It's My Pleasure

Many of my current and potential clients come to me because something is wrong with their sex life and they aren’t having the mindblowing sex life they desire, and they think that if this one thing changes, everything will be better. I’m here to tell you that it’s never just one thing. It’s all of you. Accessing pleasure requires a whole system, and you need as many systems as possible turned on towards pleasure. In this episode, I share with you the different categories of areas that can be turned on toward pleasure, and how to check in with each category in order to access the mindblowing sex you seek. I also wanted to let you know that I have been working on a new website and a new free training! In order to get all the details, be sure to sign up for my mailing list for this training, as well as my other regular fun and sexy emails. Topics in this episodeWe don’t have to have everything in order to have great sex. But the more areas you incorporate, the more pleasure you will be able to access.Why it is that having an orgasm is not the goal of sex, and how your sex is affected if it isThe different categories in order to reach peak pleasure:Physical comfortSafetyThe connection between you and your partnerThe environment you’re inMental stateYou don’t have to have perfect conditions to have great sex, but taking care of those things will help you access to pleasureEverything that you can tweak is going to enhance your pleasureWays to create safety with yourself and your partnerGetting primed for pleasure

When we think about pleasure, it requires all of you to be on board. All parts of your brain, all parts of your body, and all of your thoughts. Today, we are talking about thoughts that can take us away from pleasure, specifically, thoughts about our partners. This is something that I hear all the time from women is that there is something that their partner is doing, or not doing, that is keeping them from finding their partner desireable. I want to share with you that it’s not actually about your partner, and what they’re doing, or not doing. It’s your thoughts about these things that shape how you feel about them. In this episode, I share how to shift your thoughts so that you can get back to sexual pleasure. Topics in this episode:The kinds of things your partner does that can get in the way of your pleasureYour partner is just being themselves, and you have thoughts about it. And then these thoughts create an emotional response.Making the decision to be turned on by themHow to start celebrating your partner: start with neutralYour partner gets to decide who and how they want to be, and you get to decide how you experience that behavior. What if the behavior doesn’t change? Will I be ok? Is this a deal-breaker? We choose our person, and then it’s our job to continue to put in the work to want them day in and day out.If you want a better sex life, you need to become aware of what exactly is keeping you from pleasure. This is what I help my clients with, helping them become aware and navigate thoughts through a specific and effective process. If you’re really ready to take these concepts that I talk about on this podcast and begin implementing them so that you can have results of mindblowing sex, then I encourage you to go to my website and fill out an application. We can begin right away. To find the application and learn more, go to http://daniellesavory.com/coaching

Today you get to listen to a conversation I got to have with the wonderful and marvelous Kara Loewntheil. She is a master certified coach with a BA from Yale and a JD from Harvard Law. In the last three years, after pivoting from her law career, she has grown her life coaching business to 7-figures. She hosts one of the top-rated self-help podcasts called UnF*ck Your Brain, https://unfuckyourbrain.com/podcasts/, which has been downloaded over 5 million times. She’s truly a fun and witty human that I enjoy talking to so much. In this episode, we discuss how to help feminist women create more confidence, of which sex is a huge part, especially in this day and age. We also talk about what has culturally influenced our views of sex and ultimately has created so many blocks to our pleasure. We share what it means to feel sexy so matter what, and how thought-work is key to better sex and so much more. Topics in this episodeWomen are taught that their sexuality is receptive or reflectiveThe problem with relying on somebody else for emotional validationWhat would it mean if you were walking down the street being sexy for yourself? Connecting to what it means to connect to being sexual by yourself The first step to finding desire just for you. Changing your conceptual frame and body image through thought work.Being in partnerships with different levels of libidos As always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this conversation with you. I highly recommend listening to Kara’s podcast, UnF*ck Your Brain. If you love all of her smart and simple ways of explaining how you too can unfuck your brain, you’re going to love her online community even more. It’s called The Clutch and it’s a feminist coaching community, full of hundreds of other women who are just learning how to liberate themselves. Contact InfoWebsite: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/The Clutch: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/theclutch/

This week is a continuation of last week’s topic of what it means to be an empowered woman, and how confidence is different, yet plays an important role. Last week I shared that confidence is a feeling based on what we are thinking and that it is through practice and understanding of ourselves and our thoughts that we can become more confident. To listen to that episode, go here: http://daniellesavory.com/podcast/2020/1/30/ep-50-becoming-more-confidantEmpowerment, on the other hand, is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights. When we’re empowered, we’re using the self-confidence we posses, and we direct the way we want our lives to go. In this episode, I share the steps to becoming empowered, how to think and feel as your future self in order to become her, and why sexual empowerment is crucial to becoming a fully empowered woman. Topics in this episodeHealing is the first step in becoming sexually empoweredBe now who you needed then and learn how to love yourselfTake power over your story and define what those events mean for you You can’t control everything that happens outside of you. But you can control how you feel by controlling what you think.Know the results you want for yourself and how you want to show up in the world, and make decisions from the future you that has those resultsKnow thy sexual self The transformation of feeling more confident in, and standing in, your body This week I want you to think about owning your story in a powerful way and ask yourself, “What would a sexually empowered woman think or believe about herself? What decisions might she make today to prioritize her pleasure?” And from there, think about some small tweaks that you can you make right now to feel more purposeful in your pleasure. We all benefit when we are more pleasured, and it makes a huge impact on the world. This is why I love coaching women on this every single week. If you know for sure this is the missing link for you to show up more powerfully in the world, I encourage you to reach out for coaching. I can help you through every step of this process. To fill out an application, go here: http://daniellesavory.com/coaching

I hear from women often who want to know how to feel more confident and how to have that “it factor”. Confidence is a feeling, based on what we are thinking, and it’s different from being empowered. In order to access confidence, we must understand and be aware of our thoughts, and hold space for the feelings that we experience. It is through a self-compassion practice and understanding of ourselves and our thoughts that we can become more confident. In this episode, I share the process of how to create the thoughts that are necessary to be a confident woman. Topics in this episodeWe aren’t born confidentThe opposite of confidence is doubtWe don’t need evidence ahead of time that we can do the thing we want to do Self-compassion requires:Mindfulness of what is going on with our emotionsAcknowledgment that we are human KindnessAs you believe in yourself, other people, and their thoughts about you, don’t have to mean anythingCreating an evidence fileAsking your brain for help to believe in yourselfWhen the doubtful thoughts come back

In today’s episode, I talk with Claire Byrne, a heartbreak coach who helps women stop wanting Mr. and Mrs. Wrong back. She’s the host and creator of her podcast, How to Stop Wanting Him Back and is also a regular contributor to Kourtney Kardashian’s Poosh.com. Claire is also a really good friend of mine. We met way back when we were just getting into coaching, and it has been really great to be on this journey of building our businesses together. In our conversation, we cover a number of topics, things I often get asked about sex and heartbreak, emotional availability, and of course pain and healing and pleasure. It was so much fun talking with my friend, and I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. Topics in this episodeWhen should you have sex after heartbreak?What is required in order to heal from heartbreakHeartbreak is not a linear processBeing ok with rejectionThe price you have to be willing to pay for healing and pleasure Creating emotional availability and safety after heartbreak Getting through times of feeling disconnected with your partner Claire answers the question: What would change in the world if more women were sexually pleasured?Claire’s Contact InfoWebsite: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clairetheheartbreakcoach/Podcast, How to Stop Wanting Him Back: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcastArticles: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/articles

The same thing applies to sex and having pleasure. When you say the word sex, what kind of tone do you have? Is it one of dread? Pleasure? Excitement? I want to share with you how the tone affects our body and how we think about sex, and what you can do to change it. Topics in this episodeThe tone changes the story in our headThe tone that we have when we’re talking about sex, this is going to set up the way that sex feels to you. Your tone is going to guide your body about how you want to feel about it.How do you want your body to feel about sex? It’s not just sex - it’s also how you think about yourself Uncovering negative associations and how to heal from them You have the power to change your toneThis week I want you to practice saying “sex” and other words regarding pleasure. Say it in the mirror, or in the car. If it’s something you want to crave, think about how you might say something you already do crave. If it’s something you want to find pleasurable, then say it the way you already say something you do find to be pleasurable.

Topics in this episodeHow disempowering our thinking can beWe don’t have to settle. Sex is irrelevant to modern-day lifeWhen you’re starting something new, that can be exciting. And that becomes more tantalizing than having sex can be. Circumstances are neutral. It’s about how you think about them that will either make them an obstacle or not. What’s keeping you from pleasure? Thank you so much for joining. As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this information with you. I hope that it allows you to find all of those off switches that are keeping you from accessing your pleasure, and start to move them out of the way so you can create that flow once again. If you’re looking for more help to identify those turn off switches, I am taking applications for one-on-one coaching later this year. You can apply here: http://daniellesavory.com/coaching

As we kick off a new year, I want us to take some time to reflect and evaluate the last year that we had. It’s important to take a look back, to know what is working and what isn’t. And in the realm of sexuality, what is working for you in order to feel like a sexually empowered woman? In this episode, I share helpful prompts to use when thinking about the past year and the goals you want to set for 2020. Let’s make 2020 the sexiest year yet.Topics in this episode3 Questions:What worked?What didn’t work?What am I going to do differently?How to move through negative thoughts and feelings that may ariseGetting specific with our goalsStretch goals, and why they are good for usHaving a growth mindsetBe willing to failProductive vs unproductive failureWhat sexual failure looks likeNot having sexChanging your mind and deciding it isn’t worth itLetting the “how” get in your wayNot following throughBeing ok with “meh” sexGiving upExcuses and justifications for not doing itI’m so excited for you to have your sexiest year yet! It’s your year to lean into your pleasure and to pursue your pleasure. I’m so grateful for you all, and if you want any help in reaching your 2020 goals, make sure to connect with me for some coaching at http://daniellesavory.com/coaching. As always it’s been my absolute pleasure to bring this episode to you today. Please consider sharing this with a friend and leaving a review. Let’s make 2020 the year of the pleasured woman, not just for you, but for all the ladies out there.

Topics in this EpisodeDifference between mindfulness and meditationThere are different types of mediation, based on the desire results you are seekingInsight meditation focuses on the inner connection between the mind and bodyThis focus allows you to notice when your mind has wandered so that you can bring it back“I’m showing up for what is”How meditation can help with your pleasure:Meditation increases your focus Sharpens your awarenessMeditation calms you downHelps you become the observer of your thoughts Follow-through As always, it has been my absolute pleasure sharing this with you, and I hope that it helps you find more pleasure and gets you to the cushion to start meditating so you can have some mindblowing sex.

‘Tis the season for a lot of feelings. Emotions, and how we deal with them, affect our capacity to experience pleasure. Feelings and emotions come from what we are thinking, either conscious thoughts, or what is in the background. I want to talk about how we often go wrong with emotions, how we can meet them and process them. When we practice feeling, that allows us to get closer to pleasure.Topics in this episodeEmotions are labeled by the physical response we have to certain triggersFeelings are created by a thought or belief in the brain our brain, and our mind’s interpretation of what’s going on around us or “to” usThe first step is to be the observer and to notice the quick thought that triggers our emotions.How is it that I’m not able to automatically switch my feelings if I’m aware of the thoughts that are creating those feelings?Emotions live in the body and may stick around for a whileThe steps to feeling your feelings: noticing, giving compassion, and having curiosityAs always it has been my pleasure to bring this to you today. As you get better at this, you will feel increasingly safer being in your body, which opens you up to the possibility of being in your body during sex. I’m excited for you guys to do this. It’s really a game-changer. It’s going to make your life richer in all ways. I hope as you begin the journey to feel your feelings, you’re going to be able to have a more pleasurable life.

I often hear women feeling bad about speaking up for what they want. This apologetic energy carries into the bedroom, and it can mean feeling bad for saying no or feeling embarrassed. To be a pleasured woman, this is something we need to work through individually and collectively. It is time. I hope this episode will help you realize how perhaps you are showing up with some apologetic energy in between the sheets and how might be able to shift out of it so you can go and get your pleasure. Topics in this episodeWhy we feel sorry in the first placeThe role of cognitive dissonanceHaving the belief that we are in charge of other people’s feelings. What are you afraid of that keeps you from using your voice?Delivering our requests with boldness and with kindness.Open up the dialogue, without taking responsibility

It is holiday season and I think that I’m not alone with a say people are feeling the stresses. Today I want to hop on the gratitude train because around Thanksgiving there’s so much talk about gratitude, and what it can do for us. I think that it is such an important part of creating more pleasure in your life.When we’re talking about having a good sex life, it’s not just about the sex we’re having. It’s about creating the internal structure in our brain so that we can open the invitation and it’s easy for pleasure to enter. Focusing on our brain as an internal resource, and asking ourselves: what are the things that we’re working on with our mind on purpose that is going to help us have more pleasurable sex? Topics in this episodePracticing pleasure on purposeCreating a system of resilienceThe opposite of gratitudeThe key is awarenessComplaining is the ultimate killer of passion and pleasureArticle by Robert Emmons: Why Gratitude is Good, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_goodThe acceptance of what is How to begin a formal gratitude process As always, it has been my pleasure. Have a wonderful week, you guys.’Tis the season to be grateful. Bring some more appreciation and gratitude into your life for yourself and your partner. I’m excited to see how this shifts things in you and helps you tend toward more pleasure.

Today we’re going to talk about the simple concept of enjoying sex and how to focus on enjoying it. As we learn that there’s more enjoyment in something, we’re much more likely to increase our motivation to do the thing that brings us satisfaction. It makes sense why so many women suffer from low desire and wanting to increase their libido. It doesn’t have a reward we are used to experiencing. But it is time for a reclamation to our pleasure and to actually wanting it, because we love it. In this episode I share tips on how to begin to want pleasure, how to open your mind to it, and how to keep it once you have it.Topics in this episode:The reward that comes from sexThere’s nothing wrong with male sexual pleasure, but there should be pleasure for you both.Make it a habit to practice pleasureYou don’t have to do anything new. You just have to harness your attention to pleasureThe intention of finding the goodWarming up your awarenessWhat happens when pleasure goes away in the momentAs always it’s been my pleasure to be with you here today. And I hope that this episode will help you not only want pleasure for yourself but to go after finding it and enjoying it during sex. Because ladies, it is time to take a stand for yourself and equality for your pleasure. This is what I help women do boldly every single day. Standing in your pleasure is standing in your power. I have recently opened up three more spots for one-on-one coaching to help women finish this decade strong because this is so important. If this is something you want to do, hit me up, go to my website at http://daniellesavory.com/coachingFill out the really quick form, and let’s talk.

I was talking with one of my clients this week about last week’s episode. Desire and drive are different because it isn’t a biological need, but how does that change anything for us? This week I want to continue the conversation about how to want sex, and understanding our inner voices and what it takes to want to undergo change.I love hearing your thoughts. It always helps inform what I should spend my time talking about in these episodes and what I want to share. I want to hear your thoughts and follow up questions. Hit me up directly at [email protected]. You can also follow me on Instagram and message me @DanielleSavoryCoaching.Topics in this episode:The thoughts and belief patterns that get in the way of sexual pleasureHow those thoughts take us to a place of rejection of ourselves and partnershipsChanging the tone of your thoughtsLearning how to want sexThe siren and the sageActing from a place of thoughts that were chosen ahead of timeMoving through discomfort for the sake of growthI hope that today’s topic about the competing selves when making a change will help you create more space to become the pleasured woman you are wanting to be. You can access the worksheet that goes along with the episode at daniellesavory.com/sirensageIf you’re really ready to stop wasting time, working with me one-on-one, working with me is the most time-effieicnt fun and pleasurable way to discover how to enjoy sex again. I will have one opening later this month for a new client and I am currently having consultations to figure out who will take this spot. Apply for my coaching athttp://daniellesavory.com/coaching

When we take a look at sex drives, we are taking a look at belief systems. Most often, because of the way sex has been presented to us and is demonstrated in our culture, we have the belief that men have a higher sex drive than women. This belief can be getting in the way of your pleasure, and possibly have you think that something within you is broken. In this episode, I dive into where this belief comes from, how it is affecting your sexuality, and how to overcome this belief and be able to tap into your pleasure. Listen to this episode and allow yourself to bring some curiosity to these belief systems that you might not have taken a look at when it comes to your sex drive and men’s sex drives. What have you made that mean about your partner? What have you made that mean about you? How is this getting in the way of your pleasure? It is so important to take a pause to look at because these are the things that are going to block you from feeling safe, empowered, and able to access your pleasure. Topics in this episodeWhy things might look a little different, and what to do about it Saying yes out of guiltThe narrative that’s problematic to pleasureWhen you think you “should”, how does that feel in your body?Women have the capability to experience more pleasure than menThe definition of a “drive” and why sex is not one of them Spontaneous vs responsive desireAs always it’s been my absolute pleasure having you here on this episode with me today. I hope that you can begin to unpack the idea behind your sex drive, knowing the difference between different types of desires and that it will allow you to tap more deeply into your pleasure.

Are you clit-erate? Most of us don’t know what we want, because it’s something we’ve never been educated on. We may know some about the hardware, but by now, having listened to this podcast, you realize there’s so much more that goes into having pleasurable experiences and mindblowing sex. In this episode, I explain the importance of having clitoral curiosity and how that can have such a big impact on getting what you want with your sexuality. I also want to remind you guys that I’m doing an unbelievable retreat with one of my coaching colleagues Lindsey. We are doing a retreat in Palm Springs called the Pleasure and Profit Planning Retreat. We’ll be going in-depth to talking about what it takes to truly create a profitable business, and planning for a super pleasured and profitable 2020. To sign up and find more information go to http://daniellesavory.com/pleasureprofit-retreat. Topics in this episode: Defining clitoral curiosityHow important your mindset is to find pleasure in your sexualityCreating new neural networks for pleasureBeing present and engaged with what’s happeningHaving a point of focusMaking an old-time lover new againClitoral anatomyHelpful prompts to create curiosityI hope specifically that today’s episode helps you become more clitorally curious. You’re wired for extreme pleasure. Now go and allow yourself to find out what lights you up, what turns you on, and what you truly want so you can express this to your partner, or you can just help yourself find more and more pleasure. If you want to take this work even deeper, make sure you sign up for my master class and newsletter at https://daniellesavory.com/freetraining or even hit me up for some one-on-one coaching.

Last week I mentioned that I was doing a three-part masterclass: How to know what you want and be able to ask for it. What I’m going to do today is bring to you the first day of the masterclass, the foundation. Sometimes you have to look into what is going into the foundation of before you can even start the inquiry. When we’re beginning with the inquiry, there has to be a level of comfort with your sexuality. So in this episode, I discuss how to start with the foundation of pleasure, and how to determine what you want. In day two of the masterclass, we covered the investigatoin, and day three was all about the conversation. Each session also comes with a set of resources that I provide to help guide you through to the end goal. To see all three trainings and get access to these resources, go to daniellesavory.com/training.Topics in this episode:How pleasure impacts so many aspects of our livesRedefining what it means to be selfish, versus selflessWhy we don’t pursue our pleasure Be in tune with the tone of noticingThe reward of sexRegulating your nervous system, and it’s role in pleasureHow to identify things we need to work on

In this conversation with Dr. Sonia Wright, a board-certified radiologist and mid-life sex coach, we discuss the role of sex coaching, particularly for women in their midlife. She shares how she got interested in being a life coach, and through that coaching, she heard from many of her clients that they were having difficulties in their sex lives. Since there isn’t much sexual education and training in medical school, she found herself doing a lot of independent research, which quickly developed into her pursuing a certificate program to become a certified sex coach.I had a lot of fun talking with Dr. Sonia about some of the most common concerns for women, the difference in sex coaching for midlife as opposed to other phases of life, and how imperative it is for women to give themselves permission.Don’t forget, if you want help getting clarity on what it is you want in the bedroom, please go to https://daniellesavory.com/freetraining to access free training that is available now.Topics in this episode:Why she pursued sex coaching, and what inspires her to continue doing itBenefits of sex coaching for clientsWomen in midlife are the sculpture and the sculptorPeri-menopause and menopause and how it can change your sex lifeHelping clients get to a place where they love themselvesThe importance of grieving what was lost, and celebrating what’s to comeDr. Sonia’s answer to: how do you think the world would change if more women were pleasured?Contact info:Email: [email protected]: https://www.themidlifesexcoach.com/

I love having these episodes and this podcast to teach you concepts, and today I want to give you a glimpse into what it’s like to work with me as your coach. When you listen to the podcast, it may be hard to understand the power of what’s being said. It’s powerful to hear other people’s experiences and the transformations they’ve gone through, and I want to share some of that with you. I also want to explain some key differences between sex therapy and sex coaching. Having a coach is like having a personal champion, and through these client stories, you get to see how focusing on their sex life opened up to personal growth in every aspect of their lives.Topics in this episodeValue of sex coachingThe feeling of worthinessWhat it’s like being powered in your decisionsWhat’s standing in the way of you getting what you want?How to be present, one of the hardest thingsTraining your mind during sex

So far in this podcast, I’ve talked a lot about big-picture stuff, like how pleasure can change your brain for the better. And also, how to have the right structure and environment so that you can create desire and pleasure can enter. At this point, I would love to start getting more detailed on what actually comes up with some of my clients and how I coach them through it so you can start doing the same. What I really want to talk about is this idea that you have so much going on, you have so much on your plate, the predominant thought you have when it comes to sex is, “I just don’t have time for that” or “I’ve got so much to do”. What I want to show you is how to prioritize your “why” in order to make time for what you need.Topics in this episodeTime is just a constructWhen we feel busy, we don’t have timeThere has to be a compelling reasonWhy is it important to you? What impact will it create?The beneficial impact this can have on your businessHow sex evolved, in your thoughts, to become an effortDecide, commit, follow-through

In last week’s episode, we began to talk about how self-image affects your sex life. I want to go even further this week and talk about how other people’s opinions can affect your sex life. We have a choice of whether or not we allow unkind comments other people say into our thoughts. Many of our beliefs have been learned by how we were raised, and the messages we got, and the world we live in. These beliefs can greatly influence our fears about ourselves, and especially about our sex, which keeps us from pursuing pleasure and desire.I want to share with you that the truth is really what we choose it to be. Not caring what others think isn’t easy, but it is the most liberating thing there is. It will free you and allow you to connect more with yourself so that you can go after your pleasure and go after your sexuality.Topics in this episode:You are responsible for the integrity of your thoughtsThe foundation of our “home” and how it affects your sex lifeNegativity biasHow to overcome negative thoughts and self-talkDefining your truthHaving an appreciation for your fearsWhy others’ opinions hurt, and how to change itAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure sharing with you how to not let other people’s opinions affect you so much, and get in the way of your sex.

Today we are talking about body image, which is a hang-up for many of us. I think it is safe to say that most women have been insecure about the way they look, and it creates obstacles for us to create more sexual pleasure or empowerment. This is something I truly love working with women to overcome in order for them to have a love affair with themselves, and to own the beautiful, badass, sexy women they are. Sexy is the relationship you have with yourself, and I want to help you re-build that relationship so you can access the sex you deserve. Topics in this episode:The narrative in our mindsThe role of self-criticism before and during sexWould you say that to someone else? A friend? Your daughter?The response of your sympathetic nervous systemYou have to be the one to have amazing thoughts about you.Shame is the opposite of desireRe-building your self-image happens in stagesThank you for joining me on It’s My Pleasure today. As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure sharing with you, the way to begin rebuilding the relationship you have with your body, and I truly hope you take this to heart so you can start owning your pleasure and your body in a totally different way. If this message resonated with you, please know, this is the exact type of work I do with my clients. It is possible for you to feel amazing in your body. Let’s get you feeling amazing right now! If you want to hop on a call and see if coaching is the right step for you, email me at [email protected]

In last week’s episode, episode 30, we started going through all the topics that have been discussed thus far on the podcast. I thought it would be so fun to recap the information that’s been shared, topics that have been discussed, and conversations so that you can remind your brain of the things we’ve discussed. And by doing so, it can ignite and inspire you to go back and listen, take some deeper notes, and actually apply, implement, and integrate what I talked about in that episode so that you can see real change.Episode 16: Decluttering for pleasure. Just like decluttering is important for our external environments, we can also do this work for decluttering for pleasure as well. Bring your awareness to the things that are getting in the way of pleasure.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-16-decluttering-for-pleasure%2FEpisode 17: Priming the body for pleasure. This comes back to not getting fixated on the outcome, but really enjoying the journey.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-17-priming-the-body-for-pleasure%2FEpisode 18: Our need to control a situation often keeps us from reaching our pleasure potential. What will it mean if you lose control? When you courageously answer these questions, you’ll realize that it’s not nearly as bad as you make it out to be.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-18-letting-go-of-control%2FEpisode 19: Having a sexy and loving mind is the key to creating change in your sex life. Your thinking creates your results. How we think directly affects how we feel.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-19-a-sexy-and-loving-mind%2FEpisode 20: In this conversation with my dear friend and former client Mahsa Darabi, we discuss how Motherhood does not have to mean the end of your sex life.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-20-the-sexually-empowered-mama-interview-with-mahsa%2FEpisode 21: One way to create more sexual desire is to never say no. It is about giving your brain and your body a chance to actually explore the proposition of sex without defaulting to the automatic response you typically have.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-21-increasing-desire-never-saying-no%2FEpisode 22: Sex is about your pleasure. Sex has become a “should” for your husband, your marriage, for your reputation, or what you think you’re supposed to do as a woman, which makes it become about something outside of you. But we are changing the narrative around it for ourselves and for generations to come.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-22-sex-as-your-pleasure%2FEpisode 23: It is your responsibility to go after your pleasure. Take back what is rightfully yours. Your pleasure isn’t your partner’s responsibility. You get to decide how you want your sex life to look, and you get to do something about it.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-23-taking-responsibility-for-your-sexual-pleasure%2FEpisode 24: This was the first of a three-part series, focusing on elevating your sex life. Becoming the observer and aware of the thoughts happening in your brain gives you the ability to actually do something about them.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-24-elevating-your-sex-life-pt-1-becoming-the-observer%2FEpisode 25: Once you bring awareness to the type of thoughts you have, you can really start to notice where your attention is captured. This allows you to be able to bring your thoughts back, on purpose, to what it is you want to focus on.http://daniellesavory.com/podcast/2019/7/18/ep-25-elevating-your-sex-life-pt-2-capturing-your-attentionEpisode 26: Become embodied, meaning, to reside in your body with awareness. Wake up to what you are feeling and the sensations that are present. By doing this, you create the skill so that will open you up to pleasure.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-25-elevating-your-sex-life-pt-2-capturing-your-attention%2FEpisode 27: An amazing conversation with Melanie Cristol, founder of Lorals, a thin panty that can be used during oral sex. When we decide that pleasure is attainable and necessary for us all, amazing inventions such as this can happen.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-27-a-new-take-on-oral-with-ceo-melanie-cristol%2FEpisode 28: We have to believe that pleasure is possible. It seems simple, but it’s not a thought most of us are actively thinking. What if pleasure was possible for you?https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-28-believing-that-pleasure-is-possible%2FEpisode 29: The importance of the pelvic floor as it relates to pleasure, a topic discussed with orthopedic physical therapist, Buffy Stinchfield. Many women tighten up in this area so much, and as a result, they may not experience the pleasure that is available to them.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-29-pelvic-floor-health-for-greater-pleasure-with-buffy-stinchfield%2FI am so ecstatic and proud of all of the topics we’ve discussed so far, and I am thrilled to bring you even more. Thank you for joining me. I hope you have found these 31 episodes helpful in tapping into your

In honor of today being the 30th episode, I want to focus on 30 key takeaways, one from each episode so far. It is so fun to see all of the things we’ve talked about and the topics and information that have been shared. I know how easy it is to hear something, and it goes through one ear and out the other. So I want to take the time to go through and grab each episode and get the essence from it to jog your memory and remind you some of the things we’ve talked about. This episode will be key takeaways from the first 15 episodes, and next week we will cover the other 15 episodes.Episode 1: Your brain and your body are wired and equipped to experience amazing, mind-blowing pleasure. What is getting in the way of your desire? What is keeping you from pleasure?https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-1-mind-blowing-sex%2FEpisode 2: In order to receive more pleasure, we must set the intention for more pleasure. We have to actually be willing, open, and presenthttps://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-2-setting-the-intention-for-pleasure%2FEpisode 3: Stress and sex don’t mix. When stress exists in the body it can get in the way of us actually experiencing a pleasure. A three-pronged approach to have a mindblowing sex life.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-3-stress-and-sex%2FEpisode 4: Get out of your head and into your vagina. In order to experience ultimate pleasure during sex, we have to pay attention to the sex that is actually occurring.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-4-get-out-of-your-head-and-into-your-vagina%2FEpisode 5: You can make a longtime lover new again by adopting the beginner's mind in your relationship in order to not get bored.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-5-making-a-long-time-lover-new-again%2FEpisode 6: You’re not broken, and sexual pleasure is available to you too. Give yourself permission to be exactly where you’re at.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-6-will-it-get-better%2FEpisode 7: Letting yourself fail. In order to learn how to be sexual, you have to remember that you are in fact, learning.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-7-learning-to-be-more-sexual%2FEpisode 8: The goal of sex is not to have an orgasm. Learning how to let go of the end results. When you’re focused on the big-O, you create more pressure for yourself or your partner, and usually, the outcome isn’t pleasurable.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-8-orgasm-focused-sex%2FEpisode 9: Schedule sex. Schedule sex. Schedule sex.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-9-to-schedule-or-not-to-schedule%2FEpisode 10: A conversation with Rachel Sample, founder of The Felt Sense, on how to create explicitly erotic situations that can help usher in arousal.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-10-the-felt-sense-with-rachel-sample%2FEpisode 11: Vacation sex. Give yourself permission to relax, have fun, or even be a different version of yourself and do the things you don’t normally do in everyday life.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-11-do-not-disturb-vacay-sex%2FEpisode 12: Pain and pleasure in the body. Learning to accept pain the body and how to detach from it in order to see the other things the body is also experiencing.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-12-finding-pleasure-in-the-midst-of-pain%2FEpisode 13: Sex is the connector of every single desirable trait we want to have in our lives and in our business. Going after your sexual pleasure potential is personal growth at the highest place.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-13-why-pleasurable-sex-is-important-for-your-growth%2FEpisode 14: A conversation with marriage mentor Maggie Reyes on how to identify the things that might be taking us away from our pleasure potential, once we decide to go after it.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-14-interview-with-marriage-mentor-maggie-reyes%2FEpisode 15: Talking with Laura Haddock, founder of Lora DiCarlo, about the often overlooked connection between being sexually pleasured and being a boss.https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-15-interview-with-lora-dicarlo%2FI hope you enjoyed this run down of what I think are the juciest and fun bits over the last 30 episodes. Today we went through episodes 1-15, and next week I will go through episodes 16-29. I want you to know that I appreciate you so much. I love bringing this podcast to you every week and hearing about how it’s changing your life and relationship with sex

I am so excited for today’s episode because this is an interview I got to do with Buffy Stinchfield. She is an orthopedic physical therapist, specializing in pelvic and women's health for over nine years. Her own journey lead her to be a super passionate advocate for the care and information women receive. Earlier this year I had the pleasure of being a guest on Buffy’s podcast, The Girlfiend’s Guide to Health and Happiness, which you can listen to here. (https://www.pinnaclewt.com/podcast/021-the-power-of-our-minds-to-conquer-chronic-pain-and-even-gain-an-amazing-sex-life)In this discussion, we talk about how important pelvic health is for overall health, and the impact it can have on you your sex life. Some of the issues Buffy helps resolve include pelvic pain, pain with sex, bladder control, and organ issues. She also shares some of the latest information in pain science research, and how it relates to the mind-body connection.Join the 5-Day Pelvic Health Challenge at https://www.pinnaclewt.com/5-day-pelvic-health-challengeTopics In This EpisodeSymptoms of pelvic muscle tightnessThe issue with kegel exercisesHow mindset approaches your bodySigns you are disconnected with this part of your bodyThe role of fight or flight in our pelvic floorFinding pleasure in the small momentsCarving out time to spend with your partner

To start things off, I have a huge announcement. My good friend and coaching colleague and I are doing a retreat in Palm Springs in November. This is a pleasure and profit planning retreat. Our focus is that you walk away with your plan for 2020. And not only that, but that you have the tools to see results in your business and your pleasure. If you want more information, email me at [email protected] In this episode, I want to talk about the belief in the possibility of pleasure. Belief is much harder than we think, and to believe that pleasure is possible eliminates the first roadblock keeping you from it. I share the details of how to know you’re not believing, why it’s so important, and the first steps you can take to begin having amazing sex.Topics in this episodeWhy belief should be a part of your mental strategyBelief can be fleetingThe role of cognitive dissonanceSigns you don’t believe pleasure is possibleAsk yourself, if I believed pleasure was possible, how would things be different?Progression of thought starts with possibilityRecognizing the signs of the mind shift

In this episode, I’m so excited to share with you the conversation I had with Melanie Cristol, founder and CEO of Lorals. In her role as a peer sex educator in college, one product that came up occasionally was the dental dam. It is a flappy sheet of rubber that is used during oral sex on a person with a vagina. It can be inconvenient and uncomfortable to use, and she knew she wanted to create a product to help women and people with vaginas experience more pleasure during intimacy.Lorals are incredibly silky panties that are designed to maximize sensations and minimize worries while you are receiving oral sex. In addition to sharing her journey from how she went from being a lawyer to an entrepreneur, she also details the personal skills she possesses that prepared her for creating a product in a taboo space.Topics in this episodeDifficulties in using and buying dental dams that inspired her to create a new productReasons why people turn down oral sex, and how Lorals can help solve those problemsOvercoming “who am I?”How Tourettes has given her the courage to be able to create a product in a taboo spaceWhy it’s important to have more “taboo” conversations, especially for people with vaginasDefining and discussing the pleasure-gapBenefits of orgasms, and how love and intimacy leads to a healthy and happier life for peopleTo learn more about Lorals:Website: https://mylorals.com/Instagram: @mylorals https://www.instagram.com/mylorals/?hl=enTwitter: @mylorals https://twitter.com/MyLorals

This is the last installment of our three-part series about how to elevate your sex life. The purpose of this series is to focus on the foundational skills that are going to help with your presence and purpose in your sex life and all areas of your life. In part one we focused on becoming the observer and allowing yourself that ability to start noticing what’s happening in your mind. Last week we talked about purposefully redirecting your attention to the type of thoughts that will deliver your desired results. This episode we cover what it means to become embodied and how to start experiencing what it’s like to be human in this human form, and opening up to sensations. We focus on what it means to be present to your sensations, and what happens to your brain when you do. I share with you how to tap into and lean these sensations, and 3 practices to help build the foundational skill. Topics in this episode: Definition of being embodied Levels of embodiment Enteroception Noticing resistance How to mindfully attend to your emotions Finding the parts of your body that feel pleasurable Managing emotions As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to be here with you. I have absolutely loved offering you this three-part series about building the foundational skills to elevate your sex life, business, and your overall existence. I hope what you’ve learned today will help guide you to becoming more embodied so that you can experience all the pleasure your body has to offer you. If you’re loving this podcast and what you’re learning and you’re ready to take it deeper, then you should reach out for one-on-one coaching. To learn more, go to http://daniellesavory.com/coaching.

This is part two of our three-part series about how to elevate your sex life. The purpose of this series is to focus on the foundational skills that are going to help with your presence and purpose in your sex life and all areas of your life. Part one was about bringing your thoughts to the forefront of your awareness. Once you are aware of your thoughts, you can capture your attention in order to shift your mindset, which we cover in this episode.Our mindset is made up of thoughts we think over and over that create our beliefs, and these collections of thoughts and beliefs create an overall disposition that will create a reaction to particular events, and can also show up in our behavior. As it applies to sex, your mindset can affect your attitude and disposition. So it is important to take a look at all of the learned beliefs and how you can change them in order to have mind-blowing sex.Topics in the episodeRecap of part 1 in the seriesDefinition of mindsetHow mindset applies to sexThe benefit and act of writing down your observationsNoticing the reaction to your thoughtsThe role of Cognitive dissonance in your sex lifeNoticing what is capturing your attention, and redirecting your mind on thoughts that will serve youI hope this episode is going to help you capture your attention back so that you can get to your desired result. If you’re loving this podcast and what you’re learning on here, and are ready to apply it at a deeper level to experience mind-blowing sex and success, I encourage you to reach out for one-on-one coaching. This is where we take the work even deeper, and you’re going to see massive changes in all areas of your life. To learn more, go to http://daniellesavory.com/coaching.

There are three main skill sets needed to create the most mind-blowing sex life and honestly life in general. This episode is the first of three part series and is all about how to become an observer of the mind. My experience as a long time meditator as well as a meditation and mindfulness instructor has allowed me to not only become keenly aware of my mental happenings but to help others do the same. So what does watching your mind have to do with having an amazing sex life? Tune in to find out and how you can start becoming a witness to your mind or hone your skills more so that you can apply them to your pursuit of pleasure.

When you decide to create a better sex life than the one you are currently experiencing then taking responsibility for your pleasure is essential. But we don't automatically do this, in fact we blame our sexual pleasure on almost everything else! Listen in on this empowering episode and starting taking your sexual pleasure BACK! Please note: possible trigger warning. Mention of sexual assault.

One of the most, and I would argue THE most, common thought I see standing in the way of desire is thinking of sex as pleasure for someone other than you. That is not thinking of sex as an act for YOUR pleasure. All of the "shoulds" come out - you should be more sexual, sex is something you should be doing for a good marriage, I should want it. These "shoulds" all indicate and underlying lack of belief that sex is in fact about your own pleasure. And when you approach it as such, the best sex of your life is possible, as one of my clients recently discovered. Also I announce the winner of the $250 sensual escape voucher as well. Thanks again for all the rules.

The biggest issue that my clients comes to me with is lack of desire. They have achieved so much in their business and life but find that they simply don't "want" it that much. And they want to want it. I mean don't we all? But we think that desire is this thing that just overcomes us and when it doesn't we are afraid that there must be something wrong. In this episode I begin to explore the topic of desire and offer one of my common practices called "Never Say No" which is aimed to help brake the mental habit of blocking desire and the action we take of "saying no" on autopilot.

Ugh this conversation with the amazing Mahsa Darabi was so much FUN! Mahsa immigrated to the US from Iran when she was 7 years old and despite being the butt of many jokes in her youth for being "weird" she became a successful model and actress. Enjoy this talk I have with a dear friend and former client as we chat about how her definition of beauty changed despite the industry she was in and her transformation into becoming a sexually empowered woman after having children.

whether or not you have a fabulous and blah sex life. No, I am not lying - manage your mind and have mind-blowing sex - promise. Listen in to figure out how.

What would happen if you didn't have to keep yourself "in line"? Many people don't consciously think that they are trying to control everything around them, until they take a closer look and realize, that they are, in fact desperately trying to hold on to control. Because perhaps the fear is that if you let go of that control you might not stay motivated, or are afraid to see what is on the other side of really releasing your grip. What would happen if perhaps you kept allowing stimulation after orgasm? Or when something feels new? Or when you can seem to relax and just receive? In this episode we explore the mindset of control and despite your best efforts how it is keeping you from realizing your pleasure potential.

There is a lot of talk about pleasure and how it can be BAD. I break down the difference between false and true pleasure and how sex can actually be BOTH, what?!? I know crazy right. And then I will take you through how to begin to prime your body for more pleasure for better sex and a better life.

Ugh why isn't pleasure happening? Well likely the same reason that calm isn't happening in your house, because there is too much shit crowding every single corner. In this episode learn exactly how you can begin to create the right type of environment that pleasure might actually exist in. It may sound boring, but this is EVERYTHING!! Extra show notes: If you wanted to get in touch with my amazing organizer and live in the Portland Metro area hit Sarah up at simplyreorg.com

Holy sh*t this interview, with badass boss Lora Haddock CEO and Founder of Lora DiCarlo was so much fun! We talk about how her and her team created the revolutionary hand frees robotic tool made to bring about the ever coveted blended orgasm, swoon! How this genius invention won a prestigious award and then was swiftly take away for, wait for it . . . being profane. And this my friends is what is at the heart of the issue of women going after and owning their pleasure. Hope you enjoy this tantalizing conversation of brilliance, bossing and bias.

If you are looking for any tips on how to have a brilliant marriage filled with love and pleasure then Maggie has the answers for you! Seriously. She does. Like allllll the answers. She is a marriage and relationship expert and I love our conversation - how to talk to your partner about sex and pleasure, how to notice and close up those loops that may be keeping you from pleasure, and how impactful a delicious sex life can ACTUALLY be in your marriage, health and impact on the world. To access the link Maggie mentioned in the interview please visit https://modernmarried.com/creatingsafety

We make time for what is important to us, even though our time is usually consumed by the things the brain labels as urgent. And the fact of the matter is, for most entrepreneurs and those of us with a lot on our plates SEX doesn't make the cut - in either category - urgent or important. But why not? Sex - pleasurable sex - is the connector of every single desirable trait we want to have in our lives and our business - don't believe me? Listen in and find out why sex should 100% be considered important.

It's easy to believe that pleasure is unattainable when we are experiencing physical pain - that perhaps it is not accessible to us. It can become a reason to shut down the possibility of pleasure in our bodies because we hurt. And boy do I know this story well. In this episode I share my personal struggles with physical pain and how I was able to find a delicious harmony of pleasure and pain in my body. Listen in to learn how to begin to experience pleasure alongside your pain or health issues.

Vacay and sex seem to go hand in hand for many couples - and why shouldn't it, it can be oh so good. In this episode we explore what happens to make vacation sex oh so good and what keeps you cumming back for more. Also how can we get a little more of that at home? Listen in as I break down some common things that happen while on vacation, the mindset behind it and how you can specifically recreate the magic in your own home.

In this special inaugural interview episode, I am joined by the founder of The Felt Sense, Rachel Sample. We discuss the importance of creating safe and welcoming spaces for conversations to emerge around sensuality and sexuality and how The Felt Sense was born. The assumptions made about women who speak openly about sexuality, erotic story telling versus porn, and of course the patriarchy of pleasure. You will be sure to fall in love with Rachel, her sassy and smart approach to sexuality and the open discourse we need in today's world.For more on Rachel, her offerings and to download her audible erotic stories please visit thefeltsense.com

Scheduling sex? Um no thanks! If that is your immediate response you are so not alone. I used to turn my nose all the way up to planning or scheduling anything especially sex. But why might this help you get your groove on? And no it isn't just about getting that date night on the calendar - it goes so much deeper than that. Listen on and find out why!

In this episode we explore what happens when we have an agenda with sex, and specifically getting to that orgasm. How does having an orgasm focused agenda effect your pleasure when you hit the sheets. Listen on to find out!

Learning to be more sexual might seem as though it should come easy. I can just flirt more and wear a sexy outfit right? Well, yes and no. In this episode we explore the nature vs nurture convo as it relates to sexuality as well what you can do to set yourself up for success as you learn how to step into your sexual prowess.

There is an underlying subtext that most of us have when we begin to take a closer look at our sex lives . . . will it get better? Is this possible for me? Am I broken/fixable? And that my friends is exactly where we start - with where YOU are in this moment and taking a closer look at how you are mentally relating to sexuality. In this episode, through relatable stories and the psychology of the mind, you will learn that knowing where you are at and then knowing how you feel/think about where you are at, is the key to creating lasting change. Because how you relate to yourself when facing change or challenge is everything when it comes to cumming.

Ok so you have been with your lover for a while now and perhaps you are starting to feel like two ships passing in the night or like your connection has lost that passion or maybe just that sex feels super routine and not exciting. I totally get you. In this episode, you will learn how to actually desire your longtime lover again and how to bring more deliciousness into your sex life. Buckle up buttercup, time bring the sexy back to your marriage or long-time partnership.