Mindful Mama: Raising Kind, Confident Kids Without Losing Your Cool | Parenting Strategies For Big Emotions & More

In the 90s Oprah had a life coach on who said something that shocked her studio audience of suburban moms. She had asked the audience to make a list of all the priorities in their lives. Then she asked, “Where are you on that list?” Lots of the audience did not have themselves on the list at all. Then she made her outrageous suggestion: “You should be the #1 priority on your list.” The audience booed. Oprah said, “Hold on,” and asked them why they booed. Oprah said, “It doesn’t mean that others are kicked off your list when you put yourself first.” We’ve come a long way since then. Or have we? If you made a list of priorities, who would be on your list? Where would you be on your list? Many moms tell me that taking care of themselves is not a priority. If you are really honest with yourself, is that you? The thing is, if you are not #1 on your list, you’re realizing a fundamental truth: You cannot give what you do not have. If you are not taking care of you, you are gyping your children and your family. You are offering them a second-rate version of you. And you are role-modeling a life of “not worthy.” Making yourself a priority isn’t selfish. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s called taking responsibility. Find the shownotes for this podcast here on MindfulMamaPodcast.com Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Don't miss a single episode! Every Wednesday I share an exclusive email newsletter with blog posts and podcast episodes to inspire you. Sign up now and get "5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

School ends soon and summer will officially begin around here. In the past, this triggered anxiety for me. What would we do all day? How do we get through the long days of summer? This is the same feeling that leads many to put their kids into camp after camp, activity after activity. Downtime is like an enemy to be conquered. In my house, we aren’t worried about hearing “I’m bored” anymore. In fact, I don’t hear it very often because my girls are so used to having unstructured time to follow their own imagination. Now, I’m not afraid of “I’m bored,” but I used to be. My anxiety over my daughter’s outbursts and volatile emotions used to make me really worry about the long days of summer. My fear led me to follow my habitual reaction of trying to control things more. I needed to shape and structure the day so that I could keep my anxiety at bay. It was a struggle. Do we suffer from our circumstances, or from wanting it to be otherwise? The Buddha taught that most of our suffering is caused by grasping at things in an impermanent world. Both the Buddha and Patanjali’s yoga sutra’s teach that the path to liberation involves letting go of our grasping - letting go of wanting things to be other than they are. This podcast shares 6 tips on how to get through the long days of summer - in a deeper way. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hunter and Carla come together again to discuss the need for moms to get away from it all for a little while and how this can benefit families. Moms need a break too. Head over to this weekend retreat for rest and relaxation, insight, grounding, and humor. There are a few spots left! Find more from Carla – books, articles, etc. – at CarlaNaumburg.com. Thank you so very much for listening, my friend! The best way to support the podcast is to subscribe, and tell a friend about it today. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elizabeth Dialto is known for her raw, honest and grounded approach to self-help and spirituality, Elizabeth is also the founder of Wild Soul Movement, author of Untame Yourself, and host of the Untame The Wild Soul Woman podcast. “Women who are connected to and trust their bodies hold the keys to a life of infinite joy, love, possibility and freedom.” - Elizabeth Dialto Her website: http://untameyourself.com/ My takeaways: We are often consumed by the identity of mother. We live in the role rather than be ourselves. Women are cyclical in nature, not linear. We can honor our intuitiveness. Dove into listening to, and loving and accepting our bodies. Learn how to bring back your sensuality. Thank you! The audio for this is with Srdan, and will be on it's way to you in a few days. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a mama martyr? Find out in this podcast episode. You may have been infected by the martyrdom disease, which detrimentally effects not only you, but your family too! Listen for signs that you may be putting yourself last too much and how (and why) to stop it. Thanks so much for listening my friend! If you got something out of this episode, please share it with a friend or leave a review on iTunes. P.S. Don't miss a single episode! Every Wednesday I share an exclusive email newsletter with blog posts and podcast episodes to inspire you. Sign up now and get "5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child." Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brian Leaf is author of Adventures Of A Garden State Yogi, Adventures Of A Parenting Yogi, and his new book, The Teacher Appears. His 2nd time on the podcast. Hunter and Brian talk about coming into alignment, and go deep (with hilarious asides) on faith and "surrendering to oneness." His new book: When the student is ready…. THE TEACHER APPEARS. For anyone wanting to deepen their yoga practice, this illustrated journal of 108 prompts is just the thing - humorous and insightful. Includes original celebrity guest prompts from such luminaries as Krishna Das, Elena Brower, Jack Kornfield, Shiva Rea, Seane Corn, Gretchen Rubin, and more. If you like this podcast, please share it with a friend and review it on iTunes. Don't miss events coming up: If you are on the east coast, join Hunter for a Mindful Mother's Day Retreat at the Winterthur Museum and gardens: CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE AND REGISTER. Thank you so much for listening! Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carla Naumburg joins me again for their monthly segment on the Mindful Mama podcast. We talk about a wonderful article, Give Kids Your Undivided Attention - Or No Attention At All by Catherine Newman. This author never uses the word "mindfulness" yet gives us lessons like a modern-day buddha. We discuss the idea of fully paying attention, then fully ignoring our children and how we can all benefit from this. We talk about the power of immersive play for children, and get real about how realistic this is. Other discussion points: Carla has no problem with moms being on their smart phones at the playground. Parenting advice from Jack Black, "Don't give a happy child ice cream." And, as always, we discuss our personal parenting wins and fails. Find out why I think I deserve a parenting badge of honor! Carla and I will leading a weekend retreat at the Copper Beech Institute at the end of this month - check out the Mindful Mothering Retreat here. Moms need a break too. Head over to this weekend retreat for rest and relaxation, insight, grounding, and humor. There are a few spots left! Find more from Carla - books, articles, etc. - at CarlaNaumburg.com. Thank you so very much for listening, my friend! The best way to support the podcast is to subscribe, and tell a friend about it today. With warmth & lovingkindness, Hunter Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Picture yourself in this scenario: it’s early Spring. You are walking to the park with your child on one of those warm days that feels like a gift. Winter jackets home on their hooks, you feel the fresh breeze on your arms. Now take the same setting, but this time you are pre-occupied with your thoughts... Your daughter tugs at your hand to go look at a worm. No, you say, you have to get going. You take your phone out of your pocket for a quick check to see if there have been any incoming emails since your walk began. You are barely aware of your surroundings, caught up in your ruminating thoughts. Your relationship with your child has narrowed down to getting her from here to there, another to-do. The differences in these two scenarios are clear even though these situations might look alike to the casual observer. We can see from these scenarios and our own lives that rumination and getting lost in anxieties take us away from what’s real in the here and the now. Happily, we have clear ways to become more present. Mindfulness practices help us to gain more control over our minds rather than be controlled by them. Why practice to be present? The benefits include more focus, decreased stress, increased self-regulation, better sleep, a better immune system and more. For me, the most important reason is so I can show up for my family and life without all the layers of anxiety and depression that used to stop me from living fully. I am more aware of the beauty in my world. I can really be there to love my children. Step-by-step instruction and support is exactly what you get when you first start with Mindful Parenting. More than just an online course, it’s a deep-dive into self-awareness and skillful communication. You’ll learn tools that will improve every relationship in your life (including with yourself!). And...once you enroll, you're in it for life! You can join the live course again and again to support your learning in the future. Check it out here. Thank you so very much for listening, my friend. I'm wishing you a present and peaceful day. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now that I’ve taken the jogging stroller around the block a few times, I realize that the two things that I really did need, the two things that mattered most... weren’t even on my radar. What are the two things parents really need? Parents need help when we have conflict. When there’s a conflict, a few things happen: our stress response kicks in and we become reactive, then we often communicate from old patterns (i.e. your own parent’s voice comes out of your mouth). We can break it down into two problems: The stress response Unskillful communication We come into the most trouble in our parenting when we are stressed, so it’s important to understand the stress response. There are biological and evolutionary reasons why we “lose it.” “Losing it” refers to those fast, automatic reactions to a perceived threat which can be triggered in stressful interactions with our child. This literally cuts off access the rational, thoughtful part of our brain. The first and most fundamental thing we need as parents (for our stress response!) is this: #1 Mindfulness You’ve heard of it. It’s a buzz word, but for good reason. Mindfulness practice is one of the single most effective tools we have to lower our stress response and become less reactive. With practice, we can acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, but not be swept away by them. Once we are able to calm down and become less reactive, what do we say? Many, many people are like me - the language that I used was the language I grew up with, commands and demands that didn’t work and caused resentment in my young child. The language I was using was weakening our relationship rather than strengthening it. The Second Thing parents need help with (perhaps most of all): #2 Skillful Communication We go into parenting with great intentions to be loving and kind, but with the combination of our stress response and our unskilful, habitual ways of communicating, we get really stuck. Since parenting comes down to, at it’s core, our moment-to-moment interactions with our children, parents need training in how to communicate in those moments. The blaming, shaming, judgmental words that come out of our mouths create resentment in our children and make them less likely to cooperate with us. What do I wish I had as a young parent? Mindfulness for the stress response and cultivating non-reactivity. Skillful communication for more cooperation and a better relationship. I believe that mindfulness and skillful communication are incredibly powerful tools for parents and for every part of our lives. These two things can change the world, one family at a time. That is why these are at the heart of my Mindful Parenting course. For more information, click here. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM _________________________________________________________________ ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get a taste of what the Mindful Parenting course is like by listening to the actual first lesson of the course. Go check out the Mindful Parenting course now! “I have read lots of books in the past but the program was more helpful; having lesson plans, something new to work on every week, listening to the audio and realizing we all have similar experiences, using the meditation practices and minimal yoga practice spontaneously. It's a wonderful and valuable experience." - Sapna Mindful Parenting will give you all the tools you need to be the calm, loving and compassionate parent you were born to be. You’ll finally be able to replace those harmful legacies passed down in your family through generations with authentic and mindful parenting that comes from your own heart. I’ll show you how to obtain permanent peace in your home through loving communication skills, which leads to more cooperative and happy children. You’ll learn how to solve even the most stressful conflicts mindfully, and create strong and healthy family relationships. And...once you enroll, you're in it for life! You can join the live course again and again to support your learning in the future. Mindful Parenting becomes your conscious parenting tribe. Check out Mindful Parenting! Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This story illustrates the importance of play more than most: In studies of sociopaths stuck in prison with life sentences, NONE of them had healthy play histories. Play and creativity is essential for children's development, but is threatened by our too-busy, achievement oriented lifestyle. Are your kids getting enough of the right kind of play? Avital, The Parenting Junkie, and Hunter riff about the problems they have with our current educational system and why they made the choices they did. Learn Hunter's big beef with the conventional education system and what it has to do with intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation. Find out why you may not need as much as you think and why you may need to be LESS involved than you think. Avital has a bonus in the comprehensive Mindful Parenting course. What is it? Working with thousands of women over the years, Hunter has put all of that learning into a comprehensive 10-week course. Mindful Parenting will give you all the tools you need to be the calm, loving and compassionate parent you were born to be. You’ll finally be able to stop yelling and respond thoughtfully and authentically to your child.She’ll show you how to get peace in your home through loving communication skills, so you have more cooperative and happy children. You’ll learn how to solve even the most stressful conflicts mindfully, and create strong and healthy family relationships. Want in? CLICK HERE to jump over and register or learn more. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Recently my 9-year old daughter has been watching a certain t.v. show and coming back with some pretty snarky retorts. It's been driving me bananas! What do you you do about a 'teen' attitude in your child? How do you deal with media that may not be sending the kind of message you want? Carla Naumburg, author of Parenting In the Present Moment, and Hunter Clarke-Fields, Mindfulness Mama Mentor hash it out in today's episode. This is the first in a monthly installment of Carla and Hunter's back and forth. Mentioned in this episode: Louis C. K. talking about cell phones. This is brilliant and you should not miss this. In a few days the 10-Day Mindful Mama Virtual Retreat begins! This free, online event is specifically for moms who want to be less irritable with their kids. It will help you begin your own mindfulness practice in the company of hundreds of other mamas. And Carla is in it too! And the Mindful Parenting Course is coming! Want in? Click here to get on the wait list. Thank you so much for listening!! Did you like this episode? If so, please let us know in the comments, then subscribe to the podcast on your favorite player so you don't miss a single episode. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review ----->http://apple.co/2s5kjBM ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mama mentor. She coaches over-stressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter is a certified Parent Effectiveness Training teacher and has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Hunter is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Find her free guide, 5 Simple Things You Can Do Today To Be Less Irritable With Your Child, more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at HunterClarkeFields.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices