LOVERS by shan

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off!  Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers.  — In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids? Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you. Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right. What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore? We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish. This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not. If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you. EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCENeed help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive  Follow Lisa Bilyeu → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you. Resources mentioned→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit → A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18  Follow Aida Mariam Davis→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/ → Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj   Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at http://masterclass.com/lovers  ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Mark Manson, the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope, and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, to talk about what men actually think about before they propose, and why waiting doesn’t mean what you think it means.Mark shares the story of how he “agonized” over proposing to his now wife of ten years. Despite being deeply in love, he struggled with doubt, timing, and the pressure to feel completely certain. The turning point came during a conversation with his stepmother, who told him she had been married for over thirty years and still couldn’t say with absolute certainty that she “knew” he was the one. That advice freed him from the illusion that certainty is required before commitment.We also unpack my own proposal story with Jared, including the untold truth about the pressure I put on him to propose and what was actually happening behind the scenes. The story I shared online isn’t the full story, and in this episode, we fill in the missing pieces.Lauren Morrison, my sister and the author of Be in the Room, joins as guest host. As a longtime fan of Mark Manson, she helps us dig into the myth of the two-year rule, the idea that if a man hasn’t proposed by a certain timeline, you must not be “the one,” and the false belief that real love comes with instant certainty.This conversation challenges the cultural narrative that a proposal delay reflects doubt about your worth. Instead, it reveals how doubt is often part of the process, not a sign that something is wrong.If you’ve ever wondered what’s taking so long, this episode is for you. Get MasterClass Today For real, what are you waiting for? My class on MasterClass is one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’m sure every other instructor would agree! Go to http://masterclass.com/lovers Get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership  Follow Mark Manson → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson/→ Listen to Mark’s podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/solved-with-mark-manson/id1247526593→ Sign up for Purpose and experience Love Maps: https://purpose.app/ Follow Lauren Morrison → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-laurenWant more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Evvy for sponsoring today’s video! Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp and use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 to get 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with actor DeWanda Wise to talk about what makes her marriage to actor Alano Miller genuinely healthy, not perfect, not performative, but well-matched. DeWanda and Alano have been married since 2009 after dating for only three months. Now more than 15 years in, they frequently appear together at industry events and continue to build a partnership rooted in intentionality rather than assumption. Alano Miller, known for his roles in Underground and Jane the Virgin, shares a dynamic with DeWanda that is grounded in accountability and mutual respect. One of the most impactful amendments in their marriage came from Christian counseling: don’t treat strangers better than you treat me. They hold each other accountable to extend the same kindness, patience, and curiosity at home that they offer the outside world. When one of them falls short, the response is not immediate condemnation but curiosity and course correction. We explore the delicate balance between accepting your partner and enabling harmful patterns, and what it truly means to be well-suited to love someone as they are. DeWanda challenges the idea that being “too much” is always a flaw, suggesting instead that compatibility determines whether intensity feels overwhelming or perfectly matched. We also draw parallels to parenting, where the tension between letting someone be themselves and shaping them into who we think they should become is ever-present. This conversation ultimately centers on discernment, kindness, and the courage to build a relationship where both partners feel deeply seen and responsibly loved. This episode also features a clip of my upcoming interview with legendary relationship therapists John and Julie Gottman! You can preview this episode inside the LOVERS community only Thanks to our sponsor of this episode Evvy Find out what’s happening with your vaginal health so you can build a care guide based on knowledge vs guess work!Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). Follow DeWanda Wise  → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dewandawise/→ Keep up with her movies and TV appearances: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1986622/Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, Melyssa Ford joins me for a conversation about desirability, partnership, and what it means to build a full life without centering it around finding “the one.” Melyssa has been publicly desired for decades. She’s dated wealthy men, high-profile men, and men who could provide an extraordinary lifestyle. And yet, she’s never been married and doesn’t have children. In this conversation, she reflects on what that actually means, not from a place of regret, but from a place of honesty. What happens when you are wanted by many but not chosen in the way you hoped? What if partnership never materializes the way you imagined it would? We also discuss something I call Bething, the tension between becoming the person you are meant to be and chasing the life you thought you were supposed to have. Bething is about allowing yourself to exist fully in the present version of your life, even if it doesn’t match the cultural script you were handed. It’s the practice of building something meaningful instead of waiting for someone to complete it. This episode is not about giving up on love. It’s about living well whether love arrives in the way you expected or not. It’s about separating desirability from devotion, lifestyle from longevity, and fantasy from fulfillment. If you’ve ever quietly wondered what happens if you never meet your person, this conversation is for you. Follow Melyssa Ford → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melyssaford→ Watch Hot & Bothered with Melyssa Ford (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgI18pIo71rZWq6upn_QxMgListen to Hot & Bothered Podcast: available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & all major platforms→ Get her book Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself: 13 Lessons for a Life Well Lived: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58631608-allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=n6x35X4UoC&rank=1Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this video. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off!—-----------------------  In this episode of Lovers, I share something personal: the ways my own social media habit began affecting my presence, my focus, and ultimately my intimacy. Jared joins the conversation to reflect on the intervention he had with me when he realized my relationship with my phone wasn’t just a habit, it was beginning to shape our connection. Then we’re joined by psychiatrist and Dopamine Nation author Dr. Anna Lembke, who explains why addiction today looks different than it did even a generation ago. We live in a world where high-dopamine substances and behaviors, from alcohol and porn to social media, smut, gaming, and endless scrolling, are instantly accessible and socially normalized. Dr. Lembke breaks down how these habits rewire the brain’s reward system, dull pleasure, increase craving, and quietly erode intimacy. We talk about porn addiction, phone addiction, alcoholism, erotic content consumption, and the broader crisis of overconsumption that defines modern life. Most importantly, Dr. Lembke offers practical tools, many of which she teaches in her class on MasterClass and outlines in Dopamine Nation, to help us reset our dopamine systems and reclaim our relationships. This isn’t just an episode about addiction. It’s about presence, connection, and what it takes to love well in the most addictive era in human history. To Watch Dopamine on MasterClass go to http://masterclass.com/lovers (this link will get you 15% off an annual plan to watch over 200 classes there including mine)Follow Dr. Anna Lembke Dr. Anna Lembke is a Stanford psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author specializing in addiction, dopamine science, and behavioral health. Official Website → https://www.annalembke.com Bestselling Book → Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/?ean=9781524746728  Stanford Profile → https://med.stanford.edu/profiles/Anna_Lembke Watch her class on MasterClass → http://masterclass.com/lovers  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers.________________________ In this episode of Lovers, Jerrie Johnson (NAACP-nominated actor best known for role on Harlem) and Dria Brown (the creative doula) share the story of how they fell hard, broke up, and then made a conscious decision to rebuild their relationship differently the second time. The first time around, their connection was intense, passionate, and undeniable. But intensity alone wasn’t enough. Before getting back together, they chose to start over as friends, and in doing so, they realized something uncomfortable: they weren’t actually as strong of friends the first time as they thought. This conversation explores what it truly means to be friends with your romantic partner, why passion can mask incompatibility, and why many couples confuse chemistry for foundation. If you’ve ever considered getting back together with an ex, or if you believe you’re “best friends” with your partner, this episode will challenge you to define what that actually means. Because sometimes spinning the block only works when something fundamental changes. Are you and your lover really friends? Try this relationship check in to find outhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/relationship-checkinNAACP - Vote for Jerrie's nominationhttps://vote.naacpimageawards.net/categories/8f53f295-6f7a-42f1-a40f-08de2c5a3e90/entrants Follow Jerrie JohnsonInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/jerriejohnson/ TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@jerriejohnsonOfficial Website → https://www.jerriejohnson.comSubstack → JerrieJohnson.substack.com Follow Dria BrownInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/driabrown/Official Website → https://www.thecreativedoulastudio.com/  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, Abby De La Rosa returns three years after our first conversation to reflect on what time, motherhood, and public scrutiny have actually taught her. When Abby first joined the show, she was pregnant and navigating intense speculation about her relationship with Nick Cannon, who now has 12 children with multiple partners. That episode sparked massive conversation and debate about alternative relationship structures, belief, and who society decides to trust. Now, years later, Abby comes back with clarity, boundaries, and lived experience. In this follow-up conversation, Abby opens up about what it’s been like raising children within a highly publicized family dynamic, how her understanding of love and partnership has evolved, and why she remains grounded in her choices despite ongoing judgment. She addresses the assumptions people make about women in nontraditional relationships, what outsiders often get wrong about consent and agency, and how motherhood reshaped her sense of self. This episode isn’t about defending a headline or convincing anyone of a particular relationship model. It’s about autonomy, growth, and what happens when a woman is given time to live inside the decisions she once had to justify. If you’ve ever wondered what comes after the internet forms an opinion, this conversation answers that. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to tonal.com and use promo code LOVERS. — Thank you to Evvy for sponsoring today’s episode! Check out Evvy here: https://evvy.yt.link/SVTTsvO and use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, therapist Kier Gaines shares a personal and professional reflection on how resentment builds when men are taught to silence their emotional truth. Kier opens up about a pivotal moment in his own relationship, when he realized that his partner’s tone was hurting his feelings, and that his fear of naming it, out of concern that he would sound “effeminate” or not man enough, was quietly turning into resentment. What started as self-protection slowly became emotional distance, until he reached a breaking point where honesty felt less risky than staying silent. Together, we unpack how masculinity norms shape emotional expression, why unspoken hurt often masquerades as resentment, and how learning to articulate emotional impact can transform intimacy rather than threaten it. This conversation explores the cost of swallowing feelings, the courage it takes to speak before resentment hardens, and what becomes possible when men allow themselves to be emotionally legible in their relationships. This episode isn’t about blame or tone-policing. It’s about emotional responsibility, relational repair, and the freedom that comes from finally saying the thing you were afraid would make you sound weak.  If you wished this episode is longer and you could hear more about Kier Gaines   Is My Relationship Healthy Quizhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-relationship-check-in  Follow Kier GainesInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines  TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@kiergaines  Twitter/X → https://twitter.com/kiergaines  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@KierandNoemie  Official Website → https://www.kiergaines.com  Course Words That Connect → https://kier-gaines.mykajabi.com/wordsthatconnect Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, Higher Learning host and former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay shares the deeply personal story of what it was like to experience intimacy both sexually and emotionally for the first time after divorce. After nearly a decade of being with only one partner, that she met while being the Bachelorette, Rachel walks us through the fears, emotions, and expectations she carried into that moment, from questions of safety and vulnerability to the quiet pressure of “doing it right” after such a long chapter had closed. She reflects on what that experience taught her about trust, desire, and emotional presence, and how those lessons reshaped her understanding of intimacy moving forward. Though she isn’t with the person from that first post-divorce experience, Rachel shares why she remains grateful for what it revealed about her needs, her boundaries, and her capacity for connection. She also opens up about how those insights are influencing the relationship she’s in today, offering a grounded, honest look at what intimacy can become after loss, change, and reinvention. This conversation isn’t about sex for shock value. It’s about safety, growth, and learning how to meet yourself again after everything you thought you knew about love has shifted. ———Follow Rachel LindsayInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning  Podcast — Higher Learning with Van Lathan & Rachel Lindsay → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489  Official Website → https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/  Rachel’s Book — Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, And A Few Hard Truths → https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&rank=1  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship. Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HEREhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship. If your first reaction to “open relationship” is “so… cheating?” you’re not alone, and this conversation is also for you. Cheating isn’t about a specific behavior, it’s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it’s important to clearly define YOUR rules together.  This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn’t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts. This isn’t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It’s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label. MasterClassHave you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers. Follow JaredInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbradyYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.Follow TouréWebsite → https://toure.com Toure Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.comPodcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify) Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Did you know, in 2023, more than 39,000 people were diagnosed with HIV in the United States and six territories, with Hispanic and Black individuals each accounting for more than a third (Source. CDC)In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with Jonathan Van Ness for a conversation about receiving an HIV diagnosis, the years he kept it private, and the moment he decided he wanted the story to come from him. Jonathan shares what it felt like to catch himself holding back during interviews, how choosing to speak changed his relationship with his own truth, and the sense of relief that followed once he stopped protecting something that shaped so much of his life.They also talk about the realities of HIV today, why knowing your status matters, and how tools like PrEP fit into the larger picture of staying informed and reducing stigma.Follow Jonathan Van NessWebsite → https://jonathanvanness.com/Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jvnYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/jvnJVN Hair → https://jvnhair.com/Podcast → https://jonathanvanness.com/podcasts/Books → https://jonathanvanness.com/books/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RYU, our little munchkin just turned FIVE!And while Thanksgiving week is here, Jared and I felt like it was the perfect moment to sit together and talk about being parents. Somewhere between the sleepless nights, tiny victories, meltdown moments, and unexpected laughter, Ryu taught us something surprising: sometimes, love is giving someone your dirty socks.(It’s her quote, and honestly… she’s not wrong.)Together, we explore:✨ How becoming parents reshapes the way you love and the way you’re loved✨ The unexpected emotional cost and reward of raising strong-willed children✨ A reflection on why we are the way we areA conversation for anyone navigating love, partnership, and the wild joy of raising tiny humans.—⭐ Follow JaredInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=enMusic MondayYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA⭐ Want more Lovers?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with singer and songwriter Sabrina Claudio for a conversation about heartbreak, loneliness, friendship, and the lessons that shaped her new album.Sabrina talks openly about how loneliness can quietly influence decisions, including staying in relationships that feel draining. She shares what it was like to feel isolated even while partnered, why she struggled to speak up about what she was going through, and how she eventually chose to walk away. We also explore the idea of emotional detox, the feeling of carrying someone long after the relationship ends, and the moment she realized she needed to release what was weighing her down.If you have ever tried to heal while still holding on, or wondered why connection sometimes feels complicated, this conversation offers insight and companionship.Referenced in this episode: Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory — the idea that our development is shaped by multiple layers of environment (from family + friends all the way to culture + society).Follow Sabrina ClaudioSabrina’s short film Fall In Love With HerInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/sabrinaclaudioTwitter → https://twitter.com/sabrinaclaudioYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/c/SabrinaClaudioWebsite → https://www.sabrinaclaudio.coWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this intimate London-based episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with the legendary storyteller and pleasure educator Seema Anand, the woman who transformed shame into sacred power.From being judged and silenced for her fascination with the Kama Sutra to becoming its most celebrated modern interpreter, Seema shares how self-love became her act of rebellion. Together, we talk about:✨ Growing up rebelling against libertine attitudes and then discovering Tantra✨ The link between shame, sensuality, and self-expression✨ Why women still feel guilt for wanting pleasure✨ The truth behind the Kama Sutra’s ancient wisdom✨ How to fall in love with yourself — unapologetically in your sixties or at any ageThis episode was inspired by our collaboration jewelry line KAMA, created to remind women to prioritize pleasure — in bed and beyond. Each piece is designed to honor the art of connection and confidence. In collaboration with Surmeyi, our Käma collection celebrates women’s bodies as inseparable from nature, and pleasure as the invisible force balancing the universe. Get your jewelry today:💎 The entire KAMA jewelry line is now back in stock for the holidays. Shop the collection: https://surmeyi.com/kamaAlso Seema’s brand new book Speak Easy is now available for preorderhttps://www.amazon.in/Speak-Easy-Field-Longing-Intimacy/dp/9361319337Interested in getting expert help spicing up your intimate life? Learn more about Arya, the couples subscription service that helps you make breaking the routine your new and exciting routine. Everyone is a lil kinky, and we all need help discovering ours - let Arya do all the hard work so you can focus on the fun part.http://arya.fyi/shanWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Ro for sponsoring this video. Connect with a provider at https://ro.co/lovers to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you.In collaboration with Seema Anand and Surmeyi, our Käma collection celebrates women’s bodies as inseparable from nature, and pleasure as the invisible force balancing the universe. Get your jewelry today:https://surmeyi.com/collections/kama -----Sacred, spicy, and still timeless — we had to bring this one back.Shan sat down with artist Tanerélle to dive deep into the world of sacred sexuality and conscious intimacy.Sacred sexuality is more than physical pleasure; it’s an intentional way of connecting through energy, presence, and deep emotional awareness. From gentle touch and stillness to moments of shared breath and meditation, it invites a kind of connection that transcends the body and opens the heart.This mindful practice can lead to profound release, heightened pleasure, and a fuller experience of intimacy, from multiple or non-ejaculatory orgasms for men to expansive, layered sensations for women.Plus, Brenden Durell joins to guide a special class in the LOVERS community. We go over sacred sexuality and breathwork, a transformative session on presence, connection, and embodied pleasure.Follow Taneréllehttps://www.instagram.com/tanerelle/ Follow BrendenInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/brendendurell/Website: https://brendendurell.com/ Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Calm your mind. Change your life. Try Calm by heading to https://calm.yt.link/2lLJh1b. ————————This week, Shan sits down with Grammy-winning artist Chrisette Michele opens up about being diagnosed with autism as an adult and the way that revelation helped her understand her rhythm, her relationships and what safety really means for her. She shares how music became one of the few places that always made sense, how her mom stood by her through the unknown, and how she finally began to remove the mask and meet herself.Later, we bring in expert Maria Davis-Pierre, LMHC, founder of Autism in Black, Inc., to guide a deeper conversation around autism, neurodivergence, intimacy, and how we show up for those we love.Whether you’re neurodivergent, in a relationship with someone who is, or simply want to deepen your understanding, this episode invites you to explore how love, safety, and authenticity coexist.Follow Chrisette Michele:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisettemichele/ Website:chrisettemichele.comFollow Maria Davis-Pierre & Autism in Black:Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/autisminblack/ Website: https://www.autisminblack.org/Sign up for the 5th Annual Autism In Black ConferenceVirtual or In-Person Attendance: https://funnel.autisminblack.org/2025-autism-in-black-registration-page?aff=Christina-SchmidtWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Function Health for sponsoring this video! Visit https://functionhealth.yt.link/Eug9eKx or use code LOVERS100 at sign-up to own your health. The first 1000 get a $100 credit toward their membership.————————In her mid-30s, Chy Fontenette from Behind the Likes podcast finds herself facing what feels like a full-life reset: a breakup she didn’t choose, friendships shifting as she starts setting boundaries, and a growing awareness of the pain she’s carried for years. Through tears, honesty, and reflection, Chy admits she doesn’t know what’s next, and Shan reminds her that she’s doing the most important thing of all: staying with herself through it.This episode is for anyone in that place where everything hurts and nothing feels certain. Shan offers tangible guidance on how to move through the fog, from becoming an archaeologist of your own life (digging up the moments you felt love and success before) to remembering Steve Jobs’ wisdom that you can’t connect the dots looking forward, only backward.The message is simple: you can’t rush this part. But if you keep caring for yourself, one day you’ll look up and realize, your life doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.Follow Chy Fontenette! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chy.f/Listen to her podcast “Behind the Likes”: https://www.behindthelikespodcast.com/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are relationships supposed to be THIS Hard?This week on LOVERS, Shan sits down with Glen and Yvette Henry, the couple behind the viral family brand Beleaf in Fatherhood.Glen, known as Beleaf, has a new book coming out titled Father Yourself First, which challenges men to approach fatherhood as a path of healing, self-awareness, and personal accountability.In this conversation, Glen and Yvette open up about how hard marriage can be, especially after kids, success, and faith transitions. From getting married young to raising four children and growing a public platform together, they’ve faced nearly every challenge that tests a couple’s foundation.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is marriage supposed to be this hard?”, this episode is for you. It’s a raw and honest reminder that struggle doesn’t mean failure, it means growth.✨ Preorder Glen’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555 📺 Watch their YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@BeleafInFatherhood 🎧 Listen to their podcast “How Married Are You” https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/ Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trigger Warning: This conversation includes a deeply personal story shared by André Holland, including a moment when someone he had affections for used a racial slur toward him. Listener discretion is advised.What happens when a core memory rewrites the story of how we see ourselves in love? In this week’s LOVERS episode, Shan sits down with actor André Holland to explore the pivotal memory that shaped his belief that he was never “good enough” as himself—and that he had to become someone “better” to be loved.They unpack how these deeply rooted emotional imprints steer our relationships—sometimes helping us, but often holding us back. André’s story reveals how early wounds can guide not just who we choose, but how we let love in.Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode is a powerful guide to: uncovering the underlying stories behind your intimacy rewriting beliefs that no longer serve you opening the door to deeper, more authentic connection 🎬 About Love, BrooklynWant more from André Holland? Be sure to check out his new film, Love, Brooklyn now playing in theaters. It will be available for streaming too! Stay up-to-date and follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovebrooklynmovie/For more on André be sure to follow him on Instagram: http://instagram.com/andrehollandWant more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To get 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp, visit http://betterhelp.com/loversbyshan. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode!—This week, I interview Lilly Singh, actor and history-making content creator, with a new movie RIGHT up our alley: Doin’ It (yes it’s a movie about sex, specifically what happens when a South Asian virgin is assigned to teach sex ed). In this episode Lilly opens up about growing up in a world where emotional chaos felt familiar, why she kept gravitating toward toxic partners who gave her the bare minimum, and how she’s now doing the inner work (therapy, inner child healing, setting boundaries) to protect “little Lilly.”In this conversation, we explore how past wounds shaped her romantic choices, and how she’s rewriting that story one day at a time.🎬 About Doin’ ItYou can catch “Doin’ It” in select theaters or pre-order the film on Apple, Amazon, and Fandango to watch it at home as of October 7.For more information visit doinitmovie.com 🔗 Follow Lilly Singh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lilly Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/LillyGrab her bestselling book Be a Triangle → https://www.lillysinghbook.comWant more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Ro for sponsoring this video. Connect with a provider at https://ro.co/lovers to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you.-----What happens when you realize the best sex of your marriage only shows up on vacation?Award-winning journalist, author, and podcaster Jemele Hill joins Shan for a conversation about how she uncovered the connection between stress, rest, and desire in her own marriage. She shares why her husband seems to get luckier when they’re away, how that awareness has deepened their relationship, and what it taught her about the balance between ambition, partnership, and intimacy.This episode is for my overachievers who struggle to “do it all,” for the happily partnered (or hoping-to-be), and for anyone who’s ever wondered how to bring that vacation spark back home.Together, Jemele and Shan break down:- Why “having it all” is a myth (and the price women pay for chasing it)- How silence around stress robs intimacy, and what to do instead- What “fair trade” in the home has to do with mutually desirable sex- Practical ways to bring vacation sex energy into everyday life🔗 Follow Jemele HillInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jemelehill/Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/jemelehillWant more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Function Health for sponsoring this episode! Visit https://functionhealth.com/loversbyshan or use code LOVERS100 at sign-up to own your health. The first 1000 get a $100 credit toward their membership.-----What does it mean to choose love on your own terms? How do our values, self-worth, and cultural expectations shape the way we show up in relationships?In this conversation, entrepreneur, fitness model, and actress Rosa Acosta shares her perspective on redefining what relationships can look like when you step away from society’s scripts. She reflects on leaving behind relationships that don’t serve both partners, questioning inherited scripts about men and women, and what it takes to create intimacy outside of convention.This is a dialogue about love as partnership, the courage to release what no longer fits, and the art of rewriting our own story.🔗 Follow Rosa AcostaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosaacosta/Cossa Mia: https://www.instagram.com/cossamia/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comGet a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Watch what happens when you ask for a performance review in your relationship. Do the hard and awkward questions lead to more intimacy or new resentments? In this week’s episode of Lovers, Shan sits down with her husband, Jared Brady, for their quarterly relationship check-in — on camera. Together, they ask the tough but necessary questions: Am I still who you want? Are you becoming who I need?This raw and real conversation reveals how couples can stay aligned, navigate change, and keep intimacy thriving over time. Plus, Shan and Jared share a free Relationship Check-In Guide so you and your partner can try this practice at home.Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode is a roadmap for honest communication, vulnerability, and keeping love strong.The full conversation of Jared and I lives in my community in the premium tier. Resource - Interactive Guide https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/relationship-checkin 🔗 Follow Jared BradyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=en https://www.youtube.com/@MusicMondayEnjoyWant more Lover?Check out Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Check out free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it mean to be ready for motherhood? How do love, faith, and our relationship with our maternal figures shape our parenting?In this honest and grounded conversation, educator, author, and activist Blair Imani shares her perspective on family planning, pregnancy loss, and the role of sexual education in real life. She opens up about having conversations with her partner around abortion as part of sexual health, and how her conversion to Islam continues to guide her through questions of timing, family, and faith.We also dive into Blair’s relationship with her mom, and how that connection influences her hopes for becoming a parent herself. It’s a conversation about the choices we face when planning for a baby, the loss and love that come with it, and the bigger role faith, values, and family play in planning our future. 🔗 Follow BlairInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/blairimaniTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blairimaniYouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@blairimaniWebsite: https://www.blairimani.com/ Want more Lover?Check out Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheck out free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What holds a relationship together when life falls apart? Most of us picture the happiest moments when we think about our partner, but what happens when tragedy hits? In this intimate conversation, Dr. Laura Berman shares how she and her husband weathered some of life’s hardest storms together. From dating him while she was caring for her young son with cancer, to the unimaginable loss of their son Sammy during the pandemic, Laura takes us inside the moments that tested their love, and the choices that kept them connected.Days after the death of their first child together, Sam pulled Laura close and said, “Most couples don’t get through tragedies like this, but we will.” It’s a reminder that the strength of a relationship isn’t just built in joy, it’s forged in the fire of what you survive together.Want more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter________________________Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Lovers, Shan sits down with The Pink Parley, a sex worker pulling back the curtain on what men secretly crave but rarely admit—even to their wives. With 98% of her clients being married men who have no desire to leave their marriages, Parley reveals the surprising request that keeps them coming back: ass worship.Yes, you read that right. These men don’t just want to “eat the groceries”—they want to be consumed by, suffocated by, and utterly surrounded by the booty. For them, it’s not just an act of pleasure; it’s a full-body, sensory experience.Together, Shan and Parley unpack what this hidden desire tells us about:- The gap between fantasy and communication in long-term relationships- The role of body positivity in sexual confidence and desire- How unspoken cravings can complicate fidelity inside marriageThis episode is provocative, eye-opening, and an important reminder that what we don’t say in the bedroom can be just as impactful as what we do.🔗 Follow The Pink ParleyWebsite: https://thepinkparley.com/Instagram: http://instagram.com/thepinkparleyWant more Lover?Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.comSign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityCheckout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter________________________Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.