Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're bringing back a popular episode on relationship conflict. We're talking about three different patterns that show up in conflicts, how to recognize which one is showing up for yourself, and discuss some ways to disrupt the pattern and create new choreography with your partner(s). Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're discussing cognitive reappraisal, or the notion of thinking your way out of a negative emotional response to a given situation. We'll be going over research available on cognitive reappraisal, what it looks like in real life, and whether or not it's just gaslighting yourself into feeling like your relationship is better than it actually is. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're getting into the nitty gritty details of ending relationships, whether it's by breaking up or de-escalating. We'll be discussing all the different ways relationships constantly change, defining some terms for uncoupling, how to navigate the challenges of separating, and some practical ways you can make these transitions smoother, healthier, and a more positive experience for everyone. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about a universal human experience: wanting to feel better after a relationship ends. However, a lot of us end up seeking the wrong type of closure, and we can stay stuck in pain for even longer. In this episode we're going to discuss the difference between searching for answers and wanting to feel true acceptance, the science behind our need for closure, and of course, some practical tools to figure out what kind of closure you might need. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're answering some more listener questions! We'll be tackling some questions about moving too fast in relationships, relationship hierarchy, and primary versus non-primary relationships. Want your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Become on of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join on a sliding scale!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about metamour relationships with Alex Alberto. Alex is a queer author, publisher, and filmmaker. Last year, Alex published their memoir, “Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home” through Quilted Press, a collective of independent authors they co-founded. This year, Alex is producing a short film called “Coming Out Polyamorous for Thanksgiving,” which is based on an essay from Entwined. Alex also leads writers' retreats and courses at Scrappy Literary, and some of their classes focus on helping writers of all levels write about non-monogamy and unconventional relationships. Alex is originally from Montreal but lives in Upstate New York with their partner, metamour, and kids.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're excited to welcome Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlin back to the show to discuss advocacy, relationship rights, and more. Diana Adams (they/them) is an international legal leader in advocacy for queer family forms beyond the romantic dyad. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit advocating for diverse family structures, & runs a boutique law firm providing mediation services nationwide for those hoping to negotiate intentional or polyamorous families. Diana’s TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ explains their expansive vision of family. Find them on all socials @DianaAdamsEsq. Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is a social impact organizer with over a decade of leadership experience building a more just and joyous future. He is the founder and Executive Director of OPEN, the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. Prior to launching OPEN, Brett worked in the environmental movement as the Director of Community Engagement at The Story of Stuff Project and the co-founder of the Post Landfill Action Network. Check out the legislative toolkit from OPEN for ways to help further local legislation in your area: harvard.turtl.co/story/polyamory-legislative-toolkit.Download the 5 calls app to contact your representatives and hold them accountable: https://5calls.org/.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode! Today we're answering some questions from our Supercast subscribers about organizing local polyamory meetups, how to handle guilt you feel even when a partner is telling you not to feel guilty, and strategies to deal with missing a partner you don't live with. If you want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/join to become one of our Supercast subscribers!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our audiobook is out now at all major audiobook retailers! Learn more at multiamory.com/book>Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a heavy topic: denial. Most of us have dealt with this at one point or another, especially when it comes to relationships, whether it's denial that that relationship is over or whether or not someone is attracted to you. We'll be doing a deep dive into why we often fall into denial, whether or not denial can be a helpful force in our lives, and how to know if you're in denial. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about equity, equality, and fairness in all relationships, but particularly non-monogamous ones. We'll discuss the differences between equity and equality, perceived fairness, equity among multiple partners, and more! As always, we'll have some practical takeaways at the end of the episode to help you be more aware of equity and fairness in your relationships and how to communicate about it better. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're chatting about romantic relationships, friendships, and the ways we often treat the two differently. Why do we think of our romantic partners as our most intimate and important connections, and yet sometimes don't treat them with the same respect and kindness we do our friends? We'll be talking about why we tend to do this and how we can foster more understanding in romantic relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about attention and attentiveness as a relationship resource. It's natural for us to want to feel loved, important, and listened to, especially by our partners and family. But distraction happens, particularly nowadays in a digital age, and if your partner is distracted by work, their phone, other partners, or just other life priorities, it can be really distressing to feel like there’s a lack of attention. We're going to be discussing why this can be so upsetting, the most important things to know about attentiveness, and how to cope if you’re feeling that lack of attention. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're answering some more listener questions, and we're also being joined by Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project to get their perspectives on non-monogamy and parenting. We'll be discussing some questions about parenting, meeting like-minded people, guilt, and missing non-nesting partners.Abbey and Liam have been together for over twelve years and non-monogamous for over a decade. Together they started the Evolving Love Project which hosts monthly conversation nights for non-monogamous or curious folk in Canberra and Sydney, Australia and co-host the acclaimed podcast Evolving Love. Abbey also publishes weekly on Substack with her musings on non-monogamy, parenthood & sexuality. They believe that by removing the stigma from these topics, collectively we can push the culture in a positive, caring and more loving direction.If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our exclusive community!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about the need for approval many of us feel every day and the impact it can have on our relationships. We're discussing what approval-seeking and people-pleasing are, whether seeking approval is always harmful in a relationship, pros and cons of seeking approval, and more. As always, we'll also share some actionable tools at the end of the episode to increase self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and keep relationships healthy and happy. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're focusing on solo polyamory! We'll be covering what solo polyamory is, its variations and the different forms it can take, and why you might want to be solo polyamorous. We'll also go into detail about criticism of solo polyamory and what its implications might be on your romantic relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about romanticization and its role in our relationships, our lives, and more. We all idealize something, whether it's a place, a person, or a choice, but what happens when our idealized version clashes with reality? We'll be discussing whether romanticization is helpful for us and our life choices or if it ultimately hurts us in the long run. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A from our lovely subscribers! Today, we're discussing mono-normativity, metamour relationships, and polysaturation as we answer some questions posed by our listeners. Visit multiamory.com/join to become part of our excellent community!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're bringing back a special conversation between Dedeker and Orit Krug! Orit is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist. Orit helps individuals & couples expand their capacity for self-love and intimacy in relationships by processing past trauma stored in the body. Orit is polyamorous, partnered, and a parent to a toddler.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're going back to some polyamory 101 basics and talking about opening up previously monogamous relationships. We'll be talking about some helpful things to consider before opening up your relationship, what to do during the critical period where things are shifting, and how to maintain your partnership(s) after the initial opening up. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year! We're starting back up again this year talking about negativity bias, how it affects our media landscape, and in turn, how it affects our wellbeing and relationships as well. We'll go over some research about how consuming negative or fearful news can bleed over into your relationships, and share some ways to combat the effects so you can stay informed but also have happier partnerships.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about the green-eyed monster...envy! We've talked a lot about jealousy in the past, but this time we're focusing on envy, which is often conflated with jealousy. Sometimes we feel inadequate or resentful in our relationships, but it doesn't quite feel like jealousy. You might be dealing with envy! For today's episode we're going to talk about the difference between envy and jealousy in non-traditional relationships, why you might be feeling envious, and as always, and as always, we'll discuss some practical tools for transforming envy into personal growth and stronger connections.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming back writer, director, actor, and producer Frank Arthur Smith to talk about non-monogamy in queer media.Frank is a queer writer/director/actor/producer originally from Boston. He was most recently staffed on children's comedy OCEAN EXPLORERS on YouTube. Previously, he wrote on Disney Channel’s RAVEN’S HOME. He also starred in Episode 5 of Emmy Award-nominated TIDYING UP WITH MARIE KONDO on Netflix.His LGBTQIA+ comedy series, OPEN TO IT, in which he stars, writes, directs, and Executive Produces, debuted at Outfest, the largest queer film festival in the world, and received over 1 million views online, before being acquired by OUTtv, a Canadian cable channel available in over 15 million homes, and US streaming service with over 1 million subscribers. The show can be seen worldwide at opentoitseries.com and features RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE stars Manila Luzon, Laganja Estranja, Honey Davenport, and Pandora Boxx, as well as Deaf drag queen influencers, Deafies in Drag.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're discussing conflict spirals, or what happens when you're arguing with a partner and it's no longer productive, you're exhausted, and you just want things to be over with. We're talking about how to stop that spiraling conflict, soothe yourself, and get back to a place where you can co-regulate with your partner instead of getting trapped in the same spiral again and again. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Jaime Gama of the popular Instagram account Gotitas de Poliamor. We'll be discussing non-monogamy, identity, community, and much more with him. Jaime is a psychologist with a master's in Gestalt psychotherapy who specializes in ethical relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous. He uses his account to share his experience and journey deconstructing the ways he connects with his partners. At the moment he offers webinars, on-line sessions and is working on writing his first book. Find more about Jaime at www.gotitasdepoliamor.com, or follow him on Instagram @gotitasdepoliamor. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're back with a Q&A episode! We're answering some questions from our listeners and talking about balancing relationships and a burgeoning career, asking a partner to be more visible in their life, and how to reconcile with decisions others make that affect you. If you want a question of yours answered on one of our future Q&A episodes, consider becoming a member of our community!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're revisiting the topic of marriage and non-monogamy, talking about why you might want to get married, why you might NOT want to get married, and some considerations you might want to discuss with a partner if you're non-monogamous. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For today's episode, we're joined by Millie and Nick from Decolonizing Love for a spectacular conversation about polyamory, intersectionality, colonialism, hierarchy, and much, much more. Millie Boella (she/they) and Nick (he/him) are a polyamorous couple from Toronto, Canada, who have been together for 14 years. Millie, of mixed Kenyan and diverse heritage, has always embraced polyamory, influenced by her Maasai background. She founded the Toronto Non-Monogamous BIPOC group in 2017 and is a professional writer. Nick, of Italian and Greek descent, is a healthcare consultant. He works on various community causes, including projects that help men unlearn toxic masculinity. In 2021, they co-founded Decolonizing Love, advocating for polyamory through a decolonial lens. Their work aims to make polyamory accessible and intersectional.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For this week's episode, the Multiamory crew is taking a much-needed break, and featuring episode 308 of Normalizing Non-Monogamy: Bru + Mark! Hosts Emma and Fin talk with Bru and Mark about their guests' relatively recent journey of opening up their long partnership. For Emma and Fin, life is all about seeking out adventure, embracing the chaos, and meeting amazing people along the way. They are in their mid thirties, met in seventh grade, and have been together since their freshman year of college. A year or so into their relationship it was obvious that exploring everything life had to offer was part of who they were as individuals, and as a team. They were very young at the time and neither had really experienced the world of dating, so they created a way to explore aspects of the dating world without ending their relationship, through non-monogamy. Fast forward about 11 years and they decided to start a weekly podcast called Normalizing Non-Monogamy in 2018. They absolutely love meeting new people and hearing their stories and through this podcast they get to interview people from all over the world who are exploring non-monogamy on their own terms. The hope is that if they can get enough of those stories out into the world that it will provide a resource for anyone who is considering non-monogamy. They also want to show that non-monogamy is more common than most people think and that it can be done in an ethical and consensual way. Overall, the mission is to inspire people to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.Find more about them and Normalizing Non-Monogamy at https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another Q&A episode where we answer some questions posed by our lovely listeners! Today we're discussing different levels of sexual attraction among various partners, what to do when a relationship seems like it's going TOO well, and how to communicate to a partner that you want to shift away from hierarchy. If you want your question answered on a future episode, consider joining our awesome community at multiamory.com/join!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Savage joins us today to talk about love, sex, non-monogamy, commitment, and much, much more! Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, a podcaster, an author, and has appeared on numerous television shows.“Savage Love,” Dan’s sex-advice column, first appeared in The Stranger, Seattle’s alternative weekly, in 1991. The column is now syndicated worldwide. Dan has published seven books.In 2006, Dan launched the Savage Lovecast, a weekly, call-in, sex advice podcast. It has 600,000 unique monthly downloads and 20,000 paying subscribers for premium “Magnum” content. It ranks consistently in the top ten Sexuality podcasts on Apple Podcasts.He created and curates the HUMP! Film Festival, a sex-positive showcase of dirty short films, now in its 18th year. HUMP! has become a national phenomenon selling tens of thousands of tickets, screening in over 50 cities across the United States and Canada and streaming worldwide.In 2010 Dan and his husband Terry Miller founded the It Gets Better Project. The IGBP has gathered tens of thousands of videos from people all over the world offering hope to LGBT kids. The book—It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living—was a New York Times best seller. In 2012 the It Gets Better Project was awarded an Emmy.Dan’s graphic, pragmatic, and humorous advice has changed the cultural conversation about sex, monogamy, gay rights, religiosity, and politics.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎉 Big Announcement 🎉As some of you have already heard, we’re making the big transition from Patreon to Supercast. This move has been 2 years in the making, and we’re so happy that we can finally make the switch in order to make our supporters’ experience even better. Here are the most important things to know about the switch:We’re now officially sliding scale. That means ✨ ALL benefits for ALL tiers! ✨Choose the monthly amount that works for your financial reality, get access to everything:• Private Discord server & FB group• Ad-free & early-release episodes• Monthly video discussion and processing groups• Priority submission for Q&As and AMAs• Early & discounted live event and workshop access• Invites to supporter-only pop-ups and in-person hangouts• Discounts on Dedeker's online courseAdditionally, Supercast has enabled us to offer new features including:🎁 The ability to gift membership (just in time for the holiday season)💰 One-off donations if you’re not interested in subscribing full time🆓 Financial assistance options – if you’re having a tighter month, you can fill out our financial accessibility form at any time to get an automated promo code that will unlock reduced or free membership. This is no questions asked, and you can use the form as many times as you need.More information, FAQs, and sliding scale guidelines at http://www.multiamory.com/joinJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're celebrating 500 episodes of Multiamory! Ten years after the first episode, we're telling the story of the beginning of the podcast, revisiting topics from episode 1, and talking about the exciting future of the show. Visit multiamory.com/join to become part of our amazing community!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by writer Andrea Zanin to talk about their upcoming books. Andrea Zanin, MA, is a white, nonbinary, middle-aged queer whose writing focuses on queer sex, nonmonogamy and BDSM/Leather. They have written for the Globe and Mail, The Tyee, Bitch, Ms., Xtra, IN Magazine, Outlooks Magazine and the Montreal Mirror. Their scholarly work, fiction and essays appear in a variety of collections, and they are the author of Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond and, with Eve Rickert, the co-author of More Than Two, Second Edition: Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity. Andrea blogs sporadically at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the ten rules for happy nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.”Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is another Q&A! We'll be answering Patreon questions about whether or not your first relationship should be a non-monogamous one, dealing with a partner's NRE with someone else, and if it's possible to limit one's expansion of feelings for another. If you'd like your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a member of our Patreon community! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do if you can't stand the people your partner dates or dislike how they date? Today, we're discussing all the different ways these situations can play out, any research available about the topic, and how you can get to the crux of what's really going on, along with ways to cope with it. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rachel Krantz is back to talk about her experience with monogamy after being non-monogamous. Rachel is a journalist and the author of OPEN: One Woman's Journey Through Love and Polyamory. She was the namer of Bustle, and one of its three founding editors. She’s the recipient of the Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award, the Investigative Reporters and Editors Radio Award, the Peabody Award, and the Edward R. Murrow Award. You can follow her on Instagram @rachelkrantz, and subscribe to her podcast, Help Existing, wherever you get your podcasts. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For today's episode, we're examining anger from a slightly different perspective: how it relates to anxiety and vulnerability in your relationships. We're going to be talking about the science behind why anger and anxiety are often closely linked, debunking common myths about what these emotions look like in relationships, and giving you practical tools to break free from the cycle of reactivity. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're back with another Q&A episode in which we discuss one penis policies, labels and identities, and intimate friendships. If you want one of your questions answered on an upcoming episode, consider joining our Patreon community at www.patreon.com/multiamory! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing the relationship escalator, which is often criticized in non-monogamous spaces. However, some non-monogamous folks may want the same milestones and journey that the relationship escalator provides, so today we're talking about what can happen if you're someone who wants to move up the escalator with a partner or partners. We'll be going over some pros and cons of the relationship escalator, some research about how quickly people tend to escalate in relationships, and how to navigate your journey if the relationship escalator is something you want in your life. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're diving into workaholism and its effect on relationships. A lot of us in western (American) culture pride ourselves on working hard and never taking a break, but how effective is this mentality, really? Often, things like our relationships may suffer without a healthy work/life balance, and so today we'll be discussing why some of us work so hard and so much, some habits to look out for that may be causing more harm than good, and how to shift workaholic tendencies so your relationships can thrive. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming guest Owen Ever to the show to discuss insights they have learned from researching the animal queendom's social-sexual dynamics. Ever is a community-oriented artist and educator committed to wonder, history and healthcare justice. They were previously a curator and historian at the New Orleans Pharmacy Museum, worked in HIV support and prevention at a community clinic and were a research associate with the CDC's national HIV behavioral health survey. They are a theatre maker, therapeutic medical clown and find queer joy in birdwatching.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another full-length Q&A episode where we answer questions from our Patreon supporters. Today we'll be discussing cPTSD and over-analyzing, resources for polyamory support, and non-hierarchical polyamory and plus ones. If you'd like your question answered on the next Q&A episode, consider joining our Patreon community! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're very excited to be showcasing an episode from our good friend Libby Sinback's podcast, Making Polyamory Work. In this episode, she's discussing unmet needs in polyamorous relationships from multiple angles. Libby Sinback is a queer, polyamorous mom, the host of the podcast Making Polyamory Work and a coach for people who want extraordinary relationships while choosing to live and love outside the status quo. She is certified in Relational Life Therapy, and has coached hundreds of people in breaking their unhelpful relationship patterns so that they can have happier, more nourishing love in their life. Libby believes love is why we're here, and how we heal.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin from OPEN! Brett (he/him) is a social impact organizer with over a decade of leadership experience building a more just and joyous future. He is the founder and Executive Director of OPEN, the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. Prior to launching OPEN, Brett worked in the environmental movement as the Director of Community Engagement at The Story of Stuff Project and the co-founder of the Post Landfill Action Network. He lives in the California Bay Area.We'll be chatting with Brett about progress for non-monogamous folks over the past few years, from securing rights to overall awareness of non-monogamy as a relationship style. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, join us for a hopeful discussion about depression! We'll be sharing some personal anecdotes, some research about depression, and some tips for dealing with depression when you or your partner are experiencing bad mental health episodes. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about friendship, love, and romance with Rhaina Cohen. Rhaina is the author of the bestselling book The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. She's an award-winning producer and editor for NPR's documentary podcast Embedded. And she's written about social connection and policy for The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post and other outlets.Find her on Instagram @rhainacohen, or her newsletter here. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another full-length Q&A episode answering questions from our supporters on Patreon. For today's episode, we'll be discussing what to do when you're in love with someone who hasn't disclosed that you're in love to their nesting partner, getting clarity on why you might want additional partners, and how to stay friends with an ex who has hurt you badly in the past. If you'd like your question answered on the show, consider joining our Patreon! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Dr. Marie Thouin is back to talk about compersion and her new book on the subject.Dr. Marie Thouin is a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coach who supports people of all backgrounds and relational orientations to create intentional and vibrant love lives. She is a leading expert on the topic of compersion and the author of the groundbreaking book, "What is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships.” Marie has published seminal research studies, the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion, and is the creator of www.WhatIsCompersion.com, a popular website that features her research, blogs, and other resources on compersion. She has been featured in several magazines and podcasts, including ELLE, the Savage Lovecast, and Multiamory.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices