Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens

Today we are going to talk about all things empathy. Why should you care about empathy? In this episode we answer this question. Empathy is on the decline in our culture and we will look at why. How does social media and out digital world impact empathy? What can moms do to help increase empathy in teens? Can empathy be taught? Are middle school and high school students capable of empathy? What’s the evidence that people can learn to be more empathetic? What is the empathy advantage? We will explore self empathy, empathy to others and empathy to our planet. We have a special guest that is highly knowledgeable around the research and science of empathy and also has practical advice for you moms. LYNNE AZARCHI, author of THE EMPATHY ADVANTAGE, is Executive Director of Kidsbridge Tolerance Center outside of Trenton, New Jersey—a nonprofit organization dedicated to fostering bullying prevention, anti-bias, diversity appreciation, empathy, and empowerment strategies for youth. She is a tireless advocate for improving the lives of at-risk youth in communities across New Jersey. Kidsbridge helps more than 2,500 preschool, elementary, and middle school students and educators improve their social-emotional skills each year. Azarchi has won many awards and her articles have been published both in newspapers and academic journals. She is a frequent speaker to parent and teacher groups, corporations and major educational conferences. To learn more about the book or to contact Lynne click this link. https://empathyadvantagebook.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's no way to escape stress right now with all that's going on. Parenting alone is stressful. The problem with stress is that it impacts more than your mind and your emotions. It impacts your body. Being in a constant state of stress response is not good for you or your family. This is more than being drained from all the drama, it impacts your biology too. It effects all the systems of your body including muscles, respiratory, cardiovascular, endocrine, gastrointestinal, and the nervous and reproductive system . When you go into stress response you release a flood of stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol, which rouses your body for emergency action. Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, and breath quickens. You tend to take shallow breaths which can make you dizzy. Stress that’s unchecked weakens your immune system, can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. In the book, Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, they talk about two very important concepts about burnout. Understanding the difference between the stress and the stressor. Completing the stress cycle. To feel like yourself again and get your mojo back you need to complete the stress cycle every day. I discuss several ways you can do that. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we're going to talk about what you can do to build courage and confidence in your teens. We’ll talk about why it is important to instill leadership skills in your teen especially your daughter and how to do that. This includes from being a leader of an organization, to being a leader among her friends, or even self-leadership. We also talk about the importance of resilience in our teens and what moms can do. And why instilling an entrepreneurial mindset in your teen is so important in current times. My special guest today is Amy Klein. As a former online TV host, Amy will make you laugh until you cry and find a way to make every #momlife moment humorous - even on the days when adulting seems way too hard. Amy has an award-winning sales and leadership background in coaching and managing very dynamic teams. Follow Amy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/givehercourage/ To find out more visit https://givehercourage.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are going to really love this episode. I interview Marcia Smart who is going to make your life easier. We talk about meal planning and how this can help you dial down the drama around the dinner table. Marcia Smart is a food writer, recipe developer and culinary instructor based in Houston. She has taught cooking classes for 20 years and contributed articles and recipes to Cooking Light, Sunset, Parenting, The Houston Chronicle and others. On her blog, Smart in the Kitchen, Marcia shares simple, delicious recipes and free weekly meal plans Marcia is not only a culinary arts extraordinaire, she is a mom of three teenagers. Marcia's advice comes from a mom who has been there. How do you put together a meal plan? Marcia makes it easy and has great ideas for meals when you have had one of those days. You can follow Marcia on Instagram and find great recipes at https://www.instagram.com/smartinthekitchen/ You can also find smart recipes, meal plans, cooking classes and videos at https://smartinthekitchen.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Teens are going to be curious, but it's not always positive. Parents can redirect teens toward healthy curiosity instead of unhealthy and sometimes dangerous curiosity. My guest today is Mike Alpert. Mike Alpert is the founder of Cogent Solutions, an educational consulting firm that designs professional development for teachers and administrators. Mike brings private sector experience to the field of education, where he used his MBA to become a project analyst at a wind energy firm before going back to grad school a second time to pursue a position teaching middle school humanities and entrepreneurship and working his way up as a Crystal Award Winning educator to an administrator position. Mike now spends his time empowering parents, educators, and administrators so they can more freely empower the next generation. In this episode he answered these questions. 1. Why is curiosity important? 2. How has it been historically cultivated or discouraged in school? 3. How can parents help to support curiosity at home? Are there any risks to be aware of? 4. What are some offline opportunities for parents and students that might not be obvious? 5. What role do teachers, mentors, coaches, etc. play in curiosity? How can you incorporate these aspects into your kids’ lives in the days of COVID? You can download the Graphic Survey Download for free at https://thecuriosityblueprint.com/freebies If you're interested in the Curiosity Blueprint course you can get a 20% discount when you enter the code "momswithteens" https://courses.thecuriosityblueprint.com/p/curiosity You can find Mike Alpert on social media @heymikealpert for Twitter, IG, and FB. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's going on with teens and e cigarettes? Dr. Kandi Walker answers this question. Dr. Walker is a Professor in the Department of Communication and part of the Christine Lee Brown Envirome Institute at the University of Louisville in Louisville, Kentucky. For over 20 years her work has explored the intersection between health and interpersonal communication looking at how people perceive the social world surrounding health issues. Her research primarily focuses on health, family, and interpersonal communication; specifically, her research examines how people talk and behave when an illness is present, how people perceive healthy lifestyles, and how people perceive and communicate about risky health behaviors, such as tobacco. With the American Heart Association’s Tobacco Regulation and Addiction Center, Dr. Walker has researched youth perceptions surrounding tobacco use. Here are some of the questions that we address. ·Is e-cigarette use or vaping an issue for teens? How many youth are using e-cigarettes? What risks are associated with vaping? What advice do you have with talking with teens about vaping? How do I talk with my teen about vaping? There is some evidence that vaping leads smoking initiation. What are your thoughts on this issue? Is vaping safer than cigarettes? What is the connection between vaping and using other tobacco products? What is the difference between e-cigarettes and Juul? Why is Juuling or vaping unsafe for youth and young adults? What role do flavors play with vaping? You can reach Dr. Walker at [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As you start a new semester, I want to encourage you--What You're Doing Matters! It's easy to feel like what you're doing does NOT matter, because it can feel like a thankless job, you're not getting the results you want, and you feel powerless to change your teen. The truth is what you’re doing matters. You have an impact on your teens. It would be impossible not to have an impact on your teens. A better question is, are you impacting them in a positive way or negative way. I discuss ways to make sure your parenting and relationship matters in a positive and lasting way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I interview Kari Kampakis. She is author of the new book Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter. We dive into her book and explore ways to speak life and see the good in your teenage daughter and different ways to be your daughter's emotional coach, Kari ends her book with 50 prayers for your teenage daughter and she shares some of her top prayers. This episode is full of sage advice. Kari is a top parenting blogger and national speaker from Birmingham, Alabama whose previous books for teen girls, 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know and Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For?, have been used widely across the country by teen youth groups and church groups to empower girls through faith. Kari’s work has been featured on the TODAY Show, TODAY Parents, Yahoo! News, Thrive Global, For Every Mom, EWTN, Proverbs 31, Ann Voskamp’s blog, The Huffington Post, and other national outlets. She and her husband, Harry, have four daughters and a dog named Lola. Learn more by visiting www.kari kampakis.com or finding Kari on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter. Love Her Well book: https://amzn.to/2EtDBFX Website: www.karikampakis.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/girl-mom-podcast/id1504764007 Facebook: Kari Kampakis, Writer Instagram: @karikampakis Twitter: @karikampakis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your teen tend to say extreme generalizations like "everyone at school is so fake", "all the teachers are mean," or "I have no friends." These kind of statements can drive you crazy. You think your daughter is being so overdramatic or you think geez my son is so negative. Why does this bother you? Teens often speak in one extreme or the other. This can be called binary thinking, black and white thinking or all or nothing thinking. The problem is this type of thinking is hurtful to your teen and to others. If you teen tends to speak this way, they are not the only one. Actually, teens from all over the world often talk this way. Why is that? The answer lies in Neuroscience. In this episode I will give you practical steps to move your teen past this all or nothing thinking including avoiding the drama traps. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has your teen ever said to you, "Why don't you trust me?" My guess is they have. This usually happens when you’ve questioned what your teen said, or you’ve said no to something he/she really wanted to do. When a teen says, "You don't trust me," it can be confusing for moms. In this episode we will explore why moms get confused when teens say, "You don't trust me!" We'll look at why teens say that and what they are really up too. Should we trust our teens? This is the big question. And on what basis do we make that decision. We'll let neuroscience answer that. Finally we'll look at the best way to respond to your teen when they yell out, "MOM, Why don't you trust me?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we explore the stories we tell ourselves and how they impact our lives and relationships. We have now lived in six months of uncertainty and this certainly has impacted us. And one huge way it impacts us is it shapes the stories we tell ourselves. Some of these stories we are aware of and many we are not aware of. The stories in the background of our mind can do the most damage to our energy, health and our vitality. We will explore some of these unconscious stories that we don't want and how to become aware of them and turn these stories into something we really want. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there more for you? In the teenage years you focus on your son or daughters future. You want them to have every opportunity possible and you’d sacrifice everything to make that happen. You want them to get the internship in Spain. You want them to get into the best university. But at some point this sometimes quiet and other times really loud voice thinks, "What about me???" Are you tired of your corporate job? Do you regret quitting your career when you had kids, because you've been out of the work force for so long? Do your wonder what's next for you? In today's episode I interview my friend and mentor Christine Kane. Christine helps people break through their fears and build wildly successful businesses from their dreams. Christine is gifting you with, "The Complete Guide to Vision Boards," which will help you tap into the power of intention. (link below) https://christinekane.com/visionboard-ck Before Christine Kane founded what became a multi-million dollar business-coaching company, she enjoyed fifteen years in the music industry, producing seven CD’s and a DVD on her own label, and selling more than 100,000 copies. She won a Telly Award and performed with none other than John Mayer, The Beach Boys, Los Lobos, Nanci Griffith, and Shawn Colvin, among many other luminaries. Her extraordinary success as a singer-songwriter had fellow artists, entrepreneurs, and fans asking how she did it while staying true to her art and herself. Those backstage questions turned into weekend retreats and set her on a new path. In 2010, Kane opened Uplevel You, a company that speaks directly to the ever-growing class of sensitive, idea-driven, aggression-averse entrepreneurs (a class she counts herself a member of). After just over a year, her revenues catapulted over $1 million. Among her early business successes was her self-published e-book, The Complete Guide to Vision Boards: The Ultimate Starter Kit to Get Wildly Clear and Create the Life of Your Dreams, which quickly became an Amazon best-seller and has exceeded over 75,000 downloads to date. Today, Kane leads a small yet mighty team at Uplevel World Headquarters in Asheville, North Carolina. Her openness and humor online, on stage, and in writing are what first attract her clients (or her “peeps,” as she calls them) to her and her approach to business. They become devoted followers and enthusiastic advocates because what she teaches works - their lifestyles and bank accounts prove it. Her first book will be published in November 2020. Check out Christine's podcast "Soul Sourced Business Podcast." (link below) https://christinekane.com/podcast/ Check out The Soul-Sourced Entrepreneur: An Unconventional Success Plan for the Highly Creative, Secretly Sensitive, and Wildly Ambitious which will be released November 2020. https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Sourced-Entrepreneur-Unconventional-Sensitive-Ambitious/dp/1950665445/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1C79XHN4IKIYR&dchild=1&keywords=christine+kane&qid=1596394985&sprefix=Christine+Kane%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we talk about a surprising way to be a leader in your home. My good friend Sue Ludwig and I were talking about Dr. Jill Bolte Taylors quote, "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the space," and how this quote changed her business, family and her personal life. Sue Ludwig is the President and Founder of the National Association of Neonatal Therapists (NANT), an organization full of passionate neonatal therapists who aim to improve developmental outcomes for premature and sick infants in the NICU. Sue practiced as a neonatal occupational therapist at the University of Cincinnati Medical Center for over 20 years. Sue is a sought after speaker, consultant, writer and educator. She is also a published author and poet. She is driven to improve the culture of healthcare, armed with decades of experience speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. ' Believe it or not preemies and teens have something in common. They both respond to the energy we bring into the room. We can be the leaders of the energy we bring into the room through intention, pre-deciding, taking a pause, being mindful of transitions, and practicing self awareness. There is a huge cumulative effect on our teens when we practice this and when we don't. At the end of the day Sue would ask herself this very brave question, "What's it like to be on the receiving side of you?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is the difference between a reactive parent and a responsive parent? Why does this matter? This distinction can change your life, your family and your relationship with your teen. If you want to create a secure attachment with your teen you want to be responsive and not reactive. You want to make sure you’re responding in healthy ways instead of reacting in ways that are detrimental to you and your teen. No parent signs up to be a reactive parent, it happens automatically. In this episode we explore the 4 characteristics of a reactive parent and how to turn that around. We will also explore the do's and don'ts of responding versus reacting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you safeguard your teens from Sexting? To answer this question I interview two experts. Heather Boynton who is a mother of four (three who are currently teens) and is a professor of Child Development at Clovis Community College where she teaches a variety of classes including child and adolescent development. AND Christy Monson who has an M.S. in Counseling Psychology and Marriage & Family Therapy from University of Nevada at Las Vegas. She established a successful counseling practice in Las Vegas, Nevada where she works with children and their families. Recently Christy Monson and Heather Boyton have coauthored Stand Up to Sexting, An Open Conversation Between Parents and Kids.. I have been a family therapist for decades and have seen many girls who have suffered greatly from the aftermath of sexting. There are so many consequences to the girl, the boy, the families, bystanders, law enforcement and school districts. Most of these girls were bullied into sending nude pictures. Often older boys would threaten and pressure these girls. They were promised that they would not share their picture ...only to have their pictures shared to multiple middle schools and high schools in their school district. Moms would bring these girls to see me, their heads hung down in shame. They were utterly humiliated. What I saw over and over again is that these girls weren’t bad girls...they were good girls, they were naïve girls, and they were scared girls. Many just didn’t know what to do and thought the only option was to send the picture. Christy and Heather wrote Stand up to Sexting so that parents and especially middle schoolers could have honest conversations. For this to happen the teens need to feel safe to share this secret with their parents. You can find Stand Up to Sexting, An Open Conversation Between Parents and Kids on Amazon. You can reach Christy at christymonson.com You can reach Heather at [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we have a very special guest Dr. Anna Tanner. Dr. Anna Tanner, MD, FAAP, FSAHM, CEDS, is the Vice President of Medical Services for Veritas Collaborative, a national healthcare system for the treatment of eating disorders. She is a Board-Certified Pediatrician and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist who has spent over 20 years of her career working with complicated adolescent patients with a special emphasis on treating patients with eating disorders. I invited Dr. Tanner to be a part of this show to talk about healthy eating, stress eating and eating disorders in our teens and what moms can do.. Brene Brown has said that the #1 area of shame for women and especially our teen girls is body image. Billions of dollars are spent in the beauty industry to make us feel that our bodies and how we look are not okay. Not only does this cause a lot of suffering and pain in our teens, but a distorted body image can manifest in eating disorders. This puts mom in a hard parenting position. Moms, we can get triggered when we see our daughter eat the entire box of donuts. Our teens erratic eating habits can trigger a lot of fear in moms. And when you try to talk to your teen about body image and healthy diet, it can be met with a lot of drama and emotional outbursts. Why? Because body image is such a trigger for shame. This is why I brought in an expert who has a positive approach and is full of very helpful information. Here are some of the questions I asked Dr. Tanner. 1. A lot of us are stress eating during Covid-19. Is that something to be concerned about? How should moms talk to their teen girls who are stress eating? 2. Most females have issues around body image. Culture norms and media plays a big role here. How can moms help cultivate a positive body image in their teens? 3. When should moms start educating their teens about eating disorders? What should they say or not say? 4. When should moms be concerned about their teens eating habits? What are the red flags? 5. What should a mom do when she sees these warning signs in her teen. What are her options for treatment? If you want to reach out to Dr. Tanner you can call 855-875-5812 or go to [email protected] or veritascollaborative.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is novelty? Anything that’s new, different, or unusual that gets our attention. Novelty happens naturally for our teens during a normal year with school activities, programs, dances and musicals, soccer games, graduation dances, parties and interacting with hundreds of teens in a day. Also novelty happens naturally in the summer with camps, vacations, work, mission trips, internships and foreign exchange programs. However, because we are still in the middle of a pandemic and many are still shelter-in-place, our favorite things to do and go to places are shut down. We are experiencing a lack of novelty. We are seeing the same people, in the same place, and doing the same things over and over again. Teens need novelty. This is hardwired in the teen's brain. In this episode I talk about the science behind novelty. Basically, novelty gives us the reward of Dopamine, the feel good chemical in our brain. Teens especially crave novelty, which leads them to seek out thrill-seeking-behaviors. There is an upside to this and a downside to this. Here's the challenge. Many camps and programs have been cancelled this summer. Teens are disappointed and are bored. Many teens don't have a reason to go to sleep or wake up in the morning. In this episode I explore how to create positive novel experiences for you and your teen in the middle of this pandemic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer is here! How do you feel? Are you excited, relieved, or more stressed? The moms I have talked to feel let down because many of their plans have been cancelled. Recently I talked to a couple that looked forward to going to Hawaii every other year and they had to cancel their trip this summer. Many of us have had our fun summer plans cancelled and therefore mom, dad and kids are disappointed. Instead of moms feeling relief about the summer, we're stressed and plagued with the question of what am I going to do with my bored teenagers? Bored teens at home cut into mom's personal space and work time. Summer can feel like an extension of the school year except that teens have even less to do. I know every mom has different restrictions from shelter at home to different phases of reopening. Despite what phase you are in none of us have forgotten about Covid 19. And many feel there is more pressure and uncertainty as our cities and states reopen. There are more questions like--now that restaurants are open is it okay to go? Is it okay for my teens to go? Do we try to take a vacation? Should we fly or drive? Is that safe? When your teen wants to go over and see her friends at a pool party, now there are even more things to consider about those decisions. So it's not easy and all this uncertainty just adds stress. This is why in this episode I give you Summer Tips for an Unusual Time for you and your teens. This will give you a way to think about this summer and how to make the most of it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I have a vibrant conversation with my friend and colleague Megan McNealy. Megan believes well-being is the greatest asset we have. She knows this one personally. Twelve years ago Megan was super successful in her wealth management business, and yet her body was giving out on her. She had crippling rheumatoid arthritis, kidney disease, and kidney cancer. Megan was able to turn this around. Her formula for her recovery is in her award winning book Reinvent the Wheel: How Top Leaders Leverage Well-Being for Success -- her book was featured on the Top 20 Must-Reads of 2019 in Forbes and was awarded a Silver Medal by the Axiom Book Awards. Megan McNealy has devoted her career to helping others reach their highest potential in their personal and professional lives. As an award-winning, 22+ year Senior Vice President and Wealth Management Advisor at one of the largest financial firms in the world, she specializes in working with senior corporate executives and has become known as the “CEO Whisperer.” Megan is simultaneously an impact entrepreneur and a prominent Well-Being Thought Leader who founded Well-Being Drives Success, a multi-faceted platform designed to serve those in our workforce who strive for exceptional wellness and extraordinary success. Her work has been featured in the UK Telegraph, Fast Company, Chief Executive, Thrive Global, Business Insider and Entrepreneur to name a few. During this stressful time of the COVID-19 pandemic, Megan has been one of the most sought after speakers in the United States on how to rise in this moment by prioritizing well-being. A guest on six high profile podcasts in the last two months, plus this one (!) she thought it would be a wonderful way to serve an audience eager for uplifting advice. Megan is a single mom of two teen daughters, She is one of us! Megan recently has interviewed eighteen top leaders that she had previously interviewed in her book Reinvent the Wheel and asked them to share their behind the scenes well-being strategies during this global pandemic. Listen to hear this very helpful advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I talk about how to get the most out of your relationship with your teen their junior and senior year in High School. When your teen is a junior or senior, what do you think it will be like? Are your expectations positive, (I look forward to having more quality time with my son and watching his soccer games) or is it negative (It's going to be a huge battle all year to get my daughter to take her school work seriously?) After listening to moms, expectations tend to default towards the negative their junior and senior years. I believe there is a way to enjoy your teen during their junior and senior year in high school. I mean really relish your time with them. Enjoy their energy, their liveliness, and their playfulness. In order to enjoy these years you need to avoid 4 big drama traps. Listen and learn how. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I am bringing you another powerhouse guest to help your through this quarantine time with your teen. . .Diana Graber. Diana Graber is the author of “Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology” (HarperCollins Leadership). She is the founder of Cyber Civics, an innovative digital literacy curriculum being taught in 44 US states and internationally, and Cyberwise, an information portal for digital parents. I interviewed Diana in the 52nd episode back in November on How to Keep Teens Safe Online. And ya’ll really loved that podcast. Diana really delivered helpful information in that episode and you won't be disappointed with this one either. Diana has graciously offered to our listeners a Technology Agreement that you can download at cyberwise.org in their learning hub. In this episode we focus on how to peacefully come to an agreement and not be battling with your teens about their screens. Also, we discuss what to do when teens want to stay in their rooms all day. Bottom line is that we want our teens to be safe, healthy, and flourishing humans both online and offline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode addresses how to gently get back on track. In the beginning of the pandemic our adrenaline was buzzing and we reached for comfort food, drank lots of alcohol, and binge watched our shows. This all made sense when we were in the acute phase of the pandemic, but now six weeks in we have entered into a chronic phase. The numbing takes a toll on how we feel. We can feel blah, sleepy, irritable and default into the why bother syndrome because we have gotten off track. I have invited Elizabeth Barbour as our guest today to help us think through how to gently get back on track. Elizabeth Barbour, M.Ed. is a passionate advocate for smart, sustainable self-care—especially for women who are juggling the demands of career, family, and life. Elizabeth has been an intuitive life and business coach, speaker, and retreat leader since 2000. She’s appeared on PBS and in Experience Life and Martha Stewart’s Body & Soul magazines. Elizabeth is known for her ability to inspire busy professionals to make Smart Self-Care an integral part of their plan for success in both business and in life. For immediate inspiration, you can download 7 Daily Rituals for Self-Care, Sanity & Success (a free pdf) at www.elizabethbarbour.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey moms I know none of you signed up to have your teens quarantined in your homes doing online school. This only adds more pressure on you. Are your teens procrastinating and not motivated? Are they spending way too much time on their phones? Are your seniors worried about getting to go to college in the fall? And what will college admissions look like next year? I wanted to bring in an expert that can help you with this. Neha Gupta is the founder of College Shortcuts, which is a leading college admissions consulting firm that has helped tens of thousands of students achieve their academic dreams. For more than 14 years, they've supported students with services in mentorship, college admissions, and test prep. Their results include increased improvements in students’ confidence, reduction in stress and anxiety, and higher chances of getting into their top choice school based on their own merit. She has been on every news outlet during this crisis and is a leading expert for teens and parents in the admissions process. This episode is full of super practical advice that will help you and your teens. Neha has generously offered a free discovery call to those who are interested. Just go to collegeshortcuts.com/apply to sign up for your free call. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we talk about How to Recover and Rebound Fast Part Two. Last episode I focused on how you can recover by paying attention to you (and not ignoring your needs), honoring your feelings, and asking for help and setting boundaries. Part one is designed to help you recover first, Part two helps you recover with your teen and family and rebound fast. Part one is answering the question "what just happened?" in you. Why did I get so triggered? Part two is answering these questions. What just happened with my teen and what do I do about it? How can I stay connected to my teen through this? How can we come back from this even stronger and closer? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this time when you are quarantined with your teens, and dealing with the daily bad news of covid-19, stock market, and the economy, you can see an increase in drama in your homes. I want to give you some tools on how to recover and rebound fast after drama. I want to help you dial down the drama and stress because high levels of this is going to weaken your immune system and hurt family relationships. What do you do after the big fight? Do you take intentional action to recover and rebound fast or do you do nothing. If nothing is done, what you can see over time, is that your teen shares less and less with you and spends more and more time in their room. How it impacts you is that you really don’t like your teen or spouse anymore and find you get angry, frustrated and hurt really quickly when you interact with them. What you can see is that everything becomes a battle, even the simplest of interactions. In this episode I give you some practical tips to How to Recover, Restore and Rebound Fast after the Drama. This is Part One of a two part series. Today I focus on helping you recover by 1. Don't ignore yourself, 2. Honor your feelings and, 3. Set boundaries and ask for help. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an unprecedented time in our history. The definition of unprecedented means, "never done or known before." Our old life has been temporarily suspended. This week we enter into a whole new realm. Mom, soon Your inner alarm is going to go off and you are going to feel like, "Okay everyone needs to get out of the house and get back to school,NOW!" Your kids will feel the same way. They want to get back to what they typically do. Everyone in your family is going to feel restless and off kilter this week…because its not normal. Moms this is new territory, and there are lots of unknowns. The old rules and expectations don’t apply. This is why I am giving you... Six Guidelines for this Unprecedented Time. Time to be understanding Time for low expectations Time to be flexible Time to be creative Time to lean in Time to extend grace Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Moms, I want to encourage you in this global crises. I know your life is up in the air and upside down and for this reason I wanted to give you eight practical ways to stay grounded and steady in these uncertain times. First, I want you to know that I am here for you. This is a very difficult and scary time for all of us, and especially hard on you moms. Your kids and teens are going to be home from school and quarantined in your homes for several weeks at least... And the hardest part is that we just don’t know when we will get past all of this. I feel for you moms. This is going to completely mess up your day-to-day schedule and beyond. Most of us have had to cancel our fun plans for spring break and our teens are disappointed and we are too. But there are many more disappointments with sports and musicals and concerts cancelled at your teens school. For 8th graders and seniors this is not how they wanted to end their school year. And this is really hard for moms, because we like structure, schedules, and certainty. The coronavirus has pulled the rug out from underneath us. Anxiety feeds on the unknown and we are surrounded with it. If you listen to the news for even one-minute, fear and anxiety can overtake us. Besides the coronavirus there are many other worries. But there are some things we can do! In this episode I give you 8 practical ways to stay steady and grounded. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode talks about the biggest drain to your energy, vitality, and your life. Fear...especially all the fear around your teen and parenting your teen. If you are a parent of a teenager; you can't escape fear. You are going to experience fear. The challenge is how to make the fear useful. Unbridled and unconscious fear can cripple you and drain you of all your energy, joy, and happiness. In order to not let fear dominate your life, you need a way to manage your fear. This starts with being aware of what your fear is...because if you are not, fear can unconsciously drive your thoughts, feelings and actions. This is not helpful to you or your teen. You can become paralyzed by fear and not able to protect your teen. Or you can become so obsessed about your fear that you are constantly combative towards your teen. This episode will help you take obsessive fear and make it useful. You will learn how to dismantle the F (fear) Bomb. You will learn a 3-part process; identify your big fear, Excavate the truth, and Turn your fear into action steps. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We can't always go to a tropical island to escape stress. In this episode I give you 3 practical ways to dial down the stress by... being kind to yourself dialing down the drama being intentional instead of reactive, specifically about the way you think about your teen and how you spend time with them. This episode is full of tips and takeaways that can dial down your stress today. We live in a stressful culture. Stress has become the new normal. We need to be proactive to resist this trend, and bring down the stress in our lives, relationships and home. Why is this important? If you don't, stress will rob you of everything good about the teenage years. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What you think about your teen greatly impacts you, your parenting and your teen. How you think about your teen is not hidden from your teen. It is very evident to them. You wear the delight, the joy or the fear, sadness or anger on your face. How you think about your teen comes out in your words. It comes out in your actions. It comes out in your questions. It comes out in your body language. How you think about your teen is the deep work of parenting. How do you think about your teen? If I asked you to fill in the blank. My teen is_____ . What would you say? Because teens are hard wired for drama, it's easy for parents to think of their teens in a negative way. But that's not the whole story. That is not who your teen is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode you'll explore what moms should and should not tolerate. An important question to ask yourself at the start of a new year is, "What am I tolerating in my life?" Clue, if you are not enjoying your life and you feel drained and you cant remember the last time you had a really good day, there is a strong chance you are tolerating something you should not be tolerating. What do I mean when I say tolerating? You are putting up with things in your life that you do not want. These things often annoy you, irritate you, weigh you down, and drain your energy . They can be things that you tolerate in yourself or surroundings, or in your relationship with friends, family or kids. You don’t choose to live a life that you are just tolerating. It happens over time. The problem is when you have been tolerating something for a long time, you don't even see it anymore. It becomes the new normal. There are 4 situations that you should never tolerate from your teen, if you do it will be detrimental to your teen and to your heart and soul. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have spent a lot of time listening to what frustrates moms. At the top of the list is not being able to communicate to their teens. When I dig down and ask the moms what they mean by this, they say they want an open, authentic, and positive response from their teen. Because if you don’t get a positive response you are not going to have the conversation or the behaviors/results you want. The million-dollar question is, “How do you get a positive response from your teen?” There are many aspects to this question, and here's a big one. John Gottman, PhD (a very well known author, clinician and researcher) states, "94% of the time the way a conversation starts, predicts how it will end." So, how you start a conversation with your teen is going tostrongly influence the response. In this episode we explore the difference between harsh startups and soft startups. You will be given 6 key components to soften your startups. Some of you might be thinking, “This just sounds like too much work…I’m going to just be myself and express myself anyway I want.” You can express yourself anyway you want--- but does it give you the results or responses you want? Yes, being more intentional, and strategic is a little more work . . .but the work is worth it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Moms have no problem being hard on themselves, but often have a hard time being kind to themselves. Moms don’t do this intentionally. It happens by default, because we are taking care of everyone else's needs we forget and don't take the time to care for our own needs. This is not very kind. My last episode was on expectations. Because we live in a culture of perfectionism we are often striving after unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves. We end up feeling defeated and that’s not very kind either. We live in such a fast pace world and are constantly bombarded with information, to-do lists leaving us with no time to breathe and that’s not very kind. In this episode we explore what being kind to ourselves mean, and how to do that in a practical, doable way. When we are kind to ourselves everyone benefits. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode focuses on expectations and parenting. To be human is to have expectations. Our expectations can help us feel hopeful. They can help us get through hard times and transitions. But they can also cause parents a lot of pain and be the impetus for drama. Recently, one mom told me, "I have been so much happier lately. Since I have adjusted my expectations, things have been so much better between me and my teenage daughter. This got me thinking about how big a role expectations play in parenting. They have a big impact on you and your teen. We will explore realistic vs. unrealistic expectations, no expectations vs. high expectations. We'll explore why teens have immature expectations. And why competing expectations between parents and teens can be a big source of drama. This is especially relevant in the holidays. Parenting is difficult because every day there are conflicting and often unexpressed expectations between parents and teens. The daily battle is often the competing expectations between immature expectations of the teen and the mature expectations of the parent. I close the podcast with some tips for managing these competing expectations in the holidays. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is about, Gratitude: Are You Feeling It? Even though Thanksgiving is just a few days away, this podcast is about (way) more than just Thanksgiving, this info is relevant 365 days a year. In this episode we will talk about why gratitude is good for us. It’s the gateway to true joy and even miracles. We’ll explore why being grateful is challenging at times and definitely not our natural state in this culture. Also, we’ll look at practical steps to put some genuine gratitude back into your life so that you are really feeling it. One definition of gratitude is, the feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. The key word is feeling. See, you can write 5 things that you are grateful for every night in your gratitude journal and not be feeling it. Naming things to be grateful for is a good start, but you are not going to reap the benefits of gratitude, if you don’t feel it. Did you know the root of the word gratitude is the Latin word gratis. Do you know what that means? You might think thankful, but it means to be free. So if these words gratitude and free are connected etymologically wouldn’t it make sense that the two are connected psychologically and even spiritually as well. Listen to see why. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I discuss How to Keep Your Teens Safe Online. with Diana Graber. Snapchat, Instagram, Fortnite, cyberbullying, sexting, and technology addiction are some of the digital concerns that keep today’s parents up at night. Moms toss and turn, worry, second guess themselves about their rules and boundaries about all things digital. This is why I brought in an expert in the field to address your questions. Diana is the author of “Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology” (HarperCollins Leadership). She is the founder of Cyber Civics, an innovative digital literacy curriculum being taught in 44 US states and internationally, and Cyberwise, an information portal for digital parents. Diana is an innovator in the field of digital literacy and trained in media psychology, Graber fully understands the overwhelming influence technology has on today’s young people and the challenges this presents. Everything a young person does online—every post, comment, photo—contributes to a digital profile that can open or close doors to their future. We discuss how Diana teaches reputation management and privacy with her teens. You'll learn what's the difference between Digital Drama and Cyberbullying and the importance of digital breaks and digital vacations. You can contact Diana at [email protected] and she will send you a PDF (Teen Hookup Sites Parents Should Know About.) You can visit her websites at: www.cyberwise.org www.cybercivics.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are going to look at parenting, through the lens of experience. There are many lenses in which we can examine parenting, like mindset. Today we will focus on the lens of experience. The goal of this podcast is to dial up thriving positive experiences with your family and dial down the negative ones by becoming aware of several X-factors that rob you of enjoying the teenage years. This is especially applicable as we approach the holiday season. Often there are parts of the parenting experience that we are not aware of, or we haven’t yet named yet. I call these the X-factors. One definition of an X-factor is, "A variable in a given situation that could have the most significant impact on the outcome." These intangible variables often are in the way of you having a happy home. You can’t ignore these variables. They have a significant impact on the outcome of your teenage years. They set the tone for your whole parenting experience. Being aware of these variables allows you to create more positive experiences in your home than negative. When this happens you have a Positive Sentiment Override. In this episode we will explore some of these negative X-factors, so that you won't have a Negative Sentiment Override over your home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In my work I talk a lot about how to prevent and dial down the drama. A crucial part of this is how to repair the relationship after the conflict or the big blow up. And the good news is that you can repair the relationship. The first step is to give a sincere apology. And this can be challenging for teens. Have you ever asked your teen for an apology and got, "SORRY" or "SORRY you think I’m an idiot." or "SORRY that you are so sensitive." This is an insincere apology and doesn't make you feel any better. In fact it can make you feel worse. In this episode I will talk about why there is so much resistance to saying "I'm sorry" and how to move past it. A sincere apology is important for two main reasons; to grow individually, and to repair the relationship. I will explore the different components of a strong apology. And then I will address the million-dollar question...How can you get a sincere apology from your teen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are going to talk about how to help your teen figure out what's next after High School. Are there any moms out there that have teens who have no idea what they want to do after High School? I'm sure a lot of you do. Have you noticed how much drama comes from questioning or talking with your teen about the future? I frequently see these big decisions, like, what am I going to do after high school, stirs up a lot of anxiety. Therefore this anxiety can make it hard to have a conversation with your teen about what's next and can lead to a lot of drama for both teens and parents. Today we are in for a treat. I am going to interview Emma Perez who is a coach and mentor and helps teens and young adults make decision for their lives after high school Emma is the Founder of Life Quest, that helps guides teens through self-discovery, career exploration, and vision creating. This leads young people to a future that allows them to live thriving and fulfilling lives. Emma is also the author of "What's the Point of School: Ed Transformation, A Matter of Life and Death. Freebie: http://www.emmabperez.com/journaling.html More about life quest http://www.emmabperez.com/life-quest.html To schedule a free consultation https://calendly.com/emmabperez My book http://www.emmabperez.com/whatsthepointofschool.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, in this podcast we are going to get real. Is it possible to be happy and be a mom of a preteen or teenager? And when I say happy, I mean are you truly happy? One definition of happy says, "feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation." Do you feel pleasure and enjoyment in your life? Do you feel pleasure and enjoyment from being a mom? Many moms don't, and it is a source of shame. This episode will look at six guaranteed ways to be an unhappy mom and how to turn that around to being the six keys to being a happy mom. I know that it is highly improbable that any mother of a teen will live in a constant state of happiness. That's not what this episode is about. This episode will give you practical suggestions on how to dial up your happiness in the teenage years. This not only benefits you but your whole family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's hard to say "no" to an angry, upset, or demanding teen. Moms often feel pushed in the corner and begrudgingly say "yes." But when we do that it's not in the best interest of your teen or you. How do you feel when you say "yes" to your teen when you really wanted to say "no." I know from personal experience and from listening to thousands of moms that it doesn't feel good. You second guess yourself. You stress and worry. You feel disempowered as a mom. And you feel your teen is not protected. In this episode we will explore 5 reasons moms say "yes" when they want to say "no." Sometimes the best answer is not "yes" or "no." There is a third option which I will teach you.. Finally, you will learn 5 tips to standing up to your teen, being clear so that your "yes" really is a "yes" and your "no" really is a "no." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Often moms are told to "not take things personally," which could be said by a well-meaning spouse. Sometimes those words are said to shut down the conversation that mom desperately needs to have. Well, that's not helpful. However in this episode we are going to explore "it’s not personal." My intention is not to minimize mom's experience, it is to help protect mom's heart and energy. "Taking things personally" can cause so much anxiety, hurt, anguish, sadness, suffering and just sucks the life out of you. We will explore what "taking it personally" really means. What are some of the things moms take personally? Why does taking things personally cause so much pain and suffering? Why taking things personally is not helpful to you and your teen? Then we will look at why "it's not personal" through the lens of neuroscience. Finally, and most importantly we will discuss how you can protect yourself and your heart from taking things personally. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever wake up and wonder, "How good can the teenage years get?" or do you think, "How am I going to survive the teenage years?" Many moms just wonder how they are going to survive the teenage years. And that's no surprise since this is one of the most challenging times to parent teens. The problem is, human beings have a propensity to remember only the negative. We can forget that we have good moments with our teens. The negative experiences can erase the positive experiences from our memories. The truth is that there are many gifts we can receive from our teens and the teenage years. Because of the unique challenges in this culture you will not naturally experience how good the teenage years can be. You have to be intentional and strategic and knowledgeable about the teenage brain. In this episode you will learn how to dial up the good experiences with your teen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your teen stress you out? If you have a normal teenager then the answer should be yes and the reason for that is where they are developmentally and I talk about the science behind that in the podcast. So yes your teen will stress you out. The better question is how often does your teen stress you out and to what degree? In other words whats the intensity of the stress you feel. In this episode I go into the major categories of what stresses parents out like monitoring, worrying about their safety and their future. There will be stress but you don't want the stress to dominate your life, your parenting, your teen and your home. Stress is not good for you or your relationship with your teen. Here’s the dilemma. It is stressful parenting a teen but your stress impairs your parenting. Your stress can stress your teenager out. Learn 4 ways to dial down your stress so that you can enjoy the teenage years. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are going to talk about the "4 Steps to Creating the Routine You Want". This is crucial to establish routines that work for you and your family this new school year. It's easy to think that you are starting your year off with a blank slate, but it is never a blank slate. Here’s why. The truth is that the same issues and struggles that drove your crazy last year are going to reappear this year. And why is that? Patterns repeat. Your son and daughter will do what they normally do and then you and your partner will typically react like you normally do. Over time these verbal and behavioral exchanges become predictable patterns of interactions. These interactions are often unconscious and on autopilot and can be triggered with an eye-roll, disrespectful comment, or the infamous slammed door. And then your last years amnesia has shattered and you remember the draining teenage drama from the past. You don’t want these unconscious patterns of interactions to become your “automatic routine” for your new year especially if they were fraught with drama. Many parents fall into routines or patterns that are not working for them or for their teens. You may be aware of some routines and not be conscious of others. Because the fall semester is busy, it’s easy to go on automatic pilot and just tolerate disrespectful behavior day after day. And this becomes routine. The good news is this year doesn’t have to be a repeat of last year. But things won’t automatically change you have to be intentional. Listen to find out the "4 Steps to Creating the Routine You Want". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The new school year is starting soon or may have already started. Before the year takes off at full time speed, I want to discuss why intentional downtime is a big deal. With our busy schedules downtime is not going to happen naturally, you have to be intentional. Downtime is a pressure-free zone. It's non-productive time. There is no competition or comparing yourself to others . There is no pressure to get anything done. There is no agenda. There is nothing hanging over your head. Downtime allows for your mind to wander instead of having focused attention. You get to relax and chill out. Downtime is restful. In this episode I discuss the 5 Benefits of Intentional Downtime. 1. Downtime allows you and your teen time and mental space to let go of stress caused by friends, grades, a busy schedule, and lots of demands. 2. Downtime naturally brings out our playful nature. 3. Downtime allows for creativity and innovation. 4. Downtime allows you to slow down. 5. Downtime allows your mind to rest, 6. Downtime is good for the teenage and adult brain. I spend the rest of the episode getting practical. What is a good use of downtime and what is not? How to insert downtime into your very busy schedule? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has your teen ever said anything like, "Mom you are the only one who won't let me . . ." or "Everyone else is doing it so why can't I . . .?" If they have, congratulations you have a normal teenager. Teens from all over the planet use tactics like these to try to manipulate you to get their way. In this episode will look at the many different tactics that teen use. These teenage tactics only work when we are not 100% clear if we are making the right decision. These tactics can open the door to a whole lot of drama. You can shut these tactics down when you are 100% clear. However, there are two big challenges to becoming clear. One, is the Moving Target Syndrome, and two, is Mother Fog. We will discuss how to take your clarity back. Also, in this episode we will discuss the downside of making decisions based on consensus and why your clarity is a personal decision. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we'll discuss why curiosity makes you a better human being and parent. You’ll learn how healthy curiosity dials down the drama, and improves your relationship with your teen. Healthy curiosity is the secret ingredient to a well-lived life. Curiosity makes us feel alive, leads to more happiness, boosts achievement and creativity, expands our empathy and strengthens our relationships. Walt Disney once said, “We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”. Instilling healthy curiosity to your teens is one of the best gifts you can give them. You'll learn how curiosity brings down the teenage wall of defensiveness and helps you have the hard conversations with your teen with minimal drama. This skill is foundational to parent effectively. There is also a dangerous side to curiosity, that our teens are especially vulnerable to. When you combine a strong drive of curiosity with the teenagers faulty brake system (of their undeveloped prefrontal cortex), it can lead to trouble. You'll learn what you can do to protect your teen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I hope that Mothers' Day was all that you hoped it would be. But if you ended up disappointed, you are definitely not the only one. Heres the problem with Mother's day. I think you come to that day with huge expectations that your kids and partner will somehow make up for everything that was not right in the past year. Realistically on Mother's Day you are still dealing with teen issues and are in the kitchen cooking a meal for your mom or your mother in law. Even on Mother's Day it's hard to have a whole day that you are actually off duty. That's why moms need more than a day! Often moms are influenced by implicit messages in the culture like, "it's selfish to pay attention to me." It feels like that this message is true, so many moms feel guilty if they spend time taking care of themselves. They wait for someone to give them permission to invest in themselves. This results with moms feeling "all mothered out" and resentful for not being appreciated enough. Actually, it's not selfish to pay attention to you; it's CRUCIAL. 1. it's crucial to pay attention to you . . .So you can honor and appreciate you for everything you do for your family. 2. It's crucial to pay attention to you . . . to reclaim your self awareness. This is the first step to know how you are doing, what you need, and what you want. If you don't know what you need, a good place to start is the 5 essential areas of feeling good. In order to feel your best, you’ve got to focus on five essential needs: foundational, maintenance, relational, self-enrichment, and spiritual. 3. It's crucial to pay attention to you . . . every day. See part of each day needs to be mothers day. What I mean by this is that YOU needs to get in your calendar. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whenever I speak to moms I tell them, "This is one of the most challenging times to raise a teen." A huge reason for this is navigating through the treacherous waters of cell phones, social media, and internet with teenagers. Most parents are blind sided with their teens about all thing digital because we didn’t go through this when we were teens. It feels like the iPhone has been around forever but actually it was released in 2007. So your mom didn’t have to deal with these cyber space issues when parenting you. Did you know that the average American touches their phone 2617 times a day? Did you know that According to Common Sense Media, teens spend an average of nine hours a day online? Studies have shown that the rise of anxiety and loneliness in teens is directly related to how much teens are online. 1 of 3 teenage girls will experience significant anxiety. In this podcast I talk about "The 4 big problems with phones, social media, internet and teens." 1. The addictive nature of all things online 2. Loneliness 3. Social comparison and why selfies are more like a question than a statement 4. Fomo (Fear of missing out) and how Snapmap is really EOMO (Evidence of missing out.) Most importantly we will end with what moms can do about this. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices