Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024. The agenda includes: the inevitable keywords of the latest England group-stage non-event, some eerily good Euros predictions from the pod back in December, the rampant Commentator’s Curse of Euro 2024, whether Arda Guler’s wondergoal met the “a star is born” threshold, some classic Andy Townsend punditry, a Dutch take on football clichés discourse, the textbook host-nation scenario and a surprise guest on a YouTube watchalong. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the first Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024. The agenda includes: the (very predictable) reaction to England's laborious win over Serbia, Gabriel Clarke (sort of) gives his update on the mood in the Cliches podcast camp, which country are "the most Group C team ever", what makes a shot go "agonisingly wide" and more niche highlights from the Euros so far. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On the eve of Euro 2024, Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to select a lineup of players most inextricably linked with the European Championship. The deliberations feature a strict Greeks and Czechs quota, the "Kopke vs Toldo" dilemma, a Silver Goal scorer in the heart of the defence, a dinker, a scooper and a disgraced former UEFA president in midfield, a clamour for Alan Dzagoev, a frankly inevitable bias towards Euro 2004, Will Grigg on fire (and on the bench) and a battle of the one-hit wonders up front. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an alternative methodology for calculating England's "years of hurt", the latest a team can take the lead "inside X minutes", the scourge of midfielders being included among the "forwards" in international squad graphics, the obligatory Euro 2024 "dark horses" debate, the Jack Grealish/Hellmann's mayonnaise Euros marketing calamity and obscure Arsenal figures namechecked in video games Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the merits of Germany vs Scotland as an opening game and field some important listener questions on hailing, left pegs and players who can "slot in". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the "capo" (the one who conducts the Ultras chants with his back to the game), the joy of just kicking a football right up into the air as high as possible, clubs who have a generation-spanning “mentality” attributed to them, the horrifying split-second when the ball is passed out of frame during a TV game and - once and for all - just how many “years of hurt” it has technically been for England. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on yet another skincrawling moment for footballspeak in the political sphere and pick apart the mandatory pre-tournament custom of team-by-team guides. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Adam Lallana squeezing in the phrase "football club" three times in just 6.8 seconds, Gareth Bale declaring himself the last piece of Real Madrid's mid-2010s jigsaw, a former Chelsea captain popping up in The Wire, un-highlights-able sports and a very brief history of England's pre-tournament warm-up games. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy the inevitable development that was Jose Mourinho to Fenerbache and decide if you can declare a tournament's "surprise package" in advance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With the curtain now closed on the domestic season, Football Clichés takes another look at the podcast's very best moments of 2023/24. In the style of the bafflingly beloved Premier League Years, this review features: A protracted summer transfer saga, the Pure La Liga XI, the finer technicalities of “ghosting in”, the birth of quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds, Gary Neville's unexpected Squid Game cameo, Eddie Howe being Eddie Howe, washing machines that sound like referees, The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI, goalscoring chances that get "gobbled up", the Clichés Quiz taking on podcasting all-comers, the complex sovereignty of James Ward-Prowse territory, Andy Gray’s pretend conversations, "Gary Del Neil" and a long-awaited visit from Gary Lineker. The Football Clichés pod will continue throughout the summer, including Euro 2024 and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Eddie Howe's trip to the set of Neighbours, a technical query on the Premier League's save of the season, a stunning Match of the Day coincidence, Gus Poyet's JFK secret revealed and some heavy-metal Keys & Gray. Meanwhile, the panel decide when a club is truly "established" in the Premier League and whether signing two players from different clubs could ever be a "double swoop”. GET YOUR FOOTBALL CLICHES MERCH HERE: formysins.shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns and this month's opposition for the Clichés crew is Tayo Popoola, Mark G Smith and Stuart Laws who are the brains behind scripted football comedy podcast Dial F for Football. The colourful questions include a kit-manufacturer mystery, players who somehow never signed for West Ham, ludicrous La Liga nicknames, Steve McManaman's unique units of footballing measurement, musical footballers, Premier League shortarses, some more classic foreign-language dubbing and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Listen to Dial F for Football here: https://podfollow.com/1731856306/view Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: another commentator answering their own rhetorical question, a brand new "good X for a big man" variation, a tuneful Serie A commentary exclamation, a Match of the Day protocol scandal, a superb rendition of a bragging-rights commentary classic and an all-conquering Manchester ice-cream merchant. Meanwhile, the panel ponder which goals you can and cannot "pop up" to score and enjoy Keys & Gray's passionately-justified Premier League teams of the season. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the slow-motion facial expression of choice for a missed chance, why players don't take practice swings before dead-ball situations, the cynical optical illusion of double advertising hoardings and the scourge of fantasy XIs that have no tactical balance. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on Ange Postecoglou's emotional week, some more bemoaning of underappreciated English managers and the secret behind Manchester City's era of Premier League dominance. GET YOUR FOOTBALL CLICHES MERCH HERE: formysins.shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: mangled football chants in sportswear adverts, a textbook crisis-deepener for Manchester United, some re-recorded commentary curiosity, more Football Names in Things and a brief history of last pieces of Premier League jigsaws. Meanwhile, the panel examine a use of "who else but" for a goalscorer in ice hockey and reassess the "a goal worthy of" threshold. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Tom Williams on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: 1930s musical-inspired chants for Premier League right-backs, the mystery player behind a Premier League Player of the Month trophy on eBay, an unlikely after-dinner-speaking football duo, a perfectly-preserved cultural artefact in the men's toilets at Tranmere Rovers, why the EFL needs to fix its promotion-celebration banners, and much more. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy one of European football's cult controversies from Tom's new book Va-Va-Voom: The Modern History of French Football and hear how France has embraced Premier League club nicknames. Get your Football Cliches merch here: https://www.100-percent.co.uk/collections/football-cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Erling Haaland confounds football's obsession with the star-rating system, Sky Sports News hunting down Arne Slot, Jamie Carragher on the Toy Story franchise, Peter Crouch misunderstanding rollercoasters and Keys & Gray's new refereeing admin nemesis is revealed. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy an above-average moment for football analogies in the political sphere. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes Gary Lineker for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Match of the Day host and England legend chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Gary's selections are his growing curiosity about expected goals, the psychology of penalty shootouts, the death of strikers rounding goalkeepers, a not-so-radical solution for quick free kicks, overindulgent TV slow-motion replays and the futile duty of pre-match interviews with managers. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel bemoan the misuse of "high-flying" for teams who don't need it and ask Gary a very important question about a Match of the Day tradition. Get your Football Cliches merch here: https://www.100-percent.co.uk/collections/football-cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether Arsenal won the north London derby "the hard way", when Sarcastic Pep becomes impossible to separate from Normal Pep, commentators answering their own rhetorical questions, teams "sealing" relegation, more footballspeak at the snooker, a footballer-sounding shampoo innovation and Harry Redknapp opening a local supermarket. Meanwhile, the panel analyse a listener's Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI and enjoy some more vintage Andy Gray co-commentary. Get your Football Cliches merch here: https://www.100-percent.co.uk/collections/football-cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again and this month the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of the Totally Football Show's Michael Cox, Jay Harris and Sasha Goryunov. The questions include managers who just know their clubs, Monday Night Football hotbeds, Player of the Month merchants, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, 'bit of both' punditry line-ups and, of course, the Happy Hunting Grounds round. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some commentary highlights from the FA Cup semi-finals, a classic anti-VAR put-down, a surprise trumpet player on a George Michael album, football chat at the snooker once again, Guardian Football Weekly debating glancing headers and Thomas Muller ending the most tenuous footballing drought of all time. Meanwhile, the panel discuss what type of goal is best described as "a peach" and decide the maximum number of players involved in an X-on-Y counter-attack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the hapless but unifying body language of a player who doesn't know where the ball is, a genuinely worrying peripheral astroturf hang-up, the downsides of teams from the same country being drawn together in Europe and the impact of the iPad on managerial decorum after their team has conceded a very specific type of goal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: players forgetting it's a cup game in their post-match interview, notably young referees, Wayne Rooney's childhood Match of the Day dream, Barclays-era referees popping up in The Simpsons and Andy Gray answering his own questions. Meanwhile, the panel discuss teams "trying to score the perfect goal" and enjoy Matt Le Tissier being out-weirded for once. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes commentator Jon Champion for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Jon's selections are Ally McCoist's sheer enthusiasm for football (and life), the romance of the underdog, overseas fans' fascination with English football, the temptation of recency bias, the grilled shrimp at Minnesota United and the overcomplication of football terminology. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel grill their guest on the art of teasing your co-commentator and enjoy his recorded audio for Pro Evolution Soccer 2013. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: James Ward-Prowse making the podcast eat its words, some subversive penalty commentary, some harsh words for a 50-yard clearance upfield, some rare footballers called Pete and people talking like Richard Keys in unexpected places. Meanwhile, the panel bemoan some hasty Panenka-declaring and decide the derby most likely to inspire the words "in these parts". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a much-needed abbreviation for the business end of the EFL campaign, some autopilot content with the Brazilian Ronaldo, an audiobook voiceover artist guessing the tune of a football chant, a unique goalscoring verb, Richard Keys on his own Wikipedia page and why there aren't any footballers called "Pete". Meanwhile, the panel decide if a corner can be described as "[Player X] territory" and whether it's possible to score from a tight angle on the halfway line. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jude Bellingham staying one step ahead of the England news cycle, a suitably literal analysis of the chant "Is this a library?", whether a very specific type of penalty decision is really in the spirit of the game, Gary Neville on Beyonce, Andy Gray's greatest hits, and Richard Keys’ career advice for Xabi Alonso. Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many passes constitute a "string" and whether a player has ever scored a goal with the "middle" kick of the game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again as the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of Scottish football experts The Terrace for a three-round Battle of Britain. The questions include international allegiance switchers, potentially Satanic backwards football audio, Anglo-Scottish exports, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, semi-forgotten Old Firm Englishmen and, of course, the Happy Hunting Grounds round. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Being "among the goals" (and, even worse, "among the assists"), whether Endrick really did "light up Wembley", if friendlies count as the "Road to [Tournament Host Nation X]" and whether the word "goalposts" is set for footballing extinction. Meanwhile, the panel ponder which player has their "prime" cited the most before ranking and rating the terms used for an individual player being a constant threat to a specific team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' March entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the quiet honour of spotting how much added time there will be before the fourth official holds the board aloft, the curious lack of a genuine market leader for shin pads, the aesthetics of long-range efforts going in at the near post and the anxiety of trying to choose which game to follow during the overlapping Premier League games on Amazon Prime. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if you can use "leading the line" for a centre-back and enjoy an egregious example of footballspeak on American TV. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jonathan Pearce's most Partridge moment to date, the parameters of a "pivotal" win, some inspired sleep-related footballspeak from Matty Cash, and the first ever recorded example of a commentator heralding an opener by saying "could it be one?". Meanwhile, the panel ponder what sort of chance would be described as a "good one by his standards" and we look forward to a clash for the ages as Richard Keys' Coventry City are drawn against Erik ten Toast's Manchester United. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: footballspeak in the darts world, Rio Ferdinand on locksmiths, League One clubs tweeting like heartbroken teenagers, football-inspired parenting and some planning permission woe for Alan Curbishley. Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether a penalty can be put "back where it came from" and whether a goal confirmed by goal-line technology can be described as "fired home". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Guy Mowbray slips back into footballspeak on Gladiators, some free-kick technique on Coronation Street, the use of "over to you" in Premier League title races, a 4/10 Super Sunday promo montage, Anfield's "sucking the ball into the net" tradition turned on its head and some Keys & Gray chat that BeIN Sports didn't want us to hear... Meanwhile, the panel decide whether a goal can be "taken well" with a header and enjoy a rare, unifying crowd noise from Villa Park. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a new twist for "the streets will never forget", news of a textbook away win for a killer whale, some baffling Football Focus revisionism, the "dropping like flies" threshold, and Keys & Gray get stuck into IFAB's latest tweaks to the laws of the game. Meanwhile, the panel debate the direction you should write out a starting lineup and run through a Premier League table of nicknames that lend themselves to describing victory or defeat in headlines Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a comprehensive review of the Haaland missed sitter incredulity, footballspeak finding its way into the World Indoor Athletics Championships, the great gap vs gulf vs chasm debate, Ollie Watkins' Weston-Super-Mare origin story, and yet another attempt by Keys & Gray to identify the next Manchester United manager. Meanwhile, the panel define the difference between being in the mix, in the conversation, in the hunt and in the shake up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its tenth edition and, for the first time, the Clichés pod team up to take on the trivia might of the Career We Go Podcast across six rounds of niche football knowledge. Posers include clubs who’ve never had an Adidas kit, Coventry’s forgotten Euro 2000 star, Premier League one-game wonders, A.I. translations of cult football outbursts, managerial microphilosophies, tantalisingly-revealed career paths and the Cliches pod's very own Happy Hunting Grounds round. Check out the Career We Go Podcast here: https://linktr.ee/careerwego Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Gary Neville breaking an obscure rule of the English language, "doing the hard bit" before delivering a cross, unexpected Serie A references on Gladiators, the textbook scenario for a striker "gobbling up" a chance, a welcome return for "In & Around" Corner, and Keys & Gray's footballing weekend. Meanwhile, the panel imagine what a "cynical" finish would look like and what constitutes "the minimum of fuss" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the cut-off point for being able to say you work "in football", some curious commentary from the Lithuanian ultimate frisbee scene, a non-league co-commentator who exists almost purely in vowel sounds, the least perilous disciplinary tightrope of all time and the language of Champions League first legs. Meanwhile, the panel decide the entry requirements for football's "exclusive clubs" and debate where the dotted lines should be drawn on a league table. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the shortest bright start ever made to a football match, mid-2000s Man Utd workhorses popping up in US crime serials, the most cited of the five senses in football commentary, Keir Starmer's latest pre-election football analogy and Richard Keys' war on socks. Meanwhile, the panel decide how far "a stone's throw" from a stadium is allowed to be and uncover a pro-Fulham TV drama conspiracy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' February entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are mishit shots that turn into crossfield passes, players going to absurd lengths to convince a referee they got the ball in a tackle, when both sets of fans applaud a passage of play, full-backs refusing to readjust their shorts and montages that constantly remind you of a famous goal your team conceded. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if a player can have "genuine height" and if "potential banana skin" is appropriate for the Champions League knockout stages. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The precise moment we allow ourselves to tell a goalbound free kick to "go on", a soap opera commanders a Premier League cultural cornerstone, Sean Dyche tackles his latest "trendy" scourge of modern football, an unexpected manager in a Siouxsie & The Banshees track and Montell Jordan sings about 1990s English right-backs. Meanwhile, the panel pinpoint the rise and fall of the "quarterback" role in football, enjoy a very indignant letter to a newspaper about their use of football-club suffixes and decide the least "long-sleeved" position on the pitch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Les Dennis questions “the woodwork”, a never-before-heard alternative to "meat and drink", a prescient 2016 interview by Harry Redknapp, some unexpected footballer names in Murder, She Wrote and the concept of the "paintbrush volley". Meanwhile, the panel pick Robert Earnshaw as their captain in a lineup of truly trivial players in the Pure Quiz Question XI. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the parameters for a goalkeeping "horror show", Turkish footballer names in Scandinavian crime dramas, the rigid language of Chelsea home defeats, the charmingly basic logic of England's pre-Euros warm-up opponents and, inevitably, Richard Keys on Arsenal's post-match celebrations. Meanwhile, the panel examine just what makes a manager "wily" (apart from being Scottish) and decide when it's too much of a lost cause to grab the ball out of the net after a consolation goal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Chris Wilder's curious refereeing complaint, an uncertain start to Mark Clattenburg's Gladiators role, an unexpected commentator's name on Silent Witness, and Tony Gale gives us the most baffling description of an effort on goal we've ever heard. Meanwhile, the panel select one of their most delicately-balanced XIs so far: a lineup of players who represent the truest mid-point of Premier League talent, the most mid-table side ever assembled, a celebration of top-flight averageness in its purest sense. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a fascinating audio illusion from West Brom vs Wolves, Ally McCoist & Andy Townsend's analysis of an Animal XI, commentator Jonathan Pearce ruins a French child's birthday, a niche but fundamental error of judgment in Michael Carrick’s autobiography and English football stadiums that sound like people. Meanwhile, the panel try to envisage "the most FA Cup type of goal" and decide whether "the last kick of the game" can ever be a header. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Frank Lampard finally acknowledging his niche habit, some textbook crowd scenes at the snooker, the commentary hero of AFCON 2024 so far, a long-overdue appreciation of the yellow footballs used for indoor 5-a-side and Charlie produces a revelation in For My Sins Corner. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the the logic of people who hate football and identify the most "you’d run through a brick wall for them" manager. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The criteria for a club looking to "kick on from here", a Canadian take on the cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke, a Man Utd midfielder popping up in a death metal track, goalkeepers being "beaten all ends up" and Alan Pardew takes on Richard Keys. Meanwhile, the panel debate the criteria for a team being called "toothless", a side getting a "foothold" in a match and how many players from one country you need for a "contingent". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a special January transfer window project: selecting a lineup of players who somehow never turned out for particular clubs. The selection panel throw around thoughts such as which Old Firm club would have signed Mark Bosnich, just what it is about Younes Kaboul that suits QPR so much, how is it possible that Wayne Routledge spent ten years at Swansea, Peter Crouch: pure Fulham and much, much more. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel appreciate some incredible pub-chat footballspeak, admire Ally McCoist and Andy Townsend in their element on Talksport and listen to a politician colliding with football yet again, with predictably horrific results. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some glorious urging-to-shoot from Watford's away fans, Seamus Coleman and the most loyal 3.67 seconds in football history, a commentator's unexpected darts digression, football words that "get bandied about a lot" and an unacceptably emphatic announcement of added-on time. Meanwhile, the panel envisage the exact opposite of a "striker's goal" and decide the most surprising fixture the Premier League has never seen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point, the geographical hierarchy of English football, tiny ways of keeping yourself amused during televised games you don’t really care about, the "anti-urging" of a centre-back to shoot from 30 yards, journalists tweeting goal updates from games everyone is watching anyway and some very relatable throw-in paranoia. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a 90s Irish footballer with a glorious name and question if two players can “swap goals” in a 1-1 draw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some ski-jumping commentary, fundamental football words we never knew had been cancelled, the minimum requirement for an FA Cup "journey" and the longest ever delay between a goal being scored and the away fans celebrating at the other end. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the "It's just like watching Brazil" threshold, decide which stadium PA announcement would get the least response from a crowd and it's Eccleshare vs Miller in a Happy Hunting Grounds quiz-off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the first Adjudication Panel of 2024. The agenda includes: Matt Upson co-commentating on the rain, home appliances that sound like football things, barrel-scraping content in elite players' autobiographies, a long-overdue confession from Roque Santa Cruz and Richard Keys' Erik ten Hag impression. Meanwhile, the panel decide what sort of shot constitutes a "piledriver" and whether a chance can be "tucked wide”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its ninth edition, and after years of standing on the sidelines it's finally the turn of David Walker to step up to the plate and take on defending champion Adam Hurrey, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare once again assuming the role of quizmaster. Walker and Hurrey battle it out over another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Stuart Pearce's favourite areas of outstanding natural beauty, who Richard Keys likes to talk to about his blog in the gym, Premier League training ground name battles and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices