Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast

Happy birthday Johnny! He's officially 28, but according to him he's still 27 because of some weird theory about the sun. All morning we heard from famous geniuses giving well wishes to the birthday boy, including Steven Hawking and Albert Einstein. We also celebrated by forcing Johnny to spin the Wheel of Punishments, and let's just say his new car will likely be undriveable afterward. We also heard your emergency landing stories, an Old People Secrets from 107 year old woman who definitely doesn't want to be alive anymore, and we tested robots in Man Vs Machine: Drug edition! This led to new tips like using the vahine to hide drugs and mustard sandwich. You can almost taste the meat!

We got your messages shaming Vanessa for her Box of Shame story on Friday, so let's be clear: Vanessa did not kill a dog & we love her. If you continue sending death threats, feel bad. Especially because you are sending them to a child. In other news, Ally somehow lost her phone in a shopping cart at Target and Klein walked into an adult store and confidently purchased the viral “Rose,” which backfired. Jake made his third attempt at getting a free donut at Krispy Kreme… and succeeded! Happy Super Saturday to all who celebrate. Postmaster Johnny failed his forced resolutions by not drinking every day like he was supposed to, so now we need listener punishment ideas. We get 'em to us! We spin the wheel tomorrow (his birthday). Plus, we break down the TikTok relationship “rules” everyone swears by: the 7-7-7 method, the 2-2-2 method, and the 5:1 magic ratio. Will any of them save your relationship?

Sweet dibbets! The Box of Shame was a doozy today. We learned Vanessa returned a puppy after she had homicidal thoughts about it. She's not a bad person or anything, she just wanted to kill a puppy. Jack Antonoff stopped by to talk about new Bleachers music and accidentally announced a tour! This time Klein did not give away his jacket, but Jack did grill him on his apathy toward music and reviewed his Medium Ass song. Long story short, they’re making an album together now. We also closed out l Olympic week with the Homo-lympics where people called in with their gay tendencies, including a man who exclusively buys lip gloss at Ulta. We also heard probably the most depressing edition of Jake's journal along with his day2 attempt at a free donut from Krispy Kreme.

Gorillaz stopped by the KROQ studio today to talk about their new album The Mountain. Not only did we learn frontman Damon has no cellphone, the interview ended with Jamie complimenting Klein on his jacket, which quickly led to Jamie wearing and promptly leaving with Klein's jacket, just as it started pouring rain. See the video on IG @kleinallyshow! We also heard about times you came across unexpected money in the Dough-lympics, and Klein shared another fail with his kids having to do with the tooth fairy. (if you thought klein had bad handwriting, you gotta see his cursive) Jake also began a social experiment to see how many days in a row he can get a free donut at Krispy Kreme. If you think it was easy, you are correct!

In this bonus pod we go over the pains of childbirth and taking psychedelics in public

Our boss wants us to switch out our podcast cover, and we need your help! If you're an artist, bored stoner, or just an idiot with ChatGPT, give us your best Klein.Ally.Show cover art and we just might slap it on our podcast! DM your designs to us on IG @kleinallyshow. The winner won't walk away empty handed! In other news, Klein sang to his wife before bed last to strengthen their relationship and it didn't go well. Ally tried and failed to bring grapefruits for her coworkers (check out grapefruit cam on the YouTube Livestream). And we heard your greatest food accomplishments during the Ozempics, including a woman who ate Costco trash pizza and a man who was cut off at The Olive Garden.

That's it, we're hiring a stripper for Vanessa. We did an AMA with Alejandro aka 'Kreme' or 'The Biggest Mexican,' where we learned about safe words, horny moms, sleeping with clients and even performing for someone's last day on earth. Vanessa definitely got horny and we're thinking he's the perfect thing for her upcoming birthday... The love theme continued when we heard from a phone sex operator during the Hoe-lympics, where we heard people's biggest sex accomplishments. We also heard a couple's secret to longevity in a romantic Old People Secrets! We also heard Ally attempt to order in Spanish at a local drive through (Ella tiene muchos gatos!), listened back to a Kevin & Bean highlight with the late Reverend Jesse Jackson, and someone on the show finally QUITS their forced resolution.