NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

5-Minute Reset for When You Feel Pulled Back Into the Trauma Bond If you’ve ever felt that magnetic pull to check their page… or that instant surge of anxiety when their name pops up — this quick episode is for you. In this Thrive in 5, Christy Jade guides you through a powerful five-minute reset to help calm your nervous system, stop the obsessive thoughts, and get your peace back — fast. Because you don’t need to text, check, or fix. You just need to breathe, reset, and remember your crown. 👑 Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to rebuild your peace, power, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse? Explore Christy’s most transformative programs below: 🌸 Empowered Boundaries Course Learn how to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral. Includes 10 video modules, a meditation bundle, and lifetime access. → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💖 1:1 Coaching + Somatic Healing Reclaim your peace, power, and clarity in a private, guided journey with Christy. This is where REAL customized transformation is made! Save money when you sign up for 6 and 12 month! 3-Month Coaching Container → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 💌 Resources for Your Healing Journey ✨ Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ Join the FREE Facebook Community for daily support + sisterhood → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade ✨ Snag your Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts for boundary convos that actually work → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Speaker 1 (00:00): Queen, are you feeling that magnetic pull to check their page, getting that spike of anxiety when their name pops up? Whatever it is, you're not regressing, okay? Your nervous system is just having a little flare up in this Thrivent five, I'm going to walk you through a quick emotional reset to get you back to calm, clear, and crowned. Of course, shine it up. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. (00:45) Alright? You're not crazy for still feeling that pull. Okay? Whether that looks like you're questioning things that happened, wondering if you made a mistake, wondering why you even did this. What did you feeling like guilt around it? All right? What happened to me? How did this happen? How did I even get here? And get there and get everywhere? Okay? Your brain built highways to respond to their chaos and healing means building detours, right? So today we're going to walk one of those detours together, okay? So stop what you're doing. If you're driving, you might want to save this for later and go back to it when you get to your destination, when you have a few minutes of quiet. So if you are in a quiet space, stop what you're doing. Take a breath. All right? Now focus on where your feet are grounded. You can stand up, sit down, but try to ground your feet on whatever floor you have beneath you. Okay? Take one. Slow inhale through your nose, 1, 2, 3, 4, and exhale through your mouth, six counts, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And repeat after me out loud. I am safe in this moment. (02:21) Okay? That one sentence tells your body, we are not in danger anymore or we're not in danger right now. So now move something. You can shake out your hands and your arms. You can roll your shoulders back. I love that. I love a good neck roll. Stretch your neck, side to side. Whatever feels best to you. This is your body reset, queen. It's your time to decide, right? It's time for you to get some decisions in this life. Alright? Now imagine the leftover tension leaving your body with every exhale. Okay? So let's say you're rolling your shoulders, just roll back and every time you reach a certain spot, imagine just releasing tension, releasing that tension out of your body, okay? (03:18) Are actually releasing the chemical residue of the trauma bond, the cortisol, the hyper vigilance you're very familiar with, right? So you can always pause this if you want, feel like you need a little extra or just go through the rest of the exercise with all of us, okay? So you've shaken at your hands, rolled your shoulders, your neck, whatever. Felt good. Now we're going to reframe, okay? So repeat after me again. And if you are someone who is missing this person, this is for you. And if not, we'll get to you. Don't worry. Okay? Missing them doesn't mean I made a mistake. Missing them doesn't mean I made a mistake. You're repeating after me, okay? Now, if you're wondering why you still are getting sucked in by them, why you're still responding, even when you know shouldn't, doesn't mean you want to be with them or you miss them. This can mean tha

You finally broke free — but why does it still feel so hard to breathe? In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down what no one tells you about life after the trauma bond. If you’ve ever caught yourself craving the chaos, feeling pulled to respond to that text, or getting triggered by their name — even though you know they’re toxic — this one’s for you. You’re not weak. You’re not “going backward.” You’re experiencing what Christy calls the trauma bond hangover — that emotional, mental, and physical crash that happens when your body is detoxing from dysfunction. 👑 Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to rebuild your peace, power, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse? Explore Christy’s most transformative programs below: 🌸 Empowered Boundaries Course Learn how to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral. Includes 10 video modules, a meditation bundle, and lifetime access. → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💖 1:1 Coaching + Somatic Healing Reclaim your peace, power, and clarity in a private, guided journey with Christy. This is where REAL customized transformation is made! → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💌 Resources for Your Healing Journey ✨ Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ Join the FREE Facebook Community for daily support + sisterhood → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade ✨ Snag your Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts for boundary convos that actually work → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ 💬 Episode Highlights Why guilt spikes when a toxic parent gets older or sick The truth about “honoring your parents” — and what that really looks like in abuse recovery How to stop confusing compassion with obligation Nervous system tools to stay grounded when guilt-tripping starts Christy’s personal reflection on balancing empathy with self-care 🩷 Let’s Connect Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ Email me! [email protected] TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Alright, so you finally got out, you blocked, deleted. Maybe you even changed your number. So why does it still feel like you've been hit by a damn emotional freight train? Today we're going to talk about the part no one really warns you about the trauma bond hangover, the weird, awful mix of craving the chaos, feeling that pull to check their page or getting instantly triggered when their name pops up on your phone. I know that one, even when you know they're toxic, your body's still wired to respond like it is life or death. So you're not weak, you're healing from an emotional addiction. So we're going to talk about what is really going on underneath and how to help calm that nervous system so you can finally actually start to feel free. (00:53) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:51) Okay, queen, let's be honest, nobody really talks about this part. Everyone cheers you on when you're finally leaving the narcissist. You did it, you're free. I hated that mofo. But what happens when freedom doesn't just immediately feel peaceful? You may think you're going to get this huge relief and you may get some, but you expected more and it could be years later and you could still be stuck in feeling that lack of peace. So what happens when your brain keeps checking for danger or your body jolts every time you see their name, you're out of the relationship technically, but it still feels like they are living rent free in your damn head. That is the trauma bond hangover. And if you're in it, oh honey, I get it. I have been there. It is not a fun place. It is not a fun carnival and we want to help you get out. (02:42) Okay, so I first, what is the trauma bond hangover? It is what happens when your body is still addicted to the roller coaster even though you've stepped off the ride. That's what we talk about somatic healing that I do with my clients. That's why we do that body work because your body is still stuck. So your brain was trained literally to associate chaos with connection, okay? Every love bomb, every cruel text, every silent treatment created these chemical spikes and crashes all about

In this Thrive in 5, Christy Jade guides you through a simple five-minute process that helps you protect your child’s emotional safety when dealing with a narcissistic parent. Instead of reacting from fear, conditioning, or pressure to “keep things smooth,” you’ll learn how to regulate your body, detach from the narcissist’s hooks, and model calm authority your child can immediately feel. This micro-training focuses on one small but powerful shift: stabilizing your own nervous system so your child learns emotional safety, discernment, and self-trust — even when the other parent continues their chaos. These five minutes will change how you show up in high-conflict moments. Feeling stuck in the mental loop of the narcissist? Let’s reset it. If you’re tired of the obsessive thoughts, emotional triggers, or constantly replaying what happened, my Calm & Clarity Reset Call is designed to help you shift out of that spiral quickly. In this focused 1:1 session we’ll calm your nervous system, untangle what’s actually keeping you stuck, and create clear next steps so you can move forward with confidence. Book your Reset Call here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Coaching Container: Reclaim Your Peace This container is designed for women who are ready to stabilize their nervous system, rebuild self-trust, and start creating real emotional freedom after narcissistic abuse. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container: Queens of Peace For deeper healing and long-term transformation. Together we work through trauma patterns, boundaries, nervous system regulation, and rebuilding the life you want after abuse. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container This is the highest level of support for women ready to fully reclaim their power and build a life that feels peaceful, confident, and aligned. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today's Thrive in five is all about your energy and moments when the narcissistic parent creates tension because your kids absorb your state more than the actual words that are spoken, right? They're little sponges. So you're going to teach your child safety by regulating yourself first, right in the moment. So we're going to give you this advice. You can save this if you're feeling it right now. You can use it now, but you can listen to know what to do. And then definitely save this episode. So in the moment you can refer to it and maybe you can even take little notes. But this is definitely a saver episode. Alright, so you're going to set your timer for five minutes, okay? (01:06) Get yourself a little timer. It can be on your phone. One of those cute ones you have in the kitchen, the little kitchen timers. I have one that's a little mushroom. It's so cute. Alright, squirrel. Okay, so five minutes. Minute one, you're going to notice your body's alarm system. So think of that last text demand or surprise request from the narcissistic parent, right? And your body probably does one of these things. The chest tightens, the stomach drop. I know that one. The shoulders rise all the way up to your ears and your breath gets shallow, right? One of those two of those, all of those. So first, in that first minute, notice it name the sensation out loud like my chest feels tight. Naming it out loud equals calming it. Okay? True, true facts, only true facts here on the Queen's show. Alright, minute two, you're going to then slow the pace for your child. (02:11) Kids mirror your nervous system. Okay? Remember that? So you can repeat this three breath pattern and you can do it silently or with your child if they're present to teach them, right? We're role modeling and teaching our children what to do when stress comes about. So one, you're going to inhale through your nose. Two, you're going to hold it for two seconds, and three, you're going to exhale a little longer than that. Inhale. And this tells your child and yourself, we handle intensity with calm, not chaos. Opposite of the lovely narc, right? We want to be opposite. So we handle intensity with calm, not chaos. Minute three, detach from that narcs hook. Okay? Ask yourself, what is the fact here? Not the feeling. I get it. We are all up in our feelings. We're empaths. We're good hearted people, w

Ready to stop feeling like a doormat in your own life? Snag your FREE copy of “Bye, Guilt. Hello, Boundaries! Guide to Boundaries That Stick (Without the Guilt Spiral)” https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 This isn’t your typical fluffy PDF. You’ll learn how to: 💥 Ditch guilt for good 💥 Set boundaries that actually hold up (even with narcissists) 💥 Protect your peace like the queen you are This guide is your first step to saying nope with confidence—and meaning it. — 🎧 EPISODE BREAKDOWN: Let’s be honest—co-parenting with a narcissist is next-level. You’re not just managing a schedule… you’re managing chaos, manipulation, and emotional landmines. In this episode, I’m breaking down: The #1 mindset shift that will change the game Boundaries that actually work with a narcissistic co-parent Scripts and strategies to stay calm, clear, and in control Why traditional co-parenting advice fails (and what to do instead) This is your permission slip to stop playing nice and start protecting your peace. — 💬 Join my private FREE Facebook group for support + healing: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 — 💥 Want to go deeper with boundaries at podcast listener's VIP pricing?! Check out my Empowered Boundaries Course—a self-paced journey to help you stop people-pleasing and start standing tall in your truth. 👉 https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=QUEEN50 — Let’s connect: 💖 Instagram: @fiercechristyjade 💬 Email support & coaching: [email protected] 👉 Book your private session → https://christyjade.com/somatichealing : --- Speaker 1 (00:00): Tired of feeling like your narcissistic ex is still controlling your life somewhat, even after the breakup you're trying to co-parent. But it feels more like combat. Let's be real, right? Boundaries should help. So why do they not seem to work with them today? We're getting into y narcissists are different beasts when it comes to co-parenting and some boundary strategies that actually work. Let's go clean. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:03) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself. Again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. Hello, it is Christa. Today we're diving into one of the most exhausting post abuse challenges, co-parenting with a narcissist. Let's be real. This is not normal. This is parallel parenting with a manipulative, self-serving adult child who uses the kids as pawns and the drama as fuel. They love that drama and that's why, oh, just communicate better or take the high road advice from well-meaning people doesn't work here. It doesn't work. And so let's break it down. Why are they different? Right? First, they don't want peace. (02:10) Some healthy minded individuals after a divorce may be hurt, but they really do want peace in the end. So they might disagree with you, but they actually want the resolution a narcissist. They want what control. We know that chaos, they actually want chaos and a reaction. You're feeding them even if it's a negative reaction. So if your boundaries are focused on keeping the peace, you're already playing their game. Okay? Number two, they weaponize everything. So information, your tone, the kid's schedule, anything can be twisted. This means your boundaries have to be so tight, minimal. And my part of what I teach in my boundaries course and elsewhere is emotionless. And that's hard. That's hard for a lot of you, and it was hard for me, but there's ways to do it, okay? And number three, they see boundaries as attacks. They're not seeing, you're protecting yourself. (03:19) They're seeing you attacking them. So it's a rejection. And we all know that narcissists cannot handle rejection. So they'll either push back on it, they'll guilt trip you, or one of the worst things, especially when you're dealing with co-parenting and children, they will punish you through the kids. So that's why setting the boundary isn't enough. You need a backup plan for the backlash because there inevitably will be backlash with a narcissist when you set a boundary. So some boundaries that actually work with narcissistic co-parents or parallel parents, we'll call 'em Number one, like I said, I love the no emotion rule. Use a no emotion, no explanation policy. So think of it like a business

Breaking the Trauma Bond: What Keeps You Hooked (And How to Finally Break Free) Episode Description (Show Notes): You left… but you still feel hooked. You blocked them… but you still think about them. You know they were toxic… so why does part of you miss them? Welcome to the trauma bond. In this episode, Christy breaks down: What a trauma bond really is Why you feel addicted to someone who hurt you The exact steps to finally unhook and come back to YOU If you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or obsessed after narcissistic abuse—this is your wake-up call (and your soft place to land). 💕 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Related Episodes You’ll Love: Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 Stay Connected: email: [email protected] Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): So you block them, you want no contact, whatever it is, they're toxic. So why does part of you still miss them or just obsess over them? Why do you feel guilty or worse even tempted to go back? I've been getting some messages lately with listeners who really are trying to stay away and out of the life and not take the bait, but it is hard for them. So let's go into it. If you've ever felt like you're addicted to the narcissist, this episode is for you. We're talking about the trauma bond, what it is, why it's so hard to break, and how to finally unhook and come back to you because you're the queen, right? (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we were clean that peace, protect our power, and rebuild self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm Christy Jade, and today we are going deep into something most survivors wrestle with. I'd probably say all of them, even after they leave it is the trauma bond. That soul tie feeling, the obsessive loop that goes round and round in your mind, that craving for someone you know is harmful. And we can get shame about this, right? Kick that shit to the curb. We don't have time for your shame. Alright? So you're not crazy. You are trauma bonded and we're going to talk about it. So what is a trauma bond? It is a psychological and physiological attachment. These are real things, okay? Science that forms through repeated cycles of abuse and the intermittent reinforcement. So basically they hurt you. (02:49) They love bomb you, so you feel relief, right? Then what do they do? They pull away again. It's like, yo-yo, right? And your nervous s

Schedule a 1:1 coaching call with me here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ FREE STUFF! Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Why You Don’t Trust Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse (And 3 Ways to Rebuild It) If you’ve ever left a narcissistic relationship and thought, “How did I not see that?” or “Why don’t I trust my judgment anymore?” you’re not alone. One of the most damaging effects of narcissistic abuse is the way it erodes your self-trust. Gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional conditioning slowly train you to question your own reality. Over time, you start doubting your instincts, your memories, and even your smallest decisions. In this episode, Christy Jade explains why narcissistic abuse breaks your ability to trust yourself and shares three powerful ways to start rebuilding that trust so you can reclaim your peace, confidence, and inner authority. Calm & Clarity Reset Call Feeling overwhelmed, stuck in obsessive thoughts, or unsure what to do next in your healing journey? This focused 60-minute session is designed to help you calm your nervous system, gain clarity on what you're experiencing, and walk away with clear next steps to protect your peace. Book your Calm & Clarity Reset Call: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ Transformational Coaching (3-Month Deep Dive) This container is designed for women ready to break free from trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and create strong boundaries after narcissistic abuse. Together we work through mindset, somatic healing, emotional regulation, and practical boundary tools. Apply for the 3-Month Deep Dive: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container For deeper healing and long-term transformation. This container supports women who want sustained guidance while rebuilding their identity, peace, and personal power after abuse. Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container For women who want full support while completely rebuilding their life after narcissistic abuse. This container provides long-term guidance, accountability, and deep healing work. Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact: 00:00): Good morning, Queens. It is Christie and we are diving right into it. I am sick, almost getting over this thing. So if my voice sounds a little froggy, you hear a lozenge tapping around my teeth, that's why. And maybe why this is a little late today. Usually I post it by 6:00 AM and it is now 9:15. So sorry for the delay, but hey, better late than ever? All right. So if you've ever left a narcissistic relationship and thought, how did I not see that? How did I stay so long? How did I do this to myself? How did I do this to my children? Why didn't I trust my gut? There were maybe some red flags. Why didn't I pay attention to them? And maybe now you find yourself second guessing everything. Your memories, your instincts, even small decisions like what to get at the store, what to eat, what to say in a text message. (01:00) If this is happening to you, I want you to hear this. You are not broken. Narcissistic abuse doesn't just hurt your heart. It erodes your ability to trust yourself. So today we're going to talk about why that happens and three ways to start rebuilding your self-trust. All right. So I'm your host, Christie Jade. Welcome if you are new here. Say hello. Follow my podcast so you get every episode. It's Tuesdays and Thursdays. And join the Facebook group. It's private and there's women just like you in there that are going through what you're going through and you can chatty chatsky and I post some quotes, sometimes the links to my podcast, and I'm going to start trying to do some mini videos in there. So definitely join that. That is in the description notes. So if you're here, you're probably someone who has experienced manipulation, gaslighting, emotional abuse, maybe physical abuse, maybe financial abuse from a narcissistic person. (02:07) And hold on. I'm going to spit out my laws and you get to hear this lovely. I didn't do video this week because no one needs to see what's happening. All right. So one of the most painful things that happens after a relationship with a narcissist is something people don't really talk about enough. You don't just lose the relationship. You lose trust in yourself. And often we lose a relationship and think, "Oh, I'm going to find this freedom. I'm going to feel so good. This is so hard, but at least I'm going to be free." But that freedom has a little price tag with it. And that is that often we have lost our trust in ourselves and maybe other people, right? But today

Seeing the narcissist appear happy, thriving, or “better off without you” can trigger a wave of anger, sadness, and self-doubt. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse find themselves measuring their healing by what the narcissist’s life looks like now. In this Thrive in 5 episode, Christy Jade walks you through a short EFT tapping practice to help calm your nervous system and break the mental loop of comparing your life to theirs. Because the truth is this: your healing has nothing to do with whether the narcissist seems to be winning. Your healing is about reclaiming your peace, your power, and your focus. If you’ve been stuck checking their social media, wondering if they’re happier, or feeling triggered when it looks like they’ve moved on quickly, this episode will help you shift your energy back where it belongs — on your life. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why your brain keeps tracking what the narcissist is doing after the relationship • The nervous system pattern that keeps survivors focused on the narcissist • How EFT tapping can interrupt obsessive thinking and emotional triggers • A guided tapping sequence to release the need to monitor their life Feeling stuck in the mental loop of the narcissist? Let’s reset it. If you’re tired of the obsessive thoughts, emotional triggers, or constantly replaying what happened, my Calm & Clarity Reset Call is designed to help you shift out of that spiral quickly. In this focused 1:1 session we’ll calm your nervous system, untangle what’s actually keeping you stuck, and create clear next steps so you can move forward with confidence. Book your Reset Call here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Coaching Container: Reclaim Your Peace This container is designed for women who are ready to stabilize their nervous system, rebuild self-trust, and start creating real emotional freedom after narcissistic abuse. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container: Queens of Peace For deeper healing and long-term transformation. Together we work through trauma patterns, boundaries, nervous system regulation, and rebuilding the life you want after abuse. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container This is the highest level of support for women ready to fully reclaim their power and build a life that feels peaceful, confident, and aligned. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact: 00:00): Hello. I have to do some intro music because I don't have time to do the whole thing this week. So we're going to go. I forgot my music. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with me. How's that? Should that be my new diddy? All right. So you guys, yes, it's been a crazy week, kind of a tough week. If I'll be honest, we all have our weeks. A kind of tough week for me. I know I want to talk about stuff more, so maybe I'll take that opportunity. So also connect in the Facebook group, you guys. Don't forget. Don't forget. It's always in the show notes. You can join there. It's a private group. So it's not public. No one can see it. And there's questions to make sure no sketchies or bots get in there. You have to provide your email, all of that good stuff so we know it's like a safe place to chat. (00:56) That being said, yeah, there's been some shifts and I am very excited to really focus on my business and just really concentrating on my book. I've been working on my book, if you guys don't know that, which is related to narcissistic abuse recovery. Very excited about it. And I have some really cool leads where hopefully it will be able to get seen and impact more people than I hoped even. So cross your fingers and pray for that. You know my goal is to help as many women as I can deal with ... And men. I've had men write me too that listen to this podcast. So thank you. Thank you. This advice is not just for women. That's true. I just happened to specialize in working with women because I'm a woman and I know the woman things. But also if you hear it, I don't know if I'm getting sick or it's the crazy weather here in the DMV. (02:00) I live right outside of Washington DC. And right now it's dropping dramatically to 30 something degrees when it was 84 degrees yesterday. It's wild. It's been absolutely wild weather here. So hold on to your seats where you are too. I heard there's some weird shifting in Colorado or Utah too, just some weird weather patterns. So here we are. Anyway, but I wanted to connect about ... I'm on this journey and sometime

Have you ever noticed that just when you start moving on… the narcissist suddenly becomes kind again? Sweet messages. Apologies. Promises to change. It can make you question everything. In this episode, Christy explains the manipulation tactic known as hoovering—why narcissists suddenly act nice when they feel you pulling away, how this behavior fits into the narcissistic abuse cycle, and what you can do to protect your peace. If you've ever wondered whether their sudden kindness means they've truly changed, this episode will give you clarity. 🎧 Listen to the episode: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-fh2h2-1945389 Your Next Step in Healing If you're dealing with hoovering, emotional manipulation, or the lingering effects of narcissistic abuse, you don't have to navigate it alone. These patterns can be confusing and exhausting—but clarity and peace are possible. Working together can help you break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and confidently protect your boundaries. 1:1 Coaching Support 3-Month Transformational Coaching Container This container is designed for women who want focused support breaking free from narcissistic abuse patterns, strengthening boundaries, and reclaiming their peace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container For deeper transformation, this program helps you fully rebuild self-trust, emotional stability, and confidence after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container The most comprehensive option for women who want sustained support while rebuilding their life, identity, and relationships after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Exact scripts to handle narcissistic texts and manipulation. https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course Build strong boundaries that actually stick. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook Community Connect with other women healing after narcissistic abuse. https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Related Episode How to Spot a Narcissist in 60 Seconds One of the most popular episodes of the show. Learn the fast red flags that reveal narcissistic behavior early. https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-4sj92-15e6a4b Contact Email: 00:00): Ever notice this? You finally start pulling away from the narcissist, you get strong, you get fierce and queeny, and suddenly they're nice again, overly nice. Sweet texts, apologies, promises. Today, we're talking about why narcissists suddenly act nice and the manipulation tactic called hoovering that pulls so many people back in. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five-minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. All right, queens. It is Christie with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. Welcome back or welcome if you are a newbie, a newbie queen. Welcome to the show. Today, we're talking about something that confuses almost everyone who has dealt with a narcissist. You start getting your power back, right? You stop chasing them. You stop overexplaining yourself or explaining yourself at all. And out of nowhere, they're nice again. (01:10) And you're like, "What just happened? What's happening?" And this usually shows up right when you start detaching. So maybe you stop texting back so fast because you are losing the conditioning that everything is urgent when it's not. Maybe you set a boundary and say, "I'm not going to let you talk to me like X, Y, Z anymore." Maybe you emotionally checked out. Maybe it's been a while, you are burnt out from their nasty, sticky, ugly spiderweb and you're just disconnected. And suddenly they miss you. They appreciate you. They're sorry. I have quotes up if you can't see me in the video. If you're just on audio, I'm putting a little quotation over that, sorry, because they're fake apologies. Okay? Or our personal favorite here, "I've been doing a lot of thinking." And your brain goes, "Wait, maybe they are really changing." But what you may be experiencing is called hoovering. (02:19) So what is hoovering? It is named after yes, the vacuum brand, because the narcissist is trying to suck you back in. When they feel you pulling away, they switch strategies. Instead of criticism, they'll give charm. Instead of distance, they will give you and shower you maybe even with attention. Instead of blaming you, they will give apologies. But the goal usually is not healing. The goal is regaining access to you. I'm going to repeat that again. Their goal is not healing, which it would be lovely if it was, but it is regaining access to you and c

Narcissists love sending ‘urgent’ texts to hijack your peace. In this episode, Christy explains why they do it and how to shut it down fast—so you can stay calm, confident, and in control 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. All right, queen, let's talk about that moment. Your phone dings and suddenly your peace is gone. It's the narcissist and the message is urgent. Or at least they say it is. Maybe it's call me now or it's an emergency, or it's important answer or even as low as the kids need. You sound familiar? Well, here's what you need to know. Those out of nowhere or urgent type texts are rarely about real emergencies. They're about control. A narcs favorite word. Alright? So a narcissist wants you to yank out of your calm, especially if you're doing well, you're moving on. Ooh, that irks them, right? They want to spike your anxiety and test if they still have access to you, if you're still going to take the bait, if you're still going to respond. (01:22) I always say, don't take the bait, keep it very simple. Gray rock method. We talked about that on Tuesday's episode, speaking of which, this episode is related to Tuesday's episode, which was all about these texts, and today is just a quick tool to handle them, basically handling those fake emergency texts. So step one, pause. Do not reply instantly. And we mentioned this in Tuesdays, but that's a quick note, right? Just pause. The pause puts you back in the driver's seat. So when you feel like stressed out, when you read it, take a breath and pause. Two, check the facts. Is it truly urgent? If it's not about your kid's safety or something, life or death, it can wait. Step three, respond and don't react. Keep it short, neutral and business-like that. Gray rock method. So an example, and I go over this all more in depth than Tuesday's episode if you didn't listen, so that will be in the show notes. (02:37) Example is noted. I'll handle it when I'm able to, period. Okay? No overexplaining anything. No getting emotional. Keep it to the basics. To the facts. Okay? So the next time your phone lights up with a fake emergency from your least favorite narc, remember, you are not at their beck and call, okay? Your piece is what's important. Your piece is what's urgent, and you decide when and how you engage. Girl, you got your damn power back, right? That's what we're doing here. Shining our crowns, getting our power right? So if you want more scripts or strategies, how to navigate all this stuff, grab my free Boundaries pocket guide as a start, and then if you want to work one-on-one and do customize scripts, customize strategies, that's where the real transformations happen. I always have the ways to work with me one-on-one in my show notes, so check it out. (03:46) And you can also join my free Facebook community with other ladies like you. I drop some truth bombs out there and I always put the podcast episodes. Sometimes I'll do some videos. So definitely go join that community. What else? I guess that's it. That's it. It's pretty, this might be my shortest episode ever. How crazy. Wow. Under four minutes. All right, give me a high five through the screen. Give yourself a little queen hug and I'll see you in the next episode. Don't forget to follow this podcast too, and help me help more people. Love.

In this episode, I read the letter I’ll never send — and share what it taught me about self-trust after narcissistic abuse. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed in conversations, questioned your own reactions, or normalized what your body knew wasn’t safe, this one is for you.Your Next Step in Healing If this episode hit close to home, you may be in the stage where understanding isn’t the problem anymore — your nervous system just needs support integrating safety and clarity. ✨ Calm & Clarity Reset Call A focused, private session designed to help you regulate, gain perspective, and leave with clear next steps when emotions feel overwhelming or confusing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Deep-Dive Container Focused support to break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and create emotional stability after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Program For women ready for deeper identity rebuilding, boundary mastery, and long-term nervous system healing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace Mastery High-level mentorship and integration for lasting transformation and full life reclamation. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Free Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Private Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Have you ever felt paralyzed in a conversation like no matter what you said, it was going to be wrong? Like your body was braced even when things were quote fine. Today's episode is different. I'm going to read something I've never read before. And if you've ever loved someone who slowly made you smaller, this is for you. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. Okay. So this episode is going to be a little different. I'm not teaching first, I'm going to read something and it's not about one specific person exactly. It's about a pattern. And if you see yourself in it, I want you to listen all the way through. All right? Here we go. Dear narcissist. I didn't see you at first and that's the part that still gets me. (01:12) I didn't see anything that felt overly dangerous. I saw intensity. I saw big emotions. I saw someone who reacted strongly and I told myself that just meant you cared deeply. You told me that meant you cared deeply. I thought the chaos meant passion. I thought the tension meant connection. I thought if I could just communicate better, it will calm down. (01:48) What I didn't see was how I was changing. I started feeling paralyzed in conversations and I mean any conversation, not just fights or conflicts. I would rehearse what I was going to say in my head before saying it out loud because somehow I already knew it would be wrong. No matter what I said, it would get twisted. And eventually I stopped trusting my own reactions. I started questioning whether I was even justified in feeling like you were overreacting. Maybe I was too sensitive, like you said. Maybe I did misunderstand like you said. Did I even provoke it? (02:40) All things you conditioned me to believe. So instead of holding my ground, I backed off or I overexplained. I took responsibility for things I did not do. I avoided topics that might set you off. Fixing it, fixing us became my role and keeping the peace became my job. And my body was keeping score the whole time. My tight chest, my tight jaw, the constant exhaustion, pure exhaustion, feeling drained all the time. This low grade brace in my nervous system that really never went away, even when I white knuckled through. Even when things were quote fine, especially when things were fine. And to the outside world, to people who maybe got glimpses, "I protected you. I joked about it. I minimized it for myself and for them. (04:02) I made it sound dramatic, but normal. I didn't want people to see what I wasn't fully admitting to myself, that this was not just conflict. It was dangerous unpredictability. And that unpredictability, that constant unpredictability does something not just to your mind, but your body. There were moments that did cross lines. Moments my body knew were not safe. And instead of leaving, I normalized them. That's the part that is sometimes hardest to say out loud, that the shame and the guilt, that's where those come from. I normalized what my nervous system was screaming about. And the moment I couldn't unsee it, it wasn't dramatic. It was clarity. (05:12) It was realizing that this was not just emotional intensity. It was escalation. That

Still Missing Them Today? Do This Instead (Thrive in 5) You thought once you left, the missing would stop. But instead, certain moments still hit — a memory, a song, a quiet night — and suddenly you question yourself again. In this Thrive in 5 episode, Christy Jade explains why missing a narcissistic partner does not mean you made the wrong decision. What you’re actually grieving isn’t the person — it’s the version of you that existed inside the trauma bond and the future you believed was coming. You’ll learn how to reinterpret that feeling in real time and use it as a signal to reconnect with yourself instead of looking backward. If you’ve been caught in obsessive thoughts, emotional pullbacks, or sudden waves of longing after leaving, this episode gives you a grounded, nervous-system-safe way to move through it. Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Calm & Clarity Reset Call A focused, private session designed to help you regulate, gain perspective, and leave with clear next steps when emotions feel overwhelming or confusing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Deep-Dive Container Focused support to break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and create emotional stability after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Program For women ready for deeper identity rebuilding, boundary mastery, and long-term nervous system healing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Private Community 00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Hello queens. If you caught yourself missing them again today or yesterday, hopefully not both. This episode is going to change how you interpret that feeling in the next five minutes. Alright, so quick reset moment. If you listen to my last episode from Tuesday, we talked about how you're not actually missing the narcissist, you're missing something a little deeper. So today I want to give you one powerful practice to use in the exact moment that missing feeling hits, because here is what happens. Your brain labels the feeling as I miss them, but your nervous system is actually saying, I miss familiarity. I miss certainty. I miss who I thought I was becoming. So instead of reaching for the memories, try this pause and ask yourself, what version of me feels far away right now? Not them you. (01:30) Maybe it's the hopeful person. Maybe it's the secure version. You remember the woman who felt chosen, the woman who believed life was about to open up there was more coming. That is who your system is grieving. I just had a conversation with a client yesterday about this. You're grieving and here's the reframe that changes everything. Okay? You didn't lose her. Okay? She's not gone. That queen is still in there. She just hasn't fully met the safer environment yet. So when the missing shows up today, don't interpret it as a sign to look backward. Interpret it as a signal to reconnect inward. (02:35) A lot of times we look back at these memories and the what ifs and why did I do that? This living in our head, spinning in circles, replaying, wondering, confused all the feelings and the thoughts are exploding in our minds at once. It's time to go inward right into the heart and then take one small action that supports your stability. You need stability right now. We're missing stability, right? So text somebody that you feel safe with, okay? Nobody that has any relation to this person that you don't feel safe with that connection there. Okay? So let's not text their sister today A safe friend. Maybe it's your sibling, maybe it's a coworker that you're very close with. You can go outside, right? Stability. Physically. You can get stability from grounding. There's grounding techniques you can do or just walking. There's something about grounding your body, right? (03:59) Regulate your body in some way. Exercise even. I mean, like I said, walking, but even just something simple. Dancing, right? Putting on some fun tunes, shaking a tail feather. Maybe two, do they have two? Tail feather? We're getting weird now. Let's keep going. But regulating your body in some way, moving your body very beneficial and reminding yourself, I'm not going back. I'm coming back to myself. The authentic self. I refer to this as that solid gold block we're all born with and no matter who we are, narcissistic abuse or not, a lot of shit kind of covers up that solid gold block. That's the authentic us. That's in a way our higher self, our highest self that we can be and not trying to be like, oh, let's achieve this. I'm not in that way. It is our unique golden, beautiful self that we desire to feel like that loves ourself, that feels confident, that feels secure, feels safe, all of those things. (05:23) And you're coming back to that. And healing isn't

If you’ve left a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship but still find yourself thinking about them, questioning your progress, or feeling pulled backward emotionally — this episode will bring powerful clarity. You’re not actually missing the narcissist. In this episode, Christy explains why calm can feel uncomfortable after narcissistic abuse, how trauma bonding conditions the brain and body, and what’s really happening when memories or longing resurface. This conversation will help you release shame, understand your healing process, and begin retraining your body to feel safe in peace again. Your Next Step in Healing If this episode hit close to home, you may be in the stage where understanding isn’t the problem anymore — your nervous system just needs support integrating safety and clarity. ✨ Calm & Clarity Reset Call A focused, private session designed to help you regulate, gain perspective, and leave with clear next steps when emotions feel overwhelming or confusing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Deep-Dive Container Focused support to break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and create emotional stability after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Program For women ready for deeper identity rebuilding, boundary mastery, and long-term nervous system healing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Private Community 00:00): Hello Queens. Have you ever caught yourself thinking about them and then immediately getting mad at yourself afterwards? Why am I still thinking about this person I left? I know who they are, I know what they did. So why does part of me still feel pulled back today? I want to gently flip something upside down for you because you're not actually missing the narcissist, you're missing something else. And once you understand this, a lot of shame is going to go, we don't like shame in this room. No we don't. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you. (00:53) Alright, so welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I'm Christie, as many of you know, if not welcome, thanks for showing up. And if you're here today, I already know something about you. You're not where you used to be, right? You've learned, you've woken up, maybe you left. Maybe you're emotionally detaching, maybe and trying to stay grounded, but there's still this confusing moment that happens sometimes, right? You're doing better and out of nowhere a memory hits or you wonder what they're doing. Or your body feels heavy, chest tight, maybe you feel a little nostalgia, right? And then the second wave after that is guilt or shame around that. What is wrong with me? Why do I still miss them? This doesn't make sense. So what we're going to talk about today is what's actually happening because this moment right here is one of the most misunderstood parts of healing. (02:00) Alright? So here's the truth. Most people never explain. You're not missing the narcissist. I repeat. You are not missing the narcissist. Isn't that? That's like a relief, but you're not so sure yet are you are missing what your nervous system learned to expect while you were surviving them. They're two very, very different things. So when you were in that relationship, your brain and your body, that's the somatic healing we talk about. Adapted. In order to keep you safe, you learn to scan their moods. Remember that Not so fun. You learn to anticipate their reactions. You learned how to fix any fixers out there? Yeah, I see you, I see all of you. You learn to soften to manage them if you know and to do whatever you could to prevent the explosions before they happened. So your body was constantly on alert. So here's the part that surprises people. (03:10) That constant emotional intensity created chemistry. So high stress, that high, high, high chaos followed by relief. The conflict followed by moments of calm or reflection, maybe even got fake apologies or flowers or just calm. It could have just been calm where it wasn't chaos. And that's good enough for us, not really, or fear followed by reassurance. So that cycle releases powerful, neurochemicals, adrenaline, cortisol. You've probably heard all the things about cortisol, dopamine probably heard that. These are like buzzwords nowadays, right? But they're real. And that cycle releases them. It's like the storm before the calm. So even though it was painful, it became very familiar. I would almost call it comfortable because it was so familiar. And the nervous system loves familiarity more than it loves happiness. Do you know that? I'm going to repeat that one again. Your nervous system actually loves familiarity more than happiness. (04:31) Okay? Your nervous system chooses familiar before it chooses peace. We're going

You can understand narcissistic abuse intellectually and still feel your body react instantly when they reach out. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck — it means your nervous system hasn’t learned safety yet. In this Thrive in 5, Christy shares a simple, powerful reset you can use in real time when you feel triggered, flooded, or pulled back into old emotional patterns. This short practice helps interrupt the automatic reaction cycle and teaches your body that you don’t have to perform, explain, or fix anything to stay safe. If you’ve been looking for a small but powerful shift to help your healing actually stick, this episode gives you one you can start using today. Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to move beyond awareness and start creating real emotional freedom, deeper support can help you practice these shifts in real life — not just understand them. Work With Me — Coaching Containers 3-Month Transformational Coaching (Deep Reset & Momentum) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Program (Deep Pattern Healing & Rebuild) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace Program (Full Identity & Life Transformation) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text, you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen, this one's for you. Have you ever walked away from an interaction thinking, I stayed calm. I didn't take the bait. As Christie Jade always says, so why do I still feel shaken? Like your body's buzzing. Your mind won't stop replaying it, and somehow they're still in your head. Maybe hours later today I want to talk about why that happens, because it's not a lack of healing. So a lot of women think if I were really healed, I wouldn't react anymore. But healing from narcissistic abuse specifically doesn't start in your thoughts. It starts in your nervous system, all the fun. So your nervous system learned survival long before you learned boundaries, right? That's why you ended up having to learn about boundaries and hopefully setting some at this point, but maybe still not quite knowing how or knowing how to stick to them or handle backlash from them, all of that, right? (01:25) But here's what's really happening. So when you were in that dynamic with the narcissist, you body was trained to stay on alert. Unpredictability teaches your brain what? Stay ready, fix it fast, prevent the explosion. We know all about that escalation. So now, even when you may logically understand what they're doing, logically, I say that because, and let's be honest, even logically it doesn't always make sense, but logically, you can kind of explain it away. Your body still reads them as a threat. So that reaction you feel, it's not emotional weakness, it's conditioning. It's what you have been conditioned to feel by the entire situation. So this is why you can prepare the perfect response. Tell yourself, I'm not going to engage. And then one text comes in, and suddenly you have that sinking heart feeling, right? I know you know that feeling right? That heart drops, and it's not even exactly like, oh, you care what they think. Maybe anymore, maybe you used to. But even if you've stretched away from that feeling, it's because your body remembers what used to happen next. (03:01) Let that sink in. Your body remembers what used to happen next when you were closer with them, when you were living with them. And I know some of you may be listening that you're still in the situation. Most of my followers, most of my clients are away from the situation, or they may not live with the person if it's someone in their family, like a parent. But you could look at that. If it's a parent, right? When you live with them as a child, you're now still your body, still remembering what used to happen after you. Whatever way you weren't good enough or didn't do it right, or didn't do exactly what they wanted, how they wanted, even though it wasn't reasonable. Same thing if you were in a romantic situation with someone living with them. Same thing where your body is remembering what used to happen next. (04:02) So here's the shift. I would love you to try this week. Stop trying to win the interaction. We often can go to the other side of the pendulum. We feel like we've lost for so long that we just want to get these wins. What

The 3 Reasons You Still React to a Narcissist (Even When You Know Better) You’ve learned the patterns. You understand narcissistic behavior. And yet — you still find yourself reacting, explaining, defending, or feeling emotionally pulled back in. This episode breaks down why that happens and why it has nothing to do with weakness or lack of healing. Christy explains the nervous-system and psychological reasons survivors continue to react, and how awareness alone isn’t enough to change the pattern. If you’ve ever left an interaction thinking, “Why did that still affect me?” — this episode will bring clarity and relief. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why trauma bonding keeps your brain hooked even after separation How nervous system conditioning overrides logic in real time The hidden emotional triggers narcissists activate — often without words The shift that helps you move from reaction → regulation → response Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to stop overthinking interactions and start feeling calm, clear, and grounded again, deeper support can help you retrain both mindset and nervous system responses. 3-Month Transformational Coaching (Deep-Dive Support) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Focused, high-support coaching to help you stabilize emotionally, implement boundaries, and break reactive patterns. 6-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ For women ready to fully rebuild self-trust, confidence, and emotional safety. 12-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Long-term transformation and identity rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact: https://christyjade.podbean.com/e/ep-5-the-grey-rock-method-how-to-disconnect-from-narcissistic-abusers/ TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): So you understand narcissistic behavior now or at least way more than you used to. You see the manipulation, you see the patterns you promised yourself, you will not get pulled in again. And then one message shows up and suddenly your heart is racing. You're explaining yourself again, and afterward you're wondering, why am I still reacting like this? Today we're going to talk about why that happens and why it does not mean you are failing at healing. Okay? Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. (00:51) Hello queen. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with Christy Jade. Alright, so I want to start first with something that I hear constantly, and maybe you've said this to yourself too. I know what they're doing. So why does it still affect me? Because there's this strange phase in healing where your awareness wakes up, but your nervous system is still lagging. It's still not caught up, and this is very, very normal. So I want you to know that first of all, right, your mind understands what happened, but your body, that nervous system, all the things still reacts like it is happening now. Basically it's stuck, and I get that word so much from my clients, I feel stuck. So the text comes in, your stomach drops, you feel pressure to respond immediately. That urgency, oh, I'm familiar, I remember that guy. Do not miss urgency. And you start mentally defending yourself before you've even unlocked your phone and afterwards, then comes the shame. (02:04) I should be past this. So today I want to walk you through something very gently, well, as queen gently as I can be, right? Because there are really three things happening underneath these reactions, and once you see them, you will stop blaming yourself. Well, that is my goal here. Okay, so reason one, your body still thinks you are in danger. When you lived inside these narcissistic dynamics, your nervous system adapted to survive the unpredictability. This is something that is not normal. It's not what most people have to go through in life, this unpredictable, unsafe feeling all the time. So you learn to respond quickly, explain fast, fix tension before it actually escalated. Not you were weak, but because your brain was protecting you, right? Your subconscious. So now when that person reaches out, your body reacts before logic has time to step in. Your heart speeds up your thoughts, race desperately trying to figure out what to do, even though a lot of times we've been through this over and over and you feel that urgency again, urgency is my enemy. (03:32) I still have some residual, and this is just a little side n

Short Description Narcissistic co-parents are masters at twisting boundaries—but you don’t have to fall for their traps. In this Thrive in 5, I break down 3 sneaky tactics they use and exactly how to outsmart them so you can protect your peace and power. 👑✨ 💻 Courses & Coaching 👑 Empowered Boundaries Course → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ ✨ Work 1:1 With Me (current 1:1 programs) → 3-Month Coaching Container Focused, high-touch support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and stop being emotionally hijacked by co-parenting dynamics. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container Deeper healing and integration for women ready to fully rebuild self-trust, emotional safety, and confidence after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container A long-term, transformational container for women ready to fully reclaim their power, peace, and identity — and create a steady, regulated life beyond survival mode. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 🌟 Connect & Resources 👑 Join the Private Facebook Community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade 🎁 Free Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 🎤 Subscribe to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast → https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/f7vsi-208d1a/Narcissistic-Abuse-Recovery-Podcast 🎧 Related Podcast Episode 🪨 The Grey Rock Method: How to Deal with a Narcissist if You Cannot Go No Contact https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 TRANSCRIPTS Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today we are breaking down the three biggest boundary traps that narcissists use in co-parenting. They are sneaky little ways. They try to keep you off balance, steal your peace and rope you into their chaos. No thank you. So here's the best part. I'm not just going to tell you what the traps are. I'm going to give you the exact tools to outsmart them every single time. Queen Edge. Alright, so the first is the infamous guilt trip. You're probably familiar with that, right? They'll say things like, if you really cared about the kids, you'd switch weekends or you're being so selfish by not helping me out. And what is their goal to make you feel like a bad mom or a bad co-parent? (01:09) Bad parent, period. Unless you cave, right? They're trying to get whatever fits into what benefits them. So how do you outsmart it? First you stick to the plan and then literally repeat the boundary without defending it. Remember this part without defending it? So that could look like, nope, we're going to stick to the parenting schedule and then pause. Zip it. Do not explain. Okay? We have a tendency when we are people pleasers or empaths or don't want to be misunderstood. That was a big trigger for me just in my life being misunderstood. So over explaining can make us feel like maybe we'll be understood or just giving reasons, right? Don't explain, don't argue, don't get emotional. None of those things are going to help, okay? You want to outsmart them. Remember that the silence is actually the strength, okay? Remember, silence is strength. Silence is strength. (02:18) Don't take the bait. Okay? So number two, the endless negotiator, okay, you say no and they immediately push back. Well what about just this one time? Or well if we switch next week instead, or what if I pick them up later instead of earlier? What if all the different things to try to get their way somehow and getting their way equals what? Control. That's what they're trying to get. We're not going to give it to 'em, okay? They keep changing the terms to wear you down. So this is actually calculated, manipulative. When they're doing this. They figure if they can drag you into the back and forth, they then already have your energy. They're already gaining the power over you. So how do we outsmart it? Again, don't take the bait. My favorite phrase of life, restate once, then disengage. So it's very similar. So something like, no, we'll be sticking to the plan. (03:27) If they keep pushing, don't respond. I would maybe say it twice. If they have a first negotiation party coming out of their mouth, say, Nope, we'll be sticking to the plan. Nope, we'll be sticking the plan and then don't respond. Or maybe on the third time you say, I've already answered and move on your time, energy and sanity are what is not up for negotiation. And if you let them repeatedly suck you into where you're responding over and over and over, they are gaining that power and feeling like they're getting you closer and closer to giving them what they want. And they probably are half the time, okay

If co-parenting feels harder now than it did when you were in the relationship, you’re not imagining it. Many women experience intense anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and self-doubt long after separation — even when they’re doing everything “right.” In this episode, we unpack why co-parenting with a narcissist or high-conflict parent often feels like emotional whiplash, and why traditional advice like “just communicate better” can actually keep you stuck in a cycle of dysregulation. You’ll learn what’s really happening beneath the surface, why your nervous system reacts so strongly, and what shift actually creates steadiness and relief. This conversation is about naming what others miss — and giving you language, clarity, and direction when co-parenting feels impossible. What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why co-parenting can feel worse after the relationship ends How intermittent emotional reinforcement keeps your nervous system on edge Why “healthy communication” backfires with narcissistic personalities The real goal of co-parenting in high-conflict dynamics How reducing emotional access restores calm and clarity Your Next Step in Healing If this episode named something you’ve been feeling but couldn’t explain, this is the exact work I do inside my private coaching containers — helping women move from emotional whiplash to emotional containment so they can protect their peace and show up grounded for their kids. Work With Me 1:1 3-Month Coaching Container Focused, high-touch support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and stop being emotionally hijacked by co-parenting dynamics. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container Deeper healing and integration for women ready to fully rebuild self-trust, emotional safety, and confidence after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container A long-term, transformational container for women ready to fully reclaim their power, peace, and identity — and create a steady, regulated life beyond survival mode. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Free Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade 📩 Contact: 00:00): Hello, hello everybody. How are you? I hope you are doing well. It has been super cold, super cold here in the DC area. We got lots of snow/ice. They were calling it, now I forget, some mix between ice and concrete. Ice create. That sounds like ice cream, but I don't think that was it. Anyway, it has been quite a wild ride over here and I want to do a special nervous system reset on Thursday. So make sure to follow this podcast on my main page. Just make sure to hit follow so you can get all my episodes, all my fancy stuff. But today we're talking about co-parenting because I know most of my clients are going through that. A lot of you listeners are going through that. And today I'm going to talk about why it feels like emotional whiplash more than co-parenting and why "good communication" can actually make it worse. (00:58) Sometimes we're not given the best advice. (01:04) Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five-minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. So welcome back. I'm Christie Jade. If you are co-parenting with a narcissist or high conflict, toxic, whatever buzzword you want to insert there, and you're feeling anxious, dysregulated, needing that namaste like myself right now. But it might be right after you're coming out or soon out of a relationship, or it could be you're years out and you're still feeling this, then you are in the right place today. This is one I've been wanting to record a while because it addresses something so many people feel, but don't really have the language for. So why does co-parenting feel harder than the marriage did in ways? Some of us who come out go, "Wait a second. (02:17) Why does this feel harder? Should I have just stayed?" It can get even to that point. Why does a two-sentence text knock you out emotionally for hours or have you spinning, your mind spinning and trying to analyze, or you're just uptight on those eggshells you were when you were with them and you're still walking on the eggshells in different ways now. Why does all the advice about, "Oh, just be the bigger person, have good communication, seem to actually make things worse instead of better." I'm going to answer all of it. That's why Queen Christ is here. We're all queens in this together, right? So put your little shiny crown on and we'll have a little chatsky. Drink your beverage, your favori

If you’ve ever wondered why you feel overwhelmed, reactive, emotional, or exhausted after dealing with a narcissist — this episode is for you. So many women come out of narcissistic abuse believing something is wrong with them. That they’re “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or “too much.” But what you’re experiencing isn’t a personality flaw — it’s a nervous system response. In this episode, I explain why your body may still be on high alert long after the narcissist is gone, how emotional conditioning keeps you stuck in self-doubt, and why logic alone doesn’t stop these reactions. Most importantly, we talk about how to begin restoring safety inside your body so you can stop blaming yourself and start trusting yourself again. You are not broken. Your body learned how to survive. Your Next Step in Healing If your body still feels stuck in fight-or-flight — even when you know the narcissist was the problem — deeper support can make all the difference. I offer three private coaching containers depending on the level of support you’re ready for: Transformational Coaching – 3-Month Deep-Dive A focused container to stabilize your nervous system, reduce emotional reactivity, and rebuild self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Queens of Peace – 6-Month Coaching Container For deeper nervous system healing, boundary integration, and identity rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Queens of Peace – 12-Month Coaching Container For women ready to fully reclaim their peace, power, and sense of self long-term. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Questions or not sure where to start? Email me directly at https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 • Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ • Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ • Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade

If you’ve ever wondered why your body still panics—even when you know better—this episode is for you. Narcissists don’t just manipulate conversations; they manipulate states like fear, urgency, guilt, and confusion. And once your nervous system is activated, logic goes offline. In this episode, Christy breaks down three specific ways narcissists hijack your nervous system, why your reactions are not a failure, and how to begin calming your body so you can respond with clarity instead of spiraling. This is especially important for anyone co-parenting, navigating post-separation abuse, or dealing with a narcissistic parent or ex. You’ll learn how nervous system hijacking actually works—and why healing isn’t about “being stronger,” but about safety, regulation, and self-trust. Your Next Step in Healing If interactions with a narcissist still send your body into panic or shutdown, 1:1 coaching offers personalized nervous-system-aware support, communication strategy, and boundary clarity—especially for high-conflict or co-parenting situations. Email: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container Deep nervous system work, boundary integration, and identity rebuilding so you stop second-guessing yourself and start living from calm authority. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term healing for complex trauma, co-parenting, family narcissism, and post-separation abuse—supporting true, lasting regulation and peace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): If you've ever thought, why am I still panicking when I know better? This episode is for you. Today, I'm going to break down three very specific ways narcissists hijack your nervous system so you can stop blaming yourself and start calming your body again. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen. This one's for you. Alright, so welcome back. Let me say this clearly right out of the gates, if your body still reacts even after therapy, after setting your lovely boundaries and doing everything right, you are not failing. Your nervous system has been trained. So narcissists don't just manipulate conversations, right? They manipulate states. So states of fear, urgency, God, I hate that one. Guilt and confusion. So today we're not talking about just, oh, just ignore 'em or be stronger, right? (01:19) We're talking about how the hijacking actually happens and what helps you come back to safety. Alright? So the first way they use urgency to bypass your regulation, this one is very, very important and one that I didn't really learn about till later in my research. Education, knowledge, all of them, right? This urgency is something we all get conditioned to have. So it can be sneaky, it can be sudden texts, last minute demands, fake emergencies. I remember having some of those, like this needs to be handled right now or call me immediately. I've literally had a narcissist say, this is an emergency you need to pick up when I wouldn't pick up. And then it goes, you go, oh, okay. And then you find out it's not really an emergency, right? So urgency shuts down your thinking brain and activates what we are familiar with survival mode. (02:33) So your body doesn't ask, is this real? It asks, am I in danger? And once you respond from that place, the narcissist feels power again. So what do we do with all this, right? I can just, sorry, I'm just thinking back to that urgency feeling and how disruptive is right. So I just want to, I guess for solidarity sake right now, say I see you and I feel you in this space of urgency. And it's this just constant stress in your body that is feeling like everything's urgent and this fear of if you don't respond right away, if you don't do what they say, it's this tight chest tight neck. It literally changes your body, not just your mentally, but your body, your physiology. So one way to reframe it is that urgency does not mean importance. So what can help with this is before responding pause and orient, because you have to pull yourself out of this urgency. (03:55) You have to retrain, reframe your brain so that you don't feel stuck in this cycle. So orienting, I've talked about this on here before, but this really helps in these situations. So you can just pause wherever you are. This is great. You can do this tool anywhere. Name three things you can see. So I'll do an example right now that you don't have to think a

Sometimes healing doesn’t start with heavy insight — it starts with a laugh. In today’s Thrive in Five, Christy shares a light, humor-filled episode inspired by a conversation with her daughter about how dogs can surprisingly mirror narcissistic behavior. While this episode is playful, the patterns it highlights are very real — and often the same ones survivors were conditioned to normalize in toxic relationships. This episode offers a nervous-system-friendly way to recognize narcissistic traits without shame, overwhelm, or self-blame. If you’ve ever laughed at something and then thought, “Wait… why does that feel familiar?” — this one’s for you. In this short episode, you’ll notice: Why constant attention is not the same as connection How selective listening shows up in narcissistic dynamics What boundary violations really signal (and why they’re not your fault) Why love-bombing feels confusing but familiar How emotional regulation often gets unfairly placed on you This episode is meant to be a collective exhale — because awareness doesn’t always have to come from pain. Your Next Step in Healing If humor helps you see patterns, boundaries help you change them. Download the Boundaries Pocket Guide to learn how to protect your peace without guilt or over-explaining. 👉 https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Work With Christy 1:1 3-Month Coaching Container Ideal for unraveling confusion, breaking trauma bonds, and stabilizing your nervous system. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container For rebuilding self-trust, boundaries, and identity after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container Deep integration, long-term support, and lasting transformation. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact: 00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Okay, so I was joking the other day about how my dog is such a narcissist and my daughter was like, you should totally do an episode on how dogs are like narcissists. And I thought it was funny, but then I was like, you know what? Things are pretty heavy in the world right now. There's a lot going on. We could all use a little chuckle. So here it is, a little Christy humor today, but there is some real nuggets you can also take away from today's episode. So to be clear, this is a jokey episode, but stay with me because humor is sometimes the safest way to see patterns we've been trained to ignore. (01:01) Alright, so sign number one that the dog is maybe a narcissist. The constant need for attention, your dog will stare at you, not blink, just stare until you acknowledge them. The translation is narcissists need constant attention, validation, reassurance, and emotional energy. Or they get very dysregulated like our little pups. A reminder though, the attention isn't connection, real connection does not require you to perform on the in the narc sense of things, right? In the human narc sense of things. Sign number two, selective listening. So your dog can hear a cheese wrapper from, I don't know, three rooms away, but come here, come here. I just had this happen two days ago with mine. Come here. I have a little Maltese cutest thing ever, but that guy doesn't listen unless he wants cheese, but nothing. I called him four times. Little guy was like, Nope. Because he knew I didn't have anything for him that he wanted at the moment, right? Translation, narcissists, hear what benefits them and ignore what doesn't. Especially your needs, feelings or boundaries. And the reminder for this consistently not hearing you isn't confusion. It's prioritization, right? All right, sign three zero. Respect for boundaries. Okay, bathroom time. Anyone, this is kind of like toddlers too, but dogs, your lap, there's your bed. Also theirs. The translation is narcissists feel entitled to your space, your time, your energy and access. Because boundaries feel like rejection to them. (03:04) Do you know that? It's always about them. So if you have boundary for yourself, they're going to make it about them anyway. So the reminder, someone reacting badly to a boundary doesn't mean the boundary is wrong. Sign number four, love bombing. Your dog ignores you all day, then suddenly you grab your keys and they're obsessed with you and no, no, mommy, don't go. Does that sound familiar? The translation narcissists turn on affection when they sense distance or loss of control, not because they've changed narcissists, don't change. Remind

Feel like you know they’re toxic but still feel emotionally hooked? This deep cord-cutting is your sacred reset. Release the energetic ties, reclaim your peace, and feel lighter—fast. ✨ Press play, Queen. Your freedom starts now. Narcissistic Abuse Coaching 1:1 Intake Session https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected] Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk Speaker 1 (00:00): All right, this episode is for saving, and you can go back to it over and over and over and over again. You might need it. Sometimes we do cord cuttings and they do work immediately. A hundred percent. I have had that happen with one of mine, one of my narcissist cord cuttings, another one where it was someone I had known a lot longer and deeper relationship with. It took somewhat longer a few times, and then sometimes it feels good to just do it if you have any sort of feeling like come back, right? Because nothing's foolproof, like, oh my God, you're never going to think about this person or worry about this person again in your life, right? But I promise you, there is energetic entanglement that does get separated when you do these cord cutting. So stay close. Wait for my amazing intro and then you'll be back. And we're going to dive deep into this cord cutting from a narcissist. (01:07) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (02:05) Alright, welcome, queen. I am so excited for this episode because these have helped me so much. Oh my gosh. Let me just describe real quick. One of my favorite cord cuttings was from someone I knew from a very, very long time ago, and I was really worried. I had cut them out of my life and was like, this is going to be so hard. So right away, I'm going to do a cord cutting, and I had done cord cuttings before. That's so I had experience with them, so I knew to just do it right away. And I did a cord cutting. It was very powerful. I had some emotions come up. It was a 20 minute one just like this. And the I don't know, difference. It was really night and day right after. And I can't promise you everyone is going to have exact same results, but I do promise you will have some result and feel a change, even if it's a small one. (03:09) It also depends on how open you are and what you believe. I always say you got to have faith for things to happen. That's just my personal beliefs about a lot of things. But this worked so well for me, especially with that one person. Other ones, like I said earlier, that it might take a little bit longer or a few times. So it depends. Everyone's different. So give it time, give yourself grace, but you will have some transformation of some sort, and definitely save this, save this, save this. Okay, so let's just take a breath for a second. Okay? This is your sacred space here where we're going to do this cutting. This is your moment to realize what no longer serves you. That doesn't mean you're selfish, just means there's something that it's not even just not serving you. It is doing damage to you. (04:11) So to cut the energetic cords that have kept you tangled in pain, confusion, the chaos of narcissistic abuse, right? We don't want to stay in that spiderweb of hell. So you are safe here in this moment. You are powerful here. You have the power right here. You are coming home to you. So I invite you to take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale. This is the beginning of your new found freedom. Okay? When you feel ready, close your eyes. We're going to do a little breath work to start. Bring both hands to your heart and make sure you are in a quiet space where you will be uninterrupted. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. These are called halo breaths, and they're my favorite. A

If guilt hits the second you set a boundary, it’s easy to think you did something wrong. But in narcissistic or emotionally unsafe dynamics, guilt often shows up because you finally did something right: you protected your peace. In today’s Thrive in Five, we’re talking about why boundaries feel so hard after emotional abuse, how your nervous system connects “saying no” with danger, and the simple mindset shift that makes boundaries easier to hold. You’ll also learn a 3-part boundary formula you can use immediately — without over-explaining, defending, or getting pulled into a debate. This episode is for you if you’re ready to stop negotiating your needs and start building real emotional safety in your life. Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start holding boundaries without spiraling, I can help. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. What'd you think? That was me doing my sound test. What? And I feel too lazy tonight to edit it out, so you get to hear it. That's my sound test. Oh, my lighting is trash if you're on YouTube. Sorry. Sorry for you. My lighting is trash. I just put all these eyedrops in that probably are making my makeup a mess, but here I am. What do you get with Christie Jade? You get authenticity at its finest. All right. So today in our Thrivent five, we're talking about boundaries. They aren't mean. They're your nervous systems. Safety plan. All right? So if you feel guilty every time you set a boundary, you're not too sensitive, you're not bad at boundaries. (01:20) You're trained to believe that protecting yourself is wrong. And today we are going to break that programming. Yes, we are. I love a good cycle breakage, right? All right. So here's the truth. A lot of women don't struggle with boundaries because they don't know what to say. They struggle because their body believes that a boundary equals danger. We've been conditioned that way. I hate conditioning, don't you? For the birds. Let the birds go have the conditionedness. What? I'm making up words now. So maybe in your past when you said no, you got punished. This could be childhood. This could be previous relationship, whatever. Maybe you got guilt tripped. I'm all too familiar with the guilt trippings. Maybe you got iced out, the silent treatment or the straight rage, which we know a lot of narcissists do serve as a lovely punishment. Or you got that fine. (02:26) Do whatever you want. Energy where you're like, "Oh, great. What does that mean? That doesn't really mean fine." Yeah. So your nervous system learned. If I have needs, I lose connection. Let that sink in. We've been conditioned. If I have needs, I lose the connection, the connection you hope to have with somebody. So let me give you a reframe that changes everything. Okay? Hear me out. Maybe get a little notepad, write it down on a little post-it. A boundary isn't a demand. Okay? It's not trying to control someone else. A boundary is simply what you will do to keep yourself safe. And don't we? We all deserve safety. Can I get a what, what? Yes. We all deserve safety. So a boundary is just what you will do to keep yourself safe. It doesn't have to be about controlling somebody else. It's about what you're doing for you. (03:32) So it's not, you need to respect me. It's, if you speak that way to me, I will end the conversation. It's not you need to stop texting me at night. It's, "Hey, after 7:00 PM, I can't respond or I won't be responding." Okay? It's not, "You need to understand why I feel this way." It's, "I don't need you to understand. I need you to stop. (04:07) I don't need you to understand." So here's a simple three part boundary that works even with those difficult people. Okay? So the decision, number one, is I'm not available for this. It's the decision. Number two is the limit. This looks like I will not continue this conversation if it becomes disrespectful. So you've decided and you're setting a limit and then the follow through. If it happens again, I'm going to hang up, I'm going to leave, I'm going to mute you physically. No, I'm just kidding. Or ending this. That could be a relationship if it gets to

If you’re trying to set boundaries with a narcissist and it keeps turning into an argument, you’re not doing it wrong — you’re just dealing with someone who treats your boundary like a debate. In this episode, I’m breaking down why explaining yourself often makes things worse with toxic people, how over-explaining becomes emotional ammunition, and what to say instead so your boundary is short, clear, and unshakable. You’ll learn how to stop trying to be understood by someone committed to misunderstanding you — and start protecting your peace in a way that actually works. Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to stop over-explaining, hold the line without guilt, and build boundaries that actually stick, coaching is where we do this together in real life — with real scripts, real support, and real nervous system safety. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your identity, raise your standards, and create a life that finally feels like yours. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources ✨ Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ ✨ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ ✨ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact [email protected] Coming Up Next More tools for high-conflict communication, protecting your peace, and staying grounded when toxic people push back. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Where did I go? I can't see myself. All right, there we go. Hello people, Queens, hope you are doing very well and we're getting into the new year now. It's kind of a crazy place out here in the United States. I'll put a pin on that one and we'll talk about the narcissists of the world. All right, we're going to talk about boundaries today. All right. So if you keep trying to explain your boundary in the perfect way, hoping they'll finally get it, this episode is your wake up call because with a narcissist, more explanation doesn't create more understanding. It actually creates more ammunition. So today I will break down why explaining yourself actually backfires and exactly what to say instead. (00:54) Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. All right. So welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I'm Christie Jade. And today we're going to talk about one of the biggest traps women fall into when they're trying to set boundaries with a narcissist. Explaining, overexplaining, clarifying, defending, and oh, the favorite justifying. So basically giving the full TED Talk to someone who already ... He's decided, she or he has decided to misunderstand you. So why explaining yourself actually makes it work? Worse. So what most women believe, if I can just say it the right way, they'll respect it. But with a narcissist, boundaries are not treated like information. They're almost treated like a challenge. So when you explain, they don't hear, "Oh, she's communicating. (02:09) How lovely." No. They hear, "Oh, good. Time for a negotiation," and they love a good negotiation, don't they? Or even worse, they may think, "Oh, good. A list of the exact emotional buttons to push for this specific individual." You're kind of giving yourself away. So the difference between healthy people and narcissists with a healthy person, an explanation leads to understanding. Clarity leads to connection. A boundary leads to adjusting things in the relationship, right? But with a narcissist, the explanation leads to a debate. Have you had that one happen? Yeah, me too. Clarity leads to them finding loopholes and a boundary leads to punishment. They don't like boundaries, right? So they are going to do what a narcissist loves to do, which is punish anybody who goes against what they want 100%, which when you set a boundary, that's you saying, "I'm not going to just throw myself at everything you tell me to do your way or the highway," and they don't like that. (03:28) So if you've been feeling like, no matter what I say, it turns into a fight, you're not failing, right? It's not you. You're just using healthy communication to what? An unsafe person. (03:43) So you are trying to do it the right way. Setting healthy boundaries with a healthy person leads to healthy results. But when yo

I am not feeling too hot so reposting an oldie but goodie! Hope you enjoy it! Episode Description (Show Notes): You left… but you still feel hooked. You blocked them… but you still think about them. You know they were toxic… so why does part of you miss them? Welcome to the trauma bond. In this episode, Christy breaks down: What a trauma bond really is Why you feel addicted to someone who hurt you The exact steps to finally unhook and come back to YOU If you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or obsessed after narcissistic abuse—this is your wake-up call (and your soft place to land). 💕 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Related Episodes You’ll Love: Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 Stay Connected: email: [email protected] Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): So you block them, you want no contact, whatever it is, they're toxic. So why does part of you still miss them or just obsess over them? Why do you feel guilty or worse even tempted to go back? I've been getting some messages lately with listeners who really are trying to stay away and out of the life and not take the bait, but it is hard for them. So let's go into it. If you've ever felt like you're addicted to the narcissist, this episode is for you. We're talking about the trauma bond, what it is, why it's so hard to break, and how to finally unhook and come back to you because you're the queen, right? (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we were clean that peace, protect our power, and rebuild self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm Christy Jade, and today we are going deep into something most survivors wrestle with. I'd probably say all of them, even after they leave it is the trauma bond. That soul tie feeling, the obsessive loop that goes round and round in your mind, that craving for someone you know is harmful. And we can get shame about this, right? Kick that shit to the curb. We don't have time for your shame. Alright? So you're not crazy. You are trauma bonded and we're going to talk about it. So what is a trauma bond? It is a psychological and physiological attachment. These are real things, okay? Science t

Highly sensitive people don’t heal by pushing harder, thinking more positively, or forcing themselves to “move on.” If you’ve done the therapy, gained the insight, and understand what happened — but your body still feels tense, on edge, or exhausted — this episode explains why. In this episode, we talk about why traditional healing advice often fails highly sensitive people, what healing actually means for a sensitive nervous system, and how safety — not mindset — is the missing piece. You’ll learn why insight alone isn’t enough, how your body responds differently than your mind, and what real, sustainable healing looks like when you stop overriding yourself. This episode is especially for you if you’ve ever thought, “I know better… so why do I still feel like this?” Your Next Step in Healing If you’re highly sensitive and want support learning how to heal without pushing, forcing, or abandoning yourself, this is exactly the work I do with my clients. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ • Free Facebook Community: 00:00): Hello, queens. It's Christie. If you are a highly sensitive person like myself and you've done all the things, the therapy, the journaling, understanding, even that alone, we're good at that, aren't we? But your body still feels tense on edge. You get the visceral reactions and you get the mind spins, right? This episode is for you. Yay. So stay tuned here. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. But highly sensitive people, they don't get better by pushing harder. They heal by learning how to feel safe in their bodies, our bodies, because I'm one of them. And when this happens, and that's why I'm so into somatic healing, but when it happens from the body, that is when the transformations truly take place. (01:09) So welcome back to the podcast. If you are a follower of mine, I think I've told this story how I did acupuncture years ago. I'll tell it again, just in case. But I did acupunctures in my 20s. I am now 45, yes, as many, probably about 20 years ago, almost exactly. And I did it once. I was so excited to do it too. And I had a not great reaction. (01:38) I have been told since then I should have just stuck with it to move it through. But I was like, "Hell no." Because I got a fever and my mono resurfaced from the year before, who gets mono as a 20 ... Oh, I was 28 and then it came back at 29. So that's how old I was. So 28 to 29. So I was 29 and mono crept back into my life. That was just crazy. But I guess people say, "Oh, they went too fast or whatever." I don't know. I was like, "F that, never want to do it again." But I have heard so many amazing things and you know I'm such a big proponent of healing through the body and my body reacts so well. I do feel like some people are more in tune to body healing. I don't know if it's openness or, I don't know, physiology or what, but I know I react very well to yoga, to somatic healing, to breathwork, to all the energy body healings. (02:41) So it keeps flashing in me. You know you get nudges. So I've been getting the acupuncture nudge. Well, I got one months and months ago and I wrote to this local lady who has a good reputation and she was like, "Oh, I'm going to be out on leave, baby leave." So I was like, man, she was like, "Oh, this other person can do it. " And I was like, "Nope." Because when I get a nudge, I get specific nudges and it was toward her. I was like, "Nope, I don't want anyone else." So I just went la-da-da-da-da. And then the other day I got another nudge and was like, "Oh, I should see if she's back." And she's been back and there's also a sail and I was like, "Okay, God's going ding, ding-dong, get your needle on. " So needless to say, or needles to say, sorry, I had to, that was so bad. (03:37) I'm going to try acupuncture again tomorrow, pray for me. And for multiple things, there's so many things I could use it for. Just like nervous system regulation, but also my nerves will go to my stomach, so I can have very sensitive stomach, especially in high stress seasons of life. And I'm going through a remodel. So there we are. That's where we are with that one. And also TMI, but I'm an overshare. My monthly mayhem, I call it, my monthly period is pretty much torture. It's been for a very long time and we're going to give this a go and see if it helps because I can't take certain things or whatever. So I've heard it can help tremendously, so we're going to try it for a few things. And I have seasonal

Have you ever wondered why some people don’t just irritate you — they completely dysregulate you? In this episode, we explore why highly sensitive people are more deeply affected by emotionally unpredictable or manipulative personalities, and why this has nothing to do with being weak or “too much.” If you’ve been healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and still find yourself over-explaining, self-blaming, or staying longer than you should, this episode connects the dots with compassion and clarity. This conversation is about understanding patterns — not judging yourself — so you can finally stop managing other people’s emotions and start protecting your nervous system. Your Next Step in Healing If this episode hit close to home and you’re realizing this pattern has repeated — and you’re tired of trying to figure it out alone — you don’t have to. I work 1:1 with women healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse who are ready to feel calmer, clearer, and more grounded in their relationships and decisions. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ 📩 Questions or support: 00:00): Queens, if you are highly sensitive, there is a reason certain people don't just annoy you. They completely dysregulate you. And it's not because you're weak or dramatic or overreacting. It's because your nervous system notices things others were trained to ignore. It's actually a gift. Love it. I've got the gift. Do you? Stay tuned. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. All right. So tonight's episode is a continuation of Tuesdays, and there will be one more on next week's Tuesday episode, and then we'll get back to a Thrive in Five on Thursday. But I also just wanted to say hello. I was thinking in this new year, I might share a little more about just myself, even my journey, and just even some of my day-to-day stuff, because I want to feel a little more connected to my audience. (01:14) And I'd love you to hop over into my Facebook group. If you didn't know, I have a private Facebook group, and it is for all women, and it's private. And I ask questions to make sure no shady people coming in there, except myself. Just kidding. And yeah, but I just want to share more and be a little more engaged on a personal level. So a couple things I have going on to share with you. Number one, I finished my manuscript. I am going to be writing a narcissistic abuse recovery book. I am so excited. Well, I wrote it. Currently, I am going through one more pass and then my editor will be starting to do the developmental editing on it starting in March. And then from there, I'm still working on if I want to self-publish or traditional publish, my gut is saying traditional publishing, and I've got a couple calls lined up to talk with people about that. (02:17) It's really exciting stuff. This is one of my dreams. I always wrote. This is like we're having a biography. Don't worry, we'll get to the good stuff too, but this is good stuff, right? You know a little more about me? Maybe I can learn a little more about you. So when I was young, I loved, loved to write. I wrote poetry because what? Highly sensitive. Poetry stories. I have written a few novels. (02:46) I've published poetry book out there. So I've always been in the writing realm. And this is now my baby book because it's like my purpose work mixed with just this dream I had to complete a book that I felt safe sharing with the world and that would help people. So I am so excited. I can't talk about the title or anything yet, obviously, until I'm promoting it. But I am so grateful for you guys to be supporting me through listening to this podcast. It has kept me going, kept me motivated. All of your emails and just even seeing how many listens and though my podcast has grown to top 1.5% in the world makes me feel like it's all worth ... Th

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained — replaying what was said, questioning yourself, or wondering why certain people affect you so deeply? In this episode, we explore the difference between being highly sensitive and being chronically exhausted from emotional unpredictability. If you’ve been healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and still wonder why your body reacts so strongly in certain relationships, this episode offers clarity, relief, and a nervous-system-based explanation that finally makes sense. This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s about understanding how your body adapted — and what it actually needs to heal. Your Next Step in Healing If this episode explains you — and you’re realizing you’ve been trying to heal through willpower instead of safety and support — you don’t have to do this alone. I work 1:1 with women healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse who feel deeply, think deeply, and are ready to feel grounded, clear, and safe in their own bodies again. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade 📩 Questions or support: 00:00): If you are here because you have been healing from narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse, I want you to know this episode is still for you. This isn't me changing direction. It's me adding some context because so many people who were deep or are deeply affected by toxic relationships of any kind are also highly sensitive. Lucky us, we get to be a good old target. So no one really explains why that matters. So we're going to talk about a little bit of this, a little bit of that today. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. (00:52) Okay. So if you've ever wondered why certain people leave you completely drained, why you replay conversations in your head, why you feel things so deep, and maybe you've been told you're too sensitive, or why healing felt kind of linear, this episode might finally explain some of that to you. And more importantly, it might help you stop blaming yourself. I hear a lot of clients with a lot of shame and blame, and we're here to kick that to the curb. Okay. So are you highly sensitive or just attuned? So let's talk about what being highly sensitive actually means. Without the labels or the quizzes, highly sensitive people are not weak. They are deeply perceptive. So your nervous system picks up on the tone shifts in a conversation on emotional undercuts, right? Unspoken things, unspoken tension, and you pick up on inconsistencies. So you don't just hear words, you actually feel energy. (02:01) So someone could be saying one thing and you're feeling another. So you could sense, maybe you sense lying or deception. So you can be highly sensitive, but also a people pleaser. So that can be a mix of where you may even feel something's off, but you have been told you're too sensitive or you think too much or you're too analytical. So you kind of second guess yourself when you do actually get these kind of intuitive hits. So like I said, you don't just hear the words, you feel the energy. You're just an energy queen. That's all. It's great. So in safe environments, this is actually a gift. So yay, but not all environments are safe as we know. So in an unsafe or emotionally unpredictable environment, that same sensitivity can become very exhausting. So why do some people affect you so much? Here's the part not everyone explains in the narc world, right? (03:08) But your sensitivity didn't cause this harm. So yes, in a way, we can attract a certain somebody by being seen as someone who is empathetic and has a bleeding heart or whatever. But don't let go of it. Okay? We want to keep that. It's still okay to have, but it actually magnifies the impact. So it doesn't cause the harm, it magnifies the impact. If you grew up around control, a controlling perso

If the new year feels confusing, quiet, or emotionally heavy after narcissistic abuse, this episode explains why — and what it actually means. After narcissistic abuse, healing isn’t about becoming a “new you.” It’s about shedding the survival identity you were forced into and reclaiming a self-led identity rooted in safety, peace, and self-trust. I offer longer-term 1:1 coaching containers designed to help you stabilize your nervous system, rebuild self-trust, and reclaim your peace in a grounded, sustainable way — especially during emotionally charged seasons. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Questions or support: 00:00): Oh, we are coming up on the New York Queens. It is almost 2026. And if the new year feels strange to you, a little out of the ordinary, maybe you're not rushing into your goals or your vision boards. I love a good vision board, by the way. If you feel quieter like you want to be not so peopley, it's not because you're stuck. It's because the version of you that survived narcissistic abuse is no longer who you are becoming. Today, we're going to talk about identity after narcissistic abuse and who you are when you're no longer being controlled, manipulated, or emotionally hijacked by somebody else. (00:49) Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. Let's start here. This part really, really matters. The identity you had to become to survive. Okay? When you are in a narcissistic relationship, you don't have any kind where you are being controlled. You don't just lose time and energy. You lose access to yourself. I call it the solid brick. We're born this beautiful golden brick that has all these amazing things. That's us. That's our authentic self. And as we grow, and this could be in childhood, if it's also society and other people's shoulds and whatever, we've got all this dirt and stuff just covering that shiny, beautiful gold brick. If you are in a toxic or narcissistic relationship, it's basically a bunch of bullshit all over you, right? (02:00) Until you come onto the other side, grab hands with Christie Jade and we pull you out, wipe you off, shine you up, get your crown back. But you are losing access to that self, that golden version of you. So you may have had glimpses of it. You could have never really known it fully because it was lost also in childhood. You could have had parents and then toxic relationships after you were out of your house, what other situation is. But you become the version of you who stays alert, the version who anticipates others' moods. You know the eggshell walking on them. Yeah. The version who explains, well, over explains, softens, edits what you say adjusts or the version who survives by being easy. The people pleasing can come in there. And here's the truth no one really says out loud, but yours truly will because you know I'm a truth speaker. (03:05) Women don't leave a narcissist and step into freedom. They leave and they bring the survival identity with them. Okay? (03:20) That freedom is not something you just walk into immediately. So if you're thinking, why don't I know what I want? Not necessarily just relationship wise and different aspects of life. Why do I still feel on edge? Why doesn't the new year feel exciting? It's because your nervous system has not caught up to the fact that you are safe now. So why does the new year feel weird after narcissistic abuse? The new year brings space. It's a new space and the space can feel terrifying when chaos was familiar. I just had this talk with one of my clients today. You are so familiar with chaos. It's not saying you want it. It's not saying, "Oh, I desire chaos or I thrive off drama or whatever." It's just, especially if you've been going through something like this for years, it can really be terrifying when you now have space, openness, wh

Christmas is supposed to feel joyful — but for many women healing from narcissistic abuse, it feels heavy, tense, and emotionally exhausting. If you notice anxiety creeping in, your body staying on high alert, or old wounds resurfacing at Christmas — even if you’re no longer in the relationship — this episode will help you understand why. In this Christmas special, we’re breaking down why narcissists often get worse during the holidays, how Christmas activates trauma stored in the nervous system, and what you can do to protect your peace without forcing yourself to feel festive. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why narcissists are especially triggered by Christmas and family-centered events How holiday expectations create the perfect environment for manipulation and control Why your nervous system reacts before your mind can explain it Common ways narcissists sabotage Christmas, both subtly and overtly How to create a more regulated, emotionally safe holiday experience Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 If you’re ready for deeper, supported healing — especially during emotionally charged seasons like the holidays — I offer longer-term 1:1 containers designed to help you stabilize, rebuild, and reclaim your peace over time. 3-Month Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Questions or support: https://christyjade.podbean.com/e/ep-5-the-grey-rock-method-how-to-disconnect-from-narcissistic-abusers/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, queens. If you have ever found yourself thinking, why does Christmas feel so heavy? Or why am I on edge when everyone else seems excited? This episode is for you because when you've dealt with a narcissist, Christmas doesn't really feel festive. It feels like pressure, performance, and emotional landmines. So today we're going to talk about why narcissists get worse at Christmas and why your body reacts before your mind even knows what's happening. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back? Well, you're in the right place, Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dried ice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here. To feel free, I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:07): Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun, because I'm sparkly in fun, so of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep that chamomile tea, silence all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Okay. So welcome back. I'm Christie Jade. If you are new here, welcome, welcome. This is Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. All the fun things about understanding the narcissist, recovering from the narcissist, starting your new life maybe without the narcissist or how to navigate if you do have to keep in touch with the narcissist, right? But the holidays can be so tricky in all of those ways. So if you're listening to this wall wrapping presents, sitting in your car, hiding in the bathroom, maybe with the chocolate, or trying to hold it together while everyone else is talking about how magical the season is, I want you to know something. (02:11): Nothing is wrong with you. If Christmas brings up dread instead of joy, if your chest feels tight, if you feel on edge, emotional or maybe numb and disconnected, this episode is going to help you. All right? So why do narcissists get worse at Christmas? You may have guessed this or felt like they do, but why would they? Let's start there. Christmas is emotionally loaded. A lot of expectations, as we all know, traditions, family pressure, kids making memories, performance, right? There's a lot of performing going on and narcissists thrive in environments like this. Christmas gives them built-in attention, right? Built in guilt, built in

When your child is stressed or dysregulated — especially after time with a narcissistic, high-conflict, or toxic person — you don’t need the perfect words. In this Thrive in Five, I share a simple 5-minute co-regulation practice you can do with your child to help their nervous system settle and feel safe again. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why you don’t need to fix or explain in these moments A step-by-step 5-minute regulation tool How to help your child feel safe without forcing conversation This tool works after exchanges, during anxiety or shutdowns, and with any stressed or anxious child — not just in narcissistic co-parenting situations. Your Next Step in Healing If co-parenting with a narcissist is impacting your peace or your child’s emotional safety, my 3-Month Transformational Coaching Deep-Dive provides grounded support, boundaries, and nervous-system regulation. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Free Support Boundaries Pocket Guide: https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peaceloveandboundaries Questions? Email me at https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Free Support Boundaries Pocket Guide: https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peaceloveandboundaries 📧 Questions? Email me at [email protected]

Episode Summary When you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, your child often absorbs stress they don’t have words for yet. Meltdowns, shutdowns, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm aren’t misbehavior — they’re nervous system responses to chaos. In this episode, Christy shares simple coping tools you can do with your child — not lectures, not fixing, not “calm down” energy — but practical nervous-system supports that create safety, connection, and regulation for both of you. These tools are especially helpful for parents navigating high-conflict co-parenting, post-separation abuse, or emotional manipulation from the other parent. What You’ll Learn Why kids feel narcissistic chaos in their bodies before they can explain it How to help your child regulate without talking badly about the other parent Simple nervous-system tools you can do together Why regulating yourself first is the most powerful parenting move How repair builds more safety than perfection ever could Your Next Step in Healing If you’re trying to support your child while also holding yourself together in a high-conflict co-parenting dynamic, you don’t have to do this alone. I offer 1:1 coaching and somatic support to help you regulate your nervous system, set grounded boundaries, and show up as the calm anchor your child needs — even when the other parent creates chaos. 👉 Transformational Coaching Monthly https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Additional Support & Resources Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts (for high-conflict communication): 00:00): Hello, hello Queens. It's your other queen. Are we queening today? Are we full of queen energy? Good. I have got a special episode for you today that actually one of my clients asked if I would do a podcast dedicated to this. And when you guys want me to do something, I say how, hi, because I'm here for you baby. Alright. In all seriousness, if you are co-parenting with a narcissist, your child is likely absorbing stress that they do not have language for yet, maybe depending on their age, even if they're teens though, it's hard to navigate this stuff as an adult, let alone a teenager or a child, right? So in this episode, I am sharing coping tools you can do with your child, not lectures, not fixing, not calm down energy, which of course I don't want that, right? But simple nervous system tools that build safety together. (01:01) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christy wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dried ice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:59) Okay? So when a narcissist creates chaos, which they do, kids feel it in their bodies first. They may not say I'm dysregulated, but they say it with meltdowns, withdrawal, irritability, stomach aches. And here's the part I want you to hear. Clearly, your child does not need you to explain the narcissist. They need you to help their body feel safe with you. And I say this to a lot of my clients, I've said it on here, one of your best weapons against the narcissist is being an amazing role model, a calm energy, the peace for your child, no matter what the narcissist is doing, no matter how your child is acting toward you, that's another episode, right? I'm not saying you don't discipline your child and guide them and lead them and teach them, but you stay calm, peaceful energy, right? It's a hard job, but someone's got to do it and it ain't the narc. (03:04) So today, these are tools you can do together side by side that help your child regulate and it helps you stay grounded too. So it two birds with one stone baby. Okay? So tool number one, name what you see without fixing. So instead of you are okay, which that's such a common thing I feel like even in my own upbringing, which is fine, love you, mama, but even generationally, that's something, you're fine. You're okay. And I'm not what we're talking about, but saying, you're okay, it's not a big deal. Instead of that try, I see your shoulders are really tense or looks like something feels heavy right now, then pause. This tells your child, my experience makes sense, right? They know they're feeling off. They may not really think it through as much, but I think saying your shoulders are, you look like something's weighing on you, however you want to put that in

Triggered by a narcissist? In today’s 5-minute reset, I’m giving you the exact process to stop the spiral, calm your nervous system, and shut down the bait before you get pulled into the chaos. If you freeze, overthink, or feel your body react instantly when they say something snarky, passive-aggressive, or manipulative — this quick reset will help you stay grounded, clear, and in your power. In this episode, you’ll learn: What’s really happening in your body when a narcissist triggers you The fastest way to interrupt the emotional hijack A simple somatic grounding tool you can use anytime, anywhere How to shift from reacting → responding Why staying calm is your strongest boundary Take five minutes with me today. Your nervous system will thank you. 💛 Your Next Step in Healing If this episode resonated, your next level of support is here: ✨ Transformational Coaching (1:1 Support) Private, deep healing containers for women rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. Release the trauma patterns, regulate your nervous system, and reclaim your peace. Monthly or 3-Month Deep-Dive options: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Copy-Paste Peace Scripts (Most Popular!) Struggling with what to text back? Get clear, firm, emotionally safe responses you can use immediately with toxic or narcissistic people. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course A self-paced program to help you set, hold, and ENFORCE boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.co/empowered-boundaries Free Resources ✨ Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ 30-Day Toxic Relationship Declutter https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter ✨ Free Meditation for Instant Calm https://christyjade.ck.page/insider ✨ Abuse Recovery Affirmations https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations Join the Community Connect with women healing alongside you: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five. Your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you queens. Have you ever felt that sting in your body? When the narcissist tries to bait you today, we're going to do a five minute reset to shut down that reaction. So their chaos doesn't get to run your nervous system anymore. You in? Alright, so you know when the narcissist throws bait, they love to do it right? The snarky text, the guilt trip, the twist of the truth. Familiar with that one? Yeah. Your body reacts before your brain even has time to catch up, right? There's that spike in your chest, the heat behind your eyes and your head like you just are so frustrated, angry, confused, and then you can even get the urge to fire back. (01:06) Or maybe you have fired back. That's not you being too much or sensitive. It is your nervous system trying to protect you from their fire, right? Their chaos. So today we're going to do a five minute reset that helps you stay unbeatable no matter what they throw at you, right? You get to be in control. So first we're going to step one for, this is the name it Tam it Body check. So you can say out loud like me because I'm a loud mouth, I like to say everything out loud. All my thoughts say out loud or just silently to yourself. My body is reacting, but I'm safe in this moment. And then observe and somatic healing. We do a lot of observing. So observe, where is the tightness? Where is that heat? Where did your breath go? And you're not fixing anything. You are locating the activation. (02:06) And the moment you name it, the amygdala chills out by about 30%. Isn't that amazing? I love that. So that's one of the tools you're getting, I think five today. So step two, the stone spine posture shift. So this one stops the spiraling really fast. So you can sit or stand tall and imagine a stone column running up your spine. Ancient but sexy. That's weird. Why did I just call it column sexy? I don't know. Ancient. I didn't want it to feel ancient. I wanted it to just be golden and unbreakable and heavy in a good way. Grounded. So imagine that going up your spine and say, I am rooted. I am not moving with their chaos. You're unshakeable. Okay? And your body then receives the signal. We don't chase the bait. No, no, we don't defend. We don't perform and we don't sink ourselves to their level. (03:15) Okay, step three, the four, two exhale drop. So we do a lot of breath work in working with me, right? My clients, we're going to practice a little one. You inhale for four through the nose and then you exhale for two seconds longer than the inhale could just be four, six, but this is what it's called. So inhale through the nose. Four, you're exhaling. Six seconds, you're expelling. And why does that work? Because the longer exhales actually flip your body from flight or fight, fi

In this episode: Narcissists use “baiting” to pull you into reactions, defensiveness, or emotional chaos. Today you’ll learn the three most common types of bait they use—and the simple, powerful Pause, Pivot, Protect method to keep yourself grounded, calm, and unhooked. You’ll walk away with practical responses, somatic regulation tools, and a clearer understanding of how to protect your peace in conversations, texts, and co-parenting dynamics.Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching + Somatic Healing For survivors navigating high-conflict co-parenting, emotional chaos, or holiday-triggered anxiety, get personalized support, strategy, and nervous system regulation tools. 1-Month Private Coaching https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 GREY ROCK METHOD EPISODE: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-r2z4f-1365d55 Email me! [email protected] Speaker 1 (00:04): Hello? Hello. Let me check my audio real quick. Let me check it. This is going to be not the best maybe recording we ever had. However, it'll be good content. I have all sorts of fun stuff. I have a bathroom remodel where they found some extensive mold, not black mold. They're going to be able to take care of it, but it's been quite a little journey. So happy holidays. Happy holidays. My house is going to be in, well, not my house, but my master bath. We're not even sleeping in there. It's just so much demolition and bleach and dust. So I'm currently recording in the basement away from the noise. Hopefully you don't hear any of it. And it's been so crazy. I literally forgot to do my podcast last night. I usually record on Monday nights and then post Tuesday morning. But here we are. (01:05) Here we are on Tuesday and you guys don't have a podcast, so let's go. So we're not going to have the intro music, all the fun. We're just going to get straight to it today. And I was sitting thinking about what a lot of my clients, what they say to me, what they're like, oh, I wish I could just, whatever. And a huge one recently has been, they know they're not supposed to take the bait. They know they're not supposed to. They know the narcissist wants them to react, but it's really just hard in the moment. So we're going to address that, talking about not taking the bait and how to stay unshakeable when the narcissist tries to hook you. Right? Okay, so if you don't know, you're on here, but I'm Christie Jade, host of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery podcast, and we're going to dive into one of the most powerful skills you can master on your healing journey, not taking the bait. (02:09) And if you've been following me, I say it all the time, don't take the bait. Don't take the bait. I really am considering getting T-shirts just as a little fun mantra for us to rock bright pink gold. What do you think? Tell me. And my Facebook group, by the way, go join my Facebook group. If you're not part of it, it's always in the show notes. It's free and it is private. We like that privacy part, okay? But when you stop reacting, you stop feeding that chaos. And when you stop feeding the chaos, the narcissist loses their favorite thing in the world, their power. And that's part of my goal. Look, my big goal is to live peacefully. But gosh, if I have to deal with a narcissist, one of my favorite things is to get, help them get rid of their power. Okay? So first name the game baiting is a strategy. (03:09) So if you've ever wondered why do they always know exactly what to say to set me off, this is not by accident. This is not just something they're doing without knowing it. And they will always manipulate and say, I didn't mean it. My intention wasn't that blah, blah, blah, right? Narcissist ba. Because your reaction is actually their reward, your spark, your emotion. They love to get emotion out of you, your energy. They love to drain your energy. It's like a little crispy snack that they're after. And you don't want to be their snack, right? So if you don't bite, they don't eat. Maybe we should have that as a tagline. Don't take the bait. If you don't bite, they don't eat. So when you can see their comment, their text, whatever, in conversation as bait, just knowing, and it takes some training in the mind, but as not truth, you instantly gain the power. (04:14) You're like, you know what they're doing. And it does, I promise. It becomes like second nature, it becomes a scie

Episode Summary If the narcissist is gone but your thoughts are still stuck on replay, you are not alone. After narcissistic abuse, your nervous system can stay stuck in hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, and mental loops — even long after the relationship ends. In this Thrive in 5, Christy Jade guides you through a fast, somatic reset you can use any time those obsessive thoughts flare up. You'll learn how to interrupt the loop, ground your nervous system, and bring your mind back into the present moment where you are safe. These tools take less than a minute and help retrain your brain to stop reacting as if the narcissist is still in your life. Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching + Somatic Healing For survivors navigating intrusive thoughts, trauma bonds, co-parenting chaos, or emotional aftershocks of narcissistic abuse, get personalized support, strategy, and nervous system regulation tools. 1-Month Private Coaching https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you, you guys. I'm in my basement, I'm in my pajamas, no makeup, hair, freshly washed and air dried, and we're ready to go. Hopefully you can hear me okay. So yes, we're doing a little video today. I'm proud. I'm trying out my old way where I used to do video too with my fuzzy pink mike. Ooh, matches my outfit. I feel like I'm like a candy cane over here if you can see me and that's something special. If not, it's something special. All right, so today we are doing a Thrive in five related to Tuesday's episode, which is why you're still thinking about the narcissist 24 7. If you have not watched that episode, go check it out. (01:08) Today we're doing a somatic reset for when you can't stop thinking about them. So first of all, you are not broken if you're still thinking about them. I know it's not fun, but even when narcissists are outside of our life or if we're no contact or we've pulled back, whatever, if your co-parenting, your nervous system is still unwinding from the chaos, the intensity and the constant emotional curve balls, right? So today I'm going to give you five somatic tools that you can use in the moment your mind starts looping. Okay? Alright. Number one, the thought to body check-in. So when a thought pops up, one of those, questioning yourself, questioning why something happened. Just agitation, anything that puts your nervous system into that like not okay mode. Notice where specifically am I feeling this in my body? Is it tension in the chest? Is it a knot in your throat? (02:23) Is it a sick stomach, butterfly? Kind of not in a good way. Feeling in the stomach, locating the sensation shifts you out of the story and into the present moment into reality. And the first step is breaking that loop. The second we're going to talk about a jaw and tongue release, and this is like an instant deescalation. So drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth. A lot of times it's held up there, you don't even notice, right? Drop it all the way down. Don't even let the tip, the tip off and we'll try to hang onto to the back of your teeth. That's called trauma, baby. You got trauma mouth. Alright, we're going to release the tongue all the way. Unc unclench your jaw. Let it relax. Look, I'm doing it now. You can't understand me. Then gently open and close it two to three times. Then let out a verbal sigh. Okay? So open, I'm going to do it and if you can see, it's going to be the best thing you ever saw today. All right, gently open and close three times. So go. (03:49) I know that was not my best look, it's not going to be yours either, but here we are. Okay. This though tells your brain the danger is not here anymore. You're out of danger and your thoughts soften almost immediately. If you got to go for a round two, do it. But one round of that, you should notice an immediate difference. Okay? Number three, the squeeze and melt pattern. Interrupt. If you've been in any of my yoga classes, anything like that, I love a good melt session. So make gentle fists. Squeeze your hands, your arms or your legs. I generally like to do hands and arms and you squeeze them for five seconds, like Mississippi seconds, not 1, 2, 3, 4,

Episode Summary If the narcissist is no longer in your life but your mind still won’t let them go — replaying memories, overanalyzing past conversations, or bracing for a blow that isn’t coming — you are not alone. Obsessive thinking after narcissistic abuse is a normal trauma response, not a sign that you miss them or that something is wrong with you. In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down exactly why your brain keeps looping back to the narcissist 24/7, what your nervous system is trying to protect you from, and how trauma bonds + hypervigilance get wired into your body. You’ll learn the steps to interrupt the loop, calm your system, and finally start reclaiming your peace and mental space. This is your guide to taking your mind back — one breath, one shift, one moment of safety at a time. Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching + Somatic Healing For survivors navigating high-conflict co-parenting, emotional chaos, or holiday-triggered anxiety, get personalized support, strategy, and nervous system regulation tools. 1-Month Private Coaching https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Girl, if the narcissist is long gone, but your brain is still acting like they're standing in your kitchen judging the way you slice strawberries. This episode is for you because today we're talking about why your mind won't shut up about them, even though you know they're toxic, they're gone, they're blocked, whatever, and hopefully living their best, irrelevant life. Alright, let's get your peace and your brain back online. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:01) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. All right, Queens, welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. It's Christy Jade, your coach, your hype woman, your peace protecting partner, most importantly. And today we are going deep into one of the biggest things I hear from survivors. Christie, why am I still thinking about them all the time? I don't even want to. You are not crazy. You're not weak. I'm going to repeat that again. You are not weak. You are not stuck in the past. Even your brain is literally doing exactly what it was trained to do under trauma. (02:02) Today, you're going to understand why this happens. And more importantly, how to stop the obsessive loop so you can reclaim that big, beautiful queen brain of yours. Alright? So the truth that you have never really been told here is the wildest part. Your brain isn't thinking about the narcissist, it's thinking about danger. But because the narcissist was the danger, your brain glued the two together. So during the narcissistic abuse, your nervous system learns, if I don't predict their behavior, I might get hurt. If I don't stay hyper aware, I won't see the next explosion coming. Or if I miss a signal, chaos will hit. So your brain starts scanning, monitoring, remembering, analyzing. Also, you can, it's trying to help you out, sister, okay? But guess what? Your nervous system doesn't just magically unlearn that pattern just because the narcissist is gone. It's like firing a horrible employee. (03:14) But your security alarm still go off every time the wind blows, right? The thread is gone, but the wiring is still on. It's still there. All right? So the three reasons your brain won't let go first, your body is still in survival mode. So hyper vigilance is actually a physical state, not an intellectual decision. So even if you know the narcissist is gone, your nervous system, your body basically has not caught up with that yet. Okay? Two, your brain got addicted to predicting the unpr

Episode Summary If Thanksgiving brings up anxiety, dread, or that tight feeling in your chest because a toxic or narcissistic family member might be there… you are not alone. Holiday gatherings can activate old wounds, emotional landmines, and survival instincts you didn’t ask for. In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down exactly how to stay grounded, calm, and in your power — even if the room is dripping with passive-aggressive comments, guilt trips, or classic narcissistic behavior. You’ll learn how to prepare your energy ahead of time, protect your emotional space in the moment, and end the night without absorbing anyone’s chaos. This is your 5-Step Sanity Saver for the holidays. Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching + Somatic Healing For survivors navigating high-conflict co-parenting, emotional chaos, or holiday-triggered anxiety, get personalized support, strategy, and nervous system regulation tools. 1-Month Private Coaching https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello Queens. This is your Thrive in five, a special episode for the holidays coming up. Whether it's Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, whatever you are celebrating, the narc, I'm sure will not want you to be happy. So they are going to cause you distress in whatever way they can. We know that's true. If you haven't listened to Monday's episode, I posted a little early this week because of the holiday. Make sure to check that out. That is more specific to even helping if they're trying to change plans and whatever. And you can use some of these tips for that situation. But also these tips for if there is someone at the place you're going to, if you co-parent, maybe you parallel parent and they're going to be there, or maybe it's just a toxic family member, whatever it is. I got you covered for this holiday piece. (00:52) Reset. So Thanksgiving is supposed to be this feeling of warmth, grounding, connectedness. But when there's a narcissist or any toxic person in the mix, your nervous system is already on guard before the Turkey even hits that table. Queen, we know that, right? You go in like, oh gosh, I'm going to have to deal with this. And you already go in stressed out. So I'm going to give you some five steps, sanity, savers for the holiday season. Number one, pre decide your energy. This is where people don't like, always love this. But you get to make choices and decide. So before you walk in to whatever situation, or even if you're answering a text about your ex trying to change plans, you choose the vibe you're going to bring into that conversation, into that room. You're going to bring what? Anybody? Anybody? Yes. The one in the crown. (01:57) Good, yes. Calm, neutral, and unshakeable. Okay? No one gets to hijack that. Number two, set your internal boundary. So a simple mindset shift, like their behavior is about them. My piece is about me. It keeps their chaos out of your body. So really differentiate. I like to zoom out. I'm very visual. If you're a visual person, this will help kind of having a zoomed out observation kind of mode going on where you're picturing you and them, your separate entities, they have a bunch of dark, crazy, chaotic energy that they can bring all they want you are going to envision. You are in a golden globe of calm and joy, and you're not going to let their dark energy penetrate yours. So if you're visual, that'll help. If not, just think in your mind, their behaviors about them. My piece is about me, and if you have a child, you're a child as well. (03:02) Alright, number three, keep a grounding anchor nearby. This could be a bracelet, a ring, a cold drink, something you can touch to reset your nervous system. When tension rises. I prefer a bracelet. I don't know why. Just like that. And I don't really need that hack anymore. But when I was first going through a lot of toxicity separation and I would start to get in my head, or if I had to be around the person, I would use that. I liked the kind of just moving that bracelet around, fidgeting with it, whatever, and kind of just focusing on that and breathing and getting through it. So anchoring on something tangible that you can touch to just kind of reset your nervous system. Number four, take micro breaks. You're allowed to step out, step outside, go to the bathroom, take some breaths, pretend

Episode Summary Thanksgiving with a narcissistic co-parent can feel like a minefield of last-minute schedule changes, emotional manipulation, and attempts to destabilize your peace. In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down exactly how to stay calm, stick to the plan, support your kids, and shut down the holiday chaos narcissists love to create. You’ll learn the top manipulation tactics used during Thanksgiving, how to respond without feeding the drama, and how to regulate your nervous system when the co-parent tries to throw you off balance. Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching + Somatic Healing For survivors navigating high-conflict co-parenting, emotional chaos, or holiday-triggered anxiety, get personalized support, strategy, and nervous system regulation tools. 1-Month Private Coaching https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly What You’ll Learn This Episode • Why narcissistic co-parents create chaos around holidays • The most common Thanksgiving manipulation tactics • Scripts for shutting down last-minute changes and guilt trips • How to keep the kids emotionally safe during the holiday • A 60-second somatic grounding tool you can use anywhere • How to stay centered even when the co-parent is unpredictable Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): If Thanksgiving with your narcissistic co-parent feels like waiting for a bomb to go off the last minute schedule changes, the guilt trips, just the chaos in general, this episode is your comb before the storm plan. I'm going to give you the exact tools to help you keep your peace, your power, and those little kiddos protected no matter what. They try this holiday, have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:00) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. Hello, gorgeous. It's Christie. And today we are diving into the biggest stress point for so many of my listeners around this time of year Thanksgiving with a narcissistic. They come out when it is holiday season, so Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, all the major holidays around here. It'll be kind of relevant to all of them, but we'll definitely do another episode as Christmas and Hanukkah approach. But listen, the Turkey isn't the only thing that gets roasted this time of year. So do your nerves if you've got a narc in your life, am I ? (02:01) Am I ? See what I did there? Al, so every November I get that he changed the pickup time again. He wants to switch days without asking. He's using the holiday to get to me. He's guilt tripping the kids about who they love more. This all comes up because it's holiday time, So if this is you, you are not alone, you're not crazy, and you are not powerless. Today we are going to break down how to handle the last minute chaos, the emotional manipulation, and the holiday drama that narcissistic co-parents love to create without sacrificing your mental health or your peace. So let's get into it. So why do narcissists love the holiday drama? If you've noticed that the narcissist to co-parent gets worse around Thanksgiving, you are not imagining that. See the holidays amplify the things narcissists crave most. Are you ready? What do we know They love Attention. (03:07) Yes. Control power. Double up a stage to play the victim or the hero and opportunities to create conflict. Thanksgiving gives them the perfect setup for the manipulative behavior because it has all of these parts. It's got schedules, expectations, family dynamics, your kids' emotions, traditions, logistics and deadlines. So these are tools in their little crappy toolbox and they create chaos to throw you off those schedules, those expectations they know you

Episode Summary If you’re stuck in obsessive or intrusive thoughts after dealing with a narcissist, you’re not broken — your nervous system is reacting to past trauma and ongoing triggers. In this short somatic episode, you’ll learn a simple 90-second reset that interrupts the mental loop, calms your body, and brings you back into the present. Designed specifically for survivors who can’t fully go no contact or who are dealing with co-parenting, post-separation abuse, or unpredictable communication. What You’ll Learn Why narcissist-triggered thoughts become obsessive How trauma-bond withdrawal and hypervigilance fuel spirals The 90-second grounding method that stops the loop A fast orienting technique that pulls you out of overthinking How to reduce reactivity and calm your nervous system in real time Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching & Somatic Healing 1-Month Private Coaching (Nervous System Reset & Support) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching (Deep Healing + Identity Rebuild) Weekly sessions + Voxer support. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Empowered Boundaries Course 10 video modules + meditation bundle. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Paid Resource: Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Instant responses that stop panic and overthinking. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you Queen. If you're brain has been running like a hamster on Red Bull since Tuesday's episode, today's Thrive in five is your reset button. And if you did not listen to Tuesday's episode, you may want to also go listen to that, that goes into this way deeper and we'll be very, very helpful to you. Alright, so today though, we have a mini practice that takes under five minutes. So no excuses why you can't use it. And it uses the same loop breaking tools from the full episode Tuesday, but it's condensed into a little tiny, repeatable nervous system ritual you can use. Anytime those thoughts start spiraling. Okay, so let's get you back into your peace bubble. Alright, so step one, the statement that stops the spiral. Okay, say this out loud or in your mind, I'm a big speaker, but you know that I have a podcast, I like to talk out loud. Alright? But you can say it in your mind if you'd like repeat after me. This thought is not a warning, it's a leftover survival response. (01:34) So this is a great episode by the way, to save. So you have this and or also write this down in a journal on a sticky note. But with this specific sentence statement, you're letting your brain know this is old danger, not now. Our body is holding something onto something that it feels is reality. Okay? So we're kind of rewiring here. Step two, this is the 92nd reset. So you can place your hand on your heart and you're going to inhale through the nose for four seconds. Practice if you'd like 4, 3, 2, 1, then exhale, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And you repeat this for a full minute and a half, okay? And this lengthened exhale tells your nervous system we are safe. Stand down, stand down, everybody, we are safe. Okay, now step three, the orienting practice. If you've been following me, you may have heard of this already, but we're stacking this alongside the breathing and the statement, right? (02:56) So this is about 30 seconds. You're going to look around and name five things that you can see. Okay? You're going to check out, oh, that's me in the mirror. I have a mirror in my room. There I am, boom, looking like a queen. My ballerina statue, a picture of me and my husband. Makes my heart all warm and fuzzy. My pineapple pillow. Who else likes pineapples? And let's see what else we got my palm tree painting. So look around for five items in your room. It could even just be your wall and you're just looking at the texture. Whatever is going to pull you into the present moment, your safety present moment, right? So step four, stop the future fantasy. So when your brain jumps to what if they use this line, because I know we do that cycling in our brains. What if they do this? What if they do that? What if they say this? You've got to be able to know you can handle it and you are going to repeat after me. Of course you can write this down, but we're just practicing. We're saying it out loud. We're in our mind because it helps. Alright, I'll handle it if it happens. (04:20) Right now I'm here. This ends the mental rehearsal. Your system is stuck in. And step five, the post contact detox, right? Because you know when you have contact with them, you need to

Episode Summary If your mind keeps replaying every conversation, argument, or manipulation, you’re not broken — your nervous system is stuck in protection mode. In this episode, Christy Jade explains why obsessive thoughts happen after narcissistic abuse and the exact steps to interrupt the loop so you can finally reclaim your mental space. If you feel mentally hijacked, constantly analyzing them, or exhausted from thoughts you don’t want, this episode will show you how to break the cycle and come back to yourself. What You’ll Learn Why obsessive thinking is a normal trauma response How trauma bonding and hypervigilance keep the loop alive What your brain is trying to protect you from How to interrupt intrusive thoughts without relying on willpower Somatic tools to regulate your nervous system How to restore clarity and stop overthinking Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching and Somatic Healing For survivors who are stuck in loops, overwhelmed, or ready to finally rebuild peace and self-trust with real support and structure. 1-Month Coaching (Private Support & Nervous System Reset) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Coaching (Deep Healing, Identity Rebuild, Full Transformation) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Paid Resource: Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts If overthinking or panic about how to respond is feeding your mental spiral, these scripts stop it instantly. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course 10 video modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Mama, if you've tried journaling, blocking, deleting, praying, meditating, and you still cannot stop thinking about the narcissist, especially when you can't go no contact because of the kids, court, family, or finances, this episode is going to be a little lifeline for you. Okay? I'm going to break down why your brain won't let go, and the steps to stop the obsessive thoughts. Calm that cute little nervous system of yours and reclaim your peace. Remember your peace bubble. You know about that? Yeah. We want to get your peace bubble on, okay? Even if you're still in contact like frequently. Okay, here we go. (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) All right, Queens, let's go there. Alright, you're not obsessed, you're not weak, you're not crazy. Well, maybe a little crazy, but the good crazy, like my kind of crazy. I like your crazy. Okay, alright. Your brain is actually doing exactly what a brain does when it's been trapped in a cycle of trauma plus unpredictability. Okay? So here's what's happening. We're going to do the queen breakdown. Number one, the threat detector part of your brain. It's still on patrol, it's still out there with its shield, with its sword, it's ready. So when you have to share a child, a house, a calendar school event, your brain is scanning, what will their mood be like today? Will they explode? Will they pull something? This is hypervigilance, and it's not like your character flaw, it's just survival mode, what you've been conditioned to do. Number two, your nervous system is addicted to the pattern, so it's not addicted to them. (02:51) This is a misconception. You're not really addicted to them. You have been, again, kind of conditioned to be addicted to the cycle, the anticipation, the crash, the tiny breadcrumbs of calm that can happen here and there. Your body learned to stay ready. So that leads us to number three, this lack of closure that keeps that loop spinning, right? That addictive loop. So narcissists don't give real endings. They don't give apologies, especially legit ones. They might really fake it. They don't give ownership accountability, and they sure as hell don't give the truth. So your brain keeps searching for what it never got and it is still not getting. Number four, if you cannot go no contact, that loop resets every

Episode Summary If your partner is healing from narcissistic abuse and you want to support her without triggering past trauma, this episode gives you the essential steps to show up as the safe, steady partner she needs. Today, I’m breaking down what survivors carry into new relationships, the communication shifts that help her feel secure, and the practical ways to be a grounded, supportive partner — especially if her past involved narcissistic or toxic relationships. What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why loving a survivor can feel different (and why it’s not your fault) The nervous system patterns survivors often bring into new relationships How the wrong type of “space” can trigger abandonment fears The power of time-stamped reassurance (and how to use it) Validation vs. problem-solving — and why survivors need both in the right order What NOT to do when she shuts down, spirals, or becomes hypervigilant How healthy, steady love rewires her sense of safety Your Next Step in Healing If this episode helped you understand your partner — or helped you feel seen in your own healing — and you want deeper support, I offer private 1:1 coaching to help women rebuild emotional safety, boundaries, peace, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse. You’re not meant to navigate this alone. You deserve support built for your nervous system and your season of healing. Work With Christy Monthly Coaching and Somatic Healing A powerful month of private support to help you break patterns, rebuild self-trust, regulate your nervous system, and make real movement in your healing. Includes: weekly 1:1 sessions, tailored tools, and coaching support between calls. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Quarterly Coaching and Somatic Healing Three months of deep transformation designed to help you rise, rebuild, and create lasting internal safety. Includes: weekly 1:1 sessions + unlimited Voxer support between calls for ongoing guidance, integration, and nervous system co-regulation. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ "Copy.Paste.Peace." Scripts Get the exact boundary, communication, and nervous-system-safe scripts you need for co-parenting, texting, conflict, and more. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Free Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide Quick-reference boundary scripts, grounding tools, and communication lines you can use today. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Private Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse in a safe, supportive space. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Listener Request If you want a Part 2 specifically for partners — or an episode on how women can learn to receive healthy love after abuse — send me a message and let me know. I’d love to create exactly what you need. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello. This episode is for Queens and Kings, and if you are a regular listener, it could get some insight into you and what you need for you. But this was created specifically for partners of someone who has gone through narcissistic abuse or just toxic relationships in general, right? So thank you to the listener who wrote in, I don't know if he is a listener, but he knows of me somehow and wrote in asking for information on how to support his partner. That is someone who is recovering and healing from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. So hats off just the fact he wrote in shows so much. So thank you for all the super supportive partners out there, right? So if you are that partner after the narcissist or a friend or someone who just wants to know how to help people who have gone through this abuse, you're the safe one, the steady one, the one that they can finally breathe around or maybe should be able to finally breathe around, right? This episode is for you loving a woman who's healing from toxic relationships. It is different. I don't want to go say it's, oh, it's so much harder, but it is different and there are specific ways to deal with it. Just like everything else. Everyone has their stuff, so I'd like to call it not harder, but different. And if you want to support her without triggering those old wounds, like I said, you're already a rare kind of person. So let's talk about how to show up for them the right way. (01:50) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. S

The 5-Minute Reset to Protect Your Kids From a Narcissistic Parent (Without Escalating Anything) Episode Summary In this Thrive in 5, Christy Jade guides you through a simple five-minute process that helps you protect your child’s emotional safety when dealing with a narcissistic parent. Instead of reacting from fear, conditioning, or pressure to “keep things smooth,” you’ll learn how to regulate your body, detach from the narcissist’s hooks, and model calm authority your child can immediately feel. This micro-training focuses on one small but powerful shift: stabilizing your own nervous system so your child learns emotional safety, discernment, and self-trust — even when the other parent continues their chaos. These five minutes will change how you show up in high-conflict moments. What You’ll Learn How to identify your body’s early alarm signals during narcissistic tension A simple three-breath pattern to instantly calm your nervous system How to shift out of emotional reactivity and into factual, steady communication One-sentence boundary responses that model calm authority for your child A grounding tool your child can use after visits, calls, or stressful interactions How to reinforce safety without escalating the conflict or feeding the drama Your Next Step in Healing 3-Month Coaching: Deep-Dive Transformational Journey Platinum Coaching (3 months – includes Voxer support) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 1-Month Coaching: Focused Support + Somatic Healing Gold Coaching (1 month) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ The Empowered Boundaries Course 10 training modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Free Resource: The Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community Private support for women recovering from narcissistic abuse https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today's Thrive in five is all about your energy and moments when the narcissistic parent creates tension because your kids absorb your state more than the actual words that are spoken, right? They're little sponges. So you're going to teach your child safety by regulating yourself first, right in the moment. So we're going to give you this advice. You can save this if you're feeling it right now. You can use it now, but you can listen to know what to do. And then definitely save this episode. So in the moment you can refer to it and maybe you can even take little notes. But this is definitely a saver episode. Alright, so you're going to set your timer for five minutes, okay? (01:06) Get yourself a little timer. It can be on your phone. One of those cute ones you have in the kitchen, the little kitchen timers. I have one that's a little mushroom. It's so cute. Alright, squirrel. Okay, so five minutes. Minute one, you're going to notice your body's alarm system. So think of that last text demand or surprise request from the narcissistic parent, right? And your body probably does one of these things. The chest tightens, the stomach drop. I know that one. The shoulders rise all the way up to your ears and your breath gets shallow, right? One of those two of those, all of those. So first, in that first minute, notice it name the sensation out loud like my chest feels tight. Naming it out loud equals calming it. Okay? True, true facts, only true facts here on the Queen's show. Alright, minute two, you're going to then slow the pace for your child. (02:11) Kids mirror your nervous system. Okay? Remember that? So you can repeat this three breath pattern and you can do it silently or with your child if they're present to teach them, right? We're role modeling and teaching our children what to do when stress comes about. So one, you're going to inhale through your nose. Two, you're going to hold it for two seconds, and three, you're going to exhale a little longer than that. Inhale. And this tells your child and yourself, we handle intensity with calm, not chaos. Opposite of the lovely narc, right? We want to be opposite. So we handle intensity with calm, not chaos. Minute three, detach from that narcs hook. Okay? Ask yourself, what is the fact here? Not the feeling. I get it. We are all up in our feelings. We're empaths. We're good hearted people, we've been mind ed, right? I get it. (03:22) But we need to role model and give ourselves peace. So what is the fact? So what's an example of that? The feeling is he's trying to control me again and getting triggered. The fact is pickup is at four. That's all I need to address. Whatever he's trying to do, we don't need to worry about. It's good to know that, right? That's very helpful when you're learning about the nar

The Truth Therapists Don’t Tell You: How to Protect Your Kids From a Narcissistic Parent (Without Fueling More Drama) Episode Summary You’ve been told to “keep the peace for the kids.” But what if that advice — the one therapists and co-parenting experts keep repeating — is actually teaching your child to ignore their own intuition? In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down the truth most professionals avoid: you cannot co-parent with a narcissist. You’ll learn how to stop over-accommodating, document every interaction, and teach your child emotional safety without turning them into your confidant. It’s time to protect both your peace and your child’s nervous system while modeling real, grounded strength. If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to “stay civil” while your ex keeps creating chaos, this episode will help you see what real peace looks like — and how to hold it. What You’ll Learn Why traditional co-parenting advice doesn’t work with narcissists How old conditioning keeps you accommodating — and how to stop The importance of documenting every interaction and using third-party apps How to model calm authority and emotional safety for your kids Your Next Step in Healing Empowered Boundaries Course — 10 video modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching and Somatic Healing Choose your transformation level: (1-Month Coaching Package): https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly (3-Month Deep-Dive Coaching Journey): https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): Queens. I am so excited for this episode. This actually was created because a client of mine and I were talking about this topic and she said, you need to make this an episode. So when y'all speak, I listen. Alright, so you've been told to keep the peace for the kids, right? I'm sure many of you have heard that, but what if that very advice, the ones, many therapists and co-parenting experts keep repeating, is actually quietly teaching your child to ignore their own intuition. So today I'm going to break down the real truth about how to protect your kids from a narc co-parent without losing your sanity or ending up back in court. So let's talk about the advice. Most professionals are too afraid to give you. (00:54) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:52) All right, it's Christie Jade. Today's episode might ruffle a few feathers. We're talking about something I see every single week with my clients, the pressure to keep things smooth with a narcissistic co-parent, even when it's slowly destroying your peace and your child's sense of safety. So yes, obviously we don't want to trigger narcissists into pop-off mode, okay? That's not my point here. But here's the hard truth. Most parenting advice out there does not apply when the other parent is a narcissist. You cannot co-parent with someone who loves chaos, control and manipulation. You can parallel parent, and even then you need to do it with strong ass boundaries and rock solid documentation, which I've talked about on this podcast, right? But today we're going to cut through the guilt, the conditioning, and the miss, okay? You're going to walk away knowing what it looks like to protect your child and yourself legally, emotionally, and energetically without ending up back in court. (03:02) But no guarantees. I'm not a lawyer, okay? I am just your favorite little truth telling queen with a mic. But we're going to do our best here together. Okay? So first of all, the lie you've been sold, you've been told that kids need both parents equally. You've been told to be flexible. Take the high road, keep communication fully open. But when one parent is toxic or narcissistic in our cases, the advice is actually dangerous because flexibility becomes a weapon. So keeping the peace becomes another way of saying keep walking on eggshells, and you'll see what I'm saying here. But yes, we want to kee

A 5-Minute Reset for When You Start Blaming Yourself for Their Cheating If your brain keeps going back to “What did I do wrong?” after being cheated on by a narcissist — this mini reset is your lifeline. Today’s Thrive in 5 will help you stop making THEIR betrayal mean something about YOUR worth… and gently bring your power and truth back into your own body again. Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to take your recovery deeper — with personalized support? My 3-Month Platinum Coaching Package is where we walk together through the exact steps to rebuild your identity, restore your self-trust, and protect your peace with rock-solid boundaries — so you never tolerate this level of chaos again. 🔥 This is for the woman who is DONE repeating old patterns. 💻 Apply here → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ More Coaching Options GOLD PACKAGE Coaching + Somatic Healing Session: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint FREE Ways to Connect Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join my Private Facebook Community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade EMAIL: [email protected] TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five. Your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. If your brain keeps going back to what did I do wrong or what's wrong with me, this is your five minute reset today, especially after Tuesday's episode, all about why narcissists cheat, right? And not having any guilt. We're going to get rid of that. So the part of you that is still taking responsibility for their betrayal, can we say that again? There's part of you that is taking responsibility for their betrayal is the part we're going to release right now. Alright, so step one, we need to interrupt that mental chaos going on. So say this out loud or in your head, repeat after me. Their cheating was a reflection of their emptiness, not my worth. (01:20) Right? We are not allowing your brand to keep making their behavior means something about you anymore. We're done. Okay, step two, we're going to ground that nervous system. So let's take a minute here. If you're in a place, you can, if not save this episode or this part for later and place one hand on your chest and one on your belly and you're going to breathe in for four seconds in 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold for two seconds. One, two, and exhale. 4, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Yes. Get it all out. Okay. And as you continue your regular breaths, tell your body, I am safe from their chaos. Now I am safe from their chaos. Now the body needs to receive that message from you, not from them. We want it from them. We want to get validation and answers all the things. No ma'am. We're not going to seek it from them anymore. Alright, now step three, the identity statement. So you are not someone who got cheated on. That's not going to be your identity. You are someone who survived a professional manipulator and more. But we'll keep it just in the basics here, right? That's a very different identity, isn't it? So with that, you can have a mantra of I was never lacking. They were, we're not going to take ownership for their lacking. I was never lacking. They were. (03:23) All right. Step four, the forward focus. When your brain tries to replay the cheating or compare you to someone else, I want you to pause and say, I don't recycle pain to understand it. There's no more recycling that needs to go on here. There is no new meaning hiding in your old wounds. So we stop going backward to decode people who were not operating in real love the way we think of love and we think about connection is not the way a narcissist does. Okay? So trying to decode why or how, I mean I gave you some reasons why on Tuesday's episode, but playing it all back recycling, it is not how Queen's going to spend their life. No. We can learn it and heal from it. So the power is not an analyzing their betrayal. The power is in protecting your heart going forward. (04:48) And that's doing some healing. Yes, but it's also protecting it moving forward. And if that means boundaries, distance, silence, the gray rock method. I'll try to remember to put that episode. If you don't know what the gray rock method is, girl, you're in for a fun one. I have one or two episodes, I forget if it's one or two, I do have at least one episode on the Gray Rock Method, okay? But that's exactly where your peace lives. Next in the protection mode, in the it is time to take care of me mode. This is your queen era. Did you not get the memo queen? Better get used to be called queen. Okay? Hold your power. You've earned it, you have earned it, and you are deserving of peace and of power and you can will get it. You can just show up doing right now, just watching these podcasts or listening to these podcasts, if you want to do some really transformational mind

Why Narcissists Cheat And the 3 Lies They Tell You (So You Keep Blaming Yourself) Today, I’m breaking down the REAL reasons narcissists cheat, how they use infidelity as a weapon, and the 3 most common lies they tell you to keep you confused, self-blaming, and emotionally destabilized. This episode will help you stop internalizing their betrayal — and start turning your power inward. Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral? My Empowered Boundaries Course will walk you step-by-step through how to protect your peace, voice, and energy (without losing your heart). 🎓 10 video modules + meditation bundle + lifetime access 💻 Enroll here → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Book a 1:1 Coaching Session GOLD PACKAGE Coaching + Somatic Healing Session: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint SILVER PACKAGE: SAVE when you purchase a month of sessions: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ PLATINUM PACKAGE: SAVE and BONUSES when you go on a DEEP transformational 3-month journey: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ FREE Ways to Connect! Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join my Private Facebook Community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): You think the pain was that other person, but the real pain was how it made you question your worth. And I want that to end today. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:12) Alright, queen, deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. I love a good halo breath. Before we dive into something a little crazy, it's a hot topic. A lot of questions come in about cheating the lying, why they do it, all sorts of questions. So today we're just going to basically address why they cheat and the three lies they tell you, which there is always manipulation and calculation going into what they do. So we'll cover that as well. So I want to start by saying this clearly directly, very queen styley, right? With the most unshakeable conviction, if a narcissist cheated on you, it had absolutely nothing to do with you not being enough or you being who you are. Okay? Their cheating is not a mirror of your worth. It's actually a mirror of their emptiness. We know narcissists are a big black hole and this is a mirror of that evidence of that. (02:29) So today we're going to break this down in a way that makes you stop blaming or questioning yourself once and for all. We don't have time for that, right? We got queen lives to live. So first of all, let's start with the real reasons that narcissists cheat, right? People cheat that aren't narcissists. That's very true, but we're talking about narcissists today, so we're going to talk about their reasons so they don't cheat because they're unhappy in the relationship and that can be a thing that other people do, but narcissists actually cheat because they are so addicted to supply. You've probably heard me say this a million times, but this is very, very important in this topic. They are addicted to supply, so really envision what that's like, right? You're not like that so you don't get it. But try to imagine a person that is addicted to basically feeding their ego and it's again this big black hole, so it's never truly filled. (03:37) You can't fill it so nobody can news, spoiler alert. So cheating gives them that ego fuel, novelty power, and they love power and even a sense of superiority and those things are what they are chasing. They're not chasing what we chase or desire the connection into intimacy. That came out weird for some reason. Intimacy partnership, they're not seeking those things. They're essentially seeking supply. So another reason, and a lot of women don't talk about this enough, is they cheat to punish you. Say that again. They cheat to punish you, especially when you start getting stronger, and I guarantee if you look back at when you maybe thought maybe they were cheating or there was evidence of cheating, or they give you a timeline, sometimes they'll tell you they have cheated to

Thrive in 5: The Boundary Reframe Every Empath Needs Episode Summary: If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries or worried that saying “no” makes you cold, this quick episode is your reminder that boundaries are not walls — they’re filters. In just five minutes, Christy shares a powerful reframe for empaths who give, love, and feel deeply… sometimes at their own expense. You’ll walk away with a grounding practice and a mindset shift to help you protect your peace without losing your warmth. In This Episode: • Why saying “no” isn’t rejection — it’s redirection • How to stop confusing peacekeeping with people-pleasing • A 3-breath somatic practice to anchor self-respect in your body • The truth about what healthy boundaries really mean for empaths 💖 Your Next Step in Healing Book a 1:1 Coaching Session → GOLD PACKAGE: Coaching and Somatic Healing Session 👉 shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint SILVER PACKAGE: SAVE when you purchase a month of sessions 👉 shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly PLATINUM PACKAGE: TRANSFORM and get BONUSES when you go on a deep 3-month journey 👉 shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly 💌 More Ways to Connect Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community → facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, beautiful souls. Today's Thrive in five is for my tender hearted empaths who have been told they're too nice, too sensitive, or that setting a boundary means you're being called or a biatch, right? Let's reframe that in five minutes flat because it's thriving. Five baby. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen. This one's for you. All right, so here's the truth. Boundaries aren't walls. They are filters. Can we start picturing that queen screen? Ooh, did you like that? I didn't even plan that y'all. That's some true organic criming. Okay, so boundaries don't block love. That's not the point of them. They do. They block drain, right? They don't want to encourage what happens when you are around people who drain you. So if you've ever said yes to keeping the peace only to feel resentful or exhausted later, that's your little baby spirit whispering to you. (01:26) This isn't peace, this is people pleasing, dressed up as kindness. So when you're an empath, which I am, and we don't want to lose that empathy, we don't want to go the other end, but when you are an empath, your instinct is to nurture, to fix. But the twist is real. True. Nurturing needs to include you too. Yes. Right? You cannot pour. This is one of my favorite quotes, by the way, is you cannot pour from an empty cup, right? So you can't pour love from an empty cup and call it compassion. It's just not going to work. It's not going to work for anybody. So here is your reframe for the week. Every time you say no, imagine it instead as a yes to your peace, your purpose, your healing, whatever it's saying yes to for you. So boundaries are not rejection, they are redirection. (02:34) That sounds like something I could say to a class of fifth graders. Boundaries aren't rejection, they're redirection. Everybody now, but your time, your energy and your heart, it's redirecting that toward what truly matters while protecting yourself and your peace. Okay? So what's a little somatic anchor? We can, you can ground the truth in your body through this little exercise. Yay. It's exercise time. All right. Take one hand to your heart and one to your belly. Now, breathe in through that nose. My favorite halo breath, inhale. As you inhale, my peace matters. Exhale and think it's safe to protect my energy in my peace matters out. It's safe to protect my energy, especially before saying yes to something that doesn't feel aligned. Check in with yourself first and remind yourself with this little tiny exercise one more time, and you can write this down on a little sticky note. (03:48) Put it on your mirror, put on your car. Inhale, my peace matters. Exhale it safe to protect my energy. Okay? You're not being cold, you are being clear. That's okay. You're not being a jerk because you're being firm even, okay? Even if you have to get firm, you're not being a jerk. You're being clear. You're being truthful, you're being honest. That doesn't equal cold, that doesn't equal mean. And if you didn't watch or listen to Tuesday's episode, go check that out. We dive deeply into this stuff and you're getting clear, right? The clearer, the more you practice this, basically, the clearer you're going to get on what you want, what you desire, what you need, and that's not selfish. That's about damn time. Okay? Can we quote that? So if this hit home, go back and listen to Tuesday's full episode. If you didn't, it's called Why Empath Struggle with Boundaries and How to fix it Without

Why Empaths Struggle With Boundaries (And How to Fix It Without Becoming ‘Cold’ or ‘Mean’) If you’ve ever tried to set a boundary and instantly felt guilty — this episode is your wake-up call. Christy breaks down why empaths struggle to say no, how childhood conditioning wires you to overgive, and the exact mindset shifts that help you protect your peace without losing your warmth. You’ll learn why your nervous system panics when you speak up, how to rewire that fear, and how to find that sweet spot between kindness and self-abandonment. Because boundaries don’t make you cold — they make your love sustainable. 💖 ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why empaths confuse love with self-sacrifice The “nice girl” myth that keeps women stuck in burnout How to tell if you’re saying yes out of love or fear The nervous-system reason boundaries feel “wrong” How to set limits without guilt, shame, or freezing up 👑 Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral? My Empowered Boundaries Course will walk you step-by-step through how to protect your peace, voice, and energy (without losing your heart). 🎓 10 video modules + meditation bundle + lifetime access 💻 Enroll here → shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Book a 1:1 Coaching Session → GOLD PACKAGE Coaching and Somatic Healing Session :shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint SILVER PACKAGE: SAVE when you purchase a month of sessions: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ PLATINUM PACKAGE: SAVE and BONUSES when you go on a DEEP transformational 3 month journey! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💌 More Ways to Connect Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → Christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community → facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello Queens. Have you ever tried to set a boundary and immediately felt like you were the villain? Let's talk about why that happens and how to protect your peace without losing that beautiful, gorgeous heart of yours. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. (00:58) So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so you've probably been called maybe too sensitive, too nice or too much at some point. I've been called all of those at one point or another in my life. And as an empath, you've learned to read the room, anticipate people's needs, and we love to fix. So maybe fix all the vibes even when it costs you your own piece, right? So here's the truth though. You don't necessarily have a boundaries problem that might be more of a symptom of a different problem, which not everyone talks about, but I'm here to talk about the things we don't talk about. You have a fear of being misunderstood, problem. (02:04) You have a fear of being misunderstood. So deep down, you may not actually be afraid of saying no. You more are afraid of being seen and perceived as someone who does not care or who is not empathetic because you in fact, do care and you don't want to be seen as something you are not. So you're afraid, not of the boundary itself, but what the reaction to the boundary will be. So this episode is your permission slip to finally say, I can be kind and still protect my peace. So let's get into it. Why empaths struggle? So first of all, you were conditioned to prioritize connection over comfort. And that could be from your childhood. You could have earlier family dynamics where you were rewarded for self-sacrifice. So like, oh, you're such a good girl when you help, right? And yes, we want to instill that in our kids, but it could go to an unhealthy level where it's always based around you pushing outside of yourself to do something for others. (03:30) Or you could also have been punished for any self-assertion or calling things out that didn't seem right. Even if you did it in a nice kind way, or when you saw something wasn't fair and you vocalized it, you could have been punished for that, right? So your nervous system equates someone else's comfort with safety due to that. So setting boundaries can feel dangerous in your body associated with if you do set a boundary, if you do cal

5-Minute Reset for When You Feel Pulled Back Into the Trauma Bond If you’ve ever felt that magnetic pull to check their page… or that instant surge of anxiety when their name pops up — this quick episode is for you. In this Thrive in 5, Christy Jade guides you through a powerful five-minute reset to help calm your nervous system, stop the obsessive thoughts, and get your peace back — fast. Because you don’t need to text, check, or fix. You just need to breathe, reset, and remember your crown. 👑 Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to rebuild your peace, power, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse? Explore Christy’s most transformative programs below: 🌸 Empowered Boundaries Course Learn how to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral. Includes 10 video modules, a meditation bundle, and lifetime access. → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💖 1:1 Coaching + Somatic Healing Reclaim your peace, power, and clarity in a private, guided journey with Christy. This is where REAL customized transformation is made! → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💌 Resources for Your Healing Journey ✨ Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ Join the FREE Facebook Community for daily support + sisterhood → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade ✨ Snag your Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts for boundary convos that actually work → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Speaker 1 (00:00): Queen, are you feeling that magnetic pull to check their page, getting that spike of anxiety when their name pops up? Whatever it is, you're not regressing, okay? Your nervous system is just having a little flare up in this Thrivent five, I'm going to walk you through a quick emotional reset to get you back to calm, clear, and crowned. Of course, shine it up. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. (00:45) Alright? You're not crazy for still feeling that pull. Okay? Whether that looks like you're questioning things that happened, wondering if you made a mistake, wondering why you even did this. What did you feeling like guilt around it? All right? What happened to me? How did this happen? How did I even get here? And get there and get everywhere? Okay? Your brain built highways to respond to their chaos and healing means building detours, right? So today we're going to walk one of those detours together, okay? So stop what you're doing. If you're driving, you might want to save this for later and go back to it when you get to your destination, when you have a few minutes of quiet. So if you are in a quiet space, stop what you're doing. Take a breath. All right? Now focus on where your feet are grounded. You can stand up, sit down, but try to ground your feet on whatever floor you have beneath you. Okay? Take one. Slow inhale through your nose, 1, 2, 3, 4, and exhale through your mouth, six counts, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And repeat after me out loud. I am safe in this moment. (02:21) Okay? That one sentence tells your body, we are not in danger anymore or we're not in danger right now. So now move something. You can shake out your hands and your arms. You can roll your shoulders back. I love that. I love a good neck roll. Stretch your neck, side to side. Whatever feels best to you. This is your body reset, queen. It's your time to decide, right? It's time for you to get some decisions in this life. Alright? Now imagine the leftover tension leaving your body with every exhale. Okay? So let's say you're rolling your shoulders, just roll back and every time you reach a certain spot, imagine just releasing tension, releasing that tension out of your body, okay? (03:18) Are actually releasing the chemical residue of the trauma bond, the cortisol, the hyper vigilance you're very familiar with, right? So you can always pause this if you want, feel like you need a little extra or just go through the rest of the exercise with all of us, okay? So you've shaken at your hands, rolled your shoulders, your neck, whatever. Felt good. Now we're going to reframe, okay? So repeat after me again. And if you are someone who is missing this person, this is for you. And if not, we'll get to you. Don't worry. Okay? Missing them doesn't mean I made a mistake. Missing them doesn't mean I made a mistake. You're repeating after me, okay? Now, if you're wondering why you still are getting sucked in by them, why you're still responding, even when you know shouldn't, doesn't mean you want to be with them or you miss them. This can mean that you're still craving the chaos. Okay? So repeat after me. I'm craving the chaos, not the person. Let's make that clear. I'm craving the chaos, not the person. (04:42) Okay? Now, this will be basically for everybody. We're covering everyone here, okay? Because if you

You finally broke free — but why does it still feel so hard to breathe? In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down what no one tells you about life after the trauma bond. If you’ve ever caught yourself craving the chaos, feeling pulled to respond to that text, or getting triggered by their name — even though you know they’re toxic — this one’s for you. You’re not weak. You’re not “going backward.” You’re experiencing what Christy calls the trauma bond hangover — that emotional, mental, and physical crash that happens when your body is detoxing from dysfunction. 👑 Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to rebuild your peace, power, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse? Explore Christy’s most transformative programs below: 🌸 Empowered Boundaries Course Learn how to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral. Includes 10 video modules, a meditation bundle, and lifetime access. → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💖 1:1 Coaching + Somatic Healing Reclaim your peace, power, and clarity in a private, guided journey with Christy. This is where REAL customized transformation is made! → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💌 Resources for Your Healing Journey ✨ Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ Join the FREE Facebook Community for daily support + sisterhood → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade ✨ Snag your Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts for boundary convos that actually work → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ 💬 Episode Highlights Why guilt spikes when a toxic parent gets older or sick The truth about “honoring your parents” — and what that really looks like in abuse recovery How to stop confusing compassion with obligation Nervous system tools to stay grounded when guilt-tripping starts Christy’s personal reflection on balancing empathy with self-care 🩷 Let’s Connect Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ Email me! [email protected] TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Alright, so you finally got out, you blocked, deleted. Maybe you even changed your number. So why does it still feel like you've been hit by a damn emotional freight train? Today we're going to talk about the part no one really warns you about the trauma bond hangover, the weird, awful mix of craving the chaos, feeling that pull to check their page or getting instantly triggered when their name pops up on your phone. I know that one, even when you know they're toxic, your body's still wired to respond like it is life or death. So you're not weak, you're healing from an emotional addiction. So we're going to talk about what is really going on underneath and how to help calm that nervous system so you can finally actually start to feel free. (00:53) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:51) Okay, queen, let's be honest, nobody really talks about this part. Everyone cheers you on when you're finally leaving the narcissist. You did it, you're free. I hated that mofo. But what happens when freedom doesn't just immediately feel peaceful? You may think you're going to get this huge relief and you may get some, but you expected more and it could be years later and you could still be stuck in feeling that lack of peace. So what happens when your brain keeps checking for danger or your body jolts every time you see their name, you're out of the relationship technically, but it still feels like they are living rent free in your damn head. That is the trauma bond hangover. And if you're in it, oh honey, I get it. I have been there. It is not a fun place. It is not a fun carnival and we want to help you get out. (02:42) Okay, so I first, what is the trauma bond hangover? It is what happens when your body is still addicted to the roller coaster even though you've stepped off the ride. That's what we talk about somatic healing that I do with my clients. That's why we do that body work because your body is still stuck. So your brain was trained literally to associate chaos with connection, okay? Every love bomb, every cruel text, every silent treatment created these chemical spikes and crashes all about