Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

My guest today is Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein and we’re talking about sexism and our daughters. Dr. Finkelstein kicks us off by sharing how a pink hockey stick impacted her childhood and inspired her to speak about sexism & gender bias. I ask what intergenerational transmission of sexism is, and Dr. Finkelstein helps me deconstruct an incident I had with Ronan about how she was dressing in 8th grade. We ponder on how we can raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls or instilling fear and how to navigate bodily autonomy in a world where their bodies sometimes are not safe and don’t feel like their own. It’s you and your daughter against the unfairness of the patriarchy & the culture, not each other! I ask Dr. Finkelstein what messaging young girls are receiving from media & pop culture right now, how we can teach & encourage young women to stand up for themselves & feel empowered without putting themselves in danger, and how we can have meaningful conversations with them men & boys in our life about sexism & patriarchy. Takeaways from the show The intergenerational transmission of sexism The “battle” between moms & daughters about clothing How do we raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls? People get harassed (and worse) regardless of what they wear Fostering a healthy sense of entitlement in young women What messages are girls and young women receiving from pop culture and media right now? Raising boys who are sensitive to sexism and male privilege For more show notes, including transcripts, please visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am back with a brand new solo show! I loved my convo with Dr. Tina Bryson (Eps 511) and was inspired to go deeper into trusting our teen’s development. This show goes into what is happening in the teen brain and how to work WITH our kids to promote relationship and autonomy over time. Enjoy! Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-512-trusting-our-teens-development Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Tina Bryson is BACK today! I love her work, and I’m so excited she’s here to talk about launching our teens, which is incredibly timely after I dropped my youngest child off at college yesterday! Dr. Bryson shares her wisdom on avoiding fear-based parenting & reminds us that development & maturation happens no matter what - maybe we don’t need to worry quite so much. She explains what the “right” amount of support is and why kids need to make mistakes & take risks to become wiser and more responsible. Dr. Bryson shares her own personal stories about launching two of her teens to college and how & why they were so different. Dr. Bryson wraps us up by giving dos & don'ts for when your adolescent is in distress. We want to problem solve, criticize, or minimize, but instead, we can respond in a way that invites them to keep sharing things with us: by offering empathy & letting them solve their own problem. Takeaways from the show How do you know when & what you need to really worry about regarding your child(ren)? When are you wasting energy? Avoiding fear-based parenting Kids have to make mistakes & take risks in service of becoming wiser and more responsible “The way our children build resilience is through adversity with the right amount of support from us” Not burdening our teens with our feelings The excitement & hopes we have for our adolescents and the grief & anxiety we have when they leave How to respond (and how not to respond) when your adolescent reaches out to you in distress We’re not launching full formed adults - we’re launching baby adults who will keep learning & developing For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This show was a no-brainer to reshare with you all. When I recorded it, I was so fired up, and had our boys on the brain. So many of my clients and people in the community struggle with their boys. Not only struggling with their boys, but struggling to soften to the idea that the hard time the family is moving through is really a call for deeper relationship. Listen in to hear more – and don’t worry, no matter the gender your child identifies as, you will still find value in this conversation. For more info on our sponsors and show notes, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-460-get-past-your-resistance-and-focus-on-relationship-with-your-teen/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Katie Connolly, a Somatic Parenting Coach, teaches me a whole lot about our nervous system and somatic tools when she drops by this week. Katie explains how our nervous system and birthing experiences tie-in to our personal growth, who highly-sensitive people are & indicators, and why we’re able to better navigate experiences and stay connected in our bodies when we nourish our nervous system. We hit on so much this week: breathing exercises, meditation, scheduling-in time for ourselves, overstimulation, trauma, adoption, boundaries, co-regulation, and more. Katie ends by sharing specific tools and breathing patterns to try out at home. Takeaways from the show Understanding & supporting our nervous system and how that fits in with self-growth Traumatic birthing experiences Sympathetic nervous system versus parasympathetic nervous system Each parent-child relationship is completely unique Highly-sensitive people & indicators Everyone has trauma in their lineage Different breathing exercises & patterns Short meditations Nourishing & making time for yourself realistically Co-regulation & the family nervous system For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This summer throwback revisits how parenting teens keeps coming back to owning our own sh@t. This is the juicy spot. This is where the real transformational space of parenting exists. This is where we get to nurture AN ENVIRONMENT that is safe for our kids to step into. This is where we can start to dismantle the walls that have been built over time and make room for connection. Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-434-navigating-challenges-while-having-faith-in-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Alex Edmans, and we’re hitting a super important topic this week: how to discuss fake news and social media with our teens. Alex starts by explaining the difference between Level 1 and Level 2 of Fake News, and I ask what to do (and why) our teens bring up conspiracy theories. I ask Alex how we can nurture adolescents to fine tune their questioning, look for expertise, and teach them to look for peoples’ incentives while they’re consuming social media without making them feel defensive. Later we talk about sextortion. How can we keep our teens from falling for scams, when their teenage brains are certain they’d never fall for one? Alex ends on a happy, hopeful note and shares an easy strategy to challenge your own confirmation biases. Takeaways from the show Level 1 fake news (provably false statements) versus Level 2 fake news (factually correct but misleading) What to say when our teens bring up conspiracy theories Why do people share fake news? Teaching teens to be discerning & leverage their own knowledge Asking yourself: What is the incentive this person has to post this? Are they an expert? Sextortion - anyone can be scammed online Teens absolutely must believe they can come to you in an “oh shit” moment How discerning are you on your social media? For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A powerful relisten!!! You have a great relationship with your teen and they are STILL getting into ALL the mischief? You aren't alone. In this episode, I tease this apart and remind you what the most important thing to consider is. See all the show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-424-when-it-feels-like-your-teen-is-holding-you-hostage/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Dr. Matt Zakreski, an expert on neurodivergency with an eclectic approach. Dr. Matt tells me about growing up as a twice-exceptional kid himself and what he’s seeing with the teens he works with now. I ask Dr. Matt what parents can do about the emotional intensity that comes with raising teens, especially neurodivergent teens. He reminds us that “emotions can’t be wrong,” and you know I loved it when Dr. Matt reminds us to get curious about our teen’s feelings. Dr. Matt brings up perfectionism and why we might see more rigidity & anxiety spike during stressful times. We dig into trapdoor perfectionism, how we can invite kids to accept coaching, help, & practice when they’re resistant, and handing over energetic responsibility. Takeaways from the show The Performance Cliff Asynchronous development & high emotional intensity Raising neurodivergent kids with neurotypical siblings Neurodivergent behavior versus typical teen behavior “Emotions can’t be wrong” You don’t have to understand to show up well 3 directions of perfectionism Should = could + shame Trapdoor perfectionism Validating our teens gives them permission to show up authentically as themselves Kids do as well as they can with the tools they have in that moment For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's summer throwback is another intimate exploration of what it means to be human WHILE raising teenagers. We are deep diving (yet again) into our own stuff. This week focusing on the limiting beliefs we may be holding that keeps our kids small, and the war between our two selves. Join me for some personal growth and discovery! Find all the shownotes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-386-limiting-beliefs-our-two-selves/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Dr. Bianca Busch, and we’re getting into the “failure to launch” or the stalling we see from some young adults. Dr. Busch shares what drew her to working with college students, and we talk about getting “cut off” from your child’s medical, mental health, and grade information once they turn 18. Dr. Busch shares the benefits of psychiatrists working with adolescents and parents in conjunction. I ask Dr. Busch what she sees when young adults and their parents feel stuck - anxiety, depression, mismatched expectations - there’s a lot playing in here, and it’s messy. Dr. Busch shares some tools, boundaries, & motivators, and I play with the idea of mismatched timelines. I ask what parents can do when they feel scared and what we can do when we recognize that our behaviors and beliefs are the problem and for signs that our adolescent might need more substantial help & support. We end on a happy note - celebrating our hard work in parenting, even when it doesn’t look exactly how we expected it to turn out. Takeaways from the show Getting cut off from medical & mental health information once your child turns 18 The acceleration & benefits of when psychiatrists are able to work with adolescents and their parents Is “failure to launch” a fair expression? Why are young adults stalled out? Mismatched expectations & goals between young adults & parents There’s no young adults who don’t want to launch; we have to discover what’s in their way When you know your child needs support, but they’re resistant The difference between “get your shit together” and a child whose safety is at risk Motivational interviewing & coming from a place of compassion Digging in and challenging our own beliefs and being open-minded to hearing our adolescents goals, ideas, & plans Signs your young adult might need additional outside support Give yourself grace! Celebrate the parenting work you have done! For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This throwback solo show takes a closer look at how parenting with Positive Discipline does NOT equal avoiding the hard stuff, instead, it is about leaning into relationship WHEN the hard stuff shows up. Being brave is something we are invited into over and over again as we parent through the seasons of adolescence. Listen in as I explore what that looks like internally, as well as externally. Find more show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-361-finding-courage-parent-teens-differently/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s a tough topic this week - parental grief. Sascha Demerjian is here from The Grief House and beautifully intertwines personal stories with information. We don’t only grieve for people that we’ve lost. Sascha explains that we also grieve for expectations, narratives, & ideas - sometimes beliefs we didn’t even realize we were holding. We talk about how meaningful it is to have somewhere safe for the messiness of grieving and how we can resist wanting to jump in and fix things when others are hurting. It comes back to trusting the process. Remember that when our adolescents “launch,” they aren’t done growing & learning - they keep growing all through adulthood, just like we do. Grief doesn’t end, but bringing it to light & sharing with a community makes a big difference. Takeaways from the show We get to witness our teens’ stories & narratives, not create them Letting go of some beliefs in favor of a better relationship We grieve for ideas & expectations, not just people we lose Holding deep faith & trust that our adolescent’s lives are going to unfold just the way they are supposed to “Don’t make it worse” Working through your grief & worries with a therapist Enabling vs. empowering Grief doesn’t end Bringing things out to the light & the power of community For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's Throwback episode highlights shifting our thinking about how we are showing up for Gen Z and why this is crucial as we move through the adolescent years with our kids. I share three essential tools for making this shift in a way that strengthens relationship and provides space for our kids to discover who they’re meant to be. Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-357-radical-moves-for-parenting-gen-z/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Susie Pettit. Grab some popcorn for this one! Susie helps people with boundaries, codependency, emotional intelligence, and people-pleasing using a lifetime of experience, and today she’s here to talk about her awesome parenting tool. You know one of my favorite mantras is “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached.” We’re good at the fiercely committed part of parenting, but the detachment part is hard! It’s hard to be with our kids when tough things are happening to them, and the urge to rescue doesn’t go away, but we have to let them make mistakes & learn. I ask Susie when we cross the line from empathy to codependency, and we agree on how important it is to trust the process & believe that everything’s going to be alright. Takeaways from the show “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” Responding with empathy instead of codependency Mom guilt is a waste of brain power Detached means we respond differently, not that we don’t respond at all Doing things for our kids sends the message that we don’t think they can do it Empathy versus codependency “Popcorn parenting” Trusting the process Follow the “what if” all the way For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's throwback is a reminder that we get to show up for our teens in a way that is helpful, not hurtful. They are navigating all the things and they need to know that we see them, they need to be believed and to experience validation around what is real for them. For more show notes go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-329-being-with-whats-coming-up-for-your-teen/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Devorah Heitner is a new friend from The Zen Parenting Conference. I really appreciated what she had to say about doing more mentoring and less monitoring with our kids and their screens. This feels like a really hard time to be raising teens and dealing with all the tech. Cutting off access to technology isn’t reasonable, so how can we engage with our teens about how they use tech? How can we resist over-monitoring with school portals and Find my iPhone at our disposal? How can we teach teens self-regulation with their own screen time? Devorah shares ways we can help our adolescents notice how tech makes them feel so they can better self-regulate. She shares thoughts on the difference between a mistake and a chronic problem, seeing our kid’s posts, and what she’s hearing from teens about their experience right now. We discuss how we can make sure our kids know we’re really there for them when things go wrong, when kids want to be influencers, and how to manage it if we find our teens are doing harm online. Takeaways from the show Devorah’s New Book: “Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World” Technology is how teens connect with their friends and peers Sharing your own experiences online Tracking your teen’s location via their phone - more or less stress? Having conversations, not lectures Even though we know technology, our teens grew up with it in an entirely different way & they think we’re clueless It’s good that adolescents do brave, scary, & hard things (even when they scare us) - otherwise they’d never try anything Kids who want to be influencers, YouTubers, & go viral What to do if your kid is being harmed or harming others online Being open & curious about your teen’s world & resisting assumptions For more details, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back for another relisten - this is one I send to people regularly! Appreciating you tuning back in. And even if pot smoking isn't a challenge that is currently in your household, be sure that there are tons of nuggets in this episode for you to be taking away and integrate into your parenting. For full show notes and info about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-309-solo-show-paradox-parenting-pot-smoking/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is my returning friend, Yolanda Williams! We’re getting a little meta this week as we focus on what white parent educators can be doing better, but believe me, this episode is full of great content for all parents. After catching-up on how Yolanda, Parenting Decolonized, and her daughter are doing, Yolanda jumps in and explains who takes on the emotional, physical, and spiritual labor of what’s going on in our world and why it’s such a huge deal for white parent educators to choose silence in order to not offend their clients. The labor, racism, and speaking out about hot topics that parent educators who are people of color are doing take so much time and effort that white parent educators may not even think of. I get vulnerable with Yolanda and ask about what I can do when I feel uninformed and uncomfortable about topics that I know are important to call out (spoiler: you don’t need to have all the answers to start speaking out). I ask Yolanda specifically what I can do to make Joyful Courage a more equitable podcast & platform and what I can be teaching new, fresh parent educators. Takeaways from the show The roots of traditional parenting in our country is uncomfortable and rooted in racism, sexism, & capitalism What’s the responsibility of white parent educators around race? Where can we grow? What’s completely missing? Who is taking on the spiritual, physical, and emotional labor of what’s going on in the world right now? How can we weigh in and stand-up for people when we don’t know or understand enough information to feel confident about doing so? Asking yourself what you’re scared of that’s keeping you from speaking out? Sit with it, and do it anyway Centering what our most marginalized children need - everything that they need to be liberated will liberate us, too Using media as a starting point for these conversations For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Firmness tends to be challenging when we are focused on centering relationship with our kids... AND it is super important that we flex into connected firmness as we raise teens. Critical thinking, setting boundaries, health and well-being - these are all dependent on a certain level of firmness in our homes... Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-275-solo-show-how-does-firmness-show-up-for-you/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Mark Daley, and he’s here today to talk about all-things foster care. Mark shares the path that led to him writing his new book, “Safe,” gives us ideas on ways that people can help support foster kids, and explains what foster kids need. I bring up how scary it can be thinking about opening your home to a stranger and ask what upstream interventions are in place to improve the foster care system. Mark leaves us on a happy note when he brings up the amazing people he works with and a first step if you’re interested in learning more about fostering children. Takeaways from the show Hear about Mark’s new book, “Safe: A Memoir of Fatherhood, Foster Care, and the Risks We Take for Family” Why do people choose to foster? There’s a critical shortage of foster parents There are many ways to help foster children besides fostering “These aren’t bad kids; these are kids in a bad situation.” How and where can foster kids pick up the life skills they need to be successful? What’s a starting point if you’re interested in fostering or learning more about fostering? For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we get into how to tighten things up and find the same page with our teens during the long days of summer. I talk about being explicit with our communication, agreements, and the power of collaboration. Check it out! Find more show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-500-Finding-common-ground-during-the-summertime-with-your-teen/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is our returning friend, Ed Center. I kick off our conversation asking Ed what Pride month means to him, and he shares his thoughts: we want to celebrate our families, the history of our community, and acknowledge that we weren't always able to have these rights & privileges. It’s a celebration of family. I ask what we can do to get out of our bubble, and Ed shares simple, do-able ideas around how to talk to your kids and how to grow as a better advocate, while giving yourself grace. We dig into how not letting discomfort or not knowing the exactly right thing to do can stop us from helping others and why we have to lean into that discomfort. Takeaways from the show Pride month is an opportunity to share with our kids that they live in a family with a different arrangement than other families There are many family-friendly Pride events How do you talk to your kids? What’s your default language around family, class, race? Pushing assumptions and changing your language to expand your and your kids’ perspectives We have to stand up for all kids, not just our kids Pride month challenge: Find and reach out to or donate to small LGBTQIA+ communities & resources in a red state Be nice and stay grounded in love For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as I share about the layers of scaffolding that come with building a home environment steeped in Positive Discipline. Starting with a foundation of parental personal growth and development, and building on top of that by focusing on relationships, creating systems and routines so that everyone is on the same page, and finally, mutually respectful, in-the-moment tools. Join me and consider how you can bring your takeaways into YOUR home and YOUR relationship with YOUR adolescents. Find all show notes and information about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-498-building-the-house-of-positive-discipline-as-parents-of-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Elizabeth Brunner, the founder of StereoType Kids, a gender-inclusive fashion brand inspired by her boy/girl twins. Elizabeth shares her story, what gender-inclusivity means to her, and what blended fashion is. We talk on unlearning social norms & gender stereotypes, and I share a surprising story of a time this came up for me personally when Ian was young. Elizabeth shares the difference between how people react when her daughter dresses more traditionally-masculine versus when her son dresses in more traditionally-feminine clothes and how she coached her son to reply when someone tells him what he “can’t wear.” I bring up the dance between encouraging our daughters to express and wear whatever they want while still keeping them safe from dangerous people. Takeways from the show Get to know StereoType Kids, a gender-inclusive fashion brand What is gender-inclusivity? What is blended fashion? “We try to fit into society and society norms, and that’s not actually normal. We’re meant to be expressive.” Unlearning social norms We don’t realize all of our conditioning until we have to confront it Being curious about our responses to our child(ren) “Me is all I want to be.” Keep growing, keep being curious, & keep discovering new parts of yourself For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if everything is going to be fine? What if we decide to live in the uncertainty of parenting teens from a place of faith and possibility? How would that change right now for you? Join me this week as we explore the qualities that are driving us crazy as we parent our kids WHILE ALSO knowing these exact same qualities are going to serve them one day... Stretch your mind, grow your perspective, listen in. Check out all the show notes and more info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-496-fortune-telling-and-considering-that-our-teens-lives-are-unfolding-for-them/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guests today are Ed Center and Jaimie Kelton, and they’re answering questions from YOU! This is a juicy one - we get into how to react when your LGBTQIA+ teen comes out, whose news that is to share with others, and what to do when people who don’t treat our adolescent(s) the way we’d like (cue Mama Bear). The latter half of the episode gets into online safety & pornography, the importance of knowing queer role models in real life, using TV & books as teaching tools, and talking about sex with our queer kids. Takeaways from the show What’s the preferred and most up-to-date language and acronym? Do we say queer? What can straight parents do to best support their questioning or queer teen? Coming out stories and reactions - whose news is this to share? Coming out is an ongoing process. It is hard & scary! We all hold internalized homophobia How do we handle family or friends who don’t support our queer teen? “Choose love, choose love, choose love.” Online safety The importance of knowing real-life queer role models Sex-ed & sex talks with our queer kids Consent versus enthusiastic consent For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me today and consider how we can better be with the unfolding. So many in the Joyful Courage community are moving through big things with their adolescents right now - end of school year, transition into summer, teen risk taking, having a tough time with relationship - it is all real and relevent. AND, what if the contrast and discomfort we're feeling is an indicator that we can expand our mindset and try and see things in a new way? For show notes and info about sponsors, go to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-494-having-faith-when-we-feel-out-of-control/ Join the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is my dear friend and the cofounder & managing director at Sproutable, Alanna Beebe! You’ll recognize Alanna from the Art of Connected Parenting series we did earlier this year. I’m so excited that Alanna is here to kick off Pride! Alanna is an amazing parent, and she’s here to share some of her child’s gender journey with us. Alanna’s child, was born male, transitioned to female around age 3, and more recently has transitioned to nonbinary. I have so many questions for Alanna, and although her child is still an elementary-schooler, we can still learn from so much Alanna does and how she holds space for her own child. I ask how a 3 or 4 year old knows their gender, what going through this process was like for her as a mother, and where her fears & hopes are. We hit on a lot this week: inclusive conversations & language, the political aspects that play in, how to best support your kiddo when unkind or unsafe things happen, how to make sure your message of love is getting through, using gender-neutral language, and how it looks differently supporting transgender teens versus transgender children. Takeaways from the show Alanna shares her child’s gender journey with us “Our kids can’t be in the world what they can’t see.” What age do kids start to notice and identify with a gender? What comes up for us as adults when we see our child(ren) questioning or transitioning their gender? How do we have those constant, hard conversations around gender? Making home a safe, loving place to come back to - as a parent, you are their safe space How to stop yourself from future tripping (spoiler: it comes back to teaching those life skills!) “All you have to do is love and accept the kid that’s in front of you.” Transitioning is not rebelling! What happens when we pushback? What happens when we give them space? Supporting transgender teens & adolescents (even when we’re feeling fearful & unsure) For more details, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alright... We are going a bit sideways today. Or are we? Maybe we are going in the perfect direction... You'll have to let me know. I am sharing about our personal practice of dropping in with what is real and relevant for me as I work to drop into the present moment and be who I need to be for myself and others. Having a practice is what keeps me focused in on what matters most to me, it helps me to keep my inner compass pointed in the direction I live towards... We get a bit woo woo this week but I trust you to hear the takeaways you need. Find more about the episode and sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-492-exploring-inspiration-and-soul-care-on-the-journey-of-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guests today are Maren Goerss and Angela Sizer - two former school teachers who both chose homeschooling for their families (and created an awesome podcast & book about it!). We get right into it today, jumping into collaborating with your teen around their learning, lasting effects to the homeschool community post-Covid, and what to do if you don’t mesh well with the homeschool community in your area. We hit on a lot during this episode: school refusal, “optimally” scheduled days, trusting our children to know what’s best for them, disinterested (discouraged) learners, who teens are earning their grades for, leaning into your strengths as a parent and home educator, and saying no to things that don’t matter to your family. We wrap up this week on homeschooling our kids with learning differences or who are neurodivergent. Check out Maren and Angela’s new book, “Think Differently about Learning,” to dig in even further to Homeschool Unrefined! Takeaways from the show Collaborating with your child on their education Finding community for homeschooled teens Asking kids for their opinion Homeschooling shifts post-Covid What can you do when you don’t mesh well with the homeschooling community in your area? “Think Differently about Learning” book Children deserve to be trusted & deserve authority over their choices What can we do with our disinterested (discouraged) teens? Grades - who & what are they for? Leaning into your strengths as a teacher Homeschooling kids with neurodivergence or learning differences Accepting our teens (and making sure they know it) For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Drop in with me to explore what it takes to be with the ebb and flow of the season of parenting teens and tweens. It isn't for the faint of heart and it absolutely requires our development of self awareness, reflection and endurance. We have the power to shift how we are experiencing the challenges that are showing up with our young people if we are willing to go there. Listen to this episode for inspiration on the HOW. Find show notes and info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-490-endurance-personal-growth-and-intersecting-with-our-adolescents-experience Join the discussion in the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Dr. Jenn Noble, and she’s here to talk about adolescent identity development and support us all in broadening our lens around the experience of mixed race kids and families. Dr. Jenn helps parents to see who their kids really are and helps teens express who they are to their parents. We all know teen identity development is a total rollercoaster! On one hand, we know our adolescents are growing up, but we sure like to hang onto who they were as children. Their experiences and perspectives are real, but they’re often dismissed. As we dig into adolescent identity development, and Dr. Jenn reminds us that part of a teen’s job is to explore things, try things out, and push back with a safe place to land. I ask Dr. Jenn what parents can do to invite your teens to talk to you, how adolescents can read our agendas (even when we think we’re being open-minded!), and how this plays out differently in mixed race households. Takeaways from the show What should parents know about adolescent identity development? Broadening our lens around the experience of mixed race kids and families Seeing your kid for who they are - how do we really get to know & see them? Negative stereotypes around teens Teens need to try & explore new things with a safe place to land What makes adolescents feel open to talking and sharing more with parents Code switching (cognitive flexibility) Teens are seeking groups and are very sensitive to rejection How can we best show up for mixed race teens? Authentically affirming & complimenting teens’ experiences For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As our teens continue to get older, our role in relationship with them changes. It is hard to know where to lean in and where to let go. The good news is there is no "right way" to parent through the second half of the teen years and beyond - instead, we get to become ever better at intuiting what it is our young people need. During this episode, I go through the different eras of later adolescence and offer my thoughts on useful ways of showing up. Can't wait to hear what you think! Find all the show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-488-thoughts-about-parenting-our-older-teens-and-baby-adults/ Join the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited about my guest today - Alyse Levine! We have one of the foremost college counseling experts in the country here today sharing her wisdom and tips to help adolescents fulfill their college goals & dreams. Alyse shares why she’s so passionate about college admissions & working with young people, and I ask what was surprising for her when going through the college admissions process with her own kiddo recently. We dig into all-things admissions related: testing, grades, college essays, rescinded offers, and virtual opportunities & internships. I ask Alyse what teens should be doing during the summer and how to discern good opportunities & programs, and we wrap up this week talking about setting expectations for our adolescents and how motivating it is when people are learning something they’re excited about. Key Takeaways from the show Why work with a college admissions specialist or counselor? FAFSA, Merit Money, & scholarships How has grading changed since we were in school? Colleges rescinding offers College is a safe place to make some mistakes & grow resiliency What should teens be doing during summer breaks? Virtual internships & experiences What to look for in good summer programs & offerings Authenticity during the college admissions process The motivation that comes when we are learning things we’re excited about “There is a home and a college for everyone” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Surprise!!! My girl and podcast fave, Julietta Skoog, joins me today on a special Thursday show where we come down off of our high from leading our first ever Sproutable Retreat on the gorgeous California Coast. We talk about the highlights from the weekend as well as the power of parenting in community, creating time and structure for our own self-care, and shared a few funny stories... Listen in and let me know what you think. Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors here: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-486-The-beauty-of-parenting-in-community-with-Julietta-Skoog Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guests today are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral. Jaya and Priya have a lot in common, including being the co-authors of their new book, “Parenting at the Intersections.” This is a deeply emotional topic for them, both personally and professionally. Many people are discussing the experience of neurodivergence, and many people are discussing being a person of color, but where are the resources for neurodivergent people of color? Jaya and Priya have so much wisdom to share, from asking for what your child needs until they get it, what people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know, and why & how to be there for all kids, not just your kid. We dig deep into how we can expand our definition of what’s “normal,” so that we can be less judgmental, especially when there are systems in place working against that, and how hard it can be for adolescents to find their strengths when we are so focused on deficits. Takeaways from the show How do you hold the feedback about your child from their school? How do you make it work when public school is the only option? Asking for what you or your child(ren) needs until you get it Checking your biases What do people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know? Being curious, empathetic, & compassionate Being in it for all kids, not just your kid Expanding our definition of “normal” so we can be less judgmental Moving away from neurotypical expectations, narratives, & timelines Holding that space for our child(ren) when they show up differently For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ooh, I have some fun during this week's solo show... If I could go back to parenting my kids through middle school I would take my own advice and do it differently. The beauty of hindsight. Lucky for YOU I am sharing all of my thoughts around parenting during middle school years today on the show! Find the full show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-484-the-real-work-of-parenting-during-the-middle-school-years Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My friend Douglas Haddad is here this week to chat about all things middle school, with a focus on encouraging discouraged learners. Douglas has been teaching for over 24 years (at ONE school!), and I love his commitment to his students. Douglas shares what he’s seen changing during that period, like higher anxiety & social media misuse, and what’s stayed the same, like a child’s need to feel loved, heard, and understood. Douglas shares his wisdom on keeping middle schoolers encouraged & engaged: making sure they understand the systems in place around them, how we can help when our kid isn’t connecting with a teacher, collaborating on family agreements, and helping our tweens grow their tolerance for discomfort. Takeaways from the show What’s different between middle school today & when you were a tween? “Loved, heard, and understood” What does discouragement look like in the classroom? Wait Until 8th Pledge Does your child know & understand the systems in place around them? How to help foster connection between your child & their teachers Family contracts, charters, agreements, & meetings Being available without an agenda or judgment Setting & celebrating small goals Scaffolding for our kiddos to grow their tolerance for discomfort For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is so easy, when we aren't paying attention, to let our minds slide into all the worst-case scenarios, the worst possible outcomes, "dead in a ditch." I know, I've been there, and it ISN'T USEFUL. It isn't an empowered or encouraged parenting mindset during the teen years. So how do we shift?? Listen to this episode and find out! Get more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-482-Shifting-from-worst-case-scenarios-to-trusting-process-teens/ Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy & Christy are back for part 2 of our conversation, and we’re talking about pornography. Please believe us: your kid is going to see porn. Some families are more aware & ready for this moment than others, so what can you do and say to prepare? You can’t prevent the exposure or know how your child will react, but we can get ready for it and start the conversation now. Pornography is all over the place and often hidden, and unfortunately kids view that as Sex Ed & think that pornography is what sex with a partner will be like for them - they assume that hardcore porn is real life. Seeing these images train their brain; watching porn today is very different from running into an issue of Playboy when we were kids, and it’s impossible to avoid. So what do we say to our kids? What’s the magic word? Christy shares the way she uses values to talk to her teen, and Amy explains how to keep the conversation around other kids to break through to your own teen. We touch on monitoring software & sugar dating. The good news here is that there are many resources available for families to use, and it can get better. Takeaways from the show Your kids will see pornography Pornography is different than when you were a kid Kids often keep it a secret if they see pornographic material. Let them know they won’t be in trouble! Pornography is often in hidden, unexpected spaces Kids see pornography as Sex Ed Pornography trains their growing brain - including the themes of misogyny, racism, & shame around their bodies Don’t tell yourself, “it won’t happen to my kid” Porn is harder to avoid today than it was to find in the ‘80s What do we say to our kids about this? Conversations about pornography need to start early - earlier than you think! Keep them short & frequent Using monitoring software For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we are going deep into examining the beliefs we hold about our kids and how they might actually be what is getting in the way and creating the suffering we are experiencing. I know, seems like an easy fix, right? We may not be able to control our kids (truly, we can't) but what we BELIEVE about them is for sure a part of our influence AND for SURE impacts how we EXPERIENCE them. Listen in and let me know what you think. Find more about our sponsors and full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-480-power-of-examining-beliefs-we-hold-about-our-teens-and-tweens/ Jump into the FB group discussion at https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1604661457038309/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is my good, local friend - Cindy Palmer. Cindy’s here to talk about executive functioning in kids with neurodivergence, especially during the transition to college. High School is a time that is typically incredibly structured, down to the minute, and the transition to college is tricky for all adolescents. What do we do when it feels like our kids aren’t ready? How can parents help scaffold that transition? Especially for kids with neurodivergence? Cindy shares lots of strategies and ideas around supporting our adolescents during this tricky time - getting curious & compassionate, not holding a certain view on what things “should” look like, and what kind of bumps slow down (or stop) our kiddos from getting their work done. I ask Cindy what we can be doing in the middle & high school years to help with the transition (spoiler: it’s lots of practice & baby steps) and we talk about how important grades actually are. We get into what we can hand over to our kids right now (how about waking themselves up in the morning?) and why we want to practice these life skills in middle school, not the first week of college. We wrap up touching on adjusting our expectations for how older kiddos contribute to the family (and how we can use these as opportunities to teach life skills). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You and me and enthusiastic curiosity - WOOHOO! It may sound crazy but when we can really connect with the experience we are having while navigating our kids' mischief, regulate, and shift into curiosity, there is space for much deeper connection and learning for all. Truly. Listen to this show for tips on all the things - and let me know what you think! For show notes and more info on our sponsors, head to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-478-Meeting-misbehavior-with-enthusiastic-curiosity/ To chime in on your take-aways, join the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1600103267494128/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am SO glad you’re here this week for my second chat with Emily Cherkin, AKA The Screentime Consultant. We start by talking about what Emily’s been seeing & dealing with lately: managing screentime at home, reigning screentime in after Covid struggles, and kids having more access to tech at younger ages than ever before. It’s obvious that parents are really trying to figure out how to set screentime limits that actually work without isolating our kids from their social network or hindering their schoolwork. We also get into screens & tech in the bedroom & our hypocrisy on expectations around screentime. After catching up on all of that, we dig into AI - what AI is, how quickly it’s changing, & the lack of transparency and understanding around AI. Emily shares her TLDR around all tech: “less is more, later is better, & relationships first.” Emily and I ponder on what parents can do when they want their kids to have a phone for emergencies, and she shares what her two questions for parents are around screentime. Key Takeaways How do we set screentime limits that actually work and are helpful?! Tech use is all about balance Managing screentime at home Reigning in screentime after Covid Screens & electronics in bedrooms What is AI? “Less is more, later is better, & relationships first” How adolescents having phones helps & exacerbates parental stressors Do you know what your kid is doing on their device? You have the tools you need to manage this! For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there - back again with thoughts on Monday's episode and prompting us all to have a broader perspective than just the one that lives in our heads. Our relationships depend on our willingness to consider how where we are coming from is getting in the way of what we ultimately want to create. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this! For more show notes and info on our sponsors go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-476-Being-right-downside-comparing-our-experience-others/ To share your takeaways to the prompts in the FB Group, go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1596414907862964/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Aaron Steinberg. Aaron is super passionate about equipping couples with the tools they need for the challenges of parenthood. The good news is that these challenges are universal, and we can make changes in our relationships. Aaron and I get into a whole lot in our conversation: family meetings, offering & receiving feedback from a spouse, and how to talk to your spouse when you’re the one with the new tools & ideas to try. I love Aaron’s framing of being “somewhat right” and why the objective truth doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I ask Aaron what he thinks about ambivalence showing up in a long-term relationship and what realistic expectations are in a long marriage. Takeaways from the show: Parenting brings up all kinds of things from our past & can make us feel incompatible with our partner Sometimes our needs are seemingly incompatible with our partner’s needs Relationships are constant practice Family meetings Offering feedback kindly & receiving feedback openly Separating feelings problems from action problems Erasing competitiveness from problems Being “somewhat right” Ambivalence in a long relationship Checking your vision of marriage For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Inspired by Monday's show and a post for the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group, today is an exploration of the experience and considerations when you find yourself parenting with someone who doesn't align with your style of parenting. Share your takeaways in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group by clicking here. Check out the full show notes and links about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-474-when-we-dont-align-with-our-partners-parenting-style/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Carol Szuky. Carol is on the show today because she feels called to talk about the narcissistic abuse she navigated with her children for most of their lives. Carol shares the story of meeting and marrying her narcissistic husband and the two big indicators that let her know the relationship was no longer healthy or working. I ask Carol to define narcissism from her experience and how/when she planned to leave, then she shares the conversation & surprising twist that opened her husband up to listening, feeling, and changing. Takeways from the show What is narcissism? What does it look like? Where does narcissism come from? Indicators that your relationship is not healthy Tools & therapies that can help narcissists and victims How people react to the narcissism diagnosis Co-parenting with a narcissist Holding integrity, knowing your worth, & keeping your boundaries For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm back with a brand new solo show, channeling wisdom and empowerment. Today I am reflecting on a workplace training experience and will emphasize the importance of nurturing relationships with teenagers amidst their complexities and challenges. I share insights on fostering understanding, transparency, and connection with teens, urging you all to navigate the wonkiness of adolescence with curiosity and presence. See more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-472-The-wobble-of-centering-relationship-and-curiosity-with-our-teens/ Share your takeaways in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group - click here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices