LOVERS by shan

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off!  Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers.  — In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids? Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you. Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right. What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore? We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish. This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not. If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you. EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCENeed help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive  Follow Lisa Bilyeu → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you. Resources mentioned→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit → A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18  Follow Aida Mariam Davis→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/ → Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj   Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at http://masterclass.com/lovers  ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Mark Manson, the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope, and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, to talk about what men actually think about before they propose, and why waiting doesn’t mean what you think it means.Mark shares the story of how he “agonized” over proposing to his now wife of ten years. Despite being deeply in love, he struggled with doubt, timing, and the pressure to feel completely certain. The turning point came during a conversation with his stepmother, who told him she had been married for over thirty years and still couldn’t say with absolute certainty that she “knew” he was the one. That advice freed him from the illusion that certainty is required before commitment.We also unpack my own proposal story with Jared, including the untold truth about the pressure I put on him to propose and what was actually happening behind the scenes. The story I shared online isn’t the full story, and in this episode, we fill in the missing pieces.Lauren Morrison, my sister and the author of Be in the Room, joins as guest host. As a longtime fan of Mark Manson, she helps us dig into the myth of the two-year rule, the idea that if a man hasn’t proposed by a certain timeline, you must not be “the one,” and the false belief that real love comes with instant certainty.This conversation challenges the cultural narrative that a proposal delay reflects doubt about your worth. Instead, it reveals how doubt is often part of the process, not a sign that something is wrong.If you’ve ever wondered what’s taking so long, this episode is for you. Get MasterClass Today For real, what are you waiting for? My class on MasterClass is one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’m sure every other instructor would agree! Go to http://masterclass.com/lovers Get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership  Follow Mark Manson → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson/→ Listen to Mark’s podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/solved-with-mark-manson/id1247526593→ Sign up for Purpose and experience Love Maps: https://purpose.app/ Follow Lauren Morrison → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-laurenWant more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Evvy for sponsoring today’s video! Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp and use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 to get 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with actor DeWanda Wise to talk about what makes her marriage to actor Alano Miller genuinely healthy, not perfect, not performative, but well-matched. DeWanda and Alano have been married since 2009 after dating for only three months. Now more than 15 years in, they frequently appear together at industry events and continue to build a partnership rooted in intentionality rather than assumption. Alano Miller, known for his roles in Underground and Jane the Virgin, shares a dynamic with DeWanda that is grounded in accountability and mutual respect. One of the most impactful amendments in their marriage came from Christian counseling: don’t treat strangers better than you treat me. They hold each other accountable to extend the same kindness, patience, and curiosity at home that they offer the outside world. When one of them falls short, the response is not immediate condemnation but curiosity and course correction. We explore the delicate balance between accepting your partner and enabling harmful patterns, and what it truly means to be well-suited to love someone as they are. DeWanda challenges the idea that being “too much” is always a flaw, suggesting instead that compatibility determines whether intensity feels overwhelming or perfectly matched. We also draw parallels to parenting, where the tension between letting someone be themselves and shaping them into who we think they should become is ever-present. This conversation ultimately centers on discernment, kindness, and the courage to build a relationship where both partners feel deeply seen and responsibly loved. This episode also features a clip of my upcoming interview with legendary relationship therapists John and Julie Gottman! You can preview this episode inside the LOVERS community only Thanks to our sponsor of this episode Evvy Find out what’s happening with your vaginal health so you can build a care guide based on knowledge vs guess work!Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). Follow DeWanda Wise  → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dewandawise/→ Keep up with her movies and TV appearances: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1986622/Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, Melyssa Ford joins me for a conversation about desirability, partnership, and what it means to build a full life without centering it around finding “the one.” Melyssa has been publicly desired for decades. She’s dated wealthy men, high-profile men, and men who could provide an extraordinary lifestyle. And yet, she’s never been married and doesn’t have children. In this conversation, she reflects on what that actually means, not from a place of regret, but from a place of honesty. What happens when you are wanted by many but not chosen in the way you hoped? What if partnership never materializes the way you imagined it would? We also discuss something I call Bething, the tension between becoming the person you are meant to be and chasing the life you thought you were supposed to have. Bething is about allowing yourself to exist fully in the present version of your life, even if it doesn’t match the cultural script you were handed. It’s the practice of building something meaningful instead of waiting for someone to complete it. This episode is not about giving up on love. It’s about living well whether love arrives in the way you expected or not. It’s about separating desirability from devotion, lifestyle from longevity, and fantasy from fulfillment. If you’ve ever quietly wondered what happens if you never meet your person, this conversation is for you. Follow Melyssa Ford → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melyssaford→ Watch Hot & Bothered with Melyssa Ford (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgI18pIo71rZWq6upn_QxMgListen to Hot & Bothered Podcast: available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & all major platforms→ Get her book Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself: 13 Lessons for a Life Well Lived: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58631608-allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=n6x35X4UoC&rank=1Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this video. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off!—-----------------------  In this episode of Lovers, I share something personal: the ways my own social media habit began affecting my presence, my focus, and ultimately my intimacy. Jared joins the conversation to reflect on the intervention he had with me when he realized my relationship with my phone wasn’t just a habit, it was beginning to shape our connection. Then we’re joined by psychiatrist and Dopamine Nation author Dr. Anna Lembke, who explains why addiction today looks different than it did even a generation ago. We live in a world where high-dopamine substances and behaviors, from alcohol and porn to social media, smut, gaming, and endless scrolling, are instantly accessible and socially normalized. Dr. Lembke breaks down how these habits rewire the brain’s reward system, dull pleasure, increase craving, and quietly erode intimacy. We talk about porn addiction, phone addiction, alcoholism, erotic content consumption, and the broader crisis of overconsumption that defines modern life. Most importantly, Dr. Lembke offers practical tools, many of which she teaches in her class on MasterClass and outlines in Dopamine Nation, to help us reset our dopamine systems and reclaim our relationships. This isn’t just an episode about addiction. It’s about presence, connection, and what it takes to love well in the most addictive era in human history. To Watch Dopamine on MasterClass go to http://masterclass.com/lovers (this link will get you 15% off an annual plan to watch over 200 classes there including mine)Follow Dr. Anna Lembke Dr. Anna Lembke is a Stanford psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author specializing in addiction, dopamine science, and behavioral health. Official Website → https://www.annalembke.com Bestselling Book → Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/?ean=9781524746728  Stanford Profile → https://med.stanford.edu/profiles/Anna_Lembke Watch her class on MasterClass → http://masterclass.com/lovers  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers.________________________ In this episode of Lovers, Jerrie Johnson (NAACP-nominated actor best known for role on Harlem) and Dria Brown (the creative doula) share the story of how they fell hard, broke up, and then made a conscious decision to rebuild their relationship differently the second time. The first time around, their connection was intense, passionate, and undeniable. But intensity alone wasn’t enough. Before getting back together, they chose to start over as friends, and in doing so, they realized something uncomfortable: they weren’t actually as strong of friends the first time as they thought. This conversation explores what it truly means to be friends with your romantic partner, why passion can mask incompatibility, and why many couples confuse chemistry for foundation. If you’ve ever considered getting back together with an ex, or if you believe you’re “best friends” with your partner, this episode will challenge you to define what that actually means. Because sometimes spinning the block only works when something fundamental changes. Are you and your lover really friends? Try this relationship check in to find outhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/relationship-checkinNAACP - Vote for Jerrie's nominationhttps://vote.naacpimageawards.net/categories/8f53f295-6f7a-42f1-a40f-08de2c5a3e90/entrants Follow Jerrie JohnsonInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/jerriejohnson/ TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@jerriejohnsonOfficial Website → https://www.jerriejohnson.comSubstack → JerrieJohnson.substack.com Follow Dria BrownInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/driabrown/Official Website → https://www.thecreativedoulastudio.com/  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, Abby De La Rosa returns three years after our first conversation to reflect on what time, motherhood, and public scrutiny have actually taught her. When Abby first joined the show, she was pregnant and navigating intense speculation about her relationship with Nick Cannon, who now has 12 children with multiple partners. That episode sparked massive conversation and debate about alternative relationship structures, belief, and who society decides to trust. Now, years later, Abby comes back with clarity, boundaries, and lived experience. In this follow-up conversation, Abby opens up about what it’s been like raising children within a highly publicized family dynamic, how her understanding of love and partnership has evolved, and why she remains grounded in her choices despite ongoing judgment. She addresses the assumptions people make about women in nontraditional relationships, what outsiders often get wrong about consent and agency, and how motherhood reshaped her sense of self. This episode isn’t about defending a headline or convincing anyone of a particular relationship model. It’s about autonomy, growth, and what happens when a woman is given time to live inside the decisions she once had to justify. If you’ve ever wondered what comes after the internet forms an opinion, this conversation answers that. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to tonal.com and use promo code LOVERS. — Thank you to Evvy for sponsoring today’s episode! Check out Evvy here: https://evvy.yt.link/SVTTsvO and use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, therapist Kier Gaines shares a personal and professional reflection on how resentment builds when men are taught to silence their emotional truth. Kier opens up about a pivotal moment in his own relationship, when he realized that his partner’s tone was hurting his feelings, and that his fear of naming it, out of concern that he would sound “effeminate” or not man enough, was quietly turning into resentment. What started as self-protection slowly became emotional distance, until he reached a breaking point where honesty felt less risky than staying silent. Together, we unpack how masculinity norms shape emotional expression, why unspoken hurt often masquerades as resentment, and how learning to articulate emotional impact can transform intimacy rather than threaten it. This conversation explores the cost of swallowing feelings, the courage it takes to speak before resentment hardens, and what becomes possible when men allow themselves to be emotionally legible in their relationships. This episode isn’t about blame or tone-policing. It’s about emotional responsibility, relational repair, and the freedom that comes from finally saying the thing you were afraid would make you sound weak.  If you wished this episode is longer and you could hear more about Kier Gaines   Is My Relationship Healthy Quizhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-relationship-check-in  Follow Kier GainesInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines  TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@kiergaines  Twitter/X → https://twitter.com/kiergaines  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@KierandNoemie  Official Website → https://www.kiergaines.com  Course Words That Connect → https://kier-gaines.mykajabi.com/wordsthatconnect Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, Higher Learning host and former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay shares the deeply personal story of what it was like to experience intimacy both sexually and emotionally for the first time after divorce. After nearly a decade of being with only one partner, that she met while being the Bachelorette, Rachel walks us through the fears, emotions, and expectations she carried into that moment, from questions of safety and vulnerability to the quiet pressure of “doing it right” after such a long chapter had closed. She reflects on what that experience taught her about trust, desire, and emotional presence, and how those lessons reshaped her understanding of intimacy moving forward. Though she isn’t with the person from that first post-divorce experience, Rachel shares why she remains grateful for what it revealed about her needs, her boundaries, and her capacity for connection. She also opens up about how those insights are influencing the relationship she’s in today, offering a grounded, honest look at what intimacy can become after loss, change, and reinvention. This conversation isn’t about sex for shock value. It’s about safety, growth, and learning how to meet yourself again after everything you thought you knew about love has shifted. ———Follow Rachel LindsayInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning  Podcast — Higher Learning with Van Lathan & Rachel Lindsay → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489  Official Website → https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/  Rachel’s Book — Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, And A Few Hard Truths → https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&rank=1  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship. Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HEREhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship. If your first reaction to “open relationship” is “so… cheating?” you’re not alone, and this conversation is also for you. Cheating isn’t about a specific behavior, it’s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it’s important to clearly define YOUR rules together.  This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn’t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts. This isn’t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It’s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label. MasterClassHave you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers. Follow JaredInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbradyYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.Follow TouréWebsite → https://toure.com Toure Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.comPodcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify) Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Did you know, in 2023, more than 39,000 people were diagnosed with HIV in the United States and six territories, with Hispanic and Black individuals each accounting for more than a third (Source. CDC)In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with Jonathan Van Ness for a conversation about receiving an HIV diagnosis, the years he kept it private, and the moment he decided he wanted the story to come from him. Jonathan shares what it felt like to catch himself holding back during interviews, how choosing to speak changed his relationship with his own truth, and the sense of relief that followed once he stopped protecting something that shaped so much of his life.They also talk about the realities of HIV today, why knowing your status matters, and how tools like PrEP fit into the larger picture of staying informed and reducing stigma.Follow Jonathan Van NessWebsite → https://jonathanvanness.com/Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jvnYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/jvnJVN Hair → https://jvnhair.com/Podcast → https://jonathanvanness.com/podcasts/Books → https://jonathanvanness.com/books/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RYU, our little munchkin just turned FIVE!And while Thanksgiving week is here, Jared and I felt like it was the perfect moment to sit together and talk about being parents. Somewhere between the sleepless nights, tiny victories, meltdown moments, and unexpected laughter, Ryu taught us something surprising: sometimes, love is giving someone your dirty socks.(It’s her quote, and honestly… she’s not wrong.)Together, we explore:✨ How becoming parents reshapes the way you love and the way you’re loved✨ The unexpected emotional cost and reward of raising strong-willed children✨ A reflection on why we are the way we areA conversation for anyone navigating love, partnership, and the wild joy of raising tiny humans.—⭐ Follow JaredInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=enMusic MondayYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA⭐ Want more Lovers?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with singer and songwriter Sabrina Claudio for a conversation about heartbreak, loneliness, friendship, and the lessons that shaped her new album.Sabrina talks openly about how loneliness can quietly influence decisions, including staying in relationships that feel draining. She shares what it was like to feel isolated even while partnered, why she struggled to speak up about what she was going through, and how she eventually chose to walk away. We also explore the idea of emotional detox, the feeling of carrying someone long after the relationship ends, and the moment she realized she needed to release what was weighing her down.If you have ever tried to heal while still holding on, or wondered why connection sometimes feels complicated, this conversation offers insight and companionship.Referenced in this episode: Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory — the idea that our development is shaped by multiple layers of environment (from family + friends all the way to culture + society).Follow Sabrina ClaudioSabrina’s short film Fall In Love With HerInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/sabrinaclaudioTwitter → https://twitter.com/sabrinaclaudioYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/c/SabrinaClaudioWebsite → https://www.sabrinaclaudio.coWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this intimate London-based episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with the legendary storyteller and pleasure educator Seema Anand, the woman who transformed shame into sacred power.From being judged and silenced for her fascination with the Kama Sutra to becoming its most celebrated modern interpreter, Seema shares how self-love became her act of rebellion. Together, we talk about:✨ Growing up rebelling against libertine attitudes and then discovering Tantra✨ The link between shame, sensuality, and self-expression✨ Why women still feel guilt for wanting pleasure✨ The truth behind the Kama Sutra’s ancient wisdom✨ How to fall in love with yourself — unapologetically in your sixties or at any ageThis episode was inspired by our collaboration jewelry line KAMA, created to remind women to prioritize pleasure — in bed and beyond. Each piece is designed to honor the art of connection and confidence. In collaboration with Surmeyi, our Käma collection celebrates women’s bodies as inseparable from nature, and pleasure as the invisible force balancing the universe. Get your jewelry today:💎 The entire KAMA jewelry line is now back in stock for the holidays. Shop the collection: https://surmeyi.com/kamaAlso Seema’s brand new book Speak Easy is now available for preorderhttps://www.amazon.in/Speak-Easy-Field-Longing-Intimacy/dp/9361319337Interested in getting expert help spicing up your intimate life? Learn more about Arya, the couples subscription service that helps you make breaking the routine your new and exciting routine. Everyone is a lil kinky, and we all need help discovering ours - let Arya do all the hard work so you can focus on the fun part.http://arya.fyi/shanWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Ro for sponsoring this video. Connect with a provider at https://ro.co/lovers to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you.In collaboration with Seema Anand and Surmeyi, our Käma collection celebrates women’s bodies as inseparable from nature, and pleasure as the invisible force balancing the universe. Get your jewelry today:https://surmeyi.com/collections/kama -----Sacred, spicy, and still timeless — we had to bring this one back.Shan sat down with artist Tanerélle to dive deep into the world of sacred sexuality and conscious intimacy.Sacred sexuality is more than physical pleasure; it’s an intentional way of connecting through energy, presence, and deep emotional awareness. From gentle touch and stillness to moments of shared breath and meditation, it invites a kind of connection that transcends the body and opens the heart.This mindful practice can lead to profound release, heightened pleasure, and a fuller experience of intimacy, from multiple or non-ejaculatory orgasms for men to expansive, layered sensations for women.Plus, Brenden Durell joins to guide a special class in the LOVERS community. We go over sacred sexuality and breathwork, a transformative session on presence, connection, and embodied pleasure.Follow Taneréllehttps://www.instagram.com/tanerelle/ Follow BrendenInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/brendendurell/Website: https://brendendurell.com/ Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Calm your mind. Change your life. Try Calm by heading to https://calm.yt.link/2lLJh1b. ————————This week, Shan sits down with Grammy-winning artist Chrisette Michele opens up about being diagnosed with autism as an adult and the way that revelation helped her understand her rhythm, her relationships and what safety really means for her. She shares how music became one of the few places that always made sense, how her mom stood by her through the unknown, and how she finally began to remove the mask and meet herself.Later, we bring in expert Maria Davis-Pierre, LMHC, founder of Autism in Black, Inc., to guide a deeper conversation around autism, neurodivergence, intimacy, and how we show up for those we love.Whether you’re neurodivergent, in a relationship with someone who is, or simply want to deepen your understanding, this episode invites you to explore how love, safety, and authenticity coexist.Follow Chrisette Michele:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisettemichele/ Website:chrisettemichele.comFollow Maria Davis-Pierre & Autism in Black:Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/autisminblack/ Website: https://www.autisminblack.org/Sign up for the 5th Annual Autism In Black ConferenceVirtual or In-Person Attendance: https://funnel.autisminblack.org/2025-autism-in-black-registration-page?aff=Christina-SchmidtWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Function Health for sponsoring this video! Visit https://functionhealth.yt.link/Eug9eKx or use code LOVERS100 at sign-up to own your health. The first 1000 get a $100 credit toward their membership.————————In her mid-30s, Chy Fontenette from Behind the Likes podcast finds herself facing what feels like a full-life reset: a breakup she didn’t choose, friendships shifting as she starts setting boundaries, and a growing awareness of the pain she’s carried for years. Through tears, honesty, and reflection, Chy admits she doesn’t know what’s next, and Shan reminds her that she’s doing the most important thing of all: staying with herself through it.This episode is for anyone in that place where everything hurts and nothing feels certain. Shan offers tangible guidance on how to move through the fog, from becoming an archaeologist of your own life (digging up the moments you felt love and success before) to remembering Steve Jobs’ wisdom that you can’t connect the dots looking forward, only backward.The message is simple: you can’t rush this part. But if you keep caring for yourself, one day you’ll look up and realize, your life doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.Follow Chy Fontenette! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chy.f/Listen to her podcast “Behind the Likes”: https://www.behindthelikespodcast.com/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are relationships supposed to be THIS Hard?This week on LOVERS, Shan sits down with Glen and Yvette Henry, the couple behind the viral family brand Beleaf in Fatherhood.Glen, known as Beleaf, has a new book coming out titled Father Yourself First, which challenges men to approach fatherhood as a path of healing, self-awareness, and personal accountability.In this conversation, Glen and Yvette open up about how hard marriage can be, especially after kids, success, and faith transitions. From getting married young to raising four children and growing a public platform together, they’ve faced nearly every challenge that tests a couple’s foundation.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is marriage supposed to be this hard?”, this episode is for you. It’s a raw and honest reminder that struggle doesn’t mean failure, it means growth.✨ Preorder Glen’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555 📺 Watch their YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@BeleafInFatherhood 🎧 Listen to their podcast “How Married Are You” https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/ Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trigger Warning: This conversation includes a deeply personal story shared by André Holland, including a moment when someone he had affections for used a racial slur toward him. Listener discretion is advised.What happens when a core memory rewrites the story of how we see ourselves in love? In this week’s LOVERS episode, Shan sits down with actor André Holland to explore the pivotal memory that shaped his belief that he was never “good enough” as himself—and that he had to become someone “better” to be loved.They unpack how these deeply rooted emotional imprints steer our relationships—sometimes helping us, but often holding us back. André’s story reveals how early wounds can guide not just who we choose, but how we let love in.Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode is a powerful guide to: uncovering the underlying stories behind your intimacy rewriting beliefs that no longer serve you opening the door to deeper, more authentic connection 🎬 About Love, BrooklynWant more from André Holland? Be sure to check out his new film, Love, Brooklyn now playing in theaters. It will be available for streaming too! Stay up-to-date and follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovebrooklynmovie/For more on André be sure to follow him on Instagram: http://instagram.com/andrehollandWant more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To get 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp, visit http://betterhelp.com/loversbyshan. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode!—This week, I interview Lilly Singh, actor and history-making content creator, with a new movie RIGHT up our alley: Doin’ It (yes it’s a movie about sex, specifically what happens when a South Asian virgin is assigned to teach sex ed). In this episode Lilly opens up about growing up in a world where emotional chaos felt familiar, why she kept gravitating toward toxic partners who gave her the bare minimum, and how she’s now doing the inner work (therapy, inner child healing, setting boundaries) to protect “little Lilly.”In this conversation, we explore how past wounds shaped her romantic choices, and how she’s rewriting that story one day at a time.🎬 About Doin’ ItYou can catch “Doin’ It” in select theaters or pre-order the film on Apple, Amazon, and Fandango to watch it at home as of October 7.For more information visit doinitmovie.com 🔗 Follow Lilly Singh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lilly Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/LillyGrab her bestselling book Be a Triangle → https://www.lillysinghbook.comWant more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Ro for sponsoring this video. Connect with a provider at https://ro.co/lovers to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you.-----What happens when you realize the best sex of your marriage only shows up on vacation?Award-winning journalist, author, and podcaster Jemele Hill joins Shan for a conversation about how she uncovered the connection between stress, rest, and desire in her own marriage. She shares why her husband seems to get luckier when they’re away, how that awareness has deepened their relationship, and what it taught her about the balance between ambition, partnership, and intimacy.This episode is for my overachievers who struggle to “do it all,” for the happily partnered (or hoping-to-be), and for anyone who’s ever wondered how to bring that vacation spark back home.Together, Jemele and Shan break down:- Why “having it all” is a myth (and the price women pay for chasing it)- How silence around stress robs intimacy, and what to do instead- What “fair trade” in the home has to do with mutually desirable sex- Practical ways to bring vacation sex energy into everyday life🔗 Follow Jemele HillInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jemelehill/Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/jemelehillWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Function Health for sponsoring this episode! Visit https://functionhealth.com/loversbyshan or use code LOVERS100 at sign-up to own your health. The first 1000 get a $100 credit toward their membership.-----What does it mean to choose love on your own terms? How do our values, self-worth, and cultural expectations shape the way we show up in relationships?In this conversation, entrepreneur, fitness model, and actress Rosa Acosta shares her perspective on redefining what relationships can look like when you step away from society’s scripts. She reflects on leaving behind relationships that don’t serve both partners, questioning inherited scripts about men and women, and what it takes to create intimacy outside of convention.This is a dialogue about love as partnership, the courage to release what no longer fits, and the art of rewriting our own story.🔗 Follow Rosa AcostaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosaacosta/Cossa Mia: https://www.instagram.com/cossamia/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Watch what happens when you ask for a performance review in your relationship. Do the hard and awkward questions lead to more intimacy or new resentments? In this week’s episode of Lovers, Shan sits down with her husband, Jared Brady, for their quarterly relationship check-in — on camera. Together, they ask the tough but necessary questions: Am I still who you want? Are you becoming who I need?This raw and real conversation reveals how couples can stay aligned, navigate change, and keep intimacy thriving over time. Plus, Shan and Jared share a free Relationship Check-In Guide so you and your partner can try this practice at home.Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode is a roadmap for honest communication, vulnerability, and keeping love strong.The full conversation of Jared and I lives in my community in the premium tier. Resource - Interactive Guide https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/relationship-checkin 🔗 Follow Jared BradyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=en https://www.youtube.com/@MusicMondayEnjoyWant more Lover?Check out Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Check out free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it mean to be ready for motherhood? How do love, faith, and our relationship with our maternal figures shape our parenting?In this honest and grounded conversation, educator, author, and activist Blair Imani shares her perspective on family planning, pregnancy loss, and the role of sexual education in real life. She opens up about having conversations with her partner around abortion as part of sexual health, and how her conversion to Islam continues to guide her through questions of timing, family, and faith.We also dive into Blair’s relationship with her mom, and how that connection influences her hopes for becoming a parent herself. It’s a conversation about the choices we face when planning for a baby, the loss and love that come with it, and the bigger role faith, values, and family play in planning our future. 🔗 Follow BlairInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/blairimaniTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blairimaniYouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@blairimaniWebsite: https://www.blairimani.com/ Want more Lover?Check out Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheck out free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What holds a relationship together when life falls apart? Most of us picture the happiest moments when we think about our partner, but what happens when tragedy hits? In this intimate conversation, Dr. Laura Berman shares how she and her husband weathered some of life’s hardest storms together. From dating him while she was caring for her young son with cancer, to the unimaginable loss of their son Sammy during the pandemic, Laura takes us inside the moments that tested their love, and the choices that kept them connected.Days after the death of their first child together, Sam pulled Laura close and said, “Most couples don’t get through tragedies like this, but we will.” It’s a reminder that the strength of a relationship isn’t just built in joy, it’s forged in the fire of what you survive together.Want more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter________________________Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Lovers, Shan sits down with The Pink Parley, a sex worker pulling back the curtain on what men secretly crave but rarely admit—even to their wives. With 98% of her clients being married men who have no desire to leave their marriages, Parley reveals the surprising request that keeps them coming back: ass worship.Yes, you read that right. These men don’t just want to “eat the groceries”—they want to be consumed by, suffocated by, and utterly surrounded by the booty. For them, it’s not just an act of pleasure; it’s a full-body, sensory experience.Together, Shan and Parley unpack what this hidden desire tells us about:- The gap between fantasy and communication in long-term relationships- The role of body positivity in sexual confidence and desire- How unspoken cravings can complicate fidelity inside marriageThis episode is provocative, eye-opening, and an important reminder that what we don’t say in the bedroom can be just as impactful as what we do.🔗 Follow The Pink ParleyWebsite: https://thepinkparley.com/Instagram: http://instagram.com/thepinkparleyWant more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter________________________Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it really mean to build a relationship outside the rules you were taught? Is it still polyamory if only one person has other lovers? And most importantly, what happens when that dynamic actually works for you?In this honest and eye-opening conversation, multi-disciplinary entertainer, author, and founder of Movement Genius, Alyson Stoner, shares their experience in their polyamorous journey. We dive into the importance of knowing your own capacity for connection, and Alyson’s go-to communication tool: Frequency, Duration, and Intensity. It’s a simple yet powerful way to check in about how often you connect, for how long, and with what level of emotional depth.Even if you’re monogamous, this framework can change the way you relate, helping you set boundaries, stay aligned, and make sure your relationships feel balanced and intentional. Whether you’re curious about polyamory or simply want tools for building healthier, more intentional partnerships, this episode will leave you thinking about love in a whole new way.🔗 Follow AlysonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/alysonstonerTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alysonstonerYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alysonstoner📚 Preorder Alyson’s new book Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything (Out August 12, 2025) → https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/semi-well-adjusted-9781250353498/ 🧠 Learn more about Movement Genius → https://www.movementgenius.com/Want more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with just you?In this bold and expansive episode, Shan dives into The Eartha Kitt Effect—a cultural and emotional awakening inspired by the legendary performer Eartha Kitt, whose unapologetic views on love, compromise, and individuality continue to resonate decades later. This “effect” refers to the growing movement of people, especially women, who are choosing the single life on purpose, not by default.Joining Shan is Dr. Bella DePaulo, renowned social psychologist and author of Single at Heart, to unpack why some of the most fulfilled people are not in romantic relationships—and never want to be.Together, they explore: 🔥 Why Eartha Kitt’s viral interview moment ("Compromise? For what?") sparked a generation of self-partnership 🌱 How choosing not to center romance can lead to deeper personal growth, freedom, and connection 🧠 The science behind happiness in singlehood and the myth of the “incomplete” single person 💔 How media and social norms still stigmatize solo living—and what it looks like to rewrite your own happy ending Eartha’s now-iconic 1982 interview, where she laughs at the idea of compromising for a man, has become a symbol for self-honoring love. Her words echo across social media as more people step into identities that aren’t centered on romantic validation but on personal wholeness.Whether you're single by choice, rethinking long-term relationships, or simply seeking permission to define love your way—this episode is your affirmation.✨ The Eartha Kitt Effect is here so listen now and ask yourself: What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with you?🔗 Follow Bella DePaulo: Website: belladepaulo.com Books: Single at Heart, How We Live Now, and more – Amazon💞 Want more from Lover? → Meet Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you: loversbyshan.com → Get a free weekly Love Letter straight to your inbox: Join the newsletter → Join the Lovers Community: loversbyshan.com/community → Try free quizzes + worksheets: Deepen your relationships📩 For ads or inquiries: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Does making friends get harder as you get older? How the hell do I make friends? This episode is a rerun, and it's STILL very accurate. According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, many people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have.If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond. So, how long does it take to make a new friend?- 50 hours before you consider them a casual friend - 90 hours before becoming real friends - 200hours- before becoming close friends source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments.In this episode, I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia, and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs, and the work it takes to make them work. A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMF,T, and Danielle Bayard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert, for lending their expertise on forming friendships. Follow the guests on this episode:Follow Shan:https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram/http://tiktok.com/shanboody / @loversbyshan Follow Krista: https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/Follow Tabia:https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/Follow Danielle Bayard-Jacksonhttps://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFThttps://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=enhttps://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=enhttps://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the love story you were chasing… was never really yours?In this episode, actress Miranda Rae Mayo joins Shan to explore the journey of finding love by letting go of the fantasy. Known for her role on Chicago Fire, Miranda opens up about her current relationship and how she had to release the pressure to be “perfect” to experience a real connection.Together, they explore how love doesn’t always look the way we expected, and why exploring non-monogamy challenged (and expanded) her thoughts around love, security, and partnership.🔗 Follow MirandaMiranda https://www.instagram.com/mrmayoFollow her exclusive project https://www.instagram.com/hereshecomestv/ Want more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them?Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating dating anxiety, or looking to build confidence and emotional security in love, this episode will give you the tools to understand and honor your safety needs.In this powerful and deeply personal episode, dating coach Anwar White joins Shan to talk about what it means to date with emotional and relational safety at the center. Anwar shares his personal story of leaving an unsafe environment as a child alongside his mother, and how that shaped his deep understanding of safety, trust, and partnership. Now, as a coach helping Black and Brown women find aligned, lasting love, Anwar breaks down the realities of trauma-informed dating, co-regulation, and building standards rooted in self-worth.This conversation also explores the ways our early relationships model love for us, and how watching his mother now thrive in a healthy partnership has become part of Anwar’s full-circle healing and success story.🔗 Follow Anwarhttps://www.instagram.com/datingcoachanwarListen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PTRAwfi9ZPDF6h4BOWXvjCheckout his services https://getyourguycoaching.com/Want more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having casual sex. WeezyWTF expands on how sexual liberation goes hand in hand with how you approach and manifest casual sex. Mandii B & Binx open up about surviving sexual assault, and how that experience reshaped their relationships with men in their community. Follow Weezy: @weezywtfFollow Mandii B: @fullcourtpumpsTour Dates: https://nhbtour.com/Get their book: https://a.co/d/8VY8Tje Follow Binx: @the_binxFollow Vincent aka Hands of Furey: Learn more about him: http://www.handsoffurey.com/Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression?In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate.They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of pleasure or interest in things that once brought you joy, and how it shows up, especially for those living with high-functioning depression. Dr. Joseph expands on how joy is our birthright and how it connects to our biopsychosocial blueprint.Expect insights on:✨ How high-functioning depression operates✨ Why anhedonia is so often overlooked✨ The three-part psycho-socio-biological model that explains it✨ How to begin reconnecting with your desire and vitality👑 Follow Dr. Judith Joseph on Instagram: instagram.com/drjudithjoseph👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/communitySign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me loversbyshan.com/newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the key to better sex isn’t new, but rooted in ancestral knowledge?In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller, mythologist, and ancient erotica expert Seema Anand to explore the rich, and yes, deeply sexy, history of sexual liberation, and why it's never really been a modern idea.Together, they unpack what it means to reconnect with your desire through ancestry, ritual, and unapologetic self-expression. We talk sex positions (yes, the Kama Sutra makes an appearance), the role of storytelling in the bedroom, and how wearing your desire, literally, can be one of the boldest, most freeing things you do.This conversation even inspired a whole jewelry line. The Kama Collection is a tribute to sensuality, intention, and the art of not hiding your hunger.👑 Follow Seema Anand on Instagram: @seemaanandstorytelling🔥 Shop the Kama Collection: surmeyi.com/kamaThe waist chain designed for being on topThe anklet designed for when your legs are in the airThe necklace designed for yab yumThe earrings designed for ridingThe choker designed for lotus positionThe spine chain designed for doggystyle 👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do fuckboys… fuckboy? In this episode, we dig into the root of it.Just ahead of the release of his new single Permanent Vacation (dropping June 18), genre-bending artist Duckwrth joins Shan for a raw and revealing conversation on why some men detach, ghost, and repeat the cycle. Together, they unpack how fear of commitment, cultural conditioning, and childhood wounds can all contribute to the “Certified Loverboy” identity.Duckwrth opens up about his own evolution—from polyamory and emotional avoidance to developing a deeper sense of self-awareness and desire for real connection.If you’ve ever dated a fuckboy, been affected by one, or are reflecting on your own relationship patterns, this one’s for you.🎧 Watch the video for Permanent Vacation 💫 Follow Duckwrth on Instagram: @duckwrth 👥 Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever wondered where your libido went? In this episode we do a deep dive on sexual slumps, low libido and lack of sexual desire that is frustrating (lack of desire that is not frustrating is not a problem!). We get to have this conversation first from the lens of Emmy-winning journalist Tamsen Fadal whose journey with low libido started in perimenopause and peaked on her honeymoon! From hot flashes and brain fog in the newsroom to bedroom low sex drive, Tamsen has become treasured for pulling back the curtain on midlife like never before. In this honest and empowering episode, menopause advocate Tamsen joins Shan for a conversation about menopause, sex drive and embracing life’s shifts.Tamsen shares how a one-word note from her doctor "menopause...?" set off a journey she wasn’t prepared for, and how that diagnosis impacted her body, her identity, and her intimacy. From tough talks with her husband to the quiet shame so many women carry through midlife transitions, Tamsen reminds us that getting older isn’t the end of our sensual selves, it can actually be the beginning.In part two of this episode we are giving you a MasterClass on low libido led by three doctors: OBGYN Dr. Mickey, lifestyle medical physician Dr Lean AND Pelvic Floor expert Dr. Janelle Frederick aka the Vagina Rehab Doctor.This is a highlight of our hour and fifteen convo if you’d like to listen to the rest go toLoversbyshan.com/community Follow Tamsen on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/tamsenfadalGet her book How to MenopauseListen to her podcast The Tamsen ShowCheckout her website https://www.tamsenfadal.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From fatphobia to racism to ageism and ableism, Kennedy challenges the norms around love, desirability, and who gets to be the “main character.” This one’s for anyone who's ever felt left out of the story — and is ready to take the pen back.Bestselling romance author Kennedy Ryan (Before I Let Go, Reel) sits down with Shan to talk about what happens when women stop shrinking themselves to be chosen. From rewriting the stories we’ve inherited about sex, love, and partnership — to questioning why women with standards get labeled as “too much”Kennedy opens up about what radical self-worth actually looks like, and why romance should always center women’s pleasure. This episode is a love letter to anyone who’s ever been made to feel like they’re asking for too much. Kennedy shares her love story of being married to Sam for over 20 years while raising their autistic son. This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today:https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityFollow Kennedy on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/kennedyryan1Get her latest book https://kennedyryanwrites.com/Get a weekly love letter from me:https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What kind of stories do we pass down through the way we love?Actor and mom Xosha Roquemore sits down with Shan to talk about sex, self-worth, and how becoming a mother shifted everything. It starts with one question she asked that stopped us both: “Have the kind of sex you’d be proud to tell your daughter about.”We talk about the early messages she got about sex, how sexual coercion showed up in her past, and why that experience still needs more language. She shares a fun one-night stand story and how even casual sex can feel good when it comes from choice, not pressure.Xosha also talks about single motherhood, not as a hardship, but as a privilege. Being a mom has made her sharper, clearer, and way more intentional about who gets access to her.This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today!https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityFollow Xosha on socialshttps://www.instagram.com/xoshro/Get a Weekly Lovers Letter from Mehttps://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Reclaiming Intimacy: Jessie Woo’s Journey Beyond Trauma. Comedian and media personality Jessie Woo joins Shan for a powerful conversation about healing, love, and rediscovering sexual joy after surviving sexual assault. Jessie shares her painful story of her assault and her joyful story of her relationship with Jay Allen aka Mr Easter.Now Jessie is on the path to reclaiming pleasure and building healthy relationships, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on their own journey of recovery. This episode explores the complexities of intimacy after trauma, the importance of self-love, and why your story doesn’t end with someone else’s actions.At the end of the episode, trauma expert Jimanekia Eborn joins us to discuss why sexual assault is a community issue plus she give her hot take on the Diddy trial and some people’s harmful comments about Cassie. How do you reclaim love and pleasure after trauma? How do you support survivors in your life?We discuss these questions PLUS we have a free resource for sexual assault survivors and those navigating grief called The Grief Registry.Content Warning:This episode discusses sexual assault and trauma. Listener discretion is advised.If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault, resources and support are available. Visit RAINN.org or call 800-656-HOPE.Thank You Jessie Woohttps://www.instagram.com/thejessiewoo/Jess a Couple Things Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmu_OLDekKoPr-TgAY8lYIgGet a Weekly Lovers Letter from Mehttps://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletterLovers CommunityIf you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:https://www.loversbyshan.com/communitySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nothing good lasts. Right? In this deeply moving episode, Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara joins Shan Boodram to explore the connection between intimacy, loss, and the fear of death (thanatophobia). Inspired by her song "Subside" from Love and Hyperbole, Alessia opens up about her personal journey with grief and how it shapes the way she loves and creates. Together, they dive into universal questions: How do we hold on to love while letting go of control? How does the fear of loss impact our relationships, intimacy, and even our everyday choices?Esther Perel talks about how desire and loss can sit right next to each other. This made me think about how those ideas show up in everyday relationships: the death of connection, the slow fading of intimacy, or the fear that something we’ve built might not last.When you zoom out, so much of how we attach, how we love, and even how we have sex is shaped by that deeper fear, what happens if I lose this? Or if I lose you? Or if I lose me in this?Thank You Alessia Carahttp://alessiacara.comhttps://www.instagram.com/alessiasmusichttps://www.youtube.com/@alessiacaraThanks Dame for sponsoring this episode:Dame makes products designed to enhance intimacy and connection—whether you’re with a partner or flying solo. http://dame.com/shanDame Coupon: SHAN15Join My Mailing Listhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletterLovers CommunityIf you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:https://www.loversbyshan.com/community See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this week’s episode, I sit down with Raven-Symoné and her wife Miranda Pearman-Maday for a refreshingly honest conversation about love and what it really takes to sustain a modern relationship. They share why they chose a sleep divorce, and how sleeping separately has deepened their emotional bond, sharpened their communication, and brought them even closer.This episode is a masterclass in emotional maturity and intentional partnership, an invitation to rethink what a healthy marriage can look like in a monogamix relationship. Thank You Raven & Mirandainstagram.com/ravensymoneinstagram.com/mirandamadayCatch them on Tea Time with Raven & Miranda, a candid, cozy space where they spill everything from relationship realness to spiritual insights. Streaming now on YouTube.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.