Real Recovery Talk

Spirituality and using substances to connect Do you struggle with the concept of spirituality or God in recovery? Check out this "five minute or less" video. Were we not trying to have spiritual experiences through alcohol and substances? Come on all you hippie ravers!?! Were we not trying to connect with others through social lubricant a.k.a. alcohol? Do they not refer to alcohol as spirits? While Recovery is not black and white, maybe this excerpt will get you thinking about spirituality and it's principals? Do you want nothing to do with the concept, yet demonstrate through active addiction that you want everything to do with it?

5 Minutes or Less Im not that bad, yet! Don't let the "Yet" get ya! As addicts and alcoholics we tend to compare ourselves to other people and circumstances. I remember sitting at the bar and looking at all the other people around me that are "for sure alcoholics" and comparing myself to them. I would tell myself things like, "When I get that bad then I will make a change" or "I haven't gotten a DUI, YET" or "I still have my job and I am able to pay my bills". I would tell myself these things even after I had been sitting at the bar for the past 8 hours! Little did I know at that time, all of those "Yet's" were soon to come. I was in such denial, that I would look at people around me and my surroundings and convince myself that I didn't have a problem! If you find yourself in a position to where you are trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem, because X,Y,Z hasn't happened to you, think of it this way. YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, WHICH MEANS YOU MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM! Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

What if they don't want to get sober? When I am talking to parents or loved ones, they sometimes have the response "If they don't want to get sober then what is the point in them going to treatment?" Although this does make somewhat sense, it isn't entirely true. See, when someone is seeking treatment or goes to treatment, chances are they are not WANTING to go in the first place. Maybe they are, but chances are they are not. That is OK. Addiction Treatment can be a very scary thing to do, especially if we have never done it before! As addicts and alcoholics we tend to want to stay where we are most comfortable, in our addiction. So when presented with the "option" of going to treatment, it is not a surprise that they say they don't really want to get sober or "I don't think I need treatment" My recommendation is always, get someone to treatment whatever way possible. They don't have to come "willingly" or have some overly positive attitude about going to treatment. The fact is, they are going and that is all that matters. Leave the rest up to the professionals. If your loved one gets involved in a community that is healthy and fosters good sobriety, they will organically become that as well. You become a product of your environment, ya know?

Can I be sober and have fun at the same time? Often times when people get sober they think that they are buying into this new idea that they are going to live boring mundane lives. Done get me wrong, I do know people that are super boring and would be in better moods if they were drunk. Those are people we like too call "dry drunks" 😂 Sobriety and Recovery can be boring if we don't take the initiative to make it fun! We need to find people that we can surround ourselves with that are going to help us enjoy our new fund sobriety. I tell people all the time, find new stuff to do. Have new experiences. Without those, sobriety can be boring. Let's face it, if sobriety can't be fun, then what is the point? Remember, it takes initiative. We have to make our sobriety what we want it to be or we are going to go back to what we know best. Drugs and Alcohol 💪✌️ Please SUBSCRIBE to Real Recovery Talk Visit www.RealRecoveryTalk.com YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk

5 Minutes or Under Stay the Course The ever changing landscape of addiction can be rather daunting. At first it's beautiful, sunny, perfect weather and no storms. We are just enjoying the weather Eventually though, the inevitable happens. Storms start to come through. What do we do when this happens? Often times addicts and alcoholics will let this turn into an excuse to drink or drug. Rather than looking at the situation as an opportunity, we can look at it as oppression. "Why did this have to happen to me?" We can't let that happen. When life smacks us in the face, which it will. I promise. We need to be able to look at it through sober eyes. Ask yourself: how can I grow through this situation? Will I grow mentally, physically, spiritually? What is God or The Universe trying to show me? Once I get to the other side of this situation, what might I have learned Let's start handling life circumstances differently. Let's not use them as a reason to pick up. Let's look at life circumstances as opportunity rather than oppression. LETS STAY THE COURSE

Many people don't fully understand that a relapse starts WAY before one actually picks up a drink or a drug. It is very important to understand that you have to think it through when you are faced with the temptation of relapse. Think of the consequences that you could face when picking up that drink or drug. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

Check out my new website https://realrecoverytalk.com/ where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Today I will talk with Benjamin B., and we reflect on our holiday musings. How being clean was a much different experience than showing up high. Being sober is more work; however, Ben was able to participate in the holiday events now that he is sober and received much more out of the experience while sober. In this episode, Ben talks about how he really is in tune with 12 Step Programs. Learn how Ben benefited from treatment in a facility and the reasons why and when you should choose a treatment facility over a support group for rehab. Ben and I talk about the "$30,000 big book" from AA and how the founder of AA went through three types of treatments before he developed an AA program. Why support programs may not address the underlying symptoms such as childhood abuse, trauma, and PTSD. Twelve steps are applicable, however, not specific for healing trauma. A therapist who can meet with you one-on-one on the outside of the program will assist you in learning how to heal the trauma, which is fueling the alcohol and drug addiction and move you towards emotional balance. The result and effect of personal counseling will fan out throughout all facets of your life. Treatment centers give you the added benefit of the community. Community to be supported and feel comfortable with others who are suffering from addiction and may have similar challenges. Support groups are optional and do not create a need to go to multiple meetings. Treatment centers give you the support of professionals for evaluation and take you through the process, working alongside you for your time at treatment. Listen in to find out what treatment centers can offer and who can benefit from a treatment center with a more positive outcome than only participating in a support group. Find out why accountability, community, and support make the big difference for your success in detox and healing. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [05:31] Ben talks about his experience with 12 Step Programs. [07:51] Trying AA, church or another recovery method first may not be your best choice. [10:15] Combining a program with a counselor or psychologist who you see outside the program to work through trauma can be a good path to recovery. [12:37] What you can take from support groups and support therapy. [17:50] Go to multiple meetings and / or multiple support groups to find one which is a good fit for your personality. [19:38] Numbers and data for treatment center success. [22:26] Clients see the support they have during treatment and building support outside of treatment. [24:30] Recap of the elements which support your treatment at a facility. [26:45] Parents should stay out of treatment until the client is ready for outside responsibility. [29:30] The importance of seeing a counselor or therapist on a weekly basis. [33:24] People who have been diagnosed with a mental illness, when they come clean, find out they are not mentally ill. [34:59] The winning formula for recovery. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

Check out my new website https://realrecoverytalk.com/ where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Today I will talk to a former drug addict, Glenn, who almost lost everything because of his addiction to drugs. Many addicts come from a background where addiction is present or the environment they lived in as a child promotes drug and alcohol abuse, however, Glenn is an exception to this rule. His family background is from a supportive family with a stay-at-home mom and a dad who worked out with him at the gym every week. Sports were big for Glenn, especially wrestling. He excelled at wrestling and had the opportunity to wrestle in college. When the time came to sign to go to college, Glenn told his dad he didn't want to wrestle in college. His dad was surprised but gave him his blessing, and Glenn attended college. Glen decided to not wrestle after his senior year because wrestling was too high pressure. Glenn talks about how his workouts and winning were addictions, and he won't play a game unless he could win. His friends in college were all leaders of the sport they played. This was his main group of friends. Glenn and his buddies would go hang out in the woods and drink, usually ending up passing out in the basement of his house. Glenn's parents would not allow alcohol in the house, but they were OK with his friends sleeping over. In 2008, his dad had a stroke and was fired from his job because he couldn't perform his work duties. Being the only income in the household, Glenn decided to pitch in to help pay the mortgage for his dad and mom. He secured a job with a local union that paid well and continued to drink on the weekends. One weekend he fell and separated his shoulder snowboarding. His doctor prescribed pain killers, and after his doctor cut him off, he went through detox. One of his co-workers started selling him his personally prescribed pain killers, which led Glenn down the road to addiction at age 19. One of his friends offered him heroin, and Glenn was addicted in a week. Heroin was less expensive and gave him a better feeling at age 21. He continued to work his job, but called out often and didn't get paid much. Glenn would only go to work when he needed money for drugs. He was pulled over a few months later and was arrested with a DWAI. His parents wanted him to go to rehab, he started isolating himself. When he wanted to go home to his parents, they refused to take him in, and Glenn checked himself into rehab. His family knew something was wrong, but no one would address the problem. Listen in to find out how Glenn found solace in the structure of sober living at Rock Recovery Center, why getting out of the town he lived in was a positive for him, how finding out about his son having a brain tumor affected him and how he lost his sobriety after drinking on a cruise vacation with his family. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [04:04] Glenn talks about his life as a child and his environment growing up. [12:16] How Glenn started drinking in college with other leaders in sports. [14:30] Glenn's new addiction to painkillers. [17:37] Glenn is introduced to heroin. [20:35] How Glenn's addiction affected his relationship with his parents. [26:13] What Glenn was able to get away from when he came to Florida for rehab. [28:21] After getting clean, getting married, Glenn falls back into addiction. [29:40] Glenn's mindset while living at the hospital with his wife to take care of his son. [30:56] Glenn decided to not go back to meetings after five years of being sober. [31:37] Glenn's experience with drinking. [33:35] Alcohol can get you re-addicted even if you didn't drink as an addict. [37:18] How getting off your diet is similar to getting back onto drugs. [38:35] Glenn relapsed for six months then ran out of money. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

Today I will talk about the most common rehab myths, boil down the real issues, dissect and talk about each myth piece by piece. You may give yourself excuses as to why you don't want to be clean and sober. There are reasons which may be playing over and over again in your head, which are preventing you from getting clean and sober. Or maybe you are the person who loves an addict, and you are making excuses for them not to enter rehab. The biggest fear I commonly hear about from clients is the fear of the withdrawal process. More poignantly, the first five to ten days of recovery. This is the most intense part of the recovery process. Other factors that affect withdrawal are the types of drugs used, the frequency and amount of drugs used, the combination of drugs and alcohol, and prescription medication addiction. These are the most common factors which will play into how long and intense the withdrawal process will take for an individual. While the withdrawal process may be uncomfortable, some tools can assist you in moving through the process to get to the other side. I know from personal experience, this process cannot be bypassed. The two most intense addictions to move past are alcohol and anti-anxiety drugs. You can die from detoxing from these two if you do not have medical supervision when you are moving through this withdrawal. Removing these chemicals from your body is hard on your brain, and there can be medical effects such as seizures. Heroin, crack cocaine, and opiate addiction are going to be more of a "psychological detox". There is very little chance of dying from these types of detox. Under medical supervision, the process can be better with detox medication in a detox facility. I believe these medications should be used only in a medical environment. These reasons are not an excuse to not go through the detox process. Ultimately, I ended up realizing withdrawal is going to happen, but that it's better when you can go through this process at a facility. If your only rehab option is to detox at home, here are guidelines to follow for recovery: Stay hydrated with water Ask the family to remove alcohol from the house Take away all temptations of drugs and alcohol from your home Ask your family members not to do drugs or drink around you Find a supportive community, a support group or other people who can help you through the process I talk about how people say they aren't like other people who are addicted. The common identity is you and the other people at the center have had drugs and alcohol destroy their lives. If you are thinking you are not like the others in recovery because you have a job or a car and you're not homeless, you may never be able to get sober. This is a barrier and insecurity to sobriety. Others say they won't know who they are without drugs and alcohol. The person on drugs isn't the emotional or mental person you see before you- this is the person who is addicted. Decision-making is fueled by their addiction. When you have been driven by drugs and alcohol for years, the person you see is not the real person inside. The fourteen years I spent drinking had molded me into somebody that didn't know life without alcohol. I had to get sober - I had to submit to the fact that I had to learn how to relive my life. People who get sober come from all walks of life. From janitors to car salesman to executives are all "cut from the same cloth." We are all human, and there is going to be conflict; however, this is a part of life. You learn how to be challenged and overcome these challenges. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:30] Reasons you could be playing over and over again to prevent you from being clean and sober. [05:02] The withdrawal process is uncomfortable, but with the right tools, you can move through the process. [10:05] Wanting to avoid the fallout of detoxification from withdrawal is not an excuse to avoid getting sober. [11:37] Guidelines to follow for recovery if you are detoxing outside of a medical facility [14:31] You're in the same boat as others who are going through and have been through recovery. [16:57] What addicts who are not successful think about. [21:56] My personal example of how I became an alcoholic. [24:48] How my life revolved around drinking and how I had to reinvent myself. [28:04] These things are easy for me to say now, but not easy for me to go through ten years ago. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

Medically Assisted Treatment and our opinions. -- Disclaimer: The information found in this episode should not be used to diagnose, prescribe or treat an individual and should not be used in place of medical advice from a licensed healthcare practitioner. We recently attended a celebration of life for a friend, which was beautiful. He touched so many people with his kindness and love. Today Ben and I will chat about real experiences we have come across in our journey, focusing on MAT - Medically Assisted Treatment. MAT can be useful with proper execution and planning for the challenges which lie ahead for the client. Mood and mind-altering drugs are a necessity in some cases; however, our experience has shown us a better recovery method in Abstinence Based Recovery. At Rock Recovery, we have a step-down program for our clients to transition from our center to living a clean, sober, and independent life. We assist our clients by giving them the tools to safely and effectively live on their own, including community support. One phone call Ben accepted recently sounded like the potential client was a good fit for our program. Let's call this person, "Mike." Mike claimed he was eight months sober and living on his own with a job and wanted to have additional support and treatment. Ben met Mike for a pre screen drug test, which lit up with three different types of drugs. The man claimed sobriety, which was not valid based on the analysis. Ben found out that Mike's insurance ran out at eight months sobriety and was asked to leave the previous facility he was treated at. The doctor released Mike with two different drugs, which can be fatal if you mix them with alcohol. Additionally, both of these drugs have extreme medical withdrawal. Ben was troubled with the provider who left this person on his own with drugs, which could have easily killed him if he drank. Mike didn't understand why we couldn't take him into our sober living and had to explain to him what sober living is for the recovery center. MAT treatment is becoming normalized when this shouldn't be the norm. This method does not take into effect the six requirements for living a sober life. Giving someone drugs and leaving them to their own devices was not responsible for the treatment center who left him out in the cold. We talk about abstinence-based sobriety and the MAT sobriety process and how we use this therapy in the Rock Recovery Center. We have clients come to us and tell us they want to get off Suboxone and move forward without using drugs for recovery. Our location in South Florida feels like paradise. This beautiful environment and area to enjoy and relax is a great place to recover and live when you are out of your recovery at the Rock Recovery Center. Ben talks about the many outdoor activities you can participate in during your recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [05:51] The shortcomings and pitfalls which people experience with MAT. [06:57] Ben shares his experience with MAT based fallout. [14:21] Mike was left out in the cold, with drugs that could have had a fatal side effect. [15:19] How Mike was given drugs, but he barely had enough money to live. [17:11] When the promises come true. [18:17] Who should you see if you are looking for responsible MAT treatment? [20:46] Ben's personal experience with Suboxone. [23:23] Understand the dangers of using drugs to come off of an addiction. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world six weeks ago! -- Today Ben and I will chat about stopping your drinking and drugging. If you're ready to get sober, find a place which you enjoy, that is beautiful. A place where you can focus on your recovery. Florida is a great location to start your journey to renew your life. Many of our clients are from the northeast. I believe there are multiple reasons why people like to come to south Florida for recovery. One of the main reasons is South Florida is a strong recovery community, which is essential when you are looking to get sober. Ben draws the analogy of the south Florida recovery community to the best place you would seek a specific type of sport. You want to go where the sport is played the most, especially if you're competing. South Florida is THE place to be when you are recovering. The clients who come down to South Florida commonly stay here to live full-time. You can easily find many sober people in South Florida in a restaurant or shopping in a market. It's easy to build relationships here with other people who are sober and are looking to engage in sober activities together. Clients who return to the northeast find that there are many commercials and programs which are MAT-based. Sometimes a person will move from their current drug to Suboxone - a prescription medicine used to treat adults who are addicted to opioid medications. This drug is used in conjunction with a complete treatment program, which can also include counseling and behavioral therapy. Ben and I believe that using another drug to get off of your current drug isn't the best form of treatment. Many of the addiction programs in the northeast use this type of therapy. At Rock Recovery Center, we want you to thrive without drugs, which is why we do not use this type of therapy. We talk about abstinence-based sobriety and the MAT sobriety process and how we use this therapy in the Rock Recovery Center. We have clients come to us and tell us they want to get off Suboxone and move forward without using drugs for recovery. Our location in South Florida feels like paradise. This beautiful environment and area to enjoy and relax is a great place to recover and live when you are out of your recovery at the Rock Recovery Center. Ben talks about the many outdoor activities you can participate in during your recovery. There are many employment opportunities in South Florida, along with an extensive network of people who are recovering who can give you referrals to jobs. Find out how many opportunities you can find when you are sober! Many of our clients want to return to South Florida to remain sober. Give us a call, contact us through our website, and find out why Rock Recovery Center is an excellent opportunity for you to become sober and live a fulfilling life. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:10] The company and culture in South Florida recovery. [04:54] What is a recovery community? [08:21] Why Ben and I are fans of abstinence-based treatment. [10:35] What patients have shared with us about their experience using Suboxone. [12:42] Ben's recovery experience in Minnesota and South Florida. [14:30] Employment opportunities in South Florida. [17:46] What sobriety looks like after the recovery center and process. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world five weeks ago! -- Ben and I want to talk about gratitude to give thanks to where the podcast has gone, how the show has helped people, and chat about our thankfulness. Certain concepts are hard for those in the grip of addiction to understand. One is the thought that their life can be turned around. Another is the idea that there is a positive side at the end of this time in your life. Ben didn't understand how someone could be a grateful recovering addict. He talks about how he crossed the line with drugs and alcohol. There wasn't one particular moment which he remembers thinking he needed to change. He does, however, remember one instance shortly before his son's first birthday, where the DEA came to his home and arrested him for drug use. Ben remembers thinking that he may be going away and would be locked up for an extended period. "Recovery must come first in my life" because, without his recovery, his family, child, or anything else isn't going to work. Ben is thankful to find his purpose in helping other people. From sponsoring others to sobriety to reaching so many others and working with them to caring for a friend's child when his mother died of a drug overdose, Ben is finding the world needs him in more ways than he had ever expected. At one point, I felt that I was going to die an alcoholic. At 26 years old, with a hunting shotgun in the corner of my room, I thought to myself that I could quickly end my life right there in my room. Don't take the fear of living without drugs and alcohol take over your thoughts. Make a choice to overcome your fear and move forward with your recovery. Ben recalls his early recovery feeling like he didn't have the strength physically, emotionally, or spiritually to make it through another minute. Ben reiterates his "why" of being here because he now has a purpose. He holds onto resonating with his words, making sure he walks the walk and talks the talk. He often hears about new people in recovery, saying the right words in the group but then doesn't follow through with actions. Ben believes that if they at least know the idea and realize they need to change their behavior, they will eventually move towards more positive behavior. What we have talked about on this podcast is a reflection of the lives we have built for ourselves. We speak the language because we have been in their shoes. Ben can't put into words what it was like to be an addict. Additionally, he cannot put words to how he feels about living his life without drugs and addiction. If you're struggling with the idea of sobriety and getting treatment, think about the opportunities which can lie ahead of you when you make a choice to change. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [02:38] Concepts which are hard for those in the grips of addiction to understand. [03:12] What drove Ben nuts in early recovery. [04:09] The point where you feel that something has to change in your life. [05:35] Ben wasn't being the man he knew he was capable of being. [06:32] How Ben's experiences have led him to the point at which he is living today. [09:14] I tell my story about how I had bought into the concept that I would die an alcoholic. [12:59] Ben's work with people in recovery reminds him everyday how valuable his work is. [15:52] I talk about suicide being the easy route to escape. [20:15] Why we publish this podcast. [23:23] Addicts can relate to Ben and gives him a level of trust. [29:35] Why having any drugs or alcohol is beneficial for Ben. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world four weeks ago! -- The holiday season is here upon us. This can be tough for those who are in early recovery, especiallly being with family. Along with family comes a lot of emotions. You may have indugled in drugs and alochol to get through previous holidays to get yourself through this time. Now, however; you are sober and you'll need to put new tools in your toolbox to move through the holidays sober. The big question I'm going to discuss today: How can we go into the holiday season and be sure we will be OK when we get out the other side? Don't go into the holiday season with the idea that this will be hard for you. Put your fear aside, celebrate being joyful with friends and family. Especially if you're new to sobriety, take heart to follow these steps and make your holiday season a good and memorable one. Here is a plan you can follow to have a safe, fun and enjoyable holiday season this year: #1 Create a plan for your holiday Not just plan where to go, but how you are going to deal with situations. If you are seeing family, you'll most likely be going back to the same dysfunction or bad habits of the family. Think about what you are going to do and say when family members put you in a "party" situation or try to bring you to a bar. #2 Find a meeting where you are going during the holiday Find a support person locally to reach out and talk to someone who can support you. #3 Communicate with your family members Tell your family your boundaries and expectations for your health and to support you. Let your family know if they cannot support you, that you will not be coming to the family function. They won't know what you expect unless you communicate with them effectively. Share with them your expectations weeks before you are going to meet them for the holidays. This will relieve the awkwardness of your family so they will know what you feel comfortable with during events. Tell your family that you don't want to be offered alcohol or drugs. If they are drinking, you may need to be in a different room. #4 Set up your accountability partners before hand The newly recovered person should decide before they go to a family function who the responsible family members are which they can have for support. #5 Look at this as an opportunity to create new, wonderful memories with your family! Look for happy moments and fill your time with fun activities with your family and friends. Have meaningful conversation and tell them about your new found sobriety. You may be a vehicle for others to become sober. You may have spent years not being there for your family, this is your time to show your family and friends you are sober and there for them. Have gratitude you have this opportunity to spend time with them. If you're family is a party family and always uses drugs or alcohol, your best choice is to not attend a family gathering. Be proud of your sobriety and do not put yourself in a situation to lose what you have done for yourself! There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [01:44] Sobriety - you haven't had to be sober for previous holidays, but now you do! [03:22] Going into your first holiday season as a sober person. [04:33] #1 Create a plan for your holiday [07:11]What should you do when your family puts you in a not so great situation? Plan ahead! [09:09] #3 Communicate with your family members [12:03] Decide what family members are supportive and communicate with them. #4 Set up your accountability before hand. [15:59] Know that you have a say in what you do with alcohol. [19:09] Be proud to be the sober person in the crowd. [20:15] There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world three weeks ago! -- The question to ask yourself when you are considering treatment: How do drugs and alcohol add value to my life today? There are many different reasons addicts will not go into drug and alcohol rehab. One reason may be because the addict thinks they won't be able to become clean, so what is the point of going? With that attitude, you definitely won't become clean and sober again. I'm here to tell you, relapse is NOT a part of recovery. This statement, which I've heard many times, is BS. Relapse is only a part of recovery if you choose to make this a part of your recovery. In this episode, I'm going to talk about the most common fears people have when considering treatment options. Many people have a fear of the unknown. Remember, treatment for any problem, whether the issue is medical, such as a broken leg or addiction, is purposeful. The reason you go for treatment is for repair. Treatment is generally uncomfortable; however, the goal for your treatment is to heal successfully. When you enter into drug and alcohol treatment, it may be hard to comprehend your life moving forward without drugs and alcohol. You may be asking yourself the following questions: What does drug and alcohol treatment look like? What can I expect during this process? What are the actions and steps I'll have to do in the addiction program? What types of treatments will my rehab consist of? Who will be leading my rehabilitation? What types of doctors, psychologists, will I be working with during rehab? What will this process look like for me? I'll be speaking with my guest, Griff, today about his fears about going into drug and alcohol rehab. He has been in rehab for six months and will talk to us about dealing with emotions. Fear #1: Talking about your emotions. As an addict, we tend to live emotionless lives to avoid feeling emotions. You are using drugs and alcohol to mask your true emotions. Your feelings are overwhelming; however, if you do not process your emotions, you have a significant chance of falling back into the addiction cycle. When Griff first started feeling emotion, he felt love for the first time. This was the first experience he had with loving himself. Also, he experiences the emotion of hate for his actions in the past. He now realizes he has a choice not to live a life of addiction. He feels he is a better person now than he was before. Griff realizes that he feels different if he is around others who are drinking. Fear #2: Loneliness: Make sure to have a trusted counselor or other professional to work through your emotional process and have a clean and positive community of friends who can be there for you when you are working through the recovery process. Griff talks about how vital the community at the Rock Recovery Center is for him through his process of recovery. He felt welcome and accepted at the Rock Recovery Center. Even though he considers himself an introvert, he realizes how his new friends are looking out for him. Listen in to hear more detail about three common fears many people experience when considering drug and alcohol rehabilitation. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:54] Trying to comprehend your life without drugs and alcohol. [04:06] Common modalities and activities you may have in your recovery program. [04:33] Fear #1: The fear of dealing with your emotions [05:59] My guest Griff talks about using since he was 12 and not having to deal with emotions for a very long time. [07:02] Feeling guilt and shame when going through the treatment process. [07:25] Griff talks about harnessing his new found emotions to change and become a better person. [09:09] Going through and processing emotions with a trained therapist who you can trust and feel comfortable with when healing from addiction. [10:56] Stay away from environments which have drugs or alcohol when you are in early recovery. [11:09] Fear #2 the fear of loneliness. [12:39] Griff talks about the relationships he has developed during treatment. [13:39] Be an asset to your community during treatment. [14:59] Griff talks about his new found "family" at the Rock Recovery Center and the importance of having this community for his well-being. [17:04] The community at the Rock Recovery Center holding each other accountable. [20:04] Perspective: look at how wonderful your life would be without dependence on drugs and alcohol instead of thinking about life without drugs and alcohol. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world two weeks ago! -- I'm going to give you three things you can do to end your addiction. Whether you're addicted to drugs, alcohol, or nicotine, consistently following these three steps can get you out of your addiction and onto your road of recovery. These three steps are so easy to do, normies do this every day: Get Busy - the saying "idle hands make the devil's workshop" applies to #1. Don't sit around and let time pass you by. Doing the same thing day in and day out, without purpose, is not healthy. You want to fill your time with productive, purposeful activities to be in the right frame of mind. You can volunteer at a local pet shelter, go back to school, or pick up a new trade or hobby. Find activities you like to do and do them every day. Get out of Toxic Relationships - when you are inactive addiction, you will surround yourself with others who approve of your negative behavior. You can easily cosign your addiction when you stay in toxic relationships. Remember to look around, the toxic person doesn't have to be an addict, they can be a normie but is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive. Find positive friends, moving forward in life, and lead meaningful lives. Get Support - find others outside of your immediate family to positively support you in your journey and will hold you accountable. Find a support group or support system of others outside your family who you can talk to when you need support. Your family may love you; however, family situations can be stressful and create the opposite effect. Family members who don't understand how you feel usually can't support you in the way you need to be supported. They want to help you but do not have the tools to assist you in the road to recovery. A good support group or person can walk you through a tough journey. When we are stuck in our heads and have no way to get out of our heads, the negative self-talk will walk back into our minds. From this point, the negativity snowballs, and we are back on the path to addiction. Whether your addiction is shopping, gambling, or drugs, this applies to all addictions. Remember, toxic relationships include any person who is not serving a positive purpose in your life. Breakaway from these people and move from your "comfortable" place. You have to get rid of toxic people and relationships, or you'll be fighting an uphill battle. These people will not support you wanting to get clean or get out of your addiction. Find a MeetUp group that doesn't drink. Make sure to be with positive people who can build your sobriety and help lift you back up. Positive support will assist you in being and stay sober. There's no guarantee, however, if you are consistent and follow-through with these three steps, you can be on your way to sobriety. Listen in to hear more detail about my three steps to put you on the path of sobriety, no matter what your addiction. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [02:15] I introduce my new baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, [03:55] Three things you can do to end your addiction. [04:51] The first thing you can do to put an end to your addiction - be productive and engage yourself in mindful and meaningful activities. [08:56] Number two: Get out of toxic relationships - surround yourself with healthy, good people. [13:22] Number three: get support! Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes

I hope that Steven's message today will give you the ability to go out and get help with your addiction. Listen in on his message of hope. Steven decided to come onto the show today to share his message of hard work and determination when coming off drug addiction. His early life, as a child living with his mother, gave Steven his first exposure to drug use and addiction. This was a radical difference from the structured and disciplined military life he led when he was under his father's care. At eight years old, his aunt gave him his first joint, and his uncle gave him his first beer that summer. Later that year, he started smoking cigarettes, also given to him by a family member on his mother's side. By the time he was 13, he was smoking a pack a day of cigarettes. Enabling children and giving them what they want tends to lead a person down the path of addiction. Being able to do "anything you want" gives the impression that doing anything is OK. The enabler is not able to stop the behavior that is allowing the addict to continue. Steven's introduction to continual access to drugs and alcohol started in middle school, where he would idolize rock bands, play music and go out into a field and get drunk with his friends. In high school, he joined his first band, half of whom were on probation. Steven himself ended up on probation for six months. During his probation, he developed a reliance on synthetic cannabinoids. Even though he was on-track to graduate early from high school, he was expelled his junior year and dropped out twice his senior year. Steven thought drinking was a typical teen activity. Looking back, he realized his behavior wasn't normal - the party never stopped - he was continually drinking throughout the day. Playing in a band gave Steven purpose, finding a role in music was where he fit in socially. His world as an adult is still tied to his childhood traumas, with abandonment issues and feeling he isn't good enough. These are the feelings that lead to addiction and make addiction so hard to break. In 2017, Steven broke up with his girlfriend, and he realized he was always drunk. He would buy beer, put the beer in his backpack, and drink beer in the bathroom every hour he was at work. His ex-girlfriend was also addicted, she didn't want to be addicted. Steven realized that he, as well as she, needed to go into rehab. Listen in to hear Steven's story of drinking, being miserable and him being in and out of IOP and working a 12-step program. Show Notes: [04:29] I introduce Steven and he gives background on his lifestyle growing up and the large amount of difference between living with his mother and living with his father. [07:25] Steven tells about his family growing up, how his family became a blended family. [09:29] His mother and aunt are still addicted and not clean. [11:45] Steven and I talk about the enabling aspect of addiction. [15:26] Where Steven's addiction stems from. [17:20] Steven's first consequence: probation for six months. [19:27] The party never stopped for Steven, he was always drinking. [20:30] He describes how playing in a band gave him purpose. [25:49] Steven deals with abandonment issues, even as an adult. [27:24] The turning point where Steven decides he has to make a change. [35:23] How Steven started drinking more to cope with the misery of the breakup with his girlfriend. [38:03] What is Steven doing now and what would he say to the Steven that was living under the bridge several years ago. [44:05] The message I'm hearing is hope! [48:26] "Give yourself a shot, even if you don't think you're worth it." Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

Gormy is an Instagram influencer @gormy_goes_keto. He has a history of food addiction, starting as a child. At his heaviest, he weighed 540 pounds. He built a life that supported and enabled his food addiction and focused his world around food. As long as he could access food, he didn't care about his health issues, reduced mobility, or an unhealthy lifestyle. Gormy realized, after not being able to find work, that he needed to change and get into better shape. He developed habits such as "sneak eating," how he would only lose weight to please his parents, and how Gormy didn't have any ownership in moving toward a healthy lifestyle. As an adult, he realized that he needed to lose weight to get a job. He got to his goal weight of 210 for his 40th birthday in 2011. Then, he decided to have a cheat meal, which turned into a cheat weekend and then snowballed into completely giving up into eating any type of healthy food. He put on 100 pounds in the first month of eating in this fashion. Gormy went from 210 to 480 in 6 months. Listen in to find out how Gormy went from resigning life to moving to be an inspiration to others. Show Notes: [03:23] I introduce Gormy and he gives background on how he developed Gormy Goes Keto. [04:12] Gormy talks about his food addiction history, dating back to when he was a child. [07:15] After college, Gormy's food addiction turned for the worse. [08:58] Gormy talks about the physical challenges of being obese. [10:15] He talks about how he avoided doctors, even with multiple medical conditions. [12:31] The psychological impact of his parents paying him money to lose weight when he was a child. [17:19] His second diet, at 16, he started off at 350 pounds. He would "sneak eat" food and throw out the wrappers so his family didn't know what he was eating. [23:42] As soon as Gormy found a new job on the East Coast, he was back eating again and gained back much of the weight he lost. [34:09] Gormy resigns himself to dying and writes a letter to his family. [40:01] We compare food addiction to drugs and alcohol addiction, what do these have in common? [43:34] Gormy remembers his stepmom crying because she thought he was going to die because of his weight. [45:51] Eating too much has become normalized in our society. [48:18] Gormy realizes his responsibilities have changed when his dad asks him for help to take care of two newborns. [50:33] Gormy realizes his life has impact and that he is now responsible for somebody else other than himself. [54:19] He thinks about who he wants to be as a person, as well as what does he want to weigh? [01:00:50] What steps does Gormy take now for his accountability? Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Gormy on YouTube Gormy on Instagram Gormy's Blog The Fat Guy Forum on Apple Podcasts

Brandon Lilly is a strength coach and top ranked powerlifter. He was ranked as one of the strongest powerlifters of all time lifting over 2000 pounds in multiple classes. His Cube Method has also helped other men do the same and has helped women total over 1000 pounds. After a devastating knee injury that required Brandon to have 17 surgeries, he ended up in bed with time for reflection. During this time, he realized that his powerlifting had become an obsession, and he had let most other aspects of his life fall by the wayside. Addiction can take many forms, and it doesn't have to only apply to drugs and alcohol. As Brandon explains, it can even apply to powerlifting. Show Notes: [03:37] Brandon started to recognize that addiction is somewhat woven into the fabric of human existence. We all have addictive qualities to some degree. [04:48] We've done a poor job of classifying people as broken, when they're not broken, they're just human. [05:12] Brandon was so addicted to powerlifting that he made choices for the progression of the sport not the progression of himself. Powerlifting consumed who he was and his life. [06:24] Brandon had a catastrophic injury that required multiple knee surgeries. When he wasn't able to power lift, it gave him time to take a pause and think about all that he had given up in order to powerlift. [07:48] He knew the isolation and loneliness that he was feeling was going to be recurring if he didn't make some changes in his life. [10:38] The first step may be changing the food or the drink, but there has to be a second and third step. Patterns have to be broken. [16:38] Mark Bell had a similar experience when he was injured, and it was a pivotal moment in his life. [18:51] Brandon experienced a lot of loss and wanted to use that to be the best in powerlifting, but he was alienating himself from his family while being obsessed with the sport. [22:07] He had so many issues with his leg, because he wouldn't give up what was killing him. He should have only had 3 surgeries, but he had 17, because he wasn't taking care of himself. [23:34] Brandon realized that he was exactly where he was, because that is where he put himself. [24:30] For him, the powerlifting was a positive expression until it wasn't. [26:24] We all have something that we are fighting against. Brandon was mad at the world for no reason. [28:25] He was the smallest kid on the block and had a chip on his shoulder. He always felt like he needed more to be more. [33:01] Success doesn't happen quickly, it's better to build something for life. [37:50] People have to decide they want help on their own and not be forced into it. [42:55] It's no effort to do the things that you are truly doing for yourself. [44:23] Brandon speaks for himself and doesn't want to be controversial. He doesn't fall into the trap of trying to impress people anymore. He's very real about his struggles. [52:18] It's important to have a community and find people who support you and help you reach your goals. [59:09] Without the hard days, Brandon wouldn't be able to enjoy the sunrise that he enjoys now. [01:06:31] If Brandon can make someone's life better with a smile, he'll smile. [01:07:06] Brandon got very strong very fast when he started powerlifting. He wanted to be liked, followed, and make a living. Now he just wants to be a functional human. [01:08:29] His workouts now consist of two heavy days one upper and one lower, two rep days one upper and one lower, and two speed days one upper and one lower. He takes one day off and also hikes three to four days a week. [01:12:51] Hold on and recognize the small miracles and things that matter. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Brandon Lilly Brandon Lilly on Instagram Brandon Lilly on Twitter [email protected] Ep. 48 – Mark Smelly Bell: Founder and CEO of Super Training Gym and The Slingshot: Using fitness and nutrition to help with your addiction Terrence Mitchell on Instagram Born to Run The Cube Method

Getting sober and being sober is great, but how can you ensure that you're going to have sustainable long-term sobriety and recovery? For those who struggle with relapse and can't string together any substantial clean time, it becomes like a repetitive hamster wheel that they feel like they can't get off of. I'm on my ninth year of sobriety. For me, as time goes by, it's easier to stay sober. This doesn't mean I don't have those low points that can make staying sober a challenge. It just means that I've found ways to help stay sober. Today, I'm going to discuss some techniques that I use to ensure that I have long lasting sobriety. Show Notes: [05:54] You have to understand that nothing about the process is easy, but the longer you go the easier it gets. [07:05] I don't want to lose any of the things that I've gained that has monetary value. [08:30] Wants someone is getting sober and gets a job, it feels good to have money in their pocket. [10:35] There will be challenges, but you need to be resilient. [11:50] People who are sober get knocked down and they pick themselves up, they don't go and get high. They do whatever they need to do to protect their sobriety. [12:31] We need to learn to delay gratification. [13:36] If I want something, I try to table it for 30 days and then if I'm still thinking about it, I'll think about getting it. [15:26] We need to slow down and understand what the steps are for as we work them not rush through them. [16:35] I've also taken on new interests that are outside of the recovery world. [18:58] I want to do things that I wouldn't have done before I was sober. I want to experience what life has to offer. [23:06] You have to have community. Not just community in your 12-step group. As human beings, we need to be surrounded by human beings. [25:06] It's even possible to isolate in a public place. [25:37] In sobriety, you can't isolate. You need to be around people that have gone through what you have gone through and gotten to the other side. [26:31] It's also great to have a community with your outside interests. [27:36] You can still have friends who drink. We need people to help us reach our goals and be better people. [28:57] Sobriety is going to be tough. Build some interests. Keep in fun. Experience new things. Build a community around you that you can reach out to. [30:03] You will have low points and need people to help pick you up. If you do these things, you can maintain sobriety. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

We've been getting a lot of comments and questions about SMART Recovery. So today, Tom and Ben discuss SMART Recovery along with why it's important to do some type of treatment and get the help you need. You really just have to pick something, and then you have to do it. Ben has attended a SMART Recovery meeting. He shares the acronym for SMART goals, and his opinion of the program. We also talk about how important it is to stick with whatever program you choose to get the results that will benefit you for your entire life. Show Notes: [03:49] Ben is an AA 12-Step guy through and through. He has also learned not to pigeon himself into one way and one way only. [04:15] The acronym SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely when referring to goals. [05:06] We want clients to be self-sufficient and find jobs. Finding a job isn't specific, but filling out 10 applications is. [07:11] You want your goals to be attainable and realistic. [09:19] A lot of recovery programs are similar and related. [09:58] SMART Recovery is also based on therapy. It's based on three musts. I must or I'm a failure. You must treat me a certain way. I must not have pain, worry etc. [11:12] Realistically you will feel negative feelings. You need to apply rational thoughts and reframe situations. [13:23] SMART Recovery has an ABC. A is an activating event. B is a belief. C is the consequence. It's a process of rational thinking. [14:21] Ben went to a SMART Recovery meeting. It's like group therapy without the therapist. They are run differently from state to state. There is consistency in 12-Step programs. [20:09] Whatever program you are using, you need to go to the meetings and practice it. You have to give it time and an opportunity to work. [23:25] Don't say something doesn't work until you've done the whole thing. If you do everything you are supposed to do, it will work. [26:32] Don't focus on the end date. Focus on the journey and the program. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube SMART Recovery AA

People often say, why don't you just stop using? It's obvious what it's doing to your life and the lives of those around you. If curing addiction where that easy, everyone would do it and addiction issues wouldn't be an issue. We all know that addiction is an issue and has a strong hold on many. This episode goes into the reasons why it's impossible to just cure addiction. We talk about how humans are programmed for pleasure, how drinking initially feels good, how it can turn into something that is almost impossible to stop, and more. People have a lot of different opinions about this topic. I would love to hear what you think, so feel free to weigh in with your opinion. Show Notes: [03:17] Human beings are programmed for pleasure and like to feel good. Drugs and alcohol give people a euphoric feeling that they enjoy. [04:32] The problem is that the good feeling eventually turns into problems like DUIs, lost relationships, withdrawal symptoms, and so on. [05:08] That first sip of alcohol can make us feel good and limit inhibitions. We love that dopamine hit. [06:01] People also have addiction with relationships. If we don't address the underlying issues, we'll just look for something else to make us feel good. [06:54] The underlying issue that's fueling the addiction needs to be uncovered. [07:25] People get addicted to things to avoid pain. When people stop drinking and drugging they have to deal with the pain without the substances. [08:43] If we're not getting clean and sober, and we're experiencing emotional or physical pain, the only way to deal with it is drugs and alcohol. [10:06] People always have multiple issues going on. As people get clean and sober it takes a lot of work to uncover the underlying issues. Anxiety and depression are very common. [12:54] The system is often set up to punish people. There is nothing rehabilitating about going to jail. Drugs addict can find drugs in jail. Once again, the underlying issue needs to be addressed. [14:12] Lack of purpose is a common issue with drug addicts. People need to feel like they have some type of purpose. [16:25] Once the drugs and alcohol are gone, it's time to figure out why you are here. Having something that you really enjoy will give you something to look forward to. [18:34] It's my opinion that addiction can't be cured. It can be put at bay. It can be maintained, but it can't be cured. [19:30] If we're willing to do the work, we can put the addiction on the shelf, but it's unfair to say it can be cured. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

Hannah Marks is someone who Tom has known for seven years, and they have both been sober ever since. Hannah and Tom talk about Hannah's journey to addiction and sobriety. Her story is a little different, because she started drinking when she was 11 and got sober at 17 years old. Hannah shares how her gateway drug was trauma, and how she started drinking after the death of her father. Hannah is also the founder of an advocacy website called Wherehab. This site helps people explore treatment options without a sales pitch. It doesn't operate on leads. The focus is just to help educate people about treatment options and what would work best for their unique situation. She also has an app launching soon. We talk about trauma, sobriety, treatment, Hannah's great life, and world travel. Show Notes: [03:02] Trauma was Hannah's gateway drug. Her dad died when she was 11, and she started drinking a lot. [03:56] After getting sober, Hannah still had a lot of mental obstacles to overcome. She had to really dig deep and do a lot of therapy. [04:27] She wasn't talk the coping skills to deal with what she was dealing with, and she didn't have a strong sense of self. [05:04] After getting sober, she realized that she had more things to deal with. She learned that trauma could be from not trusting herself and having an identity. [06:18] Trauma is different for everyone. [08:46] After her dad's death, it took Hannah five or six years to get her feelings back. She didn't know how to feel feelings like sadness, so she would do whatever it would take to distract herself like eat. [10:11] If she wasn't getting high, she felt like she would die. Drugs and alcohol are a symptom to deal with thoughts and feelings. [11:41] Hannah was 17 when she got sober. She started going to meetings and was involved with positive people. [13:58] After high school, Hannah's sister invited her to stay in Gainesville. She ended up at an AA meeting by chance after giving someone a ride. [16:50] A sense of community is so important. [18:32] Getting sober is kind of like facing the fear of death. You either have to have the community or hit rock bottom. [20:29] Wherehab is resource where you can learn about quality treatment providers without being sold leads. They have a blog, and you can learn about different treatment modalities. [22:05] Hannah has toured over 500 rehab centers. [23:03] There isn't a one type fit all treatment. Different plans will work for different people depending on where they are at. The way you learn recovery will be unique to you. [25:35] Hannah makes her own work schedule and goes on awesome trips around the world. She has the perfect sober life. She is also more selective about who she lets in her life. She is also going to Asia for a month. [26:59] She has been to Mexico, Costa Rica, Bahamas, Canada, England, Italy, France, Japan, India, Burma, Thailand, Germany, Austria, Hungary, or 13% of the world. [27:33] She also just did a soft version of a meeting finder app. It has many functions like finding a community, mentors, and setting goals. It's called SYN or Sober Young Network. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Wherehab Wherehab on Twitter Wherehab on Facebook Hanna on LinkedIn Wherehab on Instagram

Ben's cousin Joel H. is here today to talk with Tom and Ben about his story of addiction, what he went through, getting sober, and staying sober. Joel is four years older than Ben and was super influential on Ben when they were growing up. Ben also shares how important it was for him to see Joel go through the process. Ben was born with one hand, but that didn't deter him from playing all of the sports especially karate. His mom also encouraged him to be social and surrounded him with friends. Like many of us, Joel drank as a teen. His addiction issues didn't really flare up until he was injured and tried oxycontin. We talk about this and more in this encouraging and entertaining episode. Show Notes: [03:55] Ben shares how Joel got him to work out by punishing him on heavy weights. He was a huge influence to him. [05:00] Ben also took Joel to his first AA meeting. [06:07] Joel was born with one hand. He was an only child, but his mom always made sure he had friends around and got to try all of the sports. Karate was his favorite. [07:04] His parents drank on weekends. That didn't seem to have a huge effect on his addiction. [08:16] When he was nearing the end of his teen years, several events took place that he didn't have the coping mechanisms to deal with. He went through a breakup. His grandfather died, and his parents also got divorced. [08:50] He also had two groups of friends. The church group that was into sports and the pot smoking surfer group. [09:06] He started spending more time with the second group, because he liked the effects of alcohol and it helped him cope with his current losses. [09:24] He was still responsible. He went to school, worked, and got married. [10:14] When he was 28 years old, he had an accident in the weight room. He began taking Oxycontin for the pain and ended up spending his money on it for the next two years. [11:39] He got to a point where he overdosed. [12:03] He divorced and got into a new relationship. His pain began again, and he got legitimate pain meds. This led to addiction and depression. [13:01] Joel got into trouble for the first time in his life. Joel shares a story where he ended up being dubbed the one handed bandit. He also broke into a courthouse building. [14:36] He ended up turning himself in and losing his home and relationships. [15:21] Ben and some friends knew it was time to get him into treatment. [16:06] Joel started to go to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps. [20:03] Part of the process of re-evaluating your life is taking an inventory of the way you were behaving and the way you would like to behave. [21:08] It's more fun being sober and not waking up with a hangover. The biggest gift of recovery is peace of mind. [23:01] At treatment, Joel felt like he wasn't alone. He was around people with a similar story, and the counselors were great. [25:05] Tom found out that his false beliefs were at the center of his addiction. [26:16] Joel couldn't imagine dealing with his pain without using. In meetings, he learned that this was possible. [29:22] Praying started helping Joel to get his confidence back. He surrounded himself with winners. [34:14] Fitness really helps with sobriety and having goals and something to shoot for. Joel inspires other people with his one handed bench presses. [37:13] Ben shares how hiking and speed walking can alleviate depression and anxiety. [40:37] A lot of common sense stuff can be applied to treatment. Going for walks or to the gym really helps. [42:15] Part of treatment is practical application of the tools. [44:06] Joel was in a sober living environment for almost two years. That attests to his willingness to do the work. [46:27] The recent loss of Joel's mom made him feel helpless. His treatment tools and support group enabled him to cope with the loss that would have normally sent him back into addiction. [52:49] Joel now works in treatment, and it's great for his relationship with Ben. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube AA Fern House Dave Ramsey

A lot of people make an effort to get clean and sober for the wrong reasons. They are doing it for a family member or a loved one. To have success, the addict needs to be committed and want to do it for themselves. In today's episode, Tom talks to Dakota. Dakota is someone who Tom has known for the past year. They talk about how he ended up addicted and how he ended up in South Florida. Dakota openly shares his story and how he got introduced to weed when he was 10. It didn't take long before he moved on to other things and ended up with a full blown problem. Tom and Dakota talk about some of the parallels of addicts and having problems with their home life. Dakota also shares his unsuccessful attempts to get sober and how things didn't click until he was all in and truly wanted to work the steps. Show Notes: [03:56] Dakota was born in Maine and moved to Phoenix when he was 4. His father was an alcoholic. His mom worked all the time. [04:59] He tried weed when he was 10 and instantly fell in love with it. Then he began drinking. He then moved on to other drugs. [06:35] The drugs gave him a feeling of acceptance. His relationship with his dad affected his self-esteem. He was always seeking validation. [10:17] Being a drug dealer made Dakota feel needed. [11:16] The addictive mentality puts us in positions that we wouldn't normally be in. [12:22] Things escalated and Dakota began fighting and ended up in one alternative school after another. Things went downhill when he tried Oxy. [14:34] He got clean for about four months for a girl he was dating. He then began doing Oxy behind her back. They broke up after a year. [16:02] Dakota was sick and on withdrawals and tried heroin. He was just going to do it one time. The Oxy didn't compare to the heroin. [17:34] After a year, he decided to go to rehab. He just went to detox and then immediately relapsed. [19:18] He then overdosed and was really an addict. He lost friends, lived on the street, and went in and out of programs. [22:04] After another overdose, someone in rehab told him about rehab in South Florida. He got 50 days clean and then started drinking again. [24:43] After using and going in and out of detox or rehab, he finally decided to call Rock Recovery. [25:31] He had a moment of clarity and putting the needle in his arm filled him with shame and made him feel miserable. [27:26] You can't just get clean for other people. You have to want it for yourself. [28:04] Dakota couldn't change until he put in the actual work. [30:03] Addicts tend to play the victim. Everyone is out to get them. [34:22] Parents have to show tough love before their addicted child gets a wake up call. You can't keep enabling your loved ones. [36:26] Dakota overdosed and almost died. Nick found him passed out. [37:26] He felt like the people at Rock really cared. Dakota got a sponsor through some help from Ben, and he just hit the ground running. [38:17] Dakota was completely against doing the steps, but when he actually did them it was exactly what he needed. [39:30] Sponsorship is something that you should try before you knock it. [41:31] It's not about the amount of time that you have been clean and sober. [42:34] Dakota talks about the importance of surrounding himself with people doing what he does. Community and people to connect with are important. [46:02] Dakota has been clean for 75 quality days. [47:10] He has had a huge impact on the sober community. It's important to consider yourself a student and learn everyday. [49:02] You need to have some type of balance when you go through the program. Go to meetings, but have fun and live life too. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

Tom and Ben discuss why addiction treatment is so expensive. People call all the time and unfortunately, they don't all have private insurance or a lot of money. It really pulls at the heartstrings when we hear people's backgrounds and what is going on with them. We would really love to help everyone, regardless of resources. We are going to talk about the different aspects of what makes up treatment and things that can make private treatment more expensive. If we could help everyone for free, we would. But there are a lot of resources that go into treatment, and we break some of that down today. Show Notes: [05:35] When Ben went to get sober at a state funded detox, they would only open the door when someone left. There is a lot of demand for free detox. [06:45] On average, some places can be $80,000 for 30 days. These are for people who have a lot of money. Most private in-patient treatment can run $20,000 to $30,000 a month. [08:14] Private insurance can have an upfront deductible that the patient pays. Insurance companies authorize a certain amount of days. They don't actually pay what they are charged. [12:32] Treatment centers need to make a certain amount of money to stay afloat. Private treatment centers are a business. [13:42] Cash amounts are different according to the services that are provided. Licenses therapists went to school, and they need to be compensated. [15:15] You get what you pay for. A poorly paid therapist isn't going to be focused on the patient when they have money problems going on at home. [16:43] Business owners that take of their team have the positive results trickled down to everyone else. You want people at the treatment center to be invested in the clients. [17:47] Liability insurance and other overhead is very high at a treatment center. Accreditation and upkeep also take up money and man hours. [19:07] A brick and mortar facility where people live can have expenses really add up. They also have adventure activities and little extras like trips to McDonalds and gas for the vans. [22:22] Not all insurance companies pay equally, so sometimes there is extra cash required. We never know what they are going to pay. [23:39] Good paying insurance policies allow us to treat other people who don't have insurance that is as good. [24:36] There are different treatment centers and level of care. Look at it as an investment as opposed to an expense. Treatment is the most reliable way to get sober on the front end. [26:37] Make sure the patient is completely invested before a loved one puts things on the line with a lot of money. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Ep. 69 – Choosing the Right Treatment for Me

Tom and Ben talk with Vinny Bocassi about how addiction affected his past and brought him to where he is today. Vinny had a great family growing up, but once he started partying in high school, he just couldn't stop. He even found identity through drugs and partying. It actually took overdosing three times and being found by his parents and seeing how much they were affected to create a catalyst for change. Finally, seeing how hurt his parents were Vinny went to treatment. This was five years ago and it was his first and last treatment. Now Vinny helps others find sobriety. Today, Vinny shares his story, and how he was able to move past addiction and find identity in recovery. Show Notes: [03:00] Vinny was relatively young when he started with alcohol and weed. Unfortunately, once he started it was hard to stop. [04:11] His reputation from partying made him finally feel like he fit in at school. By the next year, he got into harder drugs. [05:04] He played sports in school and when he got injured, he tried opiates which became a huge problem. [08:29] It's the way our bodies respond to alcohol and drugs that makes us addicts. [11:50] Getting numb and being cool took over for Vinny. [16:10] After college, Vinny started working for Verizon. Even though, he barely made it through college and lost several scholarships, it took almost dying three times before he realized that enough was enough. [18:44] Vinny's parents dropped in for a surprise visit and discovered that he had overdosed, and they barely found him in time to save his life. [19:33] Seeing how hurt his parents were he decided to go into treatment. [22:28] He is now closer to his parents than ever. He was also his brother's best man. [24:49] Vinny now works at Chapel Hill Detox in South Florida. [25:30] When talking to parents of people going into treatment, Vinny shares his story and gets really vulnerable. [31:54] Going to a treatment center further away from home is the best. People need to be in treatment for at least 30 days. [34:18] Vinny shares the life young people can have ahead of them when they get sober. Showing people what sobriety is about, can help them see how great it is. [37:05] Recovery stereotypes need to be broken. Vinny does his best to explain the fun that can be had in sobriety. He even goes to music festivals. You are also more free to travel without the drugs. People getting high can miss out on experiences. [39:58] Vinny loves active stuff like American Ninja Warrior courses and working out. [46:14] Vinny just bought a house. He plays music and is becoming an addiction counselor. He wants to become a CAC and run music groups. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Chapel Hill Detox Vinny Boscassi on Facebook

Noah Kingery is a living inspiration. He runs Nutrition Management with 100 clients worldwide. He is also only 26 years old, yet he has overcome addiction, gained and lost over 200 pounds, and started and stopped a successful fashion business. When Tom heard about Noah's story, he knew he would be the perfect guest to have on the show to inspire listeners and clients. In this episode, Tom and Noah talk about Noah's story. The road to recovery. How different upbringings can affect addiction. And Noah shares a lot of wisdom around finding the right support and reasons to stay sober, overcome addiction, and focus on health. This is an inspirational story of success and missteps that are all part of life and living. We want to welcome Noah to the show! Show Notes [03:12] In 2007, Noah was playing soccer and chasing dreams. Noah wanted to escape and two years later he was drinking and doing drugs. [04:42] Addiction takes anything good in your life and destroys it. [05:47] Noah was born and raised in Bangalore, India. He has two sisters. His family never gave up on him through the addiction process. [07:20] Noah also gained 210 pounds in one year. Food can be an addiction too. [09:45] Noah worked in the fashion industry and was a functioning addict. [14:04] Ridding yourself of guilt and shame and adding accountability is one stepping stone to getting out of addiction. [16:25] People who cared deeply for Noah were shattered by his addiction. [17:32] Building a disdain for the addictive lifestyle can be incredibly strong fuel for making the right decisions. [18:20] In 2014, Noah ended up under financial investigation. He knew it was time to get sober and rebuild his integrity. [19:28] He used the gym and quiet time with the lord as sanctuary for release. A year later, he lost the weight and the problems were fixed. [21:13] He was under house arrest, so it changed his environment and allowed him to make drastic changes in his life. [23:30] He showed up and pushed through even when he didn't feel like it. [25:16] In 2016, he closed the door on the fashion industry. [26:19] His relationships hold him up and help him stay sober. [28:11] When people get sober one of the first things they want to get back is money. [29:39] He started Nutrition Management and had 13 clients. He wasn't sure if this was going to be a passion or a career. He was all in and wanted to do it full time. [31:58] He now has 50 clients overseas and 50 clients in the US. [32:32] Start to steward small things and it will add up. [36:47] Whenever urges for emotional eating start to come back, Noah reaches out to his support system. [39:13] It's so important to have one person that you can talk to on a deep emotional level. [42:37] Identify what you're running from. Identify what you want to accomplish. Deeply root how good it feels to make optimal decisions for your life. Find your purpose and your passion. [45:31] Remember how much work you had to do to get to where you are now. Recovery capital. The longer you are sober, the more likely you are to stay sober. [53:25] Noah is grateful for this opportunity and wants Tom to continue to create the impact that he is creating. Links and Resources: Nutrition Mgmt. Noah J. Kingery on Instagram Noah Kingery on Facebook Real Recovery Talk YouTube Ep. 76 – How Self Esteem Directly Affects Our Recovery

Everyone on the planet is affected by self-esteem in one way or another. Today, Tom discusses how self-esteem in general can influence addiction. In this episode, he talks about what self-esteem is and why positive self-esteem is so important for sobriety and getting and staying sober. He shares his own battle with self-esteem issues and why finding the root cause is so important. He also stresses that it's a process that needs to be facilitated by a good therapist. He talks about action steps that anyone can take to start building up their self-esteem in a positive way. By the end of the show, you'll be able to understand how the health of one's self-esteem can directly impact whether someone will have or develop an addiction problem. Show Notes: [02:03] Just after we did a show on the dangers of Suboxone, we found out that the manufacturers have been ordered to pay a 1.4 billion dollar settlement for negligent marketing. [04:14] Everybody has self-esteem. It can be good or bad, and it's learned over a period of years. [04:51] Traumatic events are a driver of negative self esteem. [05:41] The majority of the way someone feels about themselves will develop during their childhood state. [06:35] If someone has negative self-esteem growing up, the likelihood of them turning to something like addiction is higher. [07:43] One of the first things Tom and his team try to do is help clients identify where their negative self-esteem is coming from. [08:48] Figuring this out comes through therapeutic process. [09:19] If we can figure out what it is that's causing low self-esteem, we are in a position where we can reinforce positive things to build self-esteem back up. [09:26] Once self-esteem is built up, it won't be necessary to act out the way an addicted person did in the past. [11:20] Tom shares his childhood abandonment issues and how when he first began counseling he didn't believe that it was a problem. [12:12] Once Tom realized that he did have abandonment issues, it was a good place for him to start building upon that. [14:05] We want to know what happened prior to your drinking and using drugs that made you turn to them in the first place. One of the biggest reasons for this is one's self-esteem. [14:45] Providing a life that reinforces positive self-esteem will reduce the likelihood of your child turning to drugs and alcohol. [17:19] Once the self-esteem issues are established, it's time to reinforce and build up things that will encourage positive self-esteem. [17:33] People have to have some type of sense of identity and sense of security where they are okay with themselves. [18:00] Community and having friends is a big part of the sobriety process. [19:03] Take the top five people that you surround yourself with the most and you are the average of those five people. [19:39] Having a sense of purpose is a big part of the process. Having something to work towards will keep you going when you are sober. [21:59] It takes internal search to find your purpose. It's also okay to reach out to people and be vulnerable. [22:48] You also have to feel capable and have a sense of self-confidence. [23:19] Tell yourself that today might be hard, but you can get through it. If you don't believe this, you'll never achieve it. [24:22] Make a list of your strengths and things that you have accomplished in the past. [26:04] Eat good food and exercise. What you put in your body will directly impact the way that you feel. [26:57] Have some quiet time and go for walks on your own or listen to a podcast. [27:24] Be clean and take care of yourself and your hygiene. [27:38] Make sure you're home and living area is clean and organized. [28:10] Do things that you enjoy. Try things that you haven't done before to see what you like. [28:35] Doing all of these things will really help to build up your self-esteem. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Ep. 75 – Suboxone – Our Opinions – The Pros and Cons

Suboxone has been a hot topic for us recently. Today, Tom and Ben take some time to educate you about Suboxone, so that you can make an educated decision for yourself or your loved one. Ben has personal experience being on Suboxone and it was one of the medically assisted treatment or MAT options. It's also a drug that is marketed by the manufacturers. In this episode, we share some of the pros and cons of using this substance. We aren't against MAT programs, but some of the information can be misleading. We do believe that abstinence based long-term sobriety has better outcomes. We talk about the importance of identifying the proper candidate, some of the marketing, whether it can get you high or not, and much more. Show Notes: [02:59] Ben has personal experience being on Suboxone long-term. It's a medically assisted treatment MAT option. [03:19] One thing to be aware of is that there's a pharmaceutical company and marketing behind Suboxone. [04:40] We are here to educate you on the pros and cons of it. [05:08] Suboxone can help a lot of people get to that abstinence-based part of their recovery. [06:18] Suboxone is a partial opioid agonist mixed with an opioid antagonist. It blocks all other opiates. You have to be in full withdrawal before going on Suboxone. [08:12] Someone who is using for a long time would be candidate. They've made several attempts at sobriety, but their brain chemistry has changed. Tapering down and using Suboxone should help. [10:43] Suboxone is marketed as a magic pill or a cure. It really just assists in the process. [11:49] It definitely has an opioid effect for people who have a low tolerance. Used properly it can help change the lifestyle and help focus on treatment and therapy. [14:12] Suboxone is used in a detox center as a taper. Without medical assistance, a heroin user can go through a lot of withdrawals. [15:02] After two weeks, you should be off the Suboxone completely and have nothing in your system. [15:35] The problem arises when people start using Suboxone as a crutch or realize that it can get them high, then they are just trading one for the other. [15:47] People on Suboxone maintenance programs can be on it for multiple years. Coming off of the Suboxone will be just as bad or worse than coming off of the heroin. [16:29] Ben was on Suboxone for more than a couple years. Ultimately, the game plan should be to get off of everything, even if that plan takes a couple years. [18:20] Another thing to think about is what would you do if your insurance runs out or if the pharmacy runs out of Suboxone. [19:15] Ben will take someone through the 12 steps even if they are on Suboxone. You get the most sick when you drop from 1 mg to 0. [21:22] The tipping point where it's about to get uncomfortable is one of the hardest places for an addict to be when trying to maintain sobriety. [22:10] There's going to be an uncomfortable part of the process, but you have to go through it to get to the other side. [25:24] Are you going to reach your fullest potential when you are on Suboxone? No, the longer you are on it, it becomes the new normal. [27:13] Suboxone is a narcotic that wreaks havoc on the body. You won't be in as good shape having this in your system as you would be with it not in your system. [28:18] People are even going into treatment to get off of Suboxone. [31:42] Addiction is a symptom of something that is going on. Let's figure out what's causing anxiety that makes you need to take the anti-anxiety medicine. [33:40] We need to figure out what's causing all of these uncomfortable feelings and address that. [34:52] We aren't anti Suboxone, but we do believe you need to take an individualistic approach. [35:22] Don't make the decision to use Suboxone alone. Reach out to someone who has the education to help you. [36:57] Your loved one has to buy into their own treatment plan. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

Why do people leave treatment early? Tom and Ben we'll be discussing the top five reasons why people leave treatment early in this podcast episode. There are so many excuses and reasons that people use to say that recovery isn't working for them. Most of these come from within. We discuss the top five, and how these objections can be overcome. We also talk about each of the reasons and explain how they can apply to different people. Recovery isn't easy, and it isn't supposed to be. We talk about the importance of being challenged and having opportunities for growth. We also talk about how family members can contribute to the problem and more. Show Notes: [02:48] They are in denial that there is even a problem. Sometimes people have to be strong-armed into going into treatment. There are interventions, and things are taken away. [03:37] If treatment is forced on people, they may not believe that they have a problem. [04:10] Any part of the family dynamic can be in denial not just the addict. This is why we don't want the loved ones intervening during treatment. [06:54] As time goes on, people start feeling better and the addiction starts creeping back in. This is unfortunate because this is the time people start leaving treatment. Getting 90 to 120 days in treatment is the key. [07:53] The program is just too difficult. If it was easy everyone would do it. Without a challenge, you won't grow. [08:53] We have adventure challenges and make things difficult, so people have an opportunity to constantly grow. [09:44] Having to adapt and follow rules creates challenges that can help people in treatment grow and learn to face challenges. [10:40] We want the opportunity for things to be difficult, because it's about the application of the tools clients learn to use. [13:25] Withdrawal symptoms. People still feel bad after detox. This can cause people wanting to leave when they can't get through this uncomfortable feeling. [14:39] Post acute withdrawal can cause anxiety and depression where people still aren't thinking quite right. [16:53] If someone is clinically depressed, it's our responsibility as a facility to help with that. [18:53] It really takes us about three weeks in treatment to get into the work and see the patterns and behaviors. [20:00] Anxiety and depression can have an effect on all of these things we are talking about today and can prevent people from having the lifestyle transformation they need to make. [20:27] Doesn't think treatment is effective. People have been to multiple treatment centers, and they're not learning anything that they don't already know. [21:04] If you've been to 10 treatment centers, we have the opportunity to teach you how to apply the stuff that you've learned. Knowing the tools and applying them are two different things. [23:45] People can get discouraged and adopt a mentality of this is pointless, and I'm not going to do it. [25:38] Go into group with enthusiasm. If you've been to 10 treatments, you probably have something to offer other people. Try to find a purpose like bringing hope and inspiration to others. [26:26] I already have the tools to stay sober. You can't teach me anything that I don't already know. You have to create an environment where people want to apply the tools that they've learned. [27:27] People need to be in an environment that fosters sobriety. [27:57] Denial that there is a problem. The program is too difficult. We're still going through some withdrawal systems. They don't think the program will be effective. I have the tools to stay sober already. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

This episode is all about the benefits of adventure therapy. It's no secret that I'm affiliated with Rock Recovery and one of the things we offer is adventure therapy. This type of therapy has so many benefits. In this podcast, I'm going to talk about what it is. Why you would want it, and how it helps prepare people for a life during and after recovery. We offer activities like kayaking, paddleboarding, rock climbing, and more. We also understand the benefits of just being outside. It's our goal to create the best environment for the recovery of you or your loved one. Being located in Florida is the perfect place to get outside and try something new. Plus, the benefits are huge, and that's what I'm talking about today. Show Notes: [04:10] The purpose behind adventure therapy. It's a psychotherapy that's designed to challenge our clients. [04:37] Doing something you've never done before will cause anxiety and challenge you, but you come out the other side as accomplished. [05:28] We do a lot of activities like kayaking, paddle boarding, surfing, snorkeling, and climbing rock walls. These are a lot of things that addicts and alcoholics have never experienced before. [06:10] Before the activity there will be a lot of anxiety and then afterwards people will feel great. [06:28] It also removes people out of their element and their comfort zone. [06:58] Adventure therapy changes we do something different all the time. [08:00] We also do things that don't provoke anxiety like nature walks or just being outside. We also visit the Japanese garden. [10:20] A lot of our clients come from the Northeast and it is different in Florida. They get opportunities to do things that they haven't done before, and they begin to know and understand that sobriety is fun. [11:27] Sobriety needs to be worth having, and if it's boring no one is going to want to do it. [12:17] Adventure therapy also helps people be in the moment and eliminate outside influences. [13:21] In group, you won't retain anything if you're just thinking about what's going on back home. When you're out doing things, you have to be attentive and engaged. [13:58] Adventure therapy doesn't allow us to sit there and ruminate. It makes us be in the moment. [14:28] When people first become sober it's very important to stay busy and surround yourself with people with the same goals. [15:41] We need to be able to branch out, try new experiences, and surround ourselves with people with positive input. [17:10] We encourage people to try, and it builds their confidence and gives them a new joy. [18:39] We can cover everything involved in treatment while we're outside doing different things. [19:25] Giving people new opportunities to grow is one of the best ways to help with their sobriety. Links and Resources: Rock Recovery Center

Tom and Ben are going to be talking about using your time efficiently in recovery. They will be referencing the movie Moneyball, because there are many parallels between the movie and using your time efficiently in recovery. In the movie, the manager, played by Brad Pitt, gets rid of his star players who swing for the fence and replaces them with players who focus on just getting on base. The main parallel is the importance of incremental steps. You can't change everything at once. It's important to get sober and then work on life skills to properly transition back to real life and stay sober. Getting a job and paying your rent is an important first step to living real life while being sober. We talk about how these principles apply to the client, the facility, and the family or loved ones of the client. Show Notes: [04:35] Average players get on base. One base at a time, you still get the same amount of points. It's just playing it safer. [05:03] In treatment, there is a limited amount of time, so it has to be used efficiently. [06:01] Sometimes people in treatment want to change everything about themselves right now. [06:25] It's important to recognize at the primary purpose of treatment is to get off of drugs and alcohol. Setting the bar too high sets unrealistic expectations. [07:05] What we're asking clients to do is make progress. You don't have to go from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds. [07:10] We want to take incremental steps and continue to progress. [08:04] It's the responsibility of the family, loved ones, and clients to pick a facility that fosters an environment for progress. [08:31] You need something worth hanging onto after you stop drugs and alcohol. [09:40] IOP intensive outpatient is the step after the inpatient lockdown part. It's the transitional step that goes from treatment into the real world. [11:33] The responsibility of the facility should help clients acclimate to the real world. [13:41] Clients have a responsibility to look for work. [14:24] During IOP, clients need to take ownership of their own recovery. [14:37] Being in recovery is an opportunity to work on yourself and only yourself. [15:09] We want clients to take incremental steps and make a resume and map out potential jobs. [16:45] Clients need to progress and get to the steps that will make them self-sufficient. [18:59] Parents can unwittingly work against the progress of their loved one by making it too easy for them and not expecting them to get a job. [20:07] To get in a sober house, you have to have at least 30 days of sobriety. You have to be employed and pay the $150 a week rent on your own. [20:38] It comes down to a sense of accomplishment and ownership in one's recovery. [21:21] Don't let your whole recovery ride on a job offer. Have something in case your big plans fall through. [26:14] We are supposed to be exposed to things like bills and work during treatment. [27:24] Set yourself up for success where you are at today. [28:16] We see more success with clients that just go and do it. Links and Resources: Moneyball

A lot of people think vaping is a harmless and safe alternative to smoking. Even worse, it's being marketed to kids as a fun safe thing to do. Unfortunately, the vape oils and ingredients are unregulated, and we don't even know what is in them. We do know that some of the substances like nicotine can have detrimental effects to young minds and bodies. It's also very addictive. Even worse, a large majority of kids are trying vaping with their friends or vaping on a regular basis without their parents or teachers even knowing about it. This episode is all about vaping. I'm going to talk about the risks, things we don't really know, and what to look out for if you think that your kids are vaping. This is a new and dangerous territory that we all need to get educated about. Show Notes: [03:56] Tom talks with a lot of kids in school. One of the most common things he sees is that everyone is vaping. [04:22] When asking how many students have tried vaping 95 out of 100 will raise their hand. [05:07] Kids are vaping everywhere. They are even using small devices like the JUUL and discretely blowing the smoke into their sleeves. [05:59] Talking about it more and raising awareness should help arm kids with the information they need to choose whether they want to do it or not. [06:17] About 10 or 12 years ago, vaping was used for smoking cessation. [06:56] The idea behind it was to produce something that would help people stop smoking. [07:40] Keep in mind, we are only ten or twelve years into the e-cigarette craze. At this point, we don't really know what the health repercussions are. [08:41] We are beginning to see some health repercussions to vaping. [09:06] Now people are bypassing cigarettes and going straight to vaping. [09:57] Unfortunately, vaping is marketed as some sort of great thing. When it's actually very similar to smoking cigarettes. We are also seeing young kids going straight to vaping. [10:21] Kids who vape have a 30% higher chance of developing a cigarette habit then kids who didn't start vaping. [11:05] The nicotine content in these oils are high. [11:51] Vape oils aren't regulated, and they don't even say what's in the product. [12:24] Nicotine is the most addictive substance on the face of the planet. [13:36] Flakka is also being put inside vape oils. [14:47] Sometimes Flakka can cause permanent damage, and there's nothing you can do about it. [15:24] Nicotine has an effect on the brain, and it slows the developmental side of the brain. [16:20] Casual vaping can build up a tolerance and turn into habitual vaping. Months down the line it's addictive like a pack of cigarettes would be. [17:34] Inhaling nicotine also has a biological effect. [17:39] Vaping in vegetable glycerin can create popcorn lung. [18:49] The JUUL looks like a USB drive. Parents won't even know kids are vaping. This is marketing for kids. [21:17] Kids talking about the products to their friends are the number one form of marketing. [23:06] This is promoting addiction to preteen boys and girls. [24:02] Saying it's okay to vape, and it's better than the alternative is what ties it in to addiction. [25:30] Talk to your kids about these things. You are the parent. Reach out and find resources and talk about the dangers, risks, and whys. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Flakka

We recently did an episode called, "Am I An Alcoholic" today, we are taking that a step further and helping to answer questions that you could have if you are wondering if you are addicted. First off, we want you to know that there are no stupid questions and if are having questions about these issues hit the chat button at the bottom of the page and Ben or I will be there to answer your questions. In this episode, Tom and Ben will help you understand if you are addicted and some signs to look out for that might signal that you are addicted. Addiction can encompass a wide variety of things, but if your behaviors are out of control or negatively affecting your life it might be time for some self-reflection and look into the warning signs and see if any of them apply to you. Show Notes: [02:51] Alcoholism is somewhat like addiction, but addiction encompasses a large variety of things. [03:07] You can become addicted to anything but there is a progression to it. [03:41] Most people go to a casino to win money, but with slot machines people get addicted to the ritual. [06:14] Just seeing the bar, made Tom feel better, people addicted to drugs start feeling better before they actually do the drugs. [08:36] They say if you drink alcohol or do a drug long enough that it will literally change your DNA. [09:01] Addiction can be a broad term for the overuse of anything. [10:09] Early signs of addiction. [11:10] Physical dependence and can be two different things, but being physically dependent will cross you into addiction. [14:00] When you cross the line and doing drugs is destroying your life with many different negative consequences, those are probably signs that you are addicted or close to being addicted. [15:20] Some warning signs can include things like your friends changing. You might find friends who will drink or shop like you. [16:27] When Ben was addicted he thought everyone did cocaine. Now that he is sober, he found out not that many people do it. The people you surround yourself with matter. [18:27] When you become addicted, you start doing things that you wouldn't normally do and legal consequences come down the line. [19:47] Is pornography addiction making you late for work or ruining your relationships? Are you spending too much time online? [20:51] Your tolerance increases and that she drink or use more and more Health consequences come along with that. [20:54] All of these signs point more and more to some type of addiction. [21:15] Alcoholism is slow, but drugs can be more of an immediate type thing. [22:37] Methamphetamine and crack release a huge amount of dopamine. [24:51] Being in denial and not thinking that you are addicted could be a warning sign that you actually are. Links and Resources: Episode 68 – Am I An Alcoholic? Al-Anon

In honor of Memorial Day, I would like to thank everyone in the armed services for all they've done for us, and all they continue to do for us to keep us safe. A lot of people think about getting into treatment, but they have no idea where to start. They have no clue about what resources are available or what resources would be best for them. The whole process can be confusing. Today's episode is about clearing up that confusion. I'm going to talk about how to get to treatment, what are the best treatments for you, and by the end of the episode, you should have a good idea what the process is like and how to move forward. Show Notes: [04:45] One of the hardest hurdles to get over is admitting that you have a problem, if you are looking for treatment, you've gotten over that hurdle and understand that you have an issue. [05:00] There are different types of treatments like detox, residential, intensive outpatient, intensive inpatient, and outpatient. These are all different names for different levels of care. They all encompass teaching you how to stay sober. [05:27] Sobriety is the byproduct of figuring out what causes us to use in the first place. There is a therapeutic process for this, and you can really only get it in treatment. [06:18] Treatment also provides you with a safe place to be. You have a community of people around you that are struggling with the same things and have the same goal in mind. [08:17] Where you go to treatment usually depends on the resources that you have. If you have health insurance, you can go to treatment almost anywhere in the US depending on your benefits. [09:07] If you have a medicaid plan, there are state funded providers that you can go to. There are also state funded places and the Salvation Army for people with no medical plan at all. [10:14] If you have the resources to go to a private treatment center, do that. I hate to say it, but you do get what you pay for. [10:27] Private treatment centers have the ability to have better treatment options. Employees at private treatment centers are paid well. They went to school for their profession and love helping people and love what they do. Many of them are also professional counselors. [11:18] If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. This is the case with a lot of the people at the private treatment centers. [11:36] If you don't have the resources, a state-funded place will do the job. [11:48] Getting sober really lies within the person. If you want help, you will get it one way or another. [12:31] You can interview a treatment center. Have a list of questions. One of the things about sales is that you have to know your product. [14:12] Ask about the location? Is it conducive for employment? How many people are in the groups? Are the therapists licensed? How long have they been doing this? Don't go overboard. Time isn't on your side with addiction. [15:12] Get your basic questions answered and get there. [15:40] Set clear cut boundaries with your loved ones. You need to focus on yourself. Outside influence should be limited. [17:12] Going out of town for treatment can be uncomfortable, but it can also be the best thing. [17:49] Being able to go somewhere for 60, 90, and 120 days is an opportunity to create a solid foundation for your sobriety. [18:43] Don't let your family dictate where you can go for treatment. [19:19] Going somewhere unfamiliar is another opportunity for you to grow. [20:16] Local rehabs can be tied in with surrounding places like employment opportunities. [21:02] Drug addicts and alcoholics can be very productive people once they get sober. [22:38] Staying local keeps you in your comfort zone, your stomping grounds, and you know where you can get drugs. [23:26] State run places can also be harder to get into, because they have a waiting list. [23:55] Smaller treatment centers can also have a waiting list. They give more personalized care. [24:55] Options are out there whether you have private health insurance or no money at all. It's just a matter of seeking help. [26:29] It's amazing what people can do once they decide to get sober. Don't get stuck in hopelessness, because you don't have the right support or health insurance. [27:32] If you reach out enough, you will find the help that you need. Links and Resources: Alcoholics Anonymous Al-Anon Salvation Army Faith Farm Dunklin Treatment Center

Have you ever wondered if you an alcoholic? In this episode, we talk about signs that might mean that you are an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Most people don't just wake up and become an alcoholic. Although, some people may be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. There are a number of signs that when combined can mean that you are an alcoholic or that are precursors to becoming an alcoholic. We also talk about the importance of self-diagnosis, because you can't fight something that you don't believe is true. We also talk about recovery and how it is about living life without needing alcohol to cope. We share some of our personal experiences, along with, how recovery can be a great experience if you find the right place to do it at. We also talk about the differences between heavy drinking, binge drinking, and being an alcoholic. Show Notes: [03:25] Alcoholism has to be self-diagnosed. If you don't buy into it yourself, what path are you going to take? [03:36] We are going to dive into what is the difference between the problem drinker and the real alcoholic. It's going to come down to the measures that need to be taken. [04:21] Alcohol abuse is the precursor to alcoholism. It's possible with alcohol abuse that there aren't any physical consequences yet. [04:38] Alcoholics are physically dependent on alcohol. Meaning your body can't go without having it. If you start getting the shakes and having alcohol withdrawal, you have crossed that line. [05:06] With alcohol abuse and binge drinking your body may not be physically dependent on it, but it is the precursor to alcoholism. [05:33] Alcoholism is progressive. When you get to the point where you're substituting alcohol for the natural neurotransmitters in your brain, that's when you become dependent. [06:37] Once you've had a drink, are you able to stop? Not being able to stop, once you start, is probably the easiest way to define it. [07:11] People who abuse alcohol can generally stop. [07:52] Needing alcohol just to get through the day is a big difference. [08:36] Heavy drinking for women is having more than three drinks a day or seven drinks a week. In truth, these things can't really be quantified by the number of drinks. Drinking patterns vary. [10:26] Just because you don't drink everyday, it doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic. [10:45] Ask if you're able to stop once you start drinking for the night? [11:08] Binge drinking can bring you to the frequency of drinking daily. [11:50] There is a difference in alcohol metabolism with alcoholics. The symptom is a phenomenon of craving. Once you start, can you stop? [13:13] Age isn't a factor. People at any age can start drinking heavily and have it turn into alcoholism. [14:28] Tom was 26 when he couldn't stop drinking. He was in treatment with guys who were in their 50s. [15:09] If you're questioning whether you're an alcoholic, there's a good possibility that you are. [16:01] Even if you are functional, you could still be an alcoholic. [18:28] The very first sign and symptom of being an alcoholic is alcohol craving. It's the craving after the first drink. The first drink is the mental obsession. The next drink is the physical craving. [20:01] The mental obsession to drink comes from daily interactions and feelings. People go to treatment to learn how to live without drinking. [21:57] If alcohol takes up a lot of real estate in your mind then that is the mental obsession. [23:26] The more time you spend in a bar, the more you will drink and the more tolerance you will build up. Building up a tolerance is also a sign. [24:41] Alcoholism can be very slow and very progressive in a lot of people. [25:47] Alcohol is an artificial source of Gaba. The more you drink, the more you need to feel a buzz. [26:09] There's also a reverse tolerance where someone's liver and blood is so saturated with alcohol all the time that it only takes one drink for them to get drunk. Reverse tolerance occurs with chronic alcoholics. [27:28] Benzos and alcohol are identical with the effect they have on the brain. [28:40] It's important to get a doctor that's well-versed in alcohol and addiction if that is what you are suffering from. [29:56] There are only two substances that you can die of from withdrawal and that is alcohol and benzodiazepines. [31:46] Are you drinking alone? Is it something that is increasing? It can start out socially, but eventually gets to the point where you might drink alone. [34:35] Mood swings and irritability is a sign of being an alcoholic. [38:23] Despite the outcomes, we are going to continue to drink. This is where the consequences come in when you are an alcoholic. [41:05] Drinking in the morning. If you are sitting at home, and you can't function without taking a shot, you are probably an alcoholic. [42:40] Risky behavior is another sign. Such as doing things that you normally wouldn't do. [45:46] The inability to stop drinking after that first drink. [47:20] If you've had to ask

Talking to your kids about addiction can be difficult. At what age should you start? How open should you be? In this episode, we discuss all aspects of talking to your kids and loved ones about addiction. Every person and situation can be different, but we want to equip you with answers to discover what's right for your family without making mistakes that can end up backfiring. We also talk about the three Cs of control, cure, and cause. These are things that people need to do for themselves. You can support them in a helpful way, but you can't do it for them or make it happen. Tom and Ben have an honest discussion of what they have seen in a clinical setting and how they are going to approach these issues with their own kids. Show Notes: [02:45] Ben's son is 9 years old and he is at the point where he might have to make a personal decision about when to talk to him about the subject. [03:29] The plan that Ben is going to take is driven by the things he's already seen. [03:49] The three Cs. You can't control it, you can't cure it, and you didn't cause it. [04:11] You can't control it. The cause and control could come out of anywhere. No matter how hard you try, people are going to do what they are going to do. [06:29] As parents, we will want to control it. This can lead to manipulation and lies. You can't control your child's every action. [08:03] Ben wants to assist his son in making an educated decision. [09:06] Sheltering kids from the outside world can have an affect where kids feel like they are missing out. [13:09] Taboo and scare tactics don't work well. [15:14] You might have a good time, but it will come with consequences. [17:05] You can't cure your child's addiction for them. [17:24] Helicopter parents won't let their loved ones figure it out for themselves. [18:34] Let the professionals and the people with the experience handle the situation. [20:05] Young adults who have lived with very controlling parents end up acting out in ways that often times lead to drugs and alcohol. [20:55] When your loved one is in recovery, take a back seat and let the process play out with the professionals. [22:00] Sometimes parents have her over everything and want to know every decision that's been made. The client may not want their parents to know everything. [23:07] Even if the parent is a professional, they should let the counselors and the program work without emotional involvement. [24:15] You don't have to bring your child to every 12-step meeting you go to. [25:34]You didn't cause it. Addiction is addiction and it happens. You can't cure it, you can't control it, and you didn't cause it. [26:14] Addicts will make you feel like you caused their addiction, so that they can manipulate you. [26:44] They brought it on themselves, and they can get through it themselves. [27:07] Ben will give his son some exposure and answer questions honestly. Links and Resources: Alcoholics Anonymous

We are so excited to have Carl on the show today. Carl is a client here at Rock, and he is celebrating his 90 days of being sober. In fact, he says that he hasn't been alcohol free for 90 days since he was 16 years old. Carl has given back and contributed to our community and this conversation shows his commitment to sobriety and service. One of the interesting things about recovery is the diversity of people. People with different backgrounds, jobs, economic experiences, and different ages all coming together to battle the same problem. We talk about how being open and listening can broaden your attitude and actually help you learn about yourself as you learn about others and find common ground in the recovery community. Show Notes: [04:02] As a kid, Carl stole alcohol from his parents. [04:19] In high school, it was practically required that he party and be part of the in crowd. [04:39] His dad was also a highly functioning alcoholic. In the 70s, drinking was common and it was accepted. [04:50] Eventually, his social drinking became more regular. [08:28] Ben grew up where there wasn't a lot of alcohol, so he wanted to be part of the normal group and that's why he went and drank and partied. [10:06] Alcohol followed Carl through college. He also played sports which allowed him a regimen that got him through college. [11:26] In the business world, everything around you is about doing more and doing better. You are looking at the end result, and drinking becomes part of your environment. [12:57] After his 30s, drinking became an everyday thing for Carl. [14:32] We can all do a holiday of not drinking, it's a rest of the life of not drinking that's more challenging. [16:17] There is a diversity of people at the Rock Treatment Center. They have a gentleman who has studied human genomes. They have a kid who shot dope off the streets. A homeless guy. A stock market guy who's the number one salesman. There is a diversity of class and a diversity of age. [19:35] Carl has learned a lot by being around a diverse group of people who have the same problem as him. It's very humbling and enlightening. He finds the service aspect healing. [20:52] Don't be afraid to get into recovery with people who you think you don't have anything in common with. The real victory lies within crossing over the threshold. We are all fighting for our lives from addiction. [21:36] Older people have had a whole lifetime to develop pride and ego. It's a challenge for clinicians to break down the walls of someone who's been drinking for 30 years. [26:32] One base at a time can beat swinging for the fences. Something to think about. [28:34] Regardless of age the journey speaks to you. You just have to be there to receive it. [31:44] There's more to the process than just getting clean. [32:14] If you can get through the challenge of living with the diverse group of people and different personalities, you can get through anything. [33:20] The housing component is like 80% of treatment. The majority of the day is spent outside of the clinical setting. [33:57] You get opportunities to practice conflict resolution and learn how to deal with negative feelings without picking up a drink. [36:35] Don't assume you think you know what other people are about or what they have to offer. [37:14] Carl is more service driven. He thanks God that his mindset has changed. [40:18] Ben thinks Carl brought more to Rock than they gave him. Links and Resources: Alcoholics Anonymous

Therapy is a powerful tool for anyone, and today we'll focus on the role of therapy for someone who is struggling with addiction. My guest, Josiah, is a licensed therapist who has been in the addiction industry for around five years. He has a past history of addiction, so he deeply understands this topic from various angles. Early in our conversation, we'll take a deep dive into why asking whether a therapist has struggled with addiction is the wrong question. This is a common question for addicts to ask, but we compare it to asking an oncologist whether she has ever had cancer before letting her treat yours. We'll also explore the importance of vulnerability, what to expect when you start going to a therapist for the first time, and much more. Show Notes [01:23] Tom introduces today's guest, Josiah, a licensed therapist. [01:59] Josiah tells listeners a bit about himself and explains how he got into therapy and the addiction industry. [03:15] What does Josiah say to the opinion that a therapist should have personal experience with addiction? [05:23] Josiah shares something else that he tells people who are concerned about their therapist having had an addiction problem. [07:18] We hear Josiah's thoughts on the root behind the question of whether a therapist has a history of addiction. [11:18] Why would someone want to see a therapist? [14:37] Tom elaborates on the role of vulnerability in what Josiah has been talking about. [16:39] Outside of drug addiction and alcoholism, who should really see a therapist? [19:45] We learn about the #1 thing that Josiah tries to do in his therapy practice. [21:40] Tom points out that you need to get through the uncomfortable to have growth. [23:25] "What you put into therapy is what you're going to get out of it," Josiah explains. [25:20] What should someone expect if they're walking into a therapist's office for the first time? [28:20] The length of therapy is determined between the therapist and the client, Josiah points out. [29:35] Tom talks about people's expectations of the length of therapy, and how it relates to holding onto control. [31:08] Josiah talks more about the potential expectations when you start therapy, and why they're problematic. [33:55] How do you know when you're done with therapy? [37:01] Josiah shares his final thoughts for listeners, pointing out that therapy isn't about whether there's something wrong with you. Links and Resources: Al-Anon

Josh Gamaitoni is here today. Josh is the National Director of Business Development for Banyan Treatment Center. Josh has helped so many people and is a legend in the treatment world. It wasn't always that way, though. Josh started doing drugs when he was 10 and went on a downward spiral as he grew up. He eventually tried some treatment options, but nothing stuck until he decided that getting sober was something he was going to stick to for a year. After getting sober, he became a janitor at a church. He also realized that being sober was something that he enjoyed and made it a permanent lifestyle choice. His confidence also grew, and he became sincerely interested in talking to people and helping them. Eventually, he began working in treatment and became the legend he is today. Josh and Tom also go way back as they got sober together at the same time and the same place. Ben joins them for this inspirational conversation. Show Notes [04:23] Josh started using drugs at 10 years old and went down a rapid path of addiction. He got sober around 21 years old. This was the first real program he went into. [07:01] He used afterwards, and needed help. He was broken and really wanted to get sober and do something in his life. [08:42] He is a firm believer in getting away. Going to South Florida helped Josh. [10:15] He got into a really great program. He did 45 days and moved into a recovery home. HOP is a house of principles. [17:12] It's beneficial to get out of your own backyard when you are going into recovery. [20:15] If you surround yourself with people who you want to be like, do what they do. [21:57] Josh realized he did have a drinking problem. He had an anything that made him feel better problem. [24:01] Josh became a janitor at the church. He soon learned how to talk to people and eventually, he became the National Director of Business Development at Banyan Treatment. [28:58] Josh manages and helps people do what he does. He also goes to the clinics and shares his story. [33:06] Communication skills are so important. We need to talk to people in a way that they are able to receive that. [33:43] Trust and transparency are very important, because people need to feel safe and know that you have their best interest at heart. [37:37] It's okay to take the time and see a therapist. It's okay to not be okay and do what it takes to feel better. [40:22] Josh is a huge fan of interventions. It's planned chaos. There are different approaches. You can usually find one that works. [47:29] Sometimes people are so crazy when they are out there, that they just need to be stopped. Also people sometimes don't know what they want. [50:50] How do you know you want sobriety if you've never been sober before? [53:40] Josh spends his time today, helping people find sobriety. His wife is also a therapist. He loves what he does. [01:00:16] Josh wants more resources available and one day there will be a way to help everyone that is lost. [01:04:35] Holding the truth in his heart is one thing that has helped Josh during the trying times. Links and Resources: Banyan Treatment Center

We are big proponents of the 12-step program. There is also a spiritual component of the program. For many people this can be a big turn off. Other people have trouble reconciling the difference between spirituality and their individual religion. We talk about all of this today with our guest Elliott Hughes. Elliott is the National Outreach Coordinator for Chapel Hill Medical Detox. In this episode, he shares his struggles with getting sober with just religion and how he didn't accept the spiritual components of the 12-step program. Then he shares how he learned to balance the two. He needed the support, community, and action of the program, which then allowed him to practice a stronger faith in his own religion. Show Notes [03:43] Elliott grew up in Indiana. He went to church. He was a decent student. He was an athlete. [04:35] in spite of his Christian background, he fell into the grips of addiction. [04:43] He began drinking and smoking pot at 14. Things progressed until he found heroin, which really brought him to his knees. [07:02] Elliott doesn't think it was rebelling against church that made him start partying. [07:40] He just didn't have a solid foundation and chose the route of partying. [09:54] The 12-step program talks about a power greater than yourself. It's a spiritual program not a religious program. [11:44] Ben found church in his heart and grasps on to the fact that God spoke to him through other people. [13:11] You can get sober even if God isn't your path. [14:07] When Elliott meets one-on-one, he doesn't want to dilute the message of getting sober by preaching his beliefs. [16:36] Ben was a late bloomer with the higher power thing. [17:36] Elliott tried to get sober through church for years. [18:05] Elliott tried a 12-step program and it didn't work. Then he started a faith-based program, but just going to church wasn't enough. [19:25] It takes more than just going to church. You need a program combined with spirituality. [20:09] There is a sense of community in the sober community. It's hard to find like minded people at church who are also struggling with addiction unless you tell everyone about it. [21:07] With the 12-step program you do more than just attend meetings you have to take action. [21:20] There's a sense of community with like-minded people you all have the same goals and there's a service aspect. There is also the sponsor and sponsee part. [23:02] The 12 steps and the program gave me a practical way to take a look at myself that going to church didn't. [24:42] When people aren't vulnerable and honest, you can't see their transformation. [28:19] Faith without works is dead. [31:22] What Ben knows is from experience. We can use our struggles for His glory. [32:57] Elliott struggles between the balance of spiritual and religious. It's important for him to have the balance and feed himself spiritually. [34:40] Someone who hasn't struggled with addiction can't help him like someone who has could. [36:49] The difference between religion and spirituality for Elliott was a shift in his heart. [39:06] Spirituality is about the relationship you build with your higher power. [43:11] If people are out there struggling, they should just hold on because they can recover. Links and Resources: Chapel Hill Medical Detox Real Elliott Hughes on Facebook Real Elliott Hughes on Instagram

Joyce Matera is the National Marketing Director for Inspire Recovery. Inspire is located in West Palm Beach and it's specifically for people under the LGBTQ umbrella with a specific focus on helping transgender people. Having a safe place for people to go where they can be who they are and get help with like minded people while going through recovery is so important. Tom, Ben, and Joyce talk about Joyces background and how she got involved in the community and recovery industry. Joyce shares some of the issues that are specific to clients at Inspire and why it is so important to find a peer group that they can trust. They talk about important aspects of recovery and how it specifically applies to this underserved community. Show Notes [02:21] Joyce has been in recovery for 35 years. She was a gay activist during the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. [02:40] A lot of her friends passed away from AIDs. It was also hard for gay people with human rights issues. [03:01] She moved to Florida about 12 years ago. She discovered there were treatment centers all over the place. She wanted to do service and saw a gay guy getting bullied at an AA meeting. [03:50] She realized there were no treatment options specifically for people in the LGBTQ community. She opened Lambda North which was a 12-step clubhouse. [04:07] They have a lot of events for support and meetings. [04:20] Inspire Recovery in West Palm Beach is specifically for the LGBTQ community. Joyce helps educate people about issues related to the treatment facility. [05:34] People are housed at Inspire Recovery according to their personality, because they don't see gender. [06:18] People fall in love at treatment centers all the time. [06:55] Most treatment centers are gender specific. Many treatment centers don't know how to house transgender people, so there was a need for this specific treatment center. [08:26] They have created a community where people can get peer support and find sponsors and go through the Big Book and whatever things they need to do. [10:15] Everything operates like a regular treatment center. They just don't separate clients by gender. [10:42] Most of the staff is under the LGBTQ umbrella and is in long-term recovery. Everyone can still use training. [13:18] The goal is to bring out the human factor in each person. They are just experts in the LGBTQ community and the transgender community. [15:44] A lot of the community hid their identity. It's a lot easier for younger people to be who they are. [16:39] They also get clients in their 50s and 60s who have shame over their identity. [17:15] If a center isn't a good fit, that person needs to be referred to a place that is a better fit. [19:08] At Inspire, they believe hormone replacement therapy is a human rights issue. They have created a safe place to explore. [21:32] The transgender community is a underserved population that has been marginalized all of their lives. Inspire is the only place that helps predominantly transgender people. [25:57] Groups at Inspire are centered around healing, trauma, and bullying. [26:57] People used to stay at Inspire for a year, now the program is two to three months. [28:16] Many people stay in the area after building a community and finding peers. [30:25] If you're struggling with your sexual identity or gender identity and need a safe place, give inspire a call. They are open 24/7. Links and Resources: Inspire Recovery (561)899-6088 Joyce Matera on LinkedIn Lambda North

Josh McBride now works at Coastal Detox after his own experience with recovery. Josh's journey is different from many people's. He was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease at an early age, and eventually his pain management led him to addiction and moving to street drugs. Passing out in his car, led him to a 75-day stay in jail without any drugs or medication. Josh shares his journey with Tom and Ben. He talks about how he didn't have a lot of resources and had to turn to county and free resources. He also talks about the mind shift he had that convinced him to finally take recovery seriously. His story is unique and his perspective is inspirational. This is a wonderful conversation about how to think about recovery and how to find a way to accomplish it. Show Notes [02:49] Josh is originally from Orlando. [03:00] At a young age, Josh was diagnosed with crohn's disease. He began using pain meds to control the symptoms of his disease. [03:44] Eventually, he became chemically dependent and struggled with addiction for at least 10 years. [04:45] In his early twenties, he accepted that he wasn't going to live long and just wanted to stay comfortable with this medication. [05:01] Unfortunately, the pain pills led to heroin and in 2011, a police officer found him hunched over in his car. [06:17] He went to pill mills and got pills. [08:53] He ended up selling his prescription drugs and buying street drugs. He overdosed, convinced the doctor in the hospital to give him oxy, and when he was released he shot up in his car. [11:42] People who overdose are medically discharged within an hour. There are gaps. People need to get into treatment after overdosing. [14:08] Josh's experience getting clean is different from the average person's. [14:55] In 2011, when Josh was arrested, he was put in a county jail that had a lot of different rules. He began a cold turkey detox. He was there 75 days. His mom asked the jail to keep him for two more days until a Monday, so he could go straight into a Faith Farm work program. [19:21] He was released on the Saturday, and he walked five miles to a county detox program. They kept him safe for two days, and then his mom took him to Faith Farm. [21:17] He was at Faith Farm for almost two years. [24:18] He had to put in a lot of work with his Christian based recovery. He took feedback even when he didn't believe in it. [27:35] Josh works at Coastal Detox, and it's a great facility. [28:02] People need to be under supervision when they are coming off of drugs. There is also a psychological factor. Coastal offers an interdisciplinary approach, plus all of the client's needs are taken care of. [30:03] Couples need to be split up to be treated in a healthy way. [30:23] There are resources out there for people who don't have good insurance coverage. [33:58] There are many ways for people to get clean. There are different paths. Pay attention to what is available to you. You just need a little motivation and be willing to ask for help when you feel discouraged. Links and Resources: Faith Farm Coastal Detox

Ira Levy is the National Marketing Director of Sunrise Detox. Ira has 28 years in the sobriety industry and has been sober since 1980. Ira got into the industry by accident, but continued to learn, educate himself, and move up. He has worked in every aspect of the industry and is as passionate about helping clients as he is about educating their families. Tom, Ben, and Ira talk about the detox process and what patient and family members can expect. Ira shares some of his own personal experience about how important it is to decide not to use and then find other ways to cope with life events. We talk about the importance of family members learning about addiction, how to find a good treatment facility, and the importance of individualized treatment. Show Notes [03:02] Ira stumbled into the recovery business by accident. 28 years ago he moved to Florida as a health tech and worked his way up. [03:57] The owners of Sunrise Detox needed a marketer who understood the treatment industry. Ira has been with them for 15 years. [04:54] Sunrise started with one facility and perfected their program, and now they have 8 facilities. [05:04] Ira has really worked in every aspect of the industry. [06:52] Ira has been sober since 1980. [08:31] Ira went through [09:18] Ira finally gave sobriety a real try. Mistakes happen in sobriety and life, but you really just need to try. [10:18] A turning point for Ira was when his father passed away, and he wanted to get high. A friend of his said if that will bring your father back let's do it. This was a turning point in his life and he didn't get high. [11:03] Ira tries to get patients at Sunrise to understand some of the right ways to success. [11:55] When something bad happens, and you want to use, stop and think about where you will be in 72 hours. [14:48] Ira is available 7 days a week to speak to families and explain what's going to happen. Sometimes people just want to know what happens in detox. [15:15] Ira tries to educate the patient and let them know what detox going to be like and that it's going to be a positive experience. [15:42] He wants to educate people, and he will help them find the proper place even if Sunrise isn't for them. [17:27] Sunrise won't take people in if it's not a good fit. [18:17] Ira recommends to trust your gut and your gut feeling. You want to feel warm, welcome, and nurtured. [20:26] Education is so important in these centers. The client or patient needs to be detoxed, and the family needs to be educated. [23:52] Sunrise does accept people on methadone. The detox process is longer. It can be done and Sunrise has success. It's usually a 14 to 21 day detox. [26:45] They also mix clinical in with medical. [28:49] MAT or medication-assisted treatment doesn't have a great success rate. It needs to be done right. Treatment needs to be individualized. [32:05] It's a struggle to get insurance companies to cooperate. [35:42] Ketamine is now having a resurgence. [37:58] Contact people who have a passion for recovery and don't make a rash decision. Explore options. [40:14] Research addiction to help your loved one. Go to Al-Anon and learn about the process. [43:59] The average time to get medically stable and detox is 6 or 7 days and then the client can move to a sobriety program. [45:51] After detox, some kind of therapy can be helpful. People need to commit to an aftercare program that fits their life. [48:08] From a medical standpoint, alcohol and benzos are the most medically dangerous to stop cold turkey. Links and Resources: Sunrise Detox Al-Anon

Alex Uslar is the manager of the Hybrid Gym and the Director of Operations for the online company Hybrid Performance Method. Alex is a powerlifting, weight lifting, and crossfit coach. The Hybrid Performance Method is a virtual gym that provides accessible, affordable, and effective online workout programs to athletes of all skill and experience levels. In this episode, we talk about Alex's journey and how he used nutrition and working out to stay sober. Like many addicts, Alex had a rough start and turned to alcohol and drugs. Unlike many, he discovered what he wanted to do at a young age. He was then able to harness that desire and use it as fuel for sobriety. We talk about his journey and how he was able to turn his experience into a positive. Show Notes [02:47] Alex is 26 years old, and he just had his 7 years sobriety date. [02:59] He was born in South Florida and moved to Pensacola when he was 4 years old. [03:15] When he was 13, he moved to Miami. [03:44] He had some emotional and psychological abuse when he was younger. [04:13] He was expelled from private school, and he started public school in the middle of the year. [04:47] It only took two or three days before kids tried to sell him drugs. [05:06] He started smoking marijuana. [05:31] There are people who drink super heavily in the punk rock scene. They're also the straight edge kids. [05:49] Things escalated after 8th grade for him. [06:51] His parents are from Venezuela. [07:18] His family left Venezuela when things got really bad, but his dad stayed over there. [08:01] Ben and Tom see a lot of clients who have had instability in their lives when they were young. [09:12] From 13 to 19, Alex's entire life revolved around music and partying. [10:51] Alex wouldn't change or trade anything that he went through, because without that he wouldn't be where he is now. [12:49] He dropped out of school and in the process, he got arrested. The counseling he had to go through helped him a lot. [17:09] He still went down a super destructive path. When he was 19, he wanted to get his act together. [20:29] The catalyst for him was getting a DM from an older punk rocker who owned a gym. They had similar stories and signing up for the gym was his first day sober. [21:23] He even realized that he wanted to work at a gym. [21:53] Staying sober and staying mentally strong and going to the gym was one of the hardest things he did. He had to relearn how to live. [25:34] He was given an opportunity to do an unpaid internship at the gym. The owner was his mentor in sobriety and coaching. He eventually became one of the head coaches. [32:06] Follow your passion if you work hard, you have the opportunity to rewrite the script. [32:46] Taking steps forward can be uncomfortable. [33:56] Alex became an extrovert as he learned how to sell gym memberships. There weren't any promises that he would get hired. He still worked hard and kept getting more and more work. [35:44] He ended up with the most personal training clients and made more money than anybody at the gym. [36:32] He showed so much ambition and desire that he kept growing and growing until h maximized his abilities and income. [38:52] Alex left his mentor's gym in 2017 to go work for Hybrid. [40:18] They talked three or four days ago. [45:18] People come and go in life sometimes. [47:16] Utilizing fitness and nutrition in sobriety. Alex feels people need something to rely on. [49:39] He believes that you control your thoughts and your actions. [52:06] At the end of the day, we are all trying to get to a better place. [53:58] If you don't want to look for a higher power, find a higher purpose. [55:46] Alex got sober by working out. [57:44] He loved seeing his clients transform. Now his social media following has grown. Links and Resources: Hybrid Performance Method Alex Uslar on Instagram The OK Podcast by Tom Boyden & Jujimufu Stefi Cohen & Alex Uslar

Tom's friend Blake Cohen is here to today to talk about his work, his recovery, and his upcoming book, "I Love You More" which is coming out in June. Tom and Blake have gotten to know each other while being part of a program where they go to schools and talk to students about addiction including everything from vaping to heroin. Blake is the National Outreach Manager at Recovery Unplugged which is a recovery program that includes music as part of the program. Blake and Tom have a lot in common and in this episode, they discuss addiction, recovery, and Blake's story. Blake also talks about why he wrote his book and what the purpose and format is. They both discuss their passion for helping addicts find a way to recovery in a positive life changing way that only gets better over time. Show Notes [03:03] Blake had a great childhood. Sometimes he thinks he's an example of a person who could never develop an addiction. [03:41] He grew up in Boca Raton, Florida. His brother did struggle with addiction. [04:39] When opiates were introduced in Blake's life, he immediately got hooked. He had surgery on his wrist and got a prescription for pain pills when he was 15. [05:30] He loved the way he felt and took the whole bottle in one night. [06:01] He told his mom that he was in a lot of pain and got more pills. [06:44] When he was older he snorted oxycodone. It turned out his neighbor was a dealer. [07:42] Things evolved and Blake got arrested and went to some treatment centers. [08:13] His family held an intervention and sent him to treatment, and he got sober. [09:02] He majored in Psychology at UCF. He then switched to FAU. [10:06] Geographical change doesn't make everything okay. [11:38] Blake's Mom had back pain, and there were pills around. [13:30] Blake got sober at 25. [16:46] When his family found out everything that Blake was doing, he knew it was time to get sober. [18:15] Blake has always enjoyed writing. He believes in visualization and writing a book was one of the schools. [19:06] Blake's book is for the families of the addicts and for people to learn what it is like to go through addiction. There are three short stories that go into recovery, continued use, and overdose and death. [20:01] The book is called, "I Love You More" and it jumps from the different perspectives of people involved. [20:45] It's an easy to read book that brings perspective and has questions at the end that can be tied into a treatment center. [21:08] In his book, the stories are fictional but the emotions are very real. He interviewed people who have been through these situations. [21:22] This book is a powerful tool that can be used by treatment centers. [23:30] Blake currently works for Recovery Unplugged. It's a really special program that has music infused throughout the program. [23:58] He is the National Outreach Manager and he connects Recovery Unplugged with the community. [25:02] Prior to this he worked as a director of admissions at another recovery program. [25:36] The fear of giving tough love is what stops family members from giving their loved ones the push that they need. [27:16] People in active addiction respond to tough love. That's what they need. [30:43] In the beginning of treatment, people need to be prepared to work and take suggestions. [32:48] Once Blake gave AA a real shot it worked out for him. Work the 12-steps. Find a meeting that works for you. [35:16] The more we talk about it and educate people the more comfortable people will feel about asking for help. Links and Resources: Recovery Unplugged Alcoholics Anonymous

Getting clean and sober can be stressful. We try to do everything possible to help people going through recovery deal with stress. It's scientifically proven that exercise will help reduce stress levels. This is why we can't emphasize the importance of exercise enough in the process of getting clean and sober. Today's episode is about exercise and why it is important to incorporate into your journey. Tom and Ben will be discussing this important topic along with the benefits of exercising throughout the recovery process and how exercise can affect your overall physical and mental well being. It can even have an effect on heart health and inflammatory issues. Show Notes [02:23] Stress reduction. Exercise is a natural stress reducer. It naturally correlates with the chemicals in your brain. It also gives you an opportunity to take your mind off of whatever you've been thinking about for the day. [03:42] Getting clean and sober can be stressful. There are a lot of things that you aren't used to doing that you now have to do while you're sober. [04:20] There is even research out there that shows stress can cause heart and inflammatory issues. [04:50] Exercise also incorporates into time management. Going to the gym right after work gives you an opportunity to step away from the stressors of the day. [05:46] If you exercise, you get better sleep. Most people in recovery are prescribed some type of sleep aid. It's hard to fall asleep when you first begin recovery. [06:52] It's extremely beneficial to wean off of the sleep meds, and exercise can help you do this. [09:57] Seroquel is an antipsychotic used for sleep. It makes you tired and makes you sleep. Tom became dependent on it. [11:29] Tom has to do something exercise-related during the day even if it's just going for some walks. It definitely helps him sleep. [12:15] In Ben's opinion, sleep medication helps maintain the addicts behavior and mentality. [13:11] While we're sleeping our bodies rejuvenate and repair themselves. [13:51] Improves mood. Exercising actually improves your mood. Exercise helps with the depression and anxiety that people in recovery frequently have. [15:45] We just built a gym and run our clients through a workout routine. We ask them to pay attention to their mood before and after the exercise. We frequently see people walk out of the exercise session with a smile on their face. [17:32] Opiates release endorphins. A runner's high is similar to the endorphins from opiates. It's the same chemicals on the brain. [19:48] Most people who get regular exercise aren't depressed. [20:10] CrossFit or something with a community workout gives people a sense of accomplishment. [21:15] We find exercises that we can modify for all of our clients. [22:06] Increase of energy. Energy capital. Even though exercising expends energy, by exercising you end up with more energy throughout the day. [24:05] Coffee and energy drinks are not the only way to energize. [25:26] If you work out you sleep better, if you sleep better you have more energy. It all comes full circle. [26:01] Exercise gives you a stronger immune system. It's important to have a strong immune system during recovery, because you don't want to get sick. [27:20] Exercise can help push out the last of the detox process. [28:49] Pot is fat soluble and can store in your fat cells. [30:07] Exercising as a whole will help with relapse prevention. [30:24] It's a challenge, it gives you purpose, it's something you enjoy, you sleep better and feel better. [30:59] Also add good nutrition and have a sense of community or a 12-step program, and you will be setting yourself up for success. [31:44] Tom just competed in a US powerlifting competition. [32:29] A big part of recovery is fellowship. [35:12] We have seen exercise work time and time again. It helps with mood and everything else. [35:47] This is why we incorporate exercise into our programs. We give people the tools they need and coach them through the workouts. Links and Resources: Ep. 27 – Is Steroid Use in Recovery Considered a Relapse?

Cotton Fever is the name of a condition that is caused by bacteria getting into the blood and creating extreme flu like symptoms and uncontrollable shaking. Unfortunately, addicts will use cotton to filter heroin before injecting it. If the cotton contains bacteria, it can get into the syringe and then the addict's blood stream and create this condition. In this episode, Tom and Adam discuss the symptoms and Ben shares some personal experiences that happened, before he was in recovery. The whole purpose of this episode is to make people aware of this condition, the symptoms, and what to do if they experience these symptoms. We also talk about the deeper issue of finding help for addiction and eliminating these dangerous behaviors. Show Notes [02:05] Cotton fever is caused by germs left in cotton that is used to filter drugs before being put in a syringe. The bacteria gets injected into the bloodstream. [04:24] Ben and his girlfriend both got cotton fever. He shot the heroin, and then got a severe headache, involuntary muscle shaking, and severe flu like symptoms. [05:38] His roommates could hear him moaning and got him some Tylenol and NyQuil. [06:20] Cotton fever doesn't seem to be fatal, but the symptoms are severe. Ben was scared when he saw his fiance go through it. [07:54] She was really frightened and even called her mother. They wanted to go to the hospital but were afraid of getting arrested. [08:15] They waited it out through the night. They felt a little better in the morning. [08:56] There isn't a lot of medical research on cotton fever. It is similar to flu like symptoms. Fever, nausea, anxiety, shaking, it can mimic withdrawal. [10:32] The symptoms are a bit different than withdrawal. [11:38] If it doesn't subside in a few hours or days, an antibiotic is necessary to kill the bacteria in the bloodstream. [12:24] It's probably not safe to assume that your severe symptoms are cotton fever. Seek help if something is wrong. [13:32] Ben also had a girlfriend who got a staph infection in her arm. [14:46] Ben was in detox and a woman who was there shot heroin with well water that wasn't sterilized and got an infection in her brain through her blood. [16:14] Opiates take a lot of the part of the brain that gives you the ability to have logical thought. [18:50] Addiction is scary and can cause people to make very bad decisions when it comes to how they get high. [20:44] If you think you have cotton fever don't freak out too much. Treat it with some Tylenol, take a warm bath and get some sleep. Drink water not alcohol. [21:24] The main thing that Adam wants to talk about is you shouldn't shoot heroin in the first place. [21:39] There are so many dangers involved. It's like Russian Roulette. Especially with all the dangerous fentanyl floating around. [23:19] If you're making a phone call about cotton fever or you're concerned about cotton fever, there is something wrong. [24:12] If you're having symptoms, and you feel you need to see a doctor, please go see a doctor. Links and Resources: [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]

Tom and Benjamin B. are joined by Keith. Keith is a rockstar when he plays the guitar. He is also here to talk about why it's so important to have structure within sober living. There are some places that don't have any structure, but a guy like Keith could whip them into shape really fast. Keith is a behavioral health tech. He has also been a house manager, and he is a recovering addict. He tells it like it is, but is able to do it in a way where he doesn't offend people and is able to gain the respect of the clients. This episode is a great insight into how structure can help someone move forward with their life. Show Notes [03:00] Ben and Keith have known each other for at least three years now. Keith is also in recovery, and he is a behavioral health tech. [03:12] Keith is known for some methods that are tied into the structure and regimen that we are going to be talking about today. [03:30] Keith is an addict. He came to Florida in 2013 from a homeless shelter. This is where he first learned to start having a regimen. [04:16] He didn't want to be drunk, high, and irresponsible anymore. [05:12] Get up in the morning, make your bed, do your dishes, take a shower, and take care of yourself. [05:42] A lot of clients that we deal with tend to be a little bit spoiled. Keith had limited resources, but took what was available and applied what he needed to. [07:06] Keith was grateful to have a roof over his head at the homeless shelter when it was snowing outside. [08:04] Keith lost everything and anything that came to him after that he considers a gift. [10:27] Tom and Ben both started this text as well. [10:47] Keith demands respect, and he is very straightforward with his clients. [12:53] Clients spend 90% of the day with the techs, and it might just be the most important position here. [13:53] You have to think about what the client is going through. [15:18] People aren't perfect. Who runs treatment centers? People. [17:03] The work actually starts after you get sober. [17:34] A house manager is someone with a certain amount of sobriety time. This is one of the hardest positions to find. [19:13] It's really a job on top of a job. [20:28] Being a house manager was an opportunity that Keith took while he was also working another full-time job. [20:42] This was his opportunity to make things different and fix things that were wrong when he was a client. [22:02] Keith has flipped mattresses, and even set up a guy's entire room in a gazebo. [24:04] Keith is always involved in exciting stuff, and his life looks like a blast. The clients seem to pick up on that. [25:00] He'll go diving and jump out of a plane all in one day. He has also broken every bone in his body. [26:34] Say what you mean, but don't say it mean. [29:05] Experience is what Keith had to bring to the table. [31:25] There is meant to be confrontation in treatment. The job is to give people the opportunity to utilize coping skills. [33:15] It's a client's responsibility to contribute to the safety of the treatment program. [34:07] There are people from all walks of life with every defect in the house. [36:22] Keith has opinions that bring truth and help the treatment plan have balance. [41:41] Keith is from the Bronx. He presents himself for who he is. Links and Resources: AA

Adam and Tom are joined by Myles today. Myles is 23 years old, and this is his first serious time in treatment. When he was 19, his parents forced him to go into treatment, but his heart wasn't into it. He left after 20 days. He shares his journey and how alcohol contributed to a serious health issue. Myles is now committed to treatment. In this episode, we talk about what has changed for him and what has shifted in his head to convince him to take treatment more seriously. He also shares how he went from a lonely place to feeling connected and being part of the community. Show Notes [03:57] Myles started drinking at the bar, and then just started drinking about a fifth of whiskey each night. [05:43] His parents got divorced when he was six. [06:44] His dad got remarried when he was seven, and he had a new stepmom and two step sisters. [07:23] Myles was by himself when he was six during those formative years. Drugs and alcohol became an escape for a period of time. [08:14] He loved pot the first time he tried it. [08:41] When he was a senior in high school his pot smoking really took off. [09:23] He played division 3 NCAA football. He was an offensive line left guard. He was around 300 pounds. [10:21] He lost around 70 lbs in his first year of football. He then packed all the weight back on, because he was drinking. Then he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and ended up in the hospital and lost all the weight. [11:00] The doctors think the congestive heart failure was related to the drinking. [13:19] Drinking and smoking weed temporarily made Myles problems go away. [15:47] Myles went to live with his grandparents in Savannah, Georgia. The isolation became worse, and he started drinking again. [18:25] Father Martin says if we don't handle our emotions they will always handle us. [19:07] If you hold emotions in, they are going to come out in negative ways. [20:23] Myles loved it when he first came to Florida. He needed help, because he couldn't put the bottle down by himself. [22:07] He is harnessing his past as a positive. [23:58] Myles wants to feel like he belongs and being part of the recovery community is helping him get there. [24:38] He found that he can contribute to the community and that life is worth living. [26:25] Myles was reluctant to feel vulnerable, because it made him feel like he was searching for pity or that he didn't deserve sympathy. [27:35] He finally saw that he had to be vulnerable to heal. He is getting over a lifetime of holding things in. This made him feel lighter. [30:04] Not letting people in can feel safe, but it's also very damaging. [31:17] Myles was actually thinking about continuing to smoke weed, but he realized that it wasn't a good idea for him. [33:35] Reach out don't make excuses to be alone in life. Links and Resources: Father Martin's Chalk Talk on Alcohol