Lucidesse - Inspiring Strokes of Genius

I share the richness of each moment, gained through awareness, presence, experience, breathing, revealing, becoming, deconstructing, change, source, compassion, patience…in one word, Meditation. It’s more than sitting with eyes closed. It’s everything. It’s the richest of the rich for every breath is precious.

I continue to swim in a deep mountain lake, exploring Hate, both present and past. These waters have led me to Power, or lack thereof, the loss of personal power. And the reclamation. I’m widening, broadening, encompassing more of life, more of me, by exploring the thing I despised most - Hate. It isn’t what I thought.

What's meditation really like? Like obsessing over a new toilet bowl scrubber, over and over and over... Truly. It's funny, absurd, crazy, humorous, ridiculous, compassionate, REAL REAL REAL. And always a gift I give myself. (and honestly, others!)

I share my recent experience and learning from the emotional teacher called Hate. It’s teaching me to feel hate, it’s ok, and to return to moments when I felt hate. To see hate. Look at it. Know it. Then decide. Hate is a powerful teacher for me, I appreciate all that I’m learning.

In the episode I share the many arcs of my meditation practice, along with Forgiveness as a clear waterfall of cleansing energy, and of Growth as a similar effervescent energy. I also speak to the uselessness of beautiful words when/if they don’t convey the energy the speak of.

This episode is of a powerful life story spoken by a beautiful woman, who also happens to be one of resilience, honesty, strength, courage, and most importantly, Self-ness: she is her self, and her self is her --- together they are an inspiring force of change, inner and outer. Thanks innumerable to this dear friend, mentor, woman, and Soul. I treasure you always, in All Ways.

If you start exactly where you are, you will get where you need to go. I started in an ‘ugly’ place of hate and trusted the process of being in the immediacy of the moment…that’s how I found myself moving toward the center of a labyrinth, creating a new structure of spacious learning, and seeking the softer dimensions of possibility and potentiality.

These are the words I wrote last week and I've been mulling them over since then...until I did a free-form journal session and found a few answers. But it wasn't actually until I was recording this episode that the fullness of these words came to me. That fullness is this: Build a healthy foundation and structure such that you can dismantle the unhealthy rape without imploding upon yourself, nor exploding upon others - do no harm. The greatest kindness we can offer each other is to dismantle the unhealthy within ourselves without harm. There may be hurt...but no harm. Love to you All.

I'm learning to do hard things, again. I was much better at it when I was younger, before all my 'failures'. Well, I want to remember that it's ok to do hard things, and to 'fail' - whatever that means. So, I'm setting small goals, like picking up my classical guitar for 15 minutes a day. Just picking it up! And learning the first step in doing something hard is...taking the first step!

I am on day 10 of not eating any sweets and treats, I want to understand why I feel like binging on them at times. What I share is what I’ve learned after 10 days! I’m curious to see what the next 20 will bring. 😊

My 2 AM ramblings about the truth of the energy of the body, how to listen to the body so that they become the story that is your truth, the growing out from the seed of your being. And how lies sever the cohesive communication network within.

I’m ahead of you!!! How many times have I thought this? Or decided that I was somehow ahead of other people in some area? Only to realize that you are ahead of me in other areas. So… who’s ahead of who? Who is better? Who is more? Who is richer? Who is AHEAD???

I share an update on the rape trial and the deeper lesson it is teaching me of feeling the immediacy of each moment...and sometimes even BEING the immediacy of each moment. All My Love to All :)

The mind can assist with Physical/Body Healing thru its ability to determine which energies are at play in the physical body. In this episode I share a recent find of 'petrified hate' in my body and how I used this discovery to help my body heal.

The true power of authority lies in balancing all the desires of those you serve. Another way to say that is: my desire is the weight of one feather, along with the feather of every other person's desire. My desire is not greater simply because I am in a place of authority. This is true both within ourselves, and without. In this episode I delve into this and more!

From my 'echo chamber' I offer a free-flow of words that brought me to a space of stillness, where "believe in me" appeared as a fully presenced presence. I Believe in Me. I Believe Me.

Transformation is so powerful, and yet, we can only change/alter/transform our tiny energetic self, while the rest of this reality surges forth with histories and stories and narratives which lie beyond our control. It's beautiful, humbling, and deeply mysterious how much and how little we are.

"Kindness is the potential for all things to be as they are." I said these words yesterday and they were like stars falling from the heavens into an understanding I have been seeking my entire life. What is Kindness? Well, this is as close as I've come to understanding... and it's a relief because I no longer need you to judge me, nor tell me if I'm kind, and I no longer need me to judge me and tell me. i trust this message from the quantum realm of all potential!

In this episode I share my story of a treasured friend who gifted me the best advice ever, plus the most wonderful clogs imaginable. Kristine, you are ever in my heart, always in my soul, and never far from my mind. Love you, eternally.

Fasting is a quickening of energy, even as the body slows. I share my emotional, mental, physical and spiritual experience of fasting, plus the many elements of quickening which occurred during my 3-day fast. I also touch upon the power of the breath during fasting, to get through those moments of great energetic shift. I invite you to add the many elements of fasting - mental, emotional, spiritual, physical - to your next fast, and to experience fasting as an energetic quickening. All Love To You!

I overheard these words as I walked by, and my mind began to discuss one of the possibilities of their meaning. And that has been on my mind now for a couple of weeks. Namely, sometimes life pulls you backward, so you can relive, remember, renew yourself by traveling back in time and space to see, feel, know experiences with 'updated' eyes. I'm currently being pulled backward, slowly remembering what I haven't wanted to address, and I assume life will release me and I'll slingshot back to where I am, back to right here. But with updated eyes, heart, mind, spirit.

In this episode I share a multi-day conversation I had with my lower back, as it exhibited great pain. I was desperate NOT to repeat a debilitating series of months-long pain, so I did all I could to remedy the emotional, mental, spiritual pain, in order to ease the physical pain. The core of these conversations with my lower back revolved around Trust & Forgiveness, which if you recall, was one of my 'called toward' goals from a few weeks ago, and is currently on my vision board for 2025. So - here's to using the difficulty to beneficial means.

I share how journaling at a moment when I felt like crying led me to a voice within that wanted to know "what's in it for me?" -- I listened to this voice, honored it's question and respected it's right to be heard. This led me to the beautiful request if made of me: Be with me, entangled in the opposition and connection. Love to you all, always.

A brief foray into goal-setting - in a balanced, open-hearted manner, instead of my old way of judgement and entrapment! I share 7 goals that I set with my mind, and how I transmuted them, using the wisdom of my body, into goals that I feel 'called toward'.

A brief foray into the sphere of Trust - as I choose to release judgement and trust the person over their actions and decisions. WHY? Because this person has shown me their integrity over many years and I care more about them than I care to judge their actions and be 'right'.

A night of sleepless struggles as I suffer through great loss and feel great shame for 'how I am' -- and attempt to be with the moment 'as it is, as well as negotiate with the differing parts of myself as they weigh in on my worth versus my failures. These nocturnal negotiations are not for the faint of heart. Perhaps they are for the heart which feels faint, and seeks a hand to hold, an ear of understanding, or a hug which spans all time and space.

I share my 2025 vision of attempting a life of Open-hearted Participation and it's relation to Surrender. I share how little I understand the complexity of human emotions yet strive for deeper insight in order to grow beyond my habitual patterns. I also dip my foot into the waters of IFS - Internal Family Systems - and share a few characters who live inside me and determine my experience of myself and others, and relating. Just a lot of me trying to figure out me, you, life, love, and the pursuit of just being ok. Here and Now. Oh, and thanks Dad. Love you. Miss you.

Join our lovely conversation and listen to the heartfelt wisdom and insights of Annika Kristiansen. Annika shares her practice of grace and understanding, of her work in connecting people and communities, and of her beautiful practice of trusting intuition. She also speaks about her magic words: I Accept! And the question she finds fascinating: What is your soul’s purpose? Annika also shares her thoughts on vision boards, manifesting, and the powerful generation of positivity within oneself. Thanks Annika, I loved this podcast, love you, and love ALL you bring to this world.

Today, I chat about the challenges and rewards of judging versus wearing, as it pertains to literal and figurative shoes. Do you really know me? Or what's best for me? And me in return, do I really know you? Could I possibly experience the truth of your You-ness, for one breath?

As I leave the trauma-womb I've been encased in for over a decade, I pause to ask "why?" Why did I need to go through all that, why did I need to take so much time, why did I lose the best years of my life, Why? Why any of it? I use the story, Toe Bone and the Tooth from the book Stealing Benefacio's Roses by Martin Prechtel as a perspective to returning from the depths with so little left to show for the arduous task. And the disappointment...which remains....

Revisiting the book "Women Who Run with the Wolves", the Handless Maiden tale as a testament to Endurance!, and touching on the truth of real Surrender versus Fake Surrender, oh, and the Trial continues....

An amazing and in-depth conversation concerning a local non-profit organization which is doing invaluable work. The Rape Recovery Center is celebrating 50 years of service and Laura Andersen, an Outreach Advocate for the organization, speaks with me about the many facets of rape recovery, including the three main populations this organization serves - Survivor, Supporter, and Society-at-large. In this conversation we speak about everything from the word "rape" and it's effect on people, to the decision to go to the hospital after rape, to confidentiality and victim-survivor rights, plus finding advocates and a network to support the healing journey, and how to find a therapist that can actually help with healing and recovering, plus navigating the judicial system, and why the college campus is such a vulnerable space. We speak about the high prevalence of sexual assault & rape in the state of Utah, and even touch upon the need to address the healing of perpetrators. This topic is near and dear to my heart, and I appreciate Laura's wisdom and passion and dedication!

The lovely Paul Benedict shares his depth, wisdom, honest reflections, raw insights, humor, heart and ever-answering of Life's questions in this wonderful episode. Thank you Paul, your answers and insight challenged me in many areas, specifically about Belonging, and how that relates to safety and respect. And also the transformative powers of our inner Darkness, and the titration, or moving forward and back, as we play with our new edges of growing into what is most afraid to grow. Thank you, Paul, please keep sharing you, and may Grace always be your guide.

Join us for a fun and enlightening interview with Curtis Forbush as he shares insights about life. We discuss money, patience, forgiveness, and pets as spiritual friends and guides. You'll notice we are seated at Dancing Cranes - and behind us are all Curtis' lovely friends who make his Soundbaths so remarkable. Be sure to visit his Facebook page for a listing of all events - try one out, I assure you he has a gift you'll appreciate! Here is the link for Curtis Forbush events: https://www.facebook.com/soundbathsforthesoul/

There is a wonder beyond explanation. And it awaits us. Our attention and our presence. This wonder is not a place, nor a time, nor a thing. It isn’t a feeling, or a thought. And most certainly not a dessert…As wonderful as they are. This wonder is beyond imagining. It is the unique Geometry of every Sound. Which reveals the signature of the cosmos. It is smaller than a dust mote. And grander than a ray of starlight. It is complex. Like the swirls upon the tips of our fingers. And simple. Like the flame Flickering from side to side. This wonder abounds. It cannot be alone. It must have friends. Wonder-full friends which play. together. And create everything. Like an all inclusive vacation. Where everything is… included. Every wonder waiting for us, The sunrise, the seabirds, the sand castles stretching to the heavens. the sunsets, the sailboats, the seashells dancing among the foam. such wonders! There is no explanation for these wonders. To consider them is to push against the boundaries of what we know. To know that we don’t know. We know only what we know. These wonders are beyond our understanding. Beyond our knowing. And yet, we know them. They are in the loss which leaves us empty. And the gain which leaves us full. We greet all their faces with awe. And head-bowed humility. Just as the tide greets the shore. And our breathe greets our heart, We greet every Wonder. For on this all inclusive vacation. Every wonder is for us. To experience. To live. every life awaits. To meet these wonders. And live. beyond explanation.Mikecolemusic, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

After years of positivity and healthy thoughts and behaviors, I find myself in a massive temper tantrum filled with all the SHOULD NOT's! Soooo.... my positivity was and is a bit premature, and forced, and hiding the truth. But, like a good ole volcano, the TRUTH outed itself - and surprised ME!

"You won't die until you learn to live with Joy in your heart."I continue to live by these words, words which were spoken to my heart many years ago. My journey to live with boundless, lasting Joy has been long, challenging, and enlightening. True Joy is boundless, beyond any bound or measure...and everlasting. I have far to go, but go I will. Always.

A watery musing which flows from Carl Jung's synchronicity to the iChing, to Will Farrell and Harper Steele's long-time friendship and recent Netflix documentary, to the non-gendered energy of this realm, to the gendered manifestation of the energy of this realm. Or maybe not? Anyway it goes, this is the best I understand Life today. :)** Music: A Clean Soul by Kevin MacLeod

During my morning meditation, it became very clear to me that my True North is not a destination, not a place, a person, a job, an event, an experience, a completion, nor beginning. It is a way-of-being. Always being. Always adapting, always responding, always...being. Just like this beautiful barometer from my ancestors.

My journey continues as I deepen in self-responsibility, hear the hard reflections of my self-righteousness from my amazing children, and experience self-trust as discomfort.

3 Life Questions with the lovely David Freed, who shared his wisdom of compassion, purposefulness, and the unending need to clean-the-house! As we all know!

Joy is NOT a feeling, nor a sensation, nor an experience. It's the constant undercurrent of all Life...just waiting to for...YOU!

The first chapter of my book! Wahooo! It's short, but it took a long time to write, to fit a lot of cryptic riddling information into a few words. That's how this narrator wants to speak, wants to teach you, the reader, and me, the "writer"! I'm just a conduit!

My current experience of Time and Space as both parents, a womb, and separate fabrics of reality that we connect through our thoughts, speech, actions.

I'm realizing that I've skipped important steps in the process of becoming... one of them is truly honoring my experience, honoring it as one with has equal validity to any other(s) experience. Even when my experience is far from the masses mainstream acceptable cultural societal familial 'program'.

How do you balance eternal scales? TThis is the question I heard in me after witnessing live court proceedings at my most recent hearing. I muse about this experience, and this unanswerable question, in this early morning episode revolving around Choice and Free Will. Do they exist?

I'm sitting on the floor, musing, rambling, processing, sharing, - all beautiful and chaotic and unknown and priceless - talking about my mom, in relation to me, and all manner of other things which arise! Love to you all - always.

Enjoy the uniqueness of Brett Evans as he shares his perspectives on hope, preferences, patience, and my favorite, "I don't know!" Thanks for a delightful and insightful conversation, Brett. Say hello to Shelly-dog, and your dear wife Stacey.

Enjoy the charming, southern rooted wisdom of Stan McGee, who is a long-time friend and soulmate on this journey. Stan offers great thoughts on boundaries, presence, and learning that extends into any decade of life! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Stan! Always a pleasure!

Update on the trial process, then returning to Oz for insight and direction! Link For Original Podcast of "The Wizard of Oz as a Sacred Road Map" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI-TlATo2Ow&pp=ygUvbHVjaWRlc3NlIHRoZSB3aXphcmQgb2Ygb3ogYXMgYSBzYWNyZWQgcm9hZCBtYXA%3D