Omnibus

In which the discovery of quantum mechanics leads inevitably to the reappearance of a 30,000-year-old warrior god from a lost continent, and Ken proposes missionaries for silverware. Certificate #27324.

In which a complex of massive earthworks in southern Illinois is assumed to have been built by Vikings, Hindus, or Welshmen, and John is fascinated by sexy voodoo. Certificate #34924.

In which a mysterious treasure is founded in a central London basement, and Ken has a question about the various beads and bangles of Aerosmith. Certificate #7089.

In which the "soldier king" of Prussia recruits and kidnaps Europe's tallest men to serve as his grenadiers, and John admires "merry" people of every height. Certificate #10109.

In which we trace the surprisingly long and eventful history of body hair grooming, and Ken wonders if Brad Pitt will be hot forever. Certificate #33732.

In which apricot pits are discovered to be a cause of cyanide toxicicity rather than a cure for cancer, and John wanders Europe under the protection of a United States Senator. Certificate #527.

In which erosion on North Carolina's Outer Banks prompts the government to move a twelve-story lighthouse half a mile inland, and Ken is in favor of shipwrecks when the ships are bad. Certificate #6374.

In which a gifted Yorkshire boy fails to talk the League of Nations into a thirteen-month year, and John thinks autumn gets short shrift. Certificate #25901.

In which America's richest men invent many, many types of securities fraud while tussling over a New York State railroad, and Ken imagines a zoo full of cows. Certificate #32641.

In which a prehistoric nomad becomes the center of a heated legal battle nine thousand years after his death, and John announces a hydroplane race. Certificate #17567.

In which two Nazi brothers divide a German town into rival athletic shoe factions, and Ken plans a hotel heist. Certificate #31961.

In which one Melanesian village decides, sight unseen, to worship the Duke of Edinburgh, and the gods imprison John in a small ravine. Certificate #50227.

In which the invention of a Bay Area cheerleader becomes science's most exhaustively studied stadium ritual, and Ken doesn't think harbor seals come in different colors. Certificate #4418.

In which twentieth-century America becomes the only time and place in history when people drop letters into their names, and John renames himself in the phone book. Certificate #21831.

In which a clever drillbit company accountant cons banking bigwigs into believing an acre of Wyoming is covered in precious gems, and Ken suggests a touching tribute to Paul Anka. Certificate #52348.

In which a failed Chicago flying saucer cult leads to a landmark study in social psychology, and John blames religious fervor on diet pills. Certificate #17854.

In which an efficient new piece of French glassware changes the history of lighthouses, and Ken learns the exact age of Discovery. Certificate #52246.

In which a modernist Manhattan bohemian accidentally writes the great American bedtime story, and John regrets making his professor voice Austrian. Certificate #44141.

In which scientists from Aristotle up to modern-day Tanzania try to understand the paradoxical way water seems to freeze, and Ken thinks baseball should have cheerleaders. Certificate #25481.

In which a hero of the Second Boer War turns an ill-advised siege into a worldwide youth movement, and John isn't sure if one can tell time with a cannon. Certificate #31247.

In which the American government only gets serious about environmental cleanup after a river in Cleveland bursts into flame well over a dozen times, and Ken believes he could manufacture gravel. Certificate #12398.

In which a Pacific nation loses its founding document and has to ask nicely for a photocopy replacement, and John missed his chance at an assumed identity. Certificate #23621.

In which walrus genitals supply an important element to Alaskan folk art, and Ken will not inspect the underside of a wallaby. Certificate #45999.

In which the uninterrupted 600-year succession of Tibetan Buddhist leadership is threatened by political oppression, and John admires a hat that looks like a banana. Certificate #32762.

In which a series of valleys in central Germany become the focus of Cold War military strategy for generals "fighting the last war," and Ken orders a baby online. Certificate #51668.

In which a "Basque transvestite" leaves her San Sebastian convent in 1607 to become one of the most dangerous men in South America, and John thinks an Italian pope would be a little naughtier than a Spanish one. Certificate #11658.

In which a great spiritual leader lists all the kinds of dice and pick-up sticks and toy windmills that are off-limits to the enlightened, and Ken wants to lick a tetherball pole. Certificate #25968.

In which the same folk song is embraced by both sides of the U.S. Civil War, albeit with different lyrics, and John accuses a Supreme Court justice of having a racist ringtone. Certificate #27330.

In which early America, hoping to keep up with the Chinese, is caught up in an obsession with white mulberry trees, and Ken marvels at the hanky-panky that must go on in every Olympic Village. Certificate #26780.

In which a young man from French Togoland survives a snake attack and embarks on a lifelong quest to see the Arctic, and John loses a large rooster. Certificate #36809.

In which a German industrial town builds a unique new type of suspension railway that fails to catch on worldwide, and Ken disses the Eiffel Tower. Certificate #36460.

In which a Midwestern quack becomes a radio tycoon (and almost governor of Kansas) by extolling the virtues of animal testicles, and John eats cheese out of a pocket. Certificate #42674.

In which we are introduced to the most exclusive cinema-musico-academic club on earth, and Ken volunteers to provide a guest rap. Certificate #32655.

In which a maverick German engineer tries to give an African dictator his very own space program, and John reminds us that astronauts are often quite short. Certificate #48059.

In which a city-sized segment of the world's whaling fleet is trapped together in Arctic ice off Alaska, and Ken blames the horrors of the industrial world on whale ghosts. Certificate #31403.

In which one pioneer's midlife crisis leads him to a brush with Donner Party death and then prosperity in gold rush California, and John is tempted to murder a bassist with a whip handle. Certificate #51638.

In which contraband East German equipment helps create an underground publishing movement in the Soviet Union, and Ken's favorite typeface is now tainted. Certificate #37914.

In which a rare recessive plant gene produces a persistent superstition and a cutthroat collectors' competition, and John will never mock Allah. Certificate #12598.

In which very, very large oil paintings become the 19th-century precursor of the modern movie theater, and Ken has never seen the sun rise by choice. Certificate #14751.

In which some controversial Bible theology sells 65 million apocalypse thriller books and even shapes American foreign policy, and John can identify sinners on a plane. Certificate #40618.

In which a Ukrainian-born tailor brings the first outrageous stage wear to the American music scene--but in country and western, not glam rock--and Ken is unsure about his sky-blue pants. Certificate #27201.

In which English inherits some "postpositive adjectives" from the Norman Conquest that continue to confuse high-ranking federal officials to this day, and John thinks companies should have one vice president tops. Certificate #18999.

In which a series of typographic attempts to improve on the exclamation point and question mark are doomed to failure, and Ken is unable to justify the existence of the backslash. Certificate #22311.

In which America's most beloved television host and moral exemplar composes a series of now-mostly-forgotten children's operas, and John thinks Star Wars is what ends childhood. Certificate #29242.

In which the Soviet Union attempts to close its "Concorde gap" with the West by developing its own terrible supersonic passenger jet, and John is okay with pilots showing off as long as they're in a bar. Certificate #36689.

In which Procter & Gamble spends almost thirty years trying to bring its fat substitute to market, only to see it vanish from the public memory almost immediately, and Ken just wants to eat devil's food cake. Certificate #51232.

In which Scottish mill-worker William McGonagall becomes notorious for his utterly sincere but terrible poetry, and John plans to instigate a sex riot. Certificate #44448.

In which we study the long history of inspirations getting jotted down on scrap paper, and Ken learns he's too lively to be a rock musician. Certificate #44181.

In which Sweden literally changes directions overnight, and John feels that the samurai spirit is all in the details. Certificate #30932.

In which a poltitical revolution in Bolivia produces a new wave of visibility for the nation's hat-wearing indigenous women, and Ken wonders which communist dictators were cuddly. Certificate #16179.