Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: satisfying goal commentaries on Match of the Day, Arne Slot learns a very mundane English sporting word, the “sick of the sight of him” threshold, surprise Andy Townsend co-commentary in a song intro, commentators taking 5.88 seconds to realise a goal has been scored, how a team becomes “all-conquering” and some typical broadcasting gold from the boys at BeIN Sports. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's subliminal, accidental Andy Gray impression, a massively overdone Champions League scene-setting montage from Amazon Prime Video, Jose Mourinho’s last remaining elite quality is brought into question, inadvertent footballers’ names in wrestling podcasts and typically tuneless American deployments of self-deprecating football chants. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy the obsessive football undertakings of a listener cross-referencing players' initials with UK postcodes and a one-man TikTok operation to shut down factually inaccurate footballer anecdotes. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour next month: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Match of the Day intro scandal is concluded peacefully, football commentators' names in 14th-century bequeathals, the puzzling punditry quantification of goalkeepers' influence, Scott Parker goes a bit too deep about Burnley's low block, musical commentary from MLS, Keith Andrews' flourishing managerspeak and Richard Keys - yet again - on Manchester United's malaise. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some niche observations from Serbia 0 England 5, welcoming Cape Verde's imminent World Cup qualification with open arms, the unfinishedness of Ange Postecoglou's business, football commentators’ names in Suffolk castles’ family fun days and a review of Mick McCarthy and Tony Pulis's new podcast Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: an unprecedented twist on the "knowledgeable crowd", a listener spots something in the Match of the Day intro, Michael Owen's semi-ironic new era, some exquisite football pedantry in the case of the FA vs Lucas Paqueta, a never-before-considered research project into Premier League draws, the most “cat amongst the pigeons” goal ever and which team is most strongly associated with a badge in the middle of their shirt. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In another superb trivia clash, the 21st installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on Jonathan Wilson, Jack Pitt-Brooke and John Brewin from the Libero podcast. The questions include: World Cup winners with the names of prime ministers, Premier League beanpoles, domestic cup-final losers, top-flight match balls, various football figures dubbed into European languages, some apparently obligatory questions about the 1930 World Cup, and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Troy Deeney and Joel Ward mangle their punditry clichés, a highly appropriate sound is heard after Brighton score their winner against Man City, the New York Times' crossword shows football no respect, Jack Grealish takes the "great to se him enjoying his football again" crown, mid-game things players have "no right" to do and Keys & Gray get ultra-defensive about the return of the long throw to elite-level football. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the players' disbelieving reactions to team-mates' wondergoals, goalkeepers who react furiously to Panenkas against them, the anxiety of shooting into an empty goal in a 5-a-side warm-up and a never-before-heard grievance about scoring penalty shootouts. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess Peter Crouch's "streets won't forget" 5-a-side lineup and wonder if some lamentable footballspeak in a political drama is not quite as it seems. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Stockley Park canteen saga rumbles on, inexplicable TV cameos from Sean Dyche, the closest we’ve come to locating the end of Graham Potter’s tether, footballing events that are too big to be “sliding-doors moments”, an incredible deployment of “for my sins”, some glorious proverbial-cotton-wool confusion and Richard Keys christens Everton’s new home. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Jon Champions lowers the commentary tone in the Champions League qualifiers, Sky Sports' on-screen butchering of the embryonic Premier League table, a classic football geography error in Sherlock & Co, a sat-nav voiced by a football pundit and the maximum number of footballing "times of asking". Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Sean Dyche's date with destiny: a long-awaited appearance on Sam Allardyce's podcast. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Match of the Day's non-evolution, the opening-weekend Premier League verdicts on who to fear for/who'll be fine, the concept of “knocking on the door" of the opposition, a low-key early contender for "game’s gone" moment of the season, a finely-poised "watching football on holiday" dilemma, refereeing clampdowns down in Sunday league, Nigel Farage's unconvincing football campaign and Stockley Park's latest crisis. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the nichest world record in football is shattered once again, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's ex-footballer/Strictly contestant spiel, the extinguishing of Celeste’s five-year Sky Sports flame, why Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Leeds just feels so right, throwaway footballspeak in Homer’s Iliad and the Robert Earnshaw of bedwetting. Meanwhile, the panel run through some niche Premier League predictions for 2025-26, including the first 10 guests on Monday Night Football. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural mini-review of the Community Shield, some glorious crowd-noise from the Championship, the decline of the word "amid" continues, Dean Saunders reboots his campaign against football jargon, Sunderland's transfer strategy goes back to basics and yet another Lionel Messi landmark. Meanwhile, the panel assess Wycombe's new goalscoring verb amid cricket's fascinating collections of words for batsmen hitting the ball. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Conor Coady introduces himself as a Wrexham player in customary style, the awkwardness of double-header friendlies, the alphabetical distribution of team names in the top European leagues, some astonishing pedantry on Jimmy Greaves' Wikipedia page, textbook Andy Townsend radio chatter and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more Cliches references in wrestling commentary, Adam suffers a textbook "freak footballer injury" in real life, a cultural review of UK soap operas referencing England’s Euro 2025 glory, the glorious names of the vanquished non-League clubs in the FA Cup extra preliminary round, "the most 2011 transfer of all time", in-demans strikers' names in sci-fi spin-off series, the "90s footballer anecdote" cadence, and Richard Keys' big week out in the wild. Meanwhile, the panel endure some terrible examples of AI-generated football content and decide how long teams should get for their new signings to "gel". Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The twentieth installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on James Maw, Jack Pitt-Brooke and Dan Kilpatrick from the Athletic's Tottenham podcast The View From The Lane The questions include: Premier League sextuple goalsmen, 32-year-old footballers, incomplete XIs, the moderately well trodden path from Tottenham to Los Angeles, famous football voices dubbed into foreign languages, musical midfield maestros, footballers names on the Wimbledon champions board and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the body language of players who should have had the ball squared to them but their team scored anyway, high-risk extra-curricular goalkeeping activity, unrealistic football skills in films and the lack of chips on sale at top-level football stadia. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 2 Italy 1, Alan Brazil gets his head around the "Barclaysman" concept, the threshold for "weathering an early storm", Florian Wirtz blind-ranking potatoes and Troy Deeney offers some precious insight into being an elite-level player. Meanwhile, the panel discuss when it is appropriate to say a club have "got their man" in the transfer market and suggest some unoriginal football articles that never need to be written again. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Watford calling their new striker "free-scoring", the statute of limitations on a commentator's curse, adventurous commentators in UEFA Conference League qualifying, Besiktas find the most Besiktas solution to being snubbed by Kyle Walker-Peters, two-cap England internationals in Austro-Bavarian Christmas horror films and a 9/10 example of "the Lionel Messi Of [Industry X]" Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The knowledgeable Wimbledon crowd being too knowledgeable, ex-Tottenham midfield maestros in West African percussion, Adam's addiction to identifying football matches in the background of TV shows, questionable depictions of the football calendar in Danish science fiction novels and much more. Meanwhile, the panel give their vivid images of Tour de France riders as football players, based on their name alone. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England meeting the Euro 2025 "lift-off" criteria, unexpected new players in the transfer-reporting game, Aston Villa marksmen in Basque hip-hop lyrics, an unorthodox analogy for Iran's terror threat to the UK, 90s football injuries you don't hear about, and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Commentators vs Fancy Kit Fonts, Joao Pedro (almost) literally repays a chunk of his transfer fee, politicians getting football wrong Pt.1,586, the club most likely to sign the current Free Agent XI, and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit https://nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's karaoke with an EFL goal machine's wife, the tennis equivalent of a goal going in off the crossbar, a possible world record for a player’s exaggerated percentage of effort given for their team, Watford's cowardly kit statement, a familiar crowd noise pops up in a 2002 ITV drama and Richard Keys takes on....Wimbledon's Royal Box. Meanwhile, the panel tackle the two biggest philosophical questions of our time: can you "plot an exodus"? And can you "explore a swoop"? Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The return of an allegedly iconic football TV programme, a never-before-seen method of laying out a starting XI, fears for an England team in a European major-tournament heatwave and the hypothetical situation of a team that wins every single game 1-0. Meanwhile, the panel imagine Wimbledon tennis players as footballers and decide when a game's "floodgates" can be opened. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Celeste refusing to play the Super Sunday theme tune at Glastonbury, the club we really should have predicted would sign a nine-goal striker called Vivaldo, the prospect of substituted players being interviewed live on TV next season, Jhon Duran's curious career path, Conor McNamara's freestyle Club World Cup commentary and schools acting like Premier League clubs. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the injury reports in 5-a-side group chats, players who look like they think throw-ins are beneath them, the horror of watching a game on a TV from an angle of less than 40 degrees and the unsatisfying asterisk that looms over at least half a dozen major international tournament winners since 1954. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel ponder how many departing players make an "exodus". Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: which player could most plausibly play for all 32 Club World Cup teams, the inevitability of Ref Cam in the Premier League, more inappropriate EFL new-signing language, slightly desperate football references in Channel 4 TV listings, describing players as "Swiss Army knives" and the first glimpse of Steve Coogan’s big-screen Mick McCarthy Meanwhile, the panel decide the cut-off point for declaring a successful penalty was "never in doubt" and what it would take for a player operating outside Europe to win the Ballon d'Or. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Bundesliga commentator Kevin Hatchard to compile the quintessential lineup of players from modern German football. The selection process involves some unhinged goalkeepers, giant defenders fathered by US military servicemen, lesser-known Brazilians, meat-and-potatoes midfielders, Japanese imports who stayed forever, German Under-21 internationals with English mums, a walking advert fort German footballing mentality, a Brazilian striker with no more than four caps for the Selecao and a lumbering German journeyman to spearhead the whole thing. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some early Club World Cup observations (including DAZN's motley crew of pundits and co-commentators), an unexpected Nigel Farage-based analogy, barely-audible Andy Hinchcliffe co-commentary in Ukrainian dance music, Kyle Walker's Turkish Super Lig credentials, a double header of football references in audiobooks and the Lampard & Gerrard of darts. Meanwhile, the panel examine the concept of "showing too much of the ball to the defender" and enjoy the launch material for next season's referee kits. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

& David Walker. On the agenda: the half-hearted fallout from England 1-3 Senegal, Scotland's George Hirst mixes up his metaphorical goalscoring relief, why Claudio Ranieri should go to the World Cup, an unexpected exclamation from a South American commentator and cash vs curiosity as the Club World Cup looms. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some elite-level Reddit pedantry and thrash out the definition of putting on a footballing "clinic". Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Clichés army react to Dave's big news, Thomas Tuchel enters familiar territory for an England manager, Lee Dixon continues to settle into his co-commentary caricature, Ange Postecoglou and other managers "always welcome back at [Stadium X]", acceptable new-signing adjectives from EFL social media admins, Conor Coady's hyper-logical next move and news of the 2025 Football Clichés Live tour. Meanwhile, the panel tick off the only club in the top five tiers of English football to have never been mentioned on the pod. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & Nick Miller. On the agenda: the bonus Tom Cruise punditry we all wanted to hear, the traditional opening bell for the England/World Cup news cycle, tracking down the Richard Keys commentary from an early-90s management sim, the unofficial Cristiano Ronaldo classical music night, Dan Walker mixes up Baroque composers with generic Brazilian footballers and the club who are most obviously going to sign Aleksandar Mitrovic this summer. Meanwhile, the panel decide the point at which a game can be described as "end to end" and discover whose name has been uttered the most in Cliches pod history: Keys or Gray? Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase https://saily.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: US advertising getting the Champions League exquisitely wrong, the suffocating sycophancy of watching the final with David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Tom Brady, out-of-work football managers in basketball novels, 7/10 football debates in Netflix crime dramas, Tesco introduces VAR at its self-service checkouts and a Clichés listener goes above and beyond in service to the podcast. Also, the pod unveils Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience. Sign up now at dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes Jacob Hawley and Jake Farrell - aka The Screen Rot Podcast - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as they choose their six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among their selections are the criteria for being a "proper football club", judging anonymous 5-a-side teammates by the obscurity of the kit they’re wearing, referee bias when the ball is being kept in the corner and the modern scourge of cross-sport tribute celebrations. Meanwhile, the epic search for the commentary sampled in the theme tune to Gazzetta Football Italia comes to a glorious conclusion. Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the art of the double guard of honour, a baffling soundtrack to Napoli’s Scudetto ceremony, England one-cap wonders' names in old episodes of The Bill, Premier League players whose names belong in other sports and the start of what could be the greatest saga in investigative football podcasting history. Meanwhile, the panel ponder which game is the most “have it on DVD and never watch it” game of all time. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Will Still’s inevitable English football unveiling edges closer, the Etihad reaction to Omar Marmoush’s wonder goal, Lionel Messi pops up in Mobland, mid-table Eredivisie clubs in sci-fi novels and some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from Serie A. Meanwhile, the panel decide what makes a signing "shrewd" and hear a story of some overengineered 6-a-side organisation. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the weekend's hat-trick of feelgood football stories (feat. Sean Dyche's co-commentary vindication), a surprise football name in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a superbly named Scottish police officer, a perfectly proportionate voiceover in an advert for An Evening With Matt Le Tissier and Harry Winks' knowledge of semi-obscure Premier League veterans. Meanwhile, the panel ponder if Dean Henderson met the "The [Player X] Final" threshold and decide what defines a striker as a "hitman". Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns to take on EFL specialists Ali Maxwell, George Elek (and ringer ex-pro David Prutton) from the Not The Top 20 podcast. The questions include: UEFA Cup final brace-baggers, play-off semi-final assists, stadiums with "Road" in their name, lower-division England debutants, famous football voices dubbed into foreign languages, iconic commentary recited from memory, guessing the Football League player and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Tickets for NTT20 Live at the Crucible in Sheffield here: https://www.sheffieldtheatres.co.uk/book/instance/822201 Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the secret behind Watford's managerial recruitment strategy, Luis Enrique on "farmers leagues", a superb conclusion to a fine couple of weeks for football-themed papal conclave discourse, Premier League managers’ names in UFO sightings, Clive Tyldesley’s legal rights over the name “Clive”, bawdy banter in the TNT gantry and the optimum amount of time to be "rotting in the reserves". Meanwhile, the panel ponder football's metaphorical "mountain to climb". Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of Inter 4-3 Barcelona (from both sides of the Atlantic), the fascinating depths of the Trent Alexander-Arnold legacy discourse, MK Dons going round in circles as they unveil their new crest, a journey into the unravelling media persona of Graham Potter, the football-inspired phrase "moving the goalposts" and much more. Meanwhile, the panel speak to the star of last week's Footballers' Names in Things, a certain Rudi Voller. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as they clock up 1,001 combined pod appearances. On the agenda: some perfectly timed crowd noise to meet a commentator's 4/10 pun, Andy Gray's influence on snooker commentary, Kevin De Bruyne giving the shortest shrift possible to a stat, Crystal Palace fans vs Eberechi Eze's penalty run-up, Trent Alexander-Arnold's Bernabeu unveiling and much more. Meanwhile, the panel decide which managers fit the criteria to be called “glorified PE teachers”. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are gaslighting your partner with deliberately difficult football trivia, the art of skipping highlights to perfectly miss out the punditry, the modern game’s addiction to the present tense and the most "mid-game" possible celebration for scoring a penalty in a shootout. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some very unexpected footballers names in international news stories, try to comprehend a shock David Seaman statistic and also announce the first Cliches Quiz Live in Leeds on June 12th. Book your place at the quiz at tickets.footballcliches.com Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Wembley's drum-beat woodwork, the most "mid-2000s FIFA game" commentary of the season, why Newcastle now must win 21 league titles in a row or the world will implode, the textbook FA Cup final pairing, and mapping Manchester United's doldrums era to that of Liverpool's 1990-2020. Meanwhile, the panel contemplate the Club World Cup, live on Channel 5, and absorb a listener's deep data dive on Premier League press-conference cliches. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: managers accidentally inviting Dave to their birthday parties, Clive Tyldesley's Substack innuendo, ex-Premier League managers’ names in popes, fascinatingly-named Malaysian referees, Chris Sutton's Sir Jim Ratcliffe impression, the most perfectly flowing EFL crowd noise of the season Meanwhile, the panel review a listener's "If Premier League Clubs Were Supermarkets" rundown and decide the most “hands over the head clapping the fans after a game” manager of all time. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mark Clattenburg's Generation Alpha breakthrough, the search continues for the origin of "pre-assist", the dubious footballing memory of Paul Scholes, the fascinating name of the Malaysia national team captain, interim popes with Premier League interim managers’ names and Richard Keys in top wind-up form over on BeIN Sports. Meanwhile, the panel decide if a 5-1 aggregate win can ever be a "thrashing" and if a supermarket can have its own "DNA". Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller to pick a lineup of players destined to be subject to the gravitational pull of the Premier League to give it (at least) one more crack in the next few years. The selection process involves some written-off goalkeepers, defenders who will come crawling back from Saudi Arabia, veteran midfielders doing one more season at their hometown club after winning the World Cup for England, Harry Kane’s carefully-planned final assault on Alan Shearer’s goalscoring record, and getting one step ahead of the Darwin Nunez redemption story. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoys some fifth-division Sunday League pyro, Premier League club names in theme park YouTubers, a novel TV approach to denoting home and away fixtures and yet more accidentally musical commentary from Conor McNamara. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Prince William's absurdly highly-acclaimed "punditry", the Premier League club that would produce the most uneventful in-house documentary, the criteria for a team to "roar back" from a losing position, the self-proclaimed inventor of the "pre-assist" and the Cliches pod makes its TikTok debut. Meanwhile, the panel decide if a team can "return to the scene" of a momentous win at their home ground and enjoy the highlights of some gold-standard Keys & Gray output from the weekend. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: A scandalous Sunday League saga, obscure staff members on Transfermarkt, Chris Sutton manufacturing his disapproval for modern footballing jargon, some joyful commentary that only a Niclas Fullkrug header could inspire and improvised electroacoustic albums inspired by injury-plagued former Premier League defenders. Meanwhile, the panel establish the exact practical definition of the verb “to hoick” and decide if a northern-hemisphere domestic league can be allowed to have "apertura" and "clausura" stages. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Kevin De Bruyne greatness fatigue, the concept of "pulling rank" at a set piece, a new low for clickbait football headlines, the indignity of a manager being sacked before they can go down with the ship, several huge problems with the football realism in an ITV detective series and Keys & Gray corner roars back into form. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes the content-creating genius that is Bryan's Gunn - aka Will Powell - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Will's selections are foreign managers picking up English footballing jargon, Chris Wilder's go-to catchprase, the near-extinct art of goalkeepers just booting the ball upfield, and unnecessary modernisation of the FA Cup draw procedure. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel decide how many players constitutes a team "flooding forward" and enjoy some accidentally musical South American commentary. Support the Football vs Hunger campaign at​​ trussell.org.uk/trussellfc Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices