Omnibus

In which the legend of feral children is traced from ancient mythology all the way up to Smurfs and Russian street dogs, and John cannot recommend the Madrid Zoo. Certificate #22714.

In which an adman who survived Nazi and Soviet invasions goes on to reinvent gay eroticism, and Ken wonders which Founding Father looked best naked. Certificate #7136.

In which a ghost-written memoir explains how a great British stage magician defeated Rommel in North Africa with his trickery, and John considers saying "Abracadabra" as a swear. Certificate #37883.

In which a perfect storm of construction, coal mining, and Communist commemoration creates twelve days of gridlock in central China, and Ken imagines an ancient Roman in a stadium parking garage. Certificate #34985.

In which one Canadian newsman convinces America for several decades that daily drinking is the key to solving the "French Paradox," and John thinks Ken looks inhibited holding a spatula. Certificate #13766.

In which Japanese soldiers, unwilling to believe that World War II is over, hold out for decades on islands all over the Pacific, and Ken will never give up on bar soap. Certificate #44164.

In which a nationwide panic over "stranger danger" turns regional dairies into activists for missing children, and John likes when things are "de minimis." Certificate #25468.

In which the world's first nuclear-powered merchant vessel is launched in all its modernist glory, and Ken wants an infinitely long ship. Certificate #26615.

In which the three nascent American broadcast networks face a challenge from a scrappy engineering lab, and John thinks gadgeteers should be certified. Certificate #28450.

In which the "behavioral sink" of rodent utopias is discovered in a Maryland barn, and Ken sings about a urinal trough. Certificate #38792.

In which Sufi mysticism inspires a Bolivian philosopher to divide all of humanity into nine personality types, and Ken visualizes the ur-cow. Certificate #25935.

In which a panel of concerned atomic scientists quantify the dangers of the nuclear age with a timely visual aid, and John's mother has a favorite fact about Benjamin Franklin. Certificate #26973.

In which a medieval pope's disturbing nightmare leads to the addition of "baby doors" at convents and hospitals across Europe, and John thinks robots could replace orphans. Certificate #43431.

In which a Yemeni construction crew finds a priceless trove of Quranic literature and promptly stuff it into potato sacks, and Ken would like to burn some French translators at the stake. Certificate #24503.

In which a unique piece of Jewish medieval art barely survives two European wars, and John imagines that the Venetian papal censor was a chill guy. Certificate #48606.

In which California's largest lake, created by accident in 1905, teeters on the brink of collapse, and Ken complains about a hotel sink. Certificate #44008.

In which an asthmatic British cartoonist sells two million copies of his books of non-jokes for cat skeptics, and John knows what the handle of a gun is called. Certificate #29573.

In which a Shakespearean insult for an obnoxious blowhard comes to be used as an anti-white slur, and Ken wants to test the Appalachians for testosterone. Certificate #38163.

In which a QAnon-like conspiracy theory insists that fancy 19th-century architecture was all built by a mysterious, long-lost superstate, and John is concerned about neighborhood dogs with heads the size of pumpkins. Certificate #20354.

In which a vast hoard of gold and diamonds disppears near the Mozambique border during the Boer War, and Ken thinks most penguin species look like hoboes. Certificate #15845.

In which Latin America's first Marxist democracy tries to collectivize the means of production by inventing a proto-internet in 1970, and John just hopes it was orange and brown. Certificate #53432.

In which the pilots of a Canadian commercial jetliner abruptly realize over Ontario that they're entirely out of fuel, and Ken likes sad character licensing attempts at amusement parks. Certificate #41746.

In which German university students create a new status symbol when they add swordplay to their drinking society meetings, and John's closet skeletons are all bar fights. Certificate #36857.

In which generations of New Yorkers read about, and lasso, a series of not-legendary-at-all interlopers beneath their city, and Ken doesn't think you should trim a reptile like a bonsai tree. Certificate #36161.

In which a self-proclaimed electronics prodigy from Greece wows the credulous Beatles with five years of inventions he will never invent, and John insists that his recursive t-shirt feature Wil Wheaton. Certificate #45939.

In which a future three-time Oscar winner becomes the nemesis of America's favorite fake swamp-rocker, and Ken has prepared a little skit about the death of Stalin. Certificate #42240.

In which underslept Wyoming railroad workers strike back against a tide of pushy brush and encyclopedia salesmen, and John appreciates the Jehovah's Witnesses. Certificate #12881.

In which the unsavory feeding practices of British dairy farms introduce Europe to a new degenerative brain disease, and Ken believes Prince Edward is not necessarily human. Certificate #41602.

In which mediums and other charlatans wage a 150-year war with their sworn enemy, elite stage magicians, and John would never yell at a lake or birdbath. Certificate #44722.

In which a pioneering chemist never sees a cent of the billions of dollars that her tough new polymer earns for her employer, and Ken wonders how many Alaskans fake their own deaths. Certificate #34836.

In which the greatest turncoat in Chinese history betrays every single warlord or government he ever serves, and John had the 4chan version of the '90s. Certificate #40824.

In which a playful-looking but delicate little species is unable to thrive anywhere but its 11-foot wide home near Death Valley, and Ken witnesses a jellyfish tragedy. Certificate #41036.

In which a British magazine very gradually takes over film culture with its once-every-decade top ten list, and John is careful not to endorse an invasion of the Sudetenland. Certificate #51403.

In which a series of lapses at a Union Carbide India chemical plant leads to the worst industrial accident in history, and Ken can't get behind a midnight tea break. Certificate #52760.

In which an Oklahoma tribe becomes the world's richest people before the swindling and the murders start, and John enjoys a web of intrigue. Certificate #47911.

In which a bizarrely illustrated codex baffles codebreakers for almost four hundred years, and Ken should not have sent that text about the collected works of Dickens. Certificate #42634.

In which Europe is so besotted with exotic ungulates that Roman emperors battle them, artists engrave them badly, and salons honor them in wig form, and John asks about Ken's milk bags. Certificate #27983.

In which underground nuclear testing in Alaska leads two Jewish Quakers into a new age of direct action in environmental activism, and Ken is grateful for the air fryer. Certificate #53211.

In which the divine right of kings, along with golden amulets, is considered the only cure for a disfiguring disease, and John considers which celebrities might be carved from wood. Certificate #22347.

In which a rare oxidized form of hemoglobin changes the skin color of a whole holler full of Kentuckians, and Ken wonders when elves got plastic surgery. Certificate #26015.

In which the world's first cultural superpower decides to make all its citizens a year or two younger overnight, and John could not have been a better baby. Certificate #38756.

In which a colorful newcomer to San Francisco loses a fortune on Peruvian rice and declares himself American royalty, and Ken would have pixelized Kiss. Certificate #42631.

In which a future music megastar bridges the gap between rock and hip-hop with one ambitious, illegal remix album, and John is such a good ally that he listened to Suzanne Vega. Certificate #19205.

In which a western religious holiday becomes a romantic poultry-eating occasion in modern Japan, and Ken destroys all his Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts. Certificate #24940.

In which an emperor convenes the first ever ecumenical council to figure out just whom Christians have been worshiping all this time, and John thinks the invention of the wheel led to mass depravity. Certificate #23027.

In which a national campaign to eradicate a misunderstood predator from the United States very nearly succeeds, and Ken would like to see John James Audubon burning in a pit. Certificate #52363.

In which utility companies take it upon themselves to provide the informational staple of every 20th-century household, and John is looking for a missing Jordanian. Certificate #48730.

In which a Finnish architect upgrades the prefab, modular homes of the 1960s by turning them into flying saucers, and Ken wants to know his table's name. Certificate #49729.

In which southeastern Arizona is menaced by a giant, murderous cryptid with a macabre rider, and John conjures up Mr. Clickety-Clack. Certificate #45334.

In which a man who can't find his golf balls solves every law enforcement problem known to man, and Ken has some bad news about parking tickets. Certificate #21137.