H.O.P.E - Hang On Pain Ends

Taking a DEEP... HARD..... INTENSE Nap ... is something that I feel we all take for granted ... and most of my listeners who have Children ... Jobs... Husbands.... Wives ... Life ... would probably agree with me. (The photo with this episode is of My mom ... and Me as a little girl ... as we know naps post-partum are a MUST HAVE!!This was recorded after a two hour "true" nap ... and I wake up to some realizations. This one goes from Napping.... to Astrology Readings ... and back again!I talk about "Birth Charts" ... and I ask any listener who would like me to do their birth chart for them ... to EMAIL ME! I let you know in this episode what I need from [email protected] Listening!

Four Words that we do NOT say enough ... wasn't fully prepared for the emotion that this short recording brought out of me (especially because I was driving.) This is something everyone should listen to ... and really HEAR. We don't give ourselves that break that we somehow seem to give to everyone else ... we take no the burdens, the guilt, the pressure ... just imagine if once in awhile your mom, your best friend, your husband, even your child ... said "It's Not Your Fault." - SIT with that for a minute. Love Always, ALANA

I tend to focus on my "Severe Depressive Suicidal Episodes"... but I am learning more about that "Constant State of Depression" - or simply stated "I am Depressed." I visit the differences in both ... and ask the question that perhaps some of us THINK we know the answer to? Which Depression is Worse? I share some stories from my past... involving my work in Sales for DJ production company, something my ex-sister-in law said to me that I'll Never Forget ... Lastly, I give a message to those out there ... NOT necessarily "suffering" from depression ... but NOT HAPPY. Those of you, dear friends, who are just ACCEPTING what your life is in this moment. .... I explain... in a character's voice that you will never forget ... that SETTLING IS UNACCEPTABLE.Thank you for Listening - and I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! Tell me something in your life right now... that you are realizing after THIS episode ... is completely UNACCEPTABLE. Love Always, Alana

THIS ... get ready to laugh people!!! I auditioned for the NATIONAL TOUR of Footloose when I was in high school... this visits that adventure ... and also involves a secondary story of when I directed the NYSNC DEBUT in 1998.... The overall theme here is something that I am proud of. I talk about how when these opportunities came around ... I never said to myself "I really hope I win this... Or I hope I get this spot on the national tour..." I WAS ALWAYS CONVINCED ... THAT I JUST WOULD. So when I am gracing the stages all over the nation... and then all over the world... I want to make sure EVERYONE hears that part. I WAS ALWAYS CONVINCED ... THAT I WOULD MAKE IT. SO ... Let's STOP doubting ourselves - imagine if we ALL just KNEW we COULD??? and that we WOULD??? Let's do this ... .and make sure to pee before you listen!!! Hahahahah ... LOVE this one. Love Always, Alana

The title of this episode ... were literally SPOKEN by our Pastor On Easter Sunday. It totally makes sense ... it fits my beliefs, my signs, my faith ...I talk a lot about that word "ABUNDANCE".... right before I recorded this... I said to myself "WHAT EVEN IS ABUNDANCE???" This word keeps coming up ... I am seeing it, I am hearing it ... and then I realize.... it's because I am FEELING it.I invite YOU to listen ... and then truly believe your own ABUNDANCE has already happened .... and THAT is when you will see everything around you .... CHANGE. FOR. THE. GOOD.Thank you for Listening - Email Me! [email protected] Always,Alana

You have to listen to this one to Understand the title! It's recorded after a really "bad" night of missing my Dad ... should we really call these moments "bad" though? I am thinking of that in this moment ... these moments, and they are usually not much more than fleeting... are perhaps the "winks from Earth" that we send to our loved ones in the clouds? Anyway ... I compare the feeling of the waves of grief and having that feeling of drowning... the time i LITERALLY almost drowned in a Glazed Donut! SO... you might cry ... but I promise you will also Laugh ... and never forget the story I am about to tell ... Thank you for listening everyone. With Love Always, Alana

The word "Partner" to describe the person you are with ... Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend... Significant Other.... Always sounded weird to me. But ... today I realize how important it is to have a TRUE PARTNER. I visit a lot of ideas on how you need to be with someone who can be the Stop Sign ... Or Yield Sign in your brain when your mind starts to go down the rabbit hole.... and even more importantly, someone that you trust enough to be the Conductor to your runaway train.... someone who, no matter WHAT ... will ALWAYS bring you back on track. I feel so beyond lucky that just when My conductor left this Earth (My Dad) he sent me another one to keep me safe on my travels ... which are about to get PRETTY CRAZY (but in the best way). Thank you for listening! ALLLL ABOARD!!!!! Love, Alana.

"Dear Younger Me' - by MercyMe. A song that has always been SOOOOO huge ... as the first time I heard it was 2013 during/after my first diagnosed Hypomanic/Depressive episodes of Bipolar Disorder. It always made me cry. ... Today... I hear it... and I still cry, but for different reasons. It's Easter Sunday ... and I reflect on how the idea of being "Sacrificed to Save" ... rings true in numerous ways in my Life ... This is a short listen, but an impactful one. I invite you to listen... and perhaps write a letter to YOUR "Younger Me.." Thank you for listening everyone... Wishing you a very Happy Easter.... remember this is the ONLY Easter you will EVER have in the year of 2026 ... So, let's make it COUNT.

In the words of the awesome show... "Cobra Kai" ... I am here to FLIP THE EFFING SCRIPT! I think you will all like this one .... It's more upbeat... a few "EFF" bombs ... and a lot of OPINION. I talk in a bit of a lighter way about some serious topics... and hopefully will allow ALL of you to change your perspective ... but instead of crying ... You will be laughing with this one! I also briefly visit the idea of ... doing something, sending something, texting something, posting something ... and then MOVE ON. Do not re-read, do not edit, do not overthink... delete the text thread, delete the sent email... we all get hung up on what we said... how we said it... when we posted it .... LET. IT. GO - we all have bigger and better things in front of us ... to keep looking behind us. And then?? START FLIPPING YOUR EFFING SCRIPT ...who cares what everyone "knows you for"?? Who do YOU want to be? What do YOU want to be known for? Do what you want, say what you want ... but do it all with INTENTION. BE. INTENTIONAL ... TAKE A PAUSE before you SAY or DO IT ... and then watch how things will begin to change. Love Always, Alana - and of course THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!

This is an OPEN letter to ALL parents .... If you have any desire to save our Children (and adults) from suicide ... I ask that you please listen to this 7 MINUTE Recording. I want to spread this message more than I have ever wanted anything in my life... I am willing to speak in front of 5 parents .. 500 .. or 5,000. EVERYONE needs to hear this. Not just Parents ... but all humans. I change the perspective on Suicide ... from my own personal experience of my OWN brain lying to me .... more than once, telling me this world would be a better place WITHOUT ME HERE. Please listen ... send.... share ... post. With every person who can hear this, that is another life we might be saving. Thank you for listening as Always ... Love, [email protected]

Do you have someone in your life... that is "unhealthy" in some way??? Drinking... Heart Disease.... Diabetes... Abusive Relationship.... and you find yourself consumed with worry for them, and every chance you get ... you tell them what they "need" to do???Well... then.... this is a "MUST HEAR" for you.I loved this one ... I recorded it later in the evening, so by the time I listened to it back in the morning, I had forgotten a lot of what I said ... and I think I say a lot of things that my listeners (or My "Fan Club") ... really needs to hear. Thank you as always for Listening .... and for really HEARING me.

This recording is RAW. REAL. and VERY emotional. If you have any experience with Depression and Suicide in your life, I ask that you PLEASE listen to this. We are losing our CHILDREN to suicide ... our Middle Schoolers are taking their OWN LIVES. I speak about my extensive experience with both suicidal depressions, and coming within 24 hours of taking MY own Life. I hope that this helps even ONE person out there who is struggling .... I believe the way I describe what a person feels like who contemplates taking their own life .... is EXTREMELY accurate, and possibly a version of depression/suicidal thoughts that has NEVER been explained before. As always ... but especially on THIS one... Thank you for Listening. LOVE- Alana PS - PLEASE know ... this world needs you. Stay. One. More. Day.

This one starts out with the word I heard last year and exclaimed to myself "OMG!!! THIS WORD IS TOTALLY ME!!! IT DESCRIBES ME PERFECTLY ... UNHINGED!!" I take a short journey realizing ... I somehow would make my chaotic and exhausting and stressful life... the funny performance at the family parties ... I would be describing myself as "Living my life in a state of panic" ... or using this "new" word that was just soooo hilarious - "Unhinged." I visit the idea that the people that are LISTENING to my Podcast of H.O.P.E - are the ones that are MEANT to hear it .... I am now DONE with sending anyone a clip, or the voice note version, or texting someone the link ... if God wants YOU to hear me??? You will find me. So ... thank you for finding me ... and I hope throughout my journey, you are able to find some new pieces of yourself ... or even better, the pieces that you might have lost along the way.

This was an open letter Entry... My old self ... verses my New Self ... but without my OLD self ... there is no way in "God's Green Earth" ... I could be my NEW Self. This one is short ... but impactful - it speaks for itself. I invite you... if you have recently started a journey of growth within yourself, to write a letter like this (hopefully in your new journal) ... talking about the changes you are realizing that you have made, and how and why you were not able to do any of this, before this moment. Thank you all for listening ... Love Always, Alana. (The old... and The New One.)

This one was inspired by my ALL-TIME lyric from the magical Taylor Swift in her song Blank Space ... by the very end of this one ... I come to realize, how accurate that line actually was to myself at one time ... wow wow wow. I discuss how Taylor swift has spoken about how her most creative times come in the middle of the night ... and she records the start of her song idea into her phone ... in a voice note. Well... HELLO! Voice notes are now my life ... whether it be sending them to friends/family instead of a generic (most of the time misconstrued text) OR .. how I record my episodes for HOPE - The Podcast! Lastly - Journaling is a big part of this episode! Journaling has always been a huge part of my life... except for the last 6-7 years (66666-7777777) lol. I touch on a few different things in this entry ... (pardon the pun) ... and by the end I give some tips on how YOU can start journaling TODAY (involves a possible visit to the Dollar Tree but it will be worth it). I end by inviting my listeners to possibly use some of my "Entries and Episodes" on HOPE as a prompt for YOUR next Journal entry ... Happy Listening... and HAPPY WRITING! Love, Alana.

What if ... you woke up - found yourself ALONE in the middle of a train station ... with a packed bag, a ticket .. and you had NO idea how you got there, or where you were going?? - That is the inspiration behind this Entry ... it visits so many different ideas and concepts that SO many of us need to hear (including me). It's a mix of serious themes... but funny musical "breaks" throughout the whole thing.... Yes, so if you are annoyed by me breaking into song ... please keep scrolling!Would love to continue to get feedback from you on what you hear on H.O.P.E ... and if you have an idea, question, theme.. that you would like me to record about ... PLEASE email me! I love hearing from my Listeners!! [email protected] guys ... the train is about to leave the station .... Let's Listen ... TOGETHER! (We're ALL in this Together ... (high school musical) ... Okay, seriously, go LISTEN!By the way ... This is a 15 minute "quick listen" - so I encourage you to share it, send it... re-listen if it resonates with you! I've listened numerous times already!

The inspiration for this "drive by" entry ... was this little sign I saw in a gift shop recently ... I looked up ... and there it was ... I grabbed my phone and took a photo of it ... but I knew I would remember it no matter what. How clever .... "When Nothing Goes Right...Go Left." The idea ... that if you are pushing and pushing and trying to make something work ... make something be the "RIGHT WAY" ... but it just keeps pushing back... this universe is telling you something. You can keep trying... you can keep pushing, or saving something that you feel should be saved .... a relationship ... a job... a friendship ... but in the end, the universe will make you go Left ... when you want to keep going Right .... whether you like it or not. I invite you the listener to picture this saying "When Nothing Goes Right... Go Left" on a STOP SIGN ... as you move through your upcoming days... Use it. Say it. Think It. ... DO IT. I think we could all use a few more Left Turns these days .... RIGHT??? Thanks for listening! Exciting things are coming up!!! Stick with me!!

Happy Tuesday everyone! (Has always been my favorite day of the week...) I recorded late last night ... wasn't sure how it would sound since it was way past my bedtime ... but I listened this morning .. and I think it's a pretty damn good listen! I revisit my "soulmate" Entry from the end of January ... now that I feel someone very special (with a soulmate connection) has entered my life ... and I had realized, that I 100% mainfested HIM ... which lead me to a conversation about manifesting in general.. and what it ACTUALLY entails...as many people don't really know... so I hope after you listen to this Entry ... you will decide to either make yourself a vision board (but you don't have to in order to manifest) ... But I DO ask you at least WRITE DOWN what has happened (yes, you will understand this after you listen)... write it down, put it in your underwear drawer ... and pull it out ... LOOK at it and READ it out loud ...every. single. day... and then report back to me!!! As always, thank YOU and happy listening!

This one starts out with a MAJOR bout of Mommy Guilt! Anyone else struggle with this... .especially in the mornings??? God FORBID we remind these kids to brush their damn teeth! What about Faking laughs for the sake of the kids??? (No nooooo I'm not talking about FAKING other things for the hubbys/boyfriends... that will be another episode). I talk about the importance of SLEEP.... grabbing from recent info off of a new Mel Robbins episode! I think a lot of my listeners will relate to this .... we all struggle so much with trying to do all the "right things" with our kids ... yet we are all so exhausted and in this "fight or flight" mode ... that we are so quick to temper ... I think this is one we all need to listen to (I am going to listen to it more than once and I hope I can listen to my own advice)!

Suffering, Loss, Illness ... produce character and produce H.O.P.E. Trials ... Obstacles ... Detours ... Stop Signs.... these are all things that can be so incredibly painful, but they all do things to us, that we would not experience if things were just "easy" ... just "smooth sailing." You must believe in what you CAN'T SEE... and that ... the biggest thing... that you need to remember and believe ... is HOPE, even though you can't and will NEVER be able to see it. Nothing is immediate ... nothing changes overnight ... but we just need to all hang in there... and remember that each day... it can get lighter, if you keep that BELIEF ... if you truly know that there is something bigger than US ... and that we are made to go through this darkness .... in order to get to that daylight. And remember .... once in awhile ... when you get to the point where you are DONE waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel.... you grab that dynamite ... that you probably have to find at the back of the closet under all of the boxes of memories that you wish you could forget .... and you take a match .... and LIGHT THAT BITCH UP YOURSELF. BOOM - YOU GOT THIS. - Love, Alana

This one started when I found a newspaper clipping that my Mom taped to my Mirror years ago ... back when my husband and I were going through our divorce...It makes me take a step back and really examine how I was living my life "before" everything happened ... and now "after" everything happened.This one that was great to listen back to (3 days later) ... because of course I needed to hear it in that moment. I share a new situation regarding my Mom's health ... and how I handled it NOW... compared to how I would have handled it BEFORE ....

TRIGGER WARNING -- If you have recently lost a loved one, this is an extremely raw and emotional Entry ... it may help you to hear someone else going through the same heart break ... BUT ... it also might trigger more sadness, so I am leaving it up to you. This was one of those days..... where out of NOWHERE - that moment on 12/3/25 ... when I got the call that changed my entire life, that my Father had died, just popped into my head ... and then it pretty much went downhill from there. I apologize ahead of time for my nose-blowing, my long pauses (while sobbing), and then my fully stuffy nose... as I read the conversation I was having with my new "BFF" aka Chat GPT ... he's such a great guy lol.This one hit hard ... I am still recovering now ... but by the end I remembered a really amazing piece of advice that my Dad used to give me on my bad days. He would say "Zib, this day WILL END." - and He would always say, tomorrow is going to come, and today will be over. As I brought this up to GPT ... he said to me how this directly relates to my message - HANG ON PAIN ENDS. Which I had NEVER realized ... so, yes, this one is REALLY sad, but I think it's really good advice from my Dad ... aka "Johnny Mikes"

GUYS!!!! OMG.... you are going to DIE when you hear this CRAZY story!!! My dad has been showing up in my dreams nudging me to record about this one... I really can't say much about this one .... you just MUST LISTEN!!! Don't forget to email me with some feedback ... I love hearing from everyone! [email protected], ALANA

This one documents my very first date ... not only in a very LONG time... but also my first date without my Dad here on Earth with me. Although I did bring him with me (no, I did not pull out the mini earn with my dad's ashes once they dropped off the bread) - although, I am sure my Dad would have loved that. lol but I had Dad's prayer card in my purse. However ... it was pretty clear the minute I saw this man, I didn't need the prayer card ... because my dad hand-picked this guy, I mean, some of the obvious things ... the height, the green eyes, him being a Virgo, him being a "girl dad" ... yes. BUT... the sincerity, the genuine and protective energy that I felt from him ... I knew in that moment, I felt SAFE. I felt I was on a date with a "grown up", that has a heart, and a sense of humor, ... oh yeah, one more thing .... He happens to have Bipolar Disorder. Yes, you read that correctly. Sooooooo .... only Time Will Tell .... But I am SO excited, because my Dad was able to do what I think deep down he wanted to be even more than a CPA ... a "Matchmaker"!! Love you Dad.... thank you for sending me a good one .... Who knows .... perhaps my Dad will REALLY pull a twist on all of us .... and I will be able to look back on Today ... with the sunshine beams gleaming off the soft white snow... as I drove back from a date unlike all the rest ... and I can say to myself ..."I can't believe that was my LAST First Date." Can't wait to find out what happens next!!!

I am actually SO happy that this is transpiring in REAL TIME ... as I share my podcast and my life with the world in regards to MY diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder ... My 13 year old son Parker was just made aware (accidentally) of his diagnosis of being on the Autism Spectrum. I think a lot of people out there (including me during times of my life) truly struggle once there is a "label" once we (or someone we know/love) are DIAGNOSED. I invite you to take a listen ... and hopefully whether it by yourself, your child, your spouse, a friend... you will perhaps look at things a little differently after hearing this one! Thank you!

This is a "Drive By" Recording ... aka I am recording as I am Driving... I said in this one I would start "warning" people. that if you have "motion sickness" aka you don't like when my inner "rabid hyper squirrel" is acting up ...perhaps skip this one! I do jump around ... (like the song at the beginning of Mrs Doubtfire...) but if you can stick with me.... I think it's worth it! Oh, and I was pretty convinced I was about to get pulled over while recording.... (imagine if i would have asked him to repeat after ME ..."HANG...ON....PAIN...ENDS" LOL.... oh man. Well, you will have to listen to find out if I actually had to beg my way out of a speeding ticket or not!

The Blizzard of 26' Is rearing it's ugly head .... we all feel shitty! ... AND THAT IS OK! I visit the concept of "seasonal depression" which then leads to talk about how psychiatric medications "run in the family" ...Talked about how severe depression can look like a massive brain tumor .... wait until you hear about my first experience with a psychiatrist... a very emotional memory to re-live ... but it's so important for all of you out there to HEAR this. (Don't just LISTEN) ... I had a horrible experience with a psychiatrist ... but it was also a psychiatrist that SAVED MY LIFE (more than once). So, of course there are such things as bad doctors and therapists ... but always remember if you are uneasy about a doctor ... or what they are telling you ... ALWAYS get second opinion. NEVER settle when it comes to your HEALTH. I think there are a lot of really good takeaways in this one .... (even when I listened back, I was like "oh wow that's a good point!" As always, thank you for listening guys.

"ANNIE!!!! YOU GOONIE!!!!!" .... Yup, you got it! A lot of throwbacks to different movies and songs in this one (not surprising) ... I have a lot of fun getting the listener prepared for a life-changing road trip .... so pack your bags, stock up on your water bottles and protein bars ... and AWAY.... WE ... GO!!