Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Hi ass kickers! Today I’m answering a common questions, and that’s Where do I start in personal development? There’s so many topics-- from surrender to self-love to forgiveness? Where in the world do we begin? Well, I’ve broken it down into 5 places to look at, as well as created a handy-dandy worksheet for you to follow along and get your own insight into where might be a good place for you to start. In the episode, I break down these 5 areas: Addictions Therapy (link to therapy episode) Core beliefs Negative self talk Communication Hopefully, this episode will give you clear insight to where you can look that will set you up on a path to healing and betterment, as well as let you know you are NOT alone if you’re feeling overwhelmed in not knowing where to start. http://yourkickasslife.com/178 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode we’re talking all about forgiveness, and today’s guest literally wrote the book on this topic! Emily Hooks is the author of The Power of Forgiveness, and as you’ll hear from this conversation, this subject can be complex. At the root of it, forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it is about healing yourself. If life isn’t showing up how you want it to that’s a sign that it’s trying to show us what to heal, forgive or learn. This is what makes it so important that we explore the relationships in our lives, with both ourselves and other people. Ultimately, you will decide if there is a need for forgiveness based on the impact of what happened. Rewriting your own story is possible and can lead you to start the healing process now. Best of all, you can use what has happened to you for good, no matter how traumatic the experience. http://yourkickasslife.com/177 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many months ago I sent out a survey looking for what you wanted to hear more of on the podcast, and the results are in! A handful of you wanted to hear more stories from “regular” women (and not experts in personal development), so today I am bringing you a conversation I had with a coaching client of mine. Janessa Nickell is a client I’ve worked with for many months over this past year, and in this episode she talks about her struggles and what she was facing when she decided to work with me privately. She reveals that through the work that was done, she now has the confidence to be able to do this work on herself, but it wasn’t without becoming extremely vulnerable first. Like everyone, not only does Janessa have a story to tell but now she is going out in the world and sharing it! The heart of what I do is around vulnerability, shame resilience, and courage. It’s sometimes hard for me to explain what this looks like and it’s easier to hear it coming out of the mouth of someone who’s experienced it. As you’ll hear, it takes a decision and a commitment to the work. http://yourkickasslife.com/176 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you know it’s ok to not love your body? Well you can, and then start taking steps forward and become in tune with it. Here to share her insight on body image (and all things related) is Samantha Skelly, an emotional eating expert who’s revolutionizing the weight loss industry by uncovering the underlying causes of eating disorders. Shame kept Samantha stuck, but as you’ll hear pain is a divine teacher. She reveals why we need to feel in order to heal, and how it’s not about being a certain weight but really how you feel about yourself. http://yourkickasslife.com/175 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi ass kickers! Welcome to another Listener Q & A episode! I have my friend Kate on again as we tackle two questions from the YKAL community. Here is question 1: Hi Andrea, I found your recovery series compelling and now I know why. I am involved in a long-term relationship with an alcoholic (or at least I think so). My question is this: I do not know whether I should stay or go. I try to do research on a book to read and to get more information and it is pretty confusing. My therapist agrees that I should leave him. I see book reviews on books that say I should love and understand him and then he and I (codependent) can both heal. I do not know what book to read. I do not know what to do. I just know that my brain is big ball of string when I try to untangle this, and my heart is broken in pieces. -Kathryn Kate and I are both in agreement that Kathryn should start by taking care of herself, and give her a couple of resources to do that. We discuss the very important thing Kathryn should be clear about before she decides to leave (if she ever decides that) that anyone can contemplate before leaving a committed relationship. ************************************************** Question 2 is: Curveballs. I'm not even talking about major curveballs. On Monday I had a goal that I was going to clamp down on for my business. Today was the day. Then the landlady knocks on the door to say that today is the day the guy is coming to paint, and sorry she didn't tell me earlier, she didn't want to bother me yesterday. Then I decide to make a plan with a friend of mine to go to her house, so that I don't end up sleeping in paint fumes all day and trying to work in chaos. It works out so perfectly because she happens to be in my area at that very moment and she is able to pick up. The point is, that day ended up being more of a tagging along doing my friend's errands (one of which has been a huge blessing - saving me a bit of money). But, I couldn't help feeling like I "should" be clamping down on the original goal. I'll be honest and say that some of my anxiety was due to the fear of lack of focus when I was not in my own home, and I am still learning about how to put up boundaries when I'm with other people and say "hey, I'm kinda working, could you leave me alone?" I am still learning how not to always be the accommodating rather than a decision maker. I just am tired of that and wanna grow up. So, how does an empowered woman, not go down that spiral and instead recognise what's happening when there is a curveball and use it efficiently? -Niki Kate and I answer what seems like two questions from Niki: how to say “no” in a polite, yet firm way, and how to surrender to life when things don’t go as planned. We both have different viewpoints about productivity, share our personal experience there and give Niki advice about what to ask herself in those frustrating situations. http://www.yourkickasslife.com/174 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited for you to hear this episode, because it’s the first time I've had a witch on the podcast! Just kidding (sort of) --today my guest is psychic medium Laura Powers, and she’s showing us how each of us can access our own intuition to learn about our true selves. As Laura shares, we can actually be proactive and take different approaches to reach out to our angels (or guides, as she calls them). We can also learn to recognize when they are trying to reach out to us, and then open ourselves up to this communication. I think you’ll be fascinated what she has to say, as this episode of the podcast is a real eye opener! http://yourkickasslife.com/173 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There’s a chance that anyone listening to this podcast has dealt with feelings of anxiety and depression. Our guest today is Quentin Vennie, and he’s openly battled and survived not only these afflictions, but he’s also overcome addiction and now encourages others to be proactive in caring for their mental health. In this episode, Quentin talks openly about his struggles growing up being a male in the community he was raised in and the expectations that society had on him as being a man. He shares how this contributed to his anxiety and depression disorders, but by listening you’ll hear how he was able to use different modalities and paths to process and for healing himself. http://yourkickasslife.com/172 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m so excited to bring you today’s show with guest Maria Felipe. Marie is an author who’s achieved success as a model and actress, and used to be a WWF hostess! She has so much energy that it’s infectious, and you’re going to absolutely love listening to her story! As you’ll hear, Maria’s own journey started with her trying to find happiness inside her, and she started doing the deep work to heal herself. She recognized that we’ve been run by a society that is ego driven, and this makes us feel that fear and sadness is normal. Maria is trying to change this thinking though through her work, and to show people that happiness and feeling at peace is actually normal. http://yourkickasslife.com/171 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My friend Beth Grant posted something on Facebook recently that caught my attention. She said, “Purpose is a need of the ego, to make it feel important. I'm much more interested in self-expression. I would much more focus on PATH than purpose. I would want you to do that, too. To find your true path and live it. Every path has a purpose, after all ... life is a learning experience and your path is a means of self-expression. I've said it a thousand times ... your purpose in life is to be yourself. That's it. It's not more complicated than that.” I’ve written about purpose before. I’ve always felt it was this thing in personal development that some gurus treat as a kind of secret. That once we find our purpose in life we’ll FINALLY feel like we have all our shit together, we’ll feel like we’re “fixed”, and we can join their secret club and wait for the others to join in. And I think that’s bullshit. I do feel like I’m lucky and not lucky that I feel I’ve found my purpose, but lucky that I don’t feel the need to find IT. The One Thing. The ultimate portion of my life that will make me feel fulfilled. To be clear, I actually DO feel like I’ve found my purpose. It’s not life coaching, or mothering my children, or even speaking out about things I’m passionate about. My purpose, like Beth mentions above, is my path. It’s my life. And I do think that when one does dive into personal development, this becomes a trap. Just another topic to entice people with like the dangling carrot. I totally understand where this comes from on a deep level. We want to know that our lives matter. We want to feel that we matter. That we’re not just taking up space in this crowded, noisy world. And I wish I could snap my fingers and just tell you, “Let it go, sister! Your purpose is your path. Just accept it.” and all is well and you can skip along your life feeling relieved. Maybe it is this easy, but what if it’s not? Quite honestly, I don’t think it’s my job to convince you. What I can tell you is one of the things that is paramount in working on is surrender and self-trust. Surrendering means that you give up the notion that there is this one true destiny for you. That you give up that you have to know The Answer and that if you can just figure it out, you’ll be happier, and that’s your solution. Surrendering doesn’t have to mean you pray over your crystals or mediate to the archangel/goddess/priestess of the day to show you the way. I think those are all fine things to do but that’s not how I do it. Read the rest of the article HERE Resources from this post: What if you haven’t found your “thing” yet? http://yourkickasslife.com/170 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/169 Since many of you are new to the YKAL community (if you are, Haiiii!) I thought it would be helpful to record a quick episode and post about what’s coming for the rest of the year as well as what you can expect in 2018. All I can say is: GET READY TO KICK SOME ASS. First, my free workshop on my 3 Most Effective Ways to Manage Your Inner-Critic is coming up on September 21st. Go here to sign up for that or text the word GREMLIN to 444999. The class: Kick Your Gremlin’s Ass is coming next week too. This is the LAST TIME I will run this live. If you feel your life is being run by negative self-talk, this class is for you! (If you sign up for the workshop above, there’s special bonuses and a price break.) MY NEW BOOK HOW TO STOP FEELING LIKE SHIT COMES OUT ON JANUARY 2nd! (Pre-order here, y’all) There will be a study group for the book led by yours truly. Registration opens late January, and we’ll start sometime in February. Go here to be the first to know about that. I’ll also be doing a book tour and hitting cities for book signings, meet-ups and small, exclusive workshops. When I sent out a survey a few months ago many of you said instead of doing multi-day retreats, you’d love to be able to come to a half-day workshop, so that’s what I’m doing! If you want to know if I’m coming to a city near you, click here and sign up to be notified! RAISE HELL is coming in April. OMG, y’all. I’m so excited for this class I can barely stand it. Raise Hell is about you taking back your life. It’s about figuring out what you want, what you need, asking for it, and going after it with support from me and your group of soul sisters. It’s about accountability and feeling fear and walking through it. It’s about you. THE MENTORSHIP is coming next fall. We’re diving deeper into things like core beliefs, vulnerability, negative self-talk, shame resilience, and whatever primary focus you bring. There will also be a weekend retreat and 1:1 sessions with me included in this group. For a small group of women by application only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/168 Hey Ass-Kickers! This is an episode that’s a little more “woo-woo” than normal, but I’ve just been really attracted to these types of topics lately – and y’all get to come along with me! Lisa Fabrega is a truth-telling coach, writer and innovator in the realm of leadership, and today we’re talking all about our souls and how they will constantly need to be re-aligned due to the societal pressures we face. She also shares with us how we can start to listen to our souls, and a whole lot more interesting information that is sure to get you assessing your own situation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/167 “They call me Cha Cha...because I’ m the best dancer at St. Bernadette’s” Everyone has their favorite character from the movie Grease. Maybe you relate to Sandy and her quest for true love, or goofball Frenchie. For me, my absolute love affair has always been with the character Cha Cha DiGregorio. Of course she’s a fictional character, played in the movie version by the late Annette Charles, but even as a child I’ve loved her. She played a smaller role in the movie, but it didn’t matter to me. Everything she was about, I loved. However, the attributes of her character that I adored about her, are also the things we, as women, are not particularly celebrated for. In other words, even in the movie, Cha Cha was not well liked. First, we are introduced to Cha Cha by Kenickie, where she says, “They call me Cha Cha...because I’m the best dancer at St. Bernadette’s” This woman actually does what we are told not to do: brags about herself. She knows she’s the best damn dancer and she tells people SHE JUST MET. HELL YES. And holy crap, she IS a great dancer. Then, she sees Danny on the dance floor, grabs him and they start dancing, Sandy storms off in a huff. Sandy could have stood up to Cha Cha, she could have said, “Hey Danny, WTF, you came to the dance with me so why are you dancing her her?” But noooo, since we all love Sandy so much, we all feel sorry for her and hate Cha Cha for being such a bitch. Here she is leaving all “WAHHH, someone stole my date and I won’t fight to get him back.” But, the way I looked at it was WOW. Cha Cha sees what she wants and goes after it. And no, I don’t condone snatching other people’s dates, but if we look at this strictly as symbolism, Cha Cha is a woman who doesn’t give a shit if she hurts someone’s feelings. She’s not concerned about “playing nice” So, she and Danny and killing it on the dance floor, and then this happens Holy shit. Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/166 Today we have Isabel Foxen Duke joining me again on the podcast, this time to talk about how women are experiencing the diet culture. I love having Isabel as a guest and I’m excited because she is an absolute expert on this topic! In today’s world, women are getting so many messages from the media and the body image issues that arise can lead us into multiple behaviors. I open up in this episode about my own past relationships with food and eating, and it’s something that I haven’t shared like this in any of the past episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/165 Hey Ass Kickers! I’m joined today by best selling author (and so much more!), Shannon Kaiser. Shannon’s new book is called The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself, which goes along so well with what we talk about here on the Your Kick-Ass Life Podcast. Through her work, Shannon shows others how to fall in love with their lives and fearlessly live their full potential. But do we really know what self-love is, and how to love the parts of us that we think are unlovable? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi. So, the way it works over here is that the weekly emails and podcast episodes get ready several days in advance. Saves everyone on the YKAL team some stress and what can I say— I like to be prepared. And then the events in Charlottesville, Virginia happened on Saturday. I’ve been sitting here at home with my kids sick over it, spending long moments staring off into space feeling worried, helpless, hopeless, angry, and afraid. (Which I know this is my privilege to do so). Wondering if I should halt all podcast episodes and other events I have going on. Seems ludicrous to talk about anything but that. The thing is, racism is all around us. It’s in our faces. And it can only be dismantled if we talk about it, get uncomfortable confronting and admitting our own biases, rinse and repeat. There is more, but as I have mentioned— I am not the expert here. If you missed some episodes where we dive more into this, you can check them out here and here. Yes, we can choose kindness and love and all those wonderful things, but we cannot sit by and do nothing. Reading and listening is a great first step. Some great pieces of writing I’ve read lately are Most Women You Know Are Angry— And That’s All Right, by Laurie Penny, and Dear White Women: This Is Definitely Us, by Janelle Hanchett (which, btw, Janelle is coming on the recovery series podcast in December. Get ready). And at the end of the day, the beat still goes on. We can do both— work on our own personal development, live our lives, and love our people and at the same time try to dismantle the racism all around us. xo, Andrea For full post visit: http://yourkickasslife.com/164 Hey Ass Kickers! In this episode I’m bringing on a guest that has a similar story as mine, in that he too had a painful divorce that became the catalyst for his better life. John Kim created the blog The Angry Therapist, and although he has a background in clinical therapy, he’s now unconventional and shaking up this model and actually forming a movement. You’ll hear us talk a lot about the differences between therapy (as most people know it) and life coaching – particularly the style that John uses to bring out the best in each and every client he works with. Like John, I’ve always felt that the clinical therapy route is somewhat outdated, with the therapist often being put up on a pedestal with the client thinking he or she has a “perfect life”. You’ll find that he’s as real as they come though; he’s raw and transparent, and openly admits that he himself is a work in progress. I think this is why his message resonates with so many people… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/163 Hey Ass Kickers! I can absolutely guarantee that this episode of the podcast is unlike any that you’ve listened to (as if you couldn’t tell by the title)? I wanted to do something a bit different, so I’m bringing on two good friends, and pasts guests: Amy Smith of The Joy Junkie and Kira Sabin of The League of Adventurous Singles. Both Amy and Kira will be co-hosting Tanning, Tacos and Transformation with me, and I thought this episode would be a great way for me to introduce you to them - if you don’t already know who they are! I promise you are going to hear some personal development and topics we talk about a lot of the podcast: worthiness, confidence, boundaries, relationships and more. Most of this chat though is us asking each other some ridiculous questions, for which we have some even more ridiculous answers. I do want to warn you that there is a lot of foul language in this one, and it contains probably the most bad words I’ve ever had in an episode (needless to say, today’s conversation isn’t for children)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/162 Hey Ass Kickers! Today’s guest is Orly Wahba, the CEO of Life Vest Inside. She’s here to talk all about how kindness is the greatest tool we have for empowering ourselves – and as Director of Kindness Boomerang, CEO of Kindness USA, and the author of Kindness Boomerang, Orly is a great person to share her insights on the subject. As you’ll hear from Orly, who you are means a lot more than what you do, and we need to recognize that we all have the power to resolve the issues that our society is facing today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://www.yourkickasslife.com/160 Hi ass kicker! I’m so excited to have returning guest (two weeks in a row!) Elizabeth DiAlto on the show today for another Q & A episode. So many of you-- on your quest to live YOUR kick-ass life, have dreams, goals, and ambitions, But, what happens when not everyone is onboard or in our cheering section? The two questions today are from women in the YKAL community who are asking just that. We're talking about some really juicy topics, so let’s dive in… The first question comes from Jennifer. She asks: How do you stay committed to your dream when your spouse or significant other is not on board? How do you continue to speak your truth and not just bite your tongue and abandon your dream to keep the peace? Elizabeth and I talk about what to do in that situation-- do you keep trying to get your partner on board, or do something else? We have advice! Then, Rachel asks a similar question: What do you do when you feel like your dreams and ambitions are surpassing those of your family members, and they don't know how to handle it? I've grown a lot over the last couple years, but some of my older siblings haven't. I feel like I'm "showing off" around them now, or like I have to act less-developed or hold back. These are people I still want in my life. I almost feel guilty for growing ? I don't, by any means, feel like I'm better than them, at all. I'm just in a different stage of my personal development journey than they are, and it feels uncomfortable. For Rachel, is this a boundaries issue? Should she “quiet herself down”? We’ve got answers to these Q’s and my guest Elizabeth was the perfect person to have on to help sort things out! And hey-- if you liked this episode you would LOVE the free workshop we are hosting tomorrow! Well, ELizabeth is going to do most of the talking and I'll be more of her sidekick. I love these kind of live workshops because we get to interact with you and I will be giving away a signed copy of my book during the workshop! Plus, we have a private, “pop-up” Facebook group that you’re invited too (also free) where we can further the conversation. The workshop is titled Four Things You Can Do To Clear Out The BS In Your Life and Be More Receptive To What You Actually Want and you can head over to yourkickasslife.com/elizabeth to sign up for free, or click the image below. See you there! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/160 Hey Ass Kickers! Today I’m joined by my friend, and another past guest of the podcast, Elizabeth DiAlto! Elizabeth is a teacher, leader, speaker and coach (as well an author and podcast host) and she is known for her raw, honest and grounded approach to self-help and spirituality. In this episode you’re going to hear all about the workshop Elizabeth and I are presenting this month, specifically for the Your Kick-Ass Life audience, surrounding practical tools for women to be more receptive to what they want in life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/159 Hi ass kickers! It’s a listener Q & A day! Today I bring on my long-time friend, Courtney Webster, to help me answer three questions from some awesome ladies in the YKAL community. Here they are and what we cover in today’s episode: I don't know how to phrase it...you finally decided to make a radical change or take a huge risk toward something big. How to overcome the resulting fear and doubt and keep the momentum. - Karen Courtney and I pull out some of our finest coaching tools to answer this questions-- everything from the WHY to values to permission to make mistakes. We ask some further challenging questions for Karen to ask herself to help create more momentum. The second listener question is similar to Karen’s, but so important to help creating the life you want. How do you not to go into "avoidance or stall mode" when your inner-critic starts in on your big change plan resulting in you not proceeding with your plan! - Diane Courtney and I talk about: What the inner-critic’s main job is and how it stops you, and how to make the small steps to bypass it. The most important question your coach should ask you about accountability. Questions to ask yourself if you’re on your own and don’t have a coach, but still want to kick some ass. Our last question is one I thought SO many of you could relate to… How do you stop yourself from obsessing or overanalyzing something that someone said to you? Or replaying situations or conversations in your mind? As the Frozen girls would say, how do you "let it go" when it is something not worth asking the other person about or clarifying with them? I feel like in today's world, especially with texting, it is so easy to assume someone is mad when at you when they just text back an emoji thumbs up, or worse, the letter 'k." How do you stop turning something into a big deal in your head when most likely they were just tired, stressed, or too busy to think of a better response? -Stefanie For this question we discuss: The brain science of what’s happening here, so hopefully the awareness around that will help. The magic of being able to assign a different assumption to what we receive instead of assuming the worst. What’s your responsibility and what’s theirs. Also, If you’d like to get twice a month updates on free workshops and if I have a new class open for registration, simply text the word UPDATES to 444999. Enjoy the episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/158 Hey Ass Kickers! In this episode, Jen Sincero returns as a guest of the Your Kick-Ass Life Podcast. Jen is a #1 NY Times Bestselling Author with her book, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life and she’s helped countless people transform their personal and professional lives. Last time Jen was on the show, she shared all about the power of surrender, why creativity isn’t limited to just art, and powerful exercises to get clear on who you are and why you’re here. Today, we’re talking about something we all face: how to uplevel your mindset around money, identifying the fears you’re carrying and how to overcome them so you can live your best life possible. Jen reveals today what you’ll learn from her latest book, You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth. With a title like that, you know this is an episode that you need to tune into! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/157 Hi ass kickers! Today I’m talking about therapy. More specifically, how to choose a therapist that’s right for you as well as how to get the most out of therapy. First, why therapy? If you keep repeating the same patterns, if you’re blaming a lot (you are tolerating bullshit or not taking responsibility for your own shit, or both) then therapy is for you. If you have Family of Origin issues (who doesn’t?), then therapy is for you. Not a place to blame and shame your family, but to see what core beliefs were developed as a result of the wounds that happened as you grew up. If you need a safe place to talk to someone, therapy is for you. First, how do you find a therapist that’s best for us? Google? Just get a referral from someone? A therapist whose website says they have a specialty you need? Well, with my own years of experience of therapists, having great ones and not so great ones, here’s my advice and the advice of the smartest people I know: My Facebook friends. In this episode you’ll hear some highlights (keep in mind, I go into more detail on the podcast that what you’ll read below): First, how to find one: Stacy says, “Research their areas of concentration. Have an initial meeting, chemistry is important. Honesty is important, it is hard to be vulnerable, but the best therapist in the world cannot help if you keep things from them.” Patty says, “You are about to spend A LOT of time with this person so have an initial call or session to determine if you click. Plan to interview at least 3 but possibly 10 therapists to find a good one. It used to be that a therapist approach (cognitive, behavioral etc) was important but almost every therapist says they are "eclectic" now so ask them what they believe creates change for someone. See if their answer resonates with you. Most of all trust your gut.” Jennifer says, “Listen to your intuition in terms of how you feel interacting with them, ensure they have a specialization and/or experience in your presenting issues (it's hard to be truly skilled at everything).” Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/156 Hey Ass Kickers! Have you ever considered the deeper meaning behind personal development, and the self-help industry as a whole? This episode today with guest Andrea Ranae is guaranteed to get you thinking (and talking), and what she talks about affects everyone, not just coaches or someone in the self-help industry. Andrea is a coach herself who wrote a blog post last summer titled, Why the Self-Help Industry Isn’t Changing The World, which went viral and has been shared thousands of times since. She believes there is a disconnect between our own industry and the work of social justice, and even offers a Coaching As Activism Program to her clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/155 Today’s episode is a bit different than my usual. I’ve brought on Amy Smith (my best friend and The Joy Junkie) as I tell the story of my father’s terminal illness and death, what it’s been like, and what I’ve learned in the seven months since it’s happened. Amy shares the story of her father’s death too. Amy prompts me to answer the questions of: How has it been doing all of this sober? What has this taught you? I thank you all for listening to this episode-- it was not easy to record, but I’m thankful for Amy for helping me and for all of you for being there. I hope this helps any of you who’ve also loved someone you love, have been through any grief of your own, or to help anyone that will someday walk this same path. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/154 Hey Ass-Kickers! On today’s episode I welcome Tatiana Jerome to the show to give it to us straight – as a woman who doesn’t sugarcoat the truth! Her personal experiences led her to not just a successful online presence but also a career counseling women and a public speaking. Tatiana teaches how to focus on loving and taking care of ourselves first. As she shares, by prioritizing your relationship with yourself, you won’t get lost in relationships with others - and she shares fascinating insights around this topic today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/153 Hi ass kickers, Today is a Listener Q & A day! Thank you so much to those of you who’ve submitted questions for the podcast. We have two today, so let’s get started: The first Q is from Stacey: Hi Andrea, I absolutely love your book and your podcast. As a 25 year old with loads of anxiety, I have gained a ton of knowledge and also a great sense of support with your community. I've been seeing a therapist for a year, and I definitely have found myself obsessing over emotions and feelings when my sessions begin and end. Have you ever stopped therapy to take a break? It sometimes makes me feel like I put so much focus on feelings that I obsess over them and lose the rational side of myself. The answer I give covers, anxiety and what to do about that, self-trust and much more. Listen in to hear my answer/experience/advice! For the second Q, I bring my one of my dearest friends, Kate Anthony, (you may remember her from another listener Q & A on divorce and heartbreak). This question comes from a listener named Amy: I would love a podcast about what it really means and looks like to be with your feelings. I alternate between numbing and anxiety that can go into full blown panic attacks. It’s causing problems at work and more importantly my marriage. I'm not as patient with my kids and really just don't want to deal with anything at all. Why can't there be a 12-step to dealing with depression and anxiety? What do I do next? I'm working on yoga and meditation, and exercise a least 4x a week. To the outside world I'm strong, calm and have the ideal life. I have lost two people very close to me. My sister two years ago and not even a year ago my stepdad passed away who I considered my father. I really don't want to take medication. I have always been a worrier and people pleaser. In addressing this question, Kate and I talk about: Why just yoga, meditation, and exercise are probably not working for Amy. Medication-- should she take it or not? What happens when you don’t feel your feelings, like grief? HOW to actually feel your feelings? We give two tools to start with. My immense thanks to these two podcast listeners for submitting their questions. Your courage is inspiring and helps others. If you’d like to submit a question to the podcast, you can shoot an email to [email protected] with “question for the podcast” in the subject line. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/152 Hey Ass-Kickers! In this episode I’m joined by Alexandra Jamieson, who is on a mission to start a happiness pandemic in the USA. How you ask? Alex aims to inspire women to fall in love with their bodies and play life by her own rules! You may recognize Alex from her co-starring role in the massively popular 2004 documentary, Super Size Me. She’s here today to share her experiences and knowledge about the different types of cravings we get as women, and to educate us on why listening to our bodies is absolutely necessary. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

https://andreaowen.com/coaching/dreams-come-true/ Today’s post/episode could have been titled simply, “Tips to Live a Better Life” -- it simply is tips on how to make your life better, more peaceful, and yes, how to make your dreams come true. So, here they are, in no particular order... Be okay with where you are right now. You may feel like you’re faaaar away from where you want to be. Instead of focusing on how much X, Y, and Z sucks, try focusing on what you want, how you’re going to change where you are, and how grateful you are for what you DO have. Total, complete change of focus. You’ll be amazed at how things change just by shifting your mindset while you work on changing your circumstances. Hold steadfast to what you want and WHY you want it. Why do you want to own your own business? Why do you want to take a trip to Europe? Why do you want to finish your Masters? What will you get out of doing these things? Figure out the whys and then look for how you can fulfill those feelings now in your life. For example, if it’s freedom that you want out of your goals, think about ways you can feel free now. De-clutter your house? Running through fields of flowers with your arms outstretched? It may be on a much smaller scale, but you’re fulfilling a core feeling that’s truly important to your soul. Feed it! Surround yourself with awesomeness. Your physical environment is imperative to your dream life. Like I always say, surround yourself with assholes and you’re in for a shitty life (Tweet that!). This goes for people and your surroundings. Do you love your bedroom? Is the inside of your car a wreck and you hate it? Do you loathe all of your clothes? Well then for the love of Pete change it! It’s a lot easier to feel good about yourself when you’re surrounded with what and who you love. Clean up your messes. Basically, say you’re sorry if you’ve been a shit. I apologize to my kids about once a week. About the same to my husband. This may seem unrelated to making your dreams come true but this one is about peace. When you clean up your messes you have peace. And when you have peace you open up doors for what you want to enter. Forgive those that have hurt you. Holding grudges and not forgiving those that have hurt you really is like setting yourself on fire and hoping the other person chokes on your smoke. You are the one that is suffering, not them. Forgiving someone else (even when they don’t ask for it and may never know that you did) is all about you loving yourself enough to know that you can’t change the past. That’s it. Deal with your shit. We ALL have issues, so get help for it. Even those people you think are perfect that sprinkle glitter smiles all over the place— somewhere in their life they have issues with parents, trauma, relationships, something. You are no exception. There is no shortage of help out there. That stuff doesn’t go away on its own and your dreams coming true are dependent on it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/150 Hey Ass Kickers! Today’s guest on the podcast is Lisa Steadman, a long-time friend of mine and all-around awesome lady. Her energy is infectious and I’m sure you’ll love her! In this episode we’re talking all about happiness, and embracing the spot that you’re currently in. Lisa shows us that you can be happy with where you are in life, but still that doesn’t mean that you’re finished growing or changing either. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/149 I believe people change for two reasons: Pleasure and/or pain. They see something they want or want more of, and they go after it. And sometimes, they get to a place where they cannot stand for one more day being where they are, so they move out of the situation. Sometimes it looks like taking action, sometimes it’s inner-work, many times it’s a combo of the two. And there are the type of people who are feeling anywhere from uncomfortable to downright shitty in their life, and maybe they don’t know why. So, I’ve compiled a list of signs that are huge red flags that it’s time to make a change. Check off as needed… 1. You’re ridiculously envious of other people lives. You think everyone has it better and easier than you do. You want a marriage like your neighbor. You want to love your job like your sister does. You want a more fun life like that one lady on Facebook. You want to dance like the Solid Gold dancers of 1979. Whatever it is you’re envying, it means you want something more in your life. That you admire something about that other person. So, why can’t you have it? If you think you can’t, I call bullshit. Your commitment to “can’t” is simply a story you’re tied to. Divorce that story and marry a new one. Seriously, you guys, it’s ALL about the story you tell yourself. 2. You’re feeling resentful. I.e. pissed. Frustrated. Irritated. Resentments are a sure sign that a few different things might be happening in your life. There’s a failure to communicate somewhere. Solution: You have the power to show up and say your truth. Has that happened? Guess whose responsibility that is? Boundaries may be crossed. Solution: First- have they been established previously? If not, that’s on you. Tied into the other two, you’re tolerating something that very well may have the ability to be changed. Solution: Either change it, or change your story around it. 3. You’re numbing out. We all want to feel relief fast. Sometimes that relief comes in spending money, drinking booze, or losing ourselves playing Candy Crush Saga. But, what are you avoiding when you’re numbing out on a regular basis? Is it your marriage? Your fears? Your insecurities? For me, I used to numb out when I was overwhelmed. Perfectionism and control ruled me and since neither were ever something I could attain, I felt worse about myself. So, I drank, shopped, and dieted in an attempt to gain perfection and control and to numb the feelings of failure and fear. And then I felt worse and the cycle started all over again. I was avoiding my real feelings (surrender, acceptance, and vulnerability scared the holy shit out of me) rather than facing and feeling them. But clearly, it was time for a change. Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/148 Hey Ass Kickers! On today’s podcast I’m joined by Julie Parker, CEO and Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy (with 200 trained life coaches from around the world and growing by the hundreds every year)! As you’ll see, Julie has a fascinating journey and insights on self-love. She’s is a modern day Priestess and she’s going to share what this is all about, along with how it ties into the divine female that we’ve been repressing for so long. Even if you’re new (like me) to what the whole “Priestess” thing is-- I think you’ll like this episode :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://www.yourkickasslife.com/147 Today’s episode is about your personal development journey and what it looks like. More specifically, for people who maybe like to “hoard” or collect personal development tools, but not use them. Or people who join personal development classes, read books, and listen to podcasts, but take no action. And the reasons are plenty-- you’re just not ready. Maybe you’re scared it won’t work for you, scared of the uncomfortableness of the work or not committed enough to change. To be fair-- most people spend some time in that place of collecting personal growth ideas and tools and doing nothing with them. But...are you living there? This episode will help you see if you’re doing this, let you know you’re normal, as well as what personal development actually looks like. Because it’s one thing to say, “I want a kick-ass life!” But...what does that really mean? And of course, wherever you are is perfect for you! It’s the awareness that’s the win! I hope you enjoyed this week’s episode as much as I enjoyed recording it for you ;) Oh, and P.S...there’s an extra bit in the beginning about facing my birthday while grieving my father's death. I always try to give you a bit of real life. If you’re ready to JUMP IN to your personal development, I invite you to join us one last time as I guide you through The 30-Day Experience. We’ll look at your core belief system (the beliefs that are fueling your negative self-talk), your habits that are making you feel like shit (the perfectionism, people pleasing, numbing out, isolating, you know...good ol’ self-sabotage). Learn how to be kind to yourself, have more self-confidence and have better relationships with the people you care about. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/146 Today I welcome back a recurring guest of the podcast, my dear friend Jo Casey. Jo joined us in a previous episode of Your Kick-Ass Life to talk about the business of life coaching, but today, we’re looking at something different: How women are conditioned by our culture to be “acceptable women.” Jo’s going to shed some light on what she calls “feminine conditioning.” Why are women so afraid to be different, and what role has society played in vilifying us? Is there a box that we’re supposed to fit into, and if so, how is being in it holding us back? If these are things you’ve often wondered about, then you’re going to be enlightened by Jo and the powerful message she shares with us today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/145 The term “Play Big” gets thrown around like crazy lately. And you might wonder—what does that even mean or look like? How do you know if you’re playing small? I know this firsthand because I played small for most of my life. It wasn’t until I fell flat on my face and rebuilt my life did I see what was happening and how to change it (and the best part was that *I* was totally in charge). I thought about the foundation to what it is to actually live a big life. So, here’s a list of in my experience, what it looks like to Play Big: People that play big don’t give a shit what other people think of their dreams and goals. They may listen and take it in, but at the end of the day they do what they feel in their hearts is what they want. People that play big are in touch with what they want on the OTHER side of their goals. In other words, they tap into the feeling they really want from what it is they’re after. You want a promotion? Think about what that will bring you, what you’ll feel like when you get it. Accomplishment, validation, recognition, achievement, power. Any of those you want? (And btw- it’s totally fine to want things like power.) These are your values and when you honor them, you’re playing big. People that play big don’t apologize for what they want. Ever. (Tweet that) People that play big strive to be the best and biggest version of themselves. They get help with their issues. They take responsibility for their lives. They focus on self improvement as if their life depends on it. Because it does. People that play big are of service to others. They’re mentors, they’re philanthropists, they’re generous with their knowledge. No one really gets anywhere for long by being a selfish asshole. People that play big take action like crazy. They don’t sit around and blow smoke out their asses about it, or wait until it’s perfect, or need to get everyone’s opinion/approval on it. They just go for it. And if it fails they pick up the pieces and move on. People that play big are fully aware that it’s more about mindset than it is action. Yes, taking action important and great, but in order to get there you must get your head in the game first. They don’t believe they are different or less-than the people they admire. They see the people they want to emulate and know deep down they can do that too. There is no guarantee things will work out the way you envision when you do get out there and play big but you must understand that if you wait years or decades to go after what you want, to “play big” until you feel like you finally “have what it takes” you might be waiting forever. Yes, it’s uncomfortable to stretch and go after the big things you want, but the alternative is to do nothing. And doing nothing and someday regretting your decision is going to be WAAAAAY more uncomfortable than trying to step outside of your comfort zone now. There is still time to join us for the 7-Day Courage Challenge! Join the hundreds of women already signed up for a week of learning how to manage your negative self-talk and how to cultivate self-compassion and courage. Click this link to sign up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/144 Mini-sode 144 is all about negative self-talk. Because you don’t have a “life balance” problem. You don’t have a “not promoted enough” problem. You don’t have an “I don’t work out enough” problem. You have a problem with the way you speak to yourself. In this episode I tell you about my experience learning how to manage my own negative self-talk, and how I came to find out about it just as my life fell apart in 2007. Join us on April 3rd as I host the wildly popular FREE 7-Day Courage Challenge! Hundreds of women just like you. 10 minutes a day. Learn how to change your life. Click here to join us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/143 Hey there Ass Kickers! I’m so excited for you to meet my guest today, Kathleen Booker. I met Kathleen over a year ago and I’m excited to finally have her on the podcast to introduce you to her as well. She’s an inspirational coach whose energy has been described as “infectious” (and you’ll know why after hearing her speak today)! Kathleen is passionate about something that many of us might not even give a second thought to during the day: our breathing. She knows first-hand the energy, peace and joy that something so simple can create in our lives, and she’s going to share her knowledge on this topic with us today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/142 If you've been over in these parts of town for any length of time, you know I talk a lot about numbing out and how it can be harmful for us. I’ve talked about my own sobriety and even have a recovery series on my podcast. The truth is: we like to escape. We typically don't like to feel our feelings. Life is hard and sometimes agonizing. Not many of us are equipped to handle life's struggles, so we find things to escape from it. And the message we might be getting is that we shouldn’t ever do this. We shouldn't ever numb out. We need to be with our feelings, be present to our life no matter how difficult it is. So, is escapism ever okay? Honestly, my short answer is yes. I don’t by any means expect people to fully let go of all of their numbing mechanisms. I just don’t believe there’s any way we can let go of them and go through life with all the pain and agony there is to experience. Some of the most evolved humans I know still sometimes choose numbing over facing their problems and feelings around it. Even Brené Brown talks about a time where she read a bunch of mean comments about herself on the Internet and promptly “grabbed a jar of peanut butter, a blanket and watched ten hours of Downton Abbey.” So, the question becomes what is healthy escapism and what isn't? I think the first question to ask yourself, is is your escapism chronic? In other words, are you eating too much cake every day? Or are you shopping online and putting yourself in debt? Drinking an entire bottle of wine every night? Not tending to your kids’ needs because you’re playing Candy Crush like it’s your job? Most of the time, you know when it’s too much. Denial is a powerful thing, but there comes a time when the pain of staying in your numbing mechanism outweighs the pain of facing the real problem underneath it all. And sometimes, we-- as high achieving, smart women-- can tend to let the pendulum swing completely the other way. We get “permission” to numb out sometimes and get what I call “a case of the fuck-its.” We know we’re doing it-- we know we’re numbing out, and we at that moment, don’t care. We eat All The Cake. Drink All The Wine. And maybe that’s part of your process to do that a few times. And if it is, when you’re done, check in to see how you feel. How is your self-talk when that happens? Usually, not so good. I’d bet you’re beating yourself up for eating All The Cake, or drinking All The Wine. And you beat yourself up internally, then you feel like shit...and how do we stop feeling like shit? More cake and more wine. OH THE INSANITY. This topic comes up a lot with my clients, and I always ask the same questions: Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/141 Hey Ass Kickers! Today you’re in for a treat, as our guest is an expert who is going to help us be our sexiest self! Melissa Ramos has a goal of adding a little sass to healthy living for women, and she looks at things from a slightly different perspective than most of us – starting from the inside out. On this episode, Melissa shows us how hormones or digestive issues could actually be holding us back from being as sexy as we could be, and why the answer to your health is in your poop! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/140 Two weeks ago I wrote about how YKAL is evolving, maturing, and what this means for you and for me. If you haven’t read it or listened, you can find it here. As I mentioned in that post, we are currently in a time where the U.S. (and other parts of the world) is extremely politically polarized. Social media was noisy enough before and now it’s been taken to a whole new level. And what I’m experiencing over here as an online business owner with a platform-- a community of people who listen to what I have to say via my podcast, blog, and social media-- is that I have a choice whether to talk about about this or not. I can continue to just go on “business as usual,” or I can implement my voice on these matters. There’s different ways this can look, but the choice is pretty black or white: Either I talk about it or I don’t. Several months ago, a colleague of mine, Racahel Maddox, posted on Facebook about this. This was before the election, even before the real messiness of it all. She was calling us out-- us being privileged people with online platforms. She was specifically calling out life coaches and those in the wellness industry with online platforms who were choosing to stay quiet about social justice issues. Who the hell does she think she is telling me what to do and how to run my business? I thought to myself. My belief was that no one can tell me how I speak out. No one can tell me what is right and what is wrong. No one can tell me I am a bad person because I choose to take my sweet ass time to decide what to do about this (that’s not what she said, but what I made up she said). In other words, I was personally offended and taken aback. After my ego left the room (it took a couple of weeks), I thought about why I reacted that way. And the conclusion I came up with was this: I was embarrassed because she called our asses out. I was scared because deep down I knew she was right-- I knew it was my responsibility to talk publicly about these social issue, but I didn’t know how. I felt guilty because I hadn’t spoken out sooner. I was worried how this would affect my reputation and my business, both I’ve worked hard on building over the last 10 years. All valid (and common) feelings, but feelings that are a) laden with privilege and white lady tears and b) don’t change the world. Then, the election happened, then the inauguration, then the whole country got flipped upside down and set on fire. And I thought about what Rachael had said. She was right. What I had to admit and knew in my heart all along, what I know now deep in my bones is this: Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/139 Today I’m joined by a repeat guest of the Your Kick-Ass Life Podcast: Rebekah “Bex” Borucki. She’s the founder of BEXLIFE®, a TV host, meditation guide, and fitness and yoga instructor (and so much more)! Rebekah is also now a published author, and her first book, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life, was released by Hay House in February 2017. How did she get to where she is today? Rebekah discovered mediation when she was 15 years old and she uses it as a tool to cope with life noise and regular daily events. She shares the grief she’s experienced in her life, and how she was able to deal with her parents deaths, as well as giving her thoughts on what the real purpose of life is truly about. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/138 There’s a conversation that’s been happening in these parts of town, aka my life coach friends, healers, those in the wellness industry who run online businesses. And the conversation is: Should we bring politics into our business? Should we talk about this to our audiences? Show of hands... who’s excited about talking about this more? Who’s excited about hearing about politics more? Probably not many of you. You come here for personal development. You come here to learn how to be a better woman, learn new tools, and hopefully for my good humor and charm. ;) What I’ve always wanted— what YKAL is— is a place where women can feel good about themselves. Where they can build confidence and courage and be proud of who they are. Proud of how they’re showing up in the world, proud of what they’ve created in their lives, proud of the hard conversations they have with themselves and with others. And at the end of the day-- me, Andrea Owen, creator of YKAL has to be that woman too. Proud of how I’m showing up in the world, proud of what I’ve created, proud of the conversations I have to have. And there has been no time in the last ten years of this work I do, where I have been asked more to walk that talk, than now What’s been happening over the last six months or so it I’ve been listening, watching, and processing. And my listening, watching and processing is my privilege showing. The fact that I have time to do so. Let me give you a little backstory. I was a proud Republican for a long time. I voted for George W. Bush in ‘04 and for John McCain in 2008. In Spring of 2009, while pregnant with my daughter, I took a women’s studies class called “Men and Masculinity.” It sounded interesting, it worked with my school schedule, and I needed it for credits to finish my bachelor's degree. Never in my life before had I been that interested in Women’s Studies. Maybe the Universe was conspiring to change my life. On the first day of class, we were asked to introduce ourselves to the person next to us. The young woman next to me told me her name and that she was a feminist. I said-- trying to be kind of funny, “Oh. Well, then I can tell you now you probably won’t like me.” She asked why and I said, “Because I don’t consider myself a feminist. And I’m a Republican.” At that point in time, I was 33 years old, and I didn’t know what feminism was, or patriarchy, or privilege (I thought people who had that were the Paris Hilton’s of the world), or even misogyny. That was the first time in a class, I did a lot more listening than contributing to the conversation. In essence, everything changed for me that semester. One of the things that changed was I realized what I had been so angry about for so long. That the anger and sometimes rage I had-- for not being taken seriously because of my gender, for being sexually harassed and assaulted, that there was a name for what I was really fucking pissed at. And it was sexism, misogyny, and patriarchy. So, back to this conversation with all of you. If you follow me on my personal Facebook page, you’ll see my public posts are vocal about politics and what I stand for and my opinions. And I’ve mostly kept them out of here and even my YKAL social media accounts. Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/137 Hey Ass Kickers! On today’s show, we’re talking money and retirement, and who better to help us dig deeper on these subjects than Amanda Steinberg. Amanda is the founder & CEO of Worth FM, a new digital financial advisor for women, and DailyWorth, the leading digital financial media company for women (with over 1 million subscribers to its daily e-newsletter)! In my talk with Amanda, we look at why women are so afraid to engage with money she helps us debunk the stories we’ve told ourselves when it comes to our finances. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/136 Hi ass kickers! Today I have a listener question I’m answering with my partner in crime/bestie/colleague/peanut butter to my jelly: Amy Smith. This episode is all about intimacy, vulnerability, and more. Even if you’re not partnered up, or have never had an affair, I’m 100% sure there will be nuggets in this episode to help you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Want to learn more about how to love yourself? Of course you do. Click here to join my free workshop on Self-Love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/135 On today’s show I’m joined by the Melissa Ambrosini: best selling author, keynote speaker, and self-love teacher. Melissa didn’t always practice what she preaches and after living what she calls a “superficial and outwardly focused life,” she came face-to-face with a major health scare that required hospitalization in 2010. Now she teaches others the importance of understanding self-worth and she shares the tips and tools around this subject that can change your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/R10 Hi ass kickers! This is the last episode in this round of the recovery series (season 2 will be out sometime in 2017. If you don’t want to miss it, make sure you’re signed up for updates here). Last fall, as I was about halfway through the interviews for this series, my father passed away. We learned he had a terminal illness, and about 3 weeks later he died. As a person in long-term recovery, this was the first time I’d faced something big while sober. For some, losing a loved one becomes too much, and they relapse. I can completely understand why this happens. In this episode, I talk about the following: My family story and how I was first introduced to what a functional alcoholic was. What the worst moments were when I came home from dealing with his death. What I thought the “rules of grief” were. What surrender has been like for me over the past few months. I answer the question: Did I want to drink again? What I did when I found myself sobbing on my kitchen floor. What I did to get through the multitude of feelings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/134 Hello Ass kickers! I’m super excited for y’all to hear this episode with my friend and colleague Laura Probasco. Laura is a mega ass-kicker and she brings it on today’s show. Her background is in social work and play therapy and she’s well-schooled in Brené Brown’s teachings which is how we first connected. Laura is the founder of Probasco and Associates as well as the co-founder of The Art of Play, a play therapy training program for individuals, schools and organizations. She has taken her work around the globe interacting with people from all walks of life. On this episode we dive into topics like vulnerability hangovers, hotwiring emotional connections, and the link between isolation and perfectionism. We also talk about: Why it’s normal to have vulnerability hangovers. Marble people: what are they and why do they matter? What does the term “breautiful” mean? Why you can’t have courage and comfort at the same time. The best tool Laura has used in her own personal growth journey. And much more! When it comes to vulnerability hangovers and “hot wiring” emotional connections, Laura shares a personal story from her own life (something many of us will relate to!). There are many lessons to take away from that story, including why we have vulnerability hangovers. A vulnerability hangover is when you’ve shared deeply personal experiences with someone, and you later worry about what you’ve said, how you said and how the person on the receiving end was left. The “hot wiring” is when we share this information with someone we don’t know very well, like a nearby passenger on an airplane in Laura’s case. I mean, who hasn’t spilled their guts to a stranger before!? During this show we talk about what to do if you’ve ever had a “hot wiring connection” or a vulnerability hangover, how to handle both and why they aren’t always bad experiences to have. Continuing on that theme, Laura shares how our need for intimacy combined with our need for perfection leads us into isolation. She offers great suggestions on how to cope when we begin to isolate ourselves, including how to reach out to those friends we know we can turn to when we’re in the darkness. We even give you a word for word script to use with these friends so you can ask for what you need. (Because I know you all love scripts!) There’s so much in this episode with Laura. She shares how she broke up with herself and why, the process and journey to worthiness and how to surrender control without losing your mind! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/R9 Hi ass kickers! This week on the recovery series I’m talking to Megan Peters. Megan is a blogger, photographer, mom and recovery warrior. She struggled with perfectionism and people pleasing growing up, which she says fueled her drinking problem. In this hour you’ll hear: Megan tells us her story about what her relationship with alcohol was like and when she knew it was time to quit. From an article Megan wrote: “I felt like I was constantly running, with no finish line in sight. No matter how hard I worked or how much I loved my family, I felt like I could never get my head above water. I was drowning.” She explains more about this. We talk about the shame and stigma that come with being a mother and an alcoholic and what to do about that. Megan tells us how she quietly got sober (she didn’t even tell her husband) and how her recovery changed over time into what she needed. We both talk about what’s it’s like to “just have one drink.” I ask Megan what advice she has for someone who’s struggling to stay sober-- for someone who stays sober a few days or weeks and then convinces herself she can have “just one” and then keeps finding herself in the same place over and over. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/133 Hey Ass kickers! Today we’ve got a special episode of the podcast as I bring on someone I’ve been friends with for a long time. Rachel Luna is a Best Selling Author, Speaker, Confidence and Mindset Coach, and she not only shares the tremendous story of her life, but how went from considering herself “damaged goods” to the place she’s now at and how she’s helping others be the best they can be as well. After listening to this one, I’m sure you’ll agree that when you show up and do the work, you’re going to see huge changes in your life too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/R8 Hi ass kickers! Today on the recovery series we have Danielle Gilmore, who considers herself a compulsive overeater, love and sex addict. Danielle found herself at 380 pounds at 25 years old and decided it was time to get help. I’m excited to have you hear her story because of a couple reasons: 1) I know people can replace addictions when they get sober from alcohol and food and other substances are what they often turn to and 2) I wanted to get a variety of stories because addiction isn’t just alcohol. I know many of you might struggle in different areas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices