NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

Abuse can wreck your motivation during and even after! The 5 second rule helped me and helps many. Here is how to use it in general, and specifically after you have gone through narcissistic abuse. All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations PODCAST: But Still She Thrives: https://christyjade.podbean.com/ I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Speaker 1: (00:00) , is your motivation non-existent after years of abuse? Do you have ideas of who you wanna be but feel paralyzed to start, stay tuned for a trick I learned years ago that helped me drag my big old butt out of bed and finally be the person I wanted to be. Speaker 1: (00:18) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me. Whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:39) After disconnecting from a narcissist, the damage does not end. I felt such confusing emotions and was so overwhelmed that I had no motivation in my body. I literally felt paralyzed to make decisions to get my butt out of bed to the gym, or to put myself out there in relationships. One quote I heard that supports this trick I'm about to share is better done than perfect. This has helped me so much in my journey due to lack of confidence from abuse. I question and still do at times myself all the time. Back then also, depression is a thing and it can come immediately after disconnecting from narcissist. I mean, if you're already not down in the dumps, disconnect from one and it does. It does not help the situation other than getting away from them. But the depression can get worse and just the feeling of chaos in your mind can can be worse. Speaker 1: (02:35) So that will impact the motivation you have in your everyday life, right? So after I disconnected from monarchy, I landed upon motivational speaker and author Mel Robbins. If you don't know her, she's amazing. Go check her out. And she is known for this five second rule. It is simple but effective in a nutshell. Here it is. In her own words. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within five seconds or your brain will kill it. So you start counting backwards to yourself from five. So it's obviously 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. As soon as you hit one, you have to physically push yourself to move. You have to take physical action as you count down from five to one, you'll be distracting your brain from coming up with all the reasons why you either should do something else. If it's like you're gonna go to the gym or you're gonna go eat that healthy salad or whatever. Speaker 1: (03:33) Or in a lot of my case, it was just getting out of my head, right? And physically getting up and getting out of that cycle helped. So I would sometimes take it a step further. If you're really ruminating, get out of the room you're in, even start to clean, get out of the house, pick up the phone, call a friend, but physically do something in another space. Also, counting down from five to one is a starting ritual. It will interrupt old behavior patterns and trigger new ones. So the more you do this, the easier it becomes, right? So i

Feeling like the damage is done and not sure how or if you will ever get that sparkle back? On today's episode, I share 5 ways to build your confidence after the damage of abuse! RELATED LINKS: Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation MY CURRENT OFFERS: All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Feeling like the damage is done and you have no idea how to get your sparkle back, or maybe you never had a chance to sparkle, then this episode is for you. I will give you five ways to rebuild your confidence after any kind of abuse. Speaker 1: (00:17) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'mChristy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:37) All right, so today we're talking about confidence. I have an interesting relationship to confidence. Maybe some of you can relate to this. I was a class clown. I was energetic. I'm loud, I'm outgoing. And I think a lot of people take that as like, oh, she's so confident, right? I will tell you this, I had very low self-esteem in many parts of my life. Maybe not every single one, but many parts of my life growing up. And that can often be a result of living in some sort of abusive environment where you are maybe dismissed or don't feel good enough, or to the deeper level of emotional physical abuse. So it was a just very interesting relationship I had with it. As I've gotten older and gone through therapy, I've developed what we call real confidence, where I'm not cocky, but I've realized I am worthy just like everybody else in this world. Speaker 1: (02:30) So we'll have a whole other episode on confidence in general. But these are five ways to build confidence. So let's dig in. Number one, self-care, no matter what that made you feel about yourself, and maybe they made you feel like you do not deserve to care for yourself or put yourself first, that's bs. So no matter what you feel like you deserve, you have to start prioritizing yourself. That means positive self-talk, giving yourself grace, eating healthier, not gobbling down bottles of wine and brownies. Maybe I did that at one point. , how we treat our bodies completely affects our minds and vice versa, right? So we've gotta do the physical and the mind body parts as well. That is the physical mind, body, spirit. You know what I'm saying? So after I knocked out abusive people out of my life and started working out four times a week, just that alone, I felt like a new person. Speaker 1: (03:28) So if you don't, you feel like you don't have the motivation like that sounds great, Christy. That's cool. I don't have the motivation to work out four days a week. Well, you need to do the five second rule, which will be my next episode. It's a mini episode. I'm actually sneaking a l

Do you feel like your mind body and dang soul are just a wreck after being in a narcissistic abusive situation? Here are 5 ways that helped me recalibrate my nervous system so I could live a life of more joy! They will be total game changers for you, too! Start your day with CONFIDENCE and STABILITY: My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider WORK WITH ME: All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint Journey to Peace Coaching Call and Blueprint 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: She Thrives Transformational Coaching - Monthly 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation Queens of Peace Coaching Program MINUS Voxer Self Paced Boundaries Course: Empowered Boundaries Course My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: #NOTMYSHIT JOURNAL: 5 minutes a day to giving zero effs about the things you shouldn't FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: Quick Morning Meditation 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: DECLUTTER TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS GUIDE Abuse Recovery Affirmations: Affirmations And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Do you feel like your mind, body, and even your dang soul or just a wreck after being in a narcissistic, abusive situation? Stay tuned for five ways to help you recalibrate your nervous system so you can live a life full of more joy. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey Queens, welcome to, but Still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had a disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www dot christy jade, that's christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:36) Let's be honest, just because the abuse has ended doesn't mean the damage is over. Unfortunately. You have to recalibrate, rebalance all the things, which it is possible. We're gonna start today with five ways to get your nervous system rebalanced after narcissistic abuse. So when I got out of my situation, I still felt like I was in this state of constant, almost just preparing for the worst. Like everything was always just tight and stressed out. And so I was either like distracting myself and go, go, go doing the work, overachiever mode, all the things running around, cleaning my house just like this super, super hyper focused energy. Or I was like completely depleted. I felt like there was no in between. And I was like, I need to fix this. I need to get a hold of myself, my brain, my body, everything felt spent. And I was like, I want to get balance. Speaker 1: (02:33) So here are some things I did to recalibrate this. Suck it bad. All right? You know what I'm saying? Okay, number one, this is like basics. We're doing 1 0 1 right here. This is like drinking your water, eating the bright, shiny, colorful foods. I was not eating enough veggies, I'll be honest. I'm just not. When you're stressed out all the time, you tend to not take care of your basic needs, right? And good sleep, which I know it can take time. You might need a little therapy to get some better sleep or pop in one of those lovely hills. Not the hard stuff, okay, I'm talking about some melatonin . Number two, get that vitamin D not in a pill form. Get outside, get your butt outside. Not only is vitamin D good for you, but your brain literally changes when you step out into nature. It is an automatic mood boost. Speaker 1: (03:22) And side note, by the way, if you have kids, you can totally use this. I use it to get my daughter out of her cranky cycle. It's like the first thing I do. If she gets cranky, I'm like, we're

Not trusting yourself to choose wisely? In today's episode, I will discuss the ways to create healthy relationships after narcissistic abuse. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider WORK WITH ME: All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint Journey to Peace Coaching Call and Blueprint 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: She Thrives Transformational Coaching - Monthly 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation Queens of Peace Coaching Program MINUS Voxer Self Paced Boundaries Course: Empowered Boundaries Course My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: #NOTMYSHIT JOURNAL: 5 minutes a day to giving zero effs about the things you shouldn't FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: Quick Morning Meditation 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: DECLUTTER TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS GUIDE Abuse Recovery Affirmations: Affirmations And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Are you worried you'll end up in another toxic relationship in your life? This could be a romantic partner or even a friendship. Today we're gonna talk about 10 ways to have healthy relationships after letting go of toxic people. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? And you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had a disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com , That's christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:36) Okay? Story time for me. When I started to really set boundaries in my life, it was not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well. I had not realized what I had put up with and wondered if I even knew what a normal relationship or close friendship looked like. I had some controlling as$ people in my life, and maybe developed some co-dependency, ugh. But now I have an amazing husband and only awesome, uplifting, supportive friends, and I don't tolerate from anybody. It's so peaceful. So there is hope. Let's dive in. Number one, take the time to heal. That could be meditation. It doesn't have to be an hour long meditation, just a few minutes in the morning to start your day. Yoga, journaling time with just you to sort stuff out. It is a process. It's just really letting your body, your mind, your heart, all that stuff kind of sort through. Speaker 1: (02:34) What the heck just happened. All right. This doesn't mean you can't date or go hang out with new people, but make sure you are carving out time for just you to heal on a weekly basis. Number two, forgive yourself. A lot of us carry guilt after we leave an abusive situation. We're in survival mode while we're in it. And don't evaluate and see things like we do when we finally get out. You may think, hell on earth, did I put up with this? Or how did I let my kids see this? There will be a lot of questioning going on, and that is normal, but you did the best you could with what you knew inside of that relationship. So give yourself grace. You're here now climbing out of an ugly dark hole, and you have to focus on the climb up into the light, not looking back, making it harder on yourself. Speaker 1: (03:20) So be proud of where you are now and let that guilt go. Three, evaluate what you want in a relationship, how you wanna feel. Literally write a list of what you want in a relationship. You are probably never asked this before, so it could take a minute. What do you want? How do you wanna feel? What's a deal breaker for you? Now, what are characteristics you want in a partner? Make it fun. I did this yea

Hey Queens! In today's episode, we will talk about 5 things that helped me heal more quickly in my narcissistic abuse recovery. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade ------- All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint Journey to Peace Coaching Call and Blueprint 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: She Thrives Transformational Coaching - Monthly 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation Queens of Peace Coaching Program MINUS Voxer Self Paced Boundaries Course: My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: #NOTMYSHIT JOURNAL: 5 minutes a day to giving zero effs about the things you shouldn't FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: Quick Morning Meditation 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: DECLUTTER TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS GUIDE Abuse Recovery Affirmations: Affirmations And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok --------------------------------------- TRANSCRIPTION Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello Queens. I'm so excited you are here. Today we're gonna talk about five things to do at the start of your healing from abuse journey. So whether you are in it and trying to claw your way out, or you are kind of on the other side and starting to heal, or you've been on the outside for a little bit, but still feeling like you just have a lot of work to do. These are some of the things, some tips that I myself did at the beginning of my journey and wanna share with you all. Speaker 1: (00:38) Hey friends, welcome to the, but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Speaker 1: (01:31) Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over at bit.ly/firstcoachingcall. I would love to help you. So we're touching on some basic tips today. Sometimes when we're in abusive situations or even after leaving them, we don't really see just how abusive they were or are and just what a huge effect they can have on us. We're so used to having the finger pointed at us, can I get a amen? Can I get a what, what ? That? We sometimes do the same thing to ourselves so we can blame ourselves. Think we aren't worthy, feel hopeless in the end, right? But I have good news. It's not your fault. You're not crazy. You are valuable, you're worthy, you're loved, and there is hope. So when I was still in my abusive situation, it, I just didn't realize it was actually even abuse. Speaker 1: (02:29) Like I wouldn't even say that word. I was kind of in denial about it. Uh, it was kind of all I knew and I thought it was just how life was. It actually took a friend of mine who saw it with her own eyes. It took her letting me know that this was like not normal at all. Her reaction finally shook me into being like, oh, this ain't right, . So it still took years for me to get brave enough to remove this person from my life and a while after that, just to see how deep the damage was. And during the abuse, I felt crazy, right? You're questioning yourself and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. And afterwards, I continued to question myself. That is something that I didn't expect. I kind of, once I got out of the situation, felt relief. Speaker 1: (03:22) But something I realized that could happen was questioning myself, getting guilt and harassed by the abuser, which I eventually totally cut off and then guilted by other people. Okay? And that was tough, and I hope you cannot relate to that, but I know many of you will be able to, and I'm going to do an entire episode on this because this was heart wrenching and like blew my world up when it happened because it felt just so isolating and just I finally felt relief and then immediately was getting guilt from family members, uh, multiple, multiple family members, aka a his enablers, um, told me I was ruining the family. I needed to fix things. And that basically I, I was the problem, right?

Hey Queens! Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade ------- All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint Journey to Peace Coaching Call and Blueprint 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: She Thrives Transformational Coaching - Monthly 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation Queens of Peace Coaching Program MINUS Voxer Self Paced Boundaries Course: My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: #NOTMYSHIT JOURNAL: 5 minutes a day to giving zero effs about the things you shouldn't FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: Quick Morning Meditation 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: DECLUTTER TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS GUIDE Abuse Recovery Affirmations: Affirmations And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok ---------TRANSCRIPT---------- Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello friends. In today's episode, we are going to talk about the actual cycle of abuse and what to do to avoid getting into an abusive relationship again. Speaker 1: (00:14) Hey friends, welcome to the but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy, Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I got you. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over bitly.com/firstcoachingcall. I would love to help you. Speaker 1: (01:23) So first we're gonna talk about the actual cycle of abuse. There is a actual diagram with a cycle. And when I saw this for the first time in my therapy office, many, many moons ago, I felt overwhelmed with emotions because I thought I was kind of crazy. And seeing this diagram made me feel validated and seen and like this is a real thing. And I felt like I kind of had proof now of the cycle. So let's dive into this cycle. Maybe you already know about it, maybe you don't. And you hear this and you're like, that's me. That happened, that happened, that happened. Oh my gosh. And it will be kind of a mind blow for you. I'm here for you, I'm here to support you. Let's go through those stages. I also first want to remind you, an abusive relationship can be not, it doesn't have to be romantic relationship. Speaker 1: (02:16) It, it often is, but it can be a parent, it can be a sibling, it can be a friendship, it can be your Aunt Tilly, it can be a boss, it can be a gerbil. I had a gerbil to bit my nose. Hey, it's a real thing. Okay, so let's get into the cycle of abuse, but keep that in mind because a lot of us who um, have gone through abuse as a child or choose, you know, abusive relationships, there's something in us that may, that may be a pattern. And we choose abusive, friendships, relationships, et cetera, et cetera. So we can kind of somewhat what they say attract. I don't like to put it that way, but we can attract certain types of people or tolerate certain things because we are comfortable and used to them. So let's dig in. The first phase usually is the calm, okay? Speaker 1: (03:02) That's what starts it off. Usually you meet someone and it's that honeymoon feeling. They're calm, they're on their best behavior, and the relationship is relatively calm and it's peaceful. So, you know, this is where you can kind of get tricked. Okay? This is the honeymoon phase, which most relationships go through. The difference is the extremes and what comes after. So after the calm comes the tension building phase. This is where tensions increase. There's lack of communication and the victim starts to feel fearful or second guessing themselves starts to feel somewhat maybe uncomfortable. And then this can lead to an incident. And why is that? Because the abuser, the controller senses that tension. So they're gonna cause the drama and they're going to make the victim pay for having any emotion or any reaction to whatever has caused the tension, right? So the incident can be verbal, it can be emotional, and it can be physical. Speaker 1: (04:07) I want to remind you, physical abuse is not the only type of abuse that is there. I still have clients that come to me and say, well, I, wel

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! Are you technically 'out' of a toxic situation / relationship but not able to fully disconnect or keep getting dragged back in? In today's episode, we will talk about 5 Things Toxic People Do to Win You Back and How to Stay Strong. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider -------- All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint Journey to Peace Coaching Call and Blueprint 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: She Thrives Transformational Coaching - Monthly 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation Queens of Peace Coaching Program MINUS Voxer Self Paced Boundaries Course: Empowered Boundaries Course My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: #NOTMYSHIT JOURNAL: 5 minutes a day to giving zero effs about the things you shouldn't Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok --------------------------------------- TRANSCRIPTION Hello queens, are you technically out of a relationship with a toxic person that could be a spouse? It could be a romantic partner in general friendship. Maybe it's a family member, are you out of that relationship, but not feeling totally disconnected? Maybe they won't let you. Here are five ways abusers keep connected, and how to mitigate them, drawing you back in. All right. So you were an object to them, something that they initially desired. So now they believe you belong to them. Okay. It's you probably know a lot of abusers are possessive over their victims. And they don't want anyone else to have you. They don't want you to move on. So even if you're technically away, they'll still try to have you connected to them in some way, they need that for their own power. Right? It's not about you. I know. No one wants to hear that. But I'm not here to fluff it up, as you know, right. It's not about how special you are. It's about them having control, then validating themselves, then getting admiration and love or any type of googoo and gaga over them and reassurance it's all about them. So don't forget that as we head into going over all of the lovely ways they tried to keep you and what you can do to mitigate that hey friends welcome to the but still she thrives podcast I'm Christie date adoring wife, adoptive mama empowerment coach and Queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you're sick of feeling not good enough questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no. And the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You want to feel confident take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that Venti Mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I want to help you that is what I am here for it is my specialty. And I am giving $20 off your first call for limited time. It's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there. And you can sign up over at bit.ly/first coachingcall. I would love to help you. Okay, so let's dive in number one hoovering. It is just what it sounds like it is vacuuming, you back up in these ways. So first love bombing, okay, so that's one of their go to things. It's, you know, it works on a lot of victims who are empathetic, who are loving and nurturing. Because when they feel love, they give love, right? If you're one of those people, you know, and they can suck you in, by showering you with love with presence with all the good feelings and suck you back in. Part of hoovering can also be this is a tougher one. But feigning crisis, basically, faking a crisis may be really causing a crisis. And that can go as deep and as dark as suicide attempts, or faking suicide attempts can be a tactic. Another is smear campaigns, smear campaigns is when you have gotten away from them. And they have no control over you anymore, you've really released. And so they are going to try to smear your name to other people, they will lie about you, they will expose things about you you didn't want exposed. And this is all in order to suck up all of your time, energy and attention. So the trick, which is a hard thing, and for me in the beginning was very hard for me, because I'm a good person. And let's say with the smear campaign, which actually happened that turned into me being like, like, oh goodness, I have to defend my name right? Like I have to defend my name this stuff isn't true. And that does take up time and energy. So I've gotten

Hey Queens! In a situation with a Narcissist and can't seem to navigate how to handle the situation? If you cannot go no contact with this abusive person, the next best thing is what is called, "The Grey Rock Method" and this episode is dedicated entirely to it. Because it is that good and effective! Make sure to save this episode, as you surely refer back to it. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider -------- I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade --------- GRAB your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok ---------TRANSCRIPT---------- Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello Queens. So you've tried everything from being sticky, sweet, and kind to yelling back at a toxic person in your life. Nothing seems to work at keeping them away or stopping their horrible behaviors. Well, in today's episode, we're going to talk about my second favorite technique to use against the toxic and narcissistic abusers called the Grey Rock Method. My first favorite is No Contact . We talked about that in episode four. If you wanna refer back to that one, if you haven't already, and for this episode, trust me, you're going to want to save it and go back to it again and again. Speaker 1: (00:41) Hey friends, welcome to the But Still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christty, Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say now, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over at Bit.ly/firstcoachingcalll. I would love to help you. Speaker 1: (01:50) So I can say from experience, this is the second most successful tool I used against a narcissist in my life. I will not say it was easy, especially at first, but whoa, the results were amazing and continue to be amazing. So, you know, my favorite tool is called Run the F Away Fast. But if you cannot go no contact, if you have shared custody, maybe it's your boss and you need the job desperately, uh, maybe you have adult children that you can't let go of elderly parents, this one is for you. So what is the Gray Rock method? It is exactly that. A gray rock is boring, right? It blends in with everything. It's just kind of there. Nothing can be as boring as a gray rock. The result is being ignored. So you are engaging in no or very minimal response to the toxic person. Speaker 1: (02:45) Not explaining yourself, not defending yourself, not arguing, just, just not, not taking the bait. And you become boring to them. Eventually, I say eventually and no longer a source of narcissistic supply, right? They always need that supply. And over time when you do this, they are not getting what they literally need from you. They want to argue, they want to have conflict with you. So in a normal relationship, it is normal for you to engage. Let's say you're in conflict, it's normal to engage question to pry even to defend your point of view. All of that is very normal when you're having discussions, maybe arguments and anything like that in normal relationship. But when you do that with a narcissist, you will feel the wrath. Do you know the wrath? I think we're all familiar with the wrath of a narcissist. So all of the things we talked about in the past episodes will come up. Speaker 1: (03:42) The gas lighting, you know, all the, the hoovering, all of those things will come up after you have had conflict with them and they feel out of control. Okay? So this gray rock doesn't come from defeat though, but power, and that's what I love about it. It doesn't come from this just, gosh, I'm so just, ugh, I just can't do this anymor

This week we are circling back to the TOP listened to episode of But Still She Thrives. Sometimes it is good to have a reminder of what toxic people are like and how to keep away and maintain that peace! Grab your free 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation here: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd OTHER FREE FUN: 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy Email : [email protected]

Grab your free 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation here: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd OTHER FREE FUN: 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy Email : [email protected] PODCAST TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Christie Jade. Today we're gonna talk about five ways that you can become an observer of your thoughts so you can grow and heal after abuse. All right, so let's dive in. Number one, this is one of the best ways that you can really become an observer, and what this does is helps you heal because you're able to set yourself, maybe we can view it as a way or outside of your feelings. Sometimes we identify with our feelings saying things such as I'm anxious. And a way to shift that is to think of it more as I am currently having an anxious feeling or anxious thoughts, right? So number one is mindfulness or doing mindful meditations. And that involves sitting quietly and observing your thoughts without judgment. And this can take little practice, but I promise you, you can get there. Speaker 1: (01:09) By practicing mindfulness regularly, you can develop the skill of being an impartial observer. And that when you can really do that, when you can again, take yourself kind of out of being enmeshed with your own feelings, your own thoughts, that can really, really help you heal. So one way to do this is start by focusing on your breath and then gradually expanding your awareness to include thoughts as they arise. And then you notice them without getting caught up in the emotional charge of them, right? Or the content of what the actual thoughts are without going into them deeper with just being with them without judgment. Again, this can take time. This is something I do with my somatic healing. So if you wanna go for a fun journey, um, it's, uh, somatic healing is just amazing. I just did a session with a client today. Speaker 1: (02:15) It was just epic. I love it. It's really amazing work. So you can always look in the show notes on how to work with me. Number two is journaling. If you are a writer like I am, I love writing stuff down. I have diaries from when I was six years old, starting at six all the way through my twenties, and there's some after that too, but I kept them, you know, almost daily for a good chunk of my life. So I'm very familiar with writing and the power of writing. So you can keep a journal to record your thoughts and your feelings that come up. And by writing them down, you externalize those thoughts and Speaker 2: (02:58) Then it makes it easier for some depending. Again, you have to try these things out for yourself and see what you enjoy most. This is all customizable to you, but this can make for a lot of people, make it easier to observe your feelings and your thoughts objectively by writing them down. And then you take the time to reflect on what you've written, noticing any patterns or recurring themes that may come up. This can help you gain insight into your thought patterns and facilitate that healing. Yes, queen, we love to heal. We number three, self-inquiry. So if you want to engage in self-inquiry, you can ask yourself probing questions about your thoughts and your beliefs, right? You kind of go a little deeper, but keeping the emotion out of it, but logically going into a deeper, for example, if you notice a negative thought pattern, ask yourself, well, where is this coming from? Speaker 2: (04:01) Right? Let's say you're like, oh, I couldn't do that. I could never do that. Well, why do you say that? Where's this coming from? And you can keep going down, right? To break it down into more and more. It's kind of like when you think of a 4-year-old child, child saying, well, why? Well, why, well why right? Keeps breaking down further and further. You can do this with yourself to say like, really, how did we get here? How did we get to this thought pattern? Is it true? Is it really your thought pattern? Or is it something, let's say you were taught by your family or society, right? Or some, sometimes when we go through trauma, we cannot believe in ourselves. So it could be a thought pattern that is formed from that. So also something that's helpful is asking, does this thought

COME SHOP my Mary Kay Makeup! YEP that Suburban Mom Shit! https://marykay.com/cjade/ Grab your free 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation here: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd OTHER FREE FUN: 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy Email : [email protected] Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Kristi Jade. Today we're gonna talk about the hot topic of the week, the Super Bowl. Um, obviously you guys know I probably have an opinion about this. I'm gonna talk about my opinion. It is my opinion. This is not fact or the truth or the one answer. Um, but I have some opinions to share about the whole situation with Travis and coach. So stay tuned. Speaker 2: (00:31) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:29) Okay? So if you didn't watch the Super Bowl, uh, at one point Travis Kelsey, um, was up in the coach's face. He kind of chest bumped him and looked very angry. You couldn't hear what he was saying. Um, lip readers did say there was a couple different lip readers. I guess they were professional lip readers, um, that said similar things that he said f-bomb and was, you know, yelling at coach, you know, to put him in. And it was disturbing. It was disturbing enough that a bunch of people were talking about it today. Then we have the other people were saying, like, you know, give the guy a break, you know, he's in the spotlight, this and that. So there's a lot of opinions about it on both sides. There's people saying, oh, you can't this cancel culture. You can't cancel everybody. So here's my opinion on it, and I talk about this obviously in relation to, I, I obviously have a lot of education in this field of abuse. Speaker 1: (02:39) Let me say, I'm not saying this is exactly abuse. I do look at this as kind of abusive behavior. Um, abuse to me is, you know, cruel behavior and that can be emotional, physical, whatever, right? Um, I'm not saying ongoing abuse. I don't know their relationship. Do I know the coach has said he had a really bad temper and they've worked on it? Yes. So it's not like outta blue, he's never had a temper before. Some people dismiss that. So here's another part of it, right? We all grow up in different families, different cultures, and tolerate different things. If you follow me, you know, I don't tolerate any form of abuse, any form of cruel treatment. Do people have moments? Yes, but there's a level to me, um, if you wanna call it a body check, I don't know the definition of body check, but whatever he kind of chest bumped him, got in his physical space and was yelling that to me, I would not tolerate from another human, right? Speaker 1: (03:46) And this is his boss. It's somewhat of an elderly man, um, that he should be respecting, but I don't think he should do it to anyone. Does it add a layer of like, oh, what the? Yeah, like, I mean, if I did that, here's the thing, right? If I did that when I was working in the corporate world, obviously I would get my fired, right? And you could say, oh, well it's football. It's different to an extent, obviously yes, on the field, there's, you know, there's a lot of testosterone and I don't like to excuse testosterone and that we may have differences there, right? People, oh, people on steroids and this and that, okay? I don't, everyone needs to be accountable for their behavior. So that's where my point comes in of, am I even saying he necessarily s

Grab your free 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation here: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd OTHER FREE FUN: 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy Email : [email protected] PODCAST TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Christy Jade. Today we're gonna talk about five different ways to heal through visualization. I'm a very visual person, so this is one of my favorite ways. I love all the energy work, all the visuals. So fun. So stick around and we will talk about the details of five of the ways. There are so many out there, but these are five of my favorite. Speaker 2: (00:27) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:25) All right, so let's just dive into the five, not the only five, but some of the ways that you can heal through your visualization. Number one, very common, you'll see a lot of these on YouTube and just all the meditation apps, guided imagery for relaxation. So you know, after you've been through abuse, after you've been through anything traumatic, obviously you've, you're trying to reset that nervous system. So just getting relaxed first and foremost is really important. So practice guided imagery by creating a mental image of a peaceful or serene place. My go-to is the beach. I just, when I'm at the beach, I get automatically relaxed and I really try to take the senses in as well. So I'm visualizing, but also trying to imagine that salty air, maybe some squawking, seagulls, . Um, and imagine every detail, the colors that get really focused. So if you're imagining the waves in front of you, really focus on what color, is it a nice teal color? Speaker 1: (02:34) Is it garbage brown? Like ocean city, Maryland where I grew up, . Um, the sounds, the scents, like I said, the salty air, maybe some of that delicious funnel cake scent. Um, this alone, doing these visuals and including also the other senses, can help reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, which if you've been through some, you know that blood pressure pressure can rise really quickly and it just promotes a sense of calmness. Number two, cellular healing visualization. So for cellular healing visualization, you wanna visualize your body at the cellular level, imagining each cell, right? And obviously you don't have to go through your whole body, but body. But for whatever time increment you let yourself have, let's say you're gonna do a 20 minute meditation, just go up, maybe your leg, you can start, you know, from your crown chakra down, whatever way feels good for you. Speaker 1: (03:39) But imagine your cells on a cellular level, having them be vibrant and healthy and this higher frequency envision a healing energy surrounding and penetrating each cell. I'm very visual, so again, I imagine like a yellowish golden light surrounding the cells. Repairing and rejuvenating this technique can enhance the body's natural healing process. But I'll get up and boost the immune system. I just did that look it up because I was watching, uh, has anyone heard of kickball dad? I know this is a TA side tangent, but I'm a DD, so you can have fun with me. Or on the side for a second. This guy, kickball dad on TikTok, Instagram, whatever. And he's really hilarious, but he'll just sit in the middle of something. If he kind of goes off talking about something, he'll be, look it up, look it up. So go look that up about how this can truly repair a

All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ChristyJade PODCAST: But Still She Thrives: https://christyjade.podbean.com/

All my current offers! Journey to Peace 1:1 Coaching Call and Blueprint https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1:1 coaching/energy work: weekly calls: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 1:1 coaching/energy 3 month program for major transformation https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/queens-of-peace-coaching-program2/ Self Paced Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ My #notmyshit Journal for daily empowerment: https://amzn.to/3XzbVYd FREE FUN: 4 Minute Empowerment Meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider 30 Day Toxic Relationships Declutter: https://christyjade.ck.page/toxicdeclutter Abuse Recovery Affirmations: https://christyjade.ck.page/affirmations PODCAST: But Still She Thrives: https://christyjade.podbean.com/ TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. I'm your host, Christy Jade, and today we are going to talk about discuss four signs. You are friends with a narcissist, dun, dun, dun. Um, sometimes with friendships we wanna skip over things 'cause we love them or we have history with them. But we're gonna get into this week what the signs are that you may have a narcissist as a friend. And next week we will discuss how that can be harmful to you. Pretty dang harmful. So stay tuned, we'll be right back. Speaker 1: (00:42) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:39) All right, let's dive in. Four signs. You are friends with a narcissist. So in my own life I have had friends, I can't diagnose anybody, but I've definitely had a friend or two with narcissistic tendencies. And to me, it doesn't matter if you label someone, oh, they are textbook narcissist, or they just have enough qualities of a narcissist that it's not healthy to be in a relationship. So I want us to get away from the idea of that we have to like, they have to have every single trait for it to not be healthy. Um, some of these traits I'm gonna discuss, I'm only only gonna talk about four. There's definitely more. But some of these, even having one of these could be unhealthy in a relationship, right? So you have to discern for yourself, is this trait in this person healthy for me? If this is something today we discuss that you have a friend with one or all of these traits, um, in my own life, those people, I really let them get away with a lot. Speaker 1: (02:53) Um, but that was also because I grew up as a child with a narcissist in my life. And so I was used to being treated poorly, um, dismissed, controlled, put down. Um, all of those things. We're not going gonna go into all of that. Maybe I'll share a bigger part of my story one day as an extra episode. But it's important to know if you grew up in that environment, that it's very likely that you may at attract. I wouldn't even say attract. Well, yes, attract in a way of you're, you may be in easier target because though the bigger part of this is that you will accept poor behavior because you may not even know any better. You may not know any different, right? So growing up I just thought that was just kind of part of how people treated people. I didn't, it took me getting into college, being away from family, um, having some healthier people pop up in my life that I realized like, wait, that was really jacked up, man, . Speaker 1: (04:06) Um, and even more time to truly see that it, it just wasn't, um, you know, it's not just physical, it's emotional, it's manipulative, it's all of those things. So if you can relate to any of this, whether it's in your past, in your childhood or in a current relationship, um, you, if you take poor treatment from people in your life, you may attract more people because it's easier for narcissists to manipulate people who have big hearts and are empathetic like, like us, right? That we do excuse things. We wanna look at the good. We want to not feel those bad things. 'cause we're, you know, for me, I'm a very happy go lucky person. I want to see people thrive. I want good for everyone. And that can sometimes blind us to, um, ironically putting ourselves last or in bad situations because we want to not squ

My Boundaries Course -special pricing for a limited time : https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME: [email protected] WAYS TO WORK WITH ME: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello Queens. Welcome to, but still she thrives. Today we are gonna talk about breaking the cycle after narcissistic abuse. What does that mean? Stay close. And I will let you know, Speaker 1: (00:15) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:12) Alright, so breaking the cycle after narcissistic abuse. This is for the people who have even overcome, in many ways narcissistic abuse. Maybe you're out of the relationship, but you still may have emotions, you may have negative thoughts, you may have things still attached to this abuse that you kind of wanna just white knuckle and just like run through and keep running and going through life. You have a lot of great things going for you and you don't want this holding you back anymore, right? But we're gonna dive into why you need to break that cycle and address it. And how, so number one, for your, uh, general emotional wellbeing. This is kind of an obvious one, but sometimes people don't realize how deep, really deep the abuse with narcissistic abuse specifically can go, right? It can lead to severe distress, it can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem. Speaker 1: (02:17) And sometimes when we're in narcissistic abusive situations, we think, especially if it's from childhood, we just think, oh, I just always had anxiety. I've always had depression. I've always, you know, been an overthinker over analyzer. That can be a result of abuse, right? A lot of the things associated with anxiety and depression can be caused by the trauma that narcissistic abuse causes, right? The low self-esteem. Same thing. So breaking this cycle allows victims to prioritize their emotional wellbeing and work towards that healing. Oh, the fun healing journey you're on. 'cause if you're on here, there's obviously some want for further healing. And I love that. Number two, I like this one. I like this one because one of the hardest things that I went through with my abusive, past narcissistic, abusive past was the control I feel like I lost. So number two is regaining control. Speaker 1: (03:22) Narcissistic abusers specifically often exert control. Not often. They always, I mean, anybody I know that has been under the narcissistic, narcissistic thumb as I'll call it, anybody who has been under that thumb, you know what it feels like to be controlled. You may have dismissed it for years. You may have, you know, made it seem like not that big a deal, or, oh, that's just them, right? We, we make excuses because a lot of people around these people will make excuses for them. Not here, not on the queen show, we're not doing that anymore. But they want control. That's one of the, they want attention and they want control. If they lose control, they flip out. So the thing is, with our, their victims, they are constantly controlling you to the point. Often we become dependent on that control. So what happens if you're gonna look at that at like a balance, right? Speaker 1: (04:24) One side, I've got the control. What happens? Your control goes way down. You start questioning everything. You start questioning even your own thoughts. You start questioning if you know what's good for you, what's bad for you, right? Because they have enmeshed themselves so much and vice versa that you can, depending on the situation, how close you are, that a lot of narcissistic abuse is between two people that are cohabitating, um, or dating or in very close relationships. Even best friendships. Even if you don't live together, you're so enmeshed that there is a very unhealthy codependence going on, and that includes control usually on one person's end, which is the narcissist. So by

Decluttering has become such buzz word a hot topic. Marie Kondo really exploded it. But her style is too overwhelming for people who have gone through trauma. I have found a great technique that works wonders for people like you and I who already have overwhelm and need to do things bit by bit AKA sparkle by sparkle! So let's talk about how my declutter technique actually helps HEAL more than your home! My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ChristyJade Get 10% off of my Empowered Boundaries Course here LIMITED TIME: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ WAYS TO WORK WITH ME: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello? Hello. Today we are going to talk about decluttering. This is something I've been dabbling with leading on my YouTube channel for years. It is one of the things I do that, uh, people get a little excited about. So I was like, why don't I do a lovely little podcast about the relation between decluttering and healing. So that's what we're gonna talk about. So stay close, and if you're on YouTube, you can stare at my face as I talk. And if you're on podcast, here's my voice. Hello. And you podcasters get a special little intro. Do, do, do. Speaker 1: (00:46) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still, she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kinda lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:43) But now we're back from the intro. Alright, so like I said, we are going to dive into decluttering for emotional healings today. Now decluttering, it's, it's become such a, I don't know, like a hot word, hot topic. Marie Kondo really exploded it. Ali Caza, who is one of my actual mentors, um, also really became, well, well-known for her declutter course, and then she became a bestselling author with her book called Declutter Like a mother that I highly recommend. And she's amazing. Um, and it just has become such a thing because it can have so many benefits besides the obvious just decluttering your space. So I wanted to talk about, for people who have gone through trauma or just are overwhelmed at a really deep level where overwhelm leads their life and they have high anxiety or depression, your space can get out of, can get out of control, right? Speaker 1: (02:51) So decluttering can have many positive effects on the mental and emotional wellbeing, which contributes to healing. So your healing journey, if you're listening to me on my normal podcast about narcissism and abuse and how to make life better in general, you're someone who is probably on a healing journey or getting there. So here are some reasons why decluttering can be beneficial. And we might have a follow-up episode with this. Um, depending on how well it's received. If, if the people wanna hear more about decluttering, let me know. So first of all, the obvious one I think most of us know is reduced stress, because clutter in your living space can create visual chaos and can contribute to feelings of o overwhelm. Not everybody has this, but a lot of people who already feel overwhelmed and anxious. This can definitely happen to, if your space is cluttered and there's a lot of just things that ever, basically every item you have, you have to manage. Speaker 1: (03:58) So if you're someone who's overwhelmed, you're already feeling overwhelmed by decision fatigue, just making all sorts of decisions and actions. Maybe you're juggling your work, your home life, your kids, your friendships, travels, whatever. There's, there's a lot of balls we have in the air, especially I know a lot of you are moms like I am. So when you have that more organized, serene environment, it can reduce the stress and promote that sense of calm that we're striving for, right? A lot of us are like, I just wanna have calm. I wanna feel like I have my together. And when your house is, for me, I, this goes hand in hand. I am so tied to my environment, like hands down. I used to say to my mom, like, you'll know how

Get 10% off of my Empowered Boundaries Course here LIMITED TIME: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ The Grey Rock Method episode mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-still-she-thrives-narcissistic-abuse-toxic-relationships/id1662241353?i=1000594909977 WAYS TO WORK WITH ME: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. It is almost Christmas. For those of you who celebrate, we have been kind of touching on the holiday season and today we are gonna talk about five ways to enjoy the holidays after disconnecting from a family member or loved one. So stay tuned. We will dive in. Speaker 1: (00:24) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:21) Alright, so first and foremost, I know it is very difficult to disconnect from someone in general, especially a narcissist. They know how to make it all worse somehow. And especially at holiday season, it can be really tough, especially if this is your first holiday slash Christmas without them. So we're gonna talk about five ways that can help you get through it a little easier. I'm not gonna say it's gonna be so easy if you do these things, but it can lighten the load a little bit. Number one, this was very important for me. Surrounding yourself with as many people as you can who love you, uplift you and support your decision. Often when we disconnect from narcissists, they usually have people, we may have people in common that can guilt trip us, make us out to be the bad guy because the narcissist may have smeared our name or done whatever they do, right to um, alter people's opinions of us. Speaker 1: (02:34) They will lie, they will do whatever they need to do so they look like the good guy, right? So the trick here is to try to use those blinders with the haters. So this is kind of going in hand in hand with surrounding yourself with the people that are actually there for you and supportive of you. It's also keeping the people that are not away from you. That should be always, but especially at holiday time. Whatever you can do if you have to block people on social media, block 'em. I've blocked a lot of people and at first it was kind of tough. It felt weird. It felt like, oh great, now I look like even more of an a-hole. But I knew I had to do that for my own peace. And we are here to protect our peace first and foremost for ourselves, for our immediate family. Speaker 1: (03:24) Or you know, if you have children, that was a big thing for me. I want my daughter to have peace and if something is going to mess with my peace, it's kind of a domino effect where it can affect the people around you. So smash that guilt coin. Squish it, squish it and wish it. Alright, so building that support system going into the holiday. And if I know some of you do have to be at actual dinners, Christmas exchanges, whatever, with someone you may not be talking to or you are trying to have limited conversations, also go to, I forget what number it is, oh episode, it's on the Gray Rock Method. I'll try to remember to link it in the show notes. But the gray rock method, you can search my name and Gray Rock Method, um, the name of the podcast in Gray Rock Method. Speaker 1: (04:09) It'll come up. But it helps you if you don't know how to navigate a narcissist, if you have to have contact with them, the gray rock method is the best way to go. So let's say you're in this situation at a dinner, at a Christmas exchange that will help you know how to navigate it. Um, so that's another thing to just throw in there. I know some people you are, you feel like you are stuck and you have to, um, and if you are in that situation that can really help you deal with it. But keep just quick tips on that. Keep your time limited, keep your emotions out of it. Very short answers if at all. If there has to be a conversation, yes or no. A

Join my free private FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Need a boost? I got you! Sign up for my morning mood boost meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@ChristyJade EMAIL ME! [email protected] TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she saw . We rewind. I'm, it's a bad week. Cora. Cora has COVID kind of a mess. So let's, let's start over there. Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is Christy. If you don't know who I am, I'm Christy Jade and I am a coach for narcissistic abuse recovery. I do work with people who have not been through narcissistic abuse, but it's my specialty and the majority of my clients have gone through some sort of abuse specifically, usually narcissistic. Um, so that being said, today we're gonna do a special little episode. So stay close, stay very close, not too close. Don't get creepy close. Um, and we are going to do an actual meditation going into the holidays because we all need it. If we have a narcissist in our life, if we are healing from narcissistic abuse, this will be helpful. So stay tuned. Speaker 1: (01:03) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with. I'm wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (02:00) Alright, as promised, we are going to do a little guided meditation. I love these. I love doing them. Like when other people guide me through and I love to guide my clients through. And I thought I would do just a little guided one specifically for the holidays. 'cause you lis, if you listen to my last episode, you know that the creepy crawling narcs do come out full force holiday season. So first, find a quiet and comfortable space, okay? Where you won't be disturbed if possible. That's the best way to do this. And you can sit down comfortably, whatever's comfortable. There's no right or wrong with meditating. And if you want to, sometimes I wanna max and relax on my back. I even have a meditation chair that reclines all the way back. Like it has different levels. It's amazing. Um, it's right behind me. And that's where I meditate sometimes. I basically am in a snooze position. All right? So get cozy. All right. First, just take a big breath and just kind of shake out. Shake out any energy you have. Okay? First we're gonna do grounding. So we're gonna begin by bringing your awareness to the present moment. And you can keep your eyes open or closed. Most people prefer to close them, but whatever feels good to you, whatever feels safe, feel the ground beneath you, whether it's under your butt or your back, whatever is supporting your body. Speaker 1: (03:36) And I invite you to inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. We're gonna repeat this two more times. Inhale and exhale and inhale and exhale anchoring you to the present moment. Then we're gonna create a safe space. So I'd like you to visualize a place that brings you a sense of peace and safety. This is gonna be different for everybody. It could be a beach, maybe somewhere tucked away in a forest. Maybe it's just a special room you have in your house that you enjoy being. Maybe it's your car. I know some of us moms tuck away in the car, giving ourselves a few more minutes before we enter the chaos. , wherever feels safe and peaceful for you, I want you to, to visualize that space and picture yourself in this space surrounded by a yellow, warm, protective light. Speaker 1: (05:08) Now get nice and settled in there. And now I want you to imagine creating a boundary of light around yourself. So this is almost this beautiful, warm, peaceful sphere of a boundary around yourself. A shield. Visualize this as a strong and resilient barrier, a

My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME! [email protected] Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. It is holiday season here in the us so if you are in the US or anywhere that it is, holiday season, prepare yourself for narcissist craziness. You know, Jose freak freaks come out at night. Well, the narcissist come out especially hard, usually at the holidays. Every narcissist is different. So we can't blanket statement anything. But in my experience and my client's experience, they do kind of get triggered during this time. So stay close to dive into what to expect from a narcissist during the holiday season. Speaker 1: (00:41) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:39) All right? So like I mentioned during the holidays, they can be surprising to some if you really know, narcissistic can be almost predictable. But a lot of you are in those early phases of disconnection, or you're just realizing you're dealing with a narcissist. This is all, you know, sort of coming into fruition. So you may be surprised at some of the things that will happen because they are maybe the opposite of what we should be doing and feeling at the holiday time, right? So, like I said, this is just a blanket thing I'm gonna throw out there. If you have disconnected from a narcissist, odds are they may have already tried to reach out. Thanksgiving can be a trigger. Hanukkah, Christmas, any of those winter holidays can be a trigger because narcissists, what do they always need? They need that love and adoration and attention. Speaker 1: (02:34) And if you have disconnected from them, if there is a void in their life from that, and they need that to basically live, they need that narcissistic supply. You being absent will feel even more around holiday time, because that's the time that, you know, we all can, you know, come closer together. We have gatherings, you know, it's supposed to be supposed to be this feel good, um, connecting time. So narcissists during this time can really get triggered. If you are dealing with a narcissist, let's say, I know some of you are actually in relationships, maybe you're thinking of getting out of relationships, they can also just in general, act out and stronger during this time. Like they're traits can get even worse during the holiday season. So we will go into that. The first one. They can often, well, you know, narcissists crave attention in general, right? Speaker 1: (03:28) So they need that validation during the holidays. They may go to greater lengths to be the center of attention. That can be through grand gestures, like, oh, look at me, look what I'm doing. Dramatic stories, narcissists, you know, their stories can go from zero to a thousand very quickly, where reality is very different. Which, if you don't know this about narcissists, a lot of them live in delusion, right? They have this grandiose idea of themselves. So the delusions can always get greater and greater if it, if they feel a need to fill that void and seek that attention even more during the holidays. So again, every narcissist will be different, but you can pretty much bank on this that they will be seeking more attention around holiday time, whether you're disconnected or not with them. Number two, uh, we've, we've talked about this in many episodes, but manipulation. Speaker 1: (04:26) So, you know, they have this inflated sense of self-importance, this grandiosity. So during the holidays, this can manifest into bragging about their achievements of the year. Again, exaggerating the stories, their achievement of they got X, Y,

Top 3% in podcasts globally Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME! [email protected] TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Huh, that's me being creepy, but also me introducing what we are going to talk about today, which is breath work. What are the benefits of breath work for people who are looking to heal? Stay close and you will find out, Speaker 1: (00:18) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you, I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and embody more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:15) I was introduced to breath work during the global pandemic of 2020 when I think we all needed some breath work. Uh, it was good timing. Yes, I was introduced to that and it really can be life changing and there's so much more to it than you would think. There's all sorts of types of practices. That was all a lot of words to say. Different practices for breath work, just different patterns, different ways you can use it from physical healing to mental and emotional and spiritual healing. There's just a lot of jam pack goodness up in the breath work world. I have done some breath work with my clients and I am getting certified to not only do breath work but all sorts of fun somatic healing therapies. So I'll be talking about that more. But I also wanna get to the point of this episode and dive in. Speaker 1: (02:13) So what does breath work do? Breath work refers to various practices that involve conscious control and manipulation of our breath, right? And we do this to achieve specific outcomes, like I said, that can be physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. So while individual experience can vary, these are five ways in general which breath work can potentially contribute to your healing on this lovely healing journey you are on. Number one, stress reduction. And this is big. This is a big one. We want stress reduction when we're going through the healing journey. We don't need extra stress, we need a lot less. So this is a great way. So deep and rhythmic breathing activates what is called, and you may have heard of this I've mentioned a couple times in some of my episodes. But parasympathetic nervous system, right? And this promotes relaxation and reduces the effects of the body stress response, which is normal in our everyday lives. Speaker 1: (03:17) But we can use this breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. And this can lead to lower levels of cortisol. I've heard that word thrown around a lot. It is the stress hormone and this can help lower it and get you to a calmer state of mind, which will help alleviate all the symptoms with stress related crap, right? We, we know all the feelings, the racing heart, the sweating, the nervousness, the worry, all of that can totally be helped just by deep and rhythmic breathing. That's why they do it during labor. Number two, improved mental clarity. This was like the icing on the cake for me. So focused and intentional breathing can enhance mental clarity and concentration. So increasing this flow of oxygen to the brain with, again, there's different patterns we can use for different things, but increasing that flow of oxygen can improve the cognitive function and help all of us gain better control over our thoughts and reduce that mental fog. Speaker 1: (04:30) Can I get a what? What for the perimenopause women of the world right now? Or a menopausal mental fog is a thing. I'm starting to get it. I'm not loving it so I'm gonna start doing a little more breath work around that. But it enhances the overall mental wellbeing. So I am loving this benefit. Number three, emotional release breath work can provide a very cathartic release of those pent up emotions. Certain techniques encourage the expression and release of those stored emotions letting us process and let go

Top 3% in podcasts globally Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME! [email protected] Grey Rock Method Podcast Episode mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-still-she-thrives-narcissistic-abuse-toxic-relationships/id1662241353?i=1000594909977 ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. I'm very excited about this episode. Um, I love this because I have so much to say about it. Hopefully I won't blab on too long. I'll try to keep it under 20. But we're gonna talk about tips on dealing with toxic people, abusive people, narcissists, whatever you wanna call it, all under the same umbrella of jackasses. Basically during the holiday season, we're gonna talk about Thanksgiving because that's what is happening this week. I'm getting a lot of questions about what do I do? I have to see this person. So if you're forced to see someone, we will talk about that. And I have one big tip coming up right after this little intro. Speaker 1: (00:50) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:48) Okay, my first major tip, this is like not included in the 10. Um, overall, I just wanna say to you, give yourself permission to not have to put up with just because someone is a family member or a longtime friend. Okay? I know especially when we're younger, we feel like we don't have that control. If you're under 18, you're under your parents' thumb. Um, I have stuff to say about that as well, but especially when you have reached a certain age of adulthood where you are allowed to make your own decisions, sometimes you don't feel like you can, but I'm here to tell you you can. And if you have that strength to go against the grain to be the black sheep, which I have become in ways and that's okay in my own family, it has brought me so much peace. Not feeling like, oh, I have to do this because it's a family member, I have to put up with X, Y, Z 'cause it's a family member. Speaker 1: (02:51) The freedom that came with realizing I don't have to and living the life where I don't put up with it and I don't tolerate it. And I disconnect from anyone who's abusive to me has been the biggest growth leap of my life and is how I am here now doing what I do for business. So it's been an awesome journey. But let's dive into the tips. If you are going to be around people that are not so great, toxic, abusive, narcissist, all of the above. First of all, you need to set boundaries, right? So this can be you're actually defining your boundaries or you have them in your head and you know what's going on with them. So if someone crosses that boundary, then you at least know I have this boundary, it's been crossed, and then you go to actually doing something about it. Speaker 1: (03:45) You have to decide what feels comfortable for you. I know a lot of us that have attracted abusers or narcissists are empathetic. We have big hearts. We put up with some. We can be people pleasers in many ways, especially with those type of people. But I'm here to tell you, if you don't, if you can't get outta this situation and you're having to just set boundaries instead saying firmly that they have done something that is not okay, you have full permission to do that and be specific about what you find unacceptable, right? Um, so instead of saying something like, you know, I don't really like your behavior, it could be like, you know, um, I really don't like you putting me down so if you put me down again, I'm going to X, Y, Z, right? This has, I've used in my own family where som

Top 3% in podcasts globally Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME! [email protected] ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. Alright, so today's episode we are going to talk about what it looks like to text with a narcissist. I'm so excited about this one. I think I might do like actual examples in a future episode, but today we're gonna talk about like the different ways and things that narcissists do in general. So grab yourself a frale app. Chatta venti. I don't do Starbucks, I don't do coffee, so I don't know. I have enough energy, I don't need it. But if you do grab it, maybe take a little cozy seat, a little cozy blankie and settle on into all the narcissistic fun. Speaker 1: (00:51) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:48) Okay, so usually I'm like a little more organized, but today I am not and I'm gonna go with it. I just follow my nose like that. Uh, what's it called? Two Can Sam follow my nose? The fruit loop guy. Alright, so anyway, I have super ADD this morning, so I'm just gonna go down. I took some notes of things that have definitely happened in my life on text with narcissists that I know I've known a couple. I've had a family member narc, a friend narc, and an ex narc. So we'll take all the fun from those people and talk about it and I'm sure you'll be able to relate. I know all of my clients that have been in narcissistic relationships. If you don't know I'm a life coach. I specialize in narcissistic abuse recovery, but I do also have clients that have not been through abuse. Speaker 1: (02:39) Um, but that was like a through line when I started coaching where I was like, wait, a lot of these people have been through abuse. Like a lot of people that I was coaching, a lot of stay-at-home moms. Um, a lot of women that were, I mean just from all walks of life. And I was like, hmm, several of them have this thing thing. And I start focusing on that because that is the deeper seated stuff that can cause you to hold yourself back in your life, not have confidence, all that. So that's just a little backstory again, ADD here today. So let's just go in to things that I notice. There's no particular order. I might backtrack, so try to stay with me, drink that coffee so you can keep up with Christie and we'll dive in. So the first thing I'm sure all of you, if you know a narcissist, you know they brag. Speaker 1: (03:32) They brag and there's a difference between having confidence and being cocky, right? Or having a false sense of superiority where you think you're more important than you are. Stuff like that. So bragging is so common with these narcissists. It's just constant. So something, even some narcissists really you won't even hear from them without them bragging. Or maybe you'll only hear from them when they need that ego boost. Depending how close you are with them. Like a lot of you won't believe what I did or guess look what I got. I had one narcissist in my life. Literally all they did was brag all the time. Look what I did. Or if they have children, they can use that extension of themselves, which if you don't know a narcissistic parent, their children really have one role and that is the extension of the narcissist. So if they have a kid that's doing really well, that is all they'll talk about and they will also kind of take the credit for it often, right? Speaker 1: (04:38) So bragging about themselves mostly or you know, a spouse or a child, but somehow it ends up kind of them taking credit. So bra

Top 3% in podcasts globally Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME! [email protected] ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) In today's episode, we are going to talk about how to calm down that nervous system immediately. What is the single best way to do this? Stay close to find out. Not, not too close though. It's it's flu season, y'all. It's flu season. Speaker 2: (00:16) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:14) All right, so welcome back. Let's dive into the single fastest way to calm that nervous system down. This is useful for anybody if you have not gone through abuse, that's fabulous. Very jealous. Love it. But also you can use this to help calm down in any stressful situation. Maybe you're just having a bad day at work. Maybe your hubby or your mama or your friend is driving you up a wall. Maybe the kiddos are getting a little needy and you just need a break. This is the single best way to calm that nervous system down. I'm gonna be very honest too. This was not my go-to way. I wanted to learn how to calm down. I am not a calm person in general. I'm very energetic. I love to dance and do hip hop. I like to sing some fast songs. I like to do everything fast, which is probably exactly why I need this calming tool. Speaker 1: (02:14) But you have to give things a chance. So before you click away, once you hear what this one thing is, I want you to have an open mind. Are you all ready? Are you opening your minds? Great, great, great, great. Okay. It is all about that breath, baby. I'm sure you have heard of breath work. If you were in the yoga world, the meditation world, if you're not welcome, there's a lot of talk about breathing and breath. And I'm not taking big enough deep breaths right now. And if I did, I'd be calmer. But I'm speedy Christy. So this is why I need to use this tool. I practice it often and it truly has changed my life along with other tools that I use. I love meditation. I love yoga. I'll be honest, I did not like any of those three things when I first started them, but I knew because so many people had said how amazing it was, how it changed their life. Speaker 1: (03:10) I was like, I'm gonna give it more of a chance. So breath work was the last of those three that I tried. And the irony is, it is the quickest one to work. It is that in the moment when you can't go meditate, when you can't go downward, dogger your butt all over work, you can breathe, you can take a few seconds or a few minutes to breathe. So we call this die of frag, pragmatic breathing. Okay? That's what we're gonna talk about. There's many different ways to breathe. Like he, he, he, no, I'm just kidding. There's, there's books, there's podcasts, all about breath. If you wanna dive deeper into this, but we're gonna be really simple here today on my show. Super simple. This technique, like I said, it is simple, it's quick. And it is highly effective in reducing stress and promoting relaxation, which we can all use more of, right? Speaker 1: (04:06) So number one, you need to find a quiet and comfortable place, okay? If you are at work or you're at work and like you just need a break at work, I'm trying to picture like a chaotic place. We are a lot. Hopefully you don't have like a super chaotic, stressful job, but I know some of you do, right? This is life, we're lifeing together. So I've gotta work with what some of you have. So let's say you do have somewhat of a stressful job. Maybe you're trying to get out of it, but in the meantime it doesn't help all the th

Top 3% in podcasts globally Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ EMAIL ME! [email protected] ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello and welcome to, but Still she thrives. Today we're gonna do something a little different and I'm gonna walk you through an actual guided meditation that I created for survivors of abuse. So, as you know, that's a big focus on my podcast. You know, I love meditation. If you've been following me, I'm a big advocate of meditating and yoga and all energy work. So I wanted to create something for you guys that you could go back to and just have on hand that's specifically for people who have gone through abuse. So stay close for today's magical episode that you can come back to time and time again when you're feeling stressed out and want to help heal energetically. Speaker 1: (00:46) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with, and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kinda lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:43) All right, Queens, welcome to this meditation, designed to help survivors of narcissistic abuse find inner peace and healing. So take a moment to find a comfortable and quiet space where you will not be disturbed. If you're driving, that's okay. You can just listen to this, but don't get distracted. Don't be a distracted driver, but you can subconsciously let some of this in and then go back to it later when you have time to actually really marinate in it. All right, so let's close our eyes and just shake out any of that energy, release it from your body. We're going to start with some just easy breathing, so just focus on your breath. Let's take a few inhales. Let's go in 1, 2, 3. Hold it at the top and exhale. Gonna do another two. And in 1, 2, 3, hold it at the top. And exhale. Speaker 1: (02:53) Last 1, 1, 2, 3. Hold it at the top and exhale. All right, so now we're going to begin by grounding yourself In the present moment, I want you to just feel the weight of your body on the chair or cushion, whatever you're relaxing on. And imagine roots growing from the base of your spine, extending deep into the earth, anchoring you in here. And now we want you to be really present. So I'll give you a few seconds to just imagine the branches coming from the base of your spine. That's the root chakra. And it could be wrapping around. If you have chair legs, you can imagine it going around them, down into the floorboards, into the earth's crust. And deeper and deeper into the earth, grounding you, keeping you nice and safe and stable in this comfortable position. Speaker 1: (04:16) All right. Now I want you to shift your focus to any physical sensations. So can feel the rise and fall of your chest, which with each breath, this picture it, imagine it, feel it rising and falling. You're just following your own body. Now, scan your body for any tension or discomfort at all. So you could start at your toes, your feet, your legs, your hips, your lower back, your upper back. Maybe your chest has some tightness. A lot of us hold anxiety there. Also, the throat chakra's, another one. It gets a lot of tightness, especially in US women. Speaker 1: (05:24) And that jaw, that neck and jaw line is, it's very common. So you may have some tension here. So I want you to first just notice it. Notice it maybe even in your head. Okay? And now I want you to focus on wherever the tension is. I want you to really focus in on it. And I want you to imagine that tension melting away. So as you breathe in, bring your focus to that area. And as you exhale, imagine releasing and melting that tension away from that area. I'll give you a little ti

Top 3% in podcasts globally Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Current pre-recorded Courses: Empowered Boundaries Program https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk EMAIL ME! [email protected] TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is Christie, and today we're gonna talk about 12 different kind of out of the box ways to meditate. Speaker 2: (00:11) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. All right, so Speaker 1: (01:07) Meditation is a practice that can take many forms and there are some creative outside of the box. Like I said, approaches to meditation. I am a huge advocate of meditation. It has changed my life. And if you are a person who has gone through abuse or trauma, meditation is really an amazing way in addition to your healing journey. Um, so yes, definitely use some of these approaches. Try them out if you haven't already and email me. My email is always in the show notes. You can email me and let me know which one is your favorite. Number one, walking meditation. I love this 'cause it incorporates something I'm very big on, which is moving your body to move that energy. So instead of sitting, you can practice meditation while walking. So you focus on each step, your breath or sensations you know, that are in your body as you move. Speaker 1: (02:04) I also sometimes like to focus on different things like the trees or the blue skies. Um, there are times I like to do like listen to a podcast, but I kind of view them as separate ways. But I do incorporate both. But when you wanna really be present, just focusing on something you know, like your breath, like something visual is a really cool way to do walking meditation. This is really good for those of us who have a problem sitting still, which I did for a long time now. I've kind of conquered that and I can do sitting meditations. I can do them for a long time. But it took me a while to get there and this was kind of a good bridge for me to get present without having to sit there and like still kind of felt in my head. This kind of teaches you how to get out of it. Speaker 1: (02:51) So it's a good starting point. Number two, artistic meditation. So engaging in creative activities like painting, drawing, sculpting, those adult coloring books or little kids coloring books. I'm not gonna judge. So letting your artistic expression flow without judgment, right? Like don't go in trying to be a perfectionist about the art. Just letting your intuition guide you and seeing what comes up. Sometimes all color, do art and words come up too, like this just kind of flow outta me. Um, it can turn into like an art slash free writing session. So playing around with your artistic creative, um, vibes if you will. I know a lot of you are creatives out there and it's a really good way to be able to do it without making it like a typical project where you're trying to make it perfect or you have a main goal, you have an outcome you're trying to get to. Speaker 1: (03:47) It's just like free flow and I love it. I just sounded like a valley girl. I love it. Oh my god. All right, next laughter Yoga. I actually did not hear about this until I think it was 2018 when I moved back to Maryland where I am now. I went to a yoga studio. My friend brought me there and she was like, let's do laughter yoga. And I was like, what? It is a laughter yoga class. So they laugh heartily like without any reason. There's, it's, it's hard to explain. You just have to go ahead and do it, but it is such a release. I actually ended up crying tears and it, it didn't, it didn't feel like hysterical

TOP 3% IN PODCASTS WORLDWIDE Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Current pre-recorded Courses: Empowered Boundaries Program https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ GREY ROCK METHOD PODCAST EPISODE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: https://ChristyJade.podbean.com/e/ep-5-the-grey-rock-method-how-to-disconnect-from-narcissistic-abusers/ ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk EMAIL ME! [email protected] DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. Today we are going to talk about when will the narcissist give up? Dun dun dun. Stay tuned. Speaker 2: (00:14) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:11) Alright, so I wanna preface this with the fact that depending on the narcissist, some of them will quote, never quite give up, but they may take some small breaks, some large breaks, and if you really are good at staying no contact, they may finally give up. So that brings us to number one, the case where a narcissist may give up and go away, at least for a while, is when they feel they have lost power, right? They're all about power. That is all they care about. They control the power. If they don't have it, they try to get it back. That's where they tug on your heartstrings and do their manipulation, whatever they can do to get you back under their power. So usually this occurs after you implement that no contact rule. That is always my first advice with a narcissist, unless there is some legal reason that you need to be in contact with them. Speaker 1: (02:12) My personal opinion of narcissists is there is no good reason to stay in touch with them if you have the option not to. So that's why the no contact rule is the best rule and it has the most success rate for keeping the narcissists away. So it effectively serves as a defense against most of their manipulations, right? They can't do the gaslighting, they can't twist your words when you're not having contact. They can't do anything in response to what you are doing. There's literally no contact. There's no way for them to have the power over you. Does that mean they w won't go ahead and talk crap about you to other people? You know? Yes, they may do that, especially in the, the beginning when you first start having no contact. That could be a way they may try to go through other people to get to you, to get you to contact them. Speaker 1: (03:07) But once you are strong in that no contact, if you can hold that method, , I'll call it, if you can keep it up, then that is when the beauty happens and they start to lose the interest, right? They lose that interest because it's no longer as easy as it was for them before and they have to start making more effort, bigger effort. And honestly, a lot of narcissists are, can be like lazy. They can be lazy about their control. So they want it, they target people who maybe have big hearts are empathetic. So it's easier to manipulate and tug on the heartstrings of those people to get the control. But when you make it too hard and you have no contact or you do the gray rock method, which I will link my episode to the Gray Rock method in the show notes. But when you do that, they don't have the ability to feel that control that they thrive off of. Speaker 1: (04:08) So they are more likely to, you know, cut the cord or just kind of forget about you and hopefully move on to the next victim, not hopefully for that victim, sorry, next victim. But for me, I can't control that. So I was just glad to be rid of my narcissist and they can, you know, go on with their lives, seek somebody else, mess with someone else's head. But I was ju

Here are my current coaching offerings. Let me know if you have any questions! Platinum: 3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Gold: 1 month coaching package https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Silver: Intake “Power Hour” coaching call https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall Current pre-recorded Courses: Empowered Boundaries Program https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ ------------------------------------ Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk EMAIL ME! [email protected] TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello Queens. Welcome to another episode of, but Still She Thrives. Today we are diving into a topic that many of us have encountered at some point in our lives dealing with narcissists. They're all around us. So whether it's a coworker, family member, friend, or even a romantic partner or ex romantic partner, narcissists can be challenging to navigate. But fear not. Christie Jaya is here, . Today we're gonna discuss some strategies on how to outsmart those nasty little narcissists. Speaker 2: (00:34) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:31) So first, really briefly, if you are new here, we are gonna touch on what narcissism actually is. It's a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, right? But spoiler alert, narcissists deep, deep down are very wounded, very insecure and powerless. And this is why they have to have this big mask. It's all a big nasty mask. Mask, but it's still there. So we still have to deal with it. It doesn't change the fact that they treat people poorly and have no empathy. They also have such fragile egos and can be so manipulative that it makes interactions with them. Super challenging. And if you have a narcissist in your life, you know what I'm talking about, probably why you clicked on this. So the first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to recognize their behavior patterns. This could include grandiosity, la, lack of empathy, manipulation, and this constant need for attention and admiration, which ain't cute. Speaker 1: (02:36) So, you know, my first advice with a narcissist is Ron. But if you can't continue on and listen, once you've identified a narcissist in your life, whatever relationship that is, the next step is setting healthy boundaries, right? They often push boundaries. They don't give a about your boundaries. They can be quite demanding. So to outsmart them, you need to establish very clear limits on what you're willing to tolerate and communicate them assertively. So you've gotta, this is part of the work I do with my clients, is building that confidence. Because without the confidence, sometimes it isn't believable that you have a boundary or you won't hold the boundary due to fear or guilt or whatever, right? So they may resist these boundaries completely. So standing firm is essential to your wellbeing. They, again, they're gonna try to guilt trip you or play the victim, but stay resolute in your boundaries. Speaker 1: (03:35) Queen, I know you can speaking, which if you don't know I have a boundaries course, all my information is always in my podcast show notes. Go click around in there, see what I have to offer. I have all my coaching offers and my boundaries course, which is epic. You'll love it. Grab it. There's a special bonus going on when you purchase it right now. So now is the time. So we know narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. So to outsmart them, avoid feeding their ego. Do not engage in the excessive flattery. A lot of us at one point or another may think, oh, I'll just try to make them feel better and they'll be nicer to me. Right? No, do not do that. Don't give the constant validation. Instead, focus on rational communication. Like very short and sweet communication. And they say to give constructive feedback when necessary. Speaker 1: (04:32) I, I have a hard time with this. Um, I feel like any feedback, constructive or

Empowered Boundaries Program (mentioned in podcast) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Power Hour 1:1 Coaching with Christy SPECIAL PRICE THIS MONTH https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/powerhourwithchristyjade Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk EMAIL ME! [email protected] Speaker 1: (00:03) Um, hello ladies. Hello my queens. I have something epic lined up for you. I'm so excited. First, I guess I'll say, you know, welcome to, but still she thrives. There's the official, hello. But I am so excited. I am relaunching my boundaries course with a special bonus for a limited time for a limited amount of people. I don't know when that time is gonna be up. I'm gonna see how many I sell and go from there because I need to have enough space to give this bonus offer this time, which is going to be an hour free one-on-one coaching with me. So you will get that on top of your Epic Boundaries course, which is prerecorded go at your own pace. So it's not like you're rushing around. If you've got a very busy life, it's easy to include in your weekly routine, or if you wanna do bi-weekly, it is dripped out weekly. Speaker 1: (00:57) So one video will come out to your email, directly to your email every week on boundaries. So if you feel like you are somebody who feels stressed out, overwhelmed, not at peace, feeling like relationships are stressing you out, feeling like maybe work is stressing you out, maybe the home life with the kids is stressing you out, odds are you have a issue with setting boundaries or keeping them or even knowing what or how to set boundaries. So my course is all about that, but we're going to touch on a few of those things today. And then, um, the offer will be in the show notes, the podcast description area. Um, so you can go ahead and sign up and if you sign up for a limited time, you will get that one hour one-on-one coaching with me, which it's just gonna be amazing, like the course with me helping you, guiding you on your journey to peace and joy and just ease. Speaker 1: (02:02) Don't we want an easier life? I know I did. And I'm here. So here's my hand. I'm gonna pull you on through and let's dive into the actual episode, shall we? So what are boundaries, right? We hear that word all the time to me, and we're gonna, we're gonna speak queen language today 'cause y'all are some queens. So I want you to picture boundaries like the walls that protect your castle, right? So just as a castle's, walls keep the unwanted out and the good within, that's important too for you to focus on, right? To me, it's protecting your peace. So all the good things you want to stay there and you want to block the negativity from coming and seeping into any even little cracks in your walls, right? So just as you get, you keep that unwanted out and the cherished in the personal boundaries define what you are comfortable with and what crosses the line. Speaker 1: (03:01) So imagine your emotional boundaries as this big protective shield around your emotional wellbeing. So when boundaries has such a negative connotation, and I hate that, I wish there was a more positive association with it, um, for me it is. But for a lot of people it feels like, oh, I'm telling someone what to do. No, you are telling yourself what you will and will not tolerate. And yes, you may communicate that to somebody, but in, in healthy loving boundaries, you're not really telling someone to do. I'll give you a quick example. Um, I had a person in my life that raised their voice a lot at me. And I was a grown adult. I was a grown adult, and I didn't want that to happen anymore. I was used to it. It was my way of life, my whole life. But I woke up one day, I was like, this really has caused me a negative feeling, like a lot, right? Speaker 1: (03:53) So I don't like that. I don't like that feeling. So what do you do about it? I, instead of saying, don't yell at me anymore, you can say, I'm not comfortable with being yelled at. That's not something that I accept in my life anymore. And here is what's going to happen in the future. If you do raise your voice at me, there's nothing I can do about that on your end. But for me, I am going to walk away. I'm gonna hang up the phone, like whatever it is your boundary is gonna be, and we'll get to all of that, especially in the boundaries course where you really customize and learn how to figure out what boundaries you need. And there's also talk in my course about how to set those boundaries with love, right? And where it's not aggressive. So anyway, let's move on. Speaker 1: (04:46) So if you find it hard to say no to, let's say extra work at the office, even when it's affecting your personal time, that might be a sign your time related boundaries need attention. If you feel just spread thin, if you feel like, gosh, I have no time to do anything, and I hear this a lot when my

Empowered Boundaries Program (mentioned in podcast) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Power Hour 1:1 Coaching with Christy SPECIAL PRICE THIS MONTH https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/powerhourwithchristyjade Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Christy Jade's Boundaries Course hhttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk EMAIL: [email protected] TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:02) Hello Queens. How are you? I'm so excited to be back after a little break. Here we are, we are gonna do some affirmations today. I wanna ask you guys for feedback. If you like this type of thing. Every once in a while hit me up at [email protected] and all my connecting links are always in the show notes. So don't forget to go to the show notes after the show or save it for later. Send yourself a little reminder. Um, but I would love to hear from you guys. Okay. Second thing we need to discuss, this is amazing. This is awesome. For the rest of the month, I have a few more slots open in my schedule for you guys. This is a super, super special pricing. I first sent it out to my email list, um, so they got the first dibs on it and uh, the spots are going. Speaker 1: (00:55) And if you're not on my email list, also in the show notes that go to the four minute meditation, you get an epic four minute, yeah, ends four minute meditation to start every morning with it is amazing. It's like relaxing but like energizing and grounding all at the same time. It's my client's favorite meditation that I do. So I'm giving you guys that free and when you sign up for that, you also get put on the email list if you opt in for that. If you do that, you can unsubscribe at any time. But why would you want to? Um, so you get first dibs at special pricing. If you're on the email list, you get just a reminder when my podcast comes out every week and then other little things drift in there. Alright, so let's shut up. Well not shut up totally, but shut up about all this and let's get into the actual affirmations. Speaker 1: (01:44) Okay? So I wanted to give you some affirmations for if you have been through abuse or if you've been through any trauma that has just kind of, I don't know, destroyed your confidence, brought you down, messed up your nervous system, any of that. I think we all deserve to actually take some time here. And I wanna hold space for you. So save this for either a time in solitude or if you are driving, just let me do the talking and you don't have to talk back. Pay attention to the road. If you're driving, I will just say these and they will go into your subconscious even if you don't repeat them. Um, and you can save this episode that you can go back to it over and over again every day of your life. No, but saying affirmations morning and night, literally, it's life changing. Speaker 1: (02:36) And it's, when I started my whole healing journey, this was a huge part. I still do it, but this was a huge part and I'm so glad that I did it because it truly does change the wiring in your brain. So let's dive in. So I will speak it and then you will repeat it after out loud in your mind. Or if you're driving and you just wanna let it marinate up in there, that's what you can do. Okay? So I'm gonna give space after. If you're like, where'd she go? That's where I went. All right, let's take a nice breath and get grounded. Ah, just shake out any stresses if you've had, if this is the end of the day or listening, shake out that stress. If this is your morning commute in, just envision a beautiful day ahead and let's go. I will break them up because some are longer. All right? I am worthy of love and respect and I deserve to be treated with kindness and empathy. I release the pain of the past and embrace a future filled with healing. I trust my instincts and boundaries to protect me from toxic relationships. Speaker 1: (04:07) I am not defined by my past. I am creating a brighter and healthier future. I forgive myself for any mistakes I may have made and understand that I did the best I could. I am strong and resilient and can overcome any challenges that come my way. I choose to focus on my own happiness rather than seeking validation from others. I am in control of my life and I have the power to choose who I allow into it. I am free from the chains of manipulation and can now live authentically and true to myself. I am surrounded by love and support and I am open to receiving it. Speaker 1: (05:51) Okay, so put these on repeat in the morning, in the evening. I just wanna touch on a couple of them real quick. You know, I always like to just go off on a little tangent. I will, I'll save you from going through each one. But the one I choose to focus on my own happiness and wellbeing, I left wellbeing off 'cause it was getting along, but rather than seeking validation from others is so important for us. That's a

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week I talk about 4 Ways to Live a Happier Life Sign up for the QUEENS OF PEACE PROGRAM by Friday and get a special bonus!! Just click the below link and start your journey to peace and joy! https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/queen-vibes Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for August! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:02) Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Kristi Jade, and we're gonna do a short but sweet podcast today. It's sweet because there's some simple tips for just living happier. And then I'm gonna talk about a program that I am putting out there. Again, I had it a few years ago and I am amping it. I have built more into it. It is epic, it is life changing. I will put a link with testimonials and all the details, but first, let's just dive into some simple things. We kind of complicate life, right? We have a lot of stress and there's a lot of external things that affect how we live our lives every day, right? The things we have to do, the feel, things we feel we need to do. External relationships, our relationship with ourself, our self-talk. There's so much that impacts our daily lives. Speaker 1: (00:59) So sometimes it's hard to take ourselves out and step back and evaluate what's going on. So number one, before this is just like a little bonus, but number one is sit back and evaluate first, right? Like what is going right and what is not going right in your life? That's pretty simplified. We go deeper to that, into that in my program. But starting there where you actually step outside of yourself and take a breath and stop just doing that. Like run, always go, always go. And not really taking the time to actually say, Hey, where am I? Not happy? And doing it in kind of a logical way and getting your emotions out of it so you can do it successfully. So one of my biggest tips for living a happier life is to not get sucked into the drama. What is the drama though, right? Speaker 1: (01:54) Drama can be so many things, but for me, drama really looked like getting in conversations that are negative, where people are draining your energy, where you feel tired after a conversation with someone. 'cause it's someone who complains a lot or they're negative, or you guys bring out negativity in each other. It just doesn't feel healthy and you don't leave conversations feeling uplifted and more energized. So pay attention to your body. Don't get sucked in. Also, don't take the bait if there are people in your life. And if you're on this podcast, a lot of you have been through abuse that are abusive to you, don't take the bait and don't get sucked in. It kind of goes into that realm as well. Number two, you have to find the time for self-care. I don't care who you are, I don't give a. You have some time. Speaker 1: (02:44) You will create the time. I am big on this. This is something I do with my clients, and every client has been able to create self-care time for themselves, even if they came in thinking they did not have the time. So you need to find the time. Number three, stop trying to please everybody, especially us as moms, as women, we by nature, can be more nurturing and wanna help people and that's all great, but it, when it's at the expense of your own wellbeing, it is no longer helpful to anybody. My favorite quote in the world is, you cannot pour from an empty cup. If your cup is drained out, you have nothing useful to give other people anyway, right? You need to take care of yourself. That doesn't mean you're selfish, it means you gotta do that self-care. You have to evaluate what is important to you, what you wanna do in your life so that you can be happy. Speaker 1: (03:43) And then that has a trickle down effect of others being happy. So get rid of that guilt girl. Number four, stop the negative self-talk. This is something that takes a little bit of training, but where we can stop our thoughts and really re retrain, reframe the brain. Oh, I'm, it's like I'm wrapping over here, but where you have to actively think, what are the thoughts that are in my head every day? I mean like 90% of women's thoughts are negative, whether it's judging other people, judging yourself when you're looking in the mirror, having those thoughts and worries, you know, thinking about future things that may not even happen, but we're thinki

Top 2% in podcasts globally Do Narcissists Have Real Emotions? The Surprising Answer on today's episode of But Still She Thrives Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) In today's episode of, but Still She Thrives. We are gonna talk about do narcissists really have emotions? They have what we see as emotions, but are they true emotions? Stay tuned and find out. Speaker 1: (00:14) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:12) All right, let's dive into this. I can say I myself was really wondering about this. When I started to really delve into narcissistic abuse with my own experience with studying it. This was something I was like, oh, I get so confused about this because they can turn on the tears. Or are they real tears? Sometimes it seems so genuine. They have all these different emotions that we can relate to, but there's something that seems off about it, so it makes us wonder. So we're gonna explore. All right. To begin, let's clarify what narcissism is. If you're new here, maybe you don't know. It is narcissistic personality disorder or N p D. It's a mental health condition, really characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration and important, very important in this is the lack of empathy for others. So it's not just someone who's like, oh, they're such a narcissist. Speaker 1: (02:08) They're just so cocky, right? It goes a lot deeper. There's a lot of characteristics. You can go binge a bunch of my episodes to find out more, but they often come across as arrogant and self-centered. So I think it's important to know do they have emotions? Do they real emotions? Do they have the same emotions the rest of quote us do? So do they have emotions? The short answer is yes. Like anyone else, they experience a wide range of emotions, happiness, sadness, anger. We know about that. Anger and narcissist, don't we? And even fear, right? However, the way they experience and express their emotions is what's really very different from what we consider typical. So they may have difficulty connecting with and understanding their own emotions. For me, I I really picture them as having these deep, deep buried emotions that they can't even touch on. Speaker 1: (03:06) Occasionally, depending on how much frequency of contact, how long you've known the narcissist, you may get a little glimpse of this vulnerability where you see a true ish emotion. I've experienced that very, very rarely with someone that I have known for decades. Um, I would say twice I feel I've seen what is actually a true emotion. Um, because they, they really don't even understand their own selves. They can't cope with emotions. So they don't really go there. Their intense focus on themselves also often makes it challenging for them to empathize with the emotions of other people. They're always so up their own asses, let's call it what it is that they can't see past it, right? And they, so they just have this block there. And another important aspect to consider is this narcissistic mass. So it's kind of referring to what, what I was talking about there about, you know, there's these emotions buried deep, but they often present a very carefully crafted image to the world. Speaker 1: (04:17) And this conceals all those insecurities, all their vulnerabilities, 'cause they have 'em. So that's another episode. They do have insecurities. A lot of narcissists come off as so cocky, an arrogant, and they know it all. And they are actually completely the opposite. So this mask can make it seem like they lack emotions or are only concerned with their own needs, which honestly, I do believe most of them are only concern concerned with their own needs. But that is where that comes from, is they are, are showing that they are this, oh, look at me, I've done this and I've done that. They brag, t

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about 8 Strategies to Accelerate Healing C-PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for August! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) On today's episode of, but Still She Thrives. We are going to talk about the secret of how my narcissist got me back. It probably works on you too. If you're still in this situation or if you're out of the situation, this may be a struggle and you're scared. You don't wanna go back or get re-involved in any way. Sometimes, even if you're a romantic. And then they try to suck you in as like a friend. They can use this tactic and it, it worked pretty well on me. I'm a sucker for it. So stay tuned to find out what it is and how we can say no, like to drugs. Just say no. Speaker 1: (00:39) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still, she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:36) All right, so let's dive into the secret to how my narcissist got me back. I mean, there were, you know, several ways, but this is a huge one that I think some of us may oversee. Or if you are an empath, like most narcissistic abuse victims, survivors, whatever you wanna be called, don't, don't yell at me, often have this trait of being empathetic and having big hearts, right? So this is something that narcissists really manipulate and in a calculated way use against us. So for me, one of those really, really hard things to resist is nostalgia slash memories. Anything related to good times, and it doesn't necessarily even had like, have to be with that specific person. And I'm gonna use an example, I'm gonna throw it out there. One of my real life examples that has happened to me in recent years even is that one of the narcissists that I cut out of my life is famous. Speaker 1: (02:42) Not famous, but famous for trying to suck me back in with nostalgia. He knows that's the thing. This is someone who knows me very well, we spent lots of time together and he thinks he is really smart. But I see through it. So now, honestly, it's comical when it would come through in recent years, it would be like, oh my gosh, this is so obvious that, I mean, it's comical, but it's gross too. It's gross behavior. So the nostalgia. So it doesn't necessarily, like I said, it doesn't have to be like, oh, remember when? And those can happen too. The whole, remember when we went to Maui together? I wish actually I went to Maui with anybody. That didn't happen. But you know, going down memory lane in that way is a great fast way to suck people in. Also, another way is just things they know you love. Speaker 1: (03:33) So my narcissist would use examples like, Hey, I just got tickets to blank. You like one of your favorite musicians, I'm saving a ticket for you. I have backstage passes. That's a real thing that happened. So they're trying to pull you in and, and they could totally turn it around, be like, no, I was just trying to be a nice guy. I really was. No, you weren't. You want to gain control. Narcissists want to gain control, and if they don't have it, they will try to get it back, right? And this, I mean, this was not years, maybe a year between the last time I talked to this person, they fell off. So don't expect them to fall off and never come back. I think we know that, but this person had not contacted me. Whatever. It was like good gravy. Then they came back with this probably because it may have sparked a memory of me because yes, I like this musician and they knew that. Speaker 1: (04:36) But it was more about them being feeling rejected and not havi

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about Tips on how to accept a narcissist's behavior Schedule a 1:1 coaching call with me here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Sign up for your FREE meditation to help regulate that nervous system! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider TRANSCRIPTSpeaker 1: (00:00) My beauties, how are you? Okay. I have been off. I have been vacationing and I also went to the lake with my group of friends, and I wanted to just slide this in here in the intro. How important it is to find very supportive, upbeat, uplifting people that do not gossip, who aren't negative, who don't bring you down to have in your life. It's so important to surround yourselves with good freaking people. I can't tell you the difference in my life now from 15 years ago. I'm not saying all my friends were negative, but there were some people that I had to walk on eggshells around that brought me down. And now having a solid group of friends that just were there for each other and always positive and not like. Talking other people and doing things and doing fun things and doing good for others, it's just such a game changer. Speaker 1: (01:05) Like relationships are seriously a huge key to healing and to just living an amazing life. So maybe we'll talk about that next week, but for now today, I have gotten this question from multiple people in different ways. It's been said in different ways, but how do you accept that the narcissists are the way they are? How do you, you know, 'cause it's hard. You're like, you don't get it because you're not that way. So it's, it's awful because they're awful, but it's even more awful because we can't even understand how on earth someone could be like that or treat people like that when we're finally like seeing it for what it is, or on the other side, right? Just the thought of how they treat us or other people can give us that visceral reaction. I've been there and it boils your blood. And then they can set you off if you still have to have them in your life. Even if you're like, I know I don't want them. I, let's say you're divorced or they're a family member, but you feel like you can't fully disconnect whatever it is, you still have to have that connection. So you have to see them or hear from them, at least here and there. That visceral reaction when they say or do certain things, will haunt you. So we're gonna talk about some tips that I've done in my own personal life in dealing with this stuff and hopefully can help you. Speaker 1: (02:28) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. (02:51) . I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (03:25) Alright, so let's dive in. Accepting that narcissists are the way they are, can be challenging. 'cause again, it's awful, especially if you've had personal experiences with them, which is why you guys are here. So here's some steps to help you navigate the process. Number one, and this helped me in a big way, is educating yourself. So that's what you're doing here. I definitely talk about why narcissists are the way they are or why they do certain things, right? Those are, in some of my episodes, you can dig you. I mean, there's a whole plethora. You can go on TikTok, you can go on Google, you can listen to podcasts, you can read books, right? Just make sure it's from a credible source. But understanding the psychological roots and the traits associated with them can give you a little more insight into first just why they do what they do, right? Speaker 1: (04:14) Because if you just know a narcissist is a certain way, it's like, that's awful. Why would anyone be that way? So you dig into the why's, and if you work with me one-on-one, we can go even further into that. So it depends, you know, people talk to me about all sorts of things, and that is sometimes we really delve into that because it is important that you understand. Number two, recognizing you cannot change them. Let's say that one again. You cannot change a narcissist. You have to accept, you cannot change their behavior or personality. I mean, this should go for most people. I do

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about The Reason Your Nervous System is Always in Overdrive After Narcissistic Abuse Schedule a 1:1 coaching call with me here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Sign up for your FREE meditation to help regulate that nervous system! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still She Thrivesa with Christy. Okay, today's episode is going to be pretty short, but it's gonna be important. It is important, and it's something I just want to share with you guys because it might seem simple, but it's something that I didn't really get till it just kind of clicked one day of like, this makes sense. So stay tuned to hear the reason that your nervous system is always in overdrive. If you've been through narcissistic abuse, Speaker 2: (00:34) Hey Speaker 1: (00:34) Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? And you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:32) Okay? So like I said, I've always felt like even after I have cut the narcissist out of my life, I still felt tense. I still felt stressed out, overwhelmed. Like just that my nervous system was so, so out of balance. And I'm like, well, I'm out of the situation. Was there a lot of peace that came from that? Yes, but it felt like this underlying thing and I was like, maybe I was just like born with anxiety, right? Like all these things came through my head. And then as I started to learn more about narcissism myself and go further in my journey, I realized, okay, so even though your body knows when you've left a certain situation, you're out of an abusive situation, toxic situation, whatever you wanna call it, you know you have peace, you can feel a difference. But if you are like me and all of my clients, even after you are out of the situation, you can still feel on edge. Speaker 1: (02:26) You still have this underlying stress, you question yourself. There's all sorts of things that when your body is not in alignment and is dysregulated, when your nervous system has been blown like that, it can totally shift things around in many ways. The thing is, when you're outta the situation, your body has an imprint. Your mind has an imprint, and it doesn't necessarily know that you are safe. It might have an idea you're out of this situation on a surface level, but there is this deep imprint of not feeling safe, even though there's knowledge of it, it's almost like it's stuck in that fear as well of it could come back, right? And, and we have those thoughts even on a more surface level where, oh, I might not trust again or this might happen again, right? Because our bodies are stuck there. So we are stuck in the trauma of our relationship, whether that be romantic, whether it be family, relationships, friendships, whatever it is, our mind, body, and spirit can all be still stuck there in many ways. Speaker 1: (03:37) When I understood that, like I really understood, I am stuck back there, even though I'm here, it helped me get clarity and kind of more motivation to like, okay, I need to dig into all of these three areas of my life, right? The body, I need to do some work on my body. I started doing the yoga, the meditation, right? The mind, we do therapy, talk therapy, affirmations, all, there's all sorts of therapies we can get into, right? And then the mind, the body and the spirit, right? So that for me, that that's some God stuff. Whatever sort of spiritual work. If you're a universe person, a god person, I don't, I don't care who it is, I don't care who your higher power is, it helps to have one. If you don't have one, dismiss this part, it's fine. Um, most important is that whatever parts of your body have been affected, you need to help each and every one of those. Speaker 1: (04:37) Are they related and entangled to a degree? So they affect each other? Yes. But I've noticed I really had to do specific work in each quote section of myself. If you have been following me, you know, I have a lot of episodes on how to help the healing process or start, sorry, start the healing process, right? How to start w

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about 5 Ways to Deal with Self-Doubt and Identity Confusion After Narcissistic Abuse Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for August! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ After abuse we need SIMPLE. Grab the best planner ever, here! https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. Today we're talking about the last part of this series, how narcissistic abuse affects your psychological wellbeing. And there's a lot. There's been a lot. This series has gone on and it is the last one. We're ending with a bang here talking about dealing with self doubt, doubt, , and identity confusion. Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:28) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:26) All right? We're gonna talk about that identity confusion, the self-doubt. We know if you have been a survivor of narcissistic abuse, you can have a lot of self-doubt. Shame, we've touched on that. And the identity confusion is real. What does that mean? Well, this means you start to may not even recognize yourself in a relationship, right? Who you are, your values, your beliefs, even your own thoughts and memories can get foggy. You can feel like you're crazy because of the gaslighting that narcissists have done to you. It can make you question everything. Your self-esteem can plummet. There's a whole lot that goes on with your identity and who you are when you are in a narcissistic relationship. This does not have to be just romantic. This can be a sibling, a parent, it can be someone you're, you know, co-parenting with an ex. This can be a friendship. Speaker 1: (02:22) This can be the mailman if you're real close to him, okay? That'd be a little weird if you're that close with your mailman. But hey, he brings some good. All right, so let's dive in to talk about what can you do to deal with this stuff. If you are suffering from feeling like you don't even know who you are anymore, you come out of a relationship and you're like, now what? Who am I? I don't even know what I want and don't want. I don't know which direction to go. Help. I get this question a lot as a coach, a lot of people come to me and that is the first thing. They're like, okay, what? Now I'm out of this situation or I'm getting out of it and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm starting over and I'm scared I'm damaged, I'm scared. Speaker 1: (03:04) I don't know who I am. I don't know how to find that person. So let's touch on it. We're not gonna touch on it. Actually, we're gonna go kind of deep 'cause we're gonna talk about five ways. Number one, self-reflection and introspection. You do have to reflect in order to figure out who you are now, who you became, all that stuff. Because sometimes when you're in a relationship, especially if you're living with the person, it's like you're just trying to make it through. You're just trying to make it through the abuse and walk on those eggshells to make you. Don't make sure you don't rattle the cart, all of that. So when you finally get out or y

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about 3 Tips to Help You Recover From Social Isolation After Narcissistic Abuse Mentioned Reiki Energy Healing Session with ne! https://christyjade.podia.com/reiki-1-1-session Mentioned episodes: https://ChristyJade.podbean.com/e/ep-20-filling-the-friendship-cup-after-narcissistic-abuse/ https://ChristyJade.podbean.com/e/ep-19-finding-true-friendship-as-an-adult/ ARE YOU LOVING MY CONTENT? You can say thanks here: https://christyjade.ck.page/products/queen-drop GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for August! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ After abuse we need SIMPLE. Grab the best planner ever, here! https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Transcript: Speaker 1: (00:00) What's up party people? This week we are still on the series talking about psychological effects from narcissistic abuse. We're working through this. We are almost to the end of this series. So also chime in, message me, email me, let me know what topics you want me to cover. You can always check my show notes and my email address, which is fierce mama c gmail is there. So you can write me and be like, Hey, I want you to talk about this. I have a little list going, so add to it. All right, so today we are going to dive into social isolation. It's a big one. Narcissists do this to their victims. They socially isolate them, which actually has an effect. So let's talk about it. Speaker 1: (00:49) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:46) So if you've been following me, you know that there are tons of effects from narcissistic abuse and they can be psychological and this sucks and we hate it. So we're gonna talk about how to undo it, reverse it, slip or down. Reverse it. Name that tune. Um, so this week we are talking about social isolation. So if you were not familiar with this, narcissists will isolate you socially. There's all sorts of things they do, but this is what we're talking about today, specifically social isolation, where they will try to isolate you from your family, from your friends, and they can do it subtly. They can do it slowly. They can do it in a way where they will turn you against people who actually love and care for you. And they start to mess with your mind trying to convince you that those people are not good for you or don't want the best for you and they're just protecting you. Speaker 1: (02:41) It's a whole gross ucky, yicky, all those key words. Okay? So today we are gonna talk about three ways you can help heal and work on that social isolation effect. Because when you've been in that relationship, especially if you've been in it for a long time, you may have lost friends, you may have lost family, you may have forgotten how to be social because you've been so codependent on your narcissist. So we don't want that anymore. We are gonna flip it into you 2.0 and we are going to gain back that confidence, that social relaxation where you feel better going into friendships. We actually have, I have some podcast episodes on friendships I can link and just in general kind of undoing what ha

This week, let's talk about 5 Ways to Set Boundaries as a People Pleaser Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse ASK ME HOW TO WORK WITH ME 1:1! [email protected] Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Transcript: Speaker 1: (00:00) In today's episode, we're gonna talk about one of my favorite things to talk about boundaries. This is especially for you, all the people pleasers of the world. Some of us though, I'm throwing myself into this bucket. Our people pleasers only with certain people in certain situations. Hmm, abusive situations or just, it could be in your work environment, you're like that. Maybe it's just with family because there's history there, or you have fears or have to walk on eggshell so you become maybe more of a PE people pleaser in certain areas of life. Either way, this podcast is for you. Speaker 1: (00:40) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Kristy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and free. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:37) All right, queen bees, you're ready. Let's dive into the four ways to help you scooch along in your little boundary journey. Boundaries is such, it feels like such a harsh word. It doesn't have to be, to me, boundaries are a way. You are protecting your peace. You're not like doing wrong to anybody. You are doing good things for yourself and your life. Keeping in alignment with what you want in your life and what you deserve in your life. So you should never feel bad or have guilt around boundaries. And there are beautiful ways to express your boundaries. You don't have to be harsh but firm. Yes, that doesn't always mean you have to be like aggressive or harsh, but you wanna hold those boundaries in a solid firm way so that you stick to them. And the more you stick to your boundaries, the more people expect you to have and hold boundaries, which we love. Speaker 1: (02:31) By the way, if you don't know I have a Boundaries course, I will put the link in my show notes, aka podcast description. It is 10 whole exciting videos that you can do at your pace. They basically like drip out every week and then you can, you know, listen to them as you please. I try not to put them all in cuz nobody needs to listen to 10 boundary videos in one week, but they drop out every week, drip, drop, whatever word you wanna use. They Dr. Itty drop out every week and then after that you have them for a lifetime. Isn't that exciting? So if you really wanna go deeper on boundaries, then check that out. It is a, ugh, it's just an awesome, awesome course. I highly recommend it. I may be biased. All right, let's dive in. So as a people pleaser, setting firm boundaries can be challenging, right? Speaker 1: (03:25) We wanna please everybody or maybe, like I said, it's just certain people in your life. That was my case. I wasn't really a people pleaser to every single person that I ever met in my life, but certain people in my family, certain relationships, like romantic relationship, one of them I had, I was a super people pleaser in that one. Um, so it depends on the situation, right? But as a people pleaser in whatever way, it can be challenging to set boundaries with the person that you are people pleaser ring to. Is that a word? But you need to set these boundaries because we're trying to have peace and joy here. And you with, let me just back up. That's me re rewinding. If you do not have firm strong boundaries in your life, in alignment with what you want out of life, you are no not going to be able to get or maintain the things you want in life. Speaker 1: (04:20) And for us, that's peace, that's joy, that's freedom. All the things that we really truly desire and want after narciss

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about 5 Ways to Help Release Guilt and Self Blame After Narcissistic Abuse Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for July! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ARE YOU LOVING MY CONTENT? You can say thanks here: https://christyjade.ck.page/products/queen-drop GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, beauties. Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer so far, or winter if you're across the world. For me, I'm in summer mode. I'm in vacay mode. Life is good. And it just makes me realize that we truly can create a life we want, even when we've been through some. So today we're gonna talk about five ways to stop self blame and guilt after narcissistic abuse. And I'm doing a second podcast about this because it's come up a lot lately with my clients. Some followers have messaged me about the self-blame and just feeling like ashamed and beating themselves up. And we don't have time for that. So we're gonna get into it this episode. Speaker 1: (00:50) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:48) All right, so as we know, recovering from narcissistic abuse can be very challenging, right? And overcoming the self-blame, the guilt that just, oh, you feel like, how did I let this happen? All of those thoughts can really kind of stunt your healing. So we have to kind of break through this in order to move forward. So here are five ways to help stop all those things that we just, like I said, we don't have time for. Let's move, let's move forward. And shimmy, shake, come on. The first one, really educating yourself about narcissistic abuse. Obviously in my journey I have gone very, very, very deep in understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, right? It was part of my healing journey. It's how I'm here now, helping you, giving you information. But it was really essential for me to get through the guilt and everything. Like once I realized, wow, these are actually a specific type of people that do X, Y, Z, it's almost like a science. Speaker 1: (02:54) It becomes almost predictable. I say almost, cuz not every little nuance is always predictable, but when you really start understanding narcissists, they become pretty predictable and you kind of know they're next to move and you start to see it in a more logical slash technical way rather than an emotional way. And that is helpful for our journey in healing. So listening to podcasts like this, watching YouTube videos, there's a million TikTok videos you can watch. There's just so much information out there now, thank goodness about narcissistic abuse. That being said, some of it, you know, check your resource if there's accurate information. Sometimes people just throw stuff there, stuff out there. So if you really want to understand, it is helpful to work with a therapist or a coach like myself that has been through it and truly knows what's going on, the ins and outs of narcissism and the abus

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week, let's talk about 10 Ways to Regulate Your Emotions and Find Peace Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for July! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ARE YOU LOVING MY CONTENT? You can say thanks here: https://christyjade.ck.page/products/queen-drop GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, hello. We are still working our way through the psychological effects of narcissistic abuse and on today's episode we are going to talk about emotional dysregulation. So stay tuned and we will dive into 10 tips to help you with this. Speaker 1: (00:20) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and free. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:32) So today we're talking about emotional dysregulation. What is that? You may ask? Well, it refers to the difficulties in managing and controlling your emotions effectively. So a lot of us, before I dive in, a lot of us cannot regulate our emotions correctly. If we have gone through narcissistic abuse, any type of abuse or trauma, which is like a lot of the world, let's be honest, but we can't manage and control those emotions. So it can manifest as in intense mood swings, impulsivity. Um, my impulsive shopping may have been a product of this anger outbursts, emotional instability, right? You might feel like your emotions go way high and then way low. And this actually can be very common because of the situations we were in or are in. If you're listening to this and you're still in a situation where we are literally like being trained by someone and manipulated to where our emotions are being tossed around high and low, high and low, high and low. Speaker 1: (02:36) So we get used to that feeling. So that is why even after you are out of a situation, you can still feel those intense mood swings. Your body remembers, woo, that was supposed to sound like a weird ghost and it just sounded like I was wooing for like a really good hockey team. But let's dive into like what do we do about it? I'm a very, what do we do about it? Now, person, as you may know from listening to my podcast, so here are 10 strategies that can help you cope with emotional dysregulation, uno, practice, mindfulness. There may be some overlap in some, some of these episodes here and during this series, but it's important to engage in mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing meditation, body scans. I don't know why body scans, like some people love them for me, it took me a while to do them and I still, they're not my go-to. Speaker 1: (03:29) So find what works best for you. Don't feel like if you don't love a good body scan, you don't have to do it right? Find something that works for you. It could be walking meditations, it could be meditating and having music in the background. It could be going for a run, right? But just somewhere where you're able to clear your mind and be present. These practices can help you become a aware of your emotions without judgment and respond to them more skillfully. So let's say you're meditating just like typical own style, rig

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Feel like you have no control and can feel crazy town when having a conversation with a narcissist? Been there, girl, glad to say I'm not there anymore and I wanna help you too. So stay tuned for my four ways to gain control and keep calm while having these not so fun conversations. mentioned episodes: Episode 2 (about gaslighting and more) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-2-5-signs-of-toxic-people-and-how-to-get-rid/id1662241353?i=1000592070178 Episode 5 (Grey Rock Method_ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-5-how-to-handle-narcissistic-abusers-the-grey-rock/id1662241353?i=1000594909977 RELATED LINKS: Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider EMAIL ME TO FILL THE LAST SPOT in my coaching for limited pricing of $50 (normal price $200): [email protected] Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Feel like you have no control and can feel crazy town when having a conversation with a narcissist Been there, girl, glad to say I'm not there anymore and I wanna help you too. So stay tuned for my four ways to gain control and keep calm while having these not so fun conversations. Speaker 1: (00:19) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all the fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:39) Look, I'm a big believer in people can change and grow, but narcissist not so much. It is basically like 0.0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0 1% chance that they can. And I'm not here for waiting around and neither are you. So narcissists are constantly trying to find a way to control you. They do this by deflecting, making you feel like you're being unreasonable. And lighting, which I go into detail in an episode two if you're interested. So when you're stuck in a conversation with a narcissist, it can be hard to keep your cool and stay focused on the goal of the conversation or whatever you're trying to get across, right? Because they can make you feel like cuco, crazy cuco. But if the situation calls for it, there are four tips here that will help you keep control of the conversation. Number one, and this is a mantra of mine, don't take the bait. Speaker 1: (02:32) They want a fight. They want the power struggle. It's important to remember that a narcissist, they wanna win, right? It's their whole shtick. And the only way they can feel like they've won is what if you lose whoever they're talking to. So if you're in this conversation, they want you to lose. They're not gonna leave till you've lost. So don't take that bite bait. They can really wear you down. If you don't get into the power struggle with them. Their only option is to eventually walk away from the conversation, or I prefer to walk away from it myself, usually, right? So they will over time get sick of your lack of reaction. And that's called the Gray Rock Method, which

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Know if a Person is Trustworthy. This can feel especially hard to those of us who have gone through abuse, but I think you will enjoy these tips! Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for June! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ARE YOU LOVING MY CONTENT? You can say thanks here: https://christyjade.ck.page/products/queen-drop GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, beautiful beings out there. Put a smile on your face. I want you to be happy today. Let's decide to be happy. I hope you're in a good mood. If you're not, let's turn it around. All right. Today we are going to talk about how to determine if someone is trustworthy. On the previous episode this week, we talked about trust and regaining trust in ourselves and other people. So I thought I would do a little tip session. Nine tips on how to determine if someone is trustworthy. There are some signs. So let's dig in. Speaker 1: (00:37) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:35) So after narcissistic abuse, it can be tricky trusting yourself to make the good decisions, trusting yourself to be able to tell if someone's trustworthy, trusting other people. Cause there's some whack people that hurt our feelings and our souls . So let's dive into how to know if someone is trustworthy. Number one, honesty. So look for consistent honesty in their words and their actions. I say actions more than words, right? Because there's a lot of lip service, especially if you have attracted someone of the narcissistic personality and you're worried about attracting it again, they are good at lip service. So yes, words matter, but actions matter more. So are they transparent? Are they open? Are they truthful in their communication? But it's kind of like, well, yeah, you asked that, but sometimes like I thought they were honest. Now that you've been through it, believe it or not, you actually can tell a little better than the start of your journey with a narcissist because you're here, you're away, you're trying to heal. Speaker 1: (02:42) You did see red flags, you did get out or you're trying to get out. So you know, some of the red flags, you know that intuition feeling. You need to get in touch with your intuition to really be able to feel that. Again, I have some episodes go binge my episodes cuz I talk a lot about that. Meditation y yoga, doing these things really help you, um, kind of connect your intuition back to your mind, your body, your soul. So you can trust yourself intuitively, right? But one way to kind of test this is when you are, let's say dating or getting a new friendship, whatever. When you ask questions, do they feel like, seem like they're avoiding them? They don't want to answer, especially when you're asking pretty simple questions that have simple answers. Do they get defensive? So kind of read body language, see hesitancy, um, and see how open they are because a lot of narcissists will not answer certain things, especially in the begin

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about 4 Tips on learning to trust again after narcissistic abuse. Grab my setting boundaries E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for June! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ARE YOU LOVING MY CONTENT? You can say thanks here: https://christyjade.ck.page/products/queen-drop GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:01) Hello. In today's episode, we are going to talk about learning to trust after abuse. I know a lot of you think that's impossible. I'm not gonna say it's super easy or overnight, but yes, you can do it. And I have four lovely, one amazing queen vibe tips. Let's try to make something. Good, right? That's what I like to do. Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:26) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christy I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:24) All right, look, I get it. I get it. I've been there. I remember choosing a relationship that was not the healthiest and did I stay in it longer than I should have? Yeah, that's why I'm here. But I will say also after that lovely relationship that is sarcasm dripping out of my mouth, I found that I could trust again. And it took some time, it took some work, but we can make that fun. That's why, that's why we're hanging with Christy Jade. We make fun here. Okay, so let's talk about three ways to chip away at that self-doubt of like, can I trust myself to even have a good relationship or can I trust other people? I mean, that person was whack. Are there more whack people out there? Yes, there are. We're gonna get to that. Okay, so number one is surrounding yourself with supportive people, like uplifting people, cheerleaders people who have your back, loyal people, people who don't make you feel small. Speaker 1: (02:25) You may be like, are there those people? Because I, I kind of felt like, are there, I knew some cool people, but I will tell you this, when I truly disconnected from the controlling, complaining, negative people in my life, I started actually attracting people on a whole other caliber. Like super supportive, just sweet, thoughtful. It was so much that I was like, are you just blowing smoke up my? Is this fake? Is the shoe gonna drop? I'm talking even about friendships, but the shoe has not dropped. There are actually some really amazing good healthy people out there. And I feel like a lot of us, if we grew up with some maybe a little chaotic childhoods, if we chose some relationships that maybe kicked our to put it lightly, we think, oh, that's, that's just what's out there. At least for me, I kind of felt like that. Speaker 1: (03:21) I felt like I was used to being abused in ways, mentally, emotionally, even physically. And it was kind of like this bar I had cuz I didn't know what else was out there as far as especially romantic relationships and even just people being close to me not realizing like, oh, there can be people that are really understanding and who don't just have their way or the highway mentality, right? So one of the first things I did as I kind of cleaned out the closet, remember Eminem, that song I'm

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about 8 Strategies to Accelerate Healing C-PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse Wanna work with me 1:1? I have ONE spot left open for June! https://christyjade.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ARE YOU LOVING MY CONTENT? You can say thanks here: https://christyjade.ck.page/products/queen-drop GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Want to start your day off feeling amazing?! My EPIC 4 MINUTE empowering meditation is yours, free! https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Transcript: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, hello. As a part of our psychological effects of narcissistic abuse series, today we are going to touch on a, a tricky, tough one, which is C P T S D, and that stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Stay tuned to dive into some tips and tricks to help deal with it. Speaker 1: (00:23) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with? I'm wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:20) So first of all, I am not a mental health professional, but I can offer some general suggestions on how to cope with complex post-traumatic stress disorder following narcissistic abuse. So first, it is important to remember everyone's experience is unique. So what works for one person may not always work for another. So you try and use these different techniques and methods and see what works for you. And there will be maybe some that don't. And if you're struggling with C PTs D, it's recommended to seek support from a qualified therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse. So they can provide the personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs. Nevertheless, here are some strategies that I myself have used and hopefully will be helpful for you. Number one, educate yourself. So learning about C P T S D and narcissistic abuse is huge. Understanding the dynamics of the relationship and the impact it had on you can be empowering and really validating. Speaker 1: (02:25) That's something for me that was really big, was the validation. I got like, oh wow, this makes so much sense and I felt a lot less either shame, guilt, confused, you know, that blame, that guilt, all of that. So it helps you recognize your experiences are valid and they're not your fault. So I definitely like you're here, you're on my podcast. Maybe look at talks, YouTubes. There's so much information out there to help you really educate yourself on this topic. Number two, establish safety. This can come in all shapes and sizes. So you wanna create a safe environment for yourself, not just physically, but emotionally too. Which I mean everyone should be doing this in life, but especially narcissistic Abu abuse survivors. It's really important for us to like gear up and protect our peace. So this may involve, not may involve, this does involve setting boundaries. Speaker 1: (03:22) Setting boundaries is huge. Removing toxic people from your life. I am such an advocate of clearing the clutter of toxic people. I have an episode on it. I will link in the show notes. Um, but it's really, really important because if you wanna maintain well get peace and then maintain it. You cannot have destructive people in your life. Bottom line, it's just not gonna work, right? So seek

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing extended through June 9! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello. Hello. Today's episode's gonna be a little more casual, a little unplanned, a little cross your fingers. Let's hope something good comes out of this. Just kidding. Stay tuned. We're gonna dive into walking on eggshells. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey Queens, welcome to, but Still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:14) So this is something I definitely went through with the narcissist in my life and every client I've had, every person I've had reach out. This tends to be something we all have in common, that with the narcissist, you are basically trained to have to walk on eggshells. Why? I don't know. Because the, the more you may go against them or not agree with them or just do what you want to do, the worse the consequences are, whether that's emotional, physical, whatever type of abuse. And this honestly could go for any type of a abuse, not just narcissistic abuse, but especially with narcissists. Man, it is their way or the highway. And we learn that we have to sacrifice our own wants, our own needs in order to placate them. I grew up pretty scared of somebody in my life. I grew up, I'll be honest, terrified because I was scared if I said the wrong thing made the wrong move, that person would explode. Speaker 1: (02:25) And it was a very scary experience. Every day I had to walk around on eggshells, right? That's a saying, walking on eggshells. And this was all, I honestly knew. I didn't realize the severity of how it would impact my entire life moving forward, even after I wasn't in this narcissist life anymore. So today we're gonna talk about how to change your mindset because it's not just kind of like, oh, here's a tip to not have to walk on eggshells, right? Like it's a whole mindset shift. So I thought, let's dig into it. I don't, like I said, I don't really have bullet points here, but I'm just gonna talk about my experience, what helped me and it, I'm so passionate about this. I may do another episode on it, but I just wanted to just have, have like a heart to heart with you guys about this because this is, something comes up, like I said, my clients are like, oh, I have to walk on eggshells. Speaker 1: (03:21) And then it bleeds into our lives. So when we are even out of the relationship, whether it's someone in your childhood, whether it's a romantic situation, you have really been conditioned to sacrifice your wants and needs. And we have these fears built in now of upsetting the narcissist. Yes. But it bleeds into our life of we now are often afraid of conflict. In my experience, I will say this, I'm a bold, fierce lady, okay? I've always had a stronger personality. So for me, this showed up just with a certain type of personality. I had no trouble with certain people saying, Hey, this is how I feel. But it was only peo

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing for the month of May with VIP PRICING! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 SUICIDE HOTLINE: just dial 988 Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome back to the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse series here on, but still she thrives. And today we are gonna focus on helping heal depression. Depression is a very real thing. I've gone through it myself. It can be a dark place. Some symptoms of depression are low energy, feeling very sad and hopeless. Thoughts of self-harm or suicide, irritability, changes in eating behavior, sleeping changes, loss of interest in hobbies and activities. Just not feeling up to doing the things we like to do and difficulty concentrating or even just making simple decisions. I do wanna start this episode out saying if you have depression and it is out of control, having any self harm or suicidal thoughts, you feel like you just can't get out of it, I would like you to seek help. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the suicide hotline. I will put the phone number in my show notes. Speaker 1: (00:56) If you have depression and it's not exactly to that level, but you really want help, I highly advise seeking therapy. And don't forget that there is online therapy. If you don't find someone that's a good fit locally, there is always online options. So let's dive into some of the ways you can help to accelerate your healing with depression after narcissistic abuse. As we know, recovering from narcissistic abuse is a very complex and challenging journey. I mean, that's a given. That's why I'm here. That's why I have this podcast, right? But it can lead to really deep emotional wounds, including depression. So the effects of this type of abuse can have a huge impact on your mental health and your physical health, right? So it's very important to remember that healing and reclaiming that inner happiness, which is possible, I promise. It is possible. It's having that faith, right? Speaker 1: (01:47) So today we're gonna explore strategies to help you support your recovery through this journey. Number one, first, as I mentioned, please seek professional help if you have depression. This can be a hard hole to climb out of, and it's very difficult to do alone. It's a serious mental health condition. And it often does require that professional support. So, like I said, reach out to a qualified therapist, find someone locally, find someone online. There are so many options with the internet now, so reach out and get help. It is not weak. And especially if this has been ongoing, it's really important to have support. There can be a stigma against therapy, or maybe you had a bad experience with a therapist. I urge you to try again. It is kind of like dating. It's not always gonna be the first therapist that you go into their office. Speaker 1: (02:36) It's a perfect match, right? I have gone through a couple where I was just like, what in tarnation? Did I just say Tarnation? Does anyone say Tarnation? I don't think that's a thing we should say no. But, uh, one experience I had, I literally was like, how is this person a therapist? Right? So you may have to kind of date around, but it is worth the effort to find somebody who can fully support you and help you on this journey. Because like I said, you really do need support. Number two, practice self-compassion. This one is hard sometimes, especially if you're like, you know, knee deep in depression. You don't have tons of compassion. But really try to be gentle with yourself. You know, the self-compassion is essential to counteracting the negative beliefs that have entered your brain and caused this cycle, right? Um, you've been told a lot of things for a

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing for the month of May with VIP PRICING! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT FINAL But Still She Thrives Ep 34 Am I the Toxic One - The Answer You May Not Expect arrow_backDashboard Quality:High All changes saved on Temi seconds ago. more_horiz DownloadShare 11:54 00:00 Offset 11:53 18:35 Play replay_5 Back 5s 1x Speed volume_up Volume NOTES Speaker 1 00:00 Today is a juicy topic. Am I the toxic one? I have been asked that. I see it all over narcissistic Facebook pages. People wanna know, am I the toxic one? And I've got some answers for you. Speaker 1 00:16 Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mindf? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1 01:14 I am so excited to do this episode because A, we often will be made out to be the crazy one, the toxic one, right? The narcissist in our life will put blame on us. We know that. But once we get out and we're on the other side, especially, we may say, Hey, maybe I wasn't all these things. So I'm gonna dig in. There's two answers to this. There's a no, none of this is your fault and you are not the narcissist. Like if you are even asking, am I the narcissist, you're probably not because narcissists are not self-aware. They don't even think they could be a narcissist. So the odds of that are very low. Do you have any toxic traits by nature or that have been formed because of your relationship? Maybe. So let's dig in. So like I said, the fact you're here, you're trying to learn, you're trying to grow, is a very not narcissistic trait, right? Speaker 1 02:11 It's also a not so toxic person trait. Does that mean you are free of any toxic tendencies that may be due to toxic relationships in your childhood, in your romantic hood, in your friendships, whatever it is that you learned or used as a response to someone else's toxic trait? Maybe. So we're gonna ask some questions. You can ask these questions to yourself and be honest, truly dig in. If you wanna figure out am I the toxic one? Do I have any toxic traits, right? The first one, are you only concerned with yourself? So this is a big narcissistic trait and it can be a toxic person trait. In general. Are you concerned with yourself? Are you self-absorbed? Everything's all about you. Everything always comes back to talking about you or your feelings, whatever, whatever odds are. If you are with a narcissist, you are probably sort of the opposite, A people pleaser. Speaker 1 03:07 But once you are out of this situation or nearing getting out, you may start to build up that confidence and start to say, Hey, what about me? And that's great. I love that you're a queen. Do more of that. And at some point though, the the pendulum may swing the other way where you get like, wow, this is my time and it is your time. You get that self-care, but don't lose your, the sweet part of you, right? Like don't lose that caring for other people. Don't throw othe

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about How to Help Heal Anxiety and Fear After Narcissistic Abuse Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing for the month of May with VIP PRICING! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE: https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, my beautiful queen Bees. Today we're talking more about the effects of narcissistic abuse. If you are jumping in new here, welcome. We are doing this whole series on the effects of narcissistic abuse, psychologically, mentally, emotionally, all of fun. So stick around for how to help heal anxiety and fear after narcissistic abuse. Speaker 1: (00:26) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with? I'm wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:23) All right, so we know surviving, narcissistic abuse can take a lot of courage and resilience, but the journey toward healing does not end once the relationship is over. Once you've disconnected, often survivors are left grappling with anxiety and fear that linger long after the abuse has ended. So these emotional wounds can be very overwhelming, but it's essential to remember that healing is possible, right? Having that faith has been a big part of my journey. So today we're gonna explore strategies to help you navigate and overcome some of those anxieties and fears. Empowering you to reclaim that inner strength. Cuz girl, I see it. I know it's there. Let's do this. First of all, you have to validate your feelings, right? It's the first step really, in any form of abuse, acknowledging it and saying, yes, yes, this was abuse, this was bad. It's okay that I have these effects, these psychological effects, whatever sort of effects, it's okay and it's normal in this situation that I'm in, right? Is this situation a common thing? No. We are warriors who have survived some of the craziest type of abuse out there. So it's okay to validate your feelings. These people made us feel completely crazy, like things were our fault. Like we were crazy, like we were perceiving things incorrectly, that we were just paranoid, that we were sensitive, you know, all the things they called us. Okay? So you're out of it. I want you to breathe. Put your hand to your heart and say, my feelings are valid. I'm serious. I'm gonna give you a moment. Speaker 1: (03:06) Really s just suck it all in. Like it's okay. It's okay that there may be some resistance there too. This is why I'm big on affirmations, repeating these things daily in the morning before you go to bed. My feelings are valid, is a really important affirmation for people who have gone through such abuse. Another standard, I did it myself, is seeking professional help. This stuff is hard to go through alone. I highly suggest reaching out to myself of course, because this is what I do. Very specific to this type of abuse. I have a lot of knowledge, a lot of experience, and it's fun to work with me. So yay. Or a therapist, I always will say a therapist who has experience in their own lives with narcissism is going to be very beneficial. Okay? So someone w

Top 3% in podcasts globally This week we talk about the ways to rebuild self esteem after narcissistic abuse. Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing for the month of May! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE!!! https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT

Top 3% in podcasts globally This weeks starts the series on the Psychological Effects of Narcissistic abuse and how you can start your healing journey in relation to each one! Let me help you with 1:1 coaching special pricing for the month of May! One spot left! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE!!! https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ FREEBIE TIME! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) I am so excited to start this series. This is all about the long-term psychological effects of narcissistic abuse. This is something I go really deep into with my clients and we work on it one-on-one and their customized plan. But I'm starting this series to help more people know about what those effects are, and we'll go as we go on in the series, we will touch on each one more deeply and about how specifically we can help heal each wound. Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:32) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies. Let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:30) The long-term psychological effects of narcissistic abuse can be significant and have a lasting impact on the victims. So we're gonna talk today about some common effects that survivors may experience. Let us dive on in. So first, a big one, low self-esteem. Pretty much every client I work with, every victim I've spoken to and myself has had narcissistic abuse that results in lower self-esteem. It often involves consistent criticism, belittling and demeaning behavior, right? So obviously over time, especially if you've been in a really long-term relationship, whether it's during your childhood or a romantic relationship or even a friendship, this can erode a person's self-esteem leading to feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. I know for myself, between my childhood and my adult sh in between there, starting at a young age because I was put down and told that I was stupid or I wasn't interesting or whatever it was that my narcissist used to say to me to make it as if I was not as smart as them. Speaker 1: (02:46) I was not as good as them would know the right buttons to push that over time. And honestly, pretty quickly in my childhood, I became a person who believed that they were not, not capable enough, especially in the academic area, which I was smart. I am smart, right? We all have our strengths in any academic area. One may be more than the other, like English and creative versus scientific and math, whatever. But I was convinced I wasn't really good at anything. Even though I was in honors classes, I felt like it was almost imposter syndrome. Like maybe I'm just somehow getting by somehow. That's not really true. I was really brainwashed that I was stupid. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. A lot of us are made to feel like we are not as valuable as the narcissist. We are not smart, we are not capable. Speaker 1: (03:40) They want us to be dependent on them and to need them. So they will reiterate and repeat how not intelligent we are in some form. And this completely will trash our self-esteem as time goes on. So if you have low self-esteem, if you have low self-worth, you are not alone. And it makes absolute sense

Top 3% in podcasts globally Join me and special guest Carol Lorraine in a conversation about how much narcissistic abuse can affect your life, but you can still come out thriving! The book Carol mentioned: Getting the Love You Want GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE!!! https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Work with me HALF PRICE for the month of May! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:02) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still, she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with, and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought, and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 2: (01:00) And I have a special guest today. I'm so excited to have on. This is my friend, my personal friend, Carol Lorraine, and she is the owner of Sizzling Marketing Group. She is a marketing genius. She actually helps me with my marketing, and she has been a client of mine and we're friends, so we have a lot of history together. Um, I'm so excited to have you on. Welcome. Speaker 3: (01:25) Thank you. I'm so excited to be on your podcast. I'm a fan, I'm a fan of her podcast. . I've, I keep learning through it as well, even though I've been studying this for a while. But I always learn something new. So I tell people that as well. Like, just listen, you're, you'll learn something new, a new perspective, something. Speaker 2: (01:43) Yes. Yes. And Carol, like she said, she has done some research and education herself on narcissistic abuse and had her own experience. So I guess we can start there. What has your experience been with narcissistic abuse up to this point in your life? ? Speaker 3: (02:01) Uh, I definitely have been in a romantic relationship with one. Didn't really realize that until later when I started learning more about it. But that was, yeah, I've had some relationships where there were the narcissistic behaviors going on. I definitely understood back then it was like, this is not what I want. But I understood more later about avoiding attachments, narcissistic behaviors. There's obviously a spectrum on it, so not everyone's like horrible, but they do have tendencies. So, Speaker 2: (02:39) Yes. So what, what point or the culmination of things, what made you kind of want to dive deeper to get that deeper understanding? Similar to my situation where I just reached a point, um, did you have a specific point where that hit or that light bulb was like, I really wanna dive deeper and like really understand what's going on with the whole narcissism thing, because it's such a word that's thrown around and not used correctly and all of that. So Speaker 3: (03:07) Yes. It was when, it was a few years ago, I think I caught it on YouTube or something. It was a clip of Oprah and Kate Hudson, and they were talking about relationships, talking about how we attract certain people in our lives, certain types of relationships. And they mentioned some book, and I don't remember the name, but I'll find it. And that way you can link it mm-hmm. . But it was, um, they were speaking such high praise about it. And Kate Hudson said, this book inspired me to break up with a relationship at that time. And she said, it's because I realized why I attracted that man in my life. And I realized why I attract