It's My Pleasure

With Mother’s Day coming up, I want to celebrate all of the momma’s out there who are investing in their pleasure, and talk about the specific hurdles I see for my client’s who are mother’s and the ability for them to connect with their pleasure. I want to share that as a momma myself, I see you, and I see the challenges you face. I want this episode to serve as a reminder to put yourself first, your pleasure as a priority, and to hold yourself with love and kindness. So often, when women become mothers, that serves as their identity. And yes, you are a mom, and you are so much more, and it is your birthright to be a pleasured woman. If you struggle with setting pleasure as a priority, then I suggest you check out my mini program, Making Time For Intimacy In Three Simple Steps. I take you step by step how to make the time for your pleasure. I give you the actionable steps, mindset shifts that it takes, and I talk to you about how to talk to your partner about creating this time in a way that benefits both of you. Topics In This Episode:Celebrating the wins of a clientHow we can redefine our motherhood from burnout to pleasure and joyLooking at how the narrative of struggle plays out in our role as mothers and as partnersAdvocating for our pleasure and for that of other momsSetting pleasure as a priority, instead of an afterthoughtThe results we create when we start from a place of pleasureInvestigating our self talk, and how it affects our relationship with ourselves and those around usRemoving the pre-momma version of you from a pedestalAs always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I want you to see that pleasure is so possible for you with your full schedule and with your children needing you. It is still possible. And not only is it possible, you deserve for your pleasure to be at the forefront of your mind. It will create delight in your body and in your life that fuels you and allows you to show up differently. And if you’re ready to take this work further and really apply these skills and making the best years yet, then join us for Better Sex in 90 Days. Enrollment is open, and I love helping women come back home to their bodies in a loving and celebratory way. To learn more and apply, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/.

I’m going to paint a picture for you. You have spent your day being a high achieving woman, taking care of your business and your kids. It’s the end of the night, and you know that you have sex on the schedule, but it’s one of the last things on your mind. You’ve made a commitment to yourself and your partner, but you are tired and aren’t thinking about sex as something that you want to do. So you decide to follow through, but you cut out foreplay in order to make the sex session as quick as possible so you can get back to whatever else you wanted to do. What if I told you that you are missing out on the most important part? For most of the women I work with, they have been with their partners for a while, and foreplay is no longer a part of their pleasure toolkit. Our society puts such high importance on penetrative intercourse that it seems like we should just skip ahead to that end goal. But in this episode, I share with you why foreplay is crucial for your pleasure and how to approach it with your mindset in order to achieve lasting change and become the fully pleasured woman you deserve to be. Topics In This Episode:The shift in foreplay throughout the life of a relationshipWhat it looks like when we have a lack mentality with our time, and how that affects our sex lifeWhen sex becomes just another item on your to do listBeing aware of when we put foreplay on the backburnerThe great misunderstanding of female pleasurePreparing our bodies for intercourseWhy I call them “sex sessions” As always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I encourage you to take all of the things that we talked about in this episode today, examine the beliefs that you have, and see how these things are getting in the way of your pleasure. Begin to do thought-work around them and start to give yourself the time to warm up and become aroused so that you can experience more and more pleasure.This is exactly the process that I take all of the women that go through Better Sex in 90 Days. To learn more or to join, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/

So many of the women that listen to this podcast and who I work with in the Better Sex in 90 Days program are high achievers. They come to me and ask me for how they can make time for pleasure when they are already so busy with their careers and their families. In this episode, I am delighted to share with you a conversation I had with my friend and coach, Stacey Boehman. Stacey is one of the most ambitious and high-achieving women that I know. In our conversation, she shares insight into how she intentionally and consistently makes pleasure a priority, both in the bedroom and beyond. Topics in this episodeWhat it looks like to date yourself, and why you shouldThe power in being able to turn yourself onUntangling the patriarchy from our pleasureRecognizing when other things are taking priority over sex, and recommitting to itBuilding a business as a pleasured womanThe freedom of an unbound lifeBreaking out of the default modeHow to get into the moment when he catches me off guardCommitting to courage and vulnerability in the bedroomAs always, it was my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I hope you were able to see from Stacey just how important it is to be intentional in your commitment to pleasure. Yes, life is busy and hard, and other things may come up, but staying committed to your result of being a pleasured woman will benefit you, those around you, and your business. To learn more about Stacey Boehman, go to her website at: https://staceyboehman.com/

Most of us in long-term relationships have faced that time in our lives where it feels like all desire for our partners have faded away. Trust me. It’s not you. You’re not broken. This is a natural thing that happens in our brains as we get comfortable and move through the demands and responsibilities in everyday life. But you can get it back! Just because this is normal and this is what happens, doesn’t mean we have to settle. In this episode, I share my six daily habits to spark desire and get that spark back with the one that you love. I’ve also been thinking about the issue where it feels like there just isn’t enough time in the day. And one of the first things that tends to go out the window is making time for our sexual desire and pleasure. So I’ve created a new mini-course for you called 3 Simple and Effective Steps to Create More Time for Intimate Connection. We’ll take a look at why you’re not making time for pleasure, why you want to follow through with getting it back, how to talk to your partner about it, and then how to move through resistance when it is on your calendar. This is such a great resource and I am excited to share it with you! To get this course, go to: Topics in this episodeThe 6 habits to spark desireReasons why our desire dwindlesLooking at what is required in order to get interested in pleasureHow our bodies respond to stressWays to be aware of pleasurable sensations throughout your dayGetting back the feeling of love and connection with your partnerCreating awareness around how we feel in our body As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. If you’re enjoying this podcast, I encourage you to share it with other women in your life who you believe could benefit. And don’t forget about the new mini-course I created for you. It is going to change everything for you, and it’s only $17! Make sure to follow me on social media! You’ll get tips and mindset shifts to help you and that you can share with the women in your life and continue to normalize women pursuing their pleasure. Instagram: @thesexcoachforwomen

Let’s talk about advocacy, what it means to advocate for your own pleasure, and for that of the women in your world! If we take a look at how the landscape of mental health has changed over the past few years, it has evolved from being something hush-hush to something that we now talk about openly. And this has lead to more options, and more solutions to the problems that exist. I want to share with you that this is possible when it comes to pleasure and sexual pleasure! I share with you how to begin the process of advocating for your own pleasure. You may think that this means speaking up in the bedroom, and that is certainly part of it, but there’s also so much more! I also go into some ways in which we can begin to be pleasure advocates in small ways that, when we all start to do them, become part of a much larger shift for our society and for future generations. Topics in this episodeThe role that advocacy plays in your pleasure journeyYour sexual pleasure is part of you. You don’t have to feel broken, alone, or have shame around this part of you.The 3 parts of self sexual advocacyBeing able to identify what is blocking your pleasure, and working through those blocksTechniques for getting out of the stress cycle, in order to create space for ease and connectionHow can you advocate for pleasure outside of the bedroom?Having the conversations with our partners to be able to ask for the things that we wantWays in which you can begin shifting the narrative for women’s pleasure As always it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you and I hope it gives you some good pointers to really become a pleasure advocate, both for yourself and for the women in your world. I want you to know that we can, and we should start talking about it. It’s a huge part of our well-being and it is our birthright. Make sure to follow me on social media! You’ll get tips and mindset shifts to help you and that you can share with the women in your life and continue to normalize women pursuing their pleasure. Instagram: @thesexcoachforwomen To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media Enjoying the podcast?Make sure you don’t miss a single episode! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, RSS, or follow on SpotifyLeave a review in Apple Podcasts. Then be sure to send a screenshot to [email protected] for your free sex starter kitLet me know your thoughts on this episode and join the conversation by leaving a comment down below!

I’ve got to be honest with you and tell you that I’m a little bit fired up, and there’s something that we can all do about it. There is something that I hear from women all the time, whether they are clients, friends, or from people on social media, I hear them say, “he only wants one thing from me”. This is not a thought that creates an openness to desire and becoming a more turned-on woman. Let’s take a look at how this idea of sex being a give and take has been engrained in us from a very young age, and how a shift in our thoughts can really change the narrative around sex within our society as a whole. And not only that, we’ll look at how you can apply these shifts to your relationship and how you can make your pleasure about you, and create the results you are seeking of more passion and connection. Topics in this episodeBeing aware of our thoughts, and the ones that do not create an openness to pleasureInvestigating how it feels in our bodies when we think "he only wants something from me"It’s not him. It’s actually you.Blaming our partnersHow we are sabotaging our own pleasureBeing able to identify when your brain is working against youHow as a culture we perpetuate the idea that men only want sex from It has been my absolute pleasure to share this truth bomb with you about him wanting something from you, and how it’s killing your own desire and your own pleasure. And if you are wanting to take this work to the next level, I invite you to join Better Sex in 90 Days, where I share practices and tools for you so that you get real results. We are always enrolling and we have another cohort starting soon. For more information, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/ To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below. Editing and show notes by Roth Media

When was the last time you just stopped and took a second, pause it all? We live such full lives, and our brains are wired to constantly be on the lookout to keep us safe and efficient. And that’s not to mention how bombarded we are with emails, notifications, and constant distractions. All of this working together makes it difficult to connect with ourselves, our bodies, and our pleasure. Today I want to share with you the practice of the pause. Why the pause is an easy and impactful practice both in your sex life and out of it and how to integrate it into your day.Topics in this episodeThe impact of the distracted brainHow the pause practice can help youEasy ways to integrate the pauseWhat this has to do with sexHow the pause can create more connection with your partner and selfDiscuss the four different types of pauses:As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to be here with you this week. Remember to pause and take stock of what’s happening in our minds and in our bodies. Really enjoy these moments and breaks from distractions, connect to you, and becoming a fully turned-on woman.To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media!

If your social media feeds are anything like mine, you’ve definitely noticed a shift in the past few years around mindset and the self-discovery journeys people are taking. However, and you may not have noticed this, but I certainly have, there doesn’t seem to be much of a shift around how we’re thinking about sexuality. For most people, they tend to have a fixed mindset around sex and what that means for them. The power that our mind has on our pleasure and desire is incredible, if we are open to it!In this episode, I share with you the characteristics of having a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. I walk you through how to identify each and I share the amazing potential that is awaiting you from a growth mindset, particularly around your sexuality and your pleasure.If you’re loving the concepts that I’m sharing on the podcast, then come join us in the group program, Better Sex in 90 Days. We take all of this information and this work to the next level. You learn to rewire your brain for more passion and pleasure with practices you can learn right away that are going to allow you to feel more sexual. Just imagine how much more your mind will be blown when you start implementing them in your life in a very focused way. To learn more, or if you have any questions, reach out to: [email protected] in this episodeSexiness isn’t something you’re born with or you’re not. It’s available to everyone!What it looks like when we apply our fear of failure to our sex livesHow to approach new things with an open mindBringing awareness to a fixed mindset, and then moving to a growth mindsetThe areas around sex that can be developed with a growth mindsetWhy we should learn to anticipate failures, and what it takes to be prepared to failSome of the techniques I walk my clients through in order to investigate what’s wrongAs always it’s been my absolute pleasure to share with you, this concept of a growth and fixed mindset. I hope that you are able to see how this applies to how you are thinking about sex, and how you can begin to move more into that growth mindset. There is so much delicious goodness on the other side of a growth mindset. And if you’re ready to take this to a deeper level, be sure to check out Better Sex in 90 Days at https://daniellesavory.com/group/.To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media

I want you to know that right now, you can start practicing the skills and going through the processes needed in order to have better sex. Yes! Right now. If you are listening to this podcast, I know it’s because you are looking to make a shift when it comes to the sex you’re having, or may not be having. You know that it’s out there; the connection to your partner, to yourself, confidence, passion, and of course, orgasms. And in this episode, I share with you how to access it all for yourself, how to apply it to all areas of your life, and how to become a fully pleasured and orgasmic woman.All of this juicy goodness is available to you through my Better Sex in 90 Days program, which kicks off soon! Throughout the 90 days, you get to focus on what you need most and create the results you are looking for, with step-by-step coaching, meditations, modules, and group support. No matter where you are coming to this work or the results you are looking for, I know you will find it here, and so much more. I know this work works because I have seen it. And this is all available to you too.Here is just a taste of some of the skills, practices, and results that await you in the program:Actually embracing and celebrating the sexual part of youOpenness to receiving pleasure, as opposed to chasing itCreating awareness around the thoughts and habits in our brainFocusing your thoughts during sexDeveloping the skill of processing your emotionsFeeling more confident in communicating with your partnerEvaluating and learning from the sex you are or aren’t havingWherever you are right now, I’ve got you. I truly have. It’s there for you to experience all this juicy pleasure that is your birthright. I can’t wait to see you in there and for you to see and experience all the delicious goodness that these next 90 days have in store. To join, go to: https://daniellesavory.com/group/. You might even be eligible for more delicious bonuses depending on when you enroll, so make sure that you don’t hesitate! I can’t wait to see you in there.To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media

In this episode I speak with 7 women who went through the first cohort of the Better Sex in 90 Days program. It was such a joy to hear updates from each of them around what the long-term results of doing this work have had on their lives. And by sharing their stories, you’ll get a chance to see just how life-changing this work can be over the 90 days and beyondIf you are ready for better sex, then I invite you to join the Better Sex in 90 Days program, which kicks off in just a few weeks. This is where you’re going to learn everything that I talk about on this podcast, on a deeper level. Over the 90 days, you will learn how to identify what is holding you back from pleasure, how to connect with your body, your partner, and your sexuality all with compassion, and really be able to show up more alive than you thought possible, not just in your sex life, but in every aspect of your life.Topics in this episodeWhy they joined Better Sex in 90 Days – where they were starting and their hesitations in joiningHow they moved through thoughts of shame and religious upbringings around sexWays in which they now prioritize pleasure throughout their day-to-day livesFears about pleasure taking away from business growthThe stories of despising bj’s to loving them, becoming multi-orgasmic and living in a more juicy marriage.Self-compassion what does that even look like?The camaraderie of a community of women learning to lean into pleasureYou’ll also hear them say things likeYou teach that we can have an amazing sex life whenever. And now the main takeaway is that I can be turned on whenever I want. I have the tools to do it, and it’s not hard at all. It keeps getting better! This is amazing. And it’s my new me.-FannySo much of it for me was about reclaiming my power and trusting my body. I thought that pleasure had to be earned, before. And now I know that I have a right to pleasure that I want, when I want it, just for pleasure sake.-KateI was worried that pleasure would take away from the business growth. It has really been just so breathtaking to watch the beauty of a woman being present with her own pleasure in all aspects of her life, in the way that that contributes to her blossoming in her full growth potential showing up, too.-LizzieIt made me feel so normal! When you actually gather with women and they’re actually sharing all their experiences, you get to hear it firsthand. And I walked away from every call just feeling empowered and super connected to women in general, which is so special to me.-Jamee

In today's episode I interview 5 incredible women that have gone through the Better Sex in 90 Days program in the most recent cohort. Their fears, hesitations and of course the sex and results they got from doing this program. I often talk about the process working through many different layers of what is holding you back from pleasure, and how to access the pleasure that is your birthright and now, you get to hear from the women who have been through it and have built the solid foundation of skills and practices that they can keep returning to again and again. The better sex and so much more.In these conversations, you will hear them shareWhy they joined Better Sex in 90 Days - their fears and hesitationsTheir big takeaways and the obstacles they had to overcomeHow this work changed them both inside of the bedroom, as well as throughout other parts of their livesWhat it looked and felt like to work within a group setting, and the joy and freedom they found within itWhat they would say to someone considering joining Better Sex in 90 Days (spoiler alert, everyone recommends it!)You’ll also hear them say things likeWhat I got out of it was so much deeper, so much more about me than it even was about my relationship, my partner, or sex. No regrets!-RuthieI fell deeply in love with my own body-TonyaSex was an area where I felt dependent on my partner. And it’s just not a fun dynamic to be like, ‘Hey, if I want to be turned on, I need you’. You get to take responsibility for your own pleasure, and it definitely changes your relationship.-VikkiThe connection I have with the other women is huge. People would be vulnerable on the calls and I would think, ‘I’m so glad they’re sharing that, because it’s touching me so much, just in the way that I need.-DanaAs always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this episode with you. Thank you to all the women who came on the podcast and took part in the Better Sex in 90 Days group experience. I’m so excited to meet the next group of women who are going to be coming into this group. I can’t wait to hear from you and what your stories are going to look like.If you’re hearing this, and it’s speaking to you and it’s something you want to do, then I invite you to join Better Sex in 90 Days. We kick off the first week of February! As you can see, everything is there for you to be able to unlearn the things that we’ve been taught in this society that’s holding us back from our pleasure, and learn and access all of the juicy goodness that is available to you.To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Let’s have some sex-success! In the previous episode, I shared with you why you should set intentions around the area of your pleasure and sexuality, and what that may look like for the year ahead. This episode is a continuation of that conversation in which I share with you the “how” of how to reach that success.I also want to share with you that this time in the new year can bring a feeling of excitement, or may bring a sense of pressure and overwhelm when it comes to creating goals. Whatever you’re experiencing, welcome it, invite those feelings in with acceptance and love, and know that the results you want to create are still entirely doable. Now let’s talk about how.Topics in this episodeDebunking the myth of laziness or a “weak” mindset around a lack of follow-throughWhy you get stuck in the status quoWhat happens when you make it mean something about you5 things for being successful in achieving your goalsExamining your self-talk, and moving from guilt to loveThe importance of defining sexual success for ourselvesHow stress shows up in your sex life, and the effect it has on your sex goalsThe benefit of investing in your pleasure every day and what that looks likeIt has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. These five tactics will be so helpful in achieving your sex goals. These are the exact things that we work on in the group coaching, Better Sex in 90 Days. Sign up now for access to the most premier program for getting all of the sex goals that you want to achieve. We start in February and I look forward to you joining us. To help other women find this show and create more pleasure in their lives, leave a review! Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media

I love the end of one year and the beginning of the next. The new year gives us a chance to reflect on what worked well and to celebrate those things! So often, we’re only looking ahead at what’s next, what’s next. In this episode, I share with you some ways to examine your sexuality this year and what may be revealed. I also share with you why it’s so important to create intentions for the new year centered around your pleasure, and what that may look like for the year to come. For those of you who are serious about having better sex, the Better Sex in 90 Days program is the most efficient way of getting there. It’s 90 days of getting coached directly by me in a supportive community of other women with the same intentions. Enrollment starts in January and the program kicks off the second week in February. If you’re interested, you can find all of the details and enroll here.Topics In This EpisodeScientific benefits of prioritizing your pleasureWhat we can learn by looking at our winsCelebrating our achievements in the area of pleasureLooking at what’s really possible in 90 daysExperiencing the ripple effect of being mindful in your lifeHow to create a resilient brain, and the freedom that resultThe framework for evaluating your sex lives and creating intentions for the new year.Thank you so much for an incredible year in 2020. It has been my absolute pleasure to bring this podcast to you nearly every week. I’m so excited for you to take this opportunity to look at your sex life, see where you can celebrate, and apply what worked to the goals and results you look to create in the year ahead.As a reminder, there’s still time to enter for the giveaway! Entries will be accepted until January 4th. So, submit a review, take a screenshot, and email it to [email protected] for the Sensational Sex starter kit, and a chance to win the most delicious, pleasurable gift box ever.

Recently, there has been a bit of "buzz" about vibrators in the community, perhaps it’s because we are in the swing of the gift-giving season. I’ve seen a lot of articles out there about sex toys and vibrators, and I realize that it’s time we talk about it here on the podcast. In this episode, I share with you why I recommend for some clients to use one, and for others to not. I also dive into some of the myths around vibrators and take a look at how they affect our mindset and the ability to access pleasure in our bodies.And don't forget about the most incredible giveaway going on right now for a pleasure-filled box just for you! In this gift box are some of the most luxurious things to get yourself pleasured. All you have to do to be entered for this giveaway is go to Apple Podcasts and write a review and share your feedback. Take a screenshot of that review and email it to [email protected]. When you do so, you’re also going to immediately get the Sensational Sex starter kit. Which includes instructional videos, meditations, and a workbook to take this work even furtherTopics in this episodeVibrators and long-term sexual sensationWhat happens in your brain when you use a vibratorAchieving the same level of focus with manual stimulationAsking ourselves, what is the goal for this sex session?The confidence and comfort of using a vibratorAddressing what you’re making the use of a vibrator meanLooking at the dependence upon a vibrator for an orgasmAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to be with you. This week I encourage you to investigate your thoughts around using a vibrator or not. When you are able to see the types of thoughts you are having, that when you’re really going to open the doors for your pleasure and be able to lean into your pleasure potential. Enjoy yourself and your journey to becoming the most pleasured woman possible!

No is such an important word, and it is important to use it effectively. We want to use no to create safety and remove the pressure, and we also don’t want no to be our automatic response when sex comes up. In the last episode, we talked about when we should say no. And in this follow-up episode, I share with you why you shouldn’t say no, how saying no becomes an automatic response, and the kind of awareness and pleasure that is possible for you.I also want to remind you about the amazing opportunity I have going in the month of December 2020. For this month, whenever you leave a review on Apple Podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and send it to [email protected] and you’ll receive your Sensational Sex starter kit! My team and I have put together meditations, instructional videos, and a workbook to really jump start this part of your journey.You’ll also be entered in a giveaway for a gift box of some of my favorite sexy things to help facilitate getting you in the sexy mood. It includes some sexy toys, high-end vibrators, items for general self care, skincare products that make me feel good and help me access pleasure, and some other goodies.Topics in this episodeIt starts innocentlyWhen no becomes automatic, and you find yourself always saying noSaying no ahead of time, to avoid saying it later.Noticing when you start cutting your partner off in little waysPractice in the pause in between the idea of sex, and deciding what you’re going to doEntertaining the thought, “Maybe I could be into it”Responsive desire - putting yourself in a place where desire can bloomMaking “maybe” your new automatic responseAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to be with you today. I hope these two conversations around the word no has created curiosity and awareness of your thoughts around why you’re saying no, feeling safe so that you can even enter a place of possibility, and starting to say yes and creating the pleasure that is possible for you.To leave a review: Click here to go to Apple Podcasts and follow the steps below.Editing and show notes by Roth Media

No is such an important word, and it is important to use it effectively. We want to use no to create safety and remove the pressure, and we also don’t want no to be our automatic response when sex comes up. In the last episode, we talked about when we should say no. And in this follow-up episode, I share with you why you shouldn’t say no, how saying no becomes an automatic response, and the kind of awareness and pleasure that is possible for you.I also want to remind you about the amazing opportunity I have going in the month of December 2020. For this month, whenever you leave a review on Apple Podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and send it to [email protected] and you’ll receive your Sensational Sex starter kit! My team and I have put together meditations, instructional videos, and a workbook to really jump start this part of your journey.You’ll also be entered in a giveaway for a gift box of some of my favorite sexy things to help facilitate getting you in the sexy mood. It includes some sexy toys, high-end vibrators, items for general self care, skincare products that make me feel good and help me access pleasure, and some other goodies.Topics in this episodeIt starts innocentlyWhen no becomes automatic, and you find yourself always saying noSaying no ahead of time, to avoid saying it later.Noticing when you start cutting your partner off in little waysPractice in the pause in between the idea of sex, and deciding what you’re going to doEntertaining the thought, “Maybe I could be into it”Responsive desire - putting yourself in a place where desire can bloomMaking “maybe” your new automatic responseAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to be with you today. I hope these two conversations around the word no has created curiosity and awareness of your thoughts around why you’re saying no, feeling safe so that you can even enter a place of possibility, and starting to say yes and creating the pleasure that is possible for you.

A lot of my clients have this expectation that in long-term, committed relationships, there is less pressure when it comes to sex, but oftentimes, there’s even more pressure, and it can be difficult to say no when we really should. Today I really want to talk with you more about saying no, using this word, stopping sex and when this is important for you and your pleasure, and also why it’s so damn hard to do. I’m not even going to pretend that it’s not, because it is really tricky, but it’s important to remember why we’re doing this and that it’s just one more way to keep becoming a fully turned on woman living a pleasured life.I also want to say thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review on Apple Podcasts. If you haven’t yet, please write a review and take a screenshot and send it to [email protected] for your Sensational Sex starter kit! I’ve put together some meditations, instructional videos, and the things you need to help you get started on this journey. All submissions are entered to win a giveaway with one lucky winner who will receive a box with so much good stuff in there to nourish you, nourish your soul, and be able to bring pleasure into your life. Topics in this episode: Saying no creates boundaries and safety.No can work against you when it’s the only thing that you sayThe ultimate outcome is to shift your mind to connect with yourself and your partner in a way that you are experiencing more pleasureCreating a container that is inviting for pleasureThe body needs safety and a lack of pressureThe disconnect between what we know cognitively, and what we feel in our bodiesReasons why we’re afraid to say noAddressing the idea that it is our job and responsibility to prioritize the pleasure of othersAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this information with you about stopping sex and why it’s so hard to say no. Remember, there is no room for pleasure when you don’t give yourself the permission to say no. It’s crucial that you feel that it’s ok. Saying no is scary sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. I hope this episode helps you create more safety in your body so that pleasure and desire can grow. In the next episode, I’ll be talking about when you shouldn’t say no, and why these are both important. Enjoying the podcast?Make sure you don’t miss a single episode! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, RSS, or follow on SpotifyLeave a review in Apple Podcasts. Then be sure to send a screenshot to [email protected] for your free sex starter kitLet me know your thoughts on this episode and join the conversation by leaving a comment down below!

This episode is part 2 of what we started to talk about last week, sexual trauma. If you haven’t yet, I would encourage you to go and listen to that episode first. We truly can’t expect to have freedom as a turned-on woman in our lives when we’re weighed down by past trauma and all the emotions that come with it. My promise to you is that I will not mention any details of sexual trauma. In this episode, I share with you how to begin the work of recognizing and responding to triggers and identifying the ways in which we may making our trauma worse and adding to our suffering. It is our birthright to feel whole as pleasured women, and with these episodes, I want to help you on that journey. I mentioned last week that I’m doing a drawing for a sensational sex starter kit and we came up with an even better idea to put together hand-picked items for the most delicious, sexy, gift box you can imagine. These are premium products that I absolutely swear by that allow you to connect with yourself in a sensual and loving way. All you need to do to be eligible to win this box is write a review on iTunes. By writing a review, you’ll also receive a sensational sex starter kit, which includes a workbook, meditations, and everything you’ll need to begin your journey of being a turned-on woman. In order to receive this sex starter kit and entered to win the sexy gift box, simply write a review on Apple iTunes and send a screenshot of your review to [email protected]. Topics in this episodeResponding to the reaction and feelings of when we are triggeredTrauma takes us away from being able to access what we truly wantPleasure isn’t about adding something in to our lives. It’s about liberating our true nature.Starting our healing journey by addressing the additional sufferingCreating containers for you to be able to bring pleasure inWhat it looks like to process stored emotionsRewriting our storiesIt has been my absolute pleasure to share some of these tools with you as you begin your own journey. I am so proud of you all for showing up and listening to this episode. I know it can be scary, but hopefully this episode outlined the process of beginning to face your trauma and showed you what it can look like when you do. Feeling whole and connected with your body is your birthright. It might be scary, but it is so worth it on the other side.

Today we are talking about trauma, and I really encourage you to listen to this one, even though it is more of a serious and heavy topic. It is a really necessary conversation we need to have as women, especially as we continue to tap into all of our potential in so many different ways. Even if you think this may not apply to you, you may still learn something about your own body and experiences. Trauma has many forms, and it is going to affect your ability to access pleasure, and that’s why we’re here. Disclaimer: In this episode, I will mention abuse, sexual assault, and childhood abuse, but I will not go into any details. My intention in discussing this topic is to open up a safe, loving, and healthy dialogue so that we can all heal. I hope that this is episode will jumpstart your healing journey and will lead to more pleasure in your sex life and every part of your life. Topics in this episodeWhy I haven’t talked about trauma on this podcast beforeTrauma is another part of being human that we can all learn how to embrace. We don’t have to feel afraid of it. It can be an opportunity for us to love ourselves even deeperHow to support ourselves when we feel the sensations from traumaIt is our birthright to experience pleasure and freedom in our own bodiesRecognizing trauma in our brains and in our relationships with our bodiesNot shaming our brain and body’s responses to traumaWe deserve to feel free from this so that there’s nothing holding us back from connecting with ourselves and the person we love New resource for youI wanted to let you know about an opportunity. Maybe you’ve joined my webinar, or you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while and you’re ready to take the next step in your journey but you’re not sure if you’re ready for coaching, so I put together a starter kit for you. It’s a totally free resource for you to jumpstart your journey. Included in this starter kit is a workbook with questions and explanations and a couple of meditations. I want to gift it to you totally for free. To access this amazing resource, go to Apple Podcasts and write a review of this podcast. Share with others why you keep coming back, what you’ve learned, and how it has impacted your life! Once you’re done, take a screenshot of your review and send it to [email protected], and you will receive this free starter kit.It’s been my absolute pleasure to be with you here today and have this conversation. This episode might not have been as exciting or fun as we want sex to be, but it truly is one of the most important topics. Healing our traumas is a crucial part of sexual liberation and falling in love with yourself and being able to fully enjoy who you are and to access your birthright to experience pleasure and freedom.

I think it’s time we dedicate an episode to talking about one of my favorite topics, self-pleasure! When it comes to the thought of self-pleasure, shame tends to be the predominant feeling, and it comes from the ways in which we’ve been socialized and taught about enjoying our bodies. In this episode, I get into some of the specific beliefs that hinder us from being able to explore and enjoy our bodies, and then how to shift those beliefs. Once we’re able to create that shift, it opens up the possibility of what sex and pleasure could look like for us, and then we’re able to apply that to our sex lives in our partnered experiences! I also share some of the ways in which it could negatively impact your sex life, and some ways to get started.This is a topic that comes up with my one-on-one coaching clients, as well as with the women in my group coaching, Better Sex in 90 Days. I am currently taking applications for the next group session, which starts in January. To learn more or to hop on a call to see if this is the right fit for you, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/Topics in this episode:Understanding why you’re associating this practice with shame.The foundational belief that our bodies aren’t our ownSelf-pleasure vs masturbateSelf-pleasure is an opportunity for you to be able to connect with yourself and your body in a caring wayThe goal of self-pleasureHow it feels to receive your own love and touchHow self-pleasure can help and how it can take away from your sex lifeGiving yourself permission to exploreAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you. I hope that it helps you up your self-pleasure game, no matter where it’s at. This is one of the most delicious and amazing self-care practices that creates connection with our bodies. Give yourself permission to bring this in as a regular part of your practice and have fun!

When I say “mind-blowing sex”, what images come to mind for you? For most women, there’s an immediate image that pops in our heads that we’ve been fed through the media about what incredible sex should look like. This image in our minds forms how we think it looks, and how it feels, to be turned on and pleasured. What if I told you that this image of mind-blowing sex is actually keeping you from having that kind of sex that you’re picturing? In this episode, I talk about these sex standards, and how to let go of them so that you can create your own image of pleasurable sex, and you can start having the sex of your dreams. Topics in this episodeIs there a right way to have sex?How this affects the way we’re thinking about our sexual partnersThe standards you’re holding yourself against and how you’re measuring the success of your sexConfirmation bias - the brain believes something, and it’s going to work to find evidence of that beliefCreating pleasure requires curiosityThe difference between sex goals and goals in other areas of your lifeAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I hope that with this episode, you’re able to find more pleasure in your body, the obstacles that are holding you back from experiencing delicious, amazing sex. Pleasure is possible with your mind, and when we start to break down these standards, we all win.

Today’s topic may seem similar to things we’ve talked about in previous episodes, but I really wanted to simply talk about flipping the narrative about how we look at pleasure in general. So many of my clients and podcast listeners come to me to figure out how to make time in their life for pleasure and how they can squeeze in their sex life into their day. But what if instead of trying to fit it into our lives, we made sex and pleasure the goal to begin with?Topics in this episodeThe socialization of hustle cultureThe expectation and glorification of doing it allWhy we feel compelled to take on extra burdens and tasksThe cost of doing it all, and how that impacts our pleasureSex and pleasure aren’t things to wait forIt has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I hope this episode has given you food for thought about what it would look like for you to really flip the narrative and focus on pleasure, and letting that be the focus that supports everything else around you.

I talk to a lot of women every week, and one of the main things I hear is the idea that they don’t know where to get started. When you think about taking on your sex life and creating the result of having a pleasurable sex life, it can totally feel overwhelming. This feeling of overwhelm causes our brains to shut down, and we don’t even know where or how to get started. In this episode, I share with you the tools to break down this huge undertaking and walk you through step-by-step with specific examples of how you can create momentum and become a turned-on woman. Topics in this episodeThe indicators that your sex life may not be creating the result of you being a turned-on womanWhat causes us to shut downPause and examine the elementsHave a vision and know what you’re going towardsUnderstanding that pleasure is possible for youPrevious episode, 6 Skills Needed for Better Sex: https://daniellesavory.com/77-6-skills-needed-for-better-sex/The difference between: “What can I do to make my sex life better?” And, “What actionable step can I take in this one area?”It has been my absolute pleasure sharing this with you today. I hope this episode helps you find more pleasure. When you’re looking at everything as being this one huge overwhelming problem to be solved, your brain and your body wil shut down. Give yourself the gift of being a project manager. Break it down into one chunk, and break that down into a smaller size until you get down to a bite-size piece of one specific thing you can focus on tonight to move your sex life forward. Over time, the more that we work on one thought, behavior, or action, the more it will compound and create the result of you becoming a pleasured woman.

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putting a past version or a future version of yourself, and what is possible for you, on a pedestal. In this episode, I share with you why this can be a problem, and how to look at your current state and the current level of happiness with your sex life with love and appreciation, and why that is so important to taking it to the next level. Topics in this episodeWhen we put others, or other verions of ourselves, on a pedestal, we automatically see ourselves as less-thanHow you’re inadvertently rejecting yourself right nowAllowing yourself to look into the future with curiosity and possibilityWe can’t change reality by being frustrated with itWhen you think about your frustrations with your sexuality, how does it feel in your body?Coming to a place that what you have right now is good enoughBeing excited about the future of where you can go in your sex lifeAs always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I love sharing this reflection about when we’re comparing ourselves to our past or our future, and how to step into not really seeing ourselves as less-than, or rejecting who you are right now, but truly finding acceptance and love, so that you can lean more into pleasure and really grow from this place.

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putting a past version or a future version of yourself, and what is possible for you, on a pedestal. In this episode, I share with you why this can be a problem, and how to look at your current state and the current level of happiness with your sex life with love and appreciation, and why that is so important to taking it to the next level. Topics in this episodeWhen we put others, or other verions of ourselves, on a pedestal, we automatically see ourselves as less-thanHow you’re inadvertently rejecting yourself right nowAllowing yourself to look into the future with curiosity and possibilityWe can’t change reality by being frustrated with itWhen you think about your frustrations with your sexuality, how does it feel in your body?Coming to a place that what you have right now is good enoughBeing excited about the future of where you can go in your sex lifeAs always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I love sharing this reflection about when we’re comparing ourselves to our past or our future, and how to step into not really seeing ourselves as less-than, or rejecting who you are right now, but truly finding acceptance and love, so that you can lean more into pleasure and really grow from this place.

In this episode, I wanted to share with you the six skills to practice for better sex. This is the foundation for the work I do with my clients, and they are the key to unlocking pleasure, pleasurable sex, and for being a pleasured woman. With these skills, you will be able to connect with your body, give yourself grace, and make incremental changes so that over time, your sex, and your life, keeps getting better and better. These skills are part of the foundational work we do in my group coaching experience, Better Sex in 90 Days, starting September 17th. If you’re on the fence at all, I encourage you to fill out an application and hop on the phone with me. This work changes your life. This isn’t to be waited on as something to do later. The longer we wait to make this a priority and don’t work on practicing these skills, is time that we are just letting life happen to us. Topics in this episodeThe 6 Skills to Practice for Better Sex1. You have to believe in pleasure in general, and sexual pleasure2. Practice having a playful presence.3. Focus the brain4. Develop sensual awareness5. Processing emotions6. Sex assessmentsIf you don’t believe that pleasure is possible, you’re cutting yourself off from being able to access itPassion versus arousalEmotions as physical sensationsProcessing versus indulging your emotionsAs always it’s been my absolute pleasure being with you, and I hope that you’ll take these skills and practice them, either on your own or with us in Better Sex in 90 Days. There’s nowhere in these skills that relate to spicing things up. I don’t talk about new positions, toys, or finding your G-spot, because none of that stuff really matters unless all these other skills are practiced and worked on. These are the foundational skills that are needed for pleasurable sex, and with these skills, you’ll be able to create a better connection and a pleasurable sex life.

A common misconception that the reason we’re not having orgasmic sex is because of our partner, or our children, or something else that is standing in the way. So many women truly feel that if things were different in their relationships, then they would be able to have better sex and it would be more attainable for them. In this episode, I explore some of these excuses and share with you why it’s not them, it’s you, and that instead of feeling guilt or shame, this is a powerful step in taking back control of your sexuality. We have to reprogram our brains on how it comes to thinking about your partner, yourself, and your sex life, in order to create the environment for pleasure, and that is what empowerment is all about. This is the exact work I do with my clients all of the time, because it’s about creating a process and a skill set so that you are changing who you are being as a woman. You become a turned-on woman. You become an orgasmic woman. You become a woman who actually wants sex more. This is possible for you too. To be a part of my group coaching experience, Better Sex in 90 Days, go to: https://daniellesavory.com/groupTopics in this episodeMasterclass, The Orgasmic Sex Playbook: https://better-sex-in-90-days-with-danielle-savory.mykajabi.com/Orgasmic-Sex-PlaybookThe partner problemThe excuses, that aren’t actually the problemEven if all of that stuff changed, it doesn’t mean that who you are as a woman has changedThe brain will find something else to think about so that it still feels pressure and shame when it comes to sexLooking at the emotions that come up around sexYou have the power to change you.It’s super easy to blame somebody else. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t make you feel in controlAs always it’s been my absolute pleasure to be with you today. I can’t wait for you to start seeing the shifts of where you’re blaming your partner, and instead, taking on the responsibility that this is actually about you. You have the ability to become a turned-on woman. It is the most empowering and freeing thing that you can believe about your sex life.

I recently wrapped up the first of my group coaching programs, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I want to start this episode by sharing feedback from one of the participants who said that she embarked on this journey because she saw how important it was for her husband. Now, after completing the program, she says that it is her favorite gift she’s ever given to herself. In the beginning, she was curious to see if sex was something that she could enjoy, not just something that was for her husband. Through this coaching, she now thinks about sex more often and learned that she actually likes sex a lot.Which is what leads us to the topic of this episode. I hear from many women that they want to pursue coaching and investing in their sexuality because it will benefit their husbands or partners. The motivation for these women is that this investment is a good idea, simply because it will benefit the people around them, without really thinking about themselves. Listeners, I want to share with you that while of course, this kind of work can have a positive ripple effect on those around you, you should pursue this simply for your own pleasure. You are reason enough. Topics in this episode We see sex for the husband and partner, rather than the possibility of it being pleasurable for ourselvesOur sexuality and sensuality can be for the benefit of usWe aren’t simply objects of desire.How might you be seeing your pleasure as a way to benefit him, to benefit your partner, rather than something for you?The deep transformation of saying yes to youAs always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to explain to you why your pleasure is enough of a reason. Really think about how you are using the idea of benefiting others for motivation to drive your sexual journey, and how powerful of a shift of your mind it can be when you simply say, “I’m going to benefit, and that’s a good enough reason”. Enrollment is open for the next cohort of the group coaching, Better Sex in 90 Days. To learn more and to apply, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Have you ever withheld sex as a punishment or have used it as a reward for “good behavior”? I was on a call with a client recently and we were talking about this idea of withholding or rewarding with sex, and it made me think of a time in the early years of my very own marriage when I would tell my husband that if he did certain things, that he would be rewarded with sex. I remember one argument in particular over something really small, and I was paying attention to my brain as it had the thoughts, “I’m going to show him! I’m not going to have sex with him tonight. I might not even have sex with him this whole week!”This idea of using sex as a reward or withholding it as a punishment is something that we see a lot of in our society. In this episode, I share why this thinking is so damaging to your own self-concept of your sexuality, and why it’s so important to prioritize your pleasure and the connection between you and your partner. Topics in this episodeThe underlying message we tell ourselves and our partner when we incentivize sexInstead of being for them, sex should be about your own enjoyment and pleasureThis doesn’t just hurt them. It hurts you too.This doesn’t mean that you have to have sex when you’re mad and don’t want to have sex.You are the one who creates your own feelings through your thoughts.You don’t have to deny yourself the pleasure that is possibleWe just finished the group coaching experience, Better Sex in 90 Days. I heard from so many of the women who participated that it was an incredible and life-changing experience. Some of the takeaways were that they learned how to slow down and truly be present, taking time to connect with the body, and getting to experience what it’s like to be a fully pleasured woman. The next group coaching session begins the first full week in September, after Labor Day. To learn more or to apply to join, go to: https://daniellesavory.com/group/. As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this episode with you about withholding sex and using sex as a reward. I hope it’s got you thinking about this concept that it is all about your pleasure. Sex isn’t just something to give to your partner. It’s about pleasure, connection, passion. It is for you. To make sure you don’t miss any of my content to help you become a more pleasured woman, sign up for the newsletter at: https://www.daniellesavory.com/subscribe

Let’s discuss the patriarchy and how it impacts our ability to experience pleasure in our bodies, starting from a young age, and sticking with us throughout our entire lives. The reason I’m talking about the patriarchy on a sex podcast is that the way we are socialized as women is going to greatly impact the way that we are able to show up in our bodies and experience sex and pleasure. When we have awareness about the types of messages we receive, we can see how our brain is naturally going to react when it comes to sex, pleasure, and our body image. Then, once we have awareness about it, we can begin to change and rewire it, so that we are more tuned in to experience pleasure.In this episode, I share some of the patriarchal messaging we receive, how to work through those beliefs, and share some of the transformations that women in my group coaching program are experiencing right now. If you want to take this work deeper, I am currently accepting applications for the next cohort of my group program. Better Sex in 90 Days, which is starting soon. To learn more and to apply to be a part, go to: https://daniellesavory.com/group/Topics in this episodeThe image of the good girl, and it’s affect on our sexualityDifferences in how sex is presented to men versus womenThe fear of presenting ourselves as though we are “asking for it”The messaging that keeps us smallerWhat female pleasure actually looks likeTurning off the turn-offsOpening ourselves up to the practice of receivingAs always it’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you. I hope this has helped you really start to peel apart all of the layers of what you’ve learned so that you can fully step into yourself in a sexually expressed and loving way. It’s such a beautiful journey and I’m excited for you to be on it.

Across the last two episodes, we’ve been discussing motivation and desire when it comes to sex, how they’re different, and how they interact with each other in order for you to have more pleasure. So often the terms “desire” and “arousal” are used interchangeably, but they really are not the same. Desire is the eagerness and wanting to have sex, and arousal is the physiological response to sexual stimulus. In this episode, we dive into what it means to feel aroused, how to get there, and why it’s the missing piece to your libido and being able to be a fully pleasured woman. I’m also really excited to share a recent testimonial I received from a woman in my group coaching program, Better Sex in 90 Days. We’re coming up on the last few weeks of the program, and there have been so many ah-ha moments, mindset shifts, and celebrations, and it has been such a joy to see the amazing things these women have accomplished. My next group coaching starts the first week of September, and I am currently accepting applications. To learn more and to apply, please go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/Topics in this episodeSpontaneous desire versus responsive desireGetting aroused will lead to the eagernessWhat desire feels like in your bodyMotivation is the willingness. Desire is the eagerness. Arousal is the physiological response.Arousal is the foundation of pleasureGive yourself the time. Give yourself permission to be in your body, and to let go of control.What does arousal require?As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to bring this episode to you. I hope that it helps you understand arousal a little more, and to know that you can create thoughts so that you can become more embodied. Take a look at how you’re thinking about sex and putting pressure on yourself. Give yourself permission to become aroused, so you can get off and get the pleasure you deserve.

If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you’ll know that your thoughts create your feelings. This episode is a continuation of the conversation we started last week about motivation and desire, and how those play a role over the course of a long-term monogamous relationship, which may result in a lack of desire for sex. Last week I shared the difference between motivation and desire, the cultural factors that created the motivation for sex, and that once the goal of a long term relationship is secured, the motivation for sex is diminished. In this episode, we continue exploring the connection between motivation and desire, and how we can use our thoughts to create the feelings of enthusiasm and excitement, which drive our desire for pleasurable sex. To hear last week’s episode, go here: https://daniellesavory.com/ep-70-motivation-to-have-sex/Topics in this episodeHave some compassion and love for yourself.The difference between motivation and desire:Motivation influences desireDesire is totally in our control. It’s a feeling. It’s a moodThinking thoughts that help increase your enthusiasm and eagernessApproaching desire with curiosity creates an environment for pleasure to enterIt has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. Don’t forget, your mindset and your thoughts create your feelings, and desire is one of those feelings. Think about what happens in your body when you’re enthusiastic about something, you get excited and enthusiastic about pursuing it, and your pleasure should be no different. Keep thinking thoughts to create these emotions, and create more desire today.

One of the most common things I hear from women is about how their desire has diminished throughout the course of their long-term, monogamous relationships, and that it may have even stopped altogether. For most of us, we have been brought up with a cultural narrative of the importance of securing that long-term relationship. And one of the ways in which we secure this relationship with our “person” is through sex. In this episode, I dive into the subconscious motivations for sex within a relationship, what it is that creates desire, and a prompt for self-reflection on why it is you want to tap into your desire and for doing this work. Topics in this episode Pleasure is not measured in the same sense of achievement or milestones as other areas of our lives, making it difficult to find the motivation to invest in ourselves and our desiresMotivation versus desireThe biggest factor that keeps us from owning our pleasureWe can’t enjoy sex more if we’re not having it in the first placeWhen we have security and attachment, we have to look for another motivational systemThis isn’t something wrong with you. You aren’t broken.Desire comes from a want, and not a “should”.Ways to help yourself find your motivationIt has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you. This is something I cannot stop thinking about, and I hope it will help you tap deeper into your “why” for doing your work on your sexuality and seeing all the ways it’s worthy of the effort. Next week we will talk more about the desire to have sex, and I can’t wait to chat with you then.

Brig Johnson is a fellow life coaching colleague and friend of mine. She is an amazing representation of a woman who fully celebrates her body, and I wanted to have her on the show today to share about her recent journey of doing a boudoir photoshot in honor of her 55th birthday. Brig is such an inspiration, and I am excited to have her in my world because I feel like I have permission to shine brighter when I’m with her because of the way that she shines. In our conversation, she shares her journey of deciding to pursue a boudoir photo shoot, the mental preparation she did, and how she celebrates herself and her body every day. Brig is on a mission to help high-achieving Black females become un-fuckwithable. Her unique approach combines her knowledge as an advanced practice healthcare provider and her skill as a life coach, and her direct style helps clients see themselves with clarity and compassion so that they reach the results they desire. If Brig sounds like she may be a great fit for you, please check out the links to contact her and get connected. Topics in this episodeThe revolutionary act of embracing our sensualityWhy she decided to do this photoshootWillingly celebrating someone else’s shining lightAsking for support from other womenThe difference between giving and celebratingPaying rent: The constant health practice we all must do in order to enjoy our bodiesWorking towards a goal, while also being loving and accepting of yourself along the way and enjoying the processWe all have the possibility to create a future that is way better than our pastsCreating a sisterhood by recognizing the beauty of others and releasing judgment of others, and ourselvesCelebrating yourself and making it a habitBrig answers the question I ask each guest: What do you think the impact would be if more women in this world were pleasured?Contact InfoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachwithbrigWebsite: http://brigjohnson.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnsonbrig/Ricardo Andre, Photographer: https://www.instagram.com/ricardoandrephoto/It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this conversation with you. I am so happy that I was able to have Brig on and to have her share her journey and experience with all of you. After we recorded this episode, we started talking and we really want to bring this celebratory experience into more women’s lives and we have decided to put together an event to help women just like you find and celebrate their queendom.

When we start to do this work, it starts with little tweaks that we do to think differently, to have a different perspective, and to unlearn our behaviors. But really, when you look at the bigger picture, what you’re doing is changing your personality. Who we are and how we show up in the world is a collection of different things: things we’ve learned, the thoughts we have, the beliefs that we have, which dictates how we feel emotionally in our body. And when we start to challenge how we feel in our bodies and make shifts in our thoughts and beliefs, it changes who we are and how we show up. In this episode I really dive into the emotion of shame, especially around self-pleasure, and how we can notice our thoughts, and begin to shift them so that we can become the self-pleasured women we want to be. Topics in this episode: How addicted we get to our personalityWhy is this so hard, even when I know this isn’t serving me?Emotion showing up in our bodiesWhy self-pleasure brings up shameExploring what emotions feel like in the bodyWhy it becomes scary to face our shameSustaining emotions of pleasure, satisfaction, and joyThe steps to finding joy and pleasure in your sex life As always it has been my absolute pleasure to be with you this week. I hope that you have the audacity to see that there’s so much pleasure available for you, and you can start to lean into it moment by moment. Over time, by taking these steps, you become the sexual woman that you are wanting to be.

For today’s topic, I wanted to talk about the idea of pleasure. It came to mind when I was working with my group program, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I was recently asked what I meant when I said pleasure, and how the women in that program know if they are experiencing pleasure or not. We’re told what pleasure should feel like or what pleasure looks like, and we don’t often think about what it means to actually feel like. In this episode, I share with you how to identify what it is that you find pleasurable, and how you can apply that to your sex life and become the sexual woman you seek to be. Topics in this episodeDefining pleasure and sexual pleasureLet yourself be curiousPleasure is made up of physical touch and the filter with which we see itContext mattersPleasure is subjectiveFinding what it takes to feel sexual pleasure It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this information with you and I hope it allows you to find more pleasure in your life. If you’re enjoying this podcast, I encourage you to write a review and tell your friends about it. It really helps get this word out so that we can become more pleasured human beings. We need more pleasure in this world and to allow ourselves to delicious pleasure.

I want to start by discussing the current events that are taking place in response to Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, and the thousands of other Black lives that have been unjustly taken. It has been very clear to me why this movement of Black Lives Matter is so important. With what is going on right now, I want to start by saying to my Black friends, listeners, and colleagues; I love you. I see you. And I fully stand with you, today and every day. Being a white woman in this country and really listening to the Black voices close to me, in my local community and beyond has been particularly important recently. I am learning and unpacking, and I want to continue to learn and be a part of the conversation and take action that I can take. In this episode, I share with you a Q&A, something I’ve never done before. The topics I cover in this episode are how to feel pleasure when there is so much overwhelm and deep hurt, how to push through anxiety in order to fully organsm, and increasing libido.Question 1: How is it possible to feel pleasure when there is so much anger, overwhelm, and deep hurt? Learning how to be compassionate to yourself for your emotionsGive yourself permission to feelGetting through the trauma in our bodiesGive yourself permission to feel pleasure, along with the emotional pain you’re experiencingMoments of pleasure are soothing and will help you get through the hard timesQuestion 2: How do you push through anxiety to fully orgasm?We’re not trying to push through anythingWhen you’re not having sex, ask yourself, where is this anxiety coming from?What are you afraid of experiencing?If you don’t know where the anxiety is coming from, it makes it difficult to do anything about itHow to identify where the anxiety is coming fromQuestion 3: How do you increase libido?What libido meansAsk yourself, how can I want sex more?Spontaneous vs responsive desireSpend time finding out what it is that turns you on, and spend time doing that thingMinimizing your turn offsIt has been my pleasure, as always, to share these tools, insights, and mindset shifts that can really help you become a more turned on woman and help you lean more into your pleasure. Not only are you deserving of pleasure, but it is also available to you and it can help you in all areas of your life.

Today I wanted to share five practical things you can practice to have better sex. If you want to get better at anything, it requires practice, and the same thing applies to sex. And it’s important that we practice these things outside of sex so that it becomes more of a default in the moment, and you can really feel and enjoy the pleasure of having sex. Carve out time in your every day life to really be intentional and practice these five things, and you’ll be able to feel more pleasured and have better sex. Topics in this episodeThe 5 things to practice for better sex:Feeling pleasureThinking about sexConnecting with your lady partsFocusingThe muscles you are going to use during sexFinding moments of pleasure throughout the dayFind time to think about your partner more, and to be eager to see them and spend time with themPay attention to the person he is and the things he is doing, rather than the things he isn’t doingNotice what it feels like in the moment to tap into the sensations of your vulvaIf you want better sex, you have to learn to focus your mindWhy we want to focus during sexGetting your body ready for the kind of sex you want to haveResources3 Simple Steps for Mindblowing Sex: https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-59-first-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2FPelvic Floor Health for Greater Pleasure with Buffy Stinchfield: https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-29-pelvic-floor-health-for-greater-pleasure-with-buffy-stinchfield%2F It has been my absolute pleasure to share this episode with you. I had a fun time thinking about all of these ways that you can practice better sex when you’re not actually having better sex. I hope that all of these practices help bring more pleasure to you in the bedroom. If you’re enjoying this podcast, please take the time to write a review and sharing this so that more women can feel sexually pleasured and alive.

We are going to talk today about this idea of not being sexual, and what that even means. Women often say to me, “I’m just not that sexual”, and it seems like an innocent thing, but I want to unpack why this sneaky thought is negatively affecting your ability to become more sexual. We’re all here because we want to have better sex, and believing you aren’t sexual is holding you back from the sex you deserve. I’m also going to share a simple technique you can use to shift away from this thought and to be able to identify as a more sexual person. Topics in this episodeThe difference between being asexual versus not feeling very sexualWhen you think “I’m not sexual enough” it’s going to affect your ability to access pleasureThe roadblocks in starting from a place of “not enough”-nessWhen we identify ourselves in a certain way, it feels like it’s set in stone and impossible to change, but it’s notYour brain will sabotage your desire to even change this belief you’ve createdAn exercise to remove old beliefs about yourselfWhen you can see it as a thought in your brain that you are a sexual person, you can begin to direct your brain to think differently This is a sneaky thought that is so commonly overlooked. And when you are starting this journey with this belief, you are starting at a disadvantage. Give yourself the possibility of pleasure by recreating your self-concept and your identity as a sexual being. If you want to be guided with this, this is the exact kind of work I do with my clients and I’m more than happy to talk to you about what that would look like. http://daniellesavory.com/coaching

In this episode I share with you another interview with my beloved clients, Jamee. I just love hearing her paint the picture of what it looks like to be a vibrant woman who’s alive in her body. She shares with you just how she went from rejecting her body, for a number of reasons, to now being able to relish in the pleasure of it. She wanted to make choices from a place of love, and now she can because she’s in a deep love affair with herself. She also talks about the new approach she has to sex, now that she has recognized that she truly enjoys it and wants it for herself. By learning how to tap into that pleasure, she’s now able to apply it to other areas of her life, and she talks about the transformation she’s seen because of it. For any of you that are ready to do this work, my group program, Better Sex in 90 Days, is open right now. I’m so excited to take you through this transformational journey because I know what it’s like on the other end. As I take clients through this process of falling in love with themselves and redeveloping this deep relationship with their bodies and their partners, they can dive deep into their sexuality. And also by doing this work, they can bring integrate what they learn into their lives and become a fully expressed person. It’s the most incredible work you can do. Take a look at it at: https://daniellesavory.com/group/Topics in this episode:Getting curious about the fact that sexual pleasure isn’t just about your partner, and that it can be for you too.Opening up to pleasure, instead of ignoring yourself and your needs“I wonder what else feels good.”Spend more time thinking about what it is you do want, instead of all the reasons why you don’t. Making the shift so that you are able to actually ask for what you want. Having compassion for yourself shows up in having compassion for your partner, and allows you to be able to show up for yourself and for sex.Part of the reason it doesn’t feel pleasurable is that sex is under the veil of obligation. But once it becomes a choice that you are free to make, you will feel the pleasure of making that choice.The ripple effect of being a pleasured woman, and how that changes our parenting, and the people around us It’s been my absolute pleasure to bring you this episode where we got to hear all about Jamee’s journey and where she’s at. It’s been such a delight to work with her and to keep doing this work with her through our group program, so that she can continue to find new levels of pleasure. I hope that by being able to hear her story and the ups and downs she’s experienced, and what it’s like on the other side, that it inspires you. Sex doesn’t have to be a “have to”. It can be a choice you make for yourself. To learn more about this work and going on this journey, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/

I interviewed one of my clients, Deise, and in this interview, you’re going to hear exactly what doing this work looks like from the inside. In our conversation, she is open and honest about her experience starting from the first time we got on the phone, what motivated her to start this journey, the fear about moving through the good girl identity she grew up with, to now being completely transformed and on the other side. It can be hard to picture the before and after of what it means to be an empowered woman, and in this episode, Deise does such a beautiful job painting that picture for you. If you’re ready for this level of growth, I encourage you to apply for the new group program I have created, Better Sex in 90 Days. It’s the most comprehensive coaching program available to women to learn the exact process that I take women through, like you and like Deise, to have better sex, and to feel empowered and sexually alive. https://daniellesavory.com/group/Topics in this episodeDeises journey before coaching that culminated to make sex seem unimportant in her lifeCoaching through the fears and the stories we tell ourselvesDefining what is actually pain, versus a fear from past painThe journey of self-pleasureHow this work allows you to connect with yourself moreSex can be so much more fun when we’re not dependant on the other person to meet our needsThe steps to gaining confidence and being able to communicate what we want, within sex and beyondWays to help get into your body and to enjoy self-pleasure and the connection to yourselfDeise answers the question I ask all guests on my show; how would the world change if more women were pleasured?It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this work with you that Deise has done, and the transformation that she’s had. I hope that it gives you insight into what is possible for you. Doing this work on your sex life and integrating this into who you are can change everything. If you want to do this work with me, I encourage you to check out Better Sex in 90 Days. I take you through a step-by-step process to unleash that wild woman in a safe and loving way that you walk out of it knowing how to keep falling in love with yourself, your relationship, and more in tune with your sexuality and your power. https://daniellesavory.com/group/

We are on part 3 of our series based on a recent masterclass I did called 3 Steps to Mindblowing Sex. These steps are essential for being able to uplevel your sex life, no matter where you’re starting at. Two episodes back we covered Step 1, have sex. We talked about why so many of us aren’t having sex and how to recommit to that action so that you can start showing up for the right reasons. In Step 2, Getting Out of Your Head and Into Your Body, we covered the disconnect between the mind and the body, and how to cultivate a connection to be able to access that pleasure. To listen to Step 1, go here: https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-59-first-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2FTo listen to Step 2, go here: https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-60-second-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2FStep 3 - Turning On the Ons, and Turning Off the Offs This step is really about getting into the mindset work and tweaking our thoughts one at a time to create more pleasure in the bodyReasons why it may be more difficult for you to get turned onThe more power you have on the “ons” side, the more you’re going to be able to experience pleasureOur turn ons and turn offs aren’t just confined to what we’re doing when we’re having sex.Common turn offs, and how to move through them so that you can access pleasure:The environment in which you’re having sexStressThe belief systemsPhysical discomfortTraumaKnowing when negative emotions are present and knowing how to be with them and process them so that you can have room for pleasure It’s been my absolute pleasure to share these 3 steps for mindblowing sex, and remember: have sex, get out of your head, and turn on those ons, and turn off those offs. This is such important work. When you start to lean into these 3 steps and start moving toward your potential for pleasure, it is one of the most rapid ways that you can develop and grow as a person and help you become the person you’ve always dreamed of being. For those of who you would love my help, I do have spots open for one-on-one coaching and I would really encourage you to take a look at the 90 Days to Better Sex group experience program I’ve just launched. If you want expert guidance from me, support from a group of other powerful women, and you want to get the skills and step-by-step processes that I’m talking about, go and check out the group program and apply at: https://daniellesavory.com/group/

I know that this episode is coming out earlier than expected, but I wanted to go ahead and record and release all 3 parts of the series all in a row. I know that right now a lot of you are at home, and I want to help you have better sex in your quarantine with your partners. This series is based on a masterclass I did that was called, How to Have Mindblowing Sex. In the last episode, I went over Step 1, have sex. To hear that episode, please go here:https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-59-first-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2F. This series is for anyone, no matter where you’re at, and following these 3 steps will help you have the better sex that you deserve. I’m so excited to share with you that I have been working on something that I can now share with you. I am starting group coaching sessions, called Better Sex in 90 Days. All of the steps that I’m talking about here, these are the foundational pieces that you can take and apply right now. If you want expert guidance from me, support from a group of other powerful women, and you want to get the skills and step-by-step processes that I’m talking about, go and check out the group program and apply at: https://daniellesavory.com/group/Step 2 - Getting Out Of Your Head and Into Your Body The reasons we’re not in our head to begin withWe need to be comfortable with uncomfortable emotionsYour brain wants to protect youLearning to cultivate the connection between the mind and the body so that we can be present for the thing we are experiencingYour brain wants to take advantage of the time that it has to do something elseRealizing when your mind wanders, and bring it backYou’re watching the sex you’re having, instead of experiencing the sex that you’re havingThe practiced skill of paying attention to what’s happening in your thoughtsIn the next episode, we get into the third step, turning on more of the ons, and decreasing the offs. As always it’s been my absolute pleasure to bring this to you, now go and practice getting out of your head and get into your body. Get into the sex that you’re having. Let yourself experience the ecstatic pleasure that’s possible for you.

Last week I did a masterclass called “3 Simple Steps to Mindblowing Sex”. The reason I wanted to do this is that there’s a lot of information, and definitely misinformation, out there, and it can be confusing to even know where to begin when it comes to having better sex. These are the three foundational steps. If you’re not having the kind of sex you’d like to be having, it all comes down to one of these three steps. You’re either not doing one of these things, you’re not doing one of these things enough, or you’re not doing one of these three things correctly. I also get to share with you something I’ve been working on for months! It’s a group coaching experience, called Better Sex in 90 Days. This is the most comprehensive, accessible program, that you could ever get to help you better your sex life. This takes the topics that I cover in the podcast, and gives you practical and workable ways to get the better sex that we all want, and making that part of who you are. The thing I’m most excited about for this program is because I really feel like something special happens when a group of women gathers and allow themselves to talk about something openly that has been off-limits for so long. When women start opening up and talking about it, you realize you’re not alone. To learn more, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/Step 1 - Have SexYou have to have sex if you want it to get betterThe main reasons women aren’t having sex: fear, not being committed to the outcome, having sex the wrong wayYour brain makes things scarier than they turn out to be, and that’s where the fear comes in. Fear of rejection, being awkward, embarrassed, or that things will not work out as planned. What are we making that mean?We let sex become optional.Thinking we have to be “in the mood” Sex can actually be a “want”, versus an obligationRemind yourself that you do want the bigger result of becoming a sexually pleasured woman.In the following episodes, I’ll be covering steps 2 and 3, “get out of your head, and into your body,” and “turn on your ons, and turn off your offs”. It has been my absolute pleasure sharing this with you and covering the foundation of how to have mindblowing sex. Remember to check out my 90-day group coaching, Better Sex in 90 Days if you want to take this work to the next level.

Despite all of the things happening in the world, there is still pleasure and the ability to listen in and learn how to get more pleasure. Obviously, we are in unique times in the world. So I really want to take this time to talk about how and what can we do to bring pleasure into our life if sex is off the table. Just because sex isn’t an option, we have to make sure that we aren’t disconnecting from ourselves and our sexuality. In this episode, I share the importance of redefining sex and foreplay, what it means to self-pleasure, and other ways to play and prioritize pleasure.I also want to let you know that I am doing a free masterclass, 3 Steps to Mindblowing Sex. In this class, I teach you the top 3 things you can focus on that will help you have amazing sex. Sometimes it can feel so complicated to have great sex, so I want to share with you the foundations of what it takes. This masterclass is for you if you’re not having sex, or if you’re having sex and want to take it to the next level. This is for all of you. To learn more and sign up, go to http://daniellesavory.com/masterclass/Topics in this episodeWe can all take time for pleasureThe cultural definition of sexGive yourself permission to expand your mindTaking sex off the table could actually be way more fun. Having the mindset that fun is a possibility Start with the mind. Let it be open to pleasure and let it be curious. What do I need to think and believe that’s going to create a sense of playfulness and curiosity?Self-pleasure vs masturbationIt’s been my absolute pleasure to share this episode with you. I hope it allows you to expand your mind that whether or not sex is on the table, pleasure is possible for you. Sometimes it may be more fun when we give ourselves permission to be creative in a different way.

It is a crazy time in our world right now, and I thought it was really important for me to get on and do this podcast. I think it is so easy for our brains to put sex on the back burner, especially when we’re experiencing something as life-altering as a pandemic. It is so important for us to remember in times like these is that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, is that pleasure is essential. In this episode, I share with you how to break out of the stress cycle and how to do so, how to respond when our brain is freaking out, and noticing our thoughts in order to change them to a thought that will serve us. The skills we build in this time will continue to train our brain for hard times to come, in regards to the pandemic, and after, which is why this is so important. Be sure to go to http://daniellesavory.com/ and sign up for my newsletter. I’ve been sending out some helpful resources during this time, and you don’t want to miss them. Topics in this episodeWhy sexual pleasure is so vital right nowHow the brain works under stressWhy a trigger feels that much harder when our brain is under stressWhen you’re in a more balanced place, you have a chance to connect with your body in a pleasurable wayOur brains have a negativity bias, and it will always default to the negative. Take your attention, on purpose, to focus on the goodThe lasting traits of sexual pleasure: connection, safety, and loveCreating space for more pleasure to happenIt’s been my pleasure as always to bring this to you all, and I hope it helps you find pleasure despite the pandemic. We can’t control what is happening in the world, but we can control how we think about it. In the midst of panic, this is always available to you, and I hope you can tap into your body this week and access it.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to work with me? Have you listened to the podcast and thought about the kind of transformation you could experience if you hired a sex coach? In this episode, I bring on one of my clients, Lindsay Dotzlaf, to discuss her experience of working with me, and the changes she’s gone through since hiring me to work with. I have many clients who come to me even when they are happy with their sex life, and this applied to Lindsay as well. She was having ok sex, but after hearing me talk, she knew it could be better. In our conversation, she shares the observations she was able to make about her sex life, the changes she implemented, and how her life has improved overall now that she is a more pleasured woman. Topics in this episode:What compelled Lindsay to reach out for coachingSex was an item on the to-do list and breaking out of that mindsetTaking away time from your business to work on something that was fine to begin withBeing resistant to scheduling sexDiscovering some undercover thoughtsWhat if this is something I want, just because I want it just for me?The play of pleasure, despite discomfortLindsay’s Contact Information:Website: https://www.lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LDotzCoaching/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf/It’s been my absolute pleasure some of my client’s insights and changes she’s gone through, and I hope it helps you find your own changes in your own sex life. I think so often you hear me talking about these concepts, but there’s a difference between hearing this information and actually working with someone on this. Integrating this into your own life can be amazing and transformative. If you are interested in taking this work further and deeper, and you know I’m the person you want to work with, go to http://daniellesavory.com/coaching/ and you can apply there. I am also excited to share with you that very soon I am going to be rolling out a group coaching program. It’s going to be the exact process I’ve been taking clients through, but this time it will be in a group setting. I think this gives you permission to open up, and it’s a safe space to be seen. There will only be a limited amount of spots open, so be sure to go to http://daniellesavory.com/ and join my mailing list so you know when it launches.

How easy would it be if we could all get a manual that showed us how to have great sex every time? This is essentially what Cosmo magazine has been doing since the start! I get asked my top tips and tricks for how to have better sex all the time. My response to these questions is that each one of us is wired very differently for pleasure. If I could give you a better sex life, I would! The main reason we feel pleasure is due to the wiring in our brains, and creating the structures that are conducive to pleasure, and being curious will lead to the results and mindblowing sex you want. You can sign up on my new website, http://daniellesavory.com/Topics in this episodeIt’s crucial that you do your own exploration and discovery so that you can find your own hot spots.The wiring in our brains can be changed with intention and practiceYour pleasure has less to do with your physiology, your mechanical responses, and more to do with your entire mental and emotional stateSo what does feel pleasurable? Curiosity. Responsiveness. Presence.Know the mechanics. You’ve got to know your body and what works and what doesn’t work, but you still have to allow yourself to fall into the flow of what is actually going on for you at that moment.Focus on being curious, instead of being “successful”It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you. I hope you enjoyed this episode of why a manual doesn’t work. It’s about understanding your body, but not being fixated on a mechanical process to follow. When you let go of the mindset of following a manual, you’re going to be able to fall more in love with the process and be able to follow pleasure.