Horror Movie Talk

Synopsis 1408 is a film that follows Mike Enslin, played by John Cusack, a corny horror novelist who specializes in writing about the scariest, spookiest places he’s ever been. Although he spends a lot of time in “haunted” places, he has never seen any paranormal activity and does not believe in ghosts. He then receives a cryptic postcard from the Dolphin Hotel in New York City that states, “Don’t stay in 1408.” Intrigued by this gesture and not at all deterred, he goes against the wishes of the postcard and of the staff of the hotel and books the room, hoping to finally get scared. Review This is the ultimate sleeper pick. This movie is not very well known or well talked about in horror movie communities, to my knowledge anyway, and after a second viewing I firmly believe this is one of the best horror movies. The viewer is never bored, stuff happens so quickly and so often in this film that it was extremely difficult to take notes on it because I almost always missed something. The pacing is something to look up to, it keeps you engaged from the moment you turn it on to the moment it ends. It is scary and certainly anxiety inducing. This is a great adaptation of a Stephen King and even if you don’t love Stephen King, you will love this movie if you are a horror fan. There are not many problems with this movie. Sometimes the directing style is a bit dated and the acting can be a little slapstick at times, but it doesn’t fully take away from how good it is. It is definitely not perfect, but it is entertaining and quite dreadful. Score 8/10

Synopsis The Exorcism is about Farther Gabriel Amorth played by Russel Crowe, who…wait no sorry that’s the popes exorcist I keep getting confused. The exorcism is really about Anthony or Tony played by Russel Crowe who is a washed up actor who tries out for a leading role in an upcoming exorcism movie while attempting to overcome his serious drinking problem. With the loss of his wife, Tony sends his teenage daughter Lee to a catholic boarding school, but when she is kicked out for in her words “protesting” but in the words of the law “vandalism”, she returns home and the reunion is tense. When Tony lands the role as the exorcist in this new emotional drama in the format of a horror movie weird things start happening on and off set. Will Tony survive the making of this movie? Will his family survive his alcoholism? Will Russel Crowe be in another exorcism movie next year? Whose to say. Review of The Exorcism My review for the exorcism is that it is pretty much exactly what I expected it to be. Its a catholic horror movie about a demon who needs to be exorcised. The scares aren’t that interesting, and some of the jump scares are so loud and quickly cut that I literally didn’t even know what happening. It was just startling and gave me zero information about what was actually going on in the film. Russel Crowes acting was actually pretty good in my opinion, but I think his voice is so deep and gravelly that it could be that I just enjoyed listening to him talk. The other star of the movie for me was the director played by Adam Goldberg who delivers both the funniest lines in the movie and the most emotionally brutal lines. The rest of the cast is kind of whatever to me. My favorite part of the movie was how it demonstrated the exploitation of trauma in the film industry which was pretty sad to watch. My least favorite parts were anything dealing with the demon cause I didn’t even really get what was happening or why. Maybe this really was a drama cloaked as a horror movie after all. Score 4/10

https://youtu.be/lju9lJVRlGM Synopsis The film follows the lives of two women as they navigate an uncharted territory of human experience, exploring themes of desire, taboo, and the limits of societal norms. The narrative delves into the depths of physical and emotional extremes. It starts out in medias res with a young couple engaging in a love making session, after which, they enjoy a home cooked meal. However, the film quickly turns dark as they both develop food poisoning. Their bond remains strong and they struggle through sickness together powered by their love. Review Not since Skinamarink have I seen such a daring and controversial film push the boundaries of conventional filmmaking and audience tolerance. Unlike Skinamarink, 2 Girls 1 Cup lives up to the hype, andI felt engaged throughout the duration of the film. It’s not without it’s faults. I would have preferred more character development and I felt the pacing was too fast to digest on first viewing. The soundtrack at times felt like it was disconnected from the action on screen. I know a lot of films score against the tone of the film to great effect, such as in Tarantino films, but this one just felt out of place and overly maudlin. What I liked about the film was it’s unflinching portrayal of two lovers struggling through hardship together. It’s a film that will stay with me for some time, and I imagine I’ll revisit again in the future. Score 10/10

Who watches the watchers? We do! In this episode of Horror Movie Talk, we review the nepo baby Ishana Night Shyamalan’s new horror movie The Watchers. Should you watch it? Watch to find out. Synopsis The watchers is the first feature length film by writer/director Ishana Night Shyamalan, the daughter of M Night Shyamalan. Her previous work includes being a writer/director on her father’s Servant series on Apple TV+. In this film, Dakota Fanning plays Mina, an American expat in Ireland who is tasked with delivering a parrot. Along the way she gets lost in some weird woods from which there is no escape. There she finds a group of people that have also been stranded in the woods. They lead her into a solitary shelter in the middle of the forest and explain that they are to stand as display in a two way mirror for mysterious killer creatures that come out at night. As the days pass, Mina attempts to learn more about the woods to find an escape. Review of The Watchers The film sits currently at 32% on Rotten Tomatoes, and I can say that that seems pretty harsh. It’s not a terrible movie, but it’s not great either. As they say in the old country, The Shyamalan doesn’t fall far from the tree. This film suffers from some of the same on-the nose dialogue and an overreliance on exposition to tell the story. The set up is ripe for possibilities. Could it be a human zoo run by aliens or interdimensional travelers? Could it be an elaborate hallucination? Could it be a time loop? In the end, the explanation is a little more close to home and fantastical that science fiction, which was actually a welcome surprise. However, I still feel there was a lot of lost opportunity around hallucination, and shape shifting, which are both present in the story. The film was bought purportedly for 30 million, and hasn’t yet made back half of that in the box office. If you are wondering if it is worth it to see in the theaters, I think the litmus test is whether you thought it was worth it to see Old in the theaters. Score 5/10

Synopsis The Grudge 2004 is an Americanized version of the movie Ju-on, a Japanese franchise about a curse of resentment and anger. Both Ju-on and The Grudge are directed by Takashi Shimizu, and the Grudge is produced by (among others) Sam Raimi. The movie stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen, an American who moved to Japan with her boyfriend to study nursing. While attending to her first in-home patient, Emma, who is an elderly woman with dementia, she realizes that there might be something dark lurking in the home. After some creepy occurrences, Karen has no choice but to dig deeper into the house’s history and the legends surrounding it.  Review The Grudge has interesting ghost lore, which isn’t too different from the way we view ghosts in America, but adds emphasis on reliving the violent past, which I think is fun and gives the viewer a bit more to latch onto as far as why the ghost exists. The ghost looks extremely creepy in most scenes, with a face that genuinely terrified me as a kid, even before I had seen the movie. Its mark on pop culture is undeniable. However, a part of me likes my memory of this movie more than the movie itself. Some of the scenes feel pretty copy and paste, especially the scenes about Karen trying to research the house and learn clues. Some of the scares came off as a bit goofy, which is fine, except that the tone of the movie is very heavy, so these silly-looking scares can feel a little out of place and unintentional. Still, the movie is good, in my opinion, and has a place within my mind that will never go away.  Score: 8/10

Synopsis Perfect Blue follows the story of Mima, a pop star who turns her life around to become an aspiring actress. As she goes deeper into her role on a crime thriller tv show, she realizes that someone might be stalking her. The line between reality and acting becomes thinner and thinner as the anxiety of fame and her potential stalker rise. Review This movie is impeccable. Director Satoshi Kon forces the viewer to descend into Mima’s madness by blurring the line between real and fantasy throughout the course of the film with quick cuts, disorienting scenes, and an overall sense of unknowingness. Making an anime horror film be this good, this widely received and revered is no easy feat, but Kon makes it look like a cake walk. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and one of my favorite directors of all time. The sense of dread, doom, and anxiety get bigger and bigger until it all comes to a head at the end of the movie. It is emotional, thrilling, scary, and hard to follow, but that is what makes it perfect. Perfect blue. Get it. Haha Score 10/10

Synopsis Based on the 1976 novel by Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles tells the autobiographical story of a Vampire named Louis de Pointe du Lac (played by Brad Pitt) being turned and taught by the vampire Lestat (Tom Cruise). They are just very good vampire friends and totally not gay. After becoming a vampire, Louis discovers he has great powers, and uses them to have the poutiest mouth and become as emo as possible. He makes a lot of friends along the way, including Kirsten Dunst playing a pedo’s dream, as well as Zorro. Review of Interview with the Vampire (1994) This is probably my favorite vampire movie, so I’m biased, but I still think it holds up. It focuses on the coolest part of the vampire stories, the vampires, and gets rid of the pesky humans. This is also probably one of my favorite roles of Tom Cruise. His playfulness and arrogance as Lestat carries the majority of the movie. Kirsten Dunst also puts in one of the greatest performances of her career as a convincing forty year old in a child’s body. Brad Pitt is the only one that upon rewatching becomes less interesting every reviewing. There’s really nothing for him to do other than pout and look pretty. But granted, he does that very well here. What the film does best is maintain a vibe of sexy morbidness. Seeing this in my youth, I was distracted by the boobs in this movie, and only now realize how extremely gay coded the film is. Louis’s alternating between reveling in being a vampire and being shamed by it really represented what it must have felt like to be gay in the early 90s. The director Neil Jordan had just come off of directing The Crying Game and was really at the peak of his powers. Looking at his IMDB page, it’s only been downhill from here. Stan Winton’s special effects and makeup is perfectly understated and makes the vampires seem otherworldly and the killings properly visceral. A lot of stars aligned with this film and I still think it stands the test of time. If you want to watch a bunch of sexy vampires almost kissing, this is the movie for you. Score 10/10

Synopsis A couple embarks on a journey across the country for their five year anniversary. After their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere Oregon, they have no choice but to stay in a cabin in the woods. When Ryan, played by Froy Gutierrez, runs back into town to grab something he forgot out of his car, Maya played by Madeline Petsch starts hearing and seeing strange things in the cabin, almost like someone else is in the house. Review of The Strangers Chapter 1 I really hated this movie. Like, really hated. I didn’t really know what to expect, but taking what didn’t work from the original and even at some points taking direct lines and situations from the original and cramming it into the already too long 90 minute run time was atrocious. I don’t know if I was just tired, but I almost fell asleep at multiple points due to boredom. At the beginning of the movie, there is text on screen that says this movie will show us one of the most brutal crimes committed in America. I will tell you, I have seen worse things on Twitter in the past week. The writing is terrible, it plays like a crappy ripoff of a Wayans Brothers film, I seriously laughed at a lot of points that were not supposed to be funny out of pure hatred. The two main characters who are supposed to be in a five year loving relationship have zero chemistry. Every action they take in trying to survive is the dumbest route they could have chosen. I really really hated this movie. It was bad. It degrades the masterpiece that is the original, and I mean that. The original is an incredibly scary and moving horror film, and this one shits all over it. I walked out of the theater chuckling to myself. Score 2/10

Synopsis Arachnophobia is a movie about Ross, a doctor who moves with his family to a rural town to take over the practice of the town doctor. When a Venezuelan spider arrives in the town through extremely unlikely circumstances, Ross must unravel the mysterious deaths in the town as killer spiders ravish the community. The townsfolk are dropping like flies, and it seems like the only hope for this city is a ragtag team of spider experts/doctors/exterminators/interns. Will they overcome the eight-legged hoard? Or will they be consumed by the hellish nightmare that is the common house spider? Review of Arachnophobia Arachnophobia is directed by Frank Marshall from a screenplay written by Don Jakoby and Wesley Strick. Starring Jeff Daniels as Ross and John Goodman as the exterminator, this movie gives a goofy and fun story that scares me to no end. I couldn’t get past a single scene without checking to see if there was a creepy crawly on my body. This movie is entertaining and enjoyable to watch, even for an arachnophobe like me. The story feels improbable, but not so far-fetched that the average spider hater won’t feel incredibly uncomfortable in their own home for weeks after watching. Score 8/10

Synopsis A group of friends rent a mansion to celebrate one of their birthdays and run out of alcohol. In their search around the house for more booze they stumble upon an old hand painted tarot deck and Haley, the friend who can read tarot cards, reads all of their horoscopes. Then chaos ensues as they start being killed one by one by the embodiment of the ruling cards in their individual readings. Review This movie isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen but it is also not very good. I did like the costumes and effects of the tarot card creatures, there were a few funny lines (and by a few I mean two), but the script and acting was definitely lacking, leading it to be predictable and a bit silly in a bad way. I was worried that this movie was going to be very offensive toward tarot as a whole, but it took a different direction than I had originally thought, but it still wasn’t perfect either. I wasn’t fully entertained, I scoffed at a lot of moves the characters made, but I wasn’t completely bored either.  Score 4/10

Synopsis The Birds is a romantic comedy turned aviation nightmare. When the rich socialite and practical joker Melanie runs into a charming lawyer named Mitch in a bird shop, she does the creepiest thing ever and tracks down his name and address. After driving hours to get to his weekend home in a small town called Bodega Bay. As Mitch and Melanie slowly but surely fall in love, the birds in the area seem to be going crazy and possibly waging a Planet of the Apes-style war except in this movie, the apes are birds. Eyes are plucked out. Hair is messed up. They kiss. What more could you ask for?  Review of The Birds The Birds, directed by Alfred Hitchcock, is a movie that cant really surprise you in any way. It’s basically exactly what you would expect it to be, a movie about birds that attack people. Melanie played by Tippi Hedren is annoying at times, but her creepy love for Mitch played by Rod Taylor is enjoyable enough to keep me engaged with the film. For me, it almost seemed random how the movie would be focusing on the relationship that building between these characters, and them some bird would just swoop out of the air and attack. There isn’t a lot of buildup or explanation about why the birds are attacking. In fact there is even a moment where the characters meet a bird expert, which would have been a good time to maybe give some information about why all this might be happening, but the bird expert somehow is completely wrong about everything she says, making me wonder why they even included that scene at all. In the end, it is a fine movie that kept me engaged enough throughout most of it but not really anything special to me.  Score  6/10

The newest horror movie Abigail from the guys that directed Ready or Not and the latest Scream movies, is in theaters now. Despite the trailer spoiling everything, it’s still a fun ride. Synopsis An elite operative team is assembled to kidnap a billionaire’s 12 year old daughter for ransom. They soon realize that they are in over their heads once it’s revealed the little girl played by Matilda’s Alisha Weir, is actually a centuries old vampire. Wacky hijinks ensue. Review of Abigail I had a mix of high expectations and low expectations going into this film. While the director’s filmography included Ready or Not, one of my favorite recent horror movies, the trailer pretty much gives away the whole plot, and had low quality Blumhouse vibes. I ended up really liking the movie. It’s going to be one of those movies that the less you know about it the more that you’ll like it. It establishes a micro subgenre of switcheroo vampire movies with From Dusk Till Dawn.  The film starts out as a typical heist thriller that knowingly points out the cliche archetypes of the assembled team, then quickly subverts them by giving them slightly more depth.   The titular character Abigail seems a completely innocent victim, but there is something off about her that makes you ask, is this bad child acting, or is this character hiding something? It ends up being both. While the movie is fun, there aren’t many super memorable moments, and plays out largely as you would expect.  The film loses something in the end with a twist that seems sudden and unearned when allegiances are changed in arbitrary ways. Score 7/10

Synopsis Creep 2 continues the story of Aaron, played by Mark Duplass, a serial killer who posts want ads on craigslist seeking documentarians who inadvertently film their own murders. Sara, played by Desiree Akhavan, has a failing Youtube show and decides to take Aaron up on his offer. Throughout her documentary of Aaron, she empathizes with him and barely believes him while he swears he’s a serial killer. On the other hand, Aaron seems like he has finally found his match. Will he kill her? Will she kill him? Is this the end of the craigslist serial killer as we know it? Review of Creep 2 Creep 2 is one of those sequels that actually gives a fresh look on the original. It does not repeat overdone tropes or follow the same story line whatsoever. This movie could stand alone and it still makes sense, and would still be very effective. There are funny one-liners, there are jump scares, there is a bad ass woman who won’t take any shit. This is not your typical killer chases victim movie. Besides the original, this movie is a fresh take on found footage horror, which is my favorite genre. It is excellent, it pulls all punches, and it takes you on a very adventurous ride. This truly is an exceptional feat of horror movie making as we know it. Creep was good enough, inventive enough, but this sequel takes it to a whole nother level. My only few complaints are that there could have been more fleshing out of Sara, since she is the central character, and I think knowing what’s gonna happen upon rewatching makes it a bit less effective. Other than that, it’s pretty damn good. Score 8/10

Synopsis The First Omen is a catholic horror movie and prequel to the movie The Omen. Maggie or Margaret is a catholic sister who moves from the United States to work in an all-girls orphanage and take her vows as a nun. While there she takes to a troubled girl named Carleta who seems to be slipping through the cracks of the orphanage while the other nuns consider her a lost cause and disturbed child. As she learns more about Carleta’s past Maggie struggles to protect her from the church which seems to have a sinister plan for her. The devil is involved. It’s a whole thing. The First Omen is directed by Arkasha Stevenson who co-wrote the movie with Tim Smith and Keith Thomas. Nell Tiger Free stars as Margaret and gives a stunning performance as a young nun.  Review of The First Omen The first omen is everything that Immaculate wishes it could be. It’s dark and sinister, giving a fresh and incredibly disturbing take on catholic horror.  The movie is long, which I am known for being a critic of, but I didn’t check my watch once during this two-hour-long movie. Its shocking without being distasteful, and Nell Free’s character Margaret is a delight to watch and gives a performance that I think will be studied and copied by many possession movies to come. Even with some of the seemingly out-of-nowhere revelations that keep the plot moving I enjoyed each twist and turn. Its scary, it’s disturbing, and it’s fun.  Score 8/10

Synopsis This movie, directed by John Harrison, is based off the TV series of the same name. It follows a wraparound story about a kid that is going to be cooked by a woman who kidnapped him, and he tries to get out of it by telling her stories from the titular book. This movie is an anthology, with one wraparound story and three tales from the darkside, filled with frights, fun, blood, and gore. Review of Tales From the Darkside: The Movie This movie is very 1990. The style, the gore remind me of late 80s early 90s horror. I have never seen the TV show, but I can see how this film could be nostalgic to those who grew up in the 80s and had a knack for horror movies. It’s always a hit or a miss when a TV show becomes a movie, but in this case, I think it is a romp. It’s fun, the gore is good, but it’s not very scary. With a 93 minute runtime and a star studded cast, I don’t think you could go very wrong with this movie. With all anthologies though, there are going to be stories within the film that are not very good, and this movie is no exception. All in all, it is a fun time. I didn’t hate it. If it wasn’t so predictable, I would give it a higher score, but it’s very average and that is okay sometimes. We don’t wanna watch the best movie of all time every single day. Score 5/10

Synopsis Night of the Living Dead is a zombie movie about a group of strangers who are funneled into a farmhouse and forced to work together for survival. Ben, our protagonist played by Duane Jones is a strong and courageous man who takes it upon himself to lead the group as they struggle to escape the zombie hoard entrapping them in the home. Through twists and turns they learn that friendship was what they really needed all along. Review of Night of the Living Dead Night of the Living Dead is a foundational horror movie that deserves to be a classic. It has a classic zombie movie feel and did a lot to inspire zombie movies in the future. Despite my enjoyment of the film, there are still points in the movie that feel slow, and the dialogue seems to repeat itself a lot when trying to explain the situation. The makeup isn’t always very convincing, at least not compared to modern zombie movies, but it’s almost refreshing to see zombies that aren’t completely covered in blood and gore. Duane Jones gives a fantastic performance as Ben, and it’s easy to root for his strong character. Judith O’Dea’s acting is a little over the top for me at times, and her character becomes pretty annoying, but hey maybe if I was in a zombie apocalypse I’d be just as scared and useless as her. Score 8/10

Immaculate, starring Sydney Sweeney is the new religious horror film that we’ll be reviewing today, and it goes hard at the end, so stay tuned. Synopsis Immaculate tells the story of a young American woman with heavy naturals named Cecilia joining a convent in Italy. It’s slowly revealed to Sister Cecilia that the convent isn’t as immaculate as it seems. The priest and other nuns seem to have ulterior motives for bringing Cecilia there. Once she discovers the convent’s dark and mysterious secrets, it’s too late. She be pregonate. Review of Immaculate Immaculate is a Catholic horror movie that somehow avoids all the tropes associated with that label. There’s no exorcism, no devil, and not even a  strong supernatural element. This subversion of expectations alone makes it an interesting horror movie. Structurally, the film is sound, but it feels more like a framework and not fully fleshed out. The themes and implications of the story aren’t fully explored. There is a lot of fertile ground here, in terms of exploring faith, devotion, obedience, and authority that are only skimmed over.  I wasn’t a big fan of Sydney Sweeney’s acting in the first half of the film. Her demeanor and vibe brought too much 21st century ambivalence for a character that is essentially a religious zealot. However, she won me over with her acting in the latter half of the film. The film goes pretty hard with the gore and body horror, but what else would you expect from a movie about pregnancy? We are given an early taste with a graphic leg breaking scene in the prologue, and the final moments of the film are some of the most visceral that I’ve seen in a while. The worst and most distracting element of the film was the sound. The score was terrible, and felt like it was out of a low budget student film. The Foley sound was almost comical with prolonged and impossibly loud creaks and squelches. Score 7/10

Synopsis Two American tourists David and Jack are hiking through Europe when they are attacked by a giant wolf in the northern moorlands of Britain. A month later during the full moon, David turns into a werewolf. But not any ordinary, this one is louder, friendlier, individualistic, and more confident than British werewolves. It wreaks havoc on London, biting and slashing through town while being openly patriotic. Review of An American Werewolf in London An American Werewolf in London is a classic 80’s horror movie that stands the test of time. Director John Landis brings the humor he is known for from Animal house and Blues Brothers, and combines it with the horror that he brought to behind the scenes of Twilight Zone: The Movie. The cast of relative unknowns David Naughton and Griffin Dunne bring a convincing casualness as college friends, and really sell the humor. The real star of the show is Rick Baker’s practical effects, and the werewolf transformation stands as the gold standard of metamorphoses on camera. While the film does have humor, I would more describe it as casual. Which is a great contrast to the gory violence and disturbing dreamy jump cuts that pop out at you throughout. The film isn’t too ambitious and keeps the plot to a basic monster movie reminiscent of the old universal horror movies, but it is spiced up with quirky 80’s flavor. Score 10/10

Synopsis Imaginary is a PG-13 horror film about Jessica, an artist and author who recently married Max and joined his family, becoming a stepmother to two girls. When Jessica’s father is moved into a retirement home, the family moves into Jessica’s childhood house in hopes of finding a fresh start. As the family settles in, the youngest daughter, Alice, appears to have a new imaginary friend whom she spends all her time talking to. The family soon finds that this new friend is anything but imaginary as it begins to wreak havoc on the household. The movie is directed by Jeff Wadlow and written by Wadlow, Greg Erb, and Jason Oremland. Review of Imaginary This might be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. The script is not subtle at all, and none of the characters talk like real human beings. It’s almost like the writers knew what they wanted to tell the audience but had no idea how to convey their thoughts other than having the characters say them outright. The acting ranges from okay to downright awful, and somehow the best actor of them all might have been Piper Braun, the actress who plays the little girl. The movie could have been a tight hour and 20 minutes but chooses to drag on another 25 minutes at the end, making it feel like you’ve been in the theater for hours. Still, despite all my criticisms, there were a couple of scenes that I enjoyed, so I can’t fully commit to giving this movie a 1.  Score 2/10

Synopsis When a single dad who owes child support decides to rob a rich family’s home while he thinks they’re on vacation, he unexpectedly gets locked inside of a major house of horrors, with a sadistic mask wearing man who has already decided to wreak another kind of havoc on this family’s home. Review of The Collector The Collector (2009) is a quintessential aughts horror film. The quick cuts, the over the top gore, the good guy who is actually kind of seedy but has a good heart protagonist, the Saw-like green glow of some of the scenes is representative of the era it came out into. This movie came out the same year as Jennifer’s Body, The Human Centipede, Drag Me to Hell, Dead Snow, The Uninvited and many more very famous and quite renowned horror films. Although the critics didn’t like this one, with a 29% on Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, I think that this movie deserves some love.This movie is definitely a hidden gem, with only a $3 mil budget, compared to other horror from the same year, with budgets as high as $30 mil. Even though critics hated it, it was a box office success, grossing over $10 mil. It’s fun, it’s inventive, there are a lot of unexpected twists and turns that keep you captivated. Although it isn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen, it has rewatchable value and it has a pretty great sequel, The Collection. If you like gore, if you like interesting kills and action packed scary movies, this one’s for you. Score 7/10

Synopsis A cop named Daniel drives an injured man to an understaffed hospital after he finds him bleeding in the woods. Upon arrival, Daniel realizes this will not be just another day on the job as he is quickly forced to draw his weapon on a nurse, who attacks him in a manic rage. Before Daniel can call for help, the hospital is surrounded by unknown figures in hoods who won’t come inside, but won’t let anyone leave either. Wackiness ensues. Silliness abounds.  Review of The Void The Void is some sort of hodge-podge that pulls from many different movies, creating a wild ride that barely gives the viewer time to breathe. The creature designs remind me of a monster you might have to fight in a doom video game, which is definitely a good thing, and the acting is for the most part, pretty good. Some of the twists and turns this movie takes feel a little forced to me, coming out of nowhere with what seemed like zero foreshadowing, yet instead of feeling shocked and blindsided I kind of just was like, “Oh okay. I guess that’s happening now”. I couldn’t tell if the movie was trying to say something about pregnancy, miscarriages, and losing a child. It seemed a little like it was, I just dont know how losing a child connects to triangles, pyramids, and drug-fueled sex binges, but that’s just me. Overall it’s an interesting movie, worth a watch but not a must-see for me.  Score 7/10

Before X and Pearl, Ti West brought us this 70’s horror callback. Synopsis Twelve years before the success of movies X and Pearl, Ti West’s first breakout feature film The House of the Devil was released. This film follows Samantha, played by Jocelin Donahoe, a broke college student trying to find a new apartment to get away from her annoying roommate. She finds a job posting that just says “Baby$itter wanted” and decides to give it a shot. After she gets into contact with a robotic creepy disembodied voice on the phone about the job, she decides to take it and have her friend, director of Barbie, take her to the house. Once she arrives to babysit, she realizes that this is not a typical babysitting job, and everyone who lives in this house is off their rocker. But, they’re paying her four times more than she asks for, so she decides it’s worth it. A scary old house in the middle of nowhere while caring for a supposed elderly woman that likes to keep to herself, where her only contact with the outside world is the pizza man, on the night of a lunar eclipse, what could go wrong? So much more than Samantha could have ever thought. Review of The House of the Devil After loving X and Pearl, I decided to give Ti West’s first movie a shot, and I was not disappointed. Like X and Pearl, Ti West’s editing and direction of the film is something to be revered, with his jump cuts and long shots and bone chilling zooms and set dressing, this makes for a good horror movie. It has everything a horror fan would want: pretty girls, lots of blood, a good setup for scares, a creepy attic, a weird old lady, satanic rituals, a friend who doubts the validity of the situation, and a final girl. It is shot on 16mm which gives the film a vintage horror feel, the way it was filmed and the story that was set up kind of reminded me of the original Black Christmas. Even the main characters looked alike. It is a bit slower to get into the action, but you know once you’re in it you’re in for a treat. All in all, this film is good, it is scary, it is artful, and I love seeing how directors started and how they have grown since their first films. I loved every second of it. I was scared, even upon the second watch. Score 9/10

Critics are split on this new movie from Zelda Williams and Diablo Cody, but We’re nearly unanimous, Lisa Frankenstein is a good time and you should go see it in theaters. Synopsis Set in the late 80’s, Lisa is the weird new girl in school dealing with the grief of her mothers death and life in a new family with a wicked stepmother and kind of nice yet condescending stepsister. She spends her free hours talking to herself and pining for love in a Bachelor’s cemetery, which is totally a thing. She has the hots for the editor of the school newspaper, and while chatting with him at a party, she drinks a spiked drink and goes into a psychedelic trip during a thunderstorm. Using 80’s logic, the lightning resurrects Lisa’s favorite grave resident unbeknownst to her. From there, it’s that age old tale of the goth girl that keeps a reanimated corpse in the friendzone while they murder people for parts.  Review of Lisa Frankenstein Lisa Frankenstein is a mess, but it’s a fun mess. As of recording, it sits at a solid 50% critics score on Rotten Tomatoes, and I’m honestly not surprised. I predict this one will be divisive, but could ultimately become a cult classic from it’s bizarre campy charm. The premise feels straight from the early filmography of Tim Burton, but unlike Burton, the freshman director Zelda Williams struggles with keeping a consistent style and tone throughout the film. Her background is in music videos, and it really shows in some of the narrative style of the movie, which relies heavily on visual shorthand more than hard earned character development and cause and effect. The script written by Diablo Cody of Juno and Jennifer’s Body fame is the highlight of the film. It taps into a level of snarky and campy humor rarely seen outside of 80’s teen romcoms. Like her other scripts, this one features sharp dialogue and amusing non-sequiters from supporting characters that makes the world fun to watch. The acting is great. Kathrine Newton who plays Lisa shifts from weird nerd to self assured goth murderess with aplomb. Cole Sprouse does great with comedic timing as the mute creature. Liza Soberano walks the line between condescension and likability really well as the step sister. Carla Gugino was the best at bringing the appropriate amount of camp to the stepmother. The main flaws in the movie are the disjointed tone and the arbitrariness of the plot. It would have been nicer to have more effort put into the setups for the major plot shifts and character changes. Without properly establishing cause and effect, the movie can feel confusing. But here’s the thing. With all the nitpicks I could pick at, I was smiling and chuckling throughout the whole movie. I thought it was a blast, and I give it a lot of points for originality.  Score 8/10

Synopsis Four petty criminals who film their violent crimes are strapped for cash, so they find a job to break into a creepy old house to steal a mysterious VHS tape. Once they’re inside, they slowly realize that this excursion might not be worth the money, as there is a dead man waiting for them in front of a wall of TVs and about a hundred tapes to go through. As they watch them, we see the tapes from their point of view and get to see what scares are in store every step of the way. Review of VHS VHS is a 2012 film with nine directors, with the most notable being Ti West (of X and Pearl), David Bruckner (The Ritual, The Night House), Adam Wingard (You’re Next), Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet (Ready or Not and Scream 2022). This gaggle of directors comes together to launch their careers through five different tapes plus the main backdrop storyline to create a classic anthology film that sparked a franchise. This movie is included in the mumble-gore movement of the late aughts and early 10s, and perhaps is the most famous to come out of the genre. I have seen this film no less than six times, and while I rewatched it for this episode I realized that I knew it so well that I probably didn’t have to watch it again to recount it beat by beat and give it a score. To me, this is a modern horror classic. I really enjoy this movie, how it switches from a slowburn creep out to a ghost story to a slasher and so on. I think it is a great movie to get you into horror, it is a great movie to revisit, it is a great movie period. I am thoroughly entertained through every part of it, and even though not every tape is my favorite, I think all of it is very effective as a scary movie and I love the ambiguous ending. To quote my boyfriend when I told him what movie we were reviewing, “Oh so it’s a true syd classic.” It might be nostalgia, it might be the genotype, but whatever it is, I really love this movie.   Score 9/10

Synopsis Suspiria (1977) (not to be confused with Suspiria 2018) is a movie about a young American woman named Suzie who relocates to Germany to join a prestigious dance academy. As Suzie begins to adjust to her new life, she stumbles into a world of conspiracy that seems to surround her school and the dance instructors. People start to go missing while Suzie and her friend Sara attempt to put the pieces together. When the school’s staff start to show their true colors, Suzie must investigate the history of the academy before whoever is murdering the dancers makes her the next target. In the end, they all get more Suspiria than they bargained for.  Review of Suspiria (1977) Suspiria is directed by Dario Argento and stars Jessica Harper as Suzie. The movie, now considered a horror classic, uses unconventional lighting and color, which gives the movie a unique feeling and adds to the suspenseful atmosphere. The dialogue is kind of goofy at times, but to me, that is part of the charm. My problem with Suspiria is that with a run time of only an hour and 40 minutes, it somehow feels like a 2 hour + movie. The scenes drag on, probably to linger on the beautifully designed shots, and the plot is minimal compared to the 2018 remake, which expands on and adds ideas to the original. However, I say all of that just for the sake of being critical. I actually really enjoy this movie.  Score 8/10

What is this Horror Movie Talk+? This is a Patron pick, and we were more than happy to cover this Martin Scorsese thriller. Synopsis Shutter Island is directed by Martin Scorsese and stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Teddy Daniels, a rough-and-tumble U.S. marshal who doesn’t play by the rules. His partner, Chuck, played by Mark Ruffalo, also doesn’t play by the rules, but he is a little less rough and tumble about it. The two of them are assigned to investigate a missing person at a prison for the criminally insane located on a remote island. As the Duo look further into the mystery, they reveal more questions than answers, and it seems like no one is telling the truth.  Review of Shutter Island A lot happens in Shutter Island, and every scene feels like it is packed with symbolism and clues. Although I am not usually a fan of movies over two hours long, Shutter Island kept me engaged the whole way through, other than a few dream sequences, which I felt went on a little too long. The characters have deep and disturbing histories and it is fun to watch the whole mystery come unraveled. For a smart person who pays attention, the twist may seem obvious the whole way through, but that was not my experience at all. I was so confused the whole movie, and every attempt at filling me into what was really going on went right over my head until the pieces finally clicked together in the end and I felt like a big idiot for not seeing it sooner. It’s enjoyable, its weird, it’s dark, it’s thought-provoking, and the performances are great.  Score 9/10

Listen to us talk about possibly the greatest monster franchise ever, and how it just keeps getting better. Synopsis Directed by Takashi Yamazaki, Godzilla Minus One follows the story of Koichi (played by Kamiki Ryunosuke), a kamikaze pilot at the end of WWII who didn’t wanna go full kamikaze so he says that his plane is faulty and lands on Odo Island for repairs. Once there, a baby Godzilla arrives and decimates everyone, except for Koichi and Tachibana, the head repairman. Koichi eventually makes it back to his home in Tokyo to find that his parents are dead and Tokyo has been almost flattened by the war. Koichi encounters a girl named Noriko (played by Minami Hamabe) and she latches onto him for support for her and the baby she is carrying, and they become a happy family. A couple years later, Godzilla comes back, bigger and better than ever. Will Koichi defeat the monster? You’ll have to wait and see! Review of Godzilla Minus One This movie has it all. It had me laughing, crying, shocked, upset, and enthralled. To bounce from hard hitting emotional scenes to incredibly jarring and crazy action scenes and have it effortlessly flow is extremely difficult, yet director Yamazaki did it seamlessly. It was a wonderful movie that depicts Japan’s ruin and rebuilding after WWII, and how the war never left anyone’s minds even for a second. Oh, and Godzilla was absolutely killer. I have never seen another Godzilla movie in full before, but I can tell that they went back to the basics and kept what worked from the original and newer films. From the score, to the visual effects, to the character building, it was absolutely flawless. The Japanese invented Godzilla, it’s only right that they are the best at making films about it. Score 10/10

Synopsis When Kurt Russell’s son is forced into retirement from the MLB, he and his family move to a new house with a pool. The pool ends up being a death trap for his family and the neighborhood. But not in the normal way, this pool is extra scary because… that’s right there’s no gate! But actually it gets worse, the pool is also haunted or something. Review of Night Swim Night Swim is produced by Jason Blumhouse, and like most of his horror movies, this one stays in the shallow end of the pool. The main features of Night Swim are recycled tropes from much better horror movies. You’ll recognise borderline theft of the IT sewer scene, and the father descending into madness ala The Shining and Amityville Horror. It is an interesting concept to set a horror movie around a haunted pool. It taps into some latent fears about pools and deep water in general, but this movie definitely doesn’t crack the code and come up with a convincing premise. The ideas all seem half baked and made up as they went along. Is it a ghost? Are there many ghosts haunting the pool? Is the water an entity in itself? Is it a monkey’s paw? Sure yeah, whatever. So really the main thing that the film suffers from is a lack of commitment. There are many interesting ways you could go with it. Personally, I would have made the pool be haunted by the ghost of Marco Polo, and gone full horror comedy. The dialogue is also pretty on the nose at times, and feels like a paint by numbers script. There aren’t really any standout performances, but Kerry Condon as the mother is probably the most compelling and believable out of the cast. It’s not a terrible movie, but is very predictable and as MAx and Sydney would call it, “mid”. Score 5/10

It’s a new year and a new set of hosts! Listen up as Bryce announces the new permanent cohost(s?) of Horror Movie Talk, then we get right into reviewing When Evil Lurks. Synopsis When Evil Lurks is directed by Demian Rugna who also directed a film you may recall Terrified or Atterados. In this film, two brothers living on a farm find a man infected with a demonic disease. In order to save the town and themselves they do what they can to get rid of the man, but things quickly get out of hand. Our main character Pedro played by Ezequiel Rodrígue is rough, stern and a natural-born leader to his brother Jimi played by Demián Salomón who kind of just does whatever his brother says. The film gives a nuanced take on possession and while I think Terrified was scarier, this has a better story. Review of When Evil Lurks When Evil Lurks is heavy and doesn’t pull any punches. The violence is brutal and shocking and the makeup on the possessed people makes them look truly disgusting. The characters seem like real people and often dont make the greatest decisions, but are just doing the best they know how to do. The movie feels fresh and puts its own spin on demonic possession, but to say that this movie should be lumped into the same category as a movie like the exorcist believer is laughable. Though it uses the words demonic possession, it really ends up being something very unique. It feels like we as the viewers get to peer into the minds and culture of a deeply superstitious town in argentina which is an impressive thing to do. One of the best parts about this movie to me is that it introduces so much lore that people from this town all seem to just kind of know and understand as the truth, yet I never felt like I was struggling to catch up or understand where they were coming from. It is unsettling, and every scene feels like something new. Score 9/10

Merry Christmas and a Happy Saw Year! Synopsis Let me go into a little synopsis of saw x for you. In saw x we see the return of john kramer and he is searching for a cure to his terminal brain cancer. As he goes through the grieving process of his own mortality, he runs into a friend that may hold the key to a cure. An experimental surgery that is groundbreaking and exactly what john needs.  We get to follow John through his Journey to health but he finds out it’s not all what it appears, with hope fading John is ready to play a game with All new Traps but the same gore that we have come to expect out of the Franchise.  Review  Overall I did enjoy this movie, it had me squirming in my seat and kept me engaged for most of the film. Do I think this is a groundbreaking masterpiece? no , in my opinion it is the best saw movie since the first one. It’s what you would expect from a saw movie, traps and blood. I’m happy that we get to follow john and see another side of him and get more character development. There is definitely parts of the movie that don’t make sense for me but you pretty much know what you are going in for.

Will robo-santa win you over? Only if you believe. Synopsis CBC pits off-brand lead character Tori (Riley Dandy) against a malfunctioning, homicidal robot-Santa manufactured by Uncle Sam. Tori runs a shop next door to a toy store with one of the killer Kriss Kringles and … mayhem ensues. Review of Christmas Bloody Christmas Review: This flick takes the concept of intelligent tech (a concept popularized by 80s slashics like Maximum Overdrive, Deadly Friend, Chopping Mall, RoboCop, and Terminator) and Frankensteins it onto another favorite 80s concept: the killer Santa. Of course, the gold standard for killer Santas was set by Charles Sellier’s ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ in 1984, but that doesn’t stop modern directors from trying to put their own special spin on the ax-wielding punisher of naughty boys and girls. Last year alone, we got three new entries in the category: Violent Night, The Mean One, and Joe Begos’s Xmas Bloody Xmas. I can easily say that Begos’s option is my favorite. Not because it’s a perfect film. The top half is talk-heavy. The lead character is somewhat annoying. And with Begos aiming for a Rob Zombie aesthetic – lots of neon light and oversaturated primary colors – much of the action is muddy and hard to discern, which is a bummer since some of the gore looks really good. Heads get stomped and split down the middle; eyes get poked with the ass-end of Santa’s ax, multiple cops gets shotgunned in the facial. This grindhouse gruesomeness isn’t helped by the cinematography, but I still appreciate that Begos shot the movie in 16mm and included plenty of gore for his core audience. There’s also lots of references to iconic horror properties; and, I like the cast. Riley Dandy delivers an effective final girl with Tori – the smart-mouthed and strong-minded record store owner caught in the middle of robo-SantApocalypse with a bunch of dimwitted men who refuse to listen to her advice. The exception is Robbie (played by Sam Delich), her equally saucy and opinionated employee whose Xmas wish (tho unstated) is to get into Tori’s pants. He gets his wish, and lasts longer than any of the other dudes because he actually listens to Tor. And that’s largely what this flick is about. But also, it’s a mindless blood-and-guts movie about a killer Santa that slices and dices without rhyme or reason. If taken with a big heaping boulder of salt, it can be plenty of fun.  Score 6/10

This fun exorcism romp is more fun than riding a Vespa across Europe. Listen to Bryce and Sydney break it down. Synopsis The Pope’s Exorcist is a 2023 film that follows Father Gabriele Amorth, the real life Chief Exorcist of the Vatican from 1986-2016, as he goes around to possibly possessed adults and children and cures them of their affliction, through unconventional and sometimes frowned upon means. The movie follows Amorth, played by the award winning actor Russell Crowe, as he tries to get rid of a very powerful demon that has attached itself to a little American boy named Henry, who has just moved into an inherited Spanish castle with his mother and sister. This movie is based on true events and documents from the Vatican, as well as being based on two books Father Amorth wrote before his death in 2016. There are some true elements to the story but a lot of it has been fictionalized to make this slightly scary, sometimes funny exorcism movie.  Review of The Pope’s Exorcist In reviewing this movie, we have to take into account how many movies try to be The Exorcist, and ultimately fall flat because no one could ever top the 1973 horror classic. This movie definitely takes cues from its predecessor, with the possessed boy shouting obscenities at his mother and the priests, body contortion, some suspenseful and mysterious scenes, and an origin story for the demon that honestly was refreshing to all the other long played out demon stories. This movie got better the longer it ran, but it is in no way a slow paced movie. Every minute has you wanting to keep watching. It starts off a bit basic for long time horror movie lovers like me, but it got more interesting as it progressed. And with a 100 minute run time, it is the perfect length for a movie night.  The script is very basic and mimics many other exorcism movies, and at times the characters would probably be better off not speaking than saying their bare bones lines to get the plot moving. But whoever wrote this movie was obviously highlighting Russell Crowe. They gave him the best lines, the most backstory, in a way he was the most, if not only, interesting character in the entire film. He solves everyone’s problems, he makes the characters and the audience laugh, we can sympathize with him while also being very interested in what his next move should be. As a viewer, it seems as though he had the time of his life filming this movie, and that is what makes it watchable in my opinion. There were good gorey scenes, some of the lines from the possessed boy were so outrageous that it made me step back and say okay maybe this movie has more going for it than I had originally thought. Ultimately, it is very entertaining, but it would have been nothing without Russell Crowe. Score 8/10

Do you believe that this sequel is good? It’s going to take some strong faith on your part. Synopsis The Exorcist: Believer is a direct sequel to the original 1973 The Exorcist. In this film, we get not one, but two, that’s right two possessions for the price of one. When two teenage girls go out into the woods to perform a séance, they disappear and reappear days later acting… strange. Their parents struggle to find out why the reason th… It’s possession, they are possessed. The father of one of the girls played by Leslie Odom Jr. must recruit an Oceans 11 type ragtag group of exorcists and Chris MacNeil reprised by Ellen Burstyn, who I can only assume had an important boat she wanted to buy. Review of Exorcist: Believer NBCUniversal shelled out 400 million on the rights to The Exorcist IP and entrusted David Gordon Green to work his soft reboot magic that he showed with the Halloween franchise. They’ve committed to producing two more of these exorcist films, and after watching this one… I’m not  a believer. Much like most of the previous sequel and prequels in the franchise, this film fails to recapture the humanity, darkness, and complexity of the original. You could point to the fact that they keep giving these movies to mediocre or hack directors, but even John Boorman fucked up The Exorcist 2, and he directed Deliverance. Also, since The Exorcist was released, it seems like there is rarely a year that goes by that there isn’t an exorcism themed horror movie in theaters. It’s a tired horror trope at this point. As a result, The Exorcist: Believer comes off as another generic possession movie going through the motions while skipping all the “boring” parts like relationships, character development, or mystery. A lot of eyes have rolled over some of the messaging in this movie about being woke. Ellen Burstyn’s line about not being part of the damn patriarchy and being excluded from the original exorcism comes off as heavy handed and completely detached from the story of the original film. I think Chris MacNeil’s character is the greatest casualty of this film. However, I think the root problem is that in trying to make Exorcism more inclusive and exploring the universality of evil, it comes off as wishy washy and noncommittal. Score 3/10 https://youtu.be/RAR4_7LCDIg

Hey remember David Day? He came back to listen to and respond to your voicemails with Bryce.

Who possessed these filmmakers to make one of the worst sequels of all time? The Exorcist 2 is a befuddling mess that bears no resemblance to the original. Synopsis In this sequel to the Exorcist, Father Lamont, played by Richard Burton, is assigned to investigate the last exorcism of Father Merrin to clear his name of any doubt of faith. Father Lamont finds Regan spending her time in therapy in a psychiatric institute that appears to be the backrooms of Westworld. Her doctor, Gene Tuskin, played by Louise Fletcher is testing out a new device that synchronizes hypnotic states… or something. In the course of her experiments and Father Lamont’s investigation, we find out that Regan isn’t Exorcized, but just mostly exorcized. In the end, we get more pazuzu than we bargained for… Review of The Exorcist II: The Heretic The Exorcist still stands as one of the best movies of all time, and still is my favorite horror movie. So I have always been intrigued by The Exorcist 2, and the fact that it’s so bad, that almost no one ever talks about it. Exorcist 2 is widely regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, and probably the worst sequel ever made. How does this happen? If you look at the cast, there are some real heavy hitters. The film’s cast includes one Oscar winner (Louise Fletcher) and five Oscar nominees (Linda Blair, Max von Sydow, Richard Burton, Ned Beatty, and James Earl Jones). It’s directed by Sir John Boorman, the director of Deliverance. In short, a bunch of people that should have known better than to absolutely abandon everything that made the original good. Instead of grounding the story in reality and the characters’ humanity to further analyze the nature of good, evil, and faith; we are treated to some kind of scifi supernatural fever dream. The film feels like it was written on the fly, and that’s not far from the truth. After it’s disastrous opening, it was pulled twice from theaters to be recut, and even after all that, this film is utterly befuddling. There are some scenes, especially involving the hypnotism device, that are so hilariously inept that it feels like they were written as jokes. If you dig deep enough, you can find some interesting ideas about good attracting evil, and the dangers of getting too close to evil, but they are completely overwhelmed by the bizarre choices in the story. It is a very bad movie, but the case can be made that it’s so bad that it’s good. This is definitely an oddity, and could be a good time with friends if you want something to riff on while watching. Score 3/10

Why make the feature length version of a beloved fake trailer when you can make a watered down Blumhouse-style remake? Synopsis Plymouth, Mass the indigenous home of the pilgrims is beset by a mysterious Thanksgiving-inspired killer. Wearing the mask of Plymouth’s founder and dressed as a pilgrim, the killer seems to be exacting revenge on those involved in a deadly Black Friday riot a year earlier. Between the holiday themed kills a cast of teens led by JEssica (Nell Verlaque), as well as the sexiest sheriff alive played by patrick dempsey try to unmask the killer and save the town. Review of Thanksgiving This film is based off of a fake trailer that Eli Roth created for Grindhouse to play in between the double feature Planet Terror (2007) and Death Proof (2007). The trailer was an homage to 80s hard R slashers such as Pieces and My Bloody Valentine. The film, instead of being a gritty and stylish homage, Thanksgiving feels like a lazy Blumhouse remake of a much more iconic movie.  There are some great kills, half of which are shown in the trailer, but they are wrapped with a bland sanitized script full of too many uninteresting characters.  Eli Roth really seems to be phoning it in on the directing. The film comes off as lazy, since there is very little style and the editing is constantly undercutting the impact of some scenes by dwelling a second too long, or not giving you crucial information. Overall it comes off as an unseasoned and undercooked turkey of a movie. Score 4/10

In this follow up to Freaky, writer Michael White takes on the Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life in this disappointing horror sendup. Synopsis In the sleepy town of Angel Falls, Winnie Caruthers kills a rampaging masked killer and saves the town from further massacre. After a year, she has never fully recovered from the trauma of the killer killing best friend, and everyone around her inexplicably is a huge dick to her about it. In a moment of despair she wishes that she never existed, and a magical aurora borealis grants her wish and she gets inserted into an alternate reality where she never killed the masked murderer, and he has continued his rampage. Review of It’s a Wonderful Knife Coming off of the success of Freaky, a horror sendup of the Freaky Friday premise writer Michael White attempts for a repeat by creating this horror parody of It’s a Wonderful Life. The problem is on the surface the premise doesn’t make any sense. “Oh how I wish I’d never existed so I didn’t have to kill that serial killer” just doesn’t come off as a logical desire.  However the most egregious sin of the movie is it’s entirely inconsistent tone. Is this supposed to be an over the top satire? Is it supposed to be a heartwarming morality play with an edge? Is it supposed to be a visceral gory horror film with sardonic humor? It ends up being nothing other than a tonally confusing mess. It feels like the film went through 5 rewrites while shooting, one of which being done by an 8 year old. One example of this inconsistency is exemplified in the character of Winnie’s father played by Joel McHale. I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be a sympathetic character, an inconsiderate asshole, or a psychopath. Some of this is due to the plot taking place between two different realities, but the problem is really that they never truly establish his character in the first place. The film makes a lot of bizarre choices not only in the story, but in the production. The first couple of deaths used some of the least convincing digital blood that I have ever seen in a theatrical release. By the end of the movie it goes completely off the rails and adds inexplicable supernatural powers to one of the villains. Score 3/10

Insidious is the scary origin story of Darth Maul. Listen as Bryce and Max dissect this modern classic. Synopsis Insidious is a movie about the lambert family, Josh played by Patrick Wilson and his wife Renae played by Rose Byrne who i love, have just moved into a new home when their son Dalton played by some little boy slips into a mysterious coma. Unable to wake the boy the Lamberts feel defeated, and just when they think things cant get worse they start to experience INSIDIOUS activity in the house. After attempting to rid themselves of the apparitions the old fashioned way – moving – they realize that they are in way over their heads and seek help from a psychic medium. Wacky hijinks ensue. Eventually, they are able to learn more about the INSIDIOUS forces preying on their son, but are they focusing too much on the wrong thing? The movie is directed by James Wan, who you might recall directed little-known movies like Saw and the Conjuring and Aquaman. The writer Leigh Whannel who also plays a goofy ghost hunter is also the same guy who plays Adam in Saw. Review of insidious Now onto my review of Insidious. Insidious is a chaotic movie that throws a lot at the wall hoping something will stick. Luckily for James Wan, some of it does and we are left with a movie that is imperfect, but enjoyable none the less. The movie attempts to scare the viewer in many different ways but mostly relies on being creepy and jump scaring you when you least expect it. It even has one of the most notable jump scares in horror movie history which Im sure we will cover in the spoilers section. While Im not usually a fan of super quiet scenes that end with a really loud noise meant to startle you, insidious does do this well a couple of times. The acting is sometimes a little over the top for me, but how could I be mad when I get to stare at Patrick and Roses beautiful faces for 1 hour and 43 minutes. In the end we are left with a classic for the 2010s era of horror and a personal favorite of mine because it reminds me of being a teenager.  Score 7/10

Some would say it’s too early to remake, Willy’s Wonderland. But whenever I say that, 10 year-olds yell at me unintelligibly. Synopsis Many remakes end up outshining the original, like John Carpenter’s The Thing and Cronenberg’s The Fly. But it’s inevitable to still ask, do we really need a remake of Willy’s Wonderland? It’s only been two years since Willy’s Wonderland broke new ground with the concept of a haunted Chuck E Cheese whose animatronics attack a night time security guard. Well Here we are with Five Night’s At Freddy’s, Which tells the tale of a haunted Chuck E. Cheese who’s animatronics attack a night time security guard. Except this time, there is dialogue. Will this addition of character development and extra plot propel this remake into the lofty heights of The Thing and The Fly? Only time will tell. Review of Five Nights at Freddy’s In evaluating Five Nights at Freddy’s and determining what type of movie this is going to be, there is really only one piece of information that you need to know. It’s starring Josh Hutcherson. So you can expect to get a rather harmless horror movie that has a subtle moodiness. You can go in and rest assured that nothing truly awful is going to befall the guy that played Peeta in the Hunger Games movie. Much like when I saw that Brenden Frasier was starring in the 90s The Mummy, I knew that it was going to be a goofy harmless adventure movie. This is a very confusing movie, and it took until the end before I had any semblance of understanding what was going on. Why were the animatronics haunted by murderous children, and why is sleeping on the job not a fireable offense for a nighttime security guard? These and other questions are half answered by a culminating reveal that will make you go, “Wait what? Ok whatever…” I really don’t know what people expected from an adaptation of a spooky video game, and I have little to no knowledge of the source material, but this is a movie. It feels like a movie, and not just a factory of jump scares, which is what I would expect. But in the end, it’s not that interesting of a movie. Most of the plot seems very tacked on and arbitrary. Like a wacky mad libs of character development. “Name a traumatic life experience that haunts a protagonist: Brother kidnapped when he was younger.” “Name a precocious attribute of the young sister: colors creepy and precinct drawings”. Nothing particularly feels real or connected throughout the plot, and it resulted in me being pretty disconnected from the characters or having any real interest in the resolution of the story. It mostly felt like waiting until a reveal, and that’s pretty much exactly what happened. Score 4/10

Just a short “episode” to give some updates to my thinking and confirm that I am planning on coming back.

The Burbs is a great movie Synopsis Cool guy has chill day Review Dope AF Score 9/10

David is stepping away from Horror Movie Talk, and we are going on an indefinite hiatus. Listen to our announcement special episode for more information.

James Cameron’s sci-fi time travel masterpiece is also an iconic monster movie for horror fans. Listen to us discuss the OG Terminator. Synopsis The Terminator is about a machine that terminates. But it’s not bugs like you’d think, it’s people. But not people now in the future from when the Terminator is from, but from the present in the past. It kills present day people from the past, by traveling from the future present.  Also sent from the now future is Kyle Reece, who needs to save his bosses mom from the Terminator and also generally just be a bummer. Review of The Terminator The Terminator as a film is much like it’s titular monster. Slick, focused, and effective. The tone is bleak, and unlike other time travel movies, is stripped of all humor inherent the premise. The script is tight and communicates that the future is a nightmare, and needs to be stopped at all cost.  Arnold Schwartzenegger gets the role that further pushes him into stardom with his iconic lines like “I’ll be back”,and “Hey, I’m Terminating here!” James Cameron, in his second feature film, second only to Pirahna 2, creates a fully realized sci-fi masterpiece. The special effects of the Stan Winston Studio and the music of the Brad Fiedel augment what is really just a low budget slasher movie. The Terminator operated off of a budget of only 6.5 mil. Compare that to The Ice Pirates that came out the same year, that had a budget of 9 million, which was also considered low.  Score 10/10

Wes Anderson has made a new film, just like the old films, and you will probably chuckle at it and be delighted like the smug little shit that you are. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. Synopsis We follow the narrative of a writer who is writing a play in real time as though the play is happening in real life. If that sounds confusing, it is. The characters in the play find themselves in a remote desert location called Asteroid city for a young scientists competition and stargazing event. All of the characters are tragically human and simultaneously completely devoid of expressive human emotion. An alien shows up and blows everyone’s mind, but not so much that it changes the trajectory of anyone but a single boy’s life or mind. Life is weird and complicated. Review I can honestly say that Asteroid City is exactly as worthwhile, fun, and interesting as any of Wes Anderson’s catalog of films.  Sometimes it’s nice to feel the wind in your hair, and that’s exactly what I get when I start any Wes Anderson movie except for The Darjeeling Limited, which I hate without reason. Asteroid City is a bombshell full of A-List actors, incredibly lit scenes, and emotionless emotion.  It has fun dialog and lots of interesting eye candy to keep you entertained.  In-fact, Asteroid City understands the medium of film so well that it’s almost perfect in it’s execution. That is to say, a film is meant to be interesting to look at, with dialog and concepts to stir the mind, and with characters who evoke impressive emotion within the watcher.  I will say that some of the dialog is delivered so quickly, and with so little difference in inflection that I often found myself not knowing what had just been said. Also, it’s hard to care too much about some of the main characters for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, it’s divulged that the story of Asteroid City is a play that is being written by another main character. This level of abstraction seemed overly complicated and unnecessary to the story. The same effect could be achieved with some inner monologue, in my opinion. Second is the story is spread among so many characters that few receive enough screen time individually to make me care too much about any of them. These are minor sins in an otherwise fun and funny exploration of the human condition by the world’s most symmetrical film director. Score 9/10

Which Final Destination you ask? Don’t worry about it. Lets just say that it’s mostly about the first one. Synopsis Alex (don’t call him a psychic) Browning along with 40 other high school students board a plane to Paris for a school trip. While still boarding, Alex has a vision of the plane exploding and killing everyone on board. He causes a scene when he tries to warn others and as a result Alex, five other students, and one of their teachers are forced to leave the plane. While arguing in the terminal, they all witness the plane explode upon taking flight. They are all stunned that they cheated death, yet soon find out that death will not be cheated, because as the film posits… death a muhfucker. Review Final Destination, and the franchise that followed cracked the code of what horror fans really want: amusing deaths. We don’t really care if it’s a knife wielding psychopath, an ancient demon, or a possessed doll. As long as there are deaths that we can chuckle about and talk about afterwards, we’re game.  Final Destination removes all the clutter, and just focuses on delivering elaborate and ridiculous deaths. Sure it throws in some explanation and rules for why it is happening, but that is all window dressing. The result is a campy fun horror movie that is a fun watch. Score 7/10

In A24’s newest horror movie, we get the expected mix of horror, dread, and emotion that you expect with the brand. Synopsis Talk to Me is about a young group of friends who get wrapped into the latest social media trend: demonic possession! An acquaintance came into possession of a creepy ceramic hand, and if they shake hands with it and say the magic words, they can see the dead, and even experience being possessed for a minute and a half. As you would expect, it’s a great time. That is until the Mia, played by Sophia Wilde, gets in contact with her dead mom, and can’t seem to shake of the visions of the dead, even when not using the hand. In the end we learn two things: Demons lie Australians need more parental supervision Review of Talk To Me This is a really great movie. It is a rehashing of familiar demon possession tropes, but it has it’s own unique vibe.  What hits hardest is the intense scenes of violence. I was squirming in my seat in a lot of scenes, and the movie holds on to those moments for a little longer than most. It’s like a more sadistic Evil Dead movie. There is a juxtaposition of empathy and apathy throughout the movie that is really interesting. We have fleshed out characters that love and care for each other, however the teen group dynamic around these Seances are full of apathy in search of novelty. It’s the dynamic you see in internet videos that show people popping out cameras instead of helping someone in distress. I would have liked a little more fleshing out of the father daughter relationship between Mia and her dad. This would have made their scenes more impactful and tragic. There was a lot unsaid, which isn’t a bad thing, but I think there should have been at least another scene or two showing their dynamic to explain why Mia wants to avoid him. There are strong undertones of drug culture. The destructive yet addicting effects of the hand have parallels to casual hard drug use. The ending is the perfect conclusion for the tone of the movie. It sticks with you as being dreadful, but still gives a strong resolution. Score 9/10

Willy’s Wonderland can be found on Hulu right now, but who knows once this comes out. Synopsis Willy’s Wonderland follows a nameless cool guy in sunglasses played by Nic Cage as he stumbles into an intricate and deadly trap involving a defunct family restaurant. When he needs to pay for repairs to his bitchin Camero, he is offered an overnight janitor job at Willy’s Wonderland, an off-brand Chuck-e-cheese inhabited only by creepy animatronic puppets. In no time, these creepy animatronics attack Nic Cage, and he has to fight them off between soda breaks. Review Going into this movie, the consensus that I heard is that it is pretty much exactly what you expect. Dumb, with Nic Cage fighting animatronics. That is what it is. The one thing that might be surprising is that Cage has zero dialogue. All of his acting is done through stoic hardened gazes and impromptu pinball celebration dances. Even without dialogue, Cage is really the only enjoyable part of this movie. Everything else feels like low effort filler. The 1 hour 20 minute runtime feels like 4 hours at times.  Watch Willy’s Wonderland Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Watch It is very very very very repetitive. Once Cage is in the restaurant, it alternates between one one one attacks and soda breaks. The only change up comes when some teens appear to be fodder for the animatronics, and the backstory of the place is explained through the occasional expositional dialogue. The most disappointing aspect of the movie is that the fight scenes seem so low effort, and they all seem to be nearly identical. It’s not a great movie, but it is an interesting oddity. I just wish that the filmmakers went further than just the novelty of the premise. Score 3/10

Does this Shutter make you shudder? I’ll see myself out… Synopsis After a night out with friends, a photographer named Tun and his girlfriend Jane are driving home when they accidentally hit a woman in the street. Instead of helping her, Tun convinces Jane to run to avoid responsibility. In the days after Tun starts to notice strange artifacts in his photos. They soon realize that this isn’t regular photography, its…G-G-G-Ghost photograph. As the photo ghost continues to haunt them, they try to unravel the mystery behind why she is haunting them. Review of Shutter (2004) This is a pretty ok movie. It’s pretty run of the mill formula of “here’s a paranormal phenomena thats talked about on Discovery channel, lets wrap a movie around it.” It loses points for relying way too much on ghost pikaboo and disorientating fakeouts. I think they would have done better trying to scare the audience with jumpscares, and focused on the drama/mystery more. The repetition of jump scares and creepy photos throughout the second act are only interrupted by confusing non-sequiter appearances of one of Tun’s friends, Tonn, asking desperately for photographs before his untimely death. It all makes sense in the end, but the pacing and editing were off so it feels like the first half of the movie crashed into a second movie halfway through. The story behind the ghost is the most compelling part of the movie, and unfortunately they leave most of that until the third act.  Overall it was an interesting story with pacing issues, but at an hour and thirty minute runtime, it never really outstayed its welcome. Score 5/10

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun, action/comedy that makes you wonder why it took so long to get a decent D&D movie made. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/IiMinixSXII Synopsis A charming thief with nothing to lose and everything to gain embarks on an epic quest to find a party of like-minded ne’er-do-wells who will help him obtain a long lost relic.  This plucky adventure takes a turn for the worst when evil red wizards start taking over the Neverwinter. Will our band of fun and quirky characters pull off the heist of a lifetime, or will they end up part of the army of the dead? Review Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves takes a game that historically has been considered one of the dorkiest, nerdiest, most basement dwelling neckbeardian IP’s in the free world and attempts to make it appeal to general audiences. Somehow, they did it! They made Dungeons and Dragons digestible for your jock boyfriends, your football dads, and your Christian mothers Boggle groups.  Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun and easygoing romp through an incredible fantasy world that isn’t bogged down with over-ripe lore or too-serious stakes.  It’s comedy chops are great, which really keeps the audience grounded almost as well as the fabulous casting.  Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and Hugh Grant anchor the cast and keep everyone in lockstep for the duration.  The pacing is appropriate and holds everyone’s attention by constantly showcasing some of the coolest fantasy world elements I’ve ever seen.  Watch Dungeons and Dragons Honor Among Thieves Buy or Rent on Amazon Click Here to Watch If Star Trek can have a resurgence there is absolutely no reason Dungeons and Dragons shouldn’t too. This IP has some of the most detailed and thorough content in the entire world, spanning the tabletop games, multiple book series, and dozens of video and card games.  What we get in this movie is lots of fun, tons of great laughs, some astonishing eye candy, and the most generic of plots and stakes.  Sometimes generic is alright, and this is the exact case that proves that point. No one wants a deadly serious Dungeons and Dragons movie. No one plays a deadly serious game of Dungeons and Dragons.  It’s fine that the story and plot are generic and somewhat foggy. Will it win awards and be lauded throughout time? No, but it won’t go down as a failure and an embarrassment to nerds everywhere. Score 7/10

Come on Barbie let’s go cry, oh oh no. Synopsis Barbie is about a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it’s fantastic That’s until she starts having intrusive thoughts of death, and her body undergoes changes that are new and disturbing to her. Barbie soon finds herself on a journey leaving Barbieland behind and going into the real world where she tries to solve the mystery of her psychological and physical changes. There is also Ken. Review of Barbie I partook in the cultural phenomena that was Barbenheimer on opening night, first watching the 3 hour long Oppenheimer biopic alone and then watching Barbie with my wife afterwards. Oppenheimer was good and told an interesting story that conveyed an impressive amount of information even for a 3 hour long movie. Barbie entered my head and has not left since I watched it the first time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it throughout the week. I yearned to watch certain scenes again, and consumed interviews with the cast and the director to process the overwhelming spectacle that was Barbie I’ll stand here, without any irony or shame, and say that I think Barbie might be the best movie of the decade so far, and the best movie of the year, without a question. Everyone involved was firing on all cylinders. Casting, acting, writing, directing, production design, music, choreography. All were perfect. I was smiling ear to ear the whole time, except when I was crying. My wife and I were rolling from laughing throughout. It also goes surprisingly deep with existentialism and feminism. I watched it again last night, and even after hearing criticisms about it being unfunny or that it was propaganda, the second viewing only cemented my opinion.  Score 10/10