Free Spirit Academy Podcast

So many folks I see, and this was me too, attach goodness and morality to their health. If something is wrong, THEY feel wrong. They will spin into stories about how they're creating their own disease or this is going to turn into something far worse. Can you make some space for the fact that not all of the contributing factors were in your hands? Your genetics, adverse childhood experiences, your environment and day to day stressors that accumulate. There are areas where we have choice and can learn to be empowered...and there are factors we don't have control over. There are elements, like childhood trauma, that weren't our fault but that as adults we have quite a large degree of choice in how we address the effects. Having a sense of humor, when possible, can bring some lightness to what can be a serious and heavy healing process. Life is very short. Literally no amount of it needs to be spent beating yourself up anymore. That time would be better spent taking care of that part of you that so automatically goes into shame. Then, just coming back to what you best know works for you. again and again and again. Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

What does it actually mean to trust yourself, especially after years of trying to control every part of your life, your body, or your impulses?In this episode, I share how years of shame, "self-improvement", and control kept me trapped in cycles of compulsion and self-judgment - and what it was like to finally build trust with myself.Through personal story, trauma-informed insight, and a surprising experiment called Rat Park, this episode explores why compulsive urges aren’t failures or moral flaws - they’re messages. And when we start to listen with curiosity instead of control, trust becomes possible. In This Episode, You’ll Hear:Why compulsive behaviors aren’t about willpower or weaknessHow childhood disconnection, shame, and unmet needs shape our coping patternsThe surprising science of Rat Park - and what it reveals about safety and connectionHow I learned to shift from control to curiosityWhat self-trust looks like in real life Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

For years, I thought the urges to binge eat were THE problem...the thing standing between me and finally being okay. But what I eventually learned is that those urges were never the enemy. They were messengers.In this episode, I share what happened when I stopped trying to make my binge urges go away, and started listening to them instead.You'll hear me talk about:Why compulsive urges are communication, not failureThe nervous system roots of binge and numbing patternsHow curiosity and self-compassion can begin to shift everythingThe first step to finding freedom that isn’t built on controlIf you’ve ever wondered why you keep doing the thing you don’t want to do - this episode is for you.🌿 Mentioned in this episode: → My upcoming mini course, What’s Under the Urge - coming soon to Free Spirit AcademyJoin the mailing list to hear when it's announced.Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

In this episode, I’m exploring what happens in our bodies when we feel misunderstood - that familiar urgency to explain ourselves, prove our intentions, or make sure we're still seen as “good” or “respectable.”Through the lens of somatic awareness and my experience in burlesque, I talk about:How old wounds of being unseen or misunderstood can resurface in adulthoodThe ways those wounds can spill out as overexplaining, people-pleasing, or numbingWhy “being gotten” once felt like safety, and the importance of learning to build that safety on the inside.What it means to stay connected to our bodies, even when others don't understand us.This episode is an invitation - to both you and me - to create enough safety in our inner world that being misunderstood doesn’t have to pull us away from ourselves.Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

I’m bringing back an episode from 2023 that still feels deeply true: “Healing Doesn’t Happen in a Hurry.”This conversation is about the messy, nonlinear process of healing binge, emotional, and compulsive eating, and how the push to “get there faster” often keeps us stuck.If you’ve ever felt desperate to fix yourself or rush your healing, this episode is a reminder to slow down. To meet the version of you that exists right here, right now, because that’s the part that most needs your attention and care.Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

Living with Complex PTSD can feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to get lost in the idea that healing requires us to “fix everything” about ourselves.In this episode, I share six of the most supportive tools I’ve used in working with my own CPTSD, not as a protocol, but as a collection of practices, insights, and shifts that have helped me come home to myself and support my clients. Together, we’ll explore:Why developing a gentle inner parent changes everything.What happened when I stopped fighting my body.Simple ways to orient to safety and beauty in the world around you.The role of somatic tracking in understanding past vs. present.How to tell the difference between trauma responses and inherent traits.The books and teachings that shaped my healing journey.You’ll also hear about the external steps I had to take: leaving the religion I grew up in, coming out of the closet, and stepping back from certain relationships, and why nervous system regulation alone isn’t enough if our environment is unsafe.This isn’t about doing everything at once. It’s about the next step. Resources:Complex PTSD: From Surviving to ThrivingThe Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True SelfWaking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming ExperiencesLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

Sometimes what we need most isn’t more information, but a moment of care. This week I’m sharing one of the practices from my new mini-course Rituals for a Free Spirit. It’s short, simple, and grounding - something you can turn to anytime stress is high or your energy is low.If you enjoy this practice, you’ll find the full course linked in the show notes. It’s a collection of bite-sized rituals to help you pause, regulate, and return to yourself.Rituals for a Free Spirit Mini-CourseLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

In this episode, I share a personal look at how Complex PTSD has shown up in my life — from disordered eating and chronic pain, to a critical inner voice, self-harm urges, and long stretches of isolation.We’ll also talk about what Complex PTSD actually is, how it’s different from PTSD, and why understanding our adaptations is so powerful. Because what looks like being “messed up” or “weak” is often just our body’s best attempt to help us survive.If you’ve ever struggled with shame, overwhelm, or feeling broken — my hope is that you’ll see yourself with more compassion, and know you’re not alone.Toward the end, I’ll share how life feels for me now after years of intentional healing work — more regulated, more connected, and honestly, often delighted to be alive.In this episode, I cover:What Complex PTSD is (and how it differs from PTSD).How chronic stress can shape identity, motivation, and self-acceptance.The ways C-PTSD showed up in my own life: disordered eating, shutdown, inner criticism, pain, self-harm, and isolation.Why adaptations are not weaknesses, but survival strategies.What’s different for me today after years of healing.Resources & Links:Explore Rituals for a Free Spirit - a $19 mini-course with bite-sized practices to help you find relief and regulation, even when life feels overwhelming. Complex PTSD by Pete WalkerThe Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle SchwartzLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

In this episode, I share:Why I never thought of myself as “anxious” (even while binge eating and coping every day)How survival states and unprocessed feelings drive patterns we can’t willpower our way out ofA short guided practice to gently expand your capacity to feel without overwhelm🌿 If this practice resonates, check out my new mini-course Rituals for a Free Spirit - bite-sized tools to help you find safety, clarity, and connection in everyday life. Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

Thirteen years ago, I did a three-month juice fast. I thought it would be my big transformation...that if I could just “fix” my body, I’d finally feel both free, and deeply connected. Instead, it taught me a very different lesson: the danger of oversimplifying complex pain and treating ourselves like projects to perfect.In this episode, I share:Why fasting felt easier than learning to eat in a way that felt sane and sustainableHow I misunderstood my numbness, binge eating, and “food addiction” as moral failings rather than trauma responsesThe surprising truth I learned about healing: it’s not about purifying or transcending yourself...it’s about listening, understanding, and including all of who you areHow I moved away from extremes and began building safety and compassion for my whole selfThis month, I’m also releasing Rituals for a Free Spirit: a mini-course with simple, grounding practices for sensitive humans. It’s designed to help support you in moments of anxiety and overwhelm without adding another overwhelming to-do or trying to “fix” yourself. Sign up for my weekly email letter in the show notes to get the launch announcement (and a free ritual to try right away!).If you’ve ever chased transformation but found yourself exhausted and disconnected, I hope this episode reminds you: You are not a project to fix. You are already here, already whole, already worthy of care.🔗 Links & ResourcesJoin my weekly email letter + get a free ritualLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

This is one of my favorite solo episodes, and I wanted to bring it back for anyone who missed it the first time—or anyone who needs a reminder that feeling disconnected or “numb” is often a sign of a nervous system doing its best to protect you.In this episode, I share a bit of my own story of living for years feeling flat and disconnected, why that happens, and what it can look like to slowly come back to yourself.Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

We often hear about healing the nervous system, finding calm through breathwork, or shifting into a regulated state. But what about when those practices don’t seem to work - when they don’t bring peace, and sometimes even highlight what isn’t working in our lives?In this episode, I talk about:Why calming tools can’t fix situations that aren’t right for usHow regulation can reveal where change is neededWhat it really means to “come home” to ourselvesLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

In this solo episode, I’m sharing some of my own story: like years of rigid routines, juice fasts, and trying to follow every “right” ritual to become someone who finally felt free, healed, and whole. But what I found was that all the "being good" didn’t actually leave me feeling at home in myself.You'll hear me talk about: - How "self-improvement" can sometimes be a subtle form of self-rejection - Why rushing or “shoulds” on our healing or growth path tends to keep us looping - The difference between trying to fix ourselves vs. tending to ourselves I’ll also share a bit about my new mini program, Rituals for a Free Spirit - a no-fluff collection of short, supportive practices to help you come back to yourself in real-life moments of overwhelm, anxiety, or disconnection. It's $19, simple, and there when you need it.Sign up to hear when Rituals for a Free Spirit is released (and get a free practice!)Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

If you’ve been listening for any length of time, you know I believe that food struggles are never just about food. They’re often symptoms of something deeper - like trying to feel some sense of control after trauma or long-term stress, trying to survive in a culture that profits off us hating our bodies, or simply trying to make living inside ourselves bearable.This episode touches on:- My 15+ year struggle with food control and binge eating.- The impact of religious trauma, diet, and wellness culture, and untrue beliefs about myself.- The tricky intersection of chronic health symptoms and eating disorders.- Why food challenges aren't just a "willpower issue."If any of this resonates, know you’re not broken - and you’re not alone.🌿 The Free Spirit Academy membership is open this month! For $25/month, you’ll get access to every course inside. Inside you'll find my 30-day Binge Freedom course, as well as Coming Home to Your Body (a personal favorite) - and more. Read more about Free Spirit Academy Membership here. Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

If you’ve ever felt the lingering impact of religious trauma - especially from high-control, fear-based systems - this episode is for you. I’m sharing from my personal experience growing up in the Seventh-Day Adventist church, and exploring seven common factors that can create deep disconnection from your body, your needs, and your sense of self.This episode touches on: • Why trauma isn’t just about what happened, but how it lives in the body • How messages like “you’re born sinful” or “don’t trust yourself” can shape self-worth • The overlap between purity culture and disordered eating • The importance of reconnecting with your body in healingIf any of this resonates, know you’re not broken - and you’re not alone.🌿 The Free Spirit Academy membership is open this month! For $25/month, you’ll get access to every course inside. I recommend starting with Coming Home to Your Body - a 30-day exploration of trauma, the nervous system, and what it really means to feel safe being fully yourself.Read more about Free Spirit Academy Membership here. Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

Today I have something a little different for you.Last year, I went to my 20th high school reunion. I attended a Seventh-day Adventist boarding school, and going back felt like stepping into another lifetime. If I’d thought about religious trauma before that experience, I’ve been thinking about it a lot more since.You’ll hear me talk about that today, but what’s different is that this episode is actually from a brand new podcast I co-host called Ask Me a Question.I created this podcast with my best friend—and high school sweetheart. Years after our time in church and school, we came out to each other as queer and have spent years supporting each other’s growth and just enjoying being friends.Cedric came to me with the idea for this show because our story is unique, and we wanted a space to unpack what it was like to grow up inside a fundamentalist faith. Together, we revisit the questions that shaped and challenged our worldview, explore how we made sense of life after leaving the Adventist church, and share what it’s been like to build a life rooted in curiosity, joy, and chosen family.I hope you enjoy this first episode of Ask Me a Question.Follow Ask Me a Question:Our WebsiteAMAQ InstagramLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

THE TOP 10 MISTAKES I’VE MADE ON MY HEALING JOURNEY:Honestly, I cringe a bit using the words "healing" OR "journey" because the internet is so oversaturated with wellness or spiritual teachers. I'm not interested in making "healing" my whole personality, but simultaneously I have always had this deep interest in why things hurt. What any kind of pain, emotional, mental, or physical, is saying. and coming from a background of religious and family trauma, being queer and undiagnosed neurodivergent, and all of the ways those pains spiraled out - into years of an eating disorder, self-harm, depression, anxiety, dissociation, and chronic health symptoms...I became fixated at some point on what it would take to feel free. So whether I like the term or not, I found myself on a "healing journey" that I would say began when I got fired from my door to door missionary job and started removing myself from my church and toxic family patterns. I was in the thick of struggling with food and my body and had sooooo much accumulated trauma that it was just my "normal"...but taking those steps felt incredible. In fact, something I wish I could have told myself at various points is that there's no "heaven". There's no one point where all the things on all the levels are healed and you live happily ever after. Simultaneously, you don't have to WAIT until all the things on all the levels are healed to feel better. Life, my body, my general state of being being better than they ever have been. As I thought back, I got to thinking about all the missteps and misunderstandings up until this point and I want to share them with you. Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

I love a project. I love working towards something. I think that's pretty human. But for a long time my body was my project. I grew up in a holistic, Seventh-Day Adventist, vegetarian home. we used homeopathy and natural remedies and drank carrot juice and ate homemade bread. To this day I LOVE the taste of barley green powder because I have early memories of drinking it as something that would support my health. I wanted to know about all the supplements in the kitchen cupboard and what they would do for me. I wanted to be strong so I ate spinach straight out of the can. There was an early connection with the fact that what you eat has an impact on how you feel. Simultaneously alongside all this, my relationship with food was kinda weird...(Listen to this episode for more)Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

Today I'm talking about the ways that shame lived in my body and fed into the cycle of binge eating and disembodied practices with food. I'll also talk about making my body safe enough to finally feel the shamed parts of me so that they could be understood and come to a more whole and free place. Links:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram

Today I'm speaking with Holistic Health and Root Cause Practitioner Sarah Hook. Sarah and I have been connected online since our early wellness blogging days when we were certain we had it all figured out. Some years ago Sarah was bit by a tick and developed severe Lyme disease, causing her to question what she knew about wellness. We talk about what it's like to need food restrictions after healing from an eating disorder as well as the ways in which we can get in our own way with our attempts at healing.I hope you enjoy and feel supported by this episode.Links:Sarah and The Healing Place on InstagramRande Moss WellnessFree Spirit Academy InstagramFree Spirit Academy CoursesThe Feeling Files PodcastLinks:Work with RandeFree Spirit Academy on Instagram