout later. [19:30] There are faith-based organizations out there and AA and 12-step programs and Celebrate Recovery. [19:54] Tom is grateful and thankful that he and Ben get to do this and talk to multiple people throughout the days in an effort to help them and spread the message of recovery. [20:36] Ben is thankful for the here and now. He is so grateful and proud of the people in the groups that he is a part of. [22:41] Ben is making up for all of the harm that he did in the world. Being a dad is an amazing feeling. He is grateful for the little things in our precious lives. [23:55] Be grateful for what you have been through and what you are here to do now. [26:04] Ben and Tom have known each other for 7 years plus. Now they podcast together, work together, and help as many people as possible. [26:30] If you have questions or need help with anything, please reach out to us. We are a resource that you can utilize. [28:23] Getting better is more important than being home for the holidays. Links and Resources: Celebrate Recovery

Billy is a man who has been clean for 14 months and is helping other people to do the same. In this episode, he shares his story and his history of abuse. He was in a downward spiral until a man he met in jail told him about Fern House recovery center. Billy took it step by step and just followed the directions. He now not only is in recovery, but he is helping others do the same. This show is going to focus on the differences between a private treatment center and a state-run treatment center. People whose resources have been used up often end up in a state run center or a non-profit like Fern House. These centers are much more bare bones, and you really have to want it to recover with minimum help. We also talk about how people who are fortunate enough to go to a private treatment center have an opportunity of a lifetime. Listen in as Ben and I talk with Billy about treatment and recovery. Show Notes [02:16] Billy has been in South Florida for about 23 years. [02:27] He is from Pomona, California. He is 45 years old and has been clean for 14 months. [03:40] Billy was in a motorcycle accident about 10 years ago when he was trying to outrun the police. [03:48] He was put on medication and it eventually got a hold of him. He would go to a dual diagnosis hospital and get his meds for the month so that he would not be sick. [04:23] He had a pain medication doctor who would legally subscribe his medication. He was abusing the medication, so he would run out before the month was up. [05:14] Billy already had a history of addiction. He started with pot when he was just a kid and gradually worked up the chain of drugs. He even did something that he said he would never do and put a needle in his arm when he was 36. [07:19] After his motorcycle accident, Billy lost his new house and his business and had to move back in with his parents. [08:26] He had limited insurance, but he would use it to fuel his drug habit. When he ran out of medication, he would get admitted to a dual diagnosis hospital to be given pain medication during treatment. [09:21] A dual diagnosis Hospital treats mental illness and substance abuse. The Baker Act means if someone is a harm to themselves or others, they can be put into a hospital for up to 72 hours. [10:03] At the dual diagnosis hospital they do provide treatment groups, but you don't have to attend. You basically just eat and sleep and go out for cigarette breaks while being high on the drugs that they give you. [11:16] Things continued to spiral downward for Billy. He got arrested and met a guy in jail who told him about Fern House residential rehabilitation. [11:20] He went there and stayed there for six months. People in jail or prison get referred here often. [13:10] In state-funded facilities the clinicians aren't paid very well, and it's more of a bare bones treatment plan. Private centers have more resources. [18:41] At the Fern House, Billy learned to go to meetings, and he kept following the directions. He did what people told him and followed the process. [20:55] Ben and Billy met at the Fern House and Ben shared his 12-step experience with Billy. [21:32] Today, Billy sponsors guys at the Fern House and passes it on. [22:38] Billy shares a story of how lying is not the best idea. Honesty is part of the process. [25:28] Sending kids to a treatment facility is not sending them on vacation. [26:16] Private facilities provide more in client care such as quality well-paid therapists. You can also have fun, because getting sober isn't easy. At Rock they do fun activities like boating and fishing. [28:07] It can be a struggle to learn how to live again at a state lock-down type facility. [31:21] Ben would look at Fern House as more of a boot camp style facility. [32:01] People need to be ready for treatment, but having insurance can be an excuse to not try because they can keep going into treatment. [33:19] Going in and out of detoxing can cause people to overdose. [34:32] Alcoholics recover when they have two options either die or recover. [35:31] Billy helps people recover in the right way. Links and Resources: Fern House

Tom and Ben discuss the top five reasons to come to South Florida for treatment. There are a lot of reasons why South Florida is a great place to come to for treatment for you or your loved ones. We talk about those reasons along with real life examples that have affected us. We also give our real opinion on the TV show Dope Sick Nation. We want to set the record straight on why everything on TV isn't portrayed as accurately as it could be. We also talk about what a good recovery center is and the importance of having a great community. Show Notes [03:54] How Dope Sick Nation is a bit misleading. [06:03] When treatment doesn't work out for people the first time. Then they lose insurance and need a scholarship to go through treatment again. [06:20] Scholarships in Florida are limited because there's been a huge crack down on client brokering. Unscrupulous owners can look at individuals as insurance policies. [07:04] The show does not show accurate representations of professionals in the recovery field. [07:56] The detox being represented in Dope Sick Nation isn't well-established. [08:48] Unfortunately, addicts can use suboxone to get high. [09:27] Dope Sick nation is not what South Florida treatment looks like. You can't stay street and continue to help people. [10:38] True interventionist inspire people, they don't go running around looking for addicts. [12:35] It looks like premature intervention is what's going on in the show. You can't treat people until they are ready. [13:12] We think South Florida is a good place for treatment. There is a good recovery community here. [13:30] The 12-step Community is key. There is a meeting on every corner at every hour in South Florida. [13:52] The recovery community is widespread. We can't go anywhere without seeing someone in recovery. [14:39] South Florida fosters a good environment for people to get clean. [15:18] When you come to South Florida for recovery, it's like a getting a fresh start. There is no fear of running into people who know about you. [16:51] There's very little stigma in South Florida and a lot of acceptance. [18:12] The meetings are great opportunities to meet new people even if you are looking for a job. Talk and mingle because you never know what opportunities you will find. [19:16] When people get clean and sober, they have an opportunity to do whatever they want. [20:22] By going to treatment, you get the opportunity to rewrite your script. [20:43] Geographical change. There are so many benefits to getting out of your hometown. You get a new place and a new you and you get to portray something different. [22:11] There are so many cool things to do in South Florida that you don't have time to go out and get high. [22:42] We take our clients surfing, boating, horseback riding, and do all kinds of fun activities. [23:17] Adventure therapy shows that there are other things to enjoy. [25:29] These activities also give people an opportunity to develop new hobbies that they enjoy. [25:44] We aren't the only good treatment center in South Florida. There are many great treatment centers here. [27:22] The FBI has a task force that cracks down on unscrupulous treatment centers. We wish Vice News would cover the better treatment centers. Links and Resources: Dope Sick Nation Ep. 38 – Geographical Change: Assisting People Through Recovery

We have a very special guest today, it's my wife Amanda Conrad. Amanda has a lot of knowledge to offer. Many people in her family have struggled with addiction. She is here to talk about what it is like growing up with addiction and being the only one not struggling with it. Some of the things we discuss are how behaviors that she thought were normal actually weren't. She started to realize this when she was around other families. We also talk about why Amanda was never an addict, how Amanda had to set boundaries with her father, and more. Show Notes [02:35] Amanda and I have been married just over 4 years. I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. [02:56] Addiction played a role in Amanda's life well before me. [03:11] Her father started drinking when Amanda and her sister were in the 4th or 5th grade. He was sober for 3 or 4 years. [04:17] Being a dry drunk in the recovery world is when someone just stops drinking, but they don't work on anything. [04:51] Amanda sister also struggled with depression, eating, and cutting. She has a lot of addictive tendencies. [05:20] She would hide the food or sneak. [05:35] Amanda's brother smoked pot and used drugs and alcohol which caused a psychotic break. [06:22] Amanda has no idea why she didn't become an addict, she thinks a lot of it has to do with going to private school and the Christian aspect of things. [09:14] Fear of relapse and addiction creeping in is a problem for Amanda. She is co-dependent without knowing it. There are things she accepts that aren't normal. [10:41] She thought it was normal for her dad to get drunk or drink in the car. These things are toxic and unhealthy. [12:18] Amanda surrounded herself with families that she wanted her family to be like. Like moms that baked cookies. This allowed her to see that her dad's behavior wasn't healthy. [13:36] Addicts are the last ones to know that something is wrong. They don't believe that their behavior is affecting the people around them. [14:29] A lot of stress and unmanaged emotions probably played into Amanda's father's addiction. [15:11] Drinking can creep in and take over your life before you know it. [15:44] She has cut her father out of her life. This is the best boundary that she could set. [16:17] She was seeking love from her father. He would choose alcohol over being present. [17:07] Not all alcoholics hit rock bottom, but this is what it sometimes takes to clean up their life. [17:38] Amanda's fear of relapse comes from seeing the destruction of her family. [18:41] Anyone can become an addict by the simple choices that they make. [19:27] There was something calm about Tom that attracted Amanda to him. She felt safe. [22:13] Amanda still sometimes reads things based on the environment that she grew up in. [23:01] Her dad would raise his voice when he was drunk. Tom hardly ever raises his voice. She has a subconscious fear of Tom yelling which never comes true. [24:43] When Amanda was growing up their dad would hover over them when they cooked. She kind of has cooking PTSD. [25:33] Amanda became a Christian in 2008. She surrounded herself with like-minded people that were able to lift her up. She also went to Al-Anon. [27:00] Being around people who don't judge her has played a part in her life hear it. [27:45] Al-Anon is the most common group for people dealing with the addiction of a loved one. [29:07] When alcoholics and addicts get clean and sober they have a lot to offer. [30:01] Boundaries with people around you are something that you need to learn every single day. Especially, for people to grow up around addicts. [30:54] Learn how to create clear boundaries and have someone hold you accountable to those boundaries. Links and Resources: Al-Anon

Paige Fant is back to talk about what it is like to be married to an active user and what it is like being married to someone in recovery. We are joined by Adam Colling and Ben Bueno. Paige shares her personal experience with codependency and how it is important to love without being self-destructive. We talk about the importance of setting boundaries and finding outside support from 12-step programs like Al-Anon and AA. We also talk about achieving balance and each person being responsible for their own pain. Finding support and a therapist are also helpful when going through the process. Show Notes [02:54] Often times people don't know what to do when they're married to an active user, and they just retract and don't do anything. [03:24] A good place to start is by asking the question is this person willing to get help or have they ever asked for help. [03:44] A dry person is someone who has stopped drinking, but they're absolutely miserable and nothing else has changed. [04:00] Family members and friends are all responsible for dealing with their own pain. How they deal with it is very important. [04:44] Learn about alcohol and addiction and try to understand what your loved one is going through. [05:17] Sometimes it feels really good to relate to somebody that has gone through what you're going through. [07:23] The idea of Al-Anon is a place where relatives can gain support. It's a great place to find support but also find a therapist. [08:00] Boundaries and settling your emotions down are the most important things in this process. [08:40] The families of addicts experience so much embarrassment and shame and people don't realize that. There is also a loneliness to that that makes Al- Anon a safe and inclusive place. [09:21] It's about finding a good meeting that's the right fit for you with a wide variety of people in different stages of recovering. [11:12] Paige had some friends who recommended that she go to Al-Anon. She cried during her first meeting. [12:11] Paige was interested in someone who was in recovery. She was in Al-Anon for about 6 years, and she credits the health of her marriage to it. [14:27] Alcoholics can be very co-dependent, and they frequently move on to Al-Anon after their 12 step program. [16:19] Having an addict as a family member can take control of your life. This is one of the reasons why a support group is so important. [18:14] Paige became enslaved needing the approval of others. She felt like she had to please everybody else. She had to learn the balance and how to lovingly treat someone suffering from addiction without it hurting her. [20:39] Don't try to convince others to go to AA with you. [21:55] Alcohol and drug addiction has to be self-diagnosed. You can't tell someone that they need to go to AA. [22:25] it's Insanity to go to a 12-step program and not work the 12 steps. [22:47] The 12 Steps in Al-Anon are the same 12 steps in AA. [24:34] It's important to recognize major boundaries. You need to take care of yourself and live your own life independently. [25:53] It's important to step back and not make major decisions right away. [28:16] When someone gets clean their loved one suddenly has no one to help. [30:36] When you are married to someone in recovery their program is not your program. You have to take your hands off of your spouse's program. [32:07] It's important to not be insecure and resent the time your spouse spends in AA. [34:51] It can be hard to find balance between meetings and family life. [37:06] Nobody is immune from the effects of the addiction. It affects everybody and all the family members. [37:46] If you go to a 12-step program, do the work. [38:29] Get a therapist too. [39:01] Family Support is so important. Keep searching until you find the right support. Links and Resources: Ep. 33 – Rehab Romances: Will A Relationship Mess Up Your Recovery? Al-Anon AA Tides Counseling

Geographical change can help assist people going through recovery. A change that includes getting away from the people and influences that led to the addiction in the first place can be helpful. Benjamin B. and Renee L. are here today to talk about the benefits of sending your loved one to recovery someplace that includes geographical change. We talk about South Florida recovery versus Northeast recovery and Renee shares her experience with both. Renee and Ben both share their experience with recovery and geographical change. We talk about medically assisted therapies like suboxone and methadone and how additional therapy geared toward abstinence, spirituality, or AA are needed along with a desire to change. Show Notes [02:50] Prior to coming to South Florida, Renee was deep in her addiction. She actually came to South Florida for geographical change. [03:21] She didn't stay in the Northeast because of people, places, and things. [03:40] In the Northeast, there's the high-end recovery that focuses on yoga or medically assisted treatment. [04:00] Renee had tried suboxone therapy and it didn't keep her sober. [04:18] There are a lot of suboxone clinics up north. [04:47] Ben also has experience with methadone and suboxone. [06:24] When Ben was taking the methadone, he received therapy once a month. The methadone and suboxone kept him alive long enough to gather enough tools to want abstinence. [08:35] Ben went to therapy in Minnesota where his grandmother lived. [09:07] Medically assisted treatment means some type of methadone or suboxone, but there is no actual therapy. [10:02] Technically, Renee wasn't sober. She was just switching from opiates to suboxone. [11:47] Suboxone is also an abusable drug that people can become dependent on. [12:53] Geographical change removes the addict from the place where they are comfortable with their addiction. [13:17] Getting on an airplane and going 1500 miles away from home is a commitment. It's also a good way to avoid triggers. [14:25] Without geographical change, Renee doesn't think she would have gotten sober. [16:50] In the first year, Renee changed nothing other than where she was living. Relationships made getting clean the hardest for her. [18:01] When relationships failed, Renee went back to drugs. [18:57] South Florida is known for having great recovery. [20:30] It's hard to get clean when you're still surrounded by people who don't want that to happen. [22:59] By traveling for recovery, it's harder to change your mind and go home. Addicts can be extremely impulsive. [24:28] It's vital that loved ones and those involved don't make the geographical change with the addict. This includes over the phone and Skype. People need to make their journeys on their own. [27:04] Life is going to happen no matter what. You can get through things without getting high. Treatment is not easy for your love ones, you can't derail it as a family member. [30:23] Families being involved are a vital part of the process, but there is a time and a place. [33:37] Renee is hoping to start a meeting in the Northeast. She built a good foundation during the five years she was in South Florida. [35:09] Exercise abstinence first. Don't look at a MAT program as your first option. Benefits to geographical change include commitment, recovery based culture, and lack of triggers. [37:33] Geographical change is very important if it is a viable option for you. Links and Resources: Episode 20: Is Methadone an Effective Treatment Option?

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Read the full show notes at RealRecoveryTalk.com/36 Join our Support Group on Facebook: RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook Download your free Pre-Treatment Checklist: RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist

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Zach thought he was going to be a "White Chip Wonder" but ended up relapsing shortly after getting through treatment. Zach talks about how he thought he had the steps all down and he was secure in his recovery. Today he'll tell you there were a few critical components overlooked, one of which was his need to begin supporting others in their recovery. Grab the full show notes at: https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/34 Join our private Facebook support group: https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook Get your Pre-Treatment Checklist so you're ready when your loved one is ready for treatment: https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist

You'll hear from Paige who is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Addictions Professional currently working with individuals in various stages of their recovery. We'll explore why romantic relationships can feel like a great thing and might even make you feel stronger in your recovery, but in truth, these relationships can be a substitute for our previous addictions. Get the full set of show notes at: https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/33 Need a support group to help you deal with your loved one's addictions? Join our private Facebook group for people just like you: https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook Are you going to be ready when your loved one says they're ready for treatment? Download our free Pre-Treatment Checklist: https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist Please subscribe to this podcast is it's beneficial to you.

One of the most important hurdles to overcome while in addition recovery treatment is the shame our loved ones can feel about their past actions. Hear how this issue is addressed and the positive changed what comes out of it.

Read the show notes for this episode at https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/31 Resources Pre-Treatment Checklist https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist Facebook Support Group https://RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook Josiah is a licensed therapist in the addiction recovery industry. He has a rare story to share today as he walks you through his recovery process and shares the struggles he faced along the way. Josiah has achieved 4 years of sobriety. He uses his experience by sharing the knowledge and expertise he gained through the years of his own addiction and recovery. He also helps you better understand what it means to have a sponsor, and what one can gain from them.

Your prescription medications may be what your body needs to function properly and it could help you stay off whatever drug-of-choice brought you to treatment. But, oftentimes the prescriptions you've been given were needed to counteract the effects of your addiction. So, how do you know what you need and what you don't? Join our online support group to help family and loved ones dealing with drug and alcohol addiction. RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook

Get ready for some brutally honest truths about the substance abuse treatment industry. What works and what doesn't work and how the staff, clients, and loved ones of those in the center can make sure they're doing the very best they can do to be successful in recovery. Join our Facebook Support Group: http://RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook Download the Pre-Treatment Checklist: http://RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist

Discover what it's like for someone who's just 4 days into treatment for their substance abuse. Get your Pre-Treatment Checklist at: http://RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist Connect in our Private Facebook Group: http://RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook

A lot of people, especially those in recovery for drug addiction, are looking for the next best quick-fix. For most addicts in recovery, steroid use isn't considered to be a relapse (by them). They walk into a treatment center and their first desired step of recovery is to change their appearance. Whether, you're numbing your pain with drugs and alcohol, or taking steroids for fast results, you're looking for an external quick-fix to change your internal well-being.

Understand the different levels of treatment as well as the length of time you can expect each level to require from you. Also, what you should tell a loved one about their expected length of stay. You'll also hear about the factors that will contribute to this length of stay.

If you or a loved one have tried a 12-Step program like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous and weren't successful this episode is for you. Find out what works and what doesn't work in the typical 12-step recovery program. Our guest, Ron, will also teach you what it takes to conduct an intervention to get someone you love into treatment for their alcohol or substance abuse issues.

There's been a lot of media coverage revolving around the drug and alcohol treatment centers in South Florida who are just in it to make money. Most of these places will leave an addict in worse shape than when they arrived. It's scary! But there are signs you can look for and ways for you to identify the ones to avoid.

It wasn't until she was arrested and faced losing custody of her son that Traci finally found the treatment she needed to overcome her addictions. She shares what motivated her and how her family helped her get into treatment and keep on track in her recovery. If you have a loved one struggling with addiction or alcohol abuse, this episode will give you some direction and encouragement. You can connect with Traci and the team on the show through our private Facebook Group at RealRecoveryTalk.com/facebook If you'd like to know what you can do right now so you're ready when your loved one seeks treatment, download our free Pre-Treatment Checklist at RealRecoveryTalk.com/checklist

Nick Conti was raised in a wonderful and supportive family in Pittsburgh, PA. He played sports, excelled in school and went on to graduate with a business degree. He earned his way into a great career and had everything going for him by all outward appearances. Listen to how he ended up overdosing on heroin and spending a week in the hospital looking for an opportunity to get more drugs? This is a South Florida Success Story, spotlighting those who have completed addiction treatment in South Florida and are thriving today with a life many thought they lost. Here's how Nick found his path to sobriety through South Florida.

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Resources mentioned in this episode: Facebook Support Group RealRecoveryTalk.com/Facebook Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Care For Yourself by Melody Beattie Available on Amazon.com Find an Al-Anon Support Group near you: https://al-anon.org/

In this episode we discuss 5 things that you can look for to determine how co-dependent you are. Co-Dependency is within every family dynamic and plays a role within addiction. We also discuss 3 things you can do to resolve your co-dependency

In this episode we discuss addiction and how it resembles a hurricane. At the eye of the storm, it is calm. But the outer bands come very often with calm points in-between, but rest assured they are coming! We need to know how addiction can rip through our families and destroy everything in its path. We, the loved ones, do not to be affected as much as we often times are. We have to stand up for ourselves and set boundaries!

In this episode I go over some of the questions that I have heard over the years from people looking for treatment for their loved ones. There are a few questions that need to be asked and thats it, Ask, Get the answer, Leave it at that! Don't over analyze it and look for the perfect treatment center. IT DOESNT EXIST!