Fortune Kit

Bob Dylan starts an AI slop Patreon and a Charlie Daniels hologram is set to play a Tennessee military base. Maybe Sharon Osbourne should make an Ozzy hologram that performs at Zionist events. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/154617893/

Meek Mill's business is moving forward at a high rate thanks to AI. A second MAGA chud has hit the Pussycat Dolls. And Trump & pals should have Grok write an Andrew Jackson musical and perform it at the Trump-Kennedy Memorial Center. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

Vinnie Vincent has an incredible new album available for $2 million. Billy Joel should crash his car through the wall of a Hard Rock Cafe and leave it there so they can preserve it. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

Ari Emanuel has a dope podcast with his 30-years-younger wife's best friend. And Lil Pump saw rappers doing witchcraft in order to get famous. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

We need microscopic goats to make the ultimate milk for Ringo Starr. All mainstream country should be about Minecraft since it's fundamentally about mining and farming and stuff. And kids should be able to buy vapes if they have good grades. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/294-microgoats-152406160

Soulja Boy should become a real estate agent. Sony's Tokyo HQ should get better toilet paper. We should follow Freddie Gibbs on tour in order to take a karate lesson before each show. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcgWQDKJhI Join the Discord: https://discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

Pitbull invents a new world record to break and Jelly Roll's wife writes a book about doing pills with ex-boyfriends who were too lazy to focus on their rap careers. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: https://www.patreon.com/cw/TroubleInRiverCity

Lil Wayne counterprogrammed the Super Bowl Halftime Show with a performance in Clash Royale with better production values than Turning Point USA. It would have been nice to see Mike Love do "Kokomo" at TP USA but it's sadly too globalist and woke. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcgWQDKJhI Join the Discord: discord.gg/HabqgJf Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: www.patreon.com/TroubleInRiverCity

Noted sicko the Dalai Lama takes home his first Grammy and Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney are announced for Turning Point USA's Super Bowl halftime show (source: Facebook). Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/290-diddy-lama-150112918

Charles and Alex talk RXKNephew, Neil Young, Nathen Mazri, and the Pitchfork paywall. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.gg/HabqgJf Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: https://www.patreon.com/TroubleInRiverCity

Soulja Boy was the first rapper to complain about pronouns for non-ideological reasons. And it's crazy the devil hangs out at the crossroads when the cross is Jesus' main thing. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Soulja Boy wears ill-fitting shoes to the club, more artists bail on the Trump Memorial Center, and Morrissey finally releases his amazing songs that the industry doesn't want us to hear. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex visit Eric Alper's website to read the article "Step by Step Guide to Buying the Ideal Legal Highs." Plus, Elon should do a new Voyager gold disk with Brony dubstep and "America, Fuck Yeah" on it and Anne Geddes should be Trump's photographer. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Obama should have drank the water in Bikini Bottom to prove it's not irradiated. And Alex reveals he is now playing a Paul Stanley signature series guitar. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/285-semi-hollow-147255525

The power of AI has made Soulja Boy 100x more efficient. In the span of a week he started a clothing brand, dropped a song, joined a new streaming platform, and started a new crypto scam. Plus, Billy McFarland actually put on a music fest. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txr__rDjZ-Q

Charles and Alex play Soulja Boy's new Rap Fighter flash game. Plus, Drake's "Nokia" was inspired by Cocomelon and Crazy Frog. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txr__rDjZ-Q

Imagine the debates they have in heaven: Socrates, Charlie Kirk, the Devil. It brings us no pleasure to report that the evil Blue Wiggle and his no-good nephew are at it again, promoting drug use to impressionable children. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/282-alexs-shroom-145155433

The Island Boys need to get their shit together and go to law school. Plus, we listen to Olivia Nuzzi's song "Jailbait" where she saw Britney Spears' schoolgirl shtick and said, "this could be less subtle." Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKsQchRmTg

Paul McCartney's "Got Back" Tour is named for his big fat ass. We also go on a journey to the year 2010, when Vladimir Putin sang Blueberry Hill and Drake got peed on (but it wasn't his fault). Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKsQchRmTg

If Democrats decide that rapping was key to Zohran's success, Lin Manuel Miranda will become the highest-paid consultant in Washington. And is Chubby Checker's music too old even for people who go to casinos? Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKsQchRmTg

Soulja Boy is back on his bullshit with a new game console, "headphone's," and $48 body wash. We also explore an artist adjacent to both Soulja Boy and Crazy Frog: 2000s ringtone sensation Gummibär. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/278-2025-flip-143067447

Is Palestine Radiohead's Yoko Ono? Plus, Bored Ape Yacht Club is making a comeback… as a Metaverse! …In 2025. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

How much is Snoop Dogg like Krusty the Clown? Sombr likes to call his teenage fans' toxic exes onstage, but what teenager would actually pick up the phone? And much like David Sirota, D'Angelo was puffing on Yoda. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Dee Snider's son has a cool Kickstarter for A.I. generated 432 Hz healing music that sounds like Imagine Dragons. Timbaland is doing some A.I. junk too. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Synyster Gates followed in the footsteps of his tech-savvy cousin Bill Gates by designing the first-ever guitar amp to be authenticated on the blockchain. The Nevermind baby tried to sue Nirvana for the millionth time and Ringo Starr used to have Kid Pix on his computer no diddy. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2kGgujxodI

Josiah and Miles drop by to discuss important questions in music. Is Machine Gun Kelly part alien? Was Kurt Cobain the first millennial? Was Josiah's music writing proto-slop? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/273-life-is-like-140368073

A woman came up with an innovative scam to auction off Graceland and she was punished for it? Can we get a nostalgia tour performing the Voyager gold disk in full? And how come the guys on our money are a bunch of threes? Can't we get some hotter people on our dollars? Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

We should give free nukes as reparations to any place we nuked in the past like Christmas Island and Bikini Bottom. Also eTickets is generating dogshit AI images of every artist currently on tour. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE58hz8U0Ms

Alex's years-old prediction of Thin Lizzo has come true. Setlist FM shows that Justin Timberlake performed the hit jingle "I'm Lovin' It" live only once in Zurich. Flintstones animals liked to complain but in retrospect they had it pretty good. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSfNUujzomI