Omnibus

In which the waste byproducts of smelting iron become an annoyance and then a hotly contested resource, and Ken wants some aquarium gravel. Certificate #24789.

In which the worst naval accident in U.S. government history almost kills a president but inspires romance instead, and John doesn't love the coquetteish head-tilting in old photos. Certificate #52488.

In which the indigenous people of the Columbia River Plateau breed a new horse with a "leopard complex," and Ken notes you can't milk an emu. Certificate #36454.

In which a great American futurist spends decades experimentally recording his own personal data every fifteen minutes, and John wants to know if Ken is a good kisser. Certificate #49146.

In which figure skating produces the biggest movie star in the world and then a half-century of traveling live entertainment, and Ken believes in promoting peanut vendors. Certificate #43376.

In which some tail-wagging strays become mascots on the frontlines of social protest, and John has an idea for treating arthritic cows. Certificate #53229.

In which a proud Norwegian sea captain decides to one-up the fleet of Spanish boats at the Chicago World's Fair, and Ken wonders how well Elvis knew Nixon. Certificate #21995.

In which an American rocketry pioneer gets over a breakup by trying to summon an ancient sex goddess into our dimension, and John has a modest proposal on school prayer. Certificate #36297.

In which the biggest segment of America's entertainment economy almost disappears in a single year due to lousy product, and Ken is too shy to play Zaxxon in public. Certificate #24180.

In which a great Victorian master of nonsense creates a world of riddles that aren't really riddles, and John thinks a roast chicken has definitely caused a murder. Certificate #35725.

In which the history of water mattresses is traced from ancient goatskins up to 1970s hedonism and even science fiction, and Ken's bed is not moving his butt. Certificate #40450.

In which a series of questionable legends about premature burial lead to an inventors' boom of escapable caskets, and John has been handcuffed at least seven times. Certificate #35676.

In which a surprisingly broad spectrum of conspiracists discovers a secret set of rules for outsmarting the U.S. government, and Ken wishes some of his enemies could be flogged more. Certificate #29113.

In which an upstart media mogul hatches a plan with Moscow to challenge the Olympics and end the Cold War, and John looks for the sexiest pictures of a former First Lady. Certificate #21182.

In which brave souls from Siberia to Zimbabwe try riding and milking some rarely domesticated animals, with mixed results, and Ken wants to put a newborn baby on an ostrich. Certificate #52260.

In which one low-budget action flick forever rewrites the rules of how movies are marketed, and John thinks Spider-Man's aunt is the only real movie star. Certificate #33734.

In which a Yale psychologist attempts to explain the Holocaust using research techniques considered unethical today, and Ken has a theory about the origins of Jeopardy! Certificate #20495.

In which the "Times Square of Europe" is bombed into 150 acres of rubble and eventually the greatest real estate opportunity of the post-Cold War world, and John lists the only three places in Germany. Certificate #38531.

In which Apocrypha gospel adventures and medieval miracles are ascribed to the sacred foreskin of Jesus of Nazareth, and Ken disapproves of hand magic in our schools. Certificate #52348.

In which the majority of Americans become convinced that U.S. POWs are still being held captive decades after the Vietnam War ends, and John assumes those dancing inflatable tube men enjoy Primus. Certificate #49382.

In which the first ever all-electronic groove revolutionizes Jamaican music, and Ken thinks there should be more songs about baptism. Certificate #52239.

In which the dead center of the Pacific Ocean is revealed to be the home of microplastics, sunken spacecraft, and possibly giant sea monsters, and John refuses to leave his keyboard player in the desert. Certificate #49394.

In which an Australian national treasure and a Chinese resort race to revive the most disastrous brand in maritime history, and Ken is fed up with the sulfurous steel of Belfast. Certificate #50231.

In which Swiss mercenaries will desert their post if you whistle a folk song about cows, and John wishes you many goods and cheese. Certficate #26419.

In which a well-mustached electrician starts a labor movement that even Ronald Reagan can get behind, and Ken is working on a chess novel. Certificate #26170.

In which terror of falling behind the Swiss leads the White House to introduce America's children to a new and tramautic form of physical education, and John wants to landscape the top of Mount Rainier. Certificate #39398.

In which a multitude of actresses and one journalist remember being the model for the Columbia Pictures logo, and Ken's fuse box is in the wrong place. Certificate #28564.

In which a French-only precursor to the World Wide Web appears in the late 1970s in a wave of Gallic futurist fervor, and John may have been making long distance calls from a Parisian prison. Certificate #23054.

In which a Bedouin cultural revival in modern-day Arabia leads to a thriving circuit of competitive camel events, and Ken thinks Brazil is acting a little desperate. Certificate #37337.

In which we follow the evolution of the human brow from prehistoric man up through the Kardashians, and John looks into Sanskrit. Certificate #22352.

In which a Beverly Hills celeb photographer, a Siamese kitten named Sassy, and a Broadway legend collaborate to create modern poster culture, and Ken hates the ticking of a giant Garfield watch. Certificate #19046.

In which a Canadian veterinarian saves an orphaned cub on his way to France, unwittingly giving the world a great literary gift, and John thinks there should be a railway car just for thrash metal. Certificate #51029.

In which an Oregon pop trio become near-stars of record, TV, and screen in the mid-1970s, and Ken wonders who the Bee Gees are romancing in the afterlife. Certificate #37614.

In which a new breed of Portuguese statesman rebuilds his capital after the worst natural disaster in European memory, and John thinks a rainbow would never hold up in court. Certificate #30150.

In which a wartime shortage of secret ingredient 7x gives the world its second favorite soda brand, and Ken pronounces beverages like an Okie. Certificate #25939.

In which modern surgery begins at Versailles inside the most beloved bottom in all of France, and John has Moroccan gravel in his foot for years. Certificate #52937.

In which a minor bit of a movie score improbably becomes a chart-topping hit thanks to daytime soaps and Olympic gymnastics, and Ken doesn't enjoy the bongo as a lead instrument. Certificate #25729.

In which a Hungarian composer and virtuoso pianist becomes Europe's first rock star, and John is looking for a German countess with the right braids. Certificate #39341.

In which a two-time Nobel Prize winner believes he has discovered the cure for the common cold, and Ken wants cilantro to tell him what to do. Certificate #31531.

In which a coinage act officially defines American currency much smaller than a penny, and John has an important question about a shrimp restaurant. Certificate #40326

In which 1990s America becomes convinced that the world's least cuddly stuffed animals are the road to financial freedom, and Ken's very valuable comic book gets covered with jelly. Certificate #47159.

In which Victorians use February 14 to woo their sweethearts but also to insult all their enemies, and John reveals the best night of the year to play a concert. Certificate #36155.

In which scandal-plagued Hollywood hires a Harding Administration official to clean up suggestive movies, and John is a student of kissing. Certificate #29282.

In which a German empress comes within a whisker of the English crown during a bloody civil war, and Ken discovers history's most fateful case of diarrhea. Certificate #45359.

In which a Soviet agronomist misunderstands genetics so badly that millions of people die, and John finds giraffes to have the sexiest eyelashes. Certificate #27832.

In which a Japanese college dropout invents a new kind of not-entirely-useless invention, and Ken enjoys a tidy sum. Certificate #36799.

In which accounting records become the basis for an important new genre of Native American painting, and Ken gets nostalgic for his childhood dog food invoices. Certificate #25974.

In which a boring train ride from Devon leads to the creation of the modern paperback library, and John's daughter is a snob about sans serif typefaces. Certificate #41769.

In which a humble locksmith sues the dictator who stole his golden Buddha, and Ken thinks teaching multiplication to juries was a mistake. Certificate #46804.

In which a small group of nationalists leave Wales for the prairies of Argentina, and John explains why he pronounces "Nazi" to rhyme with "snazzy." Certificate #53240.