Fortune Kit

The Blue Wiggle has been doing financial crimes so now the rest of the Wiggles need to do a Folsom Prison-style live album after they lock him up. And Jelly Roll needs to be careful that the Wiggles don't pull him back into a life of crime. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/138216396

Taylor Swift got engaged to a podcaster, Bob Dylan should make his own scam game console, and varispeed is musical bullet time. Fortune Kit on Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S11etkih2h0

Charles and Alex dive into "Pac-Man Fever" hitmakers Buckner & Garcia, listening to deep cuts about Waffle House, Angry Birds, and Saddam Hussein. Plus, Brian Epstein's ghost should have visited John Lennon in 1969 and told him to put the damn suits and moptops back on. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSfNUujzomI

Machine Gun Kelly thinks he might be part alien. Jeff Bezos needs to send him and Tom DeLonge to space, unlike Katy Perry they have important research to do up there. Plus, Jeff Tweedy (I call him Greedy Tweedy) is throwing too many damn pitches for the NL Central. Lollicops (Charles' Version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSfNUujzomI Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex listen to Crazy Frog deep cuts while exploring many issues. Was Soulja Boy the American Crazy Frog? Are Romanian ticks extra good at blood sucking cause they have to compete with Dracula? Do different blood types hit different to a Dracula? Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Drake, Eve Barlow, and Pat Boone pay tribute to Ozzy. And maybe we need to consider the possibility that Billy Joel was completely sober when he crashed his car through someone's living room. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/264-famous-be-135486152

Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson should take over the development of Akon City. If Coldplay is using the kiss cam at the arena, why don't they use the scoreboard too? Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Musicians should start doing MLMs, selling fans merch in bulk for them to sell to each other. Plus, Jack White got his first cell phone. Now is the time to send your catfish DMs and ask for his Apple Pay. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Oasis is serving burnt scran for 20 quid at the gig. The Velvet Sundown will never work because they could never be as late for their own show as Lauryn Hill. The handkerchief code applies to Weezer albums and your favorite color album denotes what you're into sexually. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Pop stars should have Mousetrap-style Rube Goldberg devices onstage. Vince Neil falls for porn bots and a footwear startup is using the blockchain to generate an A.I. shoe design in space. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/260-beyonce-out-133366378

Eve Barlow memorializes Brian Wilson and Drake has the pass to accuse others of being goofs. Plus: Who wore it better? Will Smith or JoCat? Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Lil Wayne and Weezer linked up again to predictable results. Also, Bob Dylan should use a dick pic as his next album cover. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

We're the only people on earth covering the indie post-grunge band Puddle of Mudd. Plus, should we taxidermy Diddy? And how come we aren't making new mummies anymore? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/257-kiss-machine-130869365

Blowback's Noah Kulwin (@nkulw) and Brendan James (@deep_beige) join Charles and Alex to make a more realistic version of Sympathy for the Devil. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Tommy Lee's wife gets catfished by a fake Ronnie Radke, Meghan Trainor embraces a new kind of body positivity, and Gene Simmons pretends to drink cum for disinterested casino crowds. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

The New York Times went backstage with Gene Simmons, and Remove Paywall Dot Com gave us the full scoop. Plus, Meghan Trainor has been featured on the Wikipedia front page a suspicious number of times and one Wikipedian has had enough. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Puddle of Mudd debuts a new song during a Jiffy Lube oil change. The buried lede is that Wes Scantlin is responsible enough to get his oil changed. Plus, we should get rid of the Hollywood Walk of Fame and replace it with an ossuary full of all our best celebs' skeletons. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex debut "David Sirota" and run down the 10 most popular YouTube music videos of all time. Plus, who else remembers when we used to have breadcrumbs trails all over the ground? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/252-money-should-127997622 "David Sirota" on YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Givy8DX0wJ0 On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2oo5yoH3F4Nz0ni2mgrQIe?si=421847197a324cb9

Deadmau5 compromised the moral and spiritual integrity of Coachella by spraying silly string on people. The Romans would have killed so many Christians in the Sphere. And there's too many popes in Heaven. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Katy Perry is excited to learn more about STEM. Rivers Cuomo has a fucking Shakespeare sticker on his guitar and also the cops shot his bassist's wife. Shakespeare would have loved Spotify because there's so many "plays" on there. Does Robert Pollard ever do "cool teacher" stuff in his class, like bring in his guitar to sing songs about PEMDAS? Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Pete Best has retired. His old band the Quarrymen were on some Flintstones shit. The Beatles should have linked up with the Chipmunks in their prime, they were the two most famous varispeed bands basically doing the same shit. The Sgt. Pepper album cover was basically Fortnite just cramming a bunch of IP together. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc3i9CKJzmI

Why do dumb tech guys keep buying Napster? Was Obama even the best presidential candidate in the Choom Gang? Has rap lost the white pillhead? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/248-who-is-snake-125929909 Charles's song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc3i9CKJzmI

Dan catches up with Charles about his latest adventures and JoJo Siwa tries to be Gene Simmons. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

The next Gene Simmons is probably a Kick streamer, Weezer should consider getting BBLs, and sadly in today's world the Winkster would be more popular than Barney. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Musicians are going crazy in space, and Imagine Dragons are getting a piece of the action. Maybe Elvis should have Spaceland on the moon. And maybe Offset needs a group with his nephew since he was the third wheel in Migos' nephew-uncle dynamic. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Was Mildred J. Hill's "Happy Birthday" what "Creep" is to Radiohead? Plus, the IRS is auctioning Tekashi 6ix9ine's Star of David pendant and Katy Perry is going to space. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/244-big-as-fuck-123859487

Imagine your german shepherd brings a dead Smurf to your doorstep. Plus, Will Smith is taking over the rap game with the Sunday Service Choir. Featuring Spencer (@TGOFV_Pod) and Cole (@aryanblackgirl). Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

This week: Boneless Thugs body horror, Mr. Bean Saudi Arabia luxury real estate, Bikini Bottom is a U.S. protectorate, and the government is removing our wisdom teeth to make us stupid. Fortune Kit on Partreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Veteran players should do senior pranks at the Super Bowl, and since Vince Neil has a jet he should get to do the Super Bowl flyover, since they're not letting geriatric rockers perform at halftime anymore. Plus, police in India try to stop Ed Sheeran from rocking. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Ringo Starr has never tried pizza, the Grammys completely snub Great White and Whitesnake, and Charles and Alex learn that Alvin and the Chipmunks were nominated for Record of the Year at the very first Grammys. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/121734020

Charles, Alex, and Dan talk about being in the navy—the British one and the Village People one. Plus, the downfall of the world's first—and now last—major-label NFT band. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex talk about Foo Fighters pinball, the Trump memecoin, and Lil Wayne's Joan Jett Signature Series Melody Maker. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex wonder if John D. Rockefeller would have turned into a whiny Elon-style baby if he had to listen to the Red Dead guys shit talk him all day online. Plus, Pitbull gets into the botanical disinfectant game and Gerard Way voices a D&D pinball machine. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex discuss IDF catgirls, Kelly Clarkson's DoD funding, and how the happy birthday song should be on the Billboard charts all year. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/119232351

Palma (@sweetxpalma) takes Charles and Alex through the early dad-rock years of Fleetwood Mac before their fateful pivot to mom rock. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Tracklist: If You Be My Baby Ooh Baby Albatross Station Man (Live San Bernardino 1971) Future Games Dissatisfied Did You Ever Love Me Second Chapter (Danny Kirwan) Station Man (Live 1975) Hypnotized (Live 1975)

A New Jersey Democrat fakes his Springsteen bona fides, Elton John comes out against the scourge of marijuana, and we discover a Snoopy-themed '60s band that dropped an anti-Osama song in 2006. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Fights break out at Mariah Carey Christmas concerts, Ronnie Radke BANNED from the U.K., and the You Know I Had to Do It to 'Em Kid, finally, had to do it to 'em. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

The Village People singer denies "YMCA" is a gay anthem, the U.K. sends dumb Christmas novelty songs to the top of the charts, and Aerosmith's drummer can't find a good cup of coffee. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/117452381

Charles and Alex appraise Trump guitars and make an official endorsement in the special election in New York's 21st Congressional District. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Did George and Amal Clooney hijack Sammy Hagar and Guy Fieri's liquor trucks? Should we use Jerry Garcia's A.I. voice to insert new stage banter into old performances? Did Stevie Wonder have Kobe killed? Charles and Alex investigate. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex discuss pop punk typos, Alice Cooper's bombshell admission that he liked school, and Mariah Carey's lawyer's induction into the Rock Hall of Fame. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

On this episode of Chapo Trap House, Charles and Alex consider a world that consists of nothing but scams. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/115163666

Charles and Dan talk crypto PACs, Robert Smith, and bootleg merch. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex speculate that Heaven is a worse version of The Villages. Geriatric former slaveowners drinking 10 a.m. mai tais and crashing their golf carts. Plus, Green Day and Barney the Dinosaur make their 30-year nostalgia plays. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex check in on T.I.'s toy lawsuit, Coldplay on QVC, and a Zionist fact check of the new Godspeed album. Plus, bats are biting everybody at concerts nowadays. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex find out about the world's first Israeli-Palestinian boy band and Elon stealing Grimes' baby name idea to use with his mistress instead. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/224-problematic-113369032

Spencer (@TGOFV_Pod) and Cole (@RaceplayShawty) join Charles and Alex to discuss Billboard oddities and songs from Spencer's "the Gauntlet" playlist. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Josiah Hughes (@josiahhughes) joins Charles and Alex to question why the three bears' porridges were different temperatures and write a pop-punk song about the challenges of being a teen. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex check in on Linkin Park's scientologist singer, Weezer's community-theater-style production of the Blue Album, and T.I.'s lawsuit against the same toy company that made Poopsie Surprise dolls. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/111797823

Charles and Alex find out Coldplay has the highest-grossing rock tour ever, examine the DNC roll call songs, and listen to Falling in Reverse's cover of Papa Roach. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit