Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

My guest today is Michael Jacobus, and we’re talking about unhealthy screen time, social media overuse, gaming addiction, and his Reset Summer Camp program. Michael shares how his own son becoming addicted to video games and the lack of help & programs available inspired him to create Reset Summer Camp. We, as parents, did not know the Pandora’s Box we were opening when we first brought technology and social media into our homes. We end up feeling guilty and don’t know what to do. How and why would we? None of this was available when we were teens! Michael posits that over half of the teens in the US have an issue with screen time, and he shares some recommendations for screen time at home (including when you get big, emotional reactions to new limits). I ask Michael how to first open up this conversation with your teen, how to best roll out social media to younger teens, and we wrap up agreeing that screen time usage is an issue that is truly universal and in every home. Takeaways from the show Gaming disorder is a real, diagnosable condition Parents typically don’t know what to do about gaming disorder and other screen time addictions Technology addiction or screen time addiction is a family problem How do you differentiate between typical teen behavior and serious overuse of technology? Checking your own screen time usage Recommendations for screen time at home The importance of good sleep How to roll out social media to a young teen Screen time is an issue in every household For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am taking us back to the core concepts of PD. For some of you, it will be a review, for others, it will be no - no matter, this show is sure to take EVERYONE deeper in their thinking about how we be in relationships with our kids as they move through the season of adolescence. For more show notes and sponsor info click here. To jump into the FB Group and share your takeaways, click here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This is the last episode of this limited series, and we’re excited to talk about leaning into perseverance. Parenting is messy! We’ve got to keep our growth mindset and get into the thick of it to build grit, resilience, and to evolve as parents. Get in the ring with these kiddos. Engage! We’re not going to get it exactly right; it’s going to be messy, and that’s part of the work. So often, we just want to get back to comfort, and we use our easiest tools without a pause to see what the situation really called for. Kids need for us to be in discomfort with them, not fix it for them! Alanna explains what mirror neurons are, where our empathy comes from, and why it’s so hard for us when our child(ren) are losing it. Casey digs into how our own history and inner-child affects our parenting, and Julietta shares what signals we need to keep our eyes open for. We often talk about fostering a growth mindset in our children, but how do we lean into a grown mindset when it comes to our parenting style? This is real neuroscience, and everyone can grow and change. What do you do when something doesn’t work? What can you learn in those tough moments and the parenting mistakes? You are capable of this! We wrap the Founders Series with a metaphor that we started with - how do we set our kids up for adulthood with a U-Haul full of tools instead of a U-Haul full of trauma? Kids don’t have to learn from painful experiences. We can teach life skills in a way that sets our child(ren) up with a loving, encouraging inner voice. We can be grateful for what we learned from our parents and still choose to parent differently. Takeaways from the show: Leaning into perseverance Fine tuning our inner listening What does this moment actually need? Being uncomfortable with your child Truly accepting your kids starts with acceptance of yourself Mirror neurons & empathy Growth mindset Staying hopeful “We choose the challenge.” Assuming positive intent, explaining intention, and collaborating with your child “You get to choose what’s hard.” Setting our kids up with a U-Haul of tools, not a U-Haul of trauma Gratitude for the lessons your parents taught you (and choosing to parent differently) There’s never been a better time for a parenting revolution, and we’re gaining momentum & resources Dignity & respect for all Sproutable’s mission statement For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am attempting to have a conversation with listeners about the messiness being in relationship with our adolescents relationship with their screens. I know. It's so much - so annoying and not going anywhere and impossible and all the things. Or maybe you have it handled, if so shoot me a message and teach me your wisdom. If you have a tween or a teen, my guess is that you have some opinions on this whole thing - listen in to today's show to hear my take. For more shownotes and info about sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-468-Teens-tweens-and-screens To check out the Teens and Screens mini summit, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/teens/positive-discipline-course-online/teens-screens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about when we’re doing all “the right” parenting moves, but we’re STILL having challenges. Spoiler alert: the challenges will change, but there will always be challenges. What we can change is how we handle, experience, & grow through those challenges. ALL families and ALL children bring challenges - it’s typical, it’s normal, it’s developmental. Julietta explains what the Continuum of Change is and why conscious parenting takes so much time, effort, & intention. It’s not easy! Julietta shares a detailed recounting of helping one of her children through a serious phobia and why she always has a dog treat in her pocket! We get into the importance of family meetings, helping children through anxiety, and how and when to hand the reins over to children to solve their problems. Casey shares a story about her son, and how we get to keep practicing these skills with our older children. We wrap today with a lovely quote from Maya Angelou and an invitation to envision showing up in a different way. The only thing you can control is how you show up. Join us next week for the last episode in the Founder Series and a deep dive into perseverance for the long term. Takeaways from the show Challenges change, but they will always be there “Magic 8” What is useful? What is helpful? Understanding where your child is developmentally Being firm without being harmful The Continuum of Change Family Meetings When and how to know when to let your child lead Slice it thinner: What do you want? What’s your plan? Trusting your child(ren)’s gifts & skills Intrinsic motivation & practicing skills in the safety of home They’ve got it! And if they don’t, they will figure it out! “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” “This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before.” - Maya Angelou For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back again on the ride of the messiness of humaning. This week I am all of the place and talk about all the things that are showing up with parents who are just stepping into this work of parenting teens differently, about the ever evolving relationships we have with ourselves and the people in our life, and even a little bit of Buddhism woven in... Check it out! You can find all the show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-466-Consciously-practicing-connection-curiosity-and-presence-with-ourselves-and-others/ Join the FB Group conversation by clicking here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about goals & intentionality. Now that we’ve had a chance in the series to talk about our own parenting stories, touched on what’s going on with the fear, shame, & guilt that we all feel, and shared some tips for being okay with the messiness of parenting, now we can dig into being intentional and defining our parenting goals. There’s lots we can do to control kids - yes, punishment can work short term. But we want to do better than that - we want to be intentional, conscious parents. We have to step back and ask, “Why are we doing this? What’s my goal here? What’s my long-term intention? What do I want to bring to life in this interaction?” It all comes back to teaching and skill-building. Takeaways from the show Clarifying what your goal is Discipline means to teach We can’t control outcomes, but we can be intentional in our actions & what we bring to the dynamic “What does this moment need?” Sometimes we’re the ones in the way of what needs to be taught Willingness lives inside of intentionality Creating a family charter This is a long-term game - no quick fixes in parenting What about when our parenting partner or village have different goals than we do? You’re not the only person who will teach your child Experiences are how kids grow For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back again with another solo show inspired by a member of the Living Joyful Courage membership group and her request for something about adolescents and dating. 😳 It's one of the many exciting and terrifying age appropriate areas of exploration and discovery for our kiddos - and we get to show up in a way that encourages their critical thinking and growth. This show gets into that. Mentioned during the show was the Sex Ed for Parents of Teens mini summit. Click here for info. Share your thoughts in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group. Find more show notes and info about our sponsors here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about shifting our perspective & embracing imperfection so we can learn and grow as parents and humans. Embracing the challenges is hard! When we have our compass of understanding development & trusting connection, we can move away from the shame & guilt we talked about last week. Find all the show notes and links mentioned, as well as info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-463-perspective-and-imperfection-the-art-of-connected-parenting-part-3/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week on a journey to discovering our teens strengths. This is the glue that will keep your teen's team together. What they need most from us is to be seen and celebrated for who they are. They need their adults to recognize and mirror their strengths. Listen in for more! Find more show notes and info from our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-462-Being-explicit-with-finding-and-naming-our-teens-strengths/ Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This week, we’re talking about guilt, shame, and self-doubt. All parents feel guilt, shame, and self-doubt about aspects of their parenting, even us as ‘experts’ - especially us! Today, all three of us are sharing stories of times we’ve felt (or still feel) guilt, shame, and self-doubt around our parenting. Parenting is a place where those hard feelings often pop up. There are a lot of layers to this, and the power of hindsight can leave us feeling regretful about things we did or didn’t do. What do we do with these crappy feelings? What can we do in the moment when we feel shame creeping up on us? Takeaways from the show All parents feel guilt, shame, and self-doubt sometimes The power of hindsight Digging deeper to examine your values Society’s “supposed to’s” “It’s much easier for me to see my child be different and make waves, but it’s much harder for me to be different and make waves.” Parenting is a journey with lots of opportunities to keep practicing The way our kid’s behavior reflects on us Accepting and advocating for our children for who they are Why we like getting calls from school Leaving room for kids to have their own perspective “Tell me more” Why we avoid labeling our kids Doubting your parenting intuition Finding the answers for your self-doubt Moving from stopping behaviors to building missing skills Worthiness & value are innate For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So I am fired up this week and I have our boys on the brain. So many of my clients and people in the community are struggling with their boys. Not only struggling with their boys, but struggling to soften to the idea that their boys are having a hard time and really need a deeper relationship with their parents most. Listen in to hear more - and don't worry, if you have a daughter you will still find value in this conversation! For complete show notes and info about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-460-Get-past-your-resistance-and-focus-on-relationship-with-your-teen/ To share your thoughts in the FB Group, click here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. Why do we show up, even when it’s hard & stressful? We dig deeper into the meaning behind the connected parenting movement (aka conscious parenting, positive discipline, gentle parenting, positive parenting). When we are intentional about our parenting, it’s an opportunity for personal evolution as well as a cultural revolution. In this first episode of the series, we share stores from our own childhood experiences. We all have residual effects of the ways we were parented. How can we show up differently as parents? We’re not going for picture perfect Instagram parenting here - we’re getting real and digging into the messy moments. The second half of this episode is all about reparenting. What is reparenting? Is it just another buzzword? We find that all 3 of us have different definitions but end up at the same place: healing your inner child & showing up differently for your own kids. We’re all growing and evolving. We’re here to help people! We change the lives of children & families for the better, and that’s what drives us. Join us next week when we’re back to talk about guilt, shame, & self-doubt. Takeaways from the show Introducing the founders of Sproutable Exploring positive parenting, gentle parenting, conscious parenting, positive discipline The ways your childhood could affect how you show-up in relationships as an adult Being the parent you want to be Acknowledging our privilege & blindspots We all make mistakes & lose it sometimes - it’s how you repair that matters What “reparenting” means to each of us Healing your inner child There’s always room & time to change your trajectory Trusting your inner wisdom For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's solo show celebrates Brene Brown's invitation to have a strong back, a soft front and a wild heart as we move through the season of parenting adolescents. It is so important that we send the message of care, concern and acceptance to our teens, even as we don't love their behavior. It supports our teens to kow that we see them, and we value them, even as they are stumbling through this time of their life. Find full shownotes and info on our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-458-Distinguishing-between-our-teens-and-their-behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Luke Entrup is here today to talk about healthy rites-of-passage for our teen boys. Luke explains what rites-of-passage are, why they’re important for our teens, and what adolescents get out of these rites-of-passage: a healthy connection to themselves and to their community. We dig into how gender affects these rites-of-passage and how we can create spaces where all genders are celebrated. We touch on toxic masculinity and how we can redefine what masculinity is and means today. I ask Luke if he thinks teenage boys are as hesitant to open up as we think, and he shares what they do at his Father-Son Connection Experiences. We finish today talking about accepting and trusting the kid that you have. Takeaways from the show What are rites-of-passage? Rites-of-passage can be uncomfortable What do we get from these rites-of-passage? Does gender play into this? How can we expand those boxes? What is male identity today? In the future? Is masculinity toxic? How do we define what masculinity is today? “One eye in, one eye out” What to do if you’re feeling disconnected from your teen son Who can teens open up to, besides their parents? Accepting and trusting the kid that you have For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When does positivity and optimism get in the way of what our teens need? How can we be with what they are moving through in a way that is helpful and builds connection and trust in our relationship with them? Listen in to this weeks solo show and hear all about this topic! Find show notes and more info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-456-being-with-our-teens-experiences Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Talking with Kristen Duke, mentor to parents of teens, and full of enthusiasm for what we can create when we work on building a relationship founded on trust. Kristen guides us through some blind spots parents have that get int the way of a connection, and how to be the person our adolescents need. Find more show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-455-kristen-duke-helps-us-build-more-trust-with-our-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we get ever more focused on the interpersonal nature of raising teens. Where are we focusing our attention? What are we centering in our relationships? What might happen if we keep in mind our kids strengths even when things are going sideways? See all the show notes and more about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-454-Expanding-how-we-are-relating-to-our-teenagers/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Alexandra Ford, and we’re tackling a scary subject today. January is human trafficking prevention month, so I want to grow everyone’s awareness with Alexandra, and we’ll share ways to keep your kids safe. Alexandra kicks us off by explaining what human trafficking looks like in 2024 and how her own story inspires her to do this work. We try to articulate the difference between being sexually empowered and sexually exploited and the reality of the commercial sex industry. I ask Alexandra what she needed from her parents during her trafficking experience which spurs us to touch on teaching autonomy, consent, accessing help, & listening to your gut. We get into online safety and what to share and not share online (and what if you’ve already shared it?!) and how to safely introduce a device to your teen. Alexandra generously stays on a bit longer to share her wisdom on how we can make sure our teens really know they can come to us when they have a problem. Takeaways from the show What does domestic human trafficking look like in 2024? How do I make sure this never happens to my child(ren)? What’s the difference between being sexually empowered versus sexually exploited? Commercial sex industry Tangible online safety tips Creating an environment in which your kids know they can truly come to you & share anything “If your child has any online presence . . . it is not a matter of if a predator sees them, it’s a matter of when.” How to safely introduce a new device to an older child or adolescent - engage, engage, engage! Conversations in the car “When you make a mistake, which you will, I will walk with you through it and love you through it. We will find a way to the other side, whatever it is . . . I am here.” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week during this solo episode as we play with the concept of flexibility while parenting through the teen years. Where are you finding flexibility? How might flexibility serve your relationhip with your teen? What is getting in the way of flexibility? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Ed Center, and today we’re talking about how power shows up while parenting teens. Ed kicks off our conversation sharing how his childhood and parenting experience led him to finding Positive Discipline, and how & where cultural wisdom and cultural trauma affect our parenting. Ed and I talk about how hard it is to pause and access our Positive Discipline tools in the moment when you are pissed, and why those moments & gaps are so important. Ed brings it back to Alfred Adler’s belonging & significance, shares a reminder that teens are craving additional autonomy, power, & significance, and explains that negative attention is significance, too. We talk about Ed’s blog post & metaphor, “Your attention is the sun,” and we agree on the effectiveness of the “when, then, walk” strategy. Ed and I dig into what can stop positive parenting strategies from working and what threatens our connection with our kids (spoiler: screens aren’t helping!). Takeaways from the show Passing on cultural wisdom Not passing on cultural trauma How do we access our Positive Discipline strategies when we are pissed off!? Your kids can build new skills when they are feeling secure in their belonging & significance Teens who are secure in their belonging with you start seeking belonging from other sources Adolescents are craving additional autonomy, power, significance without accountability or repercussions “Negative attention is significance” “Your attention is the sun” metaphor & mantra When, then, & walk “Wisdom and love are slow” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You never know what is going to unfold while parenting teenagers... Listen to this podcast and consider how you can practice "warming up" to be ready to be your best self for the challenges that show up! Find show notes and more info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-450-Warming-up-for-the-twists-turns-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Nataly Kogan, and she’s here to talk about simple practices that can help us move from struggling to thriving. Nataly starts off today sharing her amazing story as a child immigrant and refugee and how that led her to the work she does today. Nataly and I discuss how we can juggle motivating our teens to be achievers without pushing themselves to burnout. We talk about Nataly’s “Awesome Human Journal,” her TEDx Talk, and how our inner-critics help, or don’t help, our parenting. Nataly shares her wisdom about self-talk, why we are so much kinder when we speak to others, and how self-compassion makes us better parents. Finally, I ask Nataly to introduce her five emotional fitness skills: acceptance, gratitude, self-care, intentional kindness & compassion, and finding the “bigger why.” Takeaways from the show How do we teach teens to be achievers without pushing themselves to burnout? Nataly’s “Awesome Human Journal” Quieting your self-criticism “Self-talk is not free” Self-compassion improves your ability to show-up at your best Making the decision to shift from struggling to thriving We are not here to suffer “Treating yourself like a friend” Emotional fitness skills “Earning” or “deserving” self-care & how much time self-care takes For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me in the final solo show of 2023 in an exploration of how to calibrate ourselves to be with life unfolding. We can't know what lies ahead, but we CAN tend to ourselves in a way that warms us up for the unexpected twists and turns of life, Listen in to learn how. Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-448-Practices-for-tending-to-ourselves-new-year/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Andrea Owen. Andrea and I connect over our love of coaching and keeping things real and authentic (and our matching ‘surrender’ tattoos!). Andrea shares what she’s working on with her own two teenagers right now, and I ask how we can shift our perspective to view parenting challenges as invitations instead of just focusing on problems. We talk about how we can trust that things will work out okay, and Andrea shares what questions she asks people to help them discover their values and why value work is important. We dig into how we don’t know the impacts of our parenting, how our kids experience it, or how we will all remember what happened. Lastly, I ask Andrea how she coaches parents to move into a more present way of being in their relationship. Takeaways from the show How our own teenage years impact our parenting Viewing challenges as invitations Trusting that things are going to be okay Defining your values: What’s important to you? What’s important about the way you live your life? Values change over time “Sending our kids to therapy with a carry-on bag, not a U-haul truck” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week in an exploration of how we have been holding boundaries and expectations and how we can get ever more explicit while communicating the boundaries and expectations with our kids. It's good. And messy. It's all the things and I invite you to jump into the arena with me! You can find more about the show, show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-446-Bringing-boundaries-expectations-to-life-while-parenting-teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Julietta Skoog! My sister from another mister, Julietta, is my colleague at Sproutable, and she’s here today to talk about firmness. Julietta starts by defining what firmness means (hint: it’s follow through, not being mean!), and we talk about how tone and confidence play into firmness. We get into “being strict,” taking time for training & giving kids independence, and supporting our teens who need new social experiences. Julietta shares her wisdom on leaning on relationship, connection, firmness when things get bigger with your kids and how to stay curious & collaborative. I ask Julietta what we can do if our relationship is feeling frayed, and share the power in saying, “I love you, and the answer is no.” I ask what we can do when our teenagers physically leave against our wishes and what to do when they return. Julietta and I talk about how messy & relentless being firm can be, then Jules shares an “aha” moment about the teen years, and we wrap up with some thoughts on how our own teen years influence us. Takeways from the show What is firmness? What does it look like? Sound like? Is firmness being mean? Firmness is the foundation for mutual respect Being a consistent parent “Mean what you say and say what you mean” Teens need new social experiences - how can we set them up for success? “I love you, and the answer is no.” What to do when your teen physically leaves (against your wishes) and what to do when they return The similarities between the toddler years & teen years Moving from regulation to relationship to reason Firmness takes practice! It can be uncomfortable. “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we get into how communication is looking with our teens and how to be better at listening and creating opportunities for win/wins. Communication is key for nurturing strong relationships - no doubt there are powerful nuggets to take away from this show! Go to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-444-Enhancing-Parent-Teen-Communication-as-Year-Ends/ for full show notes and information about our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Chad Dion Lassiter, and he’s here today to talk with me about how the holiday season can be a great time for parents to model the practice of tolerance, empathy and understanding their kids will need to be successful in our multicultural world. I ask Chad how we can prepare our kids emotionally for messiness with extended family during the holiday season, and he shares ideas on how we handle heavy conversations and how we set the tone of our home. I bring up the trickiness of when your core family unit feels one way, but the extended family feels differently, and good practices for parents who are advocating for their child. We talk about the hard conversations that arise during family get-togethers, how to “host like a diplomat,” being present, & seeing the beauty in all people. Takeaways from the show Families are cultural carriers The holidays as an opportunity to visit & connect with your adult children Winter holidays come with spoken & unspoken expectations How can we prepare our kids for the messiness of extended family gatherings? Encouraging our kids to participate in intergenerational conversations Advocating for your child when extended family has different beliefs How to “host like a diplomat” Families socialize us into being who we are What kids need “in their back pocket” for a holiday get-together Families can have a heated conversations while still holding truth, love, & kindness at the core Seeing the beauty in all people For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week is the first episode of an end of year wrap up. We are doing an inventory of past, present and future in the context of emotional intelligence development. EQ is EVERYTHING and this week I am not only defining what it is, but also sharing strategies for STRENGTHENING EQ, and how to encourage our teens to do the same. Listen in! Get full show notes and info on sponsors by heading to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/442-Developing-emotional-intelligence-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me and my good friends Amy Lang and Christy Keating as we dig into the trend of "sugar dating." Why do we care? Well, this is a growing trend on college campuses and it's important for parents to be informed and able to have conversations with their young adult children. Find more show notes and ad info at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/exploring-sugar-dating-amy-lang-christy-keating/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me for this week's solo show as we dig into the importance and power of doing our own work around self regulation. The teen years are NO JOKE and if you are parenting an adolescent you KNOW how hard it is to keep yourself calm and centered. I see you! Tune in for this conversation. Find more show notes and learn about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is Dr. Tasha Brown, and it is a good one for anyone loving and supporting dysregulated teens! Dr. Brown starts off today explaining how she found her way to working with children with significant behavioral problems, and I ask about accommodations and if people ever view accommodations as enabling. We get into how to handle low distress tolerance, high reactivity, big emotions, and oppositional defiant disorder in adolescents. I bring up why some kids are more emotional than others, and Dr. Brown explains how we can dig deeper into what’s going on. We talk about global trauma & creating safety in our relationship. Dr. Brown reminds us how hard it is to be a teenager and why we need to come in with patience & empathy. She also shares her advice on starting conversations in neutral, collaborating with your teen, discussing coping strategies, and paying attention to positive behaviors. We end with a broad strokes chat on understanding neurodiversity in your teen, especially ADHD, and if we should share our children’s diagnoses with them. Takeaways from the show What are accommodations? Are accommodations just enabling? Teaching teens to advocate for themselves Distress tolerance and reactivity Typical child development challenges versus oppositional defiant disorder Patience & empathy for our teens! Modeling regulation Prioritizing special time & connection Starting conversations neutrally & staying collaborative Discussing coping strategies with teens The more attention given to a behavior, the more the behavior will increase Understanding neurodiversity, especially ADHD in your teen Should we tell children about their diagnoses? For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week in an exploration of what it means to be present, and what becomes available in relationships when we choose into that practice. See more show notes at: http://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-438-power-presence-while-navigating-relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited to talk to my guest, Valerie Tih, today. Valerie starts by explaining what Enneagram types are, how Enneagram complements Positive Discipline, & why Enneagram types are useful when it comes to parenting. Valerie shares a bit about practicing presence and balancing your body, heart, & head. I ask how we can connect deeper with the teens we have and what to do when your Enneagram type is different from your child’s. We get into how to expand our relationship with our teen, how our ego plays in, and how & why we need to have faith in our adolescents. Takeaways from the show What is an Enneagram? Why & how does Enneagram complement Positive Discipline philosophy? “Stuff is going to happen; are we going to react or are we going to respond?” Practicing presence in your body, heart, & head Connecting deeper with the teen you have How to use presence to open a space for your teen to share Expanding your relationship with your teen Trusting that your teen will make it through adolescence For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we dive deeper into what "individuation" really means, and how parents can provide an optimal environment for their teens to move through this very developmentally appropriate process. Get full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-436-Creating-a-safe-space-for-our-teens-individuate Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Ciara Fanlo, and I loved every minute of our conversation! Ciara shares a detailed recounting of her own troubled teenage years and personal experiences with wilderness therapy and therapeutic boarding school. We talk about what does work well with wilderness therapy and the challenges of integrating back to real life after treatment. Ciara explains the difference between just functioning versus being emotionally well and resilient. I ask Ciara how she transitioned from these challenging teen years to now being a parenting coach & adolescent mentor, then Ciara shares her thoughts on how parents can get reluctant teens on board when they need help. We end by discussing self-harm as a coping skill, how parents can best broach the topic when their child is self-harming, and what teens wish their parents understood about it. Takeaways from the show Ciara’s journey from troubled teen to parenting coach & adolescent mentor Nature as a part of therapy & connection to mental health The pros & cons of wilderness therapy Integrating back to “real life” after treatment Being functional versus being emotionally well How to get resistant teens on board when they need help Teenage individuation & autonomy versus being who your parents want you to be Self-harm as a (poor) coping skill The importance of self-forgiveness For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's solo show is OUT - take some time to listen. I talk about a lot - including my thoughts about my interview with Ian from Monday - and what is on my mind based on the convos I am having with clients. It all keeps coming back to owning our own sh@t. This is the juicy spot. This is where the real transformational space of parenting exists. This is where we get to nurture AND ENVIRONMENT that is safe for our kids to step into. This is where we can start to dismantle the walls that have been built over time and make room for connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is my son, Ian O’Roarty, and he’s back to chat with me and dig into all the things happening as he moves through the fall of his senior year and looks ahead at the future. Ian shares his honest thoughts about turning 18, feeling like he’s wasting time at high school, and applying for college with a coach instead of with a parent. We discuss giving freedom & space to older teens so they can get some practice before they are off on their own. Ian shares what he does & doesn’t like about family meetings. We touch on tardies & missed classes, the collective teen brain & experience, and I ask Ian what older teens need from their parents (spoiler: it’s space to make their own mistakes). Takeaways from the show Ian’s thoughts on turning 18 and being a high school senior College applications & essays How a college admission coach helps Giving space to our almost-adult children Parenting “a year ahead” The difficulty of letting go Family Meetings with teens Navigating tardies & missed classes Giving older teens space to learn from mistakes Collective teen brain “Learn to let go and forgive and you’ll pass that trait on to your children” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as I dig deeper into the experience of transition - specifically a reflection of how we HAVE been moving through the transitions of life and ways to do it more intentionally. Find all of the show notes and links mentioned at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-432-Self-abandonment-embodiment-life-unfolding/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Lisa Boate. Such a great conversation with Lisa Boate on the podcast this week! We get into all the things that come up during empty nest season and the time time leading up to it. I know we have feels about this, friends. Lisa and I go there - AND we cover what it means to come back to ourselves so as to embrace what lies ahead from a place of empowerment and possibility. Check it out! Takeaways from the show Finding purpose and passion after children leave home Parenting, identity, and letting go Self-reflection and embodiment Self-abandonment and its impact on mental health Parenting, uncertainty, and boundaries Embracing change and finding joy in midlife For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week and explore shifting our focus from our teens behavior to what the actual pain points are for us (parents) as we witness them moving through hard things. Find the full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-430-reframing-the-pain-points-of-raising-teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Holly Swenson. Holly shares with us the framework from her book Stop, Drop, Grow, and Glow, helping parents assess their current state, drop any negative influences, and grow into their best selves. She encourages parents to take a deeper dive into their personal wellness journey by assessing their priorities, reflecting on their experiences, and dropping any trauma or drama that may be holding them back. Finally, she offers tips for parents struggling with losing themselves in their children's challenges and emphasizes the importance of finding joy and courage in parenting. Takeaways from the show Conscious parenting, wellness, and self-care Prioritizing self-care for busy parents Personal growth as a parent Parenting strategies for maintaining self-care during challenging times Finding joy in parenting For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Excited to be sharing this week's solo show all about the POWER OF PERCEPTION. This is HUGE when we are trying to make sense of what is happening with our teens. I take the listeners into some thoughts around our kids beliefs and decision making in the context of school and academics. I am so excited to hear about what you think! Find the full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-428-Considering-the-power-of-perception Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Natasha Nelsen and I am so honored to be in conversation with her today. Natasha breaks down sensory processing disorder, ADHD and other neurodiversity in adolescents and adults. She talks about how parents can support teens during this time of sensory overload, sensory seeking behavior, and executive function challenges. Natasha’s support & educational opportunities for black neurodiverse families and her deep understanding of sensory needs offers insights and understanding for all parents, caregivers and teachers who love and work with neurodiverse youth. If you aren’t already following SuperNova Momma, you should do so now. Natasha Nelsen is a gem and I am so honored to have her on my podcast this week. Takeaways from the show Parenting and education for black and neurodiverse families Sensory processing disorder in teenagers Sensory processing disorder and it’s impact on behavior and teen perception Sensory processing disorder and its relationship with other diagnoses. Teenage years and sensory overload Childhood trauma, sensory seeking, and excessive masturbation Sensory seeking behaviors in adolescents Parenting children with ADHD and autism with a focus on sensory issues and executive functioning challenges For more show notes, including trascripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The art of parenting is a constantly evolving journey filled with challenges, and one of the most important aspects is maintaining open and honest communication with your children. Recently, I stumbled upon a thought-provoking discussion on a podcast that delved into this very subject. Dax Shepard was interviewing Kerry Washington, and their conversation veered into the realm of parenting, children, and a profound question: "What if your teen came to you and confessed to trying a substance last night?" This question made me pause and reflect on the significance of fostering an environment where our children feel comfortable sharing their experiences and struggles. In thispodcast, we'll explore the concept of cultivating your observer and the art of responding thoughtfully to challenging situations with your teenagers. Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-426-cultivating-your-observer-navigating-tough-conversations-with-teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Brenda Zane is back this week! She was on this spring talking about how to be with teen substance abuse. We had SUCH an amazing response to that conversation that Brenda and I thought it would be helpful to have her back to talk about “what do you do” for specific scenarios around our teens and substances that leave us feeling in the dark. Today we discuss how to set healthy boundaries around teen substance abuse while still maintaining a connected relationship with our teens. Takeaways from the show Creating conditions for positive change in children, and the plant analogy. Why young people turn to substance use, including a desire to cope with emotional pain and shame. Setting boundaries around drug use The challenge of enforcing consequences The importance of addition over subtraction in facilitating change Have open and curious conversations with their teenagers about substance use, rather than resorting to shame or judgment The importance of building a positive relationship with children, focusing on mutual respect and influence rather than control or manipulation The "information sandwich" technique to discuss sensitive topics with teenagers How humor and modeling positive behavior are useful tools Focusing on boundaries and natural consequences, rather than reactive measures like drug testing and phone confiscation For more show notes including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You have a great relationship with your teen and they are STILL getting into ALL the mischeif? You aren't alone. This episode I am going to tease this apart and remind you what the most important thing to consider is. Find full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-424-when-it-feels-like-your-teen-is-holding-you-hostage Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alyssa Campbell is back this week! I am thrilled to have Alyssa here to chat about her new book, “Little People, Big Emotions” and her Collaborative Emotion Processing method. Alyssa explains what “safe to feel” means, how we can figure out which emotions in our kids make us uncomfortable & why, and explains that our adolescents have completely different tools & experiences than we did. I ask Alyssa how considering long-term goals for our teens can help our relationship, and we dig into why having a toolbox to get through the tough times is more important than just “being happy.” We discuss how important failure is for growth, enabling vs. empowering, and when we can reduce task demand when our teens are overwhelmed. Alyssa and I get into enabling versus collaborating, interdependence, and the importance of daily self-care. As we wrap up, I ask for tips for parents who are practicing their own emotional safety, keeping ownership over our own emotions, and normalizing the self-regulation journey. Takeaways from the show Emotional safety in your relationship with your teen Providing a safe space for children to express themselves without fear, judgment, or rejection Your adolescents have completely different experiences than you did Defining your long-term goals for your teen (is happiness the goal, or is having tools for hard times more important)? Keeping long-term goals top of mind Rescuing our kids versus letting them fail Age bias, expectations, and “you should know better” Reducing task demands when adolescents are overwhelmed Enabling versus collaborating; interdependence Daily, consistent self-care adds up Being mad, frustrated, and/or scared is not dysregulation Taking ownership of our own emotions For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me for this solo episode where I reflect on how our teens behavior is the response to how they are experiencing belonging and significance, as well as the ways OUR reaction to their brain development matters. You can find full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-422-making-sense-teens-behavior/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices