From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Hi, everybody. Today, I want to talk about a concept called wabi-sabi. I'm going to read the definition, and then I'm going to show you how this relates to betrayal. Ready? In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi is a worldview centered on the acceptance of transients, and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. It is the concept derived from the Buddhist teaching of the three marks of existence, specifically impermanence, suffering, and emptiness or absence of self-nurture. Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, roughness, simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy, and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes. What I love so much about this concept is it's a celebration of the imperfect. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

When experiencing a time of trauma or stress, it can have a large impact on our body, especially your thyroid function, adrenal health, and metabolism. This response goes back to our early ancestors and the need for stress responses that change the way we metabolize food. Factors such as insulin, cortisol, and inflammation can all play a role in how your body is functioning. Dr. Alan Christianson understands this process and helps his patients get out of the yoyo diet cycle. If you are struggling with your weight, are a constant dieter with no results or have recently gained some pounds after trauma, Dr. Christianson is here to explain how the diet industry betrays us and what you can do to reset your metabolism and get your body back to functioning correctly. Dr. Christianson is here to help us understand what adrenal fatigue really is, what you should be asking your doctor to test for in your thyroid and liver, and how to get out of your 'wired and tired' pattern. By keeping your microbiome stable you can withstand stress better and be more resilient. Dr. Christianson is here to provide steps on how to reset your metabolism and get your health back together with your liver and cortisol. Are you ready to take steps towards deep healing your internal functioning after a betrayal? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode Why your stress response is often focused in your gut and belly What you should be eating to support your liver functioning Signs that let you know you are on the right path with your internal health How betrayal and trauma can increase your body's stressor signals Habits you can implement on a day to day basis for your health Quotes "I don't know if this has been a deliberate act in any part of the [diet] industry, but overall, the industry does just set people up to fail" (6:41) "In general a good way to gauge if weight loss is working is to know how much of it is really waist lost" (10:43) "You want to dedicate some time towards the project of really changing how your system works" (21:49) "It's never welcome and no one ever wants to build character through trauma and through stress and betrayal. But at the end of the day when we do come back, we are stronger" (24:53) Links The Metabolism Reset Diet by Dr. Alan Christianson Dr. Christianson Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

My research involved those struggling to heal from the trauma of betrayal. At the beginning of my participants' healing journey, their perception of success may have involved simply getting out of bed and facing their day. Yet, as they healed, their perception of success shifted to feeling safe, secure, regaining their health, finding the gift left in the wake of their trauma, and rebuilding their life. As the perceptions of my study participants changed as they moved through their experience, my perception of success has changed as well. This experience has led to an entirely different perception of success and one that I believe is needed so desperately today. What is success? The newest car, the biggest house, the prettiest face or the most perfectly behaved children as determined by societal standards? If so, who are we when those external measures fade over time? If your measure of success is achieved through the accolades others bestow upon you-who are you when you no longer receive those accolades? If your measure of success is judged by what you collect, what happens when you stop collecting? If success is achieved at the expense of family, integrity, connection, meaning or contribution, can it really be considered a success? Who are you if you come in last place if you don't raise your hand if you take a longer route or travel a different path? What became so apparent during this journey was how fleeting and empty external measures of success can be, especially when we understand that we're feeding the unrelenting needs of the ego versus nourishing ourselves fully with our soul's calling for deep, rich and meaningful experiences. How has this created a new definition of success? Here's what I now see so clearly. When you can enjoy the quiet of your own company, that's success When you can easily open your heart for someone in need, that's success When you can think about those you love as a smile curls your lips and a warmth envelops your heart, that's success When you can surrender and grow comfortable with the discomfort of the unknown, that's success. When you think of giving up, giving in and going back to what was old and familiar…then refuse and remain on your journey forward, that's success. Success is facing your fears, slaying your dragons, healing your wounds and loving yourself. Success is thanking your ego for trying to protect you as you choose to trust the voice of your highest self instead. Success is knowing that even if you have nothing, you have everything you need to create a life that's rich, fulfilling and beautiful. Success is the outpouring of love from within, regardless of what external signs of validation you receive. Success is using your biggest obstacles as the catalysts to reveal your greatest gifts. Success is knowing that you are worthy, deserving and lovable…simply because you exist. Hellen Keller said: "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Here's my wish for you: May you use your skills and insights to drive humanity forward May your new insights light a path to the trail you're now ready to blaze May you reflect with pride on how far you've come, then lovingly allow for your next and most exciting chapter to unfold. May you serve as a role model and mentor, enthusiastically yet humbly sharing your light so that others are inspired to do the same You got this. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Are you sick of living with symptoms like depression, fatigue, hormone imbalance, weight gain, and chronic pain, but don't know how to fix the root cause? Like so many other women, Dr. Anna Cabeca was experiencing this and realized her ability to reset her own hormones and improve her mind and body, and has been passionate about sharing this knowledge with women ever since. When going through a betrayal, our entire bodies are impacted. While you may be living a happy life on the outside, hormones such as cortisol and progesterone are playing a large role in how your body is reacting to your stored trauma and memories. It is only by understanding the role our hormones play in our physical and mental health and finding a balance both internally and externally that your body can once again be at peace. Dr. Anna is here to give some insight into the hormonal chaos a betrayal can cause, how you should be working to nourish your body to improve mental clarity, and finding natural ways to decrease cortisol and increase oxytocin. If you are looking for a sense of peace, wanting to connect with those around you, or hoping to create disciplines and practices that support you, Dr. Anna is here to help guide you. What is the first step you are taking towards making a change? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode Understanding the internal connection between physiology and behavior Discover healthy seeking behaviors to increase your oxytocin naturally How to prioritize and find joy in connection with others again The three animals in the Andean philosophy associated with life's journey Why changing what time you eat dinner could improve your sleep and energy Quotes "For too many of us and for too long, that hormone tends to run amuck and destroy many of our hormonal relationships" (1:44) "How we deal with this transition time, the mental framework we put around it, that helps [your bodies physiology]" (6:25) "It gives us information about how our emotions are affecting our physiology, how our nourishment could be affecting our physiology, and you know sometimes we think we are doing everything right but we aren't seeing an improvement, and little itsy bitsy steps make it" (20:50) "When we are going through a stressful state it is imperative that we really support our bodies natural hormone production in these ways" (21:51) "No matter what you have been through or what you are feeling right now, never give up hope" (25:26) Links Breeze Through Menopause Masterclass The Hormone Fix by Dr. Anna Cabeca Dr. Anna's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

If you've seen the movie "Groundhog Day" Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again. At first, he's baffled, then angry and eventually he starts having a little fun with it as he realizes he can use the day to create whatever type of experience he wants and if it doesn't turn out well, no big deal, he can try again tomorrow. So many of us walk around with "Groundhog Day of the Mind". With this firmly in place, we have the same thoughts which lead to the same emotions, the same behaviors which create the same responses…day after day. What I find so interesting about this is that we struggle to understand why things aren't changing, why we're still stuck with the same habits that are leading us to frustration, illness, and unhappiness. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Did you know that your sense of smell is 100 times more powerful than any other sense, or that your sense of smell is also connected to your sense of survival? All of this can impact how we are triggered by emotional trauma linked to betrayal and can be harnessed to become a wonderful healing tool. Dr. Mariza Snyder is a functional practitioner, author, and hormone expert who is passionate about essential oils and their power to heal and is here to share her wealth of knowledge with us today. Essential oils are a simple and doable strategy to include in your daily routine when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure. Today Dr. Mariza is sharing her favorite essential oils for conquering stress, anxiety, anger, forgiveness, and more. She is also explaining how best to use them for emotional healing, how to ensure you are living your life by your own design versus proving people wrong and why you should be clearing a space for emotional wellbeing. Dr. Mariza is shedding light on the science behind how essential oils affect the neurotransmitters in the brain and how they can provide you with the ability to select the mood you desire. If you have ever been curious about essential oils and don't know where to start, or are looking for something easy that you can implement today to start making a positive impact in your life, Dr. Mariza is the answer you have been looking for. Have you experimented with the wonderful world of essential oils? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode The important role forgiveness plays in the healing transformation Listening to your inner voice instead of living to prove a point Why positive and negative emotional memories can be triggered by smell Top essential oil blends and scents to help with emotions of betrayal How to let go of betrayal and accept forgiveness with the help of essential oils Quotes "It was through a lot of healing and just a lot of self-reflection on what it meant to make me happy, that really steered me in this direction" (3:28) "The big secret to radical self-healing is self-awareness, recognizing what's happening" (7:37) "I felt like I was in my true purpose and true calling for the first time in my life like I finally heard what I was really meant to do in this world" (14:44) "Everyone needs a little extra courage, a little liquid courage, a little essential oil courage" (28:08) "[Essential Oils] really kind of dispel some of those feelings that we women tend to hold onto, that don't allow us to step into our power" (31:44) Links Purchase The Essential Oil Hormone Solution Here Essentially You Podcast Dr. Mariza's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

January 1st brings with it more than just a date change. Very often as we ring in the New Year, we ring in a desire for newness- a hope to start fresh, to reach goals where we might have fallen short, to right wrongs, and to give ourselves another shot at achieving what we envision for our lives. Our goals are often pretty noble: Physically- Most people want to be a healthier and stronger version of themselves. Gym and weight loss memberships soar. Workout areas are packed with hopeful, eager participants who have no doubt that they'll achieve their goal in the next couple of months, whether realistic or not. Mentally- We are prepared. It's okay that last year didn't turn out as planned. We have a fresh new slate upon which to write a whole new script. Our goals are fueled with the belief that anything is possible, and we have a whole brand-new year to achieve what we were not able to in the past. Emotionally- New beginnings bring us hope. There's some inherent excitement at being able to start over. We purchase new calendars, new appointment books, and new journals. This, this is the year we are going to get grounded, centered and secure. Our new selves will allow us to enjoy relationships at a deeper, more authentic, and fulfilling level. Dating sites enjoy an increased flurry of activity as our new-found optimism fuels an expectation and anticipation that the partner who has eluded us in the past will be found. Spiritually- Time for meditation, yoga, and connecting with Spirit has made it onto our calendars. Mantras are developed, affirmations are said, spiritual practices are established. Since 600 BC we have used this time, culturally symbolized with the Baby New Year, to believe that we can create the life we've always wanted…even if we haven't been able to create it until now. Then…February hits. Slowly but surely, the gyms are less crowded. The concept of writing a new script has somehow fallen into the recesses of our minds. The calendar and appointment books are now filled with the same things we fill them with every year. The beautiful clean pages are filled with cross-outs, penciled in responsibilities and last-minute additions. Meditation time has been replaced with hitting the snooze button and our greatest mantra becomes, "Oh, God" or one that helps us release frustration and exasperation. What happens between January and February 1stand why does it happen to so many of us- even with such noble of goals? The truth is that it's impossible to create a new reality or a new life when the same old you shows up. As much as you would truly like or want to change the conditions of your life, it's impossible if nothing has changed within you- the co-creator. Dr. Joe Dispenza, world-renowned scientist, teacher, lecturer, and author, explains this beautifully when he explains how if you bring all of your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions of the past into the present, you can only recreate what you have always known. We see this so often in relationships. Someone wants a loving, healthy, and fulfilling relationship to make them happy. They may even truly believe that they are worthy and deserving of a great relationship but the truth is that if they are not happy, healthy and whole within themselves, they're not going to find it outside of themselves- regardless of the nature of the relationship. That is one of the many reasons I love the work that I do with betrayal. Very few people have never been betrayed, and betrayal doesn't always leave an indelible mark on our hearts. For the purpose of my study, I defined betrayal as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule by someone who has put his/her needs before your own and your wellbeing. Understandably, what I found in my study was that the deeper the relationship, the more dependent you were on the betrayer, the greater the wound of betrayal. If you are betrayed by an acquaintance, it won't have the same effect as being betrayed by a best friend, partner, or spouse. I also learned that the wounds of betrayal can run so deep, that people can stay "stuck" for months, years, or even a lifetime. So think about it, how do you show up for happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships when you aren't showing up that way? Betrayal can leave us feeling sick, stuck, small, vulnerable and struggling with what I've identified to be Post Betrayal Syndrome™. In addition, to being able to recognize the symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome, I have also developed a tried and true process that will move you from Betrayal to Breakthrough so that you can be your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual best. So much so that I even created the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Instituteto help people heal from betrayal. As much as we would love to simply wave a magic wand and create the life of our dreams, it doesn't work that way. The New Year is a beautiful time to start fresh, and the hope and enthusiasm it brings is inspiring and challenging. When working to achieve those new

Anna Miranda is an intuitive coach who has dedicated her life to the study of metaphysics and utilizing many forms of intuitive arts to spiritually coach those looking to discover their true potential. Aside from her resume, Anna was pivotal in my betrayal journey and helped me realize the true purpose of my betrayal. Today, Anna is here to rediscover my healing journey, and share her wealth of knowledge with you. If you have ever been curious about creating soul contracts with yourself, partner and family, how to gain absolute faith and trust the universe, or get a closer look into how I dealt with my betrayal, this episode is for you. Anna is an advocate for believing in yourself, listening to your soul to tell you what to do next, and getting outside of the victim mentality. By letting go of the shame and embarrassment that goes along with sharing your betrayal, you can stop hiding and embrace and trust all aspects of 'what is'. While vulnerability may be scary, it is the only way to fully unlock your true potential and ability for love. It is time to rediscover your vibrant self, and Anna is here to help. Are you truly open to vulnerability? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode Learn how to trust in your intuition again Realizing your betrayal as a gift to unlocking your true self Why sometimes you have to lose what that means the most to make a change How to 'find the gold in the trauma' Becoming truly selfless and vulnerable through soul contracts Quotes "I remember thinking explicitly, I don't trust certainly him, I don't trust myself, at least let me trust in the universe. And Anna seemed to have this direct line" (3:04) - Debi "My only job is to help you tap into what you already are, to the essence of your being. That we tend to forget when we are in trauma" (4:00) - Anna "In soul contracts, we don't see obstacle or pain as a bad thing, we actually see it as a grand opportunity that your soul set forth way before it was even incarnated in this lifetime" (8:22) - Anna "It wasn't enough for me to heal personally. The injustice of it was so gigantic for me, that I said if I can heal from this I will have to do my best to heal as many people as I can" (24:55) - Debi "True authenticity has to come from a place of vulnerability" (33:31) - Anna Links Anna Miranda's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

A crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma can blindside us. It can take the wind out of our sails, stop us in our tracks, and leave life as we know it changed forever. It can wreak havoc on us physically, mentally and emotionally as we do our best to recover from the shock from what we never saw (or weren't willing to see) coming down the road. While these types of life-altering experiences can shake us to the core, have you ever considered the idea that they may possibly be the perfect catalyst for change or even…a gift? For many of us, our lives don't change unless they have to. We plod along going about our business and rarely stop to consider how we've been living. Many go through life almost sleepwalking; numbly and mindlessly getting through each day. We may go years in an unfulfilling job, with mediocre relationships, loveless marriages, poor health, low energy, and little joy. We may never have had the confidence we needed to pursue a unique skill that may have led us to discover our greatest passion and purpose. We may have spent our adult lives being too afraid to pursue an exciting opportunity or travel on an unfamiliar path that could have led to something spectacular. We may have put our lives on hold as we wait for the perfect time, season, reason or person to inspire us to take a bold step or make a big move. For some of us, we may have been so caught up in the details of our day that we were unable to see more than getting through our daily "to-do" lists. We do this day after day after day after day…until something wakes us up and somehow inspires us to take a different approach and begin the process of making a much-needed change. What is that something? Often it's a crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma. We often look at a crisis as a huge and negative disruption in our lives, one that throws us and we wonder if we'll ever recover from it. But you've heard the saying "as one door closes, another door opens." Well, that door probably closed because of a crisis, tragedy, illness, trauma or, maybe even just a major disappointment. It could have closed because that relationship finally ended, that diagnosis was just given, that business just took a turn, you had to make that major decision, or you got that phone call you hoped would never come. In either case, because one door closed, a new door was revealed. A door you may never have seen had that first door not closed. A new door, ready for you to open; leading to a very new, very different and possibly very welcomed chapter in your life. Why? Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Even if it looks like you have it all from the outside, what is happening inside your body can often not match up. If you are feeling trapped or stuck by societies constraints of what you 'should do' and are looking for a way to connect back to your inner self, Lucinda Bakken White is here to help. After leaving a dream job at IBM and sinking into a deep suicidal depression, Lucinda realized that she was denying her own authentic self in order to conform to what society told her to do. After embracing her anger and finding the motivation to become her true self, Lucinda dedicated herself to helping other women rediscover their passions. Lucinda believes that when you connect with your authentic wildness there is a natural energy that enlivens you from the inside out, and she is sharing how to get in touch with that version of yourself today. It might be scary to deny what you have been taught, but questioning what you know and coming up with a new belief can be powerful, not frightening. If you are having a crisis and feeling trapped, Lucinda is a kind voice of hope to help you get your life back to balanced. By checking your energy and tapping into who you truly are, you can live the life you have always dreamed of. Do you struggle with the pressures created by society? Let us know where you are at in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode Why you may be betraying your authentic self without knowing it How looking at anger as a motivator can help get you moving Discovering your childlike authentic self and embracing your inner wildness Creating instead of focusing on the problem and getting out of your routine Getting in touch with your animal symbol to better understand yourself Quotes "We want to feel loveable and fit in. So we end up conforming to other peoples rules. The rules of the society, our culture, our family. And we deny our authenticity on the inside" (3:57) "I always come full circle with tragedy and obstacles in my life as 'oh this lead me here and without this happening, I wouldn't have gotten here and I learned so much and it is really not about the other, it is about me'." (10:21) "I always look at everything now as an immersion. I don't know it unless I am immersed in it. (16:05) "Wild just implies movement, and the only thing constant in nature is change. So we are meant to be constantly moving on that wheel" (20:43) "Our authentic self actually has a gift that we are meant to share with the world to be a better place, and that gives our life a higher purpose and deeper meaning (23:04) Links Confessions of a Bone Woman by Lucinda Bakken White Lucinda's Inner Wildness Guide Website Lucinda's Weekly Blog Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

When we think of trauma, we often think of tragic accidents, natural disasters, the death of a loved one or a frightening diagnosis. These situations rock us to our core, shatter us as well as everything we've counted on. Yet, there's another type of trauma that can rock us as well and it happens when those we've trusted and/or were dependent upon betray us. It's called "betrayal trauma." For example, a child experiences sexual abuse from a relative, your partner steals the company funds, your spouse has an affair, your best friend lied to you. These traumas may range in severity but regardless, they all hurt because these betrayals destroy our trust. They shift our perspective, change how we view others and the world and leave us questioning our relationships and ourselves. How can you cope with betrayal? Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Often we define ourselves by our relationships, so when they crumble, we are left unsure how to rebuild everything around us. Suzanne Borelli experienced her own marital trauma and has worked every day to put aside her negative self-esteem to turn around her life for the better. Now in the best state of her life, Suzanne was a member of my 'Fab 14' Ph.D. study, and her contributions helped unveil discoveries around how women deal with betrayal. Today Suzanne is opening up about how she picked up the pieces, why you should make sure to put yourself on the list, and the importance of self-awareness, plus so much more. Our betrayal does not define who we are or our future, and Suzanne is all about taking micro steps towards creating a better situation for yourself. Through her experience, Suzanne has become passionate about helping other women process their own grief and come out swinging on the other side. An advocate for prioritizing self-care, focusing on being thankful and taking note of your daily actions to improve yourself, Suzanne is a bright light and inspiring example. Have you experienced a betrayal similar to Suzanne's? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode The three discoveries made during the 'Fab 14' study Creating a new set of your own rules after betrayal The difference between a post-betrayal transformation and post-betrayal syndrome Why your biggest crisis can reveal your greatest gift Doing something for yourself every single day to make you feel better Quotes "If I could be of service and if I could help other women with the same struggle, I really wanted to be a part of that" (2:58) "I realized that the pain of staying where I was stuck, that pain was much stronger than any of the pain of trying to experience something new" (8:43) "I feel like my loved ones get a better version of me if I have self-care every day" (14:42) "I was very mindful of okay, this has happened, how can I conquer this or how can I work with this?" (20:43) "Part of this experience has rebirthed me or woken me up and I just feel really happy and lucky" (24:37) Links Feeling Fantastic Today Feeling Fantastic Today on Facebook | Email Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

So things didn't go as planned. In fact, you may be looking at what seems like a colossal failure. It can be so challenging to pick ourselves up after falling down (repeatedly) and being someone known to "run enthusiastically in the wrong direction" I feel your frustration. Sure it's easy to give up and give in but here are 7 steps I've found really helpful to get back up again. Acknowledge it: Trying to pretend like it didn't happen may seem like a worthy goal but it's a recipe for prolonged pain. Here's where the saying "what we resist, persists" comes in really handy. By facing it, acknowledging it and looking at it squarely, you're able to see it clearly. Only when we can see things clearly are we able to learn and grow from what we've seen. Ruminate don't marinate: The process of rumination is when we go over an experience in order to make sense out of the situation. This can be really helpful to a degree. Once we've made sense out of it, it's important to move to the next step before we start marinating in it. Ruminate for too long and it becomes a very comfortable and familiar space and that's not where you want to stay. Use the information to see why something happened, possibly see what areas need to change for next time, but get out of that space before it's too cozy to leave. Learn from it: An experience is useless unless we learn the lesson it left in its wake. Did you learn you needed more support, more time, more direction or different resources? Do you see that the timing was off, your boundaries weren't specific enough or there was a challenge with communication? Here's where we're usually really hard on ourselves but try to approach this by speaking with yourself how you'd speak with a friend. I'm sure you wouldn't berate your friend, telling him/her how dumb their idea was and why they deserved to have it fail, so don't do that to yourself. Love, compassion, and patience are what's needed for this phase. Try a different approach: A willingness to change and doing something different is the only way to bring about a different result. It could be a different approach, a different method, a different level of support or even a different level of thinking. Changing how you think/act/react will ensure a different result next time. New rules: So you've looked squarely at your experience, learned from it, and know what you need to do differently next time. Now it's time to create some new rules if not for others, for yourself. What do you insist upon this time? What's a deal breaker and what needs to be in place before you invest your time, money, effort and energy again? Do you need to know your idea is divinely inspired, more strategically coordinated or better timed? Get those rules set so you're clear. It'll also give you more confidence when you try again. Forgive: Resentment is one of the most physically and emotionally destructive emotions we can have. It suppresses your immune system, creates accelerated aging and wreaks havoc on your body and mind. Whether that means forgiving yourself or forgiving the person who hurt you or let you down, forgiving and letting go of that resentment helps you let go of the pain and clear the space for a new beginning. Trust the process: I know it can seem like nothing ever goes your way and you're destined to spend a lifetime trying to get it right but the reality is, the universe is conspiring in your favor. Believe that, trust the process and watch it eventually unfold. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

There is a reason you are having physical, emotional or mental pain that you might not understand. Sarah Weiss has been trained by spiritual masters from many traditions and uses her skills and a medical intuitive to bridge the gap between symptoms and relief. After 45 years of committed learning about awakening high-frequency awareness, subtle energy perception, and self-empowerment, Sarah is empowering others to awaken their own healing capabilities through healing. Today we are diving right into how our bodies are connected to greater things happening around us, and why it might be playing a big role in your overall health. Sarah is sharing the power of the collective, how to use your body to take painful memories and turn it into positive energy, plus so much more. The more we tune into our intuition and the subtle energy of our beings, the better we are able to connect to our inner truth compass and live in a safer state. Sarah is walking us through what it takes to connect back to your truth and work to clean out your system every day. A unique and interesting perspective, Sarah is sharing her wealth of knowledge with us on this episode. Does Sarah's description of an Empath relate to you? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode Why your body may be responding to threats that you forgot existed Tuning into the flow of positive energy in your system Taking on other peoples emotions as an Empath and how to protect yourself Why some of us are more susceptible to other peoples energy than others How betrayal can affect your mind, emotions and especially your body Quotes "Betrayal is something that usually your body knows about, your intuition knows about it, long before your mind knows about it" (3:33) "Tuning in to your body becoming more embodies actually helps you feel safer than if you dissociate" (13:07) "I love to think of a loving Mother Earth taking in that energy through her heart and loving me back with beautiful energy" (25:10) "Betrayal is in the water we drink in the air we breathe, and so a lot of it is not personal, it is ignorance. It's real ignorance." (31:40) Links SpiritHeal Online Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Let's face it, change is hard and within change is the inherent fear factor- leaving what we have known and are comfortable with and not knowing what the future will bring. Of course, the more comfortable and content we are with our situation, the more difficult it is to make the adjustment. Yet even knowing that change in life is inevitable, it very often still fills us with a sense of grief. Losing a friend, job, or opportunity understandably fills us with tremendous sadness, as a break-up, betrayal, or disappointment can, but even seemingly happy occasions can be just as traumatic. Especially if they are situations that force us to move from one stage life to another. Graduating from high school or college, leaving a job or moving to a new location, birthdays, weddings and retirement can fill us with distress. Leaving what we've known, are used to, and are comfortable with, whether good or bad, can lead us to that overwhelming sense of loss and/or anxiety. The crux of the anxiety associated with change comes from the fact that we feel that we are losing something. At times, we may even feel that we have no control. Shifting that paradigm will go a long way to making the process smoother and less painful and it really isn't as hard as you may think. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Emerald Peaceful GreenForest is a wonderful example of someone who can continually find hope, healing, and compassion in whatever life throws at her, and comes back stronger every time. The 'Empress of Encouragement', Emerald is a premier and trusted advisor to many of the worlds leading influencers in the personal and professional development industry. Today Emerald is sharing some interesting perspectives and ways to heal from a betrayal that you may not have tried before. Along with her emotionally unstable childhood, struggle through her 3-year-old son's sexual abuse, and abusive relationships, Emerald has continued to keep her faith and heal her relationship with herself. On this episode Emerald is sharing her journey, what inspires her to keep going, and so much more. If you are feeling confused as a leader in your current reality, but have a strong calling and big vision, Emerald is an inspiring and enlighted voice of clarity in the sea of confusion. We are opening up to the vastness of reality and healing your trauma one step at a time through specific processes and intentions. How does your story relate to Emerald's? Let us know in the comments on the episode page. In This Episode Cultural conditioning and creating a model of self-care How sound can release and heal trauma on a molecular level Different modalities of healing and ways to start from the inside out Letting go of what once was to make room for what can be Opening up to the vastness of reality and starting to use your intention Quotes "What's really interesting about therapy is it allows you to distinguish what's going on, but it doesn't necessarily help you to transcend it." (8:40) "A lot of the shifts that happened in my life came as a result of what I am going to call divine intervention." (15:54) "Gratitude is the currency of the universe, and currency is gratitude in action" (30:20) Links Instant Clarity Meditation Gift Men on Purpose Podcast Emerald GreenForest Website Lil' Iguana Children's Safety Foundation Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

If you stop to think about it, most of the needs we are trying to get our partner to fill are the same needs that went unmet when we were children. Joyce Schafers went through her own trauma and betrayal and recognized this failing pattern, so she created a model to help other couples thrive. A best-selling author, public speaker, and life skills coach specializing in relationship counseling, Joyce has a keen ability to expose the root issues that cause relationships to fail and heal them before they do. Joyce is sharing with us her theory of the cycle of emotional pain, what happens when we are in it, and how we can get out of it. She is discussing the unconscious needs we try and fill externally, why you need to do the work to recognize and acknowledge your wounds, and managing your triggers in order to fill your own cup. Using her own experiences as a guiding light, Joyce is an advocate for awareness and using the power of choice to create the life you deserve. It is time to stop putting pressure on your partner to fill the unmet needs of your childhood and break the cycle to stop your emotional pain. Are you ready to accept yourself, flaws and all? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode Defining trauma, betrayal and the cycle of emotional pain Creating the awareness and addressing your emotional needs Why you should view your triggers as opportunities to heal your trauma Strategies to break your cycle of emotional pain How unhealed traumas from childhood show up in adult needs Quotes "The trauma when it is not addressed creates this emotional need which then creates this desire to get the emotional need met externally" (2:40) "When we're triggered, my approach is to help that person become aware of what is actually going on, and help them debunk the story" (8:39) "When you can really like plug your own details into the cycle of emotional pain, understand exactly how it is impacting you, it is so incredibly powerful." (15:57) "The common denominator here is me. So how our my broken bits, how is my trauma and emotional pain creating this cycle?" (22:14) "If we created our story, that's a good thing because we can create a new one. And you can create a new one by not believing the stuff we have believed in the past." (29:20) Links Be one of the first 2 people to contact Joyce via her website & you will win one of her self study courses. Joyce's Website Contact Joyce on Facebook | Twitter Self-Study Course Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

If you've ever baked a cake, you know that if you put in fresh, delicious ingredients in the appropriate amounts at the appropriate time, you often create something delicious. You also know that while many tasty ingredients may be available to you and within easy reach, like mustard, pepper, garlic or vinegar, they simply don't belong in your cake so you purposely and consciously choose to leave them out. If you were to add those ingredients to your mix, you wouldn't expect a positive result. It's all very logical and rational when it comes to baking, isn't it? So here's a question. If you desire to create a "delicious" life, why is it that you'd add the ingredients that don't work and often leave out the ingredients that would make life…delicious? So many areas of life impact our "cake" from the food we eat to the people we spend our time with, to the thoughts we think. Here are a few "ingredients" that impact our recipes… What you eat. If your diet is made up of fast food, processed foods, and foods high in sugar, salt and fat, you can't really be surprised if your body doesn't look or feel its best, can you? Do you have enough liquid to make the batter moist and bake to perfection? What are you adding to your recipe – and will it produce the delicious end result you want? What you think. If you think you're unlovable, unworthy or incapable, can you really be surprised if these thoughts encourage you to act or carry yourself a certain way? Maybe they'll prevent you from feeling deserving of a loving relationship, cause you to feel unworthy of something fabulous or incapable of achieving a goal or dream. If negative thoughts are continuously playing in your mind, take a look at how they're showing themselves within your life and how they are contributing to your "cake." What you feel. If you feel overweight, unattractive or ill-equipped in some way, take a look at the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, what you do (or don't do) and the relationships you have. Notice how these feelings show themselves in the clothes you choose, the opportunities you avoid and what you're willing to tolerate in a coworker, friend or partner. Anger, doubt, frustration, revenge and other negative feelings are the equivalents of adding rotten eggs and sour milk to your "cake." What you hear. If you're listening to people who are negative, critical, pessimistic and judgmental, can you be surprised when you feel deflated, depleted and uninspired? Of course, you're trying to be a good friend, you may even be the "go to person" when someone wants to gossip, needs to vent or complain. Begin to notice how you feel once this negativity is dumped on you and see how it's holding you back from creating a scrumptious result. What you see. If you're reading negative news or being "entertained" by shows filled with misery, pain, violence or vulgarity, are you surprised if that has an impact on you? The TV news is full of sensationalism and negativity. Sure you may be up to date on the latest tragedies and misfortunes but how do these visuals resonate with you? Do they make you feel calm, serene and comfortable or nervous, vulnerable and afraid? Consider how these ingredients are impacting your mix. What you do. If you're doing little more than chores or tasks when you're home and then fill your day with running errands or going to a boring and unfulfilling job, can you be surprised if you're not excited about your life? If your life is crammed with tasks leaving no room for self-care, healthy eating, exercise, downtime, fulfillment, and fun, can you see how this may be showing itself in how you look, feel and live? Can you see how it's creating an undesirable "cake?" What you believe. Your belief system is created by the repetition of an idea that you trust as the truth. Perhaps you were told, "you can be, do or have anything" and you've repeated this into a belief. Or perhaps you were told that you were not meant to be wealthy, happy, healthy or carefree. You may have heard that "life is a struggle" or that "everyone in our family has a fiery temper, is prone to heart disease, and has these big thighs." With repetition, these thoughts become part of your belief system. Can you see how you live with limits when you go into your adult life carrying these beliefs? Take a look to see if you've unintentionally added some harsh ingredients into your "cake." All of these factors contribute to who we are, how we live and the results we produce. With awareness and a desire to change, we can slowly and steadily change whatever area doesn't work well for us anymore. It's time to bake a scrumptious, mouthwatering and flavorful "cake" bursting with ingredients that make it appetizing and appealing. I'm going for a beautiful, decadent, double chocolate, rich, creamy, 7-layer cake. Gluten-free, of course:). You? Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? K

So many of us assume when it comes to eating disorders, but many people can struggle with disordered eating through various stages of their lives. In cases of betrayal or trauma, you can often hold your pain in your stomach, and this can have a negative impact on your own health. After 23 years at her NYC practice, Mindy Gorman-Plutzer has seen her fair share of psychology related eating issues. Today, Mindy is here to help us understand what betrayal in the form of an eating disorder looks like, why we do it and where it stems from, and how we can start to heal our mind, bodies, and spirit. Mindy has created a system of strategies including functional nutrition, practical coaching techniques, result oriented psychology and body-centered practices to help people strengthen their relationship with food. Eating disorders can be influenced by a wide range of factors including genetic makeup, brain chemistry, and blood sugar. It is important to acknowledge your biology and understand the trauma that may be held within your gut in order to heal yourself from the inside out. We can't begin to forgive others until we forgive ourselves, and that starts on a cellular level. By examining your relationship to food, you can gain a deeper understanding of who you are and the story your body tells. It is time to let go of the self-sabotaging habits and start supporting your body to begin healing and empowering yourself. What is your relationship with food like? Do you struggle with disordered eating? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page! In This Episode Common signs and symptoms of disordered eating The biological genetic component that may be affecting your hunger hormones Physical and psychological implications of eating disorders How to gain insight into what is dysfunctional in your body's messages Why food can start off as self-soothing and end up as self-sabotaging Quotes "Wanting to change our weight, manage our bodies, often shows up in the guise of an eating disorder. Because it starts out as a solution to a problem that is believed to be intolerable." (3:03) "The betrayal is about how we disavow ourselves from our universally given right to thrive." (6:06) "Food is going to be the component that is acted out with. So for somebody who has suffered trauma, they are going to choose to check out of their bodies." (13:28) "When we can develop tools and strategies to manage that split off part of ourselves, sustainable recovery begins, and that is when we feel empowered." (18:29) "Change is about doing, transformation is about being. And I believe that no matter what we are dealing with in our lives, that is painful and feels like a betrayal, we can come home to ourselves." (26:53) Links The Freedom Promise website The Freedom Promise Book Contact Mindy at [email protected] - Don't forget the subject line 'End the Betrayal' Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

A tale as old as business itself, Dr. Felice Gersh was blindsided by her patient turned business partner and best friend when she betrayed her to start a competing practice. Today Felice is sharing how she was able to pick up the pieces, manage the emotions of being betrayed, and grow forward. Felice is sharing her experience in both personal and professional betrayal, how it impacted both her family and her business, and how this helped her focus on what's important in life. By doing the best you can to keep looking ahead and not stressing over the impossible battles, Felice believes that everyone can adapt, adjust and move on. A beautiful message of resilience and rebuilding, today's episode is all about accepting that betrayal is always a possibility in a relationship, and not letting it stop you anyways. Have you felt the sting of betrayal? How did you overcome it? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page! In This Episode What to do when you feel silenced by your betrayer Not letting betrayal slow you down and leading by example Keeping things above board for the sake of business civility Attempt to dissolve rumors while still looking reputable Why you should try and have fewer assumptions Quotes "I was in complete fantasyland thinking everything was great when obviously for quite some time she was strategizing and planning" (2:31) "It was a blend of every negative emotion that you can think of is what I went through experiencing. And it was a heartbreak." (5:41) "My motto was 'you just have to keep going', and you can't just sit and stew in your juices, you know. You have to just keep moving forward." (9:16) "I think that going through that made me realize that you know what, if I could sort of deal with this, this was such an attack on so many levels you know personal and professional, that I could withstand most anything." (17:48) "You can't go into relationships with the expectation that they are going to end up badly. I think we need to be brave and we have to just accept that sometimes people will betray us. But if we don't have that relationship that we could lose or be betrayed by, then we will never have any relationships, right?" (20:24) Links Dr. Felice Gersh's website Dr. Felice Gersh on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

In The Unshakable Woman, I offer my interpretation on the idea of death and rebirth, explaining that sometimes things have to come to a full stop, a complete closure, in order for you to move forward and move on. It's like continually repairing everything that goes wrong with a house that was initially built on a shaky foundation. You can repair the cracks, the leaks, the appliances, and the floors. You can repaint, redecorate, and add beautiful landscaping. Yet, even with all that, sometimes you just need to knock it all down and build a stronger house that's built on a rock-solid foundation so that no matter how strong the elements are, the structure remains unshakable. When we're trying to move forward, it's natural that old thoughts, behaviors, habits, triggers, scenarios, reminders, and people keep us tied to the past. So often I'll hear of people moving to a new area for a fresh start, changing jobs or changing partners in their search for a new beginning. It's all well and good if you're changing these things for the right reasons. When you're hoping that a new situation creates a new you, without doing the internal work to help you get there, you're destined to bring the old version of you wherever you go. So, if your intention is to shed the old and embrace the new, how can you do it? It could be a daily practice that helps shed the old thinking to embrace the new, or a ceremonial type of activity to make the change "official," or anything that signifies for you the completion of something that you're moving on from. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

After a betrayal in her own life lead her to find her passion, Dr. Melissa Kalt decided to leave her practice as a physician and strike out on her own to spread her knowledge about the power of integrated medicine. Today Melissa is sharing some amazing lessons in staying in integrity and honoring your truth in order to be true to who you are. Learn about everything from colorpuncture to EMDR and how you can free yourself of your physical and mental symptoms. Melissa is sharing how she first noticed her 'calm before the storm' theory, and why you should embrace the death of your old self in order for a new you to emerge, plus so much more. Melissa was able to take her trauma on a journey of exploring alternative medicine, transformative coaching and acknowledging betrayal to lead to the beautiful place she is in now. If you are ready to put your trauma behind you and begin to heal, this episode is for you. What do you think about Melissa's journey and triumphant rebirth? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode How to rebuild your life and find motivation in trauma Adrenal fatigue, dysfunction and why holistic medicine can help What is colorpuncture and how it can relieve everything from anxiety to a cold Relieving physical symptoms of stress by healing your emotional wounds Making the choice between staying in a victim mindset or choosing empowerment Quotes "I think that it is really important to bring awareness when we are [acting like the calm before the storm] because that's the first key point where we have an opportunity to change the course of sort of how things play out." (3:05) "I was so amazed by this seven-year-old girl standing in my bedroom, who was willing to stand in her truth, she was amazing. She was like my hero, my role model. Because she was better at it at seven than I was at forty." (7:10) "I had really established this pattern of ignoring myself, ignoring my body. But when I started doing these treatments, it was a really great way for me to attune to my body, what am I feeling right now?" (16:31) "The breakdown, whether that's from betrayal or otherwise, is necessary for a breakthrough. And I think often times it brings us closer to our 'why', our calling, our destiny, what we are supposed to be here doing." (23:08) "Taking some time to really be clear and settle into their own body, and really asking what it is they need, gives them a great space to then reach out for support" (26:02) Links Melissa's Clarity Guide Melissa's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert who has helped over 4 million people live open-hearted unapologetic lives through her YouTube channel and coaching. A passionate and inspiring leader, Allana is sharing her theories on strength and vulnerability, and giving yourself permission to feel your deepest emotions so that they can help you heal. As women, we often stay in our heads too much, which can lead to jealousy, envy, and going into a situation already picturing the worst case scenario. By processing the pain into a gift, you can see how much you have grown from your challenges, and find equal value in pain and pleasure. When you accomplish this, you are able to live your life in the present and follow your intuitive nature. Learn about Mel Robbin's 5 Second Rule, how to navigate intense emotions, and why you need to go inside to love and accept all parts of yourself equally. For those of us who just don't feel like we have permission to relax into our own worth, base our lives around our accomplishments, Allana is here to give you the breathing space and insight to be as beautiful and resilient as you truly can be. What did you enjoy most about this conversation where we discover that it is okay to find strength in your vulnerability? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode How to see the silver linings in the lessons of betrayal The difference between worth and accomplishments Having your own back and a relationship with yourself One of the biggest blocks to being successful and finding an ideal mate Ways to bring up issues in a relationship in a non-confrontational way Quotes "We do shut our heart. And that's just beautiful, healthy, we are loving ourselves, we are protecting ourselves. But in so doing, we are cutting ourselves off from our own intuition, our instincts. Were cutting ourselves off from the flow of life" (2:24) "Life is not about doing it right, looking good and being happy all the time! Life is about experience. And whether it is through the path of pain, or through the path of bliss, if we keep our heart open, if we open in vulnerability, we return to the same place, love." (5:22) "Of course we have a preference, of course, we'd like to get the job or like the date to go well. But we don't need it to go well in order to be good enough because we have already done all that inner work inside." (11:47) "We all are the same dark and light. We are all everything. So that essence is within you. Say thank you, sister! And go home, put on a song, and start to dance, let that awaken within you. (25:42) "You don't need to accomplish more in order to rest into your worth. Be willing to take those two or three steps inward to really process all the crap you have been through into these beautiful gems, that within you will awaken your true genius, your true essence, your authenticity." (31:33) Links 7 Part Complimentary Training Allana's Website Follow Allana's YouTube Channel Allana Pratt Podcast The 5 Second Rule - Mel Robbins Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Betrayal happens when there's the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule within a relationship. The more we trusted and were dependent upon the person, the bigger the betrayal. We can be betrayed by a family member, partner, friend, co-worker or someone in a position of authority. Which betrayals hurt the most? The ones which involved the greatest amount of our time, trust and heart. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Phaedra Antioco is one of the most sought after pain relief experts who helps high performing people get back to the life they once had before pain. After breaking free from her own pain, and specializing in pain relief for over 20 years, Phaedra created an easy to follow pain relief system to help her clients stand strong once again. Phaedra believes that every physical pain has an emotional root, and when we identify the roots of those pain is when we can truly begin to heal. Focusing on congruency between how you feel inside and how you respond outside, Phaedra's system is all about paying attention to what is not working in your life to make way for better things. Your body is letting you know what is happening mentally and emotionally and when you pay attention to it is when you can uncover, unlock and heal. By asking yourself what isn't working in your life, you can start to release your pain and listen to the things in life that are pleasant. It is time to take the leap and do the things that scare you because on the other side of that fear is everything you want. How does Phaedra's mission resonate with you? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode How something mental and emotional can translate into something physical The trauma vortex and how to shift out of that stress 5 steps to break free from pain Why fear is paralyzing and you need to feel safe to make good choices Orienting yourself to pleasure and rewiring your brain to pleasant things Quotes "I sought various treatment to help me because I don't remember the accident, I don't remember the trauma, but my body does. (3:10) "So we really need to look at how we show up in the world today as adults, who we choose to be in relationships with and how we show up in those relationships really start from our childhood. And we can call that developmental trauma" (8:25) "I guide people to start rewiring their brain out of the pain. Because it's not all that bad, there's always a way" (15:06) "We might only be focused on that struggle and how hard life has been, but we also need to look at how the positives we have had and how our story really does create who we are. So we need to look, explore and then release the past trauma" (21:10) "Anytime an emotion comes up, explore it, really let it out. If its anger, beat the bed, beat the pillow. But the reality is it is coming up for a reason, so just look at it and examine it." (30:09) Links Phaedra's Website 5 Steps To Break Free From Pain Webinar Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Dr. Roberta Shaler is a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker who provides intuitive and personalized care for relationships in crisis. She is on a mission to help people stop tolerating abuse, and has coined the category of 'hijackels'. Dr. Shaler has dedicated herself to helping couples stop making themselves crazy while saving your sanity along the way. A self-described 'life mechanic' who welcomes relationships at all stages, Dr. Shaler prides herself on knowing what you need as a couple, asking couples the hard questions, and understanding the current and future state of your relationship. Dr. Shaler is describing exactly what a 'hijackal' is, including their tendencies for manipulation and exploitation, how to educate, empower and gain new strategies to prepare yourself to leave a hijackal situation, and why we are attracted to this type in the first place. It is important to develop a good sense of self, have non-negotiable boundaries and communicate them in order to stay alert and have healthy relationships. Dr. Shaler is here to give you the secrets to this and so much more. Let us know if you implement any of these strategies into your life in the comments section on the episode page! In This Episode How to know if you have been 'hijackaled' and how to heal Strategies to encourage the other person to communicate Ways to know if you have a relationship with a hijackal The difference between difficult people and relentlessly difficult people Love bombing, hoovering, and the signs to be wise for Quotes "Everybody needs to know it's absolutely normal for two human beings to not agree on everything, and you need some communication and conflict resolution skills, or at least some conflict management skills" (2:42) "It's important to know that going for help is a sign of strength. It's a sign of saying 'I really want this relationship to matter'." (4:36) "You are not in a position to judge, neither is the 'Google Goddess'. So let's not even pretend, But what we can talk about are patterns, traits and cycles" (10:10) "I don't call them victims, I call them unwitting prey. Because hijackals are predators. And so there you are just looking for love and wanting to believe the best in people and going the extra mile. And they are saying oh look there's a hot one, I can control that one." (18:38) "When you find yourself in a relationship like that, and they are being all perfect and lovely on the outside and horrible to you at home, take off those rose-colored glasses and see the red flags." (31:15) Links How to Spot a Hijackal Dr. Rhoberta Shaler Patreon Dr. Roberta Shaler's Products Dr. Rhoberta Shaler's Website For Relationship Help YouTube Channel Emotional Savvy Podcast Save your Sanity Podcast Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Whether it was intentional or unintentional, sometimes we simply screw up. Once you've taken responsibility for your actions and behavior, communicated in a way the person you hurt will understand, were remorseful, empathetic, offered restitution and learned from it, there are still a few more things you can do. Forgiveness takes time along with consistent effort to repair the damage done so have patience. The bigger the screw up the longer it can take because the person you hurt may be reeling from the shock, pain or anguish you caused and has to find new footing as they readjust to what they've just experienced by your actions. This process is now about them as they learn what role they may have played, what changes they need to make to feel valued, safe and secure again. While they're working through it, healing, changing and growing as a result of what they've just been through, now is also the time to work on self-forgiveness. Sure, you may feel guilt and shame for the pain you caused but that doesn't help anyone. About From Betrayal To Breakthrough: The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally. Host, Dr. Debi Silber introduces The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast which will be sharing insights from the best therapists, coaches, healers, thought leaders and everyday people, combined with the findings of a recent Ph.D. study on betrayal to help you move forward and heal...once and for all. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Rae Luskin is a true leader in using creative expression to nurture self-worth, self-healing and social change. For over 20 years she has helped individuals and groups realize their authentic passion and purpose to become effective leaders and confident problem solvers. Today Rae is here to share her story of how she was able to use art and prayer to overcome her childhood trauma and find her way to healing. Rae uses the freedom she finds from scribbling and writing as a means of self-expression while creating clarity and awareness. By fighting for the importance of the art of imagination, Rae is sharing her story of resilience to let people know that they are not alone. Everything from the power of creative visioning to how the colors you choose can affect your mood, this episode is all about exploring how creativity can lead to healing. Have you used the power of creative visioning to create forgiveness or healing? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode How art and service saved Rae's life Opening yourself up to be guided by something larger than yourself Getting to the other side of wanting to commit suicide The sense of freedom that comes from scribbling and being creative Ways you can express yourself creatively without being an artist Quotes "Our purpose in life is to go in and capture those sparks. And when we do, we will create peace on earth again" (2:52) "Always looking towards the outside for the healer, the guru. Yes, you need people to be your partner, but I also needed to look inside and see what was already there. What tools did I already own?" (7:03) "It's a holistic brain exercise when you scribble and then write. And you are bypassing the judgments and you are creating new neuropathways" (10:41) "It gave me a deeper ability to notice what he gave me and separate the act from the person who was mentally ill… It allowed me to deeply go into forgiveness in ways I couldn't imagine. And I couldn't see that until I really started to draw and paint out my feelings." (14:53) "We all have something from each other. Everybody wants to be seen, heard and understood. And if we can witness that, we're giving a gift to ourselves and other people." (21:38) Links The Creative Activist: Make the World Better, One Person, One Action at a Time The Winning Adventure Schedule a Coaching Session with Rae Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Dr. Sam Shay has battled his own health and addiction journey and has come out the other side inspired to help others who struggle with the same issues. An expert on a hodgepodge of situations like childhood betrayal, video game, and sugar addictions, and overcoming high-stress environments, Dr. Sam Shay is here to help you get over your own betrayals too. Everything from moral injury to adrenal fatigue and being a child of divorce is on the table today. If you are looking to increase your resilience with functional medicine so you are not as vulnerable to vices, learn the skills of how to deal with and reverse the cycle, and understand improve your outlook, Dr. Sam Shay has the medicine you are looking for. Get ready for some much-needed inspiration and hope to overcome and heal from your pain and addiction. What are your thoughts about what Dr. Sam Shay shared today? Do you have any burning questions for Part 2? Let us know in the comments! In This Episode PTSD, moral injury and the connection to betrayal How harm, exploitation, and humiliation can be being used against you Why stalking your partner's social media might be a form of hypervigilance Finding gratification in addiction by shielding yourself from the war zone at home How you can tame the BEAST of Addiction Quotes "The topic of betrayal is actually a really close theme, not only in my life personally but also in my clinical life. And as you said, it's also generational" (2:11) "When someone is betrayed in that high stakes situation like a marriage, by the other person that has authority, then there is a loss of trust… And when you lose trust it's not simply left with a vacuum" (6:37) "Moral injury, instead of striking first, hiding or becoming a brilliant liar, is instead attaching oneself to a person or an organization for protection. So people who have experience moral injury like to leech themselves onto organizations or people." (17:08) "It sounds kind of petty, three decades later, but it hurts and we're social creatures and if we feel marginalized socially, we are hardwired genetically as social creatures to feel like that is generally life-threatening." (20:12) "There's more to dealing with betrayal than just looking at stressful thoughts. Because there is a definite impact on the physical body. That's why I created the frameworks that I did, in order to help people whether they are dealing with something like that's chronically unwell or they are dealing with an addiction." (28:05) Links Free "TAME the BEAST®" of addiction worksheet Free 15-minute discovery call to see if you are a right match for Dr. Shay's online functional approach Learn The Work of Byron Katie online Tame The Beast of Addiction10 Pillars of Health & ending fatigue courseGaming Disorder Ebook Dr. Sam Shay's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

You've heard that forgiveness isn't about the person who hurt you and that it's about you. It's true, but that doesn't make it any easier. Forgiveness is just about the hardest thing you can do because it often goes against everything we know to be right, just, and true. If someone did something cruel, hurtful, or selfish and we forgive them, does it mean that by forgiving them we're somehow making what they did okay? Are we setting ourselves up for it to happen again? Does forgiving someone mean we're weak or a pushover? No, no, and no. Forgiveness means we're letting ourselves off the hook, letting go of the tight grip the pain of someone else's actions has on us. It allows us to move forward, put the pain to rest, and finally heal. Links: Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

So many women are looking for a way to feel great about your body, confident about who you are and want to connect with your deepest purpose. Our guest today, Shanna Lee, helps women do exactly that through raising your frequency, finding your alignment and listening to your intuition. The Soul Frequency has helped countless women manage their emotions and get to the root causes to find true inner healing. By surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, accepting love throughout the process of transformation, and getting to know who you really are, you can start living your most authentic life. Shanna encourages a life of open communication, constant growth and willingness to learn. When you live out of alignment from who you really are, it can feel like you are just unplugged. When you can move through your fear and doubt, and reconnect to who you really are, you can start to move forward in life again. Because when you are connected to who you really are, purpose just shows up. Does your soul frequency need a tune up? Let us know what resonated with you about Shanna's message in the comments. In This Episode The role fear can play in holistic health How betrayal can help you be more present with things you could not see clearly before The relationship between doubt and fear and how to manage them Specific tools for communicating your process of discovery to others Why you should be ultra careful about who you spend your time with Quotes "We tend to build our life so that we don't have to bump up against fear, because who wants to? Right? It's not fun. We tend to, I call it 'pretzel ourselves', in all different ways, so that we just don't even know that its there." (5:46) "Your body is a byproduct of what is going on emotionally and internally in your life. And when you can heal that and look at that and bring that up to the place of awareness, your body follows suit." (7:45) "When we can get to that level of programming and see the programming, really positive shifts, and change come from just the byproduct of seeing it for the first time. And then, we can have a choice with it. Because if we can't see something consciously and acknowledge it, we can't have much choice around it." (12:05) "There is an important time in healing and in growth if you go on a transformational journey, where you have to really figure out who you are. Separate from everybody else. And how you think and feel about things." (17:57) "As a society, for the most part of the collective conscious, we have kind of wiped that emotional part of us out or tried too. Except that it is part of who we are. And we can't just ignore it forever or we will get physical manifestations in our body called illness or disease in one way or another" (28:39) Links The Soul Frequency The Soul Frequency Podcast The Soul Frequency Book Follow The Soul Frequency on Instagram Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Femininity and intimacy are something that today's guest, Jen Rozenbaum, knows all about. A boudoir photographer, educator, and recent breast cancer survivor, Jen is an advocate for shedding both your inhibitions and your clothes. Everything from questioning your own femininity, embracing who you are and standing up for your relationship with your own body is on the table today. It doesn't have to take a life crisis to take care of and celebrate yourself, and it is time to spread your power and beauty. This is a real and open talk about finding unique beauty in unexpected places, recognizing your own power, and kicking cancers ass. If you have or are currently dealing with cancer in some aspect of your life, this episode is for you. How does Jen's attitude of embracing femininity and understanding purpose through disease fit into your journey? Let us know in the comments. In This Episode The realities of what a cancer patient is actually thinking and how you can support them What you can learn from being betrayed by your body Fully understanding the fundamental aspects of self-love Knowing what you want and having the courage to ask for it Listening to the universe and trusting your gut above all else Quotes "I have this belief that if you shed your clothes you shed your inhibitions, and the true you really comes to the surface. So that's really what I've dedicated myself to, every woman has a story, I just take a picture of it." (2:31) "As much as I am helping other women and kicking their butts, they are also helping heal me and kick my butt into, you know, living the most full life I can live." (4:09) "Really being in tune with what makes you happy, what you want in life, what you will tolerate and boundaries, and when you stand up for those things, the love for yourself grows exponentially. And you become powerful enough to then go after what you want to do in your life." (13:51) "It is still a process, and I think that it is very difficult for women to be honest with each other about those processes that we are going through throughout life, and I would love to see more of that honesty and connection." (20:23) "I also try to stand in the moment and say I need to deal with this now, I need to feel the pain and the agony and the sadness because if I don't it will come back to get me at some point. And I am not ready to sacrifice any more time of my life for that." (27:59) Links Jen's Website Shamelessly Feminine Website Follow Jen on Instagram | YouTube Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Recently, I did a Ph.D. study focusing on how women experience betrayal—what holds them back and what helps them heal. During that study, three very exciting groundbreaking discoveries were made: The first: healing from betrayal is vastly different from healing from other types of life crises (such as the death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, etc.). The second: there's a collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms so common to betrayal that it's become known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. The third: while someone can stay stuck for years, decades, or even a lifetime following a betrayal, if we're going to fully heal we will go through five predictable and proven stages that take us from betrayal to transformation—and to a newly termed state called Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) ® We'll be talking about those 5 stages and so much more on the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast, stay tuned! About From Betrayal To Breakthrough: The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally. Host, Dr. Debi Silber introduces The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast which will be sharing insights from the best therapists, coaches, healers, thought leaders and everyday people, combined with the findings of a recent Ph.D. study on betrayal to help you move forward and heal...once and for all. Links: Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Do you feel as though you have conquered many aspects in your life, but finding love is one that has evaded you? Riana Milne knows this feeling and is here to share the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to relationships, dating, and trauma. Many of us have unconscious emotional wounds that we carry with us into our adult life and can be the reason why we can't seem to figure out why we can't find love. By starting the path to understanding you can begin to make internal changes that can have a radical effect on you and your partner's happiness. Once you become mindful and conscious of your decisions, the healing of the brain and the body can begin again. It is time to uncover your past trauma patterns and start working towards the healing process. What kind of trauma have you had to overcome in your life? How has it affected your ability to find a partner? Let us know where you are on this journey in the comments section on the episode page! In This Episode How childhood relationship trauma impacts your adult life relationships 10 adverse childhood events that sabotage future love The many characteristics of childhood trauma Figuring out where your adult actions and behaviors are rooted Understanding your original wounds and communicating through it with your partner Quotes "I didn't know about this stuff. Once I found it I was like 'oh my gosh, the floodgates are opening'. And that's why I put my programs together, for people who have gone through this. It's like 'okay I got it, now what do I do with it?'" (3:46) "Depression can come out as anger, emotionally checking out, or just extreme fatigue. So if you grow up with a parent with those kind of issues, which they often got from their parents because it is a generational thing, then the person of high anxiety is always someone from childhood trauma." (12:04) "Everyone comes to me with their own different puzzle you know, depending on what their traumas were and then how we have to help heal them." (14:03) "There are ways to find emotionally healthy, involved and conscious partners. And this is the other technique I teach of, 'where are they? How do you find them? And how do you stay away from buying into the rules that are ridiculous.'" (23:27) Links Lessons in Life and Love Podcast Free Life and Love Transformation Discovery Session Free Have the Love You Deserve EBook Riana's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Dr. Sidney Cohen has 35 years of experience helping couples work through betrayals. Whether it is rebuilding or moving on, Dr. Sidney has seen it all when it comes to ways that both the betrayer and the betrayed can act. Today he is sharing his wealth of knowledge around the significant variables that can play a role in betrayal and healing. By measuring the tolerableness of a betrayal, focusing on healing one day at a time and making a healing commitment to yourself, It is possible to get your pain to a more manageable level so that you can begin to heal. Learn why you can't rush forgiveness, why self-comfort is important to mental health and what to do when you have no closure, plus more. It is important to remember the courage and resilience that we all have inside of us. With the right tools, resources and a plan, you can bounce back from this betrayal and find healing and change. Let us know your thoughts about Dr. Sidney's discussion in the comments section on the episode page! In This Episode Common examples of betrayal Dr. Sidney comes across on a regular basis Essential things the betrayer needs to do in order to create healing Why the betrayed has the right to decide the length of time healing takes Getting past shame and embarrassment to find self-comfort The role psychotherapy can play in cases of betrayal Quotes "The definition that I use is any significant feeling of let down by someone or something important to you, based on what you believed you had the right to believe they would never do to you." (1:42) "If the betrayal feels tolerable to the person that has been betrayed, then I get a sense that there is room for healing." (7:33) "If the betrayer really means business about doing what they cant to create the healing that can allow the betrayed person to feel that they really can open up their hearts again, that's what it behooves the betrayer to do." (13:41) "Needs are human, and we are all human. However, in the face of still feeling the pain and the psychological torment of being betrayed, to give into those needs, while its human, it can also be something that the betrayed come to regret." (22:24) "As much as anything that the betrayed can gain out of therapy and the rest of the support they gain is a realization that they are still very much worthwhile, very much still loveable" (31:45) Links Your Self Sabotaging Inner Bully Follow Dr. Sidney and watch the Dr. Sid Show on Facebook Dr. Sidney's Website Check out the full show notes for this episode Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Betrayal is defined as: "A violation of a person's trust or confidence." I define it as the deliberate breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule within a relationship. The more we trust and are dependent upon the person who breaks the rules, the greater the harm, the deeper the hurt, and the bigger the betrayal. For example, let's take a child who completely trusts and depends on their parent. If that parent does something abusive or harmful, that's going to have a bigger impact then, let's say, a co-worker who takes credit for your idea. They're both betrayals because a trust has been violated, but they won't have the same impact. Betrayal can have many faces. What follows are just a few examples. About From Betrayal To Breakthrough: The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally. Host, Dr. Debi Silber introduces The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast which will be sharing insights from the best therapists, coaches, healers, thought leaders and everyday people, combined with the findings of a recent Ph.D. study on betrayal to help you move forward and heal...once and for all. Links: Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Betrayal can leave an intense emotional toxic buildup in its wake, so you must equip yourself with every tool possible to help navigate betrayal and learn to forgive. Dr. Eric Zielinkski is an aromatherapist, chiropractor, public health researcher and author of The Healing Power of Essential Oils. Today he is shedding light on the cumulative effect that betrayal can have, and what you need to do in order to look, feel and live better. Dr. Z believes that first, you must recognize that betrayal is always a possibility. It is our responsibility to learn how to forgive, remember, and give people allowance to make mistakes. If you can release your betrayal and forgive, your pain will also vanish. However, forgiveness can take time and Dr. Z shares many ways in which you can get started on your healing journey today. Learn which essential oil is the best for reducing anxiety and depression, how your breathing and posture can be a sign of stress, and the role smell can play in triggering repressed betrayal memories. As a bonus, learn some common physical responses to betrayal and why you should be creating a healthy air environment. Have essential oils played a role in your road from betrayal to breakthrough? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page. In This Episode The cumulative effect of betrayal and how it hinders our ability to deal with future events Signs and symptoms of microtraumas and betrayals Ways an emotional betrayal can manifest into a physical reaction How a positive scent can heal and a negative scent can hurt Learning how to trust again through the power of essential oils Quotes "[People] are battling financial problems, they are battling marriage problems, relationship, work problems, and they don't know why. They need to go from betrayal to breakthrough." (2:54) "When something happens to you, it really might be minor in the big scheme of things. But it seems huge because of all these little microtraumas and these micro betrayals that have come along the way. And what I want to do is help people just process betrayal, globally" (6:26) "I've become in tune with my body enough to know when something is happening, that I try not to be a reservoir for negative energy." (13:45) "You gotta at least create a healthy air environment which gives your mind a chance to just be. And that's the one thing people don't recognize is when you smell something it stimulates an immediate reaction to your brain." (20:22) "We want people to be lead intuitively, we want to let our body tell us what it needs. And this is where we need to remember that normal, should be feeling good." (26:16) Links Dr. Eric Z's Website The Healing Power of Essential Oils by Dr. Eric Zielinski How Your Biggest Crisis Reveals Your Greatest Gift Free Download Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group Check out the full show notes for this episode Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally. Host, Dr. Debi Silber introduces The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast which will be sharing insights from the best therapists, coaches, healers, thought leaders and everyday people, combined with the findings of a recent Ph.D. study on betrayal to help you move forward and heal...once and for all. Links: Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet? Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn