Pirate Monk Podcast

"It is so much better to have sex with your wife for who she is -- having sex because you love her, not having sex because you love sex." Nate and Aaron interview friend and returning guest, Noah Filipiak, about the release of his new book - Beyond the Battle: A man’s guide to his identity in Christ in an over-sexualized world. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

In this special episode, Nate and Aaron remember Father Thomas McKenzie, an early member of the Samson Society in the Nashville area, who was killed along with his older daughter in a car accident a few days ago (Aug 23, 2021). They share some of their memories of Thomas, and then we hear from Fr. McKenzie himself in two homilies - first, his final message from this past Sunday, and then a 2014 message on grieving.

"He was never put on this earth to heal me -- the only one who was put on this earth to heal me is Jesus." Nate speaks with Lyschel Burket of hoperedefined.org., a ministry supporting women impacted by sexual betrayal through coaching, groups, intensive retreats and safe online community. Her contact email is [email protected]. Then, a group of ladies from the Sarah Society join Nate to discuss what they gleaned from the interview. We hear from Erin, Heather, Brandy, Linda and Julie. For more information about the Sarah Society, please visit sarahsociety.com. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Aaron is back - and this time, he's pissed! OK, not really, but it's great to have the compadres back together again for a discussion of the journey into manhood. Nate interviews Aaron's buddy, Jim Ramos, author of Strong Men, Dangerous Times and host of the Men in the Arena podcast (meninthearena.org). They break down the Five Essentials Every Man Must Possess to Change His World. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Mini-meeting on the topic of "Surrender". Nate interviews Jasper Hall, president of Pure Hope about equipping believers to serve out of their brokenness in a sexually broken world and leading their families and communities to flourish. You can find more information at purehope.net. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Mini-meeting on the topic of "Habits". Nate interviews psychologist and therapist Bill and Kristi Gaultiere about the six phases of spiritual growth and development. You can find more information at soulshepherding.org and journeyofthesoul.org. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Aaron has a fascinating conversation with John Alarid (johnalarid.com), a heroin addict who became a missionary, then imprisoned for attempted murder, and now a pastor ministering in Springfield MO at Freedom City Church (freedomcitychurch.org). To hear more of John's story, you can get his ebook (currently free) at myprisonbecameapalace.com. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

"Dignity believes, and respect believes, and unconditional positive regard believes that being fully human is a beautiful thing, and that the essence of a person agrees with all of the things that God says about them that's true." The Mini-Meeting returns on the topic of Abandonment. Then Aaron interviews Teresa McBean, who pastors Northstar Community, which blends recovery and faith in Richmond VA. Northstar was founded in 1999 to provide faith-based recovery and now offers adult education classes, support groups, individual and group counseling experiences, Enneagram training and coaching, and individual and group coaching to family members who have loved ones in recovery. northstarcommunity.com The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

"I honestly cannot tell you which decade was worse...Brokenness doesn't just end the second [the abuse] stops...The ramifications of that act ripple into decades later." Nate sits down to speak with Tim Rountree - a child abuse detective, a pastor, and a victim himself of childhood sexual abuse. He explores how hope emerges even in the wake of unspeakable evil. (outcryconcepts.com) Resources for online safety: bark.us covenanteyes.com x3watch.com leadmenot.org The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate interviews Gary Wilkerson of World Challenge (an outgrowth of Teen Challenge), a ministry dedicated to helping the needy of the world in many different ways, including those caught in addiction and poverty. Topics include the pitfalls of performance-based religion, family history, parenting, and the importance of community. https://worldchallenge.org/ https://teenchallengeusa.org/ https://www.globaltc.org/ The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

To celebrate 300 episodes, we get to know Nate and Aaron a little bit better. The host for this special episode is our good friend, Tom Ryan (known to some of you as T. C. Ryan) author of Ashamed No More: A Pastor's Journey Through Sex Addiction. Tom has just released two free recovery resource packages on his website: livingintegrated.org. Both packages have pdf content and homework with a companion video. The first package, "Four Tasks for Getting Your Life Back", is for folks who are beginning to realize they may have a problem with sex or porn and don't know what to do. Six pdfs and companion videos. The second package, "Fifteen Practices For Living The Life You Want", is for those who need to do something more to really get going in recovery. It's also a good re-starter if we've plateaued in recovery. Seventeen pdfs and companion videos. Additionally, Tom is working with the leadership of "Boulder Recovery" which we covered in-depth in episode 299. More information can be found at boulderrecovery.com. Just for Travis, here are the links to Aaron's books and music: https://www.pastemagazine.com/noisetrade/books/porter https://soundcloud.com/aaron-porter-778791650 The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

"I don't think that God's goal in the universe is to lessen the amount of sin. I think His primary goal is to increase the amount of connection between Him and His people." Today's guest is therapist Matt Wenger, who works with guys dealing with porn and sex addiction. In the course of that work, he recognized that Christian men have unique challenges in their journey to healing from this addiction. The result of that was the development of Boulder Recovery, which offers a new 14-Day Men's Intensive for Christian guys struggling with porn and sex addiction. Dr. Michael Barta's Trauma-Induced Sex Addiction (TINSA) Model of therapy is integrated with healthy spiritual teaching and practices to promote genuine healing from the attachment wounds and intimacy disorders that drive sexual addiction. The first intensive will be June 19-July 3, 2021. Information can be found at boulderrecovery.com. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate gives Aaron a PSA about severe weather before they are joined by Nate's long-time friend, Steve Zehr, who shares how he was shaped by his 35-year marriage to Susan, who struggled with mental illness. Steve's book is titled In Sickness and in Health and he can be reached at [email protected]. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate has an inspiring conversation with his brother, Dan. After a series of strokes, Dan was left unable to speak and was told by doctors that he would never speak again. But Dan didn't accept that prognosis. Through hard work and sheer determination, he discovered his own path for healing, proving the incredible resilience of the human brain. The parallels with the recovery journey are evident. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

First, a discussion of Nate's blog about Ravi Zacharias (https://natelarkin.net/ravi-and-me/) and some feedback he has received. Then, an interview with Bonny Burns - podcaster, coach and member of the leadership team for the Sarah Society - the sister organization which has grown out of a group of women impacted by the choices of Samson Society guys. Topics include healthy sexual intimacy, Bonny's experience as a betrayed spouse going through D-Day, the continuing quest toward community and intimacy, building trust and empathy. "Sex is neither the cause of this addiction or the cure." "Sexual intimacy is for me too and I have just as much voice in the bedroom as he does." "Boundaries are to keep me safe, not to punish him." To connect with Bonny: [email protected] www.strongwives.com (coaching support/resources) www.forchristianwives.com (Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast) www.oysterbed7.com (blog) The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

How do we deal with the inevitable pain that comes into our life? Nate gives an update on recent struggles with Allie's health before having a discussion with Seth Haines, who shares his own season of severe anxiety related to the health of his infant son, the even deeper pain of a seemingly absent God, and his subsequent slide into alcoholism in an attempt to numb the pain. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

The guys respond to a couple of notes from the mailbag before having a great discussion with Morgan Snyder (becomegoodsoil.com) about discovering the heart of Father as we discover our true sonship. Can we answer the questions - Where do I feel uncomfortable in the realm of masculinity? How do I recover ALL of what God wants for me? The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

This is a refreshing discussion with theologian, author and professor Brad Jersak that spans a myriad of subjects - from interactions with people of diverse viewpoints, love addiction vs. sex addiction, the purpose of confession and repentance, and what "the God of our understanding" and "progress not perfection" really mean. www.bradjersak.com Featured song: "If Old is Grey" by Chad Land; used by permission (https://soundcloud.com/chad-land) Other music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Have you ever made a promise to yourself to create a new habit but gave it up after only a few weeks? How are those new year's resolutions holding up after a month? Drew Dyck noticed this pattern in his own life and decided to do some study into both the scientific and biblical principles related to self-control. Nate and Aaron have a great discussion with Drew about partnering with God and your community even in the small areas of our life. You can find even more details in his book, Your Future Self Will Thank You. (drewdyck.com) Also, Nate opens the mailbag and shares a few recent notes. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

In part two of our series on domestic abuse, we talk with "Becky", an abuse survivor. Her story is one of pain, fear and redemption, but does point out how the Christian community can sometimes fall into the trap of excusing abusive behavior in the name of avoiding divorce. Can every marriage be saved? Should every marriage be saved? Abuse should never be tolerated in the name of statistics. The guys tackle this tough subject in light of the gospel in compassion, grace and love. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Before you immediately dismiss your need to listen to this episode, we'd challenge you to have an open mind. When we hear the words "domestic abuse", we often think of videos of athletes in elevators, but can we recognize more subtle forms of abuse? Use of Power to Control others through Fear or Intimidation is Abusive even if there are never any bruises or broken bones. Join us as we begin a two-part series on this important topic. We talk today with Chris Moles (chrismoles.org), a pastor and Biblical counselor who helps churches and families confront the evil of domestic violence. If this discussion sparked any questions in you, check out Chris's article - Am I Abusive? We also get to hear a couple of songs from Aaron's new album, The End of the Fall. You can listen and download the entire album at https://soundcloud.com/aaron-porter-778791650/sets/the-end-of-the-fall. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate and Aaron speak with Randy Turner, author of Rescuing the Rogue, about mentoring, learning intimacy the hard way, what intimacy truly is and how to root out the false beliefs we have about intimacy. If you'd like to explore this topic further, you can reach Randy at [email protected]. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate interviews Noah Filipiak, author of Beyond the Battle. Noah is a pastor who talks openly about his struggle with porn, the journey from entitlement to contentment through recognizing the true needs beneath the behavior, and the real definition of love. Noah also facilitates Beyond the Battle online 7-week zoom groups which focus on your identity in Christ in an oversexualized world. For more information, visit beyondthebattle.net or noahfilipiak.com. Nate and Aaron also discuss the importance of Gratitude for our overall physical and mental health. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Clinton and Charity Munoz of the Restored 2 More podcast share their winding path of addiction, discovery, missteps in finding help, and finally to the true redemptive help that they needed. They are now helping couples move from infidelity to intimacy. Learn more at restored2more.com. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and also features the new song When You're Lying by Kristin Larkin. You can find her music at kristinlarkin.bandcamp.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

In this follow-up to episode 280, Nate and Aaron talk with Brian Tholstrup, a fellow pirate monk whose primary drug of choice was alcohol. The guys discuss how recovery is not "one-size-fits-all" and how each of us has to assess what is helpful in our own journey while avoiding the lure of the "easier, softer way". Nate and Aaron also discuss how easy it is to get distracted by seemingly harmless pursuits, such as gaming. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Today Nate interviews Chad and Angela Anderson as they share the story of Chad's pornography addiction, D-Day and their continuing redemption. Chad is now a certified recovery coach sharing what he has learned with other men. Chad's contact info is: 727integratedlife.com; phone 615-405-6152; email [email protected] Angela can be reached at [email protected] The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Our guest today is Jack Eason, author of The Loneliness Connection, which explores the power of community and togetherness, finding similarities instead of differences in the midst of a divisive world. Find out more about Jack and his work at https://www.jackeason.org/ Music on the podcast Little Jam by Stefan Kartenberg (c) copyright 2020 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/JeffSpeed68/61299 Ft: Javolenus Chronically Deranged (Autopsy Mix) by Whitewolf (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial Share-Alike (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/Whitewolf225/60658 Ft: bangcorrupt The Vendetta by Stefan Kartenberg (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/JeffSpeed68/58628 Ft: Apoxode

Tullian shares his history as both the prodigal and the older brother, and now as someone who simply recognizes his desperate need for Jesus! To learn more about Tullian's work, please visit: www.tullian.net Music on this podcast: That Kind of Love, PFR Sirens, ATTALUS 78 Eatonwood Green, Rich Mullins

Today the guys talk with certified mentors Jay and Lori Pyatt who get raw and vulnerable in sharing their redemptive story about God pulling them back from the brink of divorce, the impact of shame and deflection in marital communication, their ongoing recovery walk, and how their journey led them to helping others avoid the pitfalls along these rocky paths. Resources mentioned on the podcast: Bonds that Make Us Free, C. Terry Warner To learn more about Jay and Lori's work, please visit: https://thecouplecure.com/ Music on this podcast: Scars, I Am They Sirens, The Gray Havens Burden, Foy Vance

Nate and Aaron again welcome one of our favorite guests, trauma specialist Kaka Ray, to discuss COVID fatigue, monopolizing conversations, and balance in recovery. Kaka will also be returning as a workshop speaker at the upcoming Fall retreat - both the in-person and the virtual versions. To learn more about her work, visit: http://www.kakaray.com/

Nate and Aaron sit down to chat about a book that sent Nate on some interesting journeys and ongoing self-discovery, Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking Alcohol. You might not get any answers, but we sure hope today's episode raises a couple of questions.

Today, Nate and Aaron talk with Carolyn Weyel about introversion. What does it mean? How does shame get attached to it? And how do those pesky extroverts make everything worse!!! Whether you are an introvert or just happen to be living on the planet earth, there is something in this conversation for you.

Sit back and get ready for a conversation with Michael Brody-Waite, author of Great Leaders Live Like Drug Addicts, as he unpacks some of the most important information you might hear about masks during these strange times. No...not those masks. To learn more about Michael and stay posted on what he's up to, log on to: https://michaelbrodywaite.com/

Get ready for a gospelicious conversation with John Lynch. To hear more of John, head on over to his website and get encouraged. https://www.johnlynchspeaks.com/

Nate and Aaron enjoy a great conversation with Michele and Tom Weaver as they explore their experience with "friends" who weren't helpful, betrayal, and hope. Don't miss this inspiring journey of hope and healing and coming to the table.

Ever wondered what creole cooking, Presbyterians, and Elvis have in common? Find out today as Nate and Aaron chat with Pastor Ray Cannata of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New Orleans.

Today Nate sits down with Dr. Curt Thompson, author of books such as The Anatomy of the Soul, and The Soul of Shame, and talks about the profound connection between our spiritual formation and amazing neurological creation. It's all tied together and the answer to every question you've ever had, including this week's winning lottery numbers, will be revealed on today's episode of, the Pirate Monk Podcast. To check out what Curt is up to or to learn more about his practice, head on over to... https://curtthompsonmd.com/

Today Nate and Aaron sit down and chat with author, musician, theologian, Michael Card as he discusses his new book, Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mystery of God's Lovingkindness. Nate and Aaron also discuss how you can serve other men as a temporary Silas as they plug into the online Samson community. To get more information on that process, head over to... https://samsonsociety.com/what-is-a-silas/ and click "Register as an available temporary Silas."

Get out your pen and paper, Aaron is chatting with a couple of Samson OGs who are deep in the world of music and are passionate about art and how it feeds the soul. You'll get their recommendations on listening choices and taking some purposeful time to let your heart be filled through the miracle of music. All that and more on today's episode of the Pirate Monk Podcast.

It's deep, it's heavy, it's important. Today the boys chat with Karen Ellison about the heart wounds that occur after an abortion for both women and men. Karen works with the ministry Deeper Still and provides resources and free retreats to help people with tools to find healing for a pain that is often forced underground by our Christian culture. To check out more information on Deeper Still, go to: www.godeeperstill.org

Feeling fear during this strange time? Checking the news for reassurance and only experiencing further fear? Today Nate and Arron sit down with Christine Dente to try to unpack some solutions to engage information with better choices and more wisdom. Check out Christine's website Finding Life in the Bigger Story at https://christinedenteoutofthegrey.com Some of the proposed ideas to consider were: 1. Consider the message: does the headline incite fear? Does the information smell like clickbait? 2. Consider the purpose: Is it grim entertainment? Grisly voyeurism? Why is it written and why do you want to read it? 3. Consider your filters: are you willing to open your mind, humble yourself, ditch confirmation bias and deal with the cognitive dissonance? 4. Consider your interests: choose a specialty then dive deep. Can you become an expert on one issue? Can you become such an expert without judging others for not having the same interests? 5. Consider the dosage: How many hours are you spending imbibing information and attitudes that can saturate the soul. Is meditating on these ideas helpful or beneficial to your soul? Do they increase your love and compassion, or do they make you afraid and angry? 6. Consider the agenda: Follow the money. What is the underlying ideology? Is it hidden or obvious? Is the bias showing? 7. Consider the alternatives: Podcasts and other long-form, unedited conversations offer a format for engaging issues on a deeper level. Can you hang? 8. Consider the times: be selective with the time of day and amount of intake. Can you control your information exposure in a healthy way? 9. Consider the sensation: Wait 48 hours before believing the worst. Often, the sensational news is refuted within 48 hours. 10. Consider the source: Read the original documents or watch the original video footage instead of someone’s interpretation. 11. Consider the angles: Read and listen to people on all sides of an issue. This gives a balanced perspective and a clearer picture of what’s going on. Is the truth closer to the middle? OUTRAGE PORN Check two three Baby take a tip from me There is a storm headed here And if you want to live in fear Then tune on in Every tear shed earns a grin Check three four Baby, better lock your doors Cause if you want to get caught All you gotta do is stop And then you die Something will kill you if you try Check five six Gonna show you some new tricks I search the world for a fear Sell you outrage and a beer And watch you hide Take all your toys and go inside JUST TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED DEAR I DON’T MEAN YOU HARM HERE CLOSE YOUR EYES TAKE MY HAND LISTEN, I’VE GOT NEWS TO TAKE YOU TO EXTREMES AND PASSION YOUR REAL LIFE NEVER CAN Stand, Kneel, Crawl I’ve got outrage porn for all Viruses politics Lairs and the lunatics And then you fall Facedown make me your god your all Here’s my take Quick facts on instant bake You don’t need to do the work I know you’ll love my line The parties rollin’ here full time JUST TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED DEAR I DON’T MEAN YOU HARM HERE CLOSE YOUR EYES TAKE MY HAND LISTEN, I’VE GOT NEWS TO TAKE YOU TO EXTREMES AND PASSION YOUR REAL LIFE NEVER CAN

The doctor is in. Our Samson friend from the Bay area is checking in for a conversation about dealing with fear during this strange time in our world, as well as taking responsibility for our healing process from past hurts.

Pull up a chair and have a listen to Todd Wermers' inspiring story of hope, redemptions, and how God loves to show his glory through people in process. To check out what's happening in Todd's ministry check him out at... tinmanministries.org Or email him at... [email protected]

On today's episode of the Pirate Monk Podcast, Nate and Aaron recruit OG Pirate Scott Dente to have a scintillating conversation with Christian Music Pioneer, Steve Taylor. This one will make you think. We'd love to hear your feedback on the episode, as well as your vote on the dance-off question found at the end of the show. Write to us at, [email protected] Here too are the lyrics that were discussed on the show from Steve's song, I Want to be a Clone. I'd gone through so much other stuff that walking down the aisle was tough but now I know it's not enough I want to be a clone I asked the Lord into my heart they said that was the way to start but now you've got to play the part I want to be a clone Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight cloneliness is next to Godliness, right? I'm grateful that they show the way 'cause I could never know the way to serve him on my own I want to be a clone They told me that I'd fall away unless I followed what they say who needs the Bible anyway? I want to be a clone Their language it was new to me but Christianese got through to me now I can speak it fluently I want to be a clone Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight cloneliness is next to Godliness, right? I'm grateful that they show the way 'cause I could never know the way to serve him on my own I want to be a clone Send in the clones Ah, I kind of wanted to tell my friends and people about it, you know What? You're still a babe you have to grow give it twenty years or so 'cause if you want to be one of his got to act like one of us Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight cloneliness is next to Godliness, right? I'm grateful that they show the way 'cause I could never know the way to serve him on my own I want to be a clone So now I see the whole design my church is an assembly line the parts are there I'm feeling fine I want to be a clone I've learned enough to stay afloat but not so much I rock the boat I'm glad they shoved it down my throat I want to be a clone Everybody must get cloned

Today Nate and Aaron get to have a chat with long-time buddy Mo Leverett as he talks about life post-Hurricane Katrina, his passion for a fine cigar, and his upcoming album Autumn Years. Plus...just for you the faithful listeners, you'll get a sneak peek at two songs that will be on his new project. It's all here, it's all now, only on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

On this episode, Nate and Aaron chat with Eddie Capparucci about how our past experiences shape our coping mechanisms and how to find hope and freedom through asking the "why" instead of just the "what." All that and more, today on the Pirate Monk Podcast. To check out what Eddie and his wife are up to, head on over to... https://abundantlifecounselingga.com/

Today Nate has a chat with Pastor Vern Tompke about the dangers of isolation in the ministry and how true vulnerable community can serve both the pastors and the congregation. Everyone is included in this conversation on the Pirate Monk Podcast. If you want to check out Vern's podcast, Pastors on Porn, head on over to: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/pastors-on-porn-vern-tompke-AuMWGqJ_x1I/

Empathy. Who gives a crap... Today Nate has a conversation with Jason Martinkus about why we should, and how we can up our empathy IQs in our marriage. Jason is also teaching an online master class if you want to jump in the deep end of this topic and learn some vital skills. If you want to check it out take a mouse journey and click on - www.redemptiveliving.com/empathy

Today Nate and Aaron prepare for the holidays, talk about exponential relational growth when trust is demanded, and explore the idea of expectations.

Today Nate talks about what being present means and Aaron sits down to have a chat with Jeff and Beth McCord, authors of Becoming Us. Ever thought your spouse made no sense at all? There's probably a reason, and Jeff and Beth are going to give you some options today. To check out more of their ministry and resources, head on over to: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/