Horror Movie Talk

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A tight premise excellently executed by one of the Whitest Kids You Know. This taut thriller ramps up to a wacky exploitational movie in such a unique way, it left me grinning from ear to ear. https://youtu.be/1rymTj1BGzY Synopsis Tess, played by Georgina Campbell, travels to Detroit to interview for a job. When she arrives in the middle of the night at her Airbnb rental, she discovers that it is already inhabited by a man that supposedly rented the house from another site. Despite being leery of the man , played by Bill Skarsgard, she comes inside to figure out what went wrong with the rental companies. The man , named Keith, is friendly, but perhaps overly friendly in addition to several other red flags. The longer Tess stays in the house, the more she discovers about Keith and the history of the house, to her detriment. Also, the Mac guy shows up. Review of Barbarian This movie is a wild ride, and honestly a contender for my favorite of the year. It is really a movie divided by two halves. One very grounded in reality with a slow burn building of suspense relating to interactions with strangers. The other, while still not paranormal, enters a heightened bizarro underground realm of debauchery and brutality. https://youtu.be/Dr89pmKrqkI This film reminded me of Malignant in that it pulled off the tone that Malignant utterly failed to deliver on. That being a taut mystery thriller evolving into an exploitational fun fest. The writer/director, Zach Cregger is mostly known from being a straight-man cast member in WKYK. He joins Jordan Peele as Sketch comedy graduate transformed into a horror prodigy When I say that I enjoyed this movie, I mean that I had many times where I laughed in delight about the writing, acting, and direction. I was smiling ear to ear at the end of the film. Score 10/10 https://youtu.be/zUqIv5PvbGk

We watched The Mummy from 1999 with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and were reminded of a simpler time, when unlimited double handguns were the solution to all of life’s little problems. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/fZE8jD6fiZg Synopsis In a story as old as time, grave robbing, gold digging, westerners invade the ancient city of Hamunaptra and steal the life and death savings of a napping Egyptian Pharaoh.  The Pharaoh, played by a man who should be named Billy Zane, but who is actually named Arnold Vosloo gets re-animated and seeks to re-animate his girlfriend so they can fuck from beyond the grave. Brendan Fraser has guns, a dashing smile, and a seething hatred of unspent shells. Rachel Weisz is a bookish librarian who is swept up in this action romp and soon gets more mummy than she bargained for. Review You’ve probably heard of Indiana Jones and Die Hard – well what if I was to tell you those movies birthed a third, superior movie starring Brendan Fraser?  You would say, “Fill me up, daddy!”  Then I would slam The Mummy into your VHS player and smack your mother in the face before I sent you to the underworld of ecstasy by hitting the “Play” button. The Mummy doesn’t give a shit what you think about reality. It sends an army of the undead and a swarm of Egyptian beetles called scarabs to eat you. Scarabs don’t eat you alive by burrowing under your skin, but The Mummy doesn’t give a shit. It wants you to sit down, shut up, and have a blast – and by god you will. It’s a movie that keeps it simple in the most impressive way possible. Any braindead dumb dumb can follow this plot, and that’s not a bad thing.  Fraser makes funny faces, and is so handsome that I am unsure of my sexuality. Watch The Mummy (1999) Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Watch Weisz reaffirms my sexuality by speaking Hebrew while showing bountiful cleavage. Beni makes for an appropriate slime ball helper to evil incarnate. There’s blazing guns, exploding mummies, sexy mommies, bugs that eat you from the inside out, angry Americans, ugly Americans, and CGI from 1999.  What kind of red blooded white female would I be if I scored this any lower than a 10/10? Score 10/10 Disc Review Check out Max’s podcast on Youtube.

Howdy pardners and pardnettes, it’s time to join the rodeo and review Bone Tomahawk. It’s going to be a rootin tootin good time. Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram. Synopsis In the sleepy old west town of Bright Hope, it is anything but, as the town doctor is kidnapped by a band of indigenous cave dwellers that even the (other?) Native Americans think are savages. Kurt Russel’s Sherriff Hunt leads a band of men on a rescue mission made up of his elderly assistant deputy played by Richard Jenkins, the arrogant Gunslinger Brooder played by Mathew Fox, and The doctor’s lame husband played by Patrick Wilson. Actually lame, his leg is broke. He’s actually a pretty cool dude. They make their way through the frontier to find the territory of the Troglodytes, and find out that the stories of their savagery are if anything underselling it.  https://youtu.be/0ZbwtHi-KSE Review of Bone Tomahawk This film is one of a few in the genre of Western Horror, and few if any reach the quality of this film.  The film is effective in it’s simplicity. It’s a rescue mission ala The Searchers. You have the set of archetypal characters that are thrown together by situation and duty, and several dilemmas and power struggles along the journey to find the location of the savages. Bone Tomahawk Poster When they get to the Troglodyte Territory, the tone takes a sharp turn into straight up torture porn horror.  The mission goes from the guys in white hats will surely win, to oh no… oh nonono.  While the first half of the movie drags a little, I think it’s necessary to set up the characters and give contrast to the horror at the end of the film. One scene in particular stands out so much that it’s basically become a meme as “that scene” in Bone Tomahawk. For good reason. It will stick with you, and if you are a man, you will especially feel something. Score 8/10 Bone Tomahawk Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy https://youtu.be/VHDyu1o2nAg

We watched Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 on Prime and found a not often talked about sequel that pis the epitome of everything 80’s horror. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/rd427TjMGxI Synopsis Doctor Channard is the lead doctor in charge of an insane asylum.  Kirsty, the protagonist from the original Hellraiser is fresh out of her experience in the first movie and is sent to Doctor Channard’s asylum.  She warns of terrible creatures that killed her family, known as the Cenobites.  Coincidentally, Doctor Channard has been searching for the Cenobites and a doorway to hell for quite a while. As Doc Channard heads to hell Kirsty follows him to try to … save? … her family? Everyone gets more hell than they bargained for. Review Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 is one of the craziest horror movies I have ever seen, and that’s saying something. Hellbound came out a mere year after the original, in 1988, and managed to be a pretty coherent and disturbing ride.  While some of the plot is a little obtuse and hard to follow, it’s made up for with some of the gnarliest gore, and craziest worldbuilding I’ve seen in a long time.  Remember when movies would come out of real left field places and smack you in the face with stuff you’ve never thought of before? Well, Hellbound is determined to pummel you with that kind of thing until you relent. Watch Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 Buy or Stream on Amazon Click Here to Watch This sequel leans heavily on the original, including a lot of the most effective special effects and scenes from the first Hellraiser, which ends up being amazing because that first movie is great! Hellbound goes even further than the original in some of the more disturbing imagery and suggestive scenes. I found myself closing my eyes during one scene where I just didn’t want to have to see what was happening anymore. I wasn’t checking my watch throughout my viewing of Hellbound, and i had such a blast with all the crazy concepts that this has catapulted itself into one of my very favorite 80’s horror movies. A tremendous amount of this film relies on the concept of medical malpractice and a shrugging of ethics being scary, which finds a new foothold today. While the plot is a little strained, this is the stuff that a true 80’s horror fan will cream their pants over. Score 9/10

Much like disposable tupperware, Orphan: First Kill rebels against the idea of a one-use premise. It ends up being the latest entry in the “meh” cinematic universe (MCU). https://youtu.be/mCa51cjcDNE Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram. Synopsis Orphan First Kill is a prequel to 2009’s Orphan, that starred, then 10 year old Isabelle Fuhrman. Now a fully grown adult woman, she is reprising her role as Esther, a thirty something year old psychopathic proportional dwarf posing as an 8-9 year old girl. In this film, we are shown how Esther escapes an Estonian mental facility and poses as an American family’s lost daughter. As time goes on, the family has more questions about Esther, and Esther has more questions about the family. Hjinks ensue. https://youtu.be/_uX6of3vBu0 Orphan: First Kill Trailer Review of Orphan: First Kill This is not a good movie, it’s not a bad movie, it’s meh. The film is directed by William Brent Bell, who directed The Boy and The Boy 2, which should set your expectations squarely in the Meh cinematic universe. I do applaud the plotting of the film, it unlocks the puzzle of how to reuse a one use premise.  Here’s the elephant in the room. Isabelle Fuhrman is not 10 years old any more. No matter the amount of camera angles and the de-aging they use, she still looks like a full grown woman. It doesn’t detract from the film nearly as much as you would expect, but it is a bizarre choice nonetheless. Would you film a Home Alone Prequel with a fully grown Macaulay Culkin? The saving grace of the film is the twist around the middle of the film. It does add an interesting dynamic, and saves it from being a true rehash. Overall, you get what you expect. A little psychopath that kills a lot of people. Score 5/10 Orphan: First Kill Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We watched The Ring and were treated to one of the most impressive and scary PG-13 movies ever made. https://youtu.be/yzR2GY-ew8I The Ring can be streamed with a Paramount + subscription, or for a nominal rental fee wherever movies are found. Synopsis A videotape that has the power to kill those who view it seems to be at the center of a string of four teenage deaths.  Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) is a newspaper reporter who becomes interested in these deaths and takes it on herself to follow up.  After she views the tape, Rachel begins to find herself being pulled deeper and deeper down the proverbial rabbit hole that seems to look a lot like a dark and ominous well. Will Rachel be able to crack the story of how this video tape works or will she get more dead little girls than she bargained for? Review Directed by Gore Verbinski, The Ring is the American Remake of the Japanese 1998 film, Ringu. Gore went on to direct all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, along with a few more big Disney projects. The Ring was a tentpole classic horror movie almost as soon as it was released in 2002.  The creepy concept of a video tape that kills was too much for anyone to resist, and the fact that the tape itself is viewed by the audience makes it so much more titillating. The tone of The Ring is deadly serious, and it lands just right in the quiet of your darkened home on a Friday night. It feels morose and hopeless and creepy beyond compare.  The tape is so dark and disturbing, but so vague that it taps into some gross center of things that people fear.  Watch The Ring Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Watch on Amazon The heavy lifting in The Ring is left up to the sound design, which is absolutely perfect. So much of this movie is quiet and muted in terms of the ambiance, and the jump scares are so pronounced and shrill that it places you squarely on the edge of your seat and keeps you there. The iconic sound of the video is so unique and terrifying that I can hear it echoing in my nightmares to this day.  Naomi Watts and Martin Henderson are so beautiful to look at that it’s hard not to worry that they might die at any moment, but somehow it makes sense that the thing to kill them would be a videotape. There are few movies that are held in such high regard as The Ring, which has everything to do with it’s ability to resonate eerie terror to all those who watch it. That said, I have always thought, even on my first viewing that at a 1:55:00 runtime it’s a little long-winded. The movie certainly takes it’s time to slowly unwind the mystery or what happened to Samara. Much of the Samara storyline seems extraneous in an otherwise nearly perfect movie. Score 9/10

Remember that hilarious Jordan Peele from sketch comedy shows like Mad TV and Key & Peele? Well he decided to make a movie, and I’m sure it’s going to be… hilarious. Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram. Synopsis Chris Washington, played by Daniel Kaluuya, is taking a vacation with his girlfriend to meet her family. Played by Allison Williams, his girlfriend Rose convinces Chris that her family will be perfectly fine with her dating a black man despite the fact that she never told them about his race. The weekend begins pleasant, albeit slightly awkward. However as time goes on, Chris notices weird behavior from the black employees of the family. Chris becomes suspicious that something is wrong, but before he can GET OUT, he’s caught in the family’s trap and has to escape a fate worse than death. https://youtu.be/DzfpyUB60YY Review of Get Out Get Out is Jordan Peele’s first film as a writer/director and he delivered way beyond expectations given his sketch comedy background. Peele turns out to be an expert at building tension while utilizing, and commenting on latent racial tension in the US.  https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2022/07/27/nope-review/ I distinctly remember seeing the trailer in the movie theater and was immediately delighted by the implied premise of the film, that the scariest thing to a young black man, is…white people. It really is impressive how this film gives a really nuanced social commentary on what it is like to experience racism. Peele didn’t choose the easy target of right wing southern whites as the danger to Chris, he specifically used an affluent “New York liberal type” family. It expresses the false sense of security of a masked racism right below the surface that others and marginalizes black people. The quality of this commentary is really magnified by all of the racial allegory horror movies that have come out since. Just watch Antebellum or the Candyman remake to see how blunt these allegories can be. Score 10/10 Get Out Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We watched Cabin Fever on Hulu and were reminded of a simpler time when Eli Roth was allowed to make movies. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/rHlc5aUSgUI Synopsis Karen (Jordan Ladd), Paul (Rider Strong), Bert (James DeBello), Marcy (Cerina Vincent), and Jeff (Joey Kern) are college students heading out into the – you guessed it – woods.  They are heading to the woods to – you guessed it – party. They are partying at a – you guessed it – cabin.  They get sick with a – you guessed it – fever. Everyone gets more Cabin Fever than they bargained for. Review With that extremely simple synopsis you would think that Cabin Fever wouldn’t be anything special, but you’d be wrong. Simple is often exactly what is called for, and this is no exception. Cabin Fever is Writer/Director Eli Roth’s first full feature length directorial effort and is probably the reason he has become known as one of the modern horror greats of today. It’s a movie so full of horror tropes and homages that on paper it seems like it should fade into the background with every other generic horror effort. But Cabin Fever stands out. Cabin Fever stands out because it knows what’s funny, it knows what’s campy, and it knows what scares you.  Stream Cabin Fever Watch on Amazon Click here to Buy or Rent We get to see Roth’s early takes on edgy dialog and non-politically correct character, which seems to draw inspiration from Tarantino’s work. What Cabin Fever does really well is tap into people’s innate fear of infection and sickness. The concepts behind this fast moving disease are alarming and are something we are now all intimately familiar with following the pandemic. Being helpless in the face of the suffering and death of your friends is a truly heinous concept, and Roth is able to balance this serious terror with lightness and humor in all the right ways. As a result, Cabin Fever works it’s way into a fond place in any horror fan’s memories in much the same way Hostel (Roth’s second directorial effort) does.  Score 8/10

Prey takes the Predator franchise back to it’s roots by focusing on a mano a mano fight to the death. However, what this film does even better than the original is create a compelling protagonist with a clear character arc. Synopsis Prey is set in 1719 in the Comanche nation. Our protagonist, Naru is a young woman that wants to prove herself as a capable hunter by going through kühtaamia, a coming of age hunt between a Comanche and an animal Predator. As she struggles to prove herself, she discovers through her tracking skills that mountain lions and bears (oh my) aren’t the only big game in the land. An alien Predator has been dropped off to complete a similar hunt and inevitably clashes with Naru (and her little dog too). https://youtu.be/wZ7LytagKlc Review of Prey Prey is the fifth in the franchise of standalone Predator movies. 7th if you include the AVP movies, but let’s not talk about those. So it’s taken 3 movies and 35 years to get back to the basic premise of a primarily  mano a mano fight between an outmatched human protagonist and the Predator in the wilderness. It’s almost like someone identified what worked in the original movie, and… used that information to make a good movie. Although very similar in plot, this isn’t a direct remake. Writers Patrick Aison and Dan Trachtenberg made some very interesting changes in the setup that further accentuate what works in the original. Instead of a roided up Arnold, we get a diminutive, yet ferocious Naru. Instead of a modern setting with giant guns and explosives, Naru only has use of primitive weapons. Everything works with this film. Mostly it comes down to the writers and director keeping it simple. They use the tried and true hero’s journey template and add enough set piece action sequences at the right times in the story to maintain interest. The story never strays far from the perspective of the protagonist, so it feels intimate and gives the audience one person to really root for. The writing, directing, and acting is all great. There is very little to distract from the enjoying the film. If you are a fan of the original Predator, you will really enjoy this film, but not feel pandered to. Score 10/10 Predator Collection Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We watched The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence and were treated to one of the most lauded gross-out flicks in recent memory. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/GpcCJ8ozirU Synopsis This is the unfortunate story of Martin, a diminutive, quiet, and overweight lad who doesn’t fancy senseless chit-chat. Martin is a nightshift parking lot attendant who has an obsession with the movie, The Human Centipede: First Sequence.  He fantasizes about someday creating his own human centipede, larger and more fleshed out than the one depicted in the movie.  Martin’s life is depraved in every way that you can imagine. His mother hates him for having his father put away for sexually molesting him. His therapist wants to molest him. His neighbor wants to kill him. One day Martin snaps. Everyone gets more poop mouth than they bargained for. Review The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence is a meta sequel to, you guessed it, The Human Centipede. Martin obsesses over the first movie, and for that, I kind of love this sequel. It’s not just the meta take that’s fun, it’s the insanity of the whole thing done with a smile and a wink. It’s absolutely depraved because it feels like a place and a person and a life that could exist.  With this sequel director Tom Six set out to give “true horror fans” a movie worthy of total disgust. In this he delivers, I would definitely place this among the grossest movies I’ve ever watched right along side, Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood, and The Sadness.  Watch The Human Centipede 2 Watch on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy The enjoyment of The Human Centipede 2 lies in the shock value and the commitment to depravity. The version we watched was in black and white, which added a whole other level of gritty grossness to the already disgusting experience.  There were more than a few moments where the comedy in this shown through the waves of nausea and I laughed out loud with shocked disgust.  I admire this movie for what it is, an attempt to make you watch it through your fingers. Most people will find this movie to be absolutely uncalled for and totally devoid of entertainment value – it’s not for those people. The genius part about The Human Centipede 2 is that it uses those people who shouldn’t be watching it as a siren song to get to those who should be watching it.  The Human Centipede 2 exists, and that’s enough for me. For the seasoned horror fan, this isn’t a scary movie in terms of being thrilled or startled, it’s scary because of what it puts in your soul. Score 6/10

Jordan Peele’s third outing as a horror film writer/director, Nope, continues his trajectory as one of the best horror filmmakers of a generation. In Nope, he turns the trope of a UFO on it’s head and makes it a truly terrifying presence. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis After a freak accident involving falling objects from the sky kills their father, OJ (Daniel Kaluuya) and Emerald Heywood (Keke Palmer) are left to manage the struggling family ranch of trained horses. As horses start disappearing, a strange object in the sky seems to be the culprit. OJ and Emerald decide to capitalize on the opportunity by filming the UFO.  https://youtu.be/In8fuzj3gck Review of Nope This is Jordan Peele’s third horror movie that he’s written and directed, and he’s already established himself as one of the most interesting voices in the genre. I know that I was looking forward to seeing this one ever since I saw the trailer. What’s most interesting about this film is that it takes the popular concept of a UFO as mysterious and clinically detached, and makes it personal and menacing. It’s a very eclectic movie with a lot of seemingly disparate storylines and characters, and in the end ties them together nicely. It’s got killer chimps, the Hollywood film industry, family tragedy, sibling relationships, and more all contributing to the story of what this UFO is and why it is there. At the center of the film is the relationship between OJ and Emerald. It’s a mix of button pushing, comfort, frustration, and love that comes from being siblings. OJ is a stoic introvert driven by duty, and Emerald is an ambitious extrovert, looking to make a mark in the world. Their contrast and the resulting relationship really grounds the film by giving it heart. Nope Poster This film melds Peele’s weird and unique sensibilities from US with Spielbergian spectacle. There is genuine off-putting menace throughout, but especially in the third act, there are some undeniably fun and exciting sequences. My only gripe is that the runtime is a little long and seems to meander a bit in the middle. Some of the story elements like Stephen Yuen’s character and the monkey attack are nice for color, but don’t have a very satisfying payoff. Overall this movie is a genuinely good time, and well worth the trip to the theater Score 9/10 Sinister Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Horrorrble Videos (NSFL) https://www.reddit.com/r/weirdvideosfor3am/comments/qypr2j/practical_fetish/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/w3pqfa/man_gets_run_over_by_train/ https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/w1uk5v/a_truly_hungry_seagull/ https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/vzsovc/someone_deploys_an_excavator_for_rock_splitting/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/vx7mgz/guy_wraps_rocks_with_copper_wire_and_throws_them/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/vya8se/that_mustve_burnt_like_a_mf/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/vt04ev/guy_sitting_on_the_couch_gets_a_k9_to_the_face/

We watched Vampire’s Kiss on Vudu and it was a delightful window into the soul of one of the most impressive, interesting, and entertaining actors of our age, Nic Cage. https://youtu.be/PnoSxO_2ghQ Synopsis Publishing executive Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage) is bitten by a woman and starts acting erratically. Believing that he is being controlled by his vampire mistress puts a great deal of stress and pressure on Peter. As he deals with the stress of this new vampire relationship, Peter leans more and more heavily on his poor secretary, Alva (Maria Conchita Alonso).  As Peter’s madness evolves, it becomes questionable to the audience exactly what is real and what is Peter’s rapidly devolving mental state. Everyone gets more Nicolas Cage than they bargained for. Review Vampire’s Kiss is an anomaly of a movie. It’s not exactly a terrifying horror movie due to the strong overtones of comedy within Cage’s performance. On the other hand it’s not exactly a feel good romp due to the very serious mental decline of Peter, our protagonist turned antagonist and extremely unreliable narrator. It’s a dark comedy that will delight those who want to be taken on a crazy ride.  Vampire’s Kiss strongest feature is the insane performance given by Nic Cage. He creates such a believably crazy character that you can’t help but remember bumping into people just like him on public transportation and wondering, what is their life like. Watch Vampire’s Kiss Watch on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy The best part is, you get to see what his life is like. It’s touched, tragic, and totally bonkers. I can’t help but feel like writer Joseph Minion spent some time on the New York subway watching mentally disturbed people and began posing the question to himself, “what brought that person to this unfortunate place? What was their life like before and during their transition into madness?” This is pretty much the only notable directing credit that director Robert Bierman has, and that astonishes me. It’s such a weirdly enjoyable movie and shares so much in common with one of my favorite movies of all time, American Psycho that I can’t help but see all the inspiration that Vampire’s Kiss has given to more recent dark comedy movies. Score 8/10

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Before Sarah Michele Gellar, Kristy Swanson brought Joss Whedon’s iconic vampire slaying heroine to the silver screen. Does this 90s relic hold up to scrutiny sans nostalgia? listen to our latest episode to find out. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis Buffy the Vampire Slayer, before she was an iconic television heroine was first found on the silver screen starring Kristy Swanson. Considering this movie is 30 years old, I’m not sure many people remember it, let alone the WB television show. However, Joss Whedon, it’s writer is well known, having written and directed some of the highest grossing films of all time in the last decade. Buffy in this film is the stereotypical Valley Girl of the 90s. The type that opened Sir Mix a Lot’s hit single of the same year “I Like Big Butts”. She is vapid, dumb, and flaky. When an infestation of vampires begin to invade LA and her high schools Hawthorne High, a mysterious man in a trench coat named Merrick shows up. Merrick informs Buffy that she has been chosen to be the latest in a long line of vampire hunters throughout history. Buffy has no interest, but she finds she has a natural knack for Slaying. She decides to team up with Merrick and train so that she can defeat Lothos, the ancient vampire that is the leader of the cause of the recent uptick in vampire activity. https://youtu.be/pnZkV_aR_9w Review of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) I have a lot of nostalgia for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watched it several times in the 90s as a prepubescent little fat kid. I remember it having some iconic performances and moments, but upon checking the Rotten Tomatoes critics score, it sits at 36%. Was I so out of touch? No, it’s the critics who are wrong. Watching it yesterday, I tried to put off nostalgia and be unbiased. It has some good bones. There are some great performances and Joss Whedon’s writing does shine through, but it is bogged down by poor direction. Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Paul Rubens, Rutger Hauer, and Luke Perry all bring the appropriate amount of gravitas and goofiness that the high concept screenplay demands. The dialogue is top notch, creating compelling characters while placing it squarely in 90s LA. Where it has problems is when it comes to establishing stakes (no pun intended) and establishing the lore in a compelling way. This is often blamed on changes made to Joss Whedon’s original script, which resulted in him walking away from the set halfway through production. In a comic book series called Buffy the Vampire Slayer The Origin, you can read the original vision Joss Whedon had for the film. It really is nearly identical except for a few key scenes. Where the film starts to fall apart is the choppy and sometimes confusing editing and direction. It’s clear that the studio and/or director wanted to de-emphasize the darker elements of the story and focus more on the light hearted comedic aspects. What they didn’t understand is that those dark moments help to sell the comedy and make it a much more compelling film if executed right. The stakes are never truly established, because we’re never shown that Buffy particularly cares about her school or any of her other similarly vapid friends. We are given scant details of the main villain, and when the main confrontations occur, they seem arbitrary and rushed. In the end, while it still holds a special place in my heart, I can see the flaws in the movie, and it’s just aight. Score 4/10 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We watched Resolution on Tubi and were treated to something so meta that Facebook might have a case against them. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/6-5uBCIA94c Synopsis Mike (Peter Cilella) heads out into the country to force his friend Chris (Vinny Curran) to quit his stimulant abuse after receiving a video of him deep in the depths of psychosis. Upon arriving at Chris’ domicile, Mike starts noticing lots of weird doings transpiring.  After chaining Chris to the wall, the two close friends hunker down and start reliving their relationship to everyone’s chagrin. As Mike begins to delve deeper into Chris’ world and the rural area around the house, he keeps noticing strange occurrences that indicate they are being watched. What is watching Mike and Chris, and how will this movie end? Review A couple months ago I watched The Endless – another movie that was written and directed by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead. It blew me away. I heard that Resolution was the first movie that they made, and it tied in to The Endless. Having watched The Endless before Resolution made the experience a lot more enjoyable and interesting.  As a stand alone film, Resolution is fairly interesting and compelling. It’s essentially a drama with a lot of sinister mystery thrown in for good measure.  Watch Resolution (2013) Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Buy or Rent Being a fairly paranoid person, a lot of the feelings conveyed in this movie are familiar to me.  Most of what Resolution explores is the complexities of addiction, and what it means to find meaning in life. Sometimes meaning is what we make of it, and sometimes the world provides us with the bump we needed to wish we had done more with what we had. Alone, it’s not a groundbreaking movie, but it does do a lot in terms of meta winking and suggestions. While not as in-your-face with the meta as Scream, the narrative in this is so meta that it’s a little daunting to fully appreciate. It’s a perfect movie to follow up The Endless which is one of my favorite horror movies in years. Score 7/10

If you want to feel stranger danger, look no further than Scott Derrickson’s new film The Black Phone in theaters now. This well constructed and acted supernatural thriller is well worth your time. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis Pretty much all you need to know is in the trailer. In the late 70s in North Denver, there is a spate of missing children. Rumors abound of a predator named “the Grabber”. Finney, the protagonist, is either a popular baseball pitcher, or a shy weakling who is picked on by bullies. He is soon grabbed by the grabber, played by Ethan Hawk in a mask channeling Pennywise the clown. His sister Gwen has a touch of the shinning, and has dreams about where the Grabber takes his victims. While Finney is locked in the Grabbers basement, the disconnected BLACK PHONE in the room receives calls from the previous victims of the grabber from beyond the grave. Finney must work to free himself using the knowledge given to him from the phone and using his own wits. https://youtu.be/3eGP6im8AZA Review of The Black Phone This is a very capable film. It feels very much like a Stephen King story, which makes sense, since the original story was written by his son Joe Hill. It is directed by Scott Derrickson, who previously directed Sinister and the Exorcism of Emily Rose. This is to say that The Black Phone is in capable hands. A lot is given away in the trailer, which is unfortunate, but the film has some good twists and turns and ends up being compelling and engaging throughout. The biggest pleasant surprise is the quality of the acting from the young cast. Especially Mason Thames who plays Finney, and Madeleine McGraw who plays Gwen, and has some of the best lines in the film. The first act does a very good job of creating a compelling three dimensional character in Finney. His life isn’t all roses, having to deal with an alcoholic abusive father along with school yard bullies. We are shown that Finney is empathetic, strong, and capable, but doesn’t fight for himself. He seems to survive day to day depending on friendships and his relationship with his little sister. This sets up a compelling character arc that seems natural and satisfying in the end. There isn’t a lot of time spent on the Grabber. He is more of a presence and more of a looming threat than an active participant for most of the film. I would have liked to see them do more with him. There was ample opportunity to go very dark, and I was a little surprised given Derricksons previous films that there wasn’t more done to show what The Grabber did with his previous victims. This might have upped the stakes a little and made The Grabber a more indelible villain. Overall, it was a very enjoyable movie, and exceeded my expectations. Score 8/10 Sinister Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Horrorrble Videos (NSFL) https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/unki6m/camera_guy_gave_no_fucks/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/uik0hy/bzzzt_nsfw/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/vji12g/hes_lit/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/v178p9/human_fountain/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/vj6k5u/watch_your_head/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/und4y7/man_drops_deuce_with_a_layup/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/v6mvaf/the_joys_of_skateboarding/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/v5p28d/bazinga/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/vj7413/when_your_legs_dont_walk_like_they_used_to_before/ https://www.reddit.com/r/perfectlycutscreams/comments/v1nn5q/a_slick_of_sunshine_never_hurt_nobody_lets_get/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CatastrophicFailure/comments/uz2xe4/in_dagestan_the_car_suddenly_fell_into_the_ground/

We watched Constantine on HBO Max and I realized that I had a bunch of unfounded ill-will toward this movie, which is pretty good. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/DEa508Xmmio Synopsis Constantine is about John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), a DC character whose job is essentially to send demons back to hell. Or at least he made it his job when he realized that he was heading there. He is approached by Angela (Rachel Weisz) and asked to help her prove that her twin sister didn’t commit suicide. As a devout Catholic, Angela realizes that if her sister did actually commit suicide she damned herself to hell. With the help of his plucky sidekick, Chas (Shia LaBeouf) and some of his friends, John is on the case.  He finds himself in the middle of a war where the Devil’s son, Mammon, is trying to unleash himself into the world of the living.  Everyone gets more holy hand grenades than they bargained for. Review Constantine is a pretty impressive movie in a couple different ways. Firstly, it had a large budget and was able to spend a lot of it on CGI monsters and backdrops, which wouldn’t normally be a plus. But this CGI from 2005 actually holds up quite well.  It also has enough action and interesting characters to keep you involved in the movie from beginning to end. In fact, the Angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton) and Satan (Peter Stormare) are some of the best depictions of well-known Bible characters that I’ve ever seen on screen. Constantine doesn’t dwell on the origin story, while still acknowledging it, which is a breath of fresh air in today’s hyper-cookie-cutter style comic book movie world. By the end of Constantine, if you are bought in on the story the payoff will be pretty impressive.It’s not without fault, however. This movie came out two years after The Matrix trilogy concluded, and it feels like a direct port of that series in a lot of ways. From the stylized world to the monotone color pallet to starring Keanu as the savior of mankind – it’s uh, kind of obvious.  Also, it was originally touted as a horror movie and I can see where it threw in scary imagery and concepts to try and please the horror crowd. Make no mistake, this is not what I would call a “hard-horror movie”. This is an action-thriller that dealt with some of the scarier elements of religion, and the studio figured they could get a bigger audience if they could draw the horror crowd. This was my issue with the movie when I originally watched it on the bigscreen. Overall, it’s a pretty fun movie that I would watch again after a few years. It was a much better Catholic horror movie than The Nun, so there’s that. Score 7/10 Watch Constantine Watch on Amazon Click here to Rent or Stream Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.

Mad God is the new Phil Tippett stop motion animation movie available exclusively on Shudder. In this Patreon only review, we talk a lot about this movie and what we loved and hated about it. To support our show and gain access to the following Patreon only Pretentious reviews, support us on Patreon! Movies you can only hear us review on Patreon: Mad God (2022) The Vanishing Cat People (1942) Zombie (1979) Cemetery Man (1994) Psycho The Last House on the Left (1972) Don’t Look Now The Void Hausu (House) Ghoulies Greenland Army of the Dead Cabin in the Woods Dead Alive / Braindead Basket Case

For Pride month this year, we decided to review a great LGBTQ+ horror movie. Saying Stranger By The Lake is a horror movie, is pretty generous, since it is more on the light end of thriller. But what it lacks in horror, it makes up in homoeroticism. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis At a French lake, Franke spends his summer days cruising for gay sex. Along the way he befriends the pudgy middle-aged depressive Henri who is ostensibly bisexual, but has no interest in sex, but provides good conversation. Franke sees a gay French Tom Selleck-type at the lake named Michel and is instantly attracted to him. Michel seems to be involved with someone else, but when Franke spies Michel drowning his presumed boyfriend, Franke decides to shoot his shot.  https://youtu.be/kG4py4khTEM Review of Strange By The Lake (L’inconnu du lac) This is an understated erotic thriller that could also be considered a black comedy. It explores themes of lust, relationships, commitment, loyalty, hot hot steamy cock. This was on a list of “gay horror films” that I came across, and I hadn’t heard it, but the set up seemed intriguing. A man witnesses a murder, but decides “doesn’t matter, still got laid”. It is an engaging thriller, but calling it a horror movie is being pretty generous with the genre. The last 10 mins or so could be considered horror, but the bulk of the film is mostly drama. By drama, I mean explicit, unsimulated gay sex. To say that there is gay sex in this movie is an understatement. It is basically soft core gay porn for a good 60% of the film. In past episodes, we have advocated for more full frontal male nudity, and more sex in films. Well, be careful what you wish for. I’ll admit that most of my enjoyment came from knowing that I was forcing David to watch this, because if I had known how hard it would go, I probably wouldn’t have suggested it. However, I actually really liked this film. Like I said it is understated in that it says a lot with a few words. The script is very tight, and the characters intriguing. The acting is great, and a lot is communicated through glances and silences. Score 7/10 Stranger By The Lake Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We went and saw Crimes of the Future and witnessed David Cronenberg‘s return to body horror in one of the most upsetting films of the year. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/xyCI741MqPY Synopsis Crimes of the Future is a story about the far flung future, where the earth has succumb to environmental havoc wreaked on it by the human race. Humanity has been treated with pain-killers for so long that the concept of physical pain is novel.  Our protagonists are Saul Tensor (Viggo Mortensen) and Caprice (Léa Seydoux), who’s art is performative surgery that seems to be extremely sexual in nature.  Saul Tensor is like a portion of humanity who finds himself growing auxiliary organs that make his life extremely uncomfortable. From eating to sleeping, Saul never finds himself far from discomfort, which is strange, given how much of humanity seems to experience so little in terms of feeling that they intentionally mutilate themselves to feel anything at all. A young child named Brecken is murdered by his mother for eating a plastic trash can in the opening scene of this movie. A complicated game of cat and mouse between a shady government agency and a splinter cell of candybar aficionados takes place surrounding Brecken’s death. Does art imitate life? Will humanity embrace their inevitable evolution?  Review Crimes of the Future is the result of 50 years of doom and gloom reporting on humanities shaping of our environment. This future is one that you’ve had visions of every time you hear a news report of the trash island in the Pacific. A humanity made perverse by its own inability to react to itself. More than that, this is a return to intense body horror for renowned writer, director David Cronenburg.  I have to admit, Crimes of the Future hones in on my most intense personal terror – surgical imagery. I first found this personal weakness in the fourth grade when my teacher went into vivid detail in describing how doctors removed her brain tumor. I felt sweaty and weak, and soon passed out on my desk. Watch Crimes of the Future Watch on Amazon Click Here to Buy or Rent Since then, I’ve come a long way in my ability to deal with thoughts and descriptions of surgery. Crimes of the Future cracked me by fusing surgery with sexuality and kink. There is something so perverse in the concept of sexualizing voluntary surgery that i found myself sweating and my vision blurring like I was back in the fourth grade. The world that Crimes of the Future takes place in is so bleak and sad, I found myself wishing that the movie would end. The concepts within are terribly interesting and well-presented. Questions like, “What is natural?” and “How do you deal with admiration if the thing that people admire about you is what you most hate about yourself?” crop up all over this masterpiece. There is no shortage of thought-provoking concepts and questions to keep your head busy for ages. I can honestly say that I’ve never felt this uncomfortable watching a movie that Horror Movie Talk has reviewed. I can say that the most uncomfortable parts for me were within the first and second act. I contemplated leaving the theater after a particular scene, but I’m glad I didn’t because the end had less revolting content and more interesting questions. A worthwhile movie that is sure to make you feel uncomfortable on a variety of levels. While it’s not as universally relatable as the performance given by Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, it’s very close to it. Score 9/10

This film is the epitome of body horror, done by the master of body horror: David Cronenberg. If you have never seen The Fly, you’ll definitely be saying to yourself “Ew, David”. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis Jeff Goldblum plays Seth Brundle, a brilliant scientist that has successfully developed a working transporter. When he shows it to Geena Davis’ Veronica Quaife there are still a few kinks to work out with transporting living tissue. Vis-à-vis keeping the insides in. In an impulsive moment, after he corrects the issue, he decided to transport himself as the first human subject. However, he was so preoccupied with whether he could, and didn’t stop to think if he should. As time goes on, he slowly realizes that something went wrong and his body experiences a terrifying metamorphosis.  https://youtu.be/bdB02IufaW0 Review of The Fly (1986) The Fly still works. David Cronenberg, the director, has made his career off of pushing the limits, and in this movie, by doing so, he creates one of the best body horror movies ever filmed. This film won an Oscar for best makeup for good reason. Seth Brundle’s slow transformation moves from the superficial to the grotesque so gradually, that you still think of him as a man even when he becomes a straight up monster. That is actually a big benefit to the film, because you maintain empathy for an utterly disgusting creature up to the final shot of the film. Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum work really well together, and have excellent chemistry on screen, which makes sense because they eventually married for several years. Davis’ performance really grounds the film for the audience, because we are really watching all of the events of the film from the perspective of Veronica Quaife. Her reactions of wonder and horror really sells the special effects that we witness. Jeff Goldblum is the perfect casting for a mad scientist, as the character’s eccentricities are utterly believable coming from him. Although, I have to say, this is only about 50% Goldbluhm compared to how eccentric he is today. Overall, the story, characters and special effects are all masterful and don’t age a bit in the 36 years since its release. Score 10/10 The Fly Collection Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Horrorrble Videos (NSFL) https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/uf2rj7/my_jewels_hurt_watching_this/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/ueaxu5/estimulate_your_senses/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/udt566/cranium/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/ubzk3w/russian_powerlifter_squatting_400kg_snapping_both/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/uh5ptl/just_randomly_giving_birth_on_a_street_not_a_big/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/uhdm55/whip_lash/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/uh9niu/lets_have_a_closer_look_from_ledge/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/uisl0f/this_man_aint_right/?ref=share&ref_source=link

We went and saw Men and, for most men it will be a similar viewing experience to staring into a mirror for an hour and a half. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/HKJ4Thgk1Js Synopsis Men is a movie about a woman named Harper (Jessie Buckley), because of course you can’t have men without women – or can you? Harper has recently lost her husband to a fit of passion that looks an awful lot like a spiteful suicide on his part. She has decided to take a vacation in the countryside to get her wits about herself and is met by a bunch of MEN. These MEN range from pleasantly goofy to downright terrifying. One through line with all the MEN she encounters is that they are all somewhat simple, aloof, or pleasantly dimwitted. There is one exception to that rule in the priest. As her stay in the countryside progresses she is visited by a spectre of manhood, and her experiences become increasingly more surreal and alarming. She calls the police to help her, but the police department is full of MEN. As things spiral out of control, the audience is given a barrage of horrendous body horror that is clearly meant to depict the female/male dichotomy in the most unpleasant ways imaginable. Harper definitely gets more MEN than she bargained for. Review Men is an interesting movie and the third full length feature film that writer, director Alex Garland has made. Because it was made by a man, I feel comfortable saying that its pretty accurate. Although, it’s somewhat problematic that Garland assumes to know what the female perspective is, which could be said to be his inherent male privilege shining through. Men is an attempt to satirize males and give the audience a reference point for what it might be like living as a woman. It takes symbolism to the next level by starting as a straight ahead narrative story that slowly morphs into a nightmare of dreamlike sequences that can’t possibly be real. It shares a lot in common with the recent Finish movie Hatching (Pahanhautoja) in that it is an allegory that will probably be the hardest to watch for those who would most benefit from it. There are undeniable truths within the subtle feelings provided by Men that are so on-the-nose that they can’t be summed up in words. Watch Men Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Watch Many will take issue with this movie for a variety of reasons, but the only issue I have with it is the title. By titling this movie “Men” it betrays a bias, and others those who would benefit the most from watching it. “Toxic masculinity” as a label would probably be a much more effective term that everyone was able to agree on if it weren’t othering males and was instead just referred to as “Toxicity”. Perhaps the best way to heal divisions and painful histories is to work together to end the trend of “othering” those who have wronged us, and try our best to forgive, while acknowledging our differences. This movie does that – it acknowledges the differences between men and women while pointing out the issues that  many men have. The title was chosen to be divisive, and take advantage of the angst present between men and women, which is ironic because the content of the movie does a decent job of being fair to men and women alike. It’s a well-done movie, if very slow in some parts.  People who will enjoy Men might include: Women Open-minded men Body horror fans Psychological horror fans Thriller fans People who probably won’t enjoy Men might include: Toxic people Many men Those who don’t do well with gore and body horror Score 8/10

Synopsis An American man marries a Serbian immigrant who fears that she will turn into the cat person of her homeland’s fables if they are intimate together. Review of Cat People (1942) Like most movies from the 40s, there is a lot of things you have to get used to stylistically before you can see through the time period and production quality to get to the value of the film. A few films stand out as familiar because they figured out a lot of movie making tricks that survive till today. Cat People is one of them, especially for the horror genre. Cat people is notable because it is the first to use the jump scare. It was created at a time when RKO was struggling financially, and was looking to make a quick buck off of the Universal horror recipe. Low budget monster movies with high returns. Cat People was made from a shoestring budget of $134,000 which would be about 2.5 million today. It made back (by some estimates) 30x. It’s vague in all the right places and has a very spare and lightning fast script. Again, if you can look past the time period, or at least appreciate it in context, this is a really good and thought provoking movie.

Just like prodigy sang: I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter; You’re a firestarter, twisted firestarter. This Blumhouse remake of the 80s classic is more twisted, but is it worth a watch? Listen to our review to find out. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram Synopsis Firestarter is the second adaptation to Stephen King’s 8th novel. It tells the story of a young girl Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) trying to control her supernatural power to set things on fire with her mind. After an accident in school, she finds herself on the run from the law and a mysterious government agency with her psychic father (Zac Efron). The government agency sends a telepathic native american assassin named Rainbird to track down Charlie and return her for testing. In the end, everyone gets more fire than they bargained for. https://youtu.be/59MJfJPP5eo Review of Firestarter (2022) This was an ok movie. I don’t know if anyone was clamoring for a remake of the 1984 Drew Barrymore film, but here it is. It is very quickly paced, and it gets off to a quick start, but it suffers from a lack of character development early on. The supernatural elements are handled very matter of factly and almost seems too common in the world for it to be surprising to anyone. Where the film really shines (no pun intended) is when things get set on fire by Charlie. It’s unavoidable that you are going to have a good time watching her on a rampage at the end of the film. Firestarter (2022) Poster I wasn’t blown away by it (no pun intended), and it does seem like an unnecessary remake/adaptation, but Blumhouse has found a market for remakes that no one is asking for, and it’s going to serve it god damn it. I was pretty bored with the first two acts. The problem with presenting the problem and immediately starting the action in the beginning is that the film ends up basically being the same thing for most of the movie. Some more character development around Charlie, her father, Rainbird, and even the government agency would have made it more engaging and established better stakes.  It has some fun moments and is worth a watch with friends, but I wouldn’t rush to the theater for it. Score 5/10

We watched The Sadness before it was available for streaming in the US because we are a big time movie review podcast. I can easily say that this is one of the craziest movies I’ve ever seen, and will stick with me for a long time. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/VUR1DWh7eLs Synopsis The Sadness follows boyfriend Jim (Berant Zhu) and girlfriend Kat (Regina Lei) on their normal day in Taiwan. Unfortunately for our couple, this normal day is the day that the Alvin virus hits their city. The Alvin virus is a pandemic that they’ve been hearing about for a while but no one seems to be taking seriously. As the virus hits their hometown, people start to die, and worse, rape each other in the streets. The virus causes people to cry as they assault each other while simultaneously exhibiting total ecstasy in causing pain and torture. It seems to unlock the most reprehensible parts of people and make them capable of depravity you’ve never even seen in horror movies. Will Jim and Kat make it through, or will the sadness take them?  Review Canadian writer, director Rob Jabbaz brought this manga adaptation of Crossed (Garth Ennis and Alan Moore)to Taiwan to film. This is his first full-length feature film. Without question, this is one of the most depraved movies I’ve ever seen in terms of dialog. The violence is absolutely absurd and over-the-top. The themes are disgusting, and are meant to cast a light on the absurdities of politicizing a major health concern such as a pandemic.  I heard a little bit about The Sadness before I watched it, enough to brace myself, which was good because I don’t think I would have enjoyed it otherwise. The makeup, effects, and execution is unbelievable, rivaling that of similar splatter movies like Braindead / Dead Alive. This is a slick movie that is well made, and outpaces most action movies handily. It’s also so absurdly disgusting that I imagine many won’t be able to finish it. Watch The Sadness Watch on Shudder Click Here to Subscribe to Shudder It takes the old premise of zombies and the morality tales that they brought to the silver screen and pops a monster truck engine under the hood before sending you to hell with tears streaming from your eyes. The Sadness is super gross, but it does have something of a point, which seems to make it easier to take in.  The non-stop themes of rape, murder, and stupendously disgusting dialog where characters describe in vivid detail the acts of violent sodomy they wish to perform made me so happy that this wasn’t in English. Had I heard those words spoken in a language that I understood, I would have been sickened to my core. The only movie that I’ve reviewed that left me feeling almost as gross as this was The House that Jack Built. Not many will be able to get through this one and those who do will have to live with all those nasty thoughts in their head. Score 8/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

Don’t let the subtitles turn you off. This is one of the best theatrical horror movie releases of the year. The Hatching will stay with you, especially if you were raised by a narcissist. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram Synopsis Finnish freshman director Hanna Bergholm heads this chilling talk of Tinja, a 12 year old gymnast and her toxic relationship with a giant bird person and  her mother. What begins as a simple tale of hatching a mystical growing forest egg, twists into a disturbing metaphor for the traumatic metamorphosis caused by being raised by a Finnish Laura Dern.  https://youtu.be/VtRNqe78x4o Review of Hatching (Pahanhautoja) I really liked this film. I went in with low expectations. The trailer featured some really corny acting, and set it up as a pretty arbitrary story of raising a monster. But it really delivers on an emotional and visceral level. You really have sympathy and pity on little Tinja as she desperately tries to makes sense of and manage forces way beyond her control.  The themes throughout are vague enough to be interesting, but explicit enough to draw some connections. Toxic relationships, narcissism, puberty, eating disorders, and hidden lives are all themes that are explored pretty adeptly in a tight 1:27 runtime. The writing is really good, and develops the characters very well. Some of the lines are a little on the nose, but they are still believable in the context of a family that desperately is putting up the perfect façade under the command of a raging narcissist mother. Score 9/10 Watch Hatching Watch on Amazon Click here to Buy or Rent

We watched The Wailing on Shudder.com and found out just how badly a well meaning dad can fuck up his entire family. A lesson I learned long ago. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/43uAputjI4k Synopsis Jong-goo (Kwak Do-won) is a local policeman and caring father to Hyo-jin (Hwan-hee Kim), the precocious young daughter. A stranger enters their village and immediately things start to go awry. Families are found horrifically murdered, and people in the village seem to be changing. A Japanese man who lives in the forest is fingered as the culprit, but what is really going on? As Hyo-jin gets sick, father Jong-goo takes it on himself to solve the mystery surrounding what exactly is happening to their village.  Review The Wailing was directed and written by Na Hong-jin and many have called it one of the most impressive horror movies of the last 20 years. I would call The Wailing the Indiana Jones of horror movies. It’s constantly throwing new stuff your way. It’s hard to know what’s around the next bend, but you can bet that it will be exciting, terrifying, or totally shocking. More than that, it’s an engaging labyrinth of a story that answers questions only to reveal more questions. Watch The Wailing Rent or Buy on Amazon Click here to Watch Those who want an ending that’s easy to understand may want to steer clear of The Wailing, but to be honest it’s pretty fun to guess at what it all means. Personally, this movie has been hyped for so long by so many that I came away a bit underwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine movie that’s pretty interesting and it definitely kept me on the edge of my seat. I just expected something so much more scary than this due to everyone’s reaction to it and there’s just no way it could deliver. There’s also something of a cultural rift that I feel in The Wailing more so than in other foreign films. I felt like there was tons of subtext and meaning that I was missing due to my inherent Western upbringings. Score 8/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

The movie that launched a thousand stationary camcorders. Paranormal Activity cracked the code of found footage to make one of the most successful horror movies of all time. Listen to our review and see if it still holds up. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram Synopsis Paranormal Activity follows Katie and Micah, young twenty-somethings that are steady dating and living with each other. Told through the lens of Micah’s new camera equipment, we learn that he is attempting to document PARANORMAL ACTIVITY that Katie purports to be happening in their suburban house. We learn that this is not the first time Katie has been haunted, and we watch as Micah attempts to use his powers of toxic masculinity to solve the problem. https://youtu.be/5od3NGHrXrI Review of Paranormal Activity Paranormal Activity was not the first found footage movie, but it was the first one to really crack the code for what makes that gimmick work. It remains the most profitable horror movie based on return on investment. With a budget of 450,000, it raked in nearly 90 million. Not that that speaks to the film itself, but it definitely speaks to popularity and marketability. It’s interesting to come back to the original since the series has expanded in scope and lore. This is a simple movie, that mostly documents the happenings in a single bedroom. It strikes a chord, because katie and micah’s relationship feels real enough to engage with the story. The viewer is drawn in to try and catch the signs of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY through the nightly static camera shots of a doorway. Sound boring? Well did I tell you it had (LOW RUMBLE)? For what it is, and me growing up with sightings, before every douchebag had a ghost hunting tv show, this tapped into the suspension of disbelief around “real hauntings”. There aren’t really ghosts reaching through tvs stealing children, but do you know what there is? Ghosts knocking things off of shelves like housecats. I love this film and several of its sequels before it totally got fucked out. I think it still works, although it’s not one you can revisit often, or see in a marathon. Score 10/10 Paranormal Activity Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We saw Willow Creek on Vudu and it was everything that I remember about talking to Bigfoot believers. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/wJ5GEkHsnrs Synopsis Willow Creek is a found footage film focused on bigfoot enthusiast and documentarian Jim (Bryce Johnson) and his girlfriend Kelly (Alexie Gilmore).  Jim and Kelly are visiting Willow Creek, and the site of the original bigfoot footage shoot, the Patterson-Gimlin film shoot.  Jim has been a passionate Bigfoot believer his whole life and is super-excited to make this documentary that allows him to pay homage to the epicenter of his obsession. Kelly is not as crazy about the idea, but she is very supportive of his effort and holds the camera a lot of the time. While Jim interviews locals about the legend, we learn a few things about the mystery of bigfoot before the couple take the plunge into the forest primeval and get more bigfeet than they bargained for. Review Willow Creek is a remarkably simple film that capitalizes on everyone’s fear of the woods at night. It’s not the best found footage camping film (Blair Witch), but it’s so sparse and short that I really can’t hate it. The direction by Bobcat Goldthwait is simple and unobtrusive, but it makes sure to pay homage to all the tropes that you might expect it to.  Willow Creek knows it’s lane, which is cheap, barebones, short, and mostly improvised. As long as you go into it with that in mind, it probably won’t offend your sensibilities. If you are a person who is terrified of the woods at night, this is a fabulous way to scare yourself silly, or you could also try the slightly better version of this, Backcountry.  One of the most questionable choices in Willow Creek is the decision to make the whole movie rest on a 25 minute long single shot toward the end of the movie. Your enjoyment of the entire movie will hinge on how this shot strikes you, and strangely it worked better on me on my second viewing.  Overall Willow Creek is a fun found footage movie with a nice mix of subtle comedy and spooky moments. Watch Willow Creek Watch on Amazon Click Here to Buy or Rent Score 6/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

The Possession of Hannah Grace does the smart move and doesn’t make itself a carbon copy of all The Exorcist copycats. This is an interesting twist on the demon possession sub genre and is well crafted enough to overcome its repetitiveness. Art by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel0 on insta Synopsis The possession of Hannah Grace is not like other possession movies. If you are expecting an exorcism in the denouement, you will be surprised that it’s the opening scene, and it results in the death of the titular character. The best way to describe this movie is that it’s like the demon version of Weekend at Bernie’s. The protagonist of the film, Megan Reed (played by Shay Mitchell) is a recovering alcoholic and pill popper that takes a new job as the intake assistant at a hospital morgue during the GRAVEYARD shift. Hannah Grace’s body is delivered to the morgue on her first night on the job and as the night progresses, stranger and stranger things start happening. By the time that Megan realizes there is something fishy about Hannah, the demon has gained enough power to start killing a lot of people. https://youtu.be/RHAgri92JP8 Review of The Possession of Hannah Grace There are a lot of things that are good about The Possession of Hannah Grace. First of all, it completely subverts the expectations of a possession film, by not focusing on the lead up to an exorcism.  The writing is surprisingly competent given that it was written by a writer from Teen Wolf. I really liked how they handled exposition in the beginning and set up all the rules for a normal night at the morgue. There were some really effective jump scares especially from the ginger night security guard. Kirby Johnson who plays Hannah gives a great performance as a contortionist.  The the biggest downfall of the film is that it gets really repetitive at the end. All the deaths are essentially the same, so I wish they had some more creativity around that, but they were effective in showing the hopelessness of the situation. Megan’s character has an arc, but it seems a little paint by numbers and doesn’t establish very strong stakes for the story. I guess we are worried that she’ll die? Do we care if she relapses? She’s more there to be a witness than anything. Overall it was a pretty good film. I feel a little bad that we let it slip by when it was a new release Score 6/10 The Possession of Hannah Grace Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We watched Puppet Master on Tubi and were reminded of a simpler time, a time when puppets rules the earth and we were helpless to prevent their tyrannical rule. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/KK3NYrORvdk Synopsis Puppet Master is the “story” of Andre Toulon, a master of puppets who has found an ancient egyptian method of imbuing puppets with life.  He killed himself long ago and now he’s back? But he’s a different guy now, and his psychic friends must suffer because they are psychic. Everyone gets more Full Moon Features than they bargained for. Review Historical Significance Puppet Master (1989) spawned a massive, 14 movie series of sequels and spinoffs. It was written by Charles Band who we interviewed a few months ago in our Gingerdead Man Review. It’s a typical exploitation movie by Full Moon Productions, cashing in on the recent success of creepy little things movies like Gremlins, Child’s Play, and Dolls. For some reason that I can’t quite work out, Puppet Master struck a cord with general audiences and became a straight to video hit.  With a budget of $400,000 it went on to make many millions, and surpassed many theatrical releases of the time in terms of profitability by a wide margin. Watch Puppet Master Watch on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy My Criticisms The movie itself is profoundly flawed. I found it extremely boring and confusing. There is not a lot here in terms of redeeming value, other than the circus of zany sequels that it spawned.  Most of my criticisms can be boiled down to the phrase, “it’s the best that Full Moon has to offer.” which is the truth. It’s wacky, stupid, and has a mildly interesting baddie. I think the principle sin that Puppet Master commits is that it takes itself too seriously. The dialog and story make very little sense, but they keep at it. When the script falters and becomes boring, they keep shoving it down your throat. But really, it’s your fault for expecting anything from a straight to video movie called Puppet Master. Although I’ve only seen one other Puppet Master movie, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, I would recommend it much more enthusiastically than I would the original. The Littlest Reich understands what it is and embraces it while the original gropes around aimlessly to try and find something entertaining to show you. Score 2/10

Is X going to give it to you? Yes, indubitably, X is going to give it to you. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel on Insta Synopsis In the Halcyon days of mid-coke, pre-aids 1979, a fledgling porn production crew sets off to Rural Texas to try and film the next mainstream breakout porno, ala Debbie Does Dallas. They find an old farm house to rent from an elderly couple and try to hide the production from the conservative and suspicious owners. They are eventually discovered by Pearl, the elderly farmer’s wife, and she takes a cotton to Mia Goth’s Maxine. Soon, the porno people find themselves in danger and fight for their lives to escape a possible Texas pitchfork massacre.  https://youtu.be/Awg3cWuHfoc Review of X (2022) If you are wondering what a straight ahead A24 slasher looks like, here it is. It has the gore and body count of  a slasher, and the artsy fartsy shot composition and character focus of an A24 film. Is this an “elevated slasher”? Not quite, but it does put in more effort towards character development and theme exploration than any Friday the 13th film.  The film explores the themes of youth and ambition as well as the inverse of old age and lost opportunities. A touch of religious judgment is sprinkled in there in the form of a TV preacher, but that is really to flavor the setting, and not integral to the story. I really liked this film, and was fully engaged throughout. It doesn’t go too far into A24 avant garde territory, but references it in an almost tongue in cheek way that is entertaining. To say that this is “more than a slasher” is probably giving it more credit than it deserves, but there are some great scenes that build tension and dread that don’t necessarily fit in the regular slasher cliches.  If you are wondering if there is nudity, X gon’ give it to ya. Tits, side boob, and dick silhouette galore in this film. Putting X up against recent slashers such as Scream 2022, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 and Studio 666, it makes them look like prudes.  I highly recommend this film. Score 9/10 X Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy

We went and saw Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil and it reminded me how stupid college kids are. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/l1t8OZn_uhE Synopsis Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are headed into the woods to fix up Tucker’s new vacation cabin. It’s going to be a weekend of fishing, fixing, and getting fucked up. A couple of guys, alone in the woods. Nearby this cabin, a plethora of college kids are camping and partying it up. They meet the silly duo of Tucker and Dale and immediately are spooked by their hillbillyishness.  Things come to a head one night when the college kids decide to go skinnydipping in the same lake that Tucker and Dale are night fishing.  An angelic girl named Allison (Katrina Bowden) falls off a rock and hits her head, and our goofy duo go to save her. As they do, they shout to the other college kids that “We’ve got your friend!” and that sets in motion the zaniest misunderstanding you’ve seen all summer long! Everyone gets more don’t judge a book by it’s cover than they bargained for. Review Directed by Eli Craig, Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil was released in 2010 to only 33 theaters and eventually was shown in 44 theaters. Despite this limited theatrical release, when it was released on Netflix, it was met with universal enjoyment.  Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is a movie that takes the common horror movie structure of partying kids in the woods and inverts the classic protagonist/antagonist relationship. This inversion was a pretty unique thing even in the somewhat oversaturated world of meta-horror. It was a new brand of winking at the audience, one where the audience feels empathy for both the good guy and the bad guy.  Horrible things happen in this movie, but the only thing to blame is a breakdown in communication between the two groups, or an othering of the hillbillies by the college kids The dry wit and laugh out loud moments in this movie are a ton of fun and often the result of totally shocking and unexpected misunderstandings or accidents. The characters are completely wonderful and easy to fall in love with. Watch Tucker and Dale Watch on Amazon Click here to buy or rent The problem with Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is because the whole premise is based on a misunderstanding, they had to manufacture an antagonist and that feels a little goofy. Chad (Jesse Moss) is as one dimensional a character as they come, and his motives aren’t interesting or fun. To me, this leaves the movie feeling a bit hollow in the third act. It meanders around a bad guy fight that we don’t care about and leaves me wishing we had just ended with a nice therapy session in act two. The ending leaves a lot to be desired, but the impact that this movie has had on general audiences can’t be overstated. It’s enjoyed by horror fans for it’s interesting take on an old premise, and it seems to be the logical predecessor to the more impressive movie that does the same thing but with less comedy and more scares, The Cabin in the Woods, which came out the following year, 2011. This is a different and more sophisticated kind of fun than Gremlins 2 is but the result is the same  Score 7/10

Ever want to see the Foo Fighters in a horror movie? To bad you’re getting one anyway. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel on Insta Synopsis Studio 666, starring the Foo Fighters, tells the story of the band recording it’s 10th album in a haunted mansion. Decades earlier the mansion was the site of an infamous rock band murder suicide. Sloooooooowly as the plot unfolds, it’s revealed that there is a connection to a more sinister influence and Dave Grohl becomes the pawn in a demon’s attempt at opening a portal to hell. https://youtu.be/UEDkqOBhPis Review of Studio 666 This is what you get if you combine A Hard Days Night with a Charles Band movie and give it more budget than it deserves.  In terms of movie making craft, this is a pretty shitty movie. The pacing is awful. The 1:50 run time could have been cut down to 70 minutes and lose absolutely nothing. The direction is extremely flat. I’ve seen industrial safety education videos with more creativity. If you are looking for gore, it is here, and there are some genuinely cool death scenes, but you’re going to have to wait for about an hour and 30 minutes for the actual horror part of the horror movie to start. It’s not all bad. In fact this is a very fun movie with a lot of moments that I really liked. I mentioned The Beatles A Hard Days Night, because I do think it’s an apt comparison. In both movies, they are really carried by the charm and humor of the band itself. These are not professional actors, but their goofy hammy acting is endearing and fun to watch. Is this a movie that you should rush to see in theaters? No, definitely not. But if you want to watch an oddity and have a few laughs, you could do worse than Studio 666. Score 4/10 Studio 666 Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We watched the wildly popular and controversial new film on Netflix, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and were shocked by the amount of home renovation involved in this iteration of the classic slasher franchise. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/zcI6SFiK_yk Synopsis A group of fresh young social media influencers flood into a mostly abandoned Texas town to help revitalize the community and auction off the town. They are intent on building a new politically correct community in the heart of what was once the “deep south” with all the fixin’s of culture that entails. They end up finding one of the buildings, which is an old orphanage, still inhabited by an old lady and her gigantic, mute son. The influencers have the old lady kicked out and she dies as a result. Everyone gets way more Leatherface than they bargained for. Review Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s story was written by Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues, who also wrote Don’t Breathe, Don’t Breathe 2, and the beloved 2013 remake of Evil Dead – so he knows his way around horrendous violence and hopeless terror.  It’s hard to say what’s the right way to reboot a classic slasher. Some people will be so excited to get some great new content that they will overlook any flaw. Others will be so upset that their hallowed ground franchise was upset by a newcomer that they will hate it no matter what it does.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and it’s resulting franchise have been through some incredible ups and downs when compared to other slasher franchises. The depths of cheesy cash grabs are right alongside some of the most revered sequels and reboots ever made in slasher history. Watch The Original TCM Watch on Amazon Click here to buy or rent This entry comes close to the brutality and disgusting, sweaty feeling atmosphere that the original gave us. While there is plenty of nitpicking that can and will be done by slasher fans, I think that this is as admirable an entry into the genre as either the new Halloween (2018) or Halloween Kills movies. It’s gross, hard to watch in parts, extremely gorey, and I didn’t care about any of the characters – meaning it literally checks every single box needed to be a “passable slasher”. Do I love it to death? No. Would I point a slasher fan at it? Yep. It’s brutal, hopeless, and totally depraved. To be honest though, I was hoping it would go even more violent and terrible than it did, and I don’t know what that says about me. Score 7/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

Drag Me To Hell brings Sam Raimi back to what he does best. Over the top, tongue in cheek horror. If you haven’t seen this one, you should. Synopsis Drag Me To Hell, Directed by Sami Raimi, and starring Alison Lohman and the Mac guy, follows Christine Brown as she suffers the consequences of a Gypsy curse. She is cursed because she denies an old creepy woman a bank loan. Through the curse, she is tormented by an evil demon for three days and is told if the curse does not break, she will be dragged to hell to live all eternity with Hitler and unbaptised dead babies. The moral to the story is give creepy old ladies what they want. https://youtu.be/PPOaxHqoYxo Review of Drag Me To Hell This movie is PG-13 and you will be so distracted by your disgust to even notice that no one says fuck. I think this is the best pg-13 horror movie ever made. Sam Raimi’s kinetic and unhinged directing style throttles you through the plot with very little fluff. This film really hits the sweet spot for me. The characters are fleshed out, The special effects are viscerally over the top, and there is a subtle ribbon of humor strung throughout.  Overall it’s a very fun film to watch. The dramatic irony, the well timed callbacks, and undercurrent of campy energy kept me engaged throughout.  Score 9/10 Drag Me To Hell Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We watched 13 Ghosts on HBOMAX and it was exactly what I thought it would be, which is Ghost Ship meets Event Horizon with a side order of Wrong Turn. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/n1yZl9HVLd0 Synopsis 13 Ghosts is a movie about a ghost collector who leaves his massive house to his distant relative family, who think they are getting a sweet deal.  What they end up getting is royally fucked by a house that is full of a bunch of ghosts.  The house is made to trap them and do some sick twisted stuff, but luckily Matthew Lillard is here to shed some light on this quandary. Matthew explains that he is a ghost feeler, and regularly touches ghosts. He helped their uncle collect all these ghosts, and he feels bad or something and wants to help them.  The house has other plans and wacky hijinks ensue. Review 13 Ghosts is no doubt remembered fondly by a bunch of old zoomers and young millennials who were impressionable whilst watching this but let me assure you, it’s fucked.  This was directed by Steve Beck, who directed Ghost Ship in 2002, one year after this film. Interestingly, before directing 13 Ghosts, Steve had only directed commercials, and after he directed Ghost Ship which is basically a reskinning of 13 Ghosts he never directed again. This is a good thing. 13 Ghosts is jumpcuts and loud noises mixed with edgy, barely explained lore mixed with dog shit. All of this could be excusable if it was fun or interesting or funny, but it’s none of those things. It takes a 42 million dollar budget and wastes it on the dumbest set-pieces you can possibly imagine. As a result, it feels expensive but not in a good way – in an animal print on furniture way. The acting is hammy, the actors are bad, the premise is shockingly thin, and the scares are undermined by jump cuts and ghost vision glasses. I’m sorry if you love 13 Ghosts but everyone has different tastes, and this just is not for me. If you love this, please keep loving it. Watch 13 Ghosts Watch on Amazon Click here to Buy or Rent Score 3/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

The Silence of the Lambs is known and memed today, over 30 years after it’s release. There is a reason for that, it’s one of the best movies ever made. Synopsis The Silence of the Lambs stars Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling, an FBI trainee tasked with interviewing a psychopathic serial killer and psychologist Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) to try to elicit his help in finding a serial killer at large named Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine). Clarice is warned about Hannibal and is told to not disclose any personal information, but as Hannibal’s position of power becomes plain, Clarice finds herself stepping over the line to extract more information from him. https://youtu.be/W6Mm8Sbe__o Review of The Silence of the Lambs This film is one of those that you can come back to year after year and appreciate something new. It’s perfectly cast, and the performances are all fantastic. This film served to launch Anthony Hopkins into A-list Hollywood status, and his portrayal of Hannibal Lecter stands as one of the best onscreen villains of all time. Jodie Foster’s excellent portrayal of Clarice communicates her determination, intelligence, and weakness as a character. Levine’s Buffalo Bill has very little screen time, but is a truly menacing character that establishes the stakes of the film. Director Jonathan Demme created a truly artful film that stands apart from all the other films in the “Thriller” genre. The extreme closeups and leering gazes create an uncomfortable intimacy that puts you in the shoes of the protagonist. The script and the direction are so efficient in moving the complicated story and character arcs along, that there is rarely a dull moment. This film is probably the best example of the crossover between the Drama/Thriller genre and the Horror genre. The scenes with Buffalo Bill are viscerally horrific, but the psychological horror of Lecter’s interrogations of Clarice are just as disturbing. Score 10/10 The Silence of the Lambs Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We went and saw Scream and it was pretty much exactly what I figured it would be. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/-TfkyBWEoWY Synopsis Scream is a story about a movie about a movie. A young girl get’s called on the phone and brutally attacked by a masked murderer known as Ghostface. As the teen and her friends try to figure out who would perpetuate this crime, other victims begin to die.  Suddenly everyone is a suspect. Fortunately we have a couple of horror movie experts who managed to surmise that this is similar to a horror movie known as Stab. If you know how slasher movies work, you may be able to stay alive. Oh yea, and Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Skeet Ulrich are in it. Review If any of this sounds familiar, it’s because Scream painted itself into a corner with the first movie and has been digging away at hallowed ground ever since. Meta horror has been the thing everyone does for nearly 30 years now, and if Scream doesn’t do it, it’s basically sacreligious. Scream isn’t going to blow your mind. It sticks to the exact same format and rules of all the previous movies. In fact, it’s pretty much devolved fully into Clue at this point. Characters are all constantly pointing at eachother and asking, “Are you the killer?” the same way tweens do as they exit the movie theater.  There are tons of callbacks and easter eggs to keep fans coming back to catch every last morsel of slasher goodness.  I’d even say that this has some of the most clever meta commentary zingers placed in the script since the original Scream.  It’s a fine movie, and pretty violent, although the violence in Halloween (2018) and especially Halloween Kills puts this in the kiddy pool in that regard. I guess I’m just a little tired of the same old story told with a wink and a nod by some gen Z kids, no matter how much they are asking for it. Score 7/10 Watch Scream 2022 Watch on Amazon Click here to Rent of Buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.

This hostel is so… hostile! This week we review Hostel, Eli Roth’s torture-porn masterpiece. Synopsis College school student Josh is a good student and nice guy – albeit a little predictable. He is unceremoniously dumped by his whorish girlfriend. Among the people he turns to in his hour of despair is his Icelandic pal, Oli and American buddy Paxton. Josh, impulsively for a change, decides to backpack through Europe with his friends. As the four try to make their way to Bratislava, they run into a few obstacles and few adventures.  The previous description was based off a synopsis of Eurotrip (2004) This movie along with the previous year’s Saw, ushered in a renaissance of torture porn horror movies that dominated the mid 2000’s and 20teens. https://youtu.be/4d5_lrn9v-g Review of Hostel While there is a lot of just awful and cliche prone movies that came after, Hostel stands as a unique premise and genre mixing film that still holds up today. This is a slow burn horror movie that doesn’t put all it’s cards on the table till halfway into the film. It feels like a buddy road trip comedy for the entire first half, and then abruptly goes into brutal and graphic gore in the last half. It’s definitely exploitative. From the generous heaping of bare tits, to the sinkfuls of mangled limbs, it’s not purporting to be high art. However, in this lane of horror films, it does take extra care into providing a framework for these exploitative elements to exist believably.  I love this movie, because it goes all the way with every idea it approaches. Seeing this as a young single male is probably the best way to view it, because it really preys on your basest desires and fears.  Score 10/10 Hostel Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We watched Dawn of the Dead (2004) on Amazon because our Patrons told us to and I was not disappointed in the least. https://youtu.be/j69OPw9nFHw Synopsis A nurse, policeman, young married couple, and a salesman walks into a mall…  Following the downfall of humanity, they do their best to survive and return to some form of normalcy while in the mall, but are constantly reminded of the scourge just outside the mall entrance – teenagers! Er, I mean zombies! At first a gang of angry mall cops subdue our group, but eventually good triumphs over mall cops, and the cinnabon is opened for freeloaders. The gang befriends a gun store owner across the street named Andy, and eventually a van full of new survivors shows up, which complicates things. In the end everyone gets more Zombeavers than they bargained for. Review If you have seen the original Dawn of the Dead you would rightly ask, “why would you need to remake this masterpiece?” But, if you’ve seen the 2004 remake directed by Zack Snyder and written by James Gunn and George A. Romero, you will definitely understand that it’s not always a bad thing to remake classics. This isn’t just a sprucing up of the original, it’s got a huge budget ($26m), tons of clout, and a way tighter script than the original. It’s like Romero wanted to do it again, but with hindsight being 20/20, and boy does it work. You’ve got the same message, with an updated veneer and way edgier content. Not only that, these zombies run! Watch Dawn of the Dead (2004) Watch on Amazon Rent Now! The action in this one feels way more tense, and the stakes feel a lot higher too. As with many Snyder movies, this one has a goofy filter on it, but it’s much less abrasive than some of his other efforts. This may be one of the best zombie movies ever made, and I think that has a lot to do with all these spectacularly talented people that come together on this Dawn of the Dead. The cast, the direction, the writing they are all proven talent, and the end result is pretty great. Score 10/10 Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code HMT at Manscaped.com Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

Babadook…dook…dook! Artwork by Dustin Goebel (follow @dgoebel00 on instagram) Synopsis The Babadook is writer/director Jennifer Kent’s film debut, and she comes out of the gate strong. The film is about a single mother Amelia Vanek (Essie Davis) and her 6 year old son Samuel (Noah Wiseman) struggling with grief, childhood, parenthood, and the supernatural.  Samuel, who is obsessed and terrified by monsters, discovers an odd children’s book in their house. The book, titled Mister Babadook is a popup book that contains strikingly scary illustrations and tells the story about a being that arrives after knocking thrice, and haunts people until they wish they were dead.  As Amelia tries to reassure her son that the Babadook isn’t real, she begins living out the experience described in the book. The more she tries to explain the coincidences away, the more powerful and undeniable her experiences become. https://youtu.be/k5WQZzDRVtw Review of The Babadook I love everything about The Babadook. For me, it stands as one of the three pillars of “elevated horror” of the last decade. The other two being The Witch and Hereditary. All three are from freshman feature film writer/directors. This film is an obvious homage to the German expressionist silent films of the 20s that established the earliest foundations of the horror film genre. It is also a deeply modern exploration of grief, the stresses of parenthood, and mental health crises.  Kent adeptly interweaves all of these themes in a way that makes you question whether Amelia is actually experiencing a haunting, a psychotic break, or both. There aren’t any cheap shots pulled. The relationships and emotions portrayed in the movie feel real and well worn. The characters are easy for the audience to empathize with and care about. When The Babadook attacks this poor family, it feels like there are real stakes. The dread and suspense is well developed and steadily delivered over the hour and a half run time. Even after the ending, you are left with a sense of unsureness about whether or not what happened was real or imagined. It works on a lot of different levels for me and I’m excited to talk about it. This is one that I feel is as near to perfection as I can expect a horror film to be. Score 10/10 The Babadook Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

This week we are having a different kind of show. This show we are looking back at the delightsome year that was 2021, and awarding the best and worst of Horror Movie Talk. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. Best new drop Ew David MacGruber Goat Boy (LAmb) Cows don’t look like cows (H4) Ouja Board (Paranormal Activity 3) Best Guest David’s Mom (The Bad Seed) Bryce’s Mom (The Bad Seed) Baby-face Billy (Old) Bug-Z (H4) Justin (The Thing) Kate (10 Cloverfield Lane) Emma (Anna and the apocalypse) Caspar (Creep) Worst Movie We Watched this year The Number 23 The Gingerdead Man Leprechaun in the Hood Review Pieces Review The Forever Purge Malignant Best Movie We Watched this year Jaws Review The Thing Review Creep (2014) The Night House The Mist Worst New Movie of 2020 The Forever Purge Malignant The Unholy Spiral (2021) Review Don’t Breathe 2 Halloween Kills Best New Movie of 2020 The Night House Lamb Saint Maud Review In the Earth Review Antlers A Quiet Place Part 2 Review Last Night in Soho Perfect 10s Jaws Review The Thing Review Creep (2014) The Night House The Mist Lowest Scored The Number 23 (1.5) The Gingerdead Man (1.5) Leprechaun in the Hood Review (2.5) Biggest Discrepancies in Scores A Christmas Horror Story (D=2, B=8) Don’t Breathe 2 (D=8 , B=3) Anna and the Apocalypse (Emma-1, B=5) The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (D=6, B=10)

Something in The Mist! This week our patrons picked The Mist for us to review. It was my first viewing, and even having had the ending spoiled, this one still holds up after over a decade. Artwork by Dustin Goebel (follow @dgoebel00 on instagram) Synopsis Thomas Jane plays husband and father MISTer David Drayton, who after a storm, heads into town for supplies to repair damages to his house. He takes his son and his neighbor along with him, and soon they are trapped in the grocery store  by a MYSTerious mist that contains untold terrors.  https://youtu.be/LhCKXJNGzN8 Many of the townsfolk don’t heed warnings and mistakenly decide to venture out. The remaining occupants increasingly mistreat each other and the social order begins to break down. When one religious fanatic begins to mistteach others that this is all caused by an angry god, many make the misstep to become followers. This film has one of the most shocking endings in horror, sure to leave you … Misty-eyed.  Review of The Mist This was my first viewing of The Mist, and I wish that I could have gone in completely blind, but 14 years is a long time to expect an ending not to be spoiled. Even knowing the ending, I was pleasantly surprised by how engaging the film was from the outset. Frank Darabont, the director, wastes no time in establishing strong characters and relationships that are familiar and believable.  This is a pretty simple concept for such a long movie, but it is highly engaging because there are several times where the story shifts gears and presents new problems other than “don’t go outside”. There is the obvious threat of what lies in the mist, but the story delves into several different sources of dread, such as fear itself, superstition, mistrust, and helplessness. The zombie genre has evolved into a mechanism to hold a mirror up to society, and this movie does that, but with more interesting and mysterious monsters. The special effects don’t quite hold up, but aren’t so bad as to distract from the high quality of the writing, directing, and acting. I really enjoyed this film, and I think that it is not to be missed. Score 10/10 The Mist Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.

This was a really interesting movie that Bryce loved and David had strange feelings about. If you want to gain access to the full review, head over to patreon.com/horrormovietalk and sign up for the We All Spoop for Ice Spoop tier. That get’s you access to: The Afterpods Early Access to all reviews The Ability to vote for 1 movie a month for us to watch Thank you card loaded with stickers

The Gingerdead Man is just one of Charles Band’s 69 directed films and 342 produced films. You’d be hard pressed to call The Gingerdead Man a good movie, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a real fun time. You get to enjoy Gary Busey’s unhinged performance and a hilarious gingerbread man puppet commit homicide. What’s not to love? We also have the special treat to interview the legend himself, Charles Band, about his new memoire and about what it was like to work with Gary Busey (not great). Synopsis I think the best person to explain the Gingerdead Man is the director himself, Charles Band. [The Gingerdead Man is a] tale of a deranged murderer who gets executed and is brought back to life when his witchymother mails enchanted dough to a bakery where——oh, you get it. A psychotic cookie comes to life and rampages. Okay? Charles Band – Confessions of a Puppetmaster Well I guess that’s close enough. In the spoilers section we’ll talk about how wrong that actually is. https://youtu.be/mLFVY41RmtA Review of The Gingerdead Man The Gingerdead Man is representative of the highs and lows of exploitation horror films. If you’ve seen any Full Moon Feature, your expectations should be tempered, but if you are new to super low budget, straight to video horror films like this one, you might feel surprised at how shitty it is. If you are comparing it to anything that touches the theater, this movie is not going to compete on quality of writing, production quality, acting, directing, special effects, or anything related to the making of movies. However, what this movie and other Full Moon Features have is, every once in a while, there are some truly entertaining absurd, and even charming moments. The Bad Ok, so lets discuss the bad first. The writing and direction is borderline incomprehensible. Some of the very important plot points that seem like table stakes to show on camera, are just not there. It’s never quite explained that the killer’s mother exists other than being mentioned and seeing a witchy figure running away. We know that the mysterious figure dropped off gingerbread seasoning, and then we see them pouring in some gingerbread seasoning into a large container marked gingerbread seasoning and in the process bleed into it. By the ominous music, we are to understand that this is bad.  Now first of all, this displays a fundamental misunderstanding of how gingerbread dough is made, but also begs the question… what if the guy didn’t accidentally, and recklessness bleed into the dough? The answer is, shut up, do you want to see a Gingerdead Man or not? The acting quality varies wildly among the cast, which makes sense when you are only paying scale. There are some standouts, like Ryan Locke as Amos, which had some genuinely good delivery and timing on his lines, Larry Cedar as the nemesis restaurateur, and of course Gary Busey hamming it up. Unfortunately the film mostly dwells on the lead actress Robin Sydney, whos only direction was probably, “Be mopey”. The Good Now the good.  Gary Busey is great as the unhinged killer and as the voice of Gingerdead Man. Any time the Gingerdead Man is on screen is gold. Like genuinely enjoyably absurd. There is something about an evil, gross, super fake looking, foam latex puppet delivering menacing dialogue that is really entertaining. Just imagine if Triumph the insult comic dog starred in a slasher. That’s what we’re working with here. Overall, if you are looking for a low budget film to watch with friends to make fun of, this movie can be really enjoyable to experience.   Score 2/10 Confessions of a Puppetmaster Read Charles Band’s amazing, inspirational, and hilarious memoir Click here to buy The Gingerdead Man Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We went and saw Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, the reboot to the Resident Evil series, and I was pleasantly surprised by the total lack of Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q6UGCyHZCI&ab_channel=SonyPicturesEntertainment Synopsis Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is the story of Raccoon City, a city built by the giant pharmaceutical megacorp, The Umbrella Corp.  For years Raccoon City has been home to The Umbrella Corp and now, Umbrella is leaving Raccoon City. This story takes place in a mostly deserted Raccoon City, where a skeleton crew has been left to pack up what’s left of the facility and anyone else in the city who was too poor to afford moving out. We soon learn why The Umbrella Corp is moving out of Raccoon city, and everyone gets more vaccinated zombies than they bargained for. Review Having seen a few of the other Resident Evil movies, I was dreading this watch. While the original movie is fun enough for what it is, the rest of these movies are the definition of what has been wrong with Hollywood for the last 20 years. Huge explosions with overcomplicated storylines that amount to the writers version of hacking a computer by violently mashing the keyboard incoherently. But Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City reboots this series down to it’s barebones. This was directed by Johannes Roberts, who also did 47 Meters Down: Uncaged and 47 Meters Down and he did what video game lovers have asked countless directors to do for over 25 years – he made a direct video game to film adaptation of the first three resident evil games.  Is it the best thing I’ve ever seen? No. Is it fun with some genuinely spooky and disturbing moments? Yep!  Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City takes a tired, fucked out franchise and returns it to it’s honest-to-God roots, and does it with some fun. The first two acts are genuinely interesting and scary, and had me bought in. The last act devolves into stereotypical big monster battles and explosions, but even some of that was pretty fun. Overall, this took the most disgustingly bad franchise I can think of and gave it a new lease on life. While it did lean heavily on the games for inspiration and iconic imagery, I think that’s a step in the right direction. Because what are we seeing a Resident Evil movie for if not to relive those moments in the games that made us gasp? Go ahead and real our blog by Leah on how Jill Valentine got screwed.  Watch Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Buy it on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy Score 6/10

As an early Christmas gift to our listeners, and thanks to everyone that got us to our goal of 100 patrons at Patreon.com/horrormovietalk, we are releasing our own commentary track for The Human Centipede. Just fire up your copy of the movie and press play when we tell you in the audio track to follow along.

Sometimes an anthology movie hits you just right. A Christmas Horror Story tells four tales of fright ranging from unnerving to dumb fun. It’s low budget, but enjoyable. Listen to our review. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. Synopsis In the fictional town of Bailey Downs, where the war on Christmas is won, because no one knows about popular hymns or bible verses related to the holiday, we are told 4 different holiday horror stories. Santa fights off zombie elves, a family full of assholes inadvertently summons Krampus, a cops family finds a changeling, and a group of teens learn the Scooby doo’s and Scooby Don’ts of ghost hunting. There is also a radio host played by William Shatner that has almost nothing to do with anything. https://youtu.be/7Z3ybMTpqFw Review of A Christmas Horror Story A Christmas Horror Story is an anthology horror movie done right. It takes stories that could almost, but not quite be stretched into full length movies, and bundles them together in a thematic group of short films. The concepts, or gimmicks if you like, take front stage, and some minorly fleshed out characters are inserted into the action to act as fodder for our delight. The tales range from slightly disturbing, to truly unsettling, to goofy gory fun. I really enjoyed the ride. I think each story held its own and none felt redundant. My only real complaint is that my suspension of disbelief was affected by one or two “bith get out the house” moments, and a befuddling lack of christmas tradition knowledge by some of the characters. I think the Santa story edges out the other three as the most enjoyable, mostly because you get to hear Santa mournfully call out ridiculous elf names as he has to fight them off. Sparkles no!!! Score 8/10 A Christmas Horror Story Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.