NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

Top 3% in podcasts globally We know that Narcissists can leave some damage, but let's talk about the one that needs to get attention right now! Listen in to todays' episode for more... GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE!!! https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Work with me HALF PRICE for the month of May! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 Transcript: Speaker 1: (00:00) Good morning, good afternoon, or goodnight, wherever you are. Hello, I'm so glad you joined me. And today I have a special episode talking about a wound, a narcissistic wound, of course, that people don't really talk about. And maybe it's not so obvious, even though I would say a hundred percent of us have. So stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:22) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with? I'm wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:20) We have talked about effects of narcissistic abuse. There are many, many, many of them. And in today's episode, we're gonna talk about the one that pretty much everybody has. I've had it, all my clients have it. It's something that's underlying and it's something that we have to maintain because of the level of narcissistic abuse and what it does to our mind, body, and dang soul, okay? It is chronic fatigue. When you have been exposed to narcissistic abuse, your nervous system, it gets stuck. You are stuck in that survival mode. You're always walking around on eggshells, right? You're hyper aware of everything going on around you, and you know you're listening, you're looking, your senses are always heightened in your environment to protect yourself and stay safe. I can remember back when I was going through narcissistic abuse, especially the physical abuse, just that fear of what's on the other side of the door. Speaker 1: (02:21) Do I need to protect myself? And it's just that fight flight fawn, whatever mode you go into, but you're always on. Every part of you is just always on. I mean, that sounds tiring enough. But what happens is when you are on that, you're running on adrenaline, you're running on cortisol, you're running on these stress hormones, right? So once you disconnect, once this person isn't in your daily life, once, you're not having to have that protection and that armor on so tight, there's no longer this constant dependency on stress, right? And those hormones that it actually will cause fatigue. I was kind of thinking about it in comparison. I mean, it's kind of off, but you'll get my comparison. I like analogy. So here we go. So I was comparing it to when I was like so focused, and you all can probably relate when you're so focused on studying for finals or some huge test. Speaker 1: (03:21) But let's do finals, because usually that's multiple classes. You know, it can be a couple of weeks of really preparing. Or if you're like me, a procrastinator, maybe a couple days and, but you're thrown into something, maybe pulling all nighters, putting your own self-care aside, over stuffing that brain. But imagine that times a million with trauma and abuse thrown into it and needing to stay safe during that time, which is often way more time than the time you would spend to prepar

Top 3% in podcasts globally Obsessive thoughts got ya down? Listen in on this week's episode for 5 ways to stop your ruminating thoughts after narcissistic abuse GET ON MY WAITLIST FOR MY UPCOMING COURSE!!! https://queensofpeacewaitlist.lpages.co/early-bird-waitlist/ Work with me HALF PRICE for the month of May! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Oh my Queens. This one's a hard one. These obsessive thoughts. I have so many clients come to me with this. I went through this. I remember not being able to concentrate at work. Literally having to go to the bathroom and be like, okay, get it together. Focus, because of my narcissistic situation inside of it. And even after we disconnected, it almost became worse in a different way, even though I was actually the one who broke it off with the narcissist. So cozy up, get a little drink, let's hang out. Let's talk about how to stop these obsessive thoughts, how to help stop them. We can't stop them immediately right away, but there are a lot of ways to do that. Also, the podcast episode before this is more about why we have these obsessive thoughts, especially after a narcissistic, abusive situation. So check that out either now or, or save it and listen to it later. Stay tuned for five glorious ways to help us with these obsessive thoughts. Speaker 1: (01:06) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (02:03) All right? So first of all, remember, give yourself grace and patience with this process. Nothing is overnight, but it is possible to undo this damage and find peace and freedom from narcissistic abuse. So the first thing I'm gonna say, and this is one that helped me earlier on in the journey, especially when I had to just get out of my head immediately, and that is changing your environment. And it sounds simple, but you've gotta stir up that motivation to do it. First of all, you can't do it without doing it, but change your environment. I would literally go outside, like I said, even if I was at work, if I couldn't get outta my head, I would be like, all right. Hmm. Taking a little elevator ride down to the first floor and going outside, just shaking it off, saying, you know, saying hi to people, even in the lobby of my office, whatever, kind of distracted my brain a little bit to break the the cycle. Speaker 1: (02:59) So changing your actual environment, especially if you have time, you can go and hang out in nature. You can go for a run, pick up the phone, call a friend. Don't talk about the narc though. You've gotta make decisions and choices too, right? So change your environment and change. Change the thoughts, right? Like decide to talk about something else. If you are going to call someone or watch a funny show, like I said, get out, go to a store. I feel like it's a lot easier to get into our heads and really spiral down if we are sitting in our home alone in a quiet space, right? And over time we will have to find other coping mechanisms. But in the very beginning, that was something super helpful and it's something I still use today. I mean, in general with life stresses, that is one

*Top 3% in podcasts globally Do you have obsessive thoughts about a narcissist in your life? In today's episode I share 4 reasons you can't stop thinking about them or the situation. Work with me for onlly $97 for the month of May! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade EPISODES MENTIONED: What is GASLIGHTING? (ep 23) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-23-what-is-gaslighting-the-narcissists-favorite-8/id1662241353?i=1000610540022 The Cycle of Abuse: (ep 6) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-6-the-cycle-of-abuse-and-how-to-avoid/id1662241353?i=1000596278747 WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) Welcome to, but still she thrives. On today's episode, we are going to talk about all of those nasty, annoying sleep, disturbing stomach ache, causing obsessive thoughts we have over the narcs in our lives. Why can't we stop thinking about them? Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:19) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:17) So I have had more than five clients recently talk about how disruptive the thoughts are, even after disconnection, even when you're out of the relationship. What is going on that I'm still obsessing, I'm still thinking about whether it's the narcissist, the relationship, what they did wrong. There are all of these obsessive thoughts. So let's dive into the why today, and then we're also gonna talk about how to help those thoughts in the next episode. So narcissists tend to target empaths and people who are more thoughtful by nature, right? They're easier targets, lucky us. Woo. So as those types of personalities, we tend to overthink as it is, then you throw in a manipulative narcissist who knows how to create a co-dependent situation with us. If and when we get strong enough to finally get out, which congratulations, by the way, our brain will still be stuck there for a while. Speaker 1: (02:19) And this is normal. This is normal in our situation, okay? For us who we are, and this situation, it's normal. Our brains really want to fix any problem. A lot of us can be people pleasers or we're so trained to please a certain person that our brain wants to fix any problem immediately because we are set up where we feel like, especially in narcissistic, abusive situations, if we don't fix the problem, it's gonna become a bigger problem. We are going to get emotionally or physically abused, right? This is how our brain is set up. So it is very normal for us to want to fix all the problems. So if we can't figure something out, our brain is going to ruminate, ruminate, ruminate. And with narcissist, it's usually a situation that cannot be fixed without disconnecting from them entirely, right? So if you are in the situation, it's even harder because truly living with a narc, you're going to always have these problems. Speaker 1: (03:21) They're always going to to create this dynamic. When you are disconnected, that's great, that's a huge step forward. But there still is work to be done because your brain is set up this way. So it's still trying to problem solve all the time, and it's trying to figure th

*Top 3% in podcasts globally Does Your Narcissist Ex Miss you? When you go no contact, or they dispose of you, are narcissists capable of missing you? Listen to this podcast episode to get the answer! My FREE 4 MINUTE empowering meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Last episode we talked about going no contact. So I thought, well, why not talk about does your ex narcissist, whether it's romantic friend, family, do they miss you? So we're gonna touch on that in today's episode. Speaker 1: (00:17) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:38) I have had this question come up a lot. Does my narcissist ex whatever? Miss me. First of all, why do we wonder that? Because a good narcissist loves to keep us wondering, right? And we also know that they don't really function like healthy humans. So we get very confused by their emotions, by their communication. So they're confusing beings. We are left with many, many questions, aren't we? But I would love to clear this question up for you today. Okay, so do they miss you? It is somewhat of a complicated answer, but I'm gonna break it down. We are going to use an analogy. Yay. It's analogy time. Alright, we are going to compare this to a drug addict. Their drug and their dealer. You my friend, were their dealer. The energy they sucked out of you to build themselves up. The control they needed was their drug and they are the addict. Speaker 1: (02:30) So though this hurt me a lot to hear, and I know it hurts people when I talk to my clients about it, it's hurt. It's really hurtful, but it's something once you break through the pain of that, it's like such a relief and really empowering and helps you on your healing journey. But honestly, the narcissist, the drug addict, they don't miss the dealer. They don't miss you. They miss what you provided them, okay? You provided them the control they needed the energy they sucked out of you, right? For their own energy feed. You know, if you have studied narcissism, you know what I'm talking about. So the life they sucked out of you and to build themselves up, right? They miss that. They don't miss you as a person. And of course they miss how you made it easier to get their drug. But once they get a new dealer, let's say they move on in a relationship or if it's a friendship, you'll see they quickly move on to new people. Speaker 1: (03:26) That is a common thing with narcissists. Then they will dispose or stop coming after you, right? Because you know right away they freak out. They're like, oh my drug, my drug, I need my drug. Where's my dealer? And so they will claw you trying to get you back. They will try everything. They will try manipulation, they will try sweetness and flowers and cookies. Was that just me? And then they will get mad if you're not responding to it, not giving them what they want. And th

*Top 3% in podcasts globally Narcissists can get you into their sticky web, but there are ways to get out! Listen to today's episode to get more insight. My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Yes, Queens. On today's episode, we are going to talk about going no contact. Ooh, this is my fire. I love this, but I know it can be difficult. So we're gonna talk about the challenges and the benefits. And on Thursday we're gonna talk about does your ex miss you during the no contact period? Ooh, ooh, the suspense. Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:26) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? And you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:47) First things first. I never list. Now that's not it. First things first, how to go no contact. Okay, so this is I I mean it's pretty simple. No contact as far as what it actually means. It's very straightforward. It is going no contact with the narcissist in your life that you know you are going to be a healthier being if you do not have contact with them. If you absolutely cannot and you are co-parenting or something of this sort, you have to go to my Gray Rock method episode. I will link it below. I think it's episode five, but not sure. So I will link it, um, in my show notes. Alright, so going no contact. First of all, narcissist. Uh, they can really deflect. They can twist things. You know, they're manipulators. So one thing you have to be is very, very, very clear in what your decision is. Speaker 1: (02:37) You have to communicate this to them. You cannot do it all. If you're that strong, more power to you, as I've learned, I think it's more beneficial to state very clearly and simply what it is. So I, you could say something like, I am no longer going to be in communication with you of any kind. Please do not contact me. Now the next one, block all forms of communication. You're saying you do not want to contact them. You have made this decision, you need to mean it. And what helps you do that is blocking them. That can feel awful inside. Blocking seems like a really horrible thing, but horrible people, horrible decisions sometimes result in things that are not so comfortable that we are put in a situation where we have to do them. Such as blocking. It is not to be mean to somebody else. Speaker 1: (03:28) It is blocking to protect your peace. If you are on this journey or, and you're saying, I really want peace, I really wanna be fully disconnected from this person, then this truly is the way to ensure that obviously blocking their email, blocking their calls, blocking their texts, blocking their messenger. What are we in 1999? AOL Messenger? No, but any of the messenger apps on Facebook, Gmail, TikTok, wherever you are, all the social medias, whatever way there is a way for them to contact you, put a wall between you because you no longer want that communication. Right? Right. You ha,

*Top 3% in podcasts globally Narcissists can get you into their sticky web, but there are ways to get out! Listen to today's episode to get more insight. My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE : 800-799-7233 TRANSCRIPT: TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello. So the last episode, we talked about the signs of gaslighting, and today we're gonna talk about if you're being gas lit, five ways to beat a narcissist at their own game. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind f girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:37) All right, does that narcissist got you down? They often use gaslighting as a tactic to take control, right? So I'm gonna talk about five ways to beat a narcissist at their own game. First of all, stand firm in your truth. This is where they can make you feel so crazy. You've got to really be confident in the truth and know, okay, this is a narcissist, or this is a person who is trying to gain control so they will go to any length to make me be convinced that their story is the truth and mine is not okay. So you have to stand really firm in that and don't waiver in your conversations with them and even just in your own mind. Number two, and I preface this with, I come from a family of lawyers. Everyone is very big on documenting everything, writing everything down. Speaker 1: (02:29) It has saved me in many a situation. I mean, legally, personally, I, I write everything down and I, with narcissist specifically, I'm going to say, I've said it before, I am very passionate about this. If you are in, let's say, a co-parenting situation with a narcissist, do not have calls on the phone. If possible, have everything through email and through text. You can go through your lawyers and, um, ask them to make this an, you know, an addendum or add it to your, um, you know, custody papers. You should not have to contact them or them contact you about anything other than your children if it is a custody situation. Cuz in my mind, if you can avoid being in touch with a narcissist at all, we'd love to avoid that. So these situations, you're forced. If you do have someone in your family, you do not feel ready to disconnect totally from, or you have a boss or coworker that you think may be a narcissist, these are ways to help you. Speaker 1: (03:33) I of course, will always say, if you can get away from the narcissist, get away from the narcissist. That's the only way to really beat the narcissist . Okay, so we talked about standing in your truth and writing it down, right? Seriously, I take no risks with the narcissist and of course deal with them as little as possible. That being said, number three is that contact should be short and sweet. So if you do have to have the contact, make it clear and short. You don't have to make it sweet, actually, depending on your situation, you can just be clear and short. I would say also be firm. Like I say, stand in

*Top 3% in podcasts globally A hot buzz word because narcissists are being exposed more and more, as are their tactics like gaslighting. Listen to today's podcast to hear 8 common ways narcissists (or anyone) gaslight their victims. My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) In today's episode, we are going to talk about gaslighting. It is a buzzword, especially over the last few years. So we're gonna dive into it and maybe you're wondering, am I being gaslit? What are the signs of gaslighting? I will let you know. Stay tuned. Speaker 1: (00:17) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.Christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:38) So there are several, several ways that you can be gaslit by a narcissist or, I mean, gaslighting can be a tactic used by people who are not narcissists, but narcissists definitely use a lot of these ways to get what they want. So number one, that is a pretty clear sign, especially if it's a pattern, is getting super defensive when you are just having a normal conversation asking a normal question that they will then turn against you. We'll get into that too. But watching their body language, seeing their response and their defensiveness when you are going about a normal conversation or a normal question, is definitely a sign. Number two, complete denial. They know it did happen, but they're so convincing they can make you believe that it did not. Um, especially over time, like you can really start to feel cuckoo. Like wait, they're so convincing. Speaker 1: (02:40) They look like they believe it honestly. They usually do not believe it, but they are so hellbent on being right and not being wrong that they will even try to convince themselves of another story or in the moment just defend, defend so much so that you start questioning yourself and then they take advantage of that and they can get you to agree with what they're saying or even twisting the story, which is comes to our next. Number three is twisting the story. May like, they're like, maybe it happened, but it's not, it's not what you remember, but you know the truth. Like you're there going, wait, I was there, I remember this happen. And they have this way of twisting the stories, twisting the narrative. They may twist the blame. Well, often they do twist the blame. That's very common, right? So a lot of twisting going on, twisting the story, twisting the blame. Speaker 1: (03:38) And that leads to the next one, which is the reversal. So they reverse everything. Like you come to them with, you know, maybe a request, maybe a boundary, maybe getting further information on something. It could be in conflict, it could not. But once they get that defense up, like we talk about number one, they will what I call the reversal, they will reverse it and deflect away from them having the accountability, right? So that again, it'll make you feel crazy. And then you're on the defense, r

*Top 3% in podcasts globally If you have been through narcissistic abuse or any trauma in your life, you are holding negative, nasty energy, literally in your cells, in your body. So this is an amazing, amazing practice that I discovered just a few years ago myself. That was a huge impact on my healing. Yin Yoga Video: https://www.youtube.com/live/cuxQxnI9D8w?feature=share My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Ooh, this is gonna be a good one. I am so excited to share with you about yin yoga. Let me tell you, if you have been through narcissistic abuse or any trauma in your life, you are holding negative, nasty energy, literally in your cells, in your body. So this is an amazing, amazing practice that I discovered just a few years ago myself. That was a huge impact on my healing. Speaker 1: (00:27) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And Mindf? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought, and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:48) So I'm gonna just dive right in. Talk about all the good things about yin yoga. First of all, yes, like I said, if you have gone through any sort of trauma abuse, you literally are holding all of this in your body. When I discovered yin yoga, the first time I did it, I was in supported bridge pose. I will, I will let you imagine this. Christy's laying there circa 2020, I think, laying on my back knees up, and then you put like a yoga block under as my yoga teacher, Syd, between the, your crack and your back, right? That little lower back area. And if you don't know about chakras, this is where the sacral is. And there's a lot of, especially for women, a lot of stuff and energy that sits in there. And something about me popping that Sugi up released so much in that moment that I started crying. Speaker 1: (02:41) I'm not saying you're gonna have this the first time. I'm not. I don't know if you'll cry ever, okay? But it was an amazing moment and I fell in love with yin yoga, and I have not looked back. I actually got certified to teach it. So I am a yin yoga teacher. If you want to do a customized personal session with me, I will put in the notes, my email. Everything's always in the show notes, like that's the description of the podcast. So always go there after the show if you're trying to find any information, if you're trying to stalk me and find me. But you can just email me and we can talk about setting up a customized session. But let's talk about the amazing benefits. So what I experience, like I said, I mean that that first time I was like, whew, what just happened? Speaker 1: (03:22) What just happened to me? But we hold this energy. So first of all, talk about the energetics. And that's the biggest impact on me, is how I'm, I'm very mindd in touch with my body and everybody's different. But if you are too, and you can relate to that, like if your body's not okay, your mind's not okay. If your mind is not okay, your body's not okay. I am telling you, you will fall

*Top 3% in podcasts globally Whether you are connected or disconnected from your narcissist, they can still have major effects on you! Here are 5 quick yet effective tips to heal and calm your mind and body. My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Whether you are still connected or disconnected from a narcissist, they can still have power over you. They can trigger you, whether it's in the conversations with them or thinking back on your situation. A lot of triggers can come up. They get in those nooks and crannies and they bring out our insecurities. They make us feel cuckoo bananas, as my grandma used to say. I use other words. So we are going to talk about five quick ways and ways that I definitely used and still use when I am feeling triggered. It still happens in my journey too. You're not alone. Speaker 1: (00:39) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:59) When we feel triggered and emotional, we want a quick fix. Can I get an amen? So I have found these five things to be the best. They're not the only methods or techniques to use, but these are five that I use and I love. So number one is yin yoga. I discovered this a few years ago and now I teach yin yoga cuz I love it that much. And I do classes, I do one-on-one sessions. But in the moment, even when you are having this kind of visceral reaction to a narcissist or to memories of a narcissist or things that are brought up because of a narcissist, it is so helpful to even just hold a yin yoga position for a few minutes. Yin yoga is so good at releasing the negative, really just, ugh, that awful energy you carry when you're getting triggered. And yin yoga, for me, I, I love all yogas, but yin yoga is my jam. Speaker 1: (02:57) It gets into the deep, deep parts physically and mentally that for me, other yogas did not reach. So I am a big advocate. It is, you don't need to be flexible, you don't need to be advanced in yoga. It is so simple, but so freeing. So with my coaching clients now, I do provide sequences, like customized sequences for them. It's all related to releasing trauma, releasing those negative energies, stagnant crap that's sitting in our bodies. And you can go online, you can find different things. If you sign up with me for coaching, I will create a sequence for you. I also, I'll put in the show notes. I have a YouTube class up. Um, I just made it public so I could share it with you guys. If you want an example, there's like a 45 minute letting go of, of negative energy sequence that I do on there. Speaker 1: (03:50) So you can check that out on my YouTube channel. But in the meantime, you can always go look up, um, yin yoga poses or yoga poses even that are related to releasing negative energy, having to do a trauma, any of that. But if you want something more specific, you can email me at fierce mama m a m a c gmail.com if you want to, yo

*Top 3% in podcasts globally This episode is for ANYONE, narcissistic abuse or not, who wants to find or nurture friendships as an adult. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Happy Friday. Might not be Friday for you. Maybe you're listening to this on another day. Have a happy other day of the week. But today we're gonna talk about little tips and tricks to make and make a friend. Just one, no, make friends as an adult. Um, we talked about this earlier in the week, um, more about why it's hard, especially for people who've been through abuse. So I'm not doing my regular intro and outro today. I'm just hamming it on up myself. I feel like dodos do too. That's a lot of dues due to allergies, my throat scaling me. But I promised you guys an episode, so I'm going to give it to you. We also went to the aquarium yesterday in Baltimore, Maryland. Highly recommend it is so, so fun. But I've been running, just running. It's our spring break this week, and I've just been running and kind of run down and I was like, I still have to do my episode. Speaker 1: (00:55) Ah, so let's dive in. Look, we're gonna do like a fake new intro. It'll be like, but still she thrives, but still she thrives. My throat is not thriving, but still she thrives. All right, so let's dig, dive on in. Also, if you don't know who I am, by the way, I'm Christy, you probably got that part so far. But I am a narcissistic recovery abuse coach and I work with people, usually do weekly calls. I'm working on creating a course. But if you're interested in working with me, just go to my website, which is www.christyjade.com/workwithme and find the ways to work with me. Or you can always message me or email me at [email protected]. So early in the week, we talked about friendships and how they can be hard, especially if you have been through abuse. Speaker 1: (01:52) There's walls up, there's fears, there's insecurities. And even if you haven't, those things can happen. Or if you've been hurt by a friend trying to regain that trust or put your wall down, which my thing, I've had a little wall, I've pulled it down recently, so that's why I was talking about this all with you. So today I wanted to discuss things that have helped me kind of first put my wall down and also, you know, try to find new friendships and nurture my old. So I guess first things first, first things first. I'm the realist. Anyone name that tune. Um, first thing is, uh, kind of realizing that I had a wall and I guess I did realize, but then I was like, I am an extrovert. And in general, we all, no matter introvert or extrovert, we do need people. We need community, whether we wanna admit it or not. Speaker 1: (02:49) And I was feeling kind of a void there. So recently I was like, you know what I need? I need to bash this wall down. It's getting old, it's getting crusty. We don't want it there anymore. So it's first like realizing you do have a wall or maybe you're a little jaded or whatever it is, and saying like, I am making a decision to take this down. And that is gonna also mean that I am going to have to change my ways, right? Sometimes we want change without actually like having to do the work. , imagine that. Um, and that's why I say like with my coaching clients, I'm like to make changes, you actually have to make changes like in how you go about your every day, right? You're like daily to-dos and your efforts are going to change. So if you really wanna make a change, you gotta make some changes. Speaker 1: (03:39) Sounds simple, but a lot of people really want that magic pill and it doesn't exist. Or it might be illegal. I don't know. So I made this decision that I was going to put more effort in with a people I already knew, but I was like, you know, they're kind of on the outskirts of my life, not my daily life, but I really enjoy them. And they may not be exactly like, it's almost like we have this idea for me of like this best friend tha

*Top 3% in podcasts globally This episode is for ANYONE, narcissistic abuse or not, has been hurt or insecure in friendships and is struggling to find true friendship later in life. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) What's up? Welcome to, but still she thrives. It's Christy. We're gonna have like a kickback. Let's just be real. Let's be transparent and let's talk about something that more than just people who have dealt with narcissistic abuse can relate to today. And that topic is how it can be hard to make or maintain friendships as we get older. And yes, having abuse in your childhood or even in your relationships can have an impact. We'll talk about that and then we'll just talk about how certain situations with friends can really have an impact on future friendships. Speaker 1: (00:41) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now. Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or at pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (02:02) Honestly, this episode, I just wanted to be very forthcoming. I wanted to open up a little, you can get to know me a little better and just how certain things have affected me in my life, in friendships, um, not just relationships or not just related to narcissism. I thought I'd just have a very open conversation about this. And I mean conversation. I want you guys to email me or write in the Facebook group. Um, those things are on how to contact me are always in the show notes, aka the description of this podcast on wherever you're listening it. So let's start off. First of all, for those people who have gone through narcissistic abuse, this can have a huge impact on our relationships and our friendships. Um, that's something we don't always talk about. For me, dealing with narcissism really created some big insecurities in me. Speaker 1: (02:58) I had some confidence in some areas, but when it came to relationships or even friendships, I was trying to make up for a loss, right? Like I almost created a family with my friendships. So very dependent on friends, like they were like my family. I felt very close and connected to my friendships that I formed. I was very good at keeping up with them and keeping close to them. That's something I'm really still good at, um, especially in my inner circle of people. That is something people have even noticed and noted about me my whole life. And I think part of that is, yes, I'm an extrovert and whatever that, that plays into it, but I think it's also when you feel like there's a disconnect and you're not treated well by some members of your family that you're around, it's, it feels safer and more comfortable to create your own space, right? Speaker 1: (03:57) Like I would not be home as much as maybe the typical person. I would stay out, I would stay over friends' houses a lot to kind of build that safety and security that I did not feel. So as I got older, um, like I said, I'm an extreme ext

*Top 3% in podcasts globally HOUSE OF RUTH HELP/RESOURCES AND DONATION/VOLUNTEER INFORMATION BELOW: House of Ruth, Domestic Violence Support Center – www.houseofruth.org; 202/667-7001, x515 (free, confidential counseling for trauma and abuse survivors) • Office of Victim Services, Victim Hotline – www.DCvictim.org; 1-800-844-5732 (4HELPDC) • National Domestic Violence Hotline – www.thehotline.org; 1-800-799-7233 • DC Volunteer Lawyers Project - www.DCVLP.org Resources- Adolescents and kids • Veto Violence- dating violence prevention training for teachers, coaches, school personnel, youth leaders https://vetoviolence.cdc.gov/apps/datingmatters/ • Kids Help Line- online resource for broaching difficult topics for kids 5+ https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues • Love is Respect- safe dating resource for teens with phone/text support https://www.loveisrespect.org/ • Teen Dating Violence Prevention Guide- icebreakers and activities https://www.communitysolutionsva.org/files/Building_Healthy_Relationships_Across_Virginia_Unit • ChAMPS- on-call, mobile mental health emergency service for DC youth www.dbh.dc.gov; (202) 481- 1440. Want to learn more about donating or volunteering? You can contact House of Ruth chief development officer Elizabeth Kiker via email at [email protected] ----------- Christy Jade Coaching info: EMAIL ME TO FILL THE LAST SPOT in my coaching for limited pricing of $50 (normal price $200): [email protected] Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:02) Welcome to, but still she thrives. We have a very special guest today, Leona Brannan, and she works for the House of Ruth. And this is a resource I wanted to share with you guys who are local to the DC Maryland area. So we're really just, uh, gonna share this information and share what the House of Ruth does. So welcome Leona. Speaker 2: (00:28) Thank you. Thank you for having me, Christy. Speaker 1: (00:31) Yes. Thank you for being here. So we'll just dive right in. What is the house of Ruth's mission? First, we'll start there . Speaker 2: (00:39) Sure, sure. So the House of Ruth, we were founded in 1976 by a Georgetown University professor named Veronica Madz. Um, she noticed in teaching her students and taking them out in DC to do volunteer work, she noticed that she walked past a homeless man laying on the street in DC mm-hmm. how she felt passing him by. Speaker 1: (01:03) Yeah. Speaker 2: (01:03) And really understanding there are major issues and challenges that can need to be met when it comes to the unhoused homelessness. Um, and particularly for women. Um, and especially for women who are leaving domestic violence situations. Um, so our mission essentially is to empower women, children, and families to rebuild their lives and heal from trauma and abuse and homelessness. You know, our services include support enriched housing for families and for single women. Mm-hmm. Also, trauma-informed care via our developmental daycare, kids space and free counseling at the D V S C or domestic violence support center where I work. Um, and that's designed to empower anyone regardless of gender, who are survivors of trauma and abuse. Speaker 1: (01:50) That, that's awesome. I love that. And just before we continue, what specific area of people are looking for this resource? One of the many that you offer, which, you know, I didn't even know the childcare aspect until I talked to you previously. So there's just, there's a lot of stuff you guys do, but specifically what area do you serve if someone is looking for this? What are the, I guess, limitations geographically? Speaker 2: (02:14) Definitely. So for housing, um, the main eligibility requirement is to be a DC resident. Okay. Um, we're grant funded for our housing programs and also for our, um, counseling services. So we have different stipulations for housing. That's one of 'em. You have to have, uh, DC residency established mm-hmm. and you work with the team fro

*Top 3% in podcasts globally Does trying to co-parent with a toxic person drive you up the wall and you feel like you don't know how much more you can take? In today's episode I discuss what NOT to do when co-parenting with a narcissist. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider EMAIL ME TO FILL THE LAST SPOT in my coaching for limited pricing of $50 (normal price $200): [email protected] Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Transcript Speaker 1: (00:00) One of the most important things when co-parenting with a narcissist is the obvious. You want to protect your children and it may be hard to protect them. A narcissist is not so fun and can manipulate, can drag them into it. There's a lot of tough things. But stay tuned for four ways to protect your kids. Speaker 1: (00:26) Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course, Speaker 1: (01:46) You do have somewhat of a lack of control when you are co-parenting with a narcissist. So we have to focus on what you can control. Number one, talk to your child. And this is a very fine line, so I want you to be discerning when you are talking with your child. Um, it's, you know, you're trying to help them understand their other parent's behavior. If it's that bad that you feel the need to talk about it, make it age appropriate. Teach them that their parent's behavior is about that parent. I can't stress this enough and without totally trash talking, cuz we just talked about in the last last week's episode, we don't wanna trash talk the narcissist to our child. We don't wanna involve in get in all the drama, right? If the child brings up something like, why doesn't daddy X, Y, z? Why is mommy talk like this? Speaker 1: (02:39) Whatever The thing is that as they bring things up, it's important to respond in a very factual, emotionless way and say, you know, not everyone has the kindness and not everyone has the compassion that you and I do. While they don't have it, they do love you. They're, you know, if it's something about how they're treating the child and if it's abusive, obviously you wanna go to the authorities, but just, you know, if there's a disconnect or if they're dismissive of their feelings, things that they can't lose custody over but can still sting, you can just say, you know, they may not have compassion the way that you and I do and it means nothing about you. It's so important to let them know it has nothing to do with you and it's a them problem, you know, so be, again, very careful walking that fine line of trash talking versus simply explaining in a logical, very simple kind of flat, emotionless way, which can be hard. Speaker 1: (03:42) So you might need to take a breath and say, you'll explain later. If it's in the middle of something or you're having, you know, sympathy,

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Does trying to co-parent with a toxic person drive you up the wall and you feel like you don't know how much more you can take? In today's episode I discuss what NOT to do when co-parenting with a narcissist. Mentioned Episode: The Grey Rock Method: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-5-how-to-handle-narcissistic-abusers-the-grey-rock/id1662241353?i=1000594909977 Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider EMAIL ME TO FILL THE LAST SPOT in my coaching for limited pricing of $50 (normal price $200): [email protected] Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Transcript Speaker 1: (00:00) Look, being a parent is hard enough, but when you have to co-parent with a narcissist, ooh, mm-hmm. , it is downright impossible. Rather than being selfless about parenting, co-parenting with a narcissist means both parents have to take responsibility for themselves and their child's wellbeing. And while we know this is nearly impossible for narcissist, it's not for you. Lucky you, your child's wellness falls basically on you as the healthy parent. But good news, you got this. Stay tuned for five things not to do when co-parenting with a narcissist. Speaker 1: (00:40) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind f girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (02:02) So it seems like you cannot co-parent with a narcissist, let me be frank. It just seems that way. And technically you cannot totally win in co-parenting with a narcissist, but you can manage it a lot better and learn the ways to deal with them so that you can raise the healthiest child possible and try to keep yourself healthy as well. So before we dive into what not to do, we're gonna talk a little about the things that they will be doing as narcissistic co-parents. Okay? So, so you can be prepared if you're not already in the weeds with them, or you can validate your own suspicions now. So there are some things they'll do. They will try to manipulate you. They will try to make you feel guilty. Any chance they get, they will try to make you feel sorry for them. Pull on the old heartstrings. Speaker 1: (02:52) They may try to make you feel like they are the victim. Actually, usually they will, let's be honest. And they will try to triangulate and use other people, including your own children. Hopefully not, but they may against you. So these are things to be aware of, and as always, they will never stop trying to gain control of you, your child or any situation. And that is in the last couple of episodes, cover a lot of that whole control situation and why they do that, all of that stuff. So let's dive into what not to do. Number one, this is one of my top suggestions. Don't take the bait. Don't argue. They make it very hard to win an argument. They often talk in circles to confuse you and overwhelm yo

*Top 5% in podcasts globally It drove me nuts not understanding why narcissists did what they did. Then I figured out and it changed the game! Listen to this week's episode to find out the one reason they do what they do! Mentioned Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-14-how-to-stay-calm-and-in-control-during/id1662241353?i=1000604104790 Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider EMAIL ME TO FILL THE LAST SPOT in my coaching for limited pricing of $50 (normal price $200): [email protected] Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) I have had so many clients say, why do they do this? Why do they do this? The surprisingly simple answer is coming up very shortly, Speaker 1: (00:13) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.Com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:34) Part of what blew my mind and confused me for so long was not knowing why narcissists behaved the way they did. Was it just something I was doing that caused it? Were they just evil? Were they afraid of rejection? Was it one of those weird self-sabotage things? What was it? After my own experience, education and research, I found out that there's one, one answer and when I unpacked it, it changed everything. I started understanding every single conversation we had, every request they demanded every angry outburst and found real relief that it was never about me doing anything wrong. What was it about drum roll? It was all about control. There are literally two things a narcissist is doing in any conversation with you, especially one with conflict, which let's be honest, that can be majority of the conversation they are trying to gain or keep control of you or the situation or both. Speaker 1: (02:42) Or if you're finally standing up for yourself or even getting to the point you are ready to leave or gone, they are then checking to see if they still have control. Let's give a couple examples. There's like the blatant control threats to control you. Like if you leave the house looking like that, I will not be here when you get back. Hmm, something like that. Sound familiar? Then there's the less obvious control maybe in the form of a guilt trip. Like, well, everyone's girlfriend will be there. I know you have a big test tomorrow, but if you are really supportive, you would come, you would support me, right? Or like I said, after the fact or when you are, you know, setting boundaries with them, testing to see if they still have control and man, do they freak out if they don't? Um, an example of that is, let's say you're disconnecting, they will send you something they know you will have trouble resisting. Speaker 1: (03:40) Like your old song, let's say it's an ex your old wedding song or a funny meme that they know you'll think is hilarious, right? And those little

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Squash those negative thoughts that abuse has caused! These thoughts are BS, and we have no time for them! Let's replace them and build ourselves up! RELATED LINKS: Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider EMAIL ME TO FILL THE LAST SPOT in my coaching for limited pricing of $50 (normal price $200): [email protected] Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1: (00:00) After abuse, you may notice that you have negative thoughts about yourself. You might believe you're not good enough or you can't trust anyone. The good news is it's possible to stop these negative thoughts after abuse, but it takes work and patience. In today's episode, we'll talk about how to recognize those negative self-perceptions and what you can do about them. Speaker 1: (00:22) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind f-Ed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refused to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find alt fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:43) First of all, I want you to repeat after me. That's not my. If you don't wanna say, say stuff, but not your. Do not let the abuser define who you are. You are so much more than the negative comments and actions of this abuser, and it's important for you to remember this. Instead of focusing on the abuser's, negative comments and actions, focus on yourself. Look at what you have achieved in life so far, the good things about you, and how far along the road to recovery from abuse has taken you. Even if you're kind of baby stepping out, you are getting onto the other side of that abuse, right? It's important not only for your mental health, but also for your self-esteem. Number two, write down those negative thoughts. If you've been following me a while, you know I love to write down feelings, so write them down. Speaker 1: (02:32) It's important to identify what your negative thoughts are first and how they can impact you. So when you write them down, it gives you an opportunity to really think about them in detail. You may be surprised at how often these negative thoughts actually pop up in that little brain of yours. I mean, big brain, you got a big beautiful brain. So write down the positive counter-argument. This is one of my favorite things to do with my clients when we're working through the earlier stuff and getting through these thoughts, is reversing this damage that has been done reversing these thoughts that someone else put in your head that are not true. We are going to get to the truth, right? You don't feel worthy because someone else said that. It's not because it's true. So take for example, you feel worthless. Try writing out an alternative viewpoint on the same topic. Speaker 1: (03:22) I am valuable. This will help shift your perspective and provide some balance in your life by reminding you of all the good things about yourself instead of focusing on this b

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Abuse can wreck your motivation during and even after! The 5 second rule helped me and helps many. Here is how to use it in general, and specifically after you have gone through narcissistic abuse. RELATED LINKS: Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Speaker 1: (00:00) , is your motivation non-existent after years of abuse? Do you have ideas of who you wanna be but feel paralyzed to start, stay tuned for a trick I learned years ago that helped me drag my big old butt out of bed and finally be the person I wanted to be. Speaker 1: (00:18) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind F girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me. Whether it's one-on-one coaching or a pre-recorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:39) After disconnecting from a narcissist, the damage does not end. I felt such confusing emotions and was so overwhelmed that I had no motivation in my body. I literally felt paralyzed to make decisions to get my butt out of bed to the gym, or to put myself out there in relationships. One quote I heard that supports this trick I'm about to share is better done than perfect. This has helped me so much in my journey due to lack of confidence from abuse. I question and still do at times myself all the time. Back then also, depression is a thing and it can come immediately after disconnecting from narcissist. I mean, if you're already not down in the dumps, disconnect from one and it does. It does not help the situation other than getting away from them. But the depression can get worse and just the feeling of chaos in your mind can can be worse. Speaker 1: (02:35) So that will impact the motivation you have in your everyday life, right? So after I disconnected from monarchy, I landed upon motivational speaker and author Mel Robbins. If you don't know her, she's amazing. Go check her out. And she is known for this five second rule. It is simple but effective in a nutshell. Here it is. In her own words. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within five seconds or your brain will kill it. So you start counting backwards to yourself from five. So it's obviously 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. As soon as you hit one, you have to physically push yourself to move. You have to take physical action as you count down from five to one, you'll be distracting your brain from coming up with all the reasons why you either should do something else. If it's like you're gonna go to the gym or you're gonna go eat that healthy salad or whatever. Speaker 1: (03:33) Or in a lot of my case, it was just getting out of my head, right? And physically getting up and getting out of that cycle helped. So I would sometimes take it a step further. If you're really ruminating, get out of the room you're in, even start to clean, get out of the house, pick up the phone, call a friend, but physically do som

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Feeling like the damage is done and not sure how or if you will ever get that sparkle back? On today's episode, I share 5 ways to build your confidence after the damage of abuse! RELATED LINKS: Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join my free facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My client's fav meditation I created: https://christyjade.podia.com/4minutemeditation WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Feeling like the damage is done and you have no idea how to get your sparkle back, or maybe you never had a chance to sparkle, then this episode is for you. I will give you five ways to rebuild your confidence after any kind of abuse. Speaker 1: (00:17) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'mChristy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:37) All right, so today we're talking about confidence. I have an interesting relationship to confidence. Maybe some of you can relate to this. I was a class clown. I was energetic. I'm loud, I'm outgoing. And I think a lot of people take that as like, oh, she's so confident, right? I will tell you this, I had very low self-esteem in many parts of my life. Maybe not every single one, but many parts of my life growing up. And that can often be a result of living in some sort of abusive environment where you are maybe dismissed or don't feel good enough, or to the deeper level of emotional physical abuse. So it was a just very interesting relationship I had with it. As I've gotten older and gone through therapy, I've developed what we call real confidence, where I'm not cocky, but I've realized I am worthy just like everybody else in this world. Speaker 1: (02:30) So we'll have a whole other episode on confidence in general. But these are five ways to build confidence. So let's dig in. Number one, self-care, no matter what that made you feel about yourself, and maybe they made you feel like you do not deserve to care for yourself or put yourself first, that's bs. So no matter what you feel like you deserve, you have to start prioritizing yourself. That means positive self-talk, giving yourself grace, eating healthier, not gobbling down bottles of wine and brownies. Maybe I did that at one point. , how we treat our bodies completely affects our minds and vice versa, right? So we've gotta do the physical and the mind body parts as well. That is the physical mind, body, spirit. You know what I'm saying? So after I knocked out abusive people out of my life and started working out four times a week, just that alone, I felt like a new person. Speaker 1: (03:28) So if you don't, you feel like you don't have the motivation like that sounds great, Christy. That's cool. I don't have the motivation to work out four days a week. Well, you need to do the five second rule, which will be my next episode. It's a mini episode. I'm actually sneaking a little bonus episode in this week. So look out for it. If you are not

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Do you feel like your mind body and dang soul are just a wreck after being in a narcissistic abusive situation? Here are 5 ways that helped me recalibrate my nervous system so I could live a life of more joy! They will be total game changers for you, too! MENTIONED LINKS: After abuse we need SIMPLE. I created a planner for busy women just like you to navigate your days easier: https://christyjade.podia.com/shethrivesplanner Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider WORK WITH ME: https://www.christyjade.com/transformational-coaching Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercemamachristy I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Do you feel like your mind, body, and even your dang soul or just a wreck after being in a narcissistic, abusive situation? Stay tuned for five ways to help you recalibrate your nervous system so you can live a life full of more joy. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey Queens, welcome to, but Still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist and you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal Now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had a disconnect from toxic people in my life and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www dot christy jade, that's christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:36) Let's be honest, just because the abuse has ended doesn't mean the damage is over. Unfortunately. You have to recalibrate, rebalance all the things, which it is possible. We're gonna start today with five ways to get your nervous system rebalanced after narcissistic abuse. So when I got out of my situation, I still felt like I was in this state of constant, almost just preparing for the worst. Like everything was always just tight and stressed out. And so I was either like distracting myself and go, go, go doing the work, overachiever mode, all the things running around, cleaning my house just like this super, super hyper focused energy. Or I was like completely depleted. I felt like there was no in between. And I was like, I need to fix this. I need to get a hold of myself, my brain, my body, everything felt spent. And I was like, I want to get balance. Speaker 1: (02:33) So here are some things I did to recalibrate this. Suck it bad. All right? You know what I'm saying? Okay, number one, this is like basics. We're doing 1 0 1 right here. This is like drinking your water, eating the bright, shiny, colorful foods. I was not eating enough veggies, I'll be honest. I'm just not. When you're stressed out all the time, you tend to not take care of your basic needs, right? And good sleep, which I know it can take time. You might need a little therapy to get some better sleep or pop in one of those lovely hills. Not the hard stuff, okay, I'm talking about some melatonin . Number two, get that vitamin D not in a pill form. Get outside, get your butt outside. Not only is vitamin D good for you, but your brain literally changes when you step out into nature. It is an automatic mood boost. Speaker 1: (03:22) And side note, by the way, if you have kids, you can totally use this. I use it to get my daughter out of her cranky cycle. It's like the first thing I do. If she gets cranky, I'm like, we're going outside. Even if it's for two minutes, it works every time. And if I have a little squabble with my hubby, I throw his out the door and in the sunlight too. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Okay, number three, meditate every single day. I don't care. I don't care. If you don't meditate, you're going to Now the big boss

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Not trusting yourself to choose wisely? In today's episode, I will discuss the ways to create healthy relationships after narcissistic abuse. MENTIONED LINKS: Grab my planner here Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider WORK WITH ME: Life Changing Weekly 1:1 Coaching with me Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Are you worried you'll end up in another toxic relationship in your life? This could be a romantic partner or even a friendship. Today we're gonna talk about 10 ways to have healthy relationships after letting go of toxic people. Speaker 1: (00:16) Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? And you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had a disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Are you feeling lost after post narcissistic abuse? I'm your girl. I got you. This is my specialty. Go check out ways to work with me at www.christyjade.com , That's christyjade.com. Click on work with me and find all fun ways you can work with me, whether it's one-on-one coaching or a prerecorded boundaries course. Speaker 1: (01:36) Okay? Story time for me. When I started to really set boundaries in my life, it was not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well. I had not realized what I had put up with and wondered if I even knew what a normal relationship or close friendship looked like. I had some controlling as$ people in my life, and maybe developed some co-dependency, ugh. But now I have an amazing husband and only awesome, uplifting, supportive friends, and I don't tolerate from anybody. It's so peaceful. So there is hope. Let's dive in. Number one, take the time to heal. That could be meditation. It doesn't have to be an hour long meditation, just a few minutes in the morning to start your day. Yoga, journaling time with just you to sort stuff out. It is a process. It's just really letting your body, your mind, your heart, all that stuff kind of sort through. Speaker 1: (02:34) What the heck just happened. All right. This doesn't mean you can't date or go hang out with new people, but make sure you are carving out time for just you to heal on a weekly basis. Number two, forgive yourself. A lot of us carry guilt after we leave an abusive situation. We're in survival mode while we're in it. And don't evaluate and see things like we do when we finally get out. You may think, hell on earth, did I put up with this? Or how did I let my kids see this? There will be a lot of questioning going on, and that is normal, but you did the best you could with what you knew inside of that relationship. So give yourself grace. You're here now climbing out of an ugly dark hole, and you have to focus on the climb up into the light, not looking back, making it harder on yourself. Speaker 1: (03:20) So be proud of where you are now and let that guilt go. Three, evaluate what you want in a relationship, how you wanna feel. Literally write a list of what you want in a relationship. You are probably never asked this before, so it could take a minute. What do you want? How do you wanna feel? What's a deal breaker for you? Now, what are characteristics you want in a partner? Make it fun. I did this years before I met my husband and he hit about 95% of the wants I had. He was an introvert though. I thought I wanted an extrovert. Guess what? I probably didn't want an extrovert. Two extroverts, two wild extroverts in one place can get a little crazy. So sometimes we also think we might want something and that changes. So that's okay too. But I found an amazing guy with a lot of check marks on my list. Speaker 1: (04:11) So there is hope. Number four, take

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! One of the most difficult (and somewhat unexpected) things about going no contact with a narcissist is the others that they pull in to guilt trip you! In today's episode I will talk about the ways to deal with this triangulation. It isn't your fault, and just because others join in on the blame game, doesn't make it the truth. You know your truth, queen! Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade --------- GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello, hello. Today we are going to talk about something that is not talked about so much in regards to dealing with narcissism. As if the wrath of the narcissist after you cut them off is not enough, the guilt others may place on you can be devastating. In today's episode, I will discuss ways to help deal with those guilt trips because ain't nobody got time for that. Speaker 1: (00:27) Hey friends, welcome to the but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for limited time. Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over at https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL call. I would love to help you. Speaker 1: (01:37) When I disconnected from the narcissist in my life, other family members came at me telling me I was ruining the family. I did question myself but knew logically. Of course, the person who actually ruined the family was the one who was, I don't know, physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. Not me. But when you have gone through narcissistic abuse, your mind has been so tattered and twisted and messed up that you go back and forth believing the truth and the narcissist truth. Those are two different things. Spoiler alert. So guilt trips can absolutely work on you. You're an easy target for guilt trips. But I got therapy, which I highly recommend and I worked through that fake news story and created some solid ways to temper the guilt trips. So let's dig into the five ways to deal with it, to navigate all of the lovely guilt trips that may be coming your way. Speaker 1: (02:33) Alright, number one, have a short and simple phrase for when anyone comes at you with. Mine was because I don't mince words. That's. This other person is abusive and that is not my fault. You can do your own lovely little version of it. You don't have to have a curse word in there. I highly recommend it. I love a good and just make it short and simple and always go back to that and repeat it. That is is your, you don't get emotional, you don't fluff away with other words or well, this and that. No, just stick to the basics. Did I mess that up sometimes? Yeah, I'm human. Did I give myself grace? Yes, we need a lot of grace. Okay, number two, hang up, hang up the phone, walk away, leave. Get away from anyone trying to place blame on you for not tolerating abuse cuz that's what it is. Speaker 1: (03:26) I want you to let that sink in. We're actually gonna repeat it. I'm a good repeater. I'm like a parrot. Do not stick around anyone that is placing blame on you for not tolerating abuse. That's what it comes down to. Don't let them twist it into something. It's not. It's plain and simple. You decided to protect your peace. You walked away. You're not tolerating abuse that is healthy. You are the healthy one. Remember that? So you have full permission to say, I'm, I've gotta go. You can be polite about it or you don't have to be polite about it. They're not being polite to

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! Did Bob the abuser have a tough childhood? WELL, maybe...but so did a lot of people. They aren't all out there abusing others. There is no excuse for people treating you like crap. Period. Let's go ahead and look at some of the top excuses we make for toxic people and debunk those excuses. I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade --------- GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok ---------TRANSCRIPT---------- Speaker 1: (00:00) In today's episode, we are going to talk about all the excuses that we give abusers. I've been there, I've done it. My clients have done it. You are listening here. If you have been the victim of abuse, I'm sure you have given your abuser excuses, you've excused them in your mind to yourself, maybe to other people. And we're here today to talk about what those excuses can look like and let's go ahead and debunk 'em cuz nobody's got time for that. She yet. Speaker 1: (00:35) Hey friends, welcome to the but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I got you. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over@ bitlybt.ly/firstcoachingcall. I would love to help you. Speaker 1: (01:44) So here are the excuses we give abusers. Number one, he had a hard life, he had a rough childhood, whatever. Guess what guys? A lot of people go through a lot of stuff in this world and they're not all out there abusing others. It's unacceptable. It isn't okay no matter what you have been through. It is not an excuse. Number two, it was my fault. I, I got him mad. Okay? No you didn't. You might have said something that he had an emotional response to, but guess what? He gets to control what he does without emotional response. If he is out of control and can't do that, he should seek help and not be in a relationship. It is never your fault. You cannot cause someone else to do something. People need to take accountability for their own actions. Never an excuse. Number three, they apologize. Speaker 1: (02:37) They said it wouldn't ever happen again. They promised newsflash, this is part of the cycle of abuse from the last episode. It is on repeat and it will happen again and most likely it will get worse. Number four, it doesn't happen all the time. Once is enough, it should not not happen more than one time. It shouldn't happen at all one time. But if it happens one time, you should get out. It usually, like I just said, gets worse and it will get more frequent as time goes on. But it doesn't matter. It shouldn't even happen once. And if it does, it's time to remove yourself from the situation. Number five, I know they love me and I love them, okay? People who truly love you do not abuse you. Again, people who truly love you do not abuse you. They may convince you that they do. Speaker 1: (03:31) They may have you believe that this is just, you know, part of them and they're gonna do better. But they love you. They love you, they love you, okay? Love does not look like pain. Love does not look like pain despite what some of those sad songs talk about. Maybe breakups look like pain when you are in love and you are in a healthy relationship that is functioning as it should, it is not a painful relationship. Sure you may have some conflict or disagreements, but it is not abuse and there's a difference. Number six, we have a lot of great times together. You would have even more if he wasn't abusing you. You deserve t

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! Are you just realizing that roller coaster of hell you went through may have been a true abusive cycle? In today's episode, find out the 4 stages of abuse and how to avoid getting sucked back in to a similar situation again. You deserve the world, beauty! Listen up and take notes! Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and narcissistic abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade --------- GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok ---------TRANSCRIPT---------- Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello friends. In today's episode, we are going to talk about the actual cycle of abuse and what to do to avoid getting into an abusive relationship again. Speaker 1: (00:14) Hey friends, welcome to the but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy, Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I got you. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over bitly.com/firstcoachingcall. I would love to help you. Speaker 1: (01:23) So first we're gonna talk about the actual cycle of abuse. There is a actual diagram with a cycle. And when I saw this for the first time in my therapy office, many, many moons ago, I felt overwhelmed with emotions because I thought I was kind of crazy. And seeing this diagram made me feel validated and seen and like this is a real thing. And I felt like I kind of had proof now of the cycle. So let's dive into this cycle. Maybe you already know about it, maybe you don't. And you hear this and you're like, that's me. That happened, that happened, that happened. Oh my gosh. And it will be kind of a mind blow for you. I'm here for you, I'm here to support you. Let's go through those stages. I also first want to remind you, an abusive relationship can be not, it doesn't have to be romantic relationship. Speaker 1: (02:16) It, it often is, but it can be a parent, it can be a sibling, it can be a friendship, it can be your Aunt Tilly, it can be a boss, it can be a gerbil. I had a gerbil to bit my nose. Hey, it's a real thing. Okay, so let's get into the cycle of abuse, but keep that in mind because a lot of us who um, have gone through abuse as a child or choose, you know, abusive relationships, there's something in us that may, that may be a pattern. And we choose abusive, friendships, relationships, et cetera, et cetera. So we can kind of somewhat what they say attract. I don't like to put it that way, but we can attract certain types of people or tolerate certain things because we are comfortable and used to them. So let's dig in. The first phase usually is the calm, okay? Speaker 1: (03:02) That's what starts it off. Usually you meet someone and it's that honeymoon feeling. They're calm, they're on their best behavior, and the relationship is relatively calm and it's peaceful. So, you know, this is where you can kind of get tricked. Okay? This is the honeymoon phase, which most relationships go through. The difference is the extremes and what comes after. So after the calm comes the tension building phase. This is where tensions increase. There's lack of communication and the victim starts to feel fearful or second guessing themselves starts to feel somewhat maybe uncomfortable. And then this can lead to an incident. And why is that? Because the abuser, the controller senses that tension. So they're gonna cause the drama and they're going to make the victim pay for having any emotion or any reaction to whatever has caused the tension, right? So the incident can be verbal, it can be emotional, and it can be physical. Speake

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! In a situation with a Narcissist and can't seem to navigate how to handle the situation? If you cannot go no contact with this abusive person, the next best thing is what is called, "The Grey Rock Method" and this episode is dedicated entirely to it. Because it is that good and effective! Make sure to save this episode, as you surely refer back to it. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider -------- I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Grab the Not My Shit Journal mentioned here Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade --------- GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok ---------TRANSCRIPT---------- Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello Queens. So you've tried everything from being sticky, sweet, and kind to yelling back at a toxic person in your life. Nothing seems to work at keeping them away or stopping their horrible behaviors. Well, in today's episode, we're going to talk about my second favorite technique to use against the toxic and narcissistic abusers called the Grey Rock Method. My first favorite is No Contact . We talked about that in episode four. If you wanna refer back to that one, if you haven't already, and for this episode, trust me, you're going to want to save it and go back to it again and again. Speaker 1: (00:41) Hey friends, welcome to the But Still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christty, Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say now, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over at Bit.ly/firstcoachingcalll. I would love to help you. Speaker 1: (01:50) So I can say from experience, this is the second most successful tool I used against a narcissist in my life. I will not say it was easy, especially at first, but whoa, the results were amazing and continue to be amazing. So, you know, my favorite tool is called Run the F Away Fast. But if you cannot go no contact, if you have shared custody, maybe it's your boss and you need the job desperately, uh, maybe you have adult children that you can't let go of elderly parents, this one is for you. So what is the Gray Rock method? It is exactly that. A gray rock is boring, right? It blends in with everything. It's just kind of there. Nothing can be as boring as a gray rock. The result is being ignored. So you are engaging in no or very minimal response to the toxic person. Speaker 1: (02:45) Not explaining yourself, not defending yourself, not arguing, just, just not, not taking the bait. And you become boring to them. Eventually, I say eventually and no longer a source of narcissistic supply, right? They always need that supply. And over time when you do this, they are not getting what they literally need from you. They want to argue, they want to have conflict with you. So in a normal relationship, it is normal for you to engage. Let's say you're in conflict, it's normal to engage question to pry even to defend your point of view. All of that is very normal when you're having discussions, maybe arguments and anything like that in normal relationship. But when you do that with a narcissist, you will feel the wrath. Do you know the wrath? I think we're all familiar with the wrath of a narcissist. So all of the things we talked about in the past episodes will come up. Speaker 1: (03:42) The gas lighting, you know, all the, the hoovering, all of those things will come up after you have had conflict with them and they feel out of control. Okay? So this gray rock doesn't come from defeat though, but power, and that's what I love about it. It doesn't come from this just, gosh, I'm so just

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider --------- Are you technically 'out' of a toxic situation / relationship but not able to fully disconnect or keep getting dragged back in? In today's episode, we will talk about 5 Things Toxic People Do to Win You Back and How to Stay Strong. --------- Grab the Not My Shit Journal mentioned here Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade --------- GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok --------------------------------------- TRANSCRIPTION Hello queens, are you technically out of a relationship with a toxic person that could be a spouse? It could be a romantic partner in general friendship. Maybe it's a family member, are you out of that relationship, but not feeling totally disconnected? Maybe they won't let you. Here are five ways abusers keep connected, and how to mitigate them, drawing you back in. All right. So you were an object to them, something that they initially desired. So now they believe you belong to them. Okay. It's you probably know a lot of abusers are possessive over their victims. And they don't want anyone else to have you. They don't want you to move on. So even if you're technically away, they'll still try to have you connected to them in some way, they need that for their own power. Right? It's not about you. I know. No one wants to hear that. But I'm not here to fluff it up, as you know, right. It's not about how special you are. It's about them having control, then validating themselves, then getting admiration and love or any type of googoo and gaga over them and reassurance it's all about them. So don't forget that as we head into going over all of the lovely ways they tried to keep you and what you can do to mitigate that hey friends welcome to the but still she thrives podcast I'm Christie date adoring wife, adoptive mama empowerment coach and Queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you're sick of feeling not good enough questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no. And the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You want to feel confident take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that Venti Mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I want to help you that is what I am here for it is my specialty. And I am giving $20 off your first call for limited time. It's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there. And you can sign up over at bit.ly/first coachingcall. I would love to help you. Okay, so let's dive in number one hoovering. It is just what it sounds like it is vacuuming, you back up in these ways. So first love bombing, okay, so that's one of their go to things. It's, you know, it works on a lot of victims who are empathetic, who are loving and nurturing. Because when they feel love, they give love, right? If you're one of those people, you know, and they can suck you in, by showering you with love with presence with all the good feelings and suck you back in. Part of hoovering can also be this is a tougher one. But feigning crisis, basically, faking a crisis may be really causing a crisis. And that can go as deep and as dark as suicide attempts, or faking suicide attempts can be a tactic. Another is smear campaigns, smear campaigns is when you have gotten away from them. And they have no control over you anymore, you've really released. And so they are going to try to smear your name to other people, they will lie about you, they will expose things about you you didn't want exposed. And this is all in order to suck up all of your time, energy and attention. So the trick, which is a hard thing, and for me in the beginning was very hard for me, because I'm a good person. And let's say with the smear campaign, which actually happened that turned into me being like, like, oh goodness, I have to defend my name right? Like I have to defend my name this stuff isn't true. And that does take up time and energy. So I've gotten to a point in general where you have to let it go and trust t

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! In today's episode, we will talk about 5 things that helped me heal more quickly in my narcissistic abuse recovery. Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok --------------------------------------- TRANSCRIPTION Speaker 1: (00:00) Hello Queens. I'm so excited you are here. Today we're gonna talk about five things to do at the start of your healing from abuse journey. So whether you are in it and trying to claw your way out, or you are kind of on the other side and starting to heal, or you've been on the outside for a little bit, but still feeling like you just have a lot of work to do. These are some of the things, some tips that I myself did at the beginning of my journey and wanna share with you all. Speaker 1: (00:38) Hey friends, welcome to the, but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. Do you need help leaving or help healing from an abusive situation? I gotcha. I wanna help you. That is what I am here for. It is my specialty and I am giving $20 off your first call for a limited time. Speaker 1: (01:31) Um, it's empowerment coaching call 60 minutes and then we can go from there and you can sign up over at bit.ly/firstcoachingcall. I would love to help you. So we're touching on some basic tips today. Sometimes when we're in abusive situations or even after leaving them, we don't really see just how abusive they were or are and just what a huge effect they can have on us. We're so used to having the finger pointed at us, can I get a amen? Can I get a what, what ? That? We sometimes do the same thing to ourselves so we can blame ourselves. Think we aren't worthy, feel hopeless in the end, right? But I have good news. It's not your fault. You're not crazy. You are valuable, you're worthy, you're loved, and there is hope. So when I was still in my abusive situation, it, I just didn't realize it was actually even abuse. Speaker 1: (02:29) Like I wouldn't even say that word. I was kind of in denial about it. Uh, it was kind of all I knew and I thought it was just how life was. It actually took a friend of mine who saw it with her own eyes. It took her letting me know that this was like not normal at all. Her reaction finally shook me into being like, oh, this ain't right, . So it still took years for me to get brave enough to remove this person from my life and a while after that, just to see how deep the damage was. And during the abuse, I felt crazy, right? You're questioning yourself and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. And afterwards, I continued to question myself. That is something that I didn't expect. I kind of, once I got out of the situation, felt relief. Speaker 1: (03:22) But something I realized that could happen was questioning myself, getting guilt and harassed by the abuser, which I eventually totally cut off and then guilted by other people. Okay? And that was tough, and I hope you cannot relate to that, but I know many of you will be able to, and I'm going to do an entire episode on this because this was heart wrenching and like blew my world up when it happened because it felt just so isolating and just I finally felt relief and then immediately was getting guilt from family members, uh, multiple, multiple family members, aka a his enablers, um, told me I was ruining the family. I needed to fix things. And that basically I, I was the problem, right? I had to fix this problem and it was on me. Not that he was abusive, right? That was just him. That's still, that's just him, right? Speaker 1: (04:21) Very dismissive. So again, we're getting into the whole dismissive part we talked about in this last episode, and it can run in families. These traits can run in family members and you might see those patterns. So we won't get too far into that, but I wanted to mention that to you just because that is part of the healing journey you may have to deal with as well. I remember, I mean, ugly cr

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. --------- In today's episode, we will talk about the tell-tale signs of a toxic person and how to end toxic relationships. Spoiler alert: you don't owe abusers ANYTHING! Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok --------------------------------------- TRANSCRIPTION Speaker 1: (00:00) Hey Queens. I am so excited you're here today. I'm gonna talk about the top five signs of a toxic person and how to get rid of them. Cuz guess what? We don't like 'em. We don't want toxic people around. Newsflash. That's why we're here, right? Okay. Toxic people are most likely abusive, okay? That is a majority of them are abusive and emotional abuse is often dismissed because there isn't that physical proof like there is with physical abuse. However, it can be just as damaging as physical abuse. And many of you know this, some of you are just figuring this out, and we're gonna dive in to those signs of toxic people and how to get rid of them. Speaker 1: (00:44) Welcome to the, but still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. If you need help healing from an abusive situation or even leaving an abusive situation, you can grab a call with me. It's $20 off your first empowerment coaching call with me over at Bitly, that's bit.ly/firstcoachingcall. I would love to help. Speaker 1: (01:42) Okay, so let's dive in. The five signs of emotional abuse from these toxic people. First of all, they criticize and judge you. They can even pass it off as joking or turn it around and tell you, you are just sensitive, right? I'm here to tell you it is not normal behavior to be constantly criticized and judged by anyone. These people do it as a power play. And if you feel like you have to even ask, are these people always critical of me? The answer's probably yes, and that is a very good sign, right? So you're not too sensitive, you're not crazy, you're a human being with normal emotions and they're messing with you. So we're gonna, we're gonna say a big note of that one, okay? The next sign, they do not respect your boundaries. And you might notice they don't respect other people's boundaries as well, or privacy. Speaker 1: (02:39) So these people are very entitled and really don't give a rat's about what you want. Plain and simple. Often abusers are very controlling. They care about themselves and their needs over everyone else. They often really target people pleasers, people who are very over accommodating so that it is easier to control you so they can cross your boundaries without losing you. Okay? So if you feel like you tell them your feelings or you ask them not to do something and they keep on doing it, or they invade your privacy, that is definitely a red flag. Next, they are controlling and possessive, okay? Everything has to be their way. You literally fear speaking up to them or doing things your way because of the wrath that will come. I know when I went through my abusive situation, I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells. Speaker 1: (03:42) I was scared to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing at all times because I had that constant fear of if I did that, what is to come? Usually emotional abuse for me, there was physical abuse as well, right? So if you are feeling like you are afraid to speak up because of what their reaction will be, that's another telltale sign that you are being emotionally abused. Another sign is they are manipulative and gaslight you. If you don't know what gaslighting is, and an upcoming episode, I am going to be covering all the narcissistic tendencies and gaslighting all of this verbiage for you guys. Um, but p

*Top 5% in podcasts globally Hey Queens! I am Christy Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama and abuse survivor. I now help other women who have gone through abuse (or are going through it) find confidence, power and peace. In today's introductory episode, I share a little about me and what you can expect in the But Still, She Thrives Podcast. I know many of you who have (or are going through) an abusive situation feel not good enough, don't feel loved, and maybe you feel like you are running on empty or lost. As a narcissistic abuse victim, I have been through it and done the leg work so I can help accelerate your healing journey. This is my purpose and my specialty with women...taking them from surviving to thriving. You will find tools, resources, support groups, expert chats and my wild and no BS self lifting you up along the journey! You are amazing and deserve to feel that way. You got this, queen! Want the BEST and quickest pick me up?! My 4 MINUTE meditation: https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Join me and other like-minded women on my free private Facebook Group Page at: https://bit.ly/ChristyJade GRAB $20 off your first 60 minute coaching call with me: https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL Have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Grab my E-Course here: https://christyjade.podia.com/boundariescourse And if you just wanna peek around and find out more about me and my work..check out my website! It's FUN AND SPARKLY ;) https://www.christyjade.com/ Want to drop me a line or have a question? Email me anytime! [email protected] Let's connect on social media! My Instagram My TikTok --------------------------------------- TRANSCRIPTION: (00:03): Hey friends, welcome to the, But Still She Thrives podcast. I'm Christy, Jade, adoring wife, adoptive mama, empowerment coach and queen of helping women who have gone through abuse, turn their lives around and start thriving. I know you are sick of feeling not good enough, questioning your decisions, not knowing how to say no, and the stress is still in your body and in your life. You're looking for more joy and just some freaking peace. You wanna feel confident, take your power back and run your life your way. So if you're ready to go from surviving to thriving, grab that venti mocha and let's dig in. (00:43): Welcome to my first episode of, but Still She Thrives. I'm so excited, so excited. If you don't know me, I get excited easily, but I'm super excited about this. All right, so I know you're like, well, we're talking about abuse. Don't get too excited. But I'm excited because I get to help women every day in my coaching and I'm hyper focusing on women who have been through abuse, some who are actively in an abusive situation. Um, so I wanted to come on here, tell you a little about myself, about what to expect in this podcast, and I'm just thrilled that you are listening. So I just wanna dive in a little bit about me. My name is Christy. I am 42. How did that even happen? I don't know. . And I am an adoring wife of an awesome, awesome husband. Surprised with all the crap I went through. (01:34): I picked a good one. So there is hope out there. Okay, . And then I have a beautiful, amazing daughter that I adapted at birth and she's eight years old now. And I have, as far as career, I worked in television production, which was awesome. I taught kids. I am obsessed with kids. I love them, they're so fun. And I have now landed to empowering women through life coaching. I'm specifically an empowerment coach for women, focusing mostly on women who have been through abusive situations and are trying to heal, get through, get coping mechanisms, get their confidence and their power back, live in peace. And sometimes we think we have to settle because we've been through a lot. Um, and we don't have to. And I can promise you, you can go from feeling like you're surviving or just on the other end of surviving to thriving. (02:33): And I myself can relate to this journey. I went through years of abuse. Um, I won't be getting into all those nitty gritty details on today's story, but I will say, um, I was a victim of narcissistic abuse, which I will talk a lot about and a lot of you will be able to relate to that. I know I have an audience that has been through or are going through narcissistic, abusive situations, so I will definitely be tapping into all of that and having some experts on to discuss that more in depth too. The hard part about abuse is sometimes we don't even realize we're we're really being abused or how bad it is because our minds get so twisted up and we are told by the abuser that we're crazy or we caused it or deserve it. There's so much backward stuff that happens with abuse that hopefully, you know, but some people don't. (03:32): Maybe one of these episodes will just grab them and they'll listen and, and realize what's happening. So, um, if you know anyone who is going through something you might think is abusive, you can certainly pass any of these e