Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak

Aligned with a doctor, and finding that the truth is apparent. Son baggage and punishment for the fertile. Griffin Dunne? Frank conversations about identity with medical staff… this is a privilege. Pee before you leave, don’t squeeze the neck. What kind of flower? The mother’s have a knot in their stomach, and the not-mother’s have a knot in their stomach. No one is immune. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Gesture, Jester... we all know the mirror’s flipped, right? The drink of the summer is in Kate’s loser tradwife sippy cup. Jacqueline reflects on the response to ‘plant points’. Has Kate been under-SPF-ing? Huge week for porridge and meal prep. These doctors need to know who they’re dealing with! Restating the Poog Promise, Kate recounts a heartbreaking moment at the pizza bar to 'Jacly'. To have been friends in college... imagine letting other people talk. Two knuckles to the sternum, swinging at the vegan restaurant. Every time people think things don’t fit, Jacqueline finds a way. Two Ferrari brains with Chevy brakes. A stomach on the table and sun in the retinas. 4 minutes...my purse hurts! Mentioned: Superieur, Gerolsteiner Sparkling Water, Beauty of Joseon, Kosas, Supergoop, Dieux, Fatty15, Crossroads restaurant, Burger She Wrote, Planta, The Comeback, @Einsteins_NYC, Dr. Bulsiewicz (Plant Points), White Oleander (2002), What Lies Beneath (2000), Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky.Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whatever happened to Born This Way? Beyond notes, and placing the tiara on the coma patient. Orthopaedic shoes on each hand and a retainer stabilizing the ankle. Should you walk the room or stand dead center? A plan to heal Kate’s microbiome…add up the plant points and see who wins! You don’t have to hit someone just because Big Volkswagen told you to. Calling all patent experts and technical drawers, Jacqueline is inventing. Questions about the moon, sun and earth inspire diagrams. It’s all relative and it’s all moving. Is a dried flower rotting in water? Linguistic challenges and typing full sentences into Google. Kate’s colonicist shares book recommendations. Normal person, normal life... and then, something happened. Trapped in a tab somewhere. Paranormal for paranormal’s sake. Dreams of flying above the city and sipping hibiscus under a mosquito net. Why are the ants screaming for the hose? Mentioned: Flo Dose, NIRA Precision Laser, Dr. Will Bulsiewicz (@theguthealthmd), Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, and Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss. Begging For: PureLift Pro, an instant pot, a technical drawer/patent expert Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A strange state drives Kate to watch the birds and the bees. Rest your coffee inside the ring. Using the language of Others, passing the window and not looking in, and grazing the fly. Regret, reflection and a promise to stop disobeying. The issue with anecdotal and getting sloppy with the journal. Are these all projections? Slow Cooker, Instant Cooker, Pressure Cooker… and The Whole Kitchen by Jacqueline Novak. Do you know nothing of barley? Post the bowls. Be wicken. Brands: WHOOP, Pendulum, NIRA Anti-Aging Precision Laser, FlowdoseBegging For...WHOOP Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Reading The Sabbath and watching The Frisco Kid. Why scroll when you could build cathedrals in time? The orange tree gives two negronis and a troubling preference for bad movies is questioned. When blood becomes digital and gardens are raised. Why talk about the form at all? Sweating in the sheets…the WHOOP is consulted. There are robots that are friends, and then there are robots that are therapists. Thank God, Art. It was never about replication—it was always about being asked to stand in front of the color blue. Which containers are suitable for souls? Jacqueline as Politician and Kate as Public Relations. Creator, Realtor, Builder. On Poog, we’re always coming from a God-first place, and sometimes also scratching the neck while talking. To be introduced to jargon… No need to reply now. Brands mentioned: Marion Park, WHOOP, NIRA Anti-Aging Precision Laser, Eight Sleep, SharkNinjaBegging for: Misfits Market, simplehuman, PureLift Pro (please) Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The inevitability of developing cortisol face and the lawlessness of Zoom support groups. With talk of a rancher’s husband, Kate requires a Buddhism IV drip directly to the arm. With the instinct to avoid everything...a new whole-foods, plant-based lifestyle is embraced. If you’re dying, you’re alive. How to prepare hibiscus tea and acknowledge varying pronunciation. Jacqueline contemplates comedy on canvas and the impact of the Artist’s Posture. Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen is thoroughly reviewed. Having to both boil and cool the potatoes will drive Kate to shatter every glass in the house. When the student is ready, the teacher reappears. Poog is a rumor mill and this is not The Daily. Emergency egg bites and a seat next to a coughing stranger. Kate is confronted with a mysterious object in her hotel room…Jacqueline investigates. Brands: Our Place, Hurom Juicer, Rip Esselstyn's PLANTSTRONG Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The hags deliver you a morning Poog. Colonics are the primary concern. Jacqueline had one. Kate wants one. Can they get one together? Early surgery and the romance of dying on the table, any table. Being awake while under anesthesia. The importance of Astral Projection. Pre-biotics, pro-biotics, leaky gut and extinction events. Glyphosate and Round Up causing our cells to forget their identity. Lingering in the the hypnogogic phase for creative gains.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Beauty and wellness tips from two hogs. Sorry, which hole? Rest assured this is Vaudeville, there was no mirror. You wanna go to Kate’s Cafe? A 'W' so flowery it evokes music. Elizabeth & Sarah & Tracy & Me. The shoes are wet, but these feet don’t sweat. If there’s a Jacqueline link, the hags need to come through. She was pumped! Awe and concern at seeing both anus and V. There’s something kind of desert-pleasing about it. Eight. Plate. Settings. You think I'd have a Seder and not invite you? Wonder Oven Closure and Kate reacts to hearing 'Jack and Diane' for the first time. Brands: Tower, FaceGym, Breville Bambino, The Tracy Anderson Method, Capezio, SkinskoolBegging For: Pure Lift, Our Place Slow Cooker & Always Pan Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jacqueline enters in felted mules, stung. A doctor abused Kate by not taking her call. Extreme sport bandaids, flying hydrocolloidals. Acting is real and ADT is a scam. Major. Depressive. Disorder. A pharmacy run-in a la Magnolia while riding the generic wave, Jacqueline keeps going home med-less. Kate struggled with a VIP wristband and some of the most miserable men she's encountered. 'Darling' as a vessel for aggression. Radical acceptance, a joyless park ranger, and a crane. Biting into a hot strawberry? Three nights of Acquapazza. Welcome to Cook’s Corner. Brands discussed: Electrolytes: LMNT. SUPERIEUR. SIMPLISAFE. LILY's CHOCOLATE. MZ SKIN. Big gifts have landed: WONDER OVEN & HUROM JUICER Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finally, a pharmacy with a restaurant! What if Kate was a big-jugged nurse on the night shift, and Jacqueline always ordered directly from the Goop Kitchen app? Dr. Loretta on the doorstep, and it really is much easier to bring those boxes through to the back... What’s wrong with having a little fun with yourself? A tooth un-fills and the comfort of this friendship through it all. Jar, but with someone else. A gentle way to start the day may be returning. There will be enough life jackets on the Poog Cruise. The pot is hot—but the stone? It’s 500 degrees. Put her to work, boys! Jacqueline debuts a new voice and explains how to raise a lap cat and hard seer cabbage. Rep yourself before you die! Earnestly Begging for: Goop Kitchen vouchers, Pure Lift, Brands Mentioned: Dr. Loretta, Tower, Fenty, Charlotte Tilbury, Biologique Recherche Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The dream of a communist pharmacist and the control needed to not throw your phone against a wall. Often we must play the role. Driving while engaging the abs and the pride of seeing your daughter on screen. You wanna change your life? You’ll have to move every day, sweetie. Laughter that only the price of flowers can provoke & a mood so good you hold doors open too long. Whether stepping onto a stage or into an elevator, the nerves never go away. The relevancy of the headshot is questioned and a new torso is offered. This is literally the President of the United States of America. Where in film is the Aged Man? Rotten seed. Half plastic, half lead...the alien screaming within you. Mixing up algorithmic forces and fondly remembering the men who sold ice cream and smoothies. Hi babies! Staying up all night for your mental health. Hello???? Guys!? Respectfully Begging For: Whoop, Apparis, AwanBrands Mentioned: Rebel Ice Cream, Biodance Bio-Collagen Real Deep Mask Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: The hags are bubbling over with excitement. Jacqueline wants help with her navicular accessory foot injury, but they discuss: Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man and Cave of Forgotten Dreams, red light therapy, Bonus rooms, Buster Keaton, Tartuffe, and Best Week Ever.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pizza, cherry pie, and the urge to take off running once your table is ready. If Jacqueline enjoyed it yesterday, she wants it again today. Kate is trying as hard as she can. A spider’s glance. Superbills and psychic dreams…do you want to operate at ‘peak’, or do you want to just ‘get by’? Tuesday, overlooked. Jacqueline is leaning on the Lyma, and no outside sources were used whatsoever. The soft serve was disappointing and NYAD RULES. Lip gloss dazzles anew. The way tears change the face. What if this is the beginning of insanity? Brands mentioned: WHOOP, Pat McGrath, Dr. Loretta, FLOYD, Dr. Dennis Gross Genuinely Begging for: Goop Kitchen, Perfect Amino Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sorry, what’s your name? Grinning in a movie theatre bathroom stall, and weeping in the car watching NASA Live. Fascination at the ‘close friends’ of the ultra-famous. Is it Baudrillard or Baudelaire? Applauding celestial bodies and researching kettles. Toothless and tea-less, we need the real moon again. A scratched pan for which no one is to blame and suspicion over a missing spatula. Kate is neglecting the neck and chopping tiny. Texting the Healer’s wife, Jacqueline’s eyebrows are fully f*cking lifted. It’s called stepping into the reality of your life! Sincerely Begging For: Goop Kitchen, Graza Brands Mentioned: Lyma, Great Jones, Caraway Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Presented with a porous board and sepsis for everyone we've ever met. Suffer not one exception. What is it about 4:10pm on a Friday? A return to herbs and bank culture. The unitard is not sweaty, it’s completely soaked. The dream of Hag Serum and the chore of good TV. Planes are where you do what cannot be done on earth. Upsetting evidence against good habits when the walk doesn’t take. Jacqueline massages her face, Kate sees the sunset and draws the blinds. Getting Max-ed and manicured the Russian way. Confusion at kids buying PDFs. Philosophically good, aesthetically great. The God you don’t believe in... I don’t believe in that God either. It’s time to integrate the shadow. That’s exactly the vibe! Earnestly Begging For: Hurom, Almond CowBrands Mentioned: Purity Vodka, Catbird, KitchenAid, Caraway, Erewhon Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A low dose of adderall and the unexamined life… I’m listening! Kate is asked to explain what POOG is, while Jacqueline’s zealousness is often mistaken for sarcasm. The cord is not the problem, but the annuals aren’t what they used to be. No flashlight in the eye, nor in the ear. Who’d want a girl like that to get sick? Water for wellness and the perfect protein. The presence of Eggo Waffles and Raisin Bran, when the family doesn’t integrate the gifted lifestyle change. Jacqueline dreams of a room for celery and Kate never forgets God. Revelling in the honeymoon phase of new products, and contemplating the tenability of daily juicing. It’s always a woman. Brands mentioned: Perfect Amino, Magic Mind, HigherDOSE, Charlotte Tilbury, Caraway, Pendulum Begging for: NIRA Pro Anti-Aging Laser, Hurom, OneSkin, Aesop Sublime Replenishing Night Masque & Blue Chamomile Facial Hydrating Masque, and a reup of Dr. Diamond and LYMA serum and creamSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Attacking the face with hydrafacials and the velvety sleep that can only come from action thrillers. Jacqueline naps like a soldier and Kate waits for two açai bowls that never come. The wide flavor of banana is recalled, while a gentle beat causes confusion. Sitting side-by-side at Jar... something is different about the lychee-tini. How did the nose not hit the door? Practicing astral projection and preparing for a work meeting while on a work call. When’s the last time you had cherry garcia? ‘We have to leave in 30 minutes’ = ‘We don’t have to leave now’. No one has to be worried for Kate Berlant. Meat Festival is on the third Saturday of every month. Brands mentioned: HigherDose, Charlotte Tilbury, OGEE, Lyma, Siete, Soom, Magic Mind Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lying in repose and sailing through the air. Preparing for the bleed and the implications of resetting a room. Are oysters just vessels for vinegar? Woman's Stomach Swells, Chris is sent out for Diet Coke. Pump it out, or get it out! The JAR menu is studied ahead of a monumental dinner. All according to plan... Kate is an Academy Awards Attendee and Jacqueline is calling Banana Republic. Lifting weights while watching the Bachelor, and dreams that held paradigms that could not follow through to conscious life. Shoes for who you are, shoes for who you want to be... I can’t live like this! The POOG water bottle is large and of high quality—don’t doubt our merch. Brands mentioned: Magic Mind, Fatty15. Hatch, Lyma, Banana Republic & Marion Parke Edited by Adam Wand; Produced by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Strutting down Sunset Boulevard drinking the juice of another store. A cradle on wheels and baskets that don't fit cause confusion. Refusing the culture of weekend vs weekday and watching The Bachelor as sport. Skinny Nation rise up? Oprah will not be ridiculed for loving Ozempic. Tales of Wellbutrin Girl and the CVS coupon system. He’s not acting, but what a performance! Dreams of lychee martinis and whether or not to acknowledge spit on the cornea. Kate’s reason for a lifetime of no up-dos silences Jacqueline. Bifurcate and see inside. Brands mentioned: Vegamour, Chanel, Erewhon, Dr. Diamond, Lyma, OneSkin and Soom Tahini Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All dogs are puppies and all cats are kittens. You have to sit with dignity to meditate. The question of the retinol bump and when to judge the day. Who cares if years lie fallow? Kate calls a club a spade, and Jacqueline offers the idiot take of an outsider. Could they put on a magic show to save their lives? Maybe it’s time for Movie POOG… That’s Greg, for ya! Brands mentioned: Dieux Skin, Lyma, Celsius, The Ludlow Hotel, Pat McGrath, Armani Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One week you’re gorgeous…the next week? You’re hideous. Waking up to pee and Shark Tank raw to the dome. ADD 2.0 was heard in full on the road. Blinds shut, curtains closed, not even looking at the view. Jacqueline believed the hours — of course she did! Kate had a day of huge euphoria and has never been more dehydrated. $83 dresses and the detail of 6:30 at night are discussed. Theatre doesn’t pay, and Jacqueline shows off a bruise from escaping an escalator. The beautiful sign of death and dumping it all out onto the floor. A strange moment when Kate drives by Jacqueline’s house…but doesn’t go in. What have we lost to goofy graphics? Top to bottom, Kate had taken the note. Discussed: Saie Beauty, Burrow, Hatch, PAIGE Denim and Free People Movement.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The body just wants yesterday, again. A stranger's office. Kate became the awareness. Jacqueline remembers the crystal shops. To ask, will that ever be me again? Holding the jade egg. Sensing what aisle to turn down. Imagine knowing dawn & yearning for a pendant. You know what it's not? A fucking migraine. The new guy is not the son. Are we fighting wildly, violently, and against our own best interest? Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hypersomnia, sleep studies. Vitamin Water. Felicity. Giving birth on your back and dying on your back. Squatty Potty, snail venom.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The hags discuss flossing, taxes, and the confusion of natural deodorant.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look, folks. Kate’s in the midst of the final week of her sold out KATE run at the Pasadena Playhouse. Jacqueline’s doing rabid press for the Get on Your Knees premiere. So a remix is on offer. The theme is the road to GOYK, featuring Poog clips from the show’s touring days, the countdown to the taping aka the “wedding” and Jacqueline and Kate's reflections from the stage. Get pumped and then go watch Get on Your Knees on @netflixisajoke. Can Hag nation send the special to number 1? Edited by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is the first thought best? Escrow and group munchausen by proxy. It’s radical, punk and brave to go anywhere alone. Somatic anger at the baby. Maps of restaurants and performing noticing. Kate is not Mariah Carey. Jacqueline is not interested in learning what a pilot light is. The apple doesn’t fall far, does it? Never be afraid to approach. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I could go all night with you two. Six Feet Under. To see a twin without their twin… the vanity suddenly looked beautiful. Good girl syndrome and defending The Ritz like she built it. Don’t blow my brother! National Chair Day? Priceless.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A case of diagonal interlopers. Ma’am, when you’re done on your phone, I’d like to get my coffee. Do not underestimate the stress of anything. AstraZeneca? Again, Kate was happy to pay… and a little tipsy off two margs. Jacqueline got a separate check and the pork belly skewers were not a main. First in line? We cannot accommodate you. Her bullshit is a dream. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Moments from The Road to Christmas' stops in Philly and Vancouver: Is there a woman in the room? Woah, woah, WOAH! The Blair Witch Project and other found footage. First guest and first sneeze. Pilots are poets. One has to suffer. Put on lipstick during turbulence. Kate insists it was turndown. The choreography of survival. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: The hags reflect on singing—its dangers, its thrills. The uncanny valley. Kate fears mold. Jacqueline soothes her, while struggling with restless legs. The act of playing games is touched upon. Interstellar must be watched—they set up next week's episode as being Poogsteller. Sleeping positions are discussed. Jacqueline seeks Boston recommendations. The horror of a houseguest is explored, specifically sharing a bed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: Yesterday Kate soared on Matcha while Jacqueline threw her book. When will she learn things are real? A stool test is on the horizon. Tropes we cannot escape. Is matcha the answer again? We find out that “Jackie” takes the cup home. It was glucose the whole time. Kate wants a juicer. Jacqueline has a theory about Jewel and Little Women. Widowers and cryo-bins. Never speak to a woman about her art. Unsolved Mysteries.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: It’s been a long time coming and now…it’s the Interstellar episode. Watch before listening, please. Fathers and the apples of their eyes. Matthew McConaughey. Auditioning like a star. Hiatuses. The lonely masculine space experience. Jacqueline’s Dad makes an appearance. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Merch is live and the hags are on tour with the Road to Christmas. PoogLive.com for tix and gifts! Here’s a holiday medley of charming Christmas chatter from previous years. Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag. To be alone in New York for the holidays. Door prizes. Aesthetic sensibility. Regression. A party helper. Santa Mickey and narrative continuity. Practice receiving a gift. Gingerbread men and women. A bedazzled whistle left by an elf.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Soaring Poog! Solid seamless is luxury. Honoring your interests above my own neurodivergence. The spoons were dropped. Those with reverence and glory for flavors. A Hillstone Memory. There’s been an overall lack of voucher gifting. Under the guillotine toward the manicure table. Getting into clocks. We’re firmly in the holiday system. Release the neck. The search for the best silicone shampoo sudsing scrubber. Let’s do a scrub off. Begging for the Ceremonia scrubber, Our Place Wonder Oven (again) Hobonichi Techo 2024, Dr Diamond’s Metacine, FaceGym Purelift. Praise for Caraway, SkinSequence, Fend, FiveWits, Briogeo Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Poog goes on tour next week! The Road to Christmas in Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, San Fran, LA, Philly, DC, NYC. You’ll want to bring a Santa’s sack to haul home your merch. It’s a girl’s trip of course. Hoping for jingle bells on the street. Trees in the lobby. The hotel gyms will be utilized. And still it’s okay to dread the tour. Angel Milk. A screenshot inventory. Kate gave away a key probiotic. A serious new skincare offering pushing the boundaries. Begging for: Angela Caglia, Mate the LabelDiscussed: Flowerhead Tea, Almond Cow, Thymes, Wear Ones At, Belle de Nuit, The Giving Moment, OneSkin, May Lindstrom, Violet Grey and the Tangle Teezer, Pendulum, Breville, Lyma… Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Merch is currently in production and tour approaches. Password recovery as elder abuse. To die by the hand of your child. When they went after Sagan. ADHD and unfinished threads. A thirty year old who just doesn’t have it. Jacqueline peels the sticker off the Lyma on air with Kate’s encouragement. “Strangely satisfying” can go. An event mere hours after a hydra facial? Begging for foundation from Lady Gaga. The home soaked reusable cotton rounds have proven their worth. Brands mentioned: Celsius, Lyma, Beauty Shamans, Viome, Haus Labs, Soko Glam, HopTonic, HOP WTR, May Lindstrom, Aesop, OUAI, Soft Services, Ranavat, HigherDose, Avocado, Nectar, Casper, ThermaDerm, TempurPedic, Hastens, SleepNumber, Thuma, Cozy Earth, Leesa, Aromatech Edited & mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What it means to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Jacqueline has profoundly lowered her caffeine intake and is taking it 2 days at a time. Is water BAD FOR YOU? Caulk and grout, never the two shall meet. Safety on the couch. Screaming to the Gods at the intensity of daily life. Belay on, on belay. A hat was lost to a river once. How many flames? Punching a shark in the nose. Sugar is sugar. Starting to get serious about vinegar before meals. Reservations might be a modern myth. Hiring an engineering executive to mount the tv. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jacqueline and Kate daydream about the upcoming Poog Tour (pooglive.com). ADHD 2.0. Wearing a sports bra as a top. We are born to mimic. The Liberace rule threatens the hags. Kate enjoys a romantic decaf cappuccino on the couch. Milk technology in the Bambino versus the Plus. Jacqueline has Kate's charger. The viral TikTok bark. JN’s sexual holiday cards gambit. An ADD approach, "Say it until you’ve done it." Brands mentioned: Lyma, Aromatech, Rainbo, Camino, Wooden Spoons, LifeBoost, Elmhurst, Breville, Our Place, Ranch Rider Spirits, High Noon, Bai, Swoon, Celsius, Seed, SuperGut, iota Body, Belle de Nuit, Live the Process Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With tickets on sale at pooglive.com, brands scramble to outfit the hags for their tour. An all-orange halloween party. Discount animatronics in fresh costumes. Not another recipe about how spaghetti squash is pasta. Popsicle stick snowflakes, frozen vodka in a milk carton, paper bags luminescent lanterns. This is a house of artists: nothing is gated. Reusable bamboo rounds in a jar of essence. Googling with a hand behind the back. A tag is a flag. A text from Jar. Mentioned: body serum and lotion from iota Body, the runsie from Free People, the underwear from ODDOBODY Mate the Label, LYMA Skincare, Pat McGrath, Retrouvé Luxury Skincare, Jolie Skin Co, LMNT, Aromatech, Tom Bihn and Away Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Road to Christmas tour is here! Tickets go on sale tomorrow October 25th @ pooglive.com — use early access code ‘HAG’ to get your tickets before the general public. It’s Meal Prep Fall and Jacqueline’s praying to the bowl. Mother hands and product packaging for a ‘90s Beverly Hills’ billionaire widow. Jacqueline toweled off and did a little spritz, and the Gods of the Cars are very ready to strike you the fuck down. People subscribe because they want to believe they’re going to live. A crucifix made of broccoli and two iced pistachio matcha lattes. Non-organic veg? Prob ok. Non-organic dairy? Not ideal. Lunch in Seattle and a Heated Room On 3rd. Just a Small Town Girl, Living in a Lonely World... A bee lands on the fork. Do you suffer in silence? Mentioned: Supergut, ARMRA, Jolie, Kroger, Factor, HelloFresh, Porter, LIMA Begged for: Soft Services, Bandier, and Caraway Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Deck the halls, Halloween will come and go. A chill descends and the Hags are begging for kitchen products. Will pay through the nose to avoid PFAs without ability to articulate the acronym. Gifts sent hagward best be bigger than a breadbox. A bad piña colada and your life’s over. Poog Tiktok has technically launched. Mentioned: Breville, Supergut, Goop, Dieux, Lyma, OneSkin, Ziip, Dr Dennis Gross. Begged for: Our Place ovens, PureLift devices and an old fashioned Equinox membership. Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kate is back in the States and her California pride is in full swing. Jacqueline walked into a tree. The hazards of hats. Folding chairs outside the ER. No heavy thinking and no screens. Why must it be a “beautiful salad”? Red wine vinegar from drinkable leftover wine. Kate wants a lawyer friend. In sacrifice, a skinny calf won’t do. Kate’s excited to pull her own espresso shots. A high quality grinder. Hag Nation, let’s put our feet up a wall and see what happens. Gnocchi, unimaginable. Products Mentioned: MoonJuice, Cookbook Specialty Store, Camino Red WIne Vinegar, Burrow, Breville, Flowerhead Tea, Joe and the Juice, Hero Bread,Formally and sternly begging for: LMNT, ODDOBODY, Ziip Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: Kate is born anew after being off Social Media and has an office now. Jacqueline proposes a technique for social media moderation. Benefits of negative self-talk are discussed. Pop psychology. Jacqueline shows off her writing devices, the Freewrite and her new tented ergonomic keyboard, the Moonlander. Language continues to decay. White knuckling serves no one. The things we do not know we know. The words Gorgeous and Terrain. Arf Redman and (Rigatoni) Loof are revisited. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A compilation episode of the Hags talking restaurants. Cherries rolling on the hardwood, Alice Waters, Restorative Broth, Microgreens in a menu item, and dining alone. The anchor of the torq causing the spill. Black cloth napkins. Abandoning a brunch. Share plates. Table for four at Festoon? Going in together, raw. A bottle for the kitchen.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week's episode is a cross episode compilation of Kate's Jamaica Incident with the Boys in Philly. We're the best law firm in the world. 7 beers for the band. Sometimes you have to be the entire reason someone goes on the vacation. Whoa, guys? That's my suitcase! Diving straight into the lagoon. You don't pay for the room, you pay for the lock. Recourse. Not some kind of error of mere negligence occurred. They're lucky violence didn't occur. Wasn't a glitch. Rate? Reduction? The micro influencer has value. I'm going crazy on the cast. Where is the cold-hearted bitch now? From the Law Offices of Jacqueline Novak. The phone call is in the wind. Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

London, do you have your tickets for KATE? Poog is on tiktok now (@thisispoog). One slutty pair of heels, one sensible pair of heels and the erotics of the full bottle on the trip. Half a klonopin, straight to heaven. The housing is the theater. What is a calendar but a broken promise? Tracing the thoughts. It’s the same year, every year. The candle and the opportunity to be that candle. Is @chanel gonna be the first legacy prestige makeup brand to send product to poog? Mentioned: Chanel water fresh blush, Chanel Le Rouge Duo Ultra Tenue, FlowerHead Matcha, Agent Nateur, Kaizen, OneSkin, Visp, Halo Top, & Other Stories, Ratio Bars Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Spiritual advice from the business section. Bring your hate and depression to the altar. Packing light: one pair of jeans, one pair of evening pants. Recent house guests may have had some sticky fingers. No more blowing raspberries and bringing back the cackle. Products mentioned: Tower28, Ilia, Rose Inc, Armani, Caudalie, Oribe, Benefit, Porter, Tata Harper, Ratio Bars, SuperGoop, Goop. Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a comedy podcast run by a couple of bitches. A mandatory hour a day at the library or you become branded. Kate tried to return air, two open hands, and a frown. Jacqueline reads to Kate but the words aren’t taking. A specific Armani lipstick. 10/10 customer service that led Kate astray. Books mentioned: Marion Woodman’s The Pregnant Virgin and Hartman’s ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer’s World. GOOP Peptide Serum, OneSkin, Dieux Skin. Few have the courage to go cold turkey on music. The obliteration of the sacred in the face of constant optimization. Nude in butterfly pose, scrolling. Begging for: Thermage vouchers and a piano. Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jacqueline studied while Kate moved on. Mood is in disrepair and products were purchased out of pocket. Brows. Dessert and Aperol addiction. London Bridge is Falling Down. Kate finally watched The Deepest Breath. Calling all London Hags, Kate will be in town doing her show. Jacqueline was confronted with bovine ideas at home and advised on a smoothie. The linking of guilt and pleasure. Candy Bomb and bad coffee. Photos attached to reviews. Makeup and memories from far away. Two incarnations, sequentially. The craving to do the forbidden. The piano and the voice. George's Girls. Products mentioned: Glossier, Celsius, Mark Hyman Vital Proteins Pro, ARMRA, Timeline Nutrition, FlowKey, Canopy, Dr Dennis Gross, PureMist, Dr Loretta, DieuxFormally and sternly begging for: Swoon, Breville Bambino, Goop x Lyma Serums Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jacqueline's alone and waits for dawn. Kate enacts her cruel curation. A leaf blower to the cobwebs. Getting locked out again. Neighbor chickens and babies. Lectin or Lecithin. Hydration or Moisturization. A run-in with a "fellow" “influencer”. A mother's opinion on brows. Products mentioned: Skinceuticals C Ferulic Acid, Josh Rosebrook. This week begging for: The new Ziip device and more Dieux Skincare. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.