Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

My guests today are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral. Jaya and Priya have a lot in common, including being the co-authors of their new book, “Parenting at the Intersections.” This is a deeply emotional topic for them, both personally and professionally. Many people are discussing the experience of neurodivergence, and many people are discussing being a person of color, but where are the resources for neurodivergent people of color? Jaya and Priya have so much wisdom to share, from asking for what your child needs until they get it, what people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know, and why & how to be there for all kids, not just your kid. We dig deep into how we can expand our definition of what’s “normal,” so that we can be less judgmental, especially when there are systems in place working against that, and how hard it can be for adolescents to find their strengths when we are so focused on deficits. Takeaways from the show How do you hold the feedback about your child from their school? How do you make it work when public school is the only option? Asking for what you or your child(ren) needs until you get it Checking your biases What do people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know? Being curious, empathetic, & compassionate Being in it for all kids, not just your kid Expanding our definition of “normal” so we can be less judgmental Moving away from neurotypical expectations, narratives, & timelines Holding that space for our child(ren) when they show up differently For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ooh, I have some fun during this week's solo show... If I could go back to parenting my kids through middle school I would take my own advice and do it differently. The beauty of hindsight. Lucky for YOU I am sharing all of my thoughts around parenting during middle school years today on the show! Find the full show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-484-the-real-work-of-parenting-during-the-middle-school-years Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My friend Douglas Haddad is here this week to chat about all things middle school, with a focus on encouraging discouraged learners. Douglas has been teaching for over 24 years (at ONE school!), and I love his commitment to his students. Douglas shares what he’s seen changing during that period, like higher anxiety & social media misuse, and what’s stayed the same, like a child’s need to feel loved, heard, and understood. Douglas shares his wisdom on keeping middle schoolers encouraged & engaged: making sure they understand the systems in place around them, how we can help when our kid isn’t connecting with a teacher, collaborating on family agreements, and helping our tweens grow their tolerance for discomfort. Takeaways from the show What’s different between middle school today & when you were a tween? “Loved, heard, and understood” What does discouragement look like in the classroom? Wait Until 8th Pledge Does your child know & understand the systems in place around them? How to help foster connection between your child & their teachers Family contracts, charters, agreements, & meetings Being available without an agenda or judgment Setting & celebrating small goals Scaffolding for our kiddos to grow their tolerance for discomfort For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is so easy, when we aren't paying attention, to let our minds slide into all the worst-case scenarios, the worst possible outcomes, "dead in a ditch." I know, I've been there, and it ISN'T USEFUL. It isn't an empowered or encouraged parenting mindset during the teen years. So how do we shift?? Listen to this episode and find out! Get more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-482-Shifting-from-worst-case-scenarios-to-trusting-process-teens/ Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy & Christy are back for part 2 of our conversation, and we’re talking about pornography. Please believe us: your kid is going to see porn. Some families are more aware & ready for this moment than others, so what can you do and say to prepare? You can’t prevent the exposure or know how your child will react, but we can get ready for it and start the conversation now. Pornography is all over the place and often hidden, and unfortunately kids view that as Sex Ed & think that pornography is what sex with a partner will be like for them - they assume that hardcore porn is real life. Seeing these images train their brain; watching porn today is very different from running into an issue of Playboy when we were kids, and it’s impossible to avoid. So what do we say to our kids? What’s the magic word? Christy shares the way she uses values to talk to her teen, and Amy explains how to keep the conversation around other kids to break through to your own teen. We touch on monitoring software & sugar dating. The good news here is that there are many resources available for families to use, and it can get better. Takeaways from the show Your kids will see pornography Pornography is different than when you were a kid Kids often keep it a secret if they see pornographic material. Let them know they won’t be in trouble! Pornography is often in hidden, unexpected spaces Kids see pornography as Sex Ed Pornography trains their growing brain - including the themes of misogyny, racism, & shame around their bodies Don’t tell yourself, “it won’t happen to my kid” Porn is harder to avoid today than it was to find in the ‘80s What do we say to our kids about this? Conversations about pornography need to start early - earlier than you think! Keep them short & frequent Using monitoring software For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we are going deep into examining the beliefs we hold about our kids and how they might actually be what is getting in the way and creating the suffering we are experiencing. I know, seems like an easy fix, right? We may not be able to control our kids (truly, we can't) but what we BELIEVE about them is for sure a part of our influence AND for SURE impacts how we EXPERIENCE them. Listen in and let me know what you think. Find more about our sponsors and full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-480-power-of-examining-beliefs-we-hold-about-our-teens-and-tweens/ Jump into the FB group discussion at https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1604661457038309/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is my good, local friend - Cindy Palmer. Cindy’s here to talk about executive functioning in kids with neurodivergence, especially during the transition to college. High School is a time that is typically incredibly structured, down to the minute, and the transition to college is tricky for all adolescents. What do we do when it feels like our kids aren’t ready? How can parents help scaffold that transition? Especially for kids with neurodivergence? Cindy shares lots of strategies and ideas around supporting our adolescents during this tricky time - getting curious & compassionate, not holding a certain view on what things “should” look like, and what kind of bumps slow down (or stop) our kiddos from getting their work done. I ask Cindy what we can be doing in the middle & high school years to help with the transition (spoiler: it’s lots of practice & baby steps) and we talk about how important grades actually are. We get into what we can hand over to our kids right now (how about waking themselves up in the morning?) and why we want to practice these life skills in middle school, not the first week of college. We wrap up touching on adjusting our expectations for how older kiddos contribute to the family (and how we can use these as opportunities to teach life skills). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You and me and enthusiastic curiosity - WOOHOO! It may sound crazy but when we can really connect with the experience we are having while navigating our kids' mischief, regulate, and shift into curiosity, there is space for much deeper connection and learning for all. Truly. Listen to this show for tips on all the things - and let me know what you think! For show notes and more info on our sponsors, head to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-478-Meeting-misbehavior-with-enthusiastic-curiosity/ To chime in on your take-aways, join the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1600103267494128/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am SO glad you’re here this week for my second chat with Emily Cherkin, AKA The Screentime Consultant. We start by talking about what Emily’s been seeing & dealing with lately: managing screentime at home, reigning screentime in after Covid struggles, and kids having more access to tech at younger ages than ever before. It’s obvious that parents are really trying to figure out how to set screentime limits that actually work without isolating our kids from their social network or hindering their schoolwork. We also get into screens & tech in the bedroom & our hypocrisy on expectations around screentime. After catching up on all of that, we dig into AI - what AI is, how quickly it’s changing, & the lack of transparency and understanding around AI. Emily shares her TLDR around all tech: “less is more, later is better, & relationships first.” Emily and I ponder on what parents can do when they want their kids to have a phone for emergencies, and she shares what her two questions for parents are around screentime. Key Takeaways How do we set screentime limits that actually work and are helpful?! Tech use is all about balance Managing screentime at home Reigning in screentime after Covid Screens & electronics in bedrooms What is AI? “Less is more, later is better, & relationships first” How adolescents having phones helps & exacerbates parental stressors Do you know what your kid is doing on their device? You have the tools you need to manage this! For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there - back again with thoughts on Monday's episode and prompting us all to have a broader perspective than just the one that lives in our heads. Our relationships depend on our willingness to consider how where we are coming from is getting in the way of what we ultimately want to create. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this! For more show notes and info on our sponsors go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-476-Being-right-downside-comparing-our-experience-others/ To share your takeaways to the prompts in the FB Group, go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1596414907862964/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Aaron Steinberg. Aaron is super passionate about equipping couples with the tools they need for the challenges of parenthood. The good news is that these challenges are universal, and we can make changes in our relationships. Aaron and I get into a whole lot in our conversation: family meetings, offering & receiving feedback from a spouse, and how to talk to your spouse when you’re the one with the new tools & ideas to try. I love Aaron’s framing of being “somewhat right” and why the objective truth doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I ask Aaron what he thinks about ambivalence showing up in a long-term relationship and what realistic expectations are in a long marriage. Takeaways from the show: Parenting brings up all kinds of things from our past & can make us feel incompatible with our partner Sometimes our needs are seemingly incompatible with our partner’s needs Relationships are constant practice Family meetings Offering feedback kindly & receiving feedback openly Separating feelings problems from action problems Erasing competitiveness from problems Being “somewhat right” Ambivalence in a long relationship Checking your vision of marriage For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Inspired by Monday's show and a post for the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group, today is an exploration of the experience and considerations when you find yourself parenting with someone who doesn't align with your style of parenting. Share your takeaways in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group by clicking here. Check out the full show notes and links about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-474-when-we-dont-align-with-our-partners-parenting-style/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Carol Szuky. Carol is on the show today because she feels called to talk about the narcissistic abuse she navigated with her children for most of their lives. Carol shares the story of meeting and marrying her narcissistic husband and the two big indicators that let her know the relationship was no longer healthy or working. I ask Carol to define narcissism from her experience and how/when she planned to leave, then she shares the conversation & surprising twist that opened her husband up to listening, feeling, and changing. Takeways from the show What is narcissism? What does it look like? Where does narcissism come from? Indicators that your relationship is not healthy Tools & therapies that can help narcissists and victims How people react to the narcissism diagnosis Co-parenting with a narcissist Holding integrity, knowing your worth, & keeping your boundaries For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm back with a brand new solo show, channeling wisdom and empowerment. Today I am reflecting on a workplace training experience and will emphasize the importance of nurturing relationships with teenagers amidst their complexities and challenges. I share insights on fostering understanding, transparency, and connection with teens, urging you all to navigate the wonkiness of adolescence with curiosity and presence. See more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-472-The-wobble-of-centering-relationship-and-curiosity-with-our-teens/ Share your takeaways in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group - click here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Michael Jacobus, and we’re talking about unhealthy screen time, social media overuse, gaming addiction, and his Reset Summer Camp program. Michael shares how his own son becoming addicted to video games and the lack of help & programs available inspired him to create Reset Summer Camp. We, as parents, did not know the Pandora’s Box we were opening when we first brought technology and social media into our homes. We end up feeling guilty and don’t know what to do. How and why would we? None of this was available when we were teens! Michael posits that over half of the teens in the US have an issue with screen time, and he shares some recommendations for screen time at home (including when you get big, emotional reactions to new limits). I ask Michael how to first open up this conversation with your teen, how to best roll out social media to younger teens, and we wrap up agreeing that screen time usage is an issue that is truly universal and in every home. Takeaways from the show Gaming disorder is a real, diagnosable condition Parents typically don’t know what to do about gaming disorder and other screen time addictions Technology addiction or screen time addiction is a family problem How do you differentiate between typical teen behavior and serious overuse of technology? Checking your own screen time usage Recommendations for screen time at home The importance of good sleep How to roll out social media to a young teen Screen time is an issue in every household For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am taking us back to the core concepts of PD. For some of you, it will be a review, for others, it will be no - no matter, this show is sure to take EVERYONE deeper in their thinking about how we be in relationships with our kids as they move through the season of adolescence. For more show notes and sponsor info click here. To jump into the FB Group and share your takeaways, click here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This is the last episode of this limited series, and we’re excited to talk about leaning into perseverance. Parenting is messy! We’ve got to keep our growth mindset and get into the thick of it to build grit, resilience, and to evolve as parents. Get in the ring with these kiddos. Engage! We’re not going to get it exactly right; it’s going to be messy, and that’s part of the work. So often, we just want to get back to comfort, and we use our easiest tools without a pause to see what the situation really called for. Kids need for us to be in discomfort with them, not fix it for them! Alanna explains what mirror neurons are, where our empathy comes from, and why it’s so hard for us when our child(ren) are losing it. Casey digs into how our own history and inner-child affects our parenting, and Julietta shares what signals we need to keep our eyes open for. We often talk about fostering a growth mindset in our children, but how do we lean into a grown mindset when it comes to our parenting style? This is real neuroscience, and everyone can grow and change. What do you do when something doesn’t work? What can you learn in those tough moments and the parenting mistakes? You are capable of this! We wrap the Founders Series with a metaphor that we started with - how do we set our kids up for adulthood with a U-Haul full of tools instead of a U-Haul full of trauma? Kids don’t have to learn from painful experiences. We can teach life skills in a way that sets our child(ren) up with a loving, encouraging inner voice. We can be grateful for what we learned from our parents and still choose to parent differently. Takeaways from the show: Leaning into perseverance Fine tuning our inner listening What does this moment actually need? Being uncomfortable with your child Truly accepting your kids starts with acceptance of yourself Mirror neurons & empathy Growth mindset Staying hopeful “We choose the challenge.” Assuming positive intent, explaining intention, and collaborating with your child “You get to choose what’s hard.” Setting our kids up with a U-Haul of tools, not a U-Haul of trauma Gratitude for the lessons your parents taught you (and choosing to parent differently) There’s never been a better time for a parenting revolution, and we’re gaining momentum & resources Dignity & respect for all Sproutable’s mission statement For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am attempting to have a conversation with listeners about the messiness being in relationship with our adolescents relationship with their screens. I know. It's so much - so annoying and not going anywhere and impossible and all the things. Or maybe you have it handled, if so shoot me a message and teach me your wisdom. If you have a tween or a teen, my guess is that you have some opinions on this whole thing - listen in to today's show to hear my take. For more shownotes and info about sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-468-Teens-tweens-and-screens To check out the Teens and Screens mini summit, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/teens/positive-discipline-course-online/teens-screens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about when we’re doing all “the right” parenting moves, but we’re STILL having challenges. Spoiler alert: the challenges will change, but there will always be challenges. What we can change is how we handle, experience, & grow through those challenges. ALL families and ALL children bring challenges - it’s typical, it’s normal, it’s developmental. Julietta explains what the Continuum of Change is and why conscious parenting takes so much time, effort, & intention. It’s not easy! Julietta shares a detailed recounting of helping one of her children through a serious phobia and why she always has a dog treat in her pocket! We get into the importance of family meetings, helping children through anxiety, and how and when to hand the reins over to children to solve their problems. Casey shares a story about her son, and how we get to keep practicing these skills with our older children. We wrap today with a lovely quote from Maya Angelou and an invitation to envision showing up in a different way. The only thing you can control is how you show up. Join us next week for the last episode in the Founder Series and a deep dive into perseverance for the long term. Takeaways from the show Challenges change, but they will always be there “Magic 8” What is useful? What is helpful? Understanding where your child is developmentally Being firm without being harmful The Continuum of Change Family Meetings When and how to know when to let your child lead Slice it thinner: What do you want? What’s your plan? Trusting your child(ren)’s gifts & skills Intrinsic motivation & practicing skills in the safety of home They’ve got it! And if they don’t, they will figure it out! “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” “This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before.” - Maya Angelou For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back again on the ride of the messiness of humaning. This week I am all of the place and talk about all the things that are showing up with parents who are just stepping into this work of parenting teens differently, about the ever evolving relationships we have with ourselves and the people in our life, and even a little bit of Buddhism woven in... Check it out! You can find all the show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-466-Consciously-practicing-connection-curiosity-and-presence-with-ourselves-and-others/ Join the FB Group conversation by clicking here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about goals & intentionality. Now that we’ve had a chance in the series to talk about our own parenting stories, touched on what’s going on with the fear, shame, & guilt that we all feel, and shared some tips for being okay with the messiness of parenting, now we can dig into being intentional and defining our parenting goals. There’s lots we can do to control kids - yes, punishment can work short term. But we want to do better than that - we want to be intentional, conscious parents. We have to step back and ask, “Why are we doing this? What’s my goal here? What’s my long-term intention? What do I want to bring to life in this interaction?” It all comes back to teaching and skill-building. Takeaways from the show Clarifying what your goal is Discipline means to teach We can’t control outcomes, but we can be intentional in our actions & what we bring to the dynamic “What does this moment need?” Sometimes we’re the ones in the way of what needs to be taught Willingness lives inside of intentionality Creating a family charter This is a long-term game - no quick fixes in parenting What about when our parenting partner or village have different goals than we do? You’re not the only person who will teach your child Experiences are how kids grow For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back again with another solo show inspired by a member of the Living Joyful Courage membership group and her request for something about adolescents and dating. 😳 It's one of the many exciting and terrifying age appropriate areas of exploration and discovery for our kiddos - and we get to show up in a way that encourages their critical thinking and growth. This show gets into that. Mentioned during the show was the Sex Ed for Parents of Teens mini summit. Click here for info. Share your thoughts in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group. Find more show notes and info about our sponsors here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about shifting our perspective & embracing imperfection so we can learn and grow as parents and humans. Embracing the challenges is hard! When we have our compass of understanding development & trusting connection, we can move away from the shame & guilt we talked about last week. Find all the show notes and links mentioned, as well as info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-463-perspective-and-imperfection-the-art-of-connected-parenting-part-3/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week on a journey to discovering our teens strengths. This is the glue that will keep your teen's team together. What they need most from us is to be seen and celebrated for who they are. They need their adults to recognize and mirror their strengths. Listen in for more! Find more show notes and info from our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-462-Being-explicit-with-finding-and-naming-our-teens-strengths/ Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about guilt, shame, and self-doubt. All parents feel guilt, shame, and self-doubt about aspects of their parenting, even us as ‘experts’ - especially us! Today, all three of us are sharing stories of times we’ve felt (or still feel) guilt, shame, and self-doubt around our parenting. Parenting is a place where those hard feelings often pop up. There are a lot of layers to this, and the power of hindsight can leave us feeling regretful about things we did or didn’t do. What do we do with these crappy feelings? What can we do in the moment when we feel shame creeping up on us? Takeaways from the show All parents feel guilt, shame, and self-doubt sometimes The power of hindsight Digging deeper to examine your values Society’s “supposed to’s” “It’s much easier for me to see my child be different and make waves, but it’s much harder for me to be different and make waves.” Parenting is a journey with lots of opportunities to keep practicing The way our kid’s behavior reflects on us Accepting and advocating for our children for who they are Why we like getting calls from school Leaving room for kids to have their own perspective “Tell me more” Why we avoid labeling our kids Doubting your parenting intuition Finding the answers for your self-doubt Moving from stopping behaviors to building missing skills Worthiness & value are innate For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So I am fired up this week and I have our boys on the brain. So many of my clients and people in the community are struggling with their boys. Not only struggling with their boys, but struggling to soften to the idea that their boys are having a hard time and really need a deeper relationship with their parents most. Listen in to hear more - and don't worry, if you have a daughter you will still find value in this conversation! For complete show notes and info about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-460-Get-past-your-resistance-and-focus-on-relationship-with-your-teen/ To share your thoughts in the FB Group, click here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. Why do we show up, even when it’s hard & stressful? We dig deeper into the meaning behind the connected parenting movement (aka conscious parenting, positive discipline, gentle parenting, positive parenting). When we are intentional about our parenting, it’s an opportunity for personal evolution as well as a cultural revolution. In this first episode of the series, we share stores from our own childhood experiences. We all have residual effects of the ways we were parented. How can we show up differently as parents? We’re not going for picture perfect Instagram parenting here - we’re getting real and digging into the messy moments. The second half of this episode is all about reparenting. What is reparenting? Is it just another buzzword? We find that all 3 of us have different definitions but end up at the same place: healing your inner child & showing up differently for your own kids. We’re all growing and evolving. We’re here to help people! We change the lives of children & families for the better, and that’s what drives us. Join us next week when we’re back to talk about guilt, shame, & self-doubt. Takeaways from the show Introducing the founders of Sproutable Exploring positive parenting, gentle parenting, conscious parenting, positive discipline The ways your childhood could affect how you show-up in relationships as an adult Being the parent you want to be Acknowledging our privilege & blindspots We all make mistakes & lose it sometimes - it’s how you repair that matters What “reparenting” means to each of us Healing your inner child There’s always room & time to change your trajectory Trusting your inner wisdom For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's solo show celebrates Brene Brown's invitation to have a strong back, a soft front and a wild heart as we move through the season of parenting adolescents. It is so important that we send the message of care, concern and acceptance to our teens, even as we don't love their behavior. It supports our teens to kow that we see them, and we value them, even as they are stumbling through this time of their life. Find full shownotes and info on our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-458-Distinguishing-between-our-teens-and-their-behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Luke Entrup is here today to talk about healthy rites-of-passage for our teen boys. Luke explains what rites-of-passage are, why they’re important for our teens, and what adolescents get out of these rites-of-passage: a healthy connection to themselves and to their community. We dig into how gender affects these rites-of-passage and how we can create spaces where all genders are celebrated. We touch on toxic masculinity and how we can redefine what masculinity is and means today. I ask Luke if he thinks teenage boys are as hesitant to open up as we think, and he shares what they do at his Father-Son Connection Experiences. We finish today talking about accepting and trusting the kid that you have. Takeaways from the show What are rites-of-passage? Rites-of-passage can be uncomfortable What do we get from these rites-of-passage? Does gender play into this? How can we expand those boxes? What is male identity today? In the future? Is masculinity toxic? How do we define what masculinity is today? “One eye in, one eye out” What to do if you’re feeling disconnected from your teen son Who can teens open up to, besides their parents? Accepting and trusting the kid that you have For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When does positivity and optimism get in the way of what our teens need? How can we be with what they are moving through in a way that is helpful and builds connection and trust in our relationship with them? Listen in to this weeks solo show and hear all about this topic! Find show notes and more info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-456-being-with-our-teens-experiences Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Talking with Kristen Duke, mentor to parents of teens, and full of enthusiasm for what we can create when we work on building a relationship founded on trust. Kristen guides us through some blind spots parents have that get int the way of a connection, and how to be the person our adolescents need. Find more show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-455-kristen-duke-helps-us-build-more-trust-with-our-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we get ever more focused on the interpersonal nature of raising teens. Where are we focusing our attention? What are we centering in our relationships? What might happen if we keep in mind our kids strengths even when things are going sideways? See all the show notes and more about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-454-Expanding-how-we-are-relating-to-our-teenagers/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Alexandra Ford, and we’re tackling a scary subject today. January is human trafficking prevention month, so I want to grow everyone’s awareness with Alexandra, and we’ll share ways to keep your kids safe. Alexandra kicks us off by explaining what human trafficking looks like in 2024 and how her own story inspires her to do this work. We try to articulate the difference between being sexually empowered and sexually exploited and the reality of the commercial sex industry. I ask Alexandra what she needed from her parents during her trafficking experience which spurs us to touch on teaching autonomy, consent, accessing help, & listening to your gut. We get into online safety and what to share and not share online (and what if you’ve already shared it?!) and how to safely introduce a device to your teen. Alexandra generously stays on a bit longer to share her wisdom on how we can make sure our teens really know they can come to us when they have a problem. Takeaways from the show What does domestic human trafficking look like in 2024? How do I make sure this never happens to my child(ren)? What’s the difference between being sexually empowered versus sexually exploited? Commercial sex industry Tangible online safety tips Creating an environment in which your kids know they can truly come to you & share anything “If your child has any online presence . . . it is not a matter of if a predator sees them, it’s a matter of when.” How to safely introduce a new device to an older child or adolescent - engage, engage, engage! Conversations in the car “When you make a mistake, which you will, I will walk with you through it and love you through it. We will find a way to the other side, whatever it is . . . I am here.” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week during this solo episode as we play with the concept of flexibility while parenting through the teen years. Where are you finding flexibility? How might flexibility serve your relationhip with your teen? What is getting in the way of flexibility? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Ed Center, and today we’re talking about how power shows up while parenting teens. Ed kicks off our conversation sharing how his childhood and parenting experience led him to finding Positive Discipline, and how & where cultural wisdom and cultural trauma affect our parenting. Ed and I talk about how hard it is to pause and access our Positive Discipline tools in the moment when you are pissed, and why those moments & gaps are so important. Ed brings it back to Alfred Adler’s belonging & significance, shares a reminder that teens are craving additional autonomy, power, & significance, and explains that negative attention is significance, too. We talk about Ed’s blog post & metaphor, “Your attention is the sun,” and we agree on the effectiveness of the “when, then, walk” strategy. Ed and I dig into what can stop positive parenting strategies from working and what threatens our connection with our kids (spoiler: screens aren’t helping!). Takeaways from the show Passing on cultural wisdom Not passing on cultural trauma How do we access our Positive Discipline strategies when we are pissed off!? Your kids can build new skills when they are feeling secure in their belonging & significance Teens who are secure in their belonging with you start seeking belonging from other sources Adolescents are craving additional autonomy, power, significance without accountability or repercussions “Negative attention is significance” “Your attention is the sun” metaphor & mantra When, then, & walk “Wisdom and love are slow” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You never know what is going to unfold while parenting teenagers... Listen to this podcast and consider how you can practice "warming up" to be ready to be your best self for the challenges that show up! Find show notes and more info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-450-Warming-up-for-the-twists-turns-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Nataly Kogan, and she’s here to talk about simple practices that can help us move from struggling to thriving. Nataly starts off today sharing her amazing story as a child immigrant and refugee and how that led her to the work she does today. Nataly and I discuss how we can juggle motivating our teens to be achievers without pushing themselves to burnout. We talk about Nataly’s “Awesome Human Journal,” her TEDx Talk, and how our inner-critics help, or don’t help, our parenting. Nataly shares her wisdom about self-talk, why we are so much kinder when we speak to others, and how self-compassion makes us better parents. Finally, I ask Nataly to introduce her five emotional fitness skills: acceptance, gratitude, self-care, intentional kindness & compassion, and finding the “bigger why.” Takeaways from the show How do we teach teens to be achievers without pushing themselves to burnout? Nataly’s “Awesome Human Journal” Quieting your self-criticism “Self-talk is not free” Self-compassion improves your ability to show-up at your best Making the decision to shift from struggling to thriving We are not here to suffer “Treating yourself like a friend” Emotional fitness skills “Earning” or “deserving” self-care & how much time self-care takes For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me in the final solo show of 2023 in an exploration of how to calibrate ourselves to be with life unfolding. We can't know what lies ahead, but we CAN tend to ourselves in a way that warms us up for the unexpected twists and turns of life, Listen in to learn how. Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-448-Practices-for-tending-to-ourselves-new-year/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Andrea Owen. Andrea and I connect over our love of coaching and keeping things real and authentic (and our matching ‘surrender’ tattoos!). Andrea shares what she’s working on with her own two teenagers right now, and I ask how we can shift our perspective to view parenting challenges as invitations instead of just focusing on problems. We talk about how we can trust that things will work out okay, and Andrea shares what questions she asks people to help them discover their values and why value work is important. We dig into how we don’t know the impacts of our parenting, how our kids experience it, or how we will all remember what happened. Lastly, I ask Andrea how she coaches parents to move into a more present way of being in their relationship. Takeaways from the show How our own teenage years impact our parenting Viewing challenges as invitations Trusting that things are going to be okay Defining your values: What’s important to you? What’s important about the way you live your life? Values change over time “Sending our kids to therapy with a carry-on bag, not a U-haul truck” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week in an exploration of how we have been holding boundaries and expectations and how we can get ever more explicit while communicating the boundaries and expectations with our kids. It's good. And messy. It's all the things and I invite you to jump into the arena with me! You can find more about the show, show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-446-Bringing-boundaries-expectations-to-life-while-parenting-teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Julietta Skoog! My sister from another mister, Julietta, is my colleague at Sproutable, and she’s here today to talk about firmness. Julietta starts by defining what firmness means (hint: it’s follow through, not being mean!), and we talk about how tone and confidence play into firmness. We get into “being strict,” taking time for training & giving kids independence, and supporting our teens who need new social experiences. Julietta shares her wisdom on leaning on relationship, connection, firmness when things get bigger with your kids and how to stay curious & collaborative. I ask Julietta what we can do if our relationship is feeling frayed, and share the power in saying, “I love you, and the answer is no.” I ask what we can do when our teenagers physically leave against our wishes and what to do when they return. Julietta and I talk about how messy & relentless being firm can be, then Jules shares an “aha” moment about the teen years, and we wrap up with some thoughts on how our own teen years influence us. Takeways from the show What is firmness? What does it look like? Sound like? Is firmness being mean? Firmness is the foundation for mutual respect Being a consistent parent “Mean what you say and say what you mean” Teens need new social experiences - how can we set them up for success? “I love you, and the answer is no.” What to do when your teen physically leaves (against your wishes) and what to do when they return The similarities between the toddler years & teen years Moving from regulation to relationship to reason Firmness takes practice! It can be uncomfortable. “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we get into how communication is looking with our teens and how to be better at listening and creating opportunities for win/wins. Communication is key for nurturing strong relationships - no doubt there are powerful nuggets to take away from this show! Go to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-444-Enhancing-Parent-Teen-Communication-as-Year-Ends/ for full show notes and information about our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Chad Dion Lassiter, and he’s here today to talk with me about how the holiday season can be a great time for parents to model the practice of tolerance, empathy and understanding their kids will need to be successful in our multicultural world. I ask Chad how we can prepare our kids emotionally for messiness with extended family during the holiday season, and he shares ideas on how we handle heavy conversations and how we set the tone of our home. I bring up the trickiness of when your core family unit feels one way, but the extended family feels differently, and good practices for parents who are advocating for their child. We talk about the hard conversations that arise during family get-togethers, how to “host like a diplomat,” being present, & seeing the beauty in all people. Takeaways from the show Families are cultural carriers The holidays as an opportunity to visit & connect with your adult children Winter holidays come with spoken & unspoken expectations How can we prepare our kids for the messiness of extended family gatherings? Encouraging our kids to participate in intergenerational conversations Advocating for your child when extended family has different beliefs How to “host like a diplomat” Families socialize us into being who we are What kids need “in their back pocket” for a holiday get-together Families can have a heated conversations while still holding truth, love, & kindness at the core Seeing the beauty in all people For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week is the first episode of an end of year wrap up. We are doing an inventory of past, present and future in the context of emotional intelligence development. EQ is EVERYTHING and this week I am not only defining what it is, but also sharing strategies for STRENGTHENING EQ, and how to encourage our teens to do the same. Listen in! Get full show notes and info on sponsors by heading to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/442-Developing-emotional-intelligence-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me and my good friends Amy Lang and Christy Keating as we dig into the trend of "sugar dating." Why do we care? Well, this is a growing trend on college campuses and it's important for parents to be informed and able to have conversations with their young adult children. Find more show notes and ad info at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/exploring-sugar-dating-amy-lang-christy-keating/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me for this week's solo show as we dig into the importance and power of doing our own work around self regulation. The teen years are NO JOKE and if you are parenting an adolescent you KNOW how hard it is to keep yourself calm and centered. I see you! Tune in for this conversation. Find more show notes and learn about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is Dr. Tasha Brown, and it is a good one for anyone loving and supporting dysregulated teens! Dr. Brown starts off today explaining how she found her way to working with children with significant behavioral problems, and I ask about accommodations and if people ever view accommodations as enabling. We get into how to handle low distress tolerance, high reactivity, big emotions, and oppositional defiant disorder in adolescents. I bring up why some kids are more emotional than others, and Dr. Brown explains how we can dig deeper into what’s going on. We talk about global trauma & creating safety in our relationship. Dr. Brown reminds us how hard it is to be a teenager and why we need to come in with patience & empathy. She also shares her advice on starting conversations in neutral, collaborating with your teen, discussing coping strategies, and paying attention to positive behaviors. We end with a broad strokes chat on understanding neurodiversity in your teen, especially ADHD, and if we should share our children’s diagnoses with them. Takeaways from the show What are accommodations? Are accommodations just enabling? Teaching teens to advocate for themselves Distress tolerance and reactivity Typical child development challenges versus oppositional defiant disorder Patience & empathy for our teens! Modeling regulation Prioritizing special time & connection Starting conversations neutrally & staying collaborative Discussing coping strategies with teens The more attention given to a behavior, the more the behavior will increase Understanding neurodiversity, especially ADHD in your teen Should we tell children about their diagnoses? For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week in an exploration of what it means to be present, and what becomes available in relationships when we choose into that practice. See more show notes at: http://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-438-power-presence-while-navigating-relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited to talk to my guest, Valerie Tih, today. Valerie starts by explaining what Enneagram types are, how Enneagram complements Positive Discipline, & why Enneagram types are useful when it comes to parenting. Valerie shares a bit about practicing presence and balancing your body, heart, & head. I ask how we can connect deeper with the teens we have and what to do when your Enneagram type is different from your child’s. We get into how to expand our relationship with our teen, how our ego plays in, and how & why we need to have faith in our adolescents. Takeaways from the show What is an Enneagram? Why & how does Enneagram complement Positive Discipline philosophy? “Stuff is going to happen; are we going to react or are we going to respond?” Practicing presence in your body, heart, & head Connecting deeper with the teen you have How to use presence to open a space for your teen to share Expanding your relationship with your teen Trusting that your teen will make it through adolescence For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we dive deeper into what "individuation" really means, and how parents can provide an optimal environment for their teens to move through this very developmentally appropriate process. Get full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-436-Creating-a-safe-space-for-our-teens-individuate Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices