Football Cliches

The 23rd edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on their familiar foes of Bobby, Theo and Eamo from four-time quiz visitors the Career We Go podcast. The questions include: experimental pitch markings, Champions League final losers, solo Prem Portugeezers, Joe-Max Moore’s niche claim to fame, Premier League Dennises, the sound of cult football incidents, incrementally-revealed career paths and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reviewing a perfectly-formed set of FA Cup quarter-finals, Ally McCoist combines three subtly different cliches into one, the technicalities of a "see-saw thriller", a potentially terrible football-chant-based TV game show, England strikers' names in 1980s cartoons, the future prospect of Diego Simeone in the Premier League and the universal potential of the phrase "lost a yard". Meanwhile, the panel get stuck into the newly-launched Premier League Archive, which contains highlights of every single top-flight game since 1992. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Michael Cox to select a lineup of player types that have - temporarily or permanently - gone out of footballing fashion. The selection process takes in truly unhinged goalkeepers, the 20-year heyday of the sweeper, no-nonsense penalty-taking full-backs, the demise of the Premier League own-goal machine, dedicated man-markers, the surprising nuances of the "free role", portly strikers, beanpole strike partners and the long-lost art of poaching. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive episodes and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Dave's Sunday League management rollercoaster, Ben White's surreal Wembley evening, David Moyes's pointless Brazilian alter ego, Henry Winter on The Killers, the fascinating FIFA Series tournament, the crucial differences between "head to head" and "toe to toe", the football shirts of Butlins, the battle for bragging rights in Biggleswade and some above-average fictional football commentary. Meanwhile, the panel fulfil their solemn duty of reflecting on a frankly sensational newspaper interview with Richard Keys. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes Susie Dent, the queen of Countdown's dictionary corner, to examine the language of football in the sort of detail we've always dreamed of. Susie takes us through the ironic death of the word bouncebackability, why aplomb is not quite as glamorous as it might sound, talismans, gilt-edged changes, what it feels like to be a stalwart, lambasts vs tirades, princocks and pavonisers, and what it really means to be "at sixes and sevens". Meanwhile, there's talk of tinpot dictionaries that just can’t compete with the Big Three, Arsene Wenger speaking a language none of us will understand, and could the "iron bucket" become the new "parking the bus"? Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the Carabao Cup final, a yodelling commentator at Craven Cottage, Glenn Hoddle's idiosyncrasies rubbing off on his commentary partner, a borderline “rolling back the years” case study, the rise and rise of Joe “Absolute” Hart, FIFA reveal the most "Super Sunday intro" song ever heard... and Richard Keys’ voice in slapstick megalomaniac cartoon villains. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the GoPro goalkeepers of non-league, the concept of an English fan being really, really into the Australian A-League, the "overhit crossfield pass" apology transaction and a man who thinks he’s cracked the pressing structures of elite football in the 2020s. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel discover David Beckham’s under-reported claim to football history and enjoy the latest Cliches-referencing wrestling commentary from the USA. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the tense early exchanges of Dave's parenthood, Peter Drury resorting to the L-word at the Emirates on Saturday, Max Dowman's World Cup clamour rating, the use of the word "donk" on Match of the Day, the media's gleeful pursuit of an ever-willing Harry Redknapp, some archive Jonathan Pearce audio, Bodo/Glimt's 2025/26 residency in dreamland, great physicist's names in UEFA Conference League scoreboards and the national panic over English sides' struggles in the Champions League knockouts. Meanwhile, the pod announces the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz game, which is available to play at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes the writer, esteemed pintsman and creator of Dead Pubs, Jimmy McIntosh, for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Jimmy's selections are the nuances of watching live games in the pub (feat. Arsenal fans doing the Gyokeres celebration), the pioneering work of sporting director Damien Comolli, British football's aversion to poetic player nicknames, the rise (and potential fall) of "limbs" culture and the logistical nightmare of the half-time stadium pint. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on the subtler elements of Tuesday night's Atletico-Spurs chaos. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a new shade of yellow card is invented, VAR delays in Roman times, legendary goalscorers' names in police documentaries, Neil Warnock's ultra-obscure cultural references in post-match interviews and Richard Keys on Indy 500 hosting duties. Meanwhile, the panel classify each FA Cup fifth-round exit/progression and ponder if someone could ever win player of the month with just a single-game performance. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw. On the agenda: the official start to the business end of the season, Wolves getting people whispering, Evann Guessand's very precise transfer clause, other podcasts adopting the Cliches Way, Benjamin Sesko's windows, Emma Radacanu's Watford coaches and Richard Keys featuring in a sensational URL. Meanwhile, the panel determine the exact criteria for a team to be in “freefall” and which football clubs have the most similar level of prestige as their local university. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes TNT Sports co-commentator Lucy Ward for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Lucy's selections are the joy of young players making their senior debut, fence-perching and megaphone-toting Continental ultras, the post-goal cue for a co-commentator to wax lyrical, the "Ayling Flop" and clubs tenuously claiming youth signings as "one of their own". Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel hear an unexpected pre-penalty shout at Yeovil, ponder a potential technicality in awarding the save of the season, and get mathematical about passes being put on a proverbial "sixpence". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major tournaments. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a quintessentially Scottish football phone-in caller and a listener flags a very niche noise made by a commentator that we will now never be able to ignore. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and, for his 100th appearance, Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the North London derby, the threshold for a team "laying a glove" on the opposition, Champions League commentary with an unexpected voice twin, the concept of “losing the dressing room” handily explained by the BBC, the latest superbly-named Brazilian youth player and a classic Richard Keys interview from the late 1980s. Meanwhile, the panel reveal the real reason that Manchester City pipped Manchester United to the Premier League title in 2012. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Glenn Hoddle suffers the commentator's curse in the Champions League once again, Tony Dorigo's possible claim to an obscure football record, Coventry 3 Middlesbrough 1 boiled down to its purest Gary Weaver, an unexpected return for Gazzetta Football Italia (sort of), and the news of a football-themed Dutch reality TV show. Meanwhile, the panel decide the most acceptable moment and game state for a fanbase to ask their manager to "give them a wave". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Pep Guardiola vs Daffy Duck in a fight for the soul of the FA Cup, whistling co-commentators, footballers’ names in US cop documentaries, Jamie O’Hara and Jason Cundy exceed themselves on Talksport, Michael Owen vs Ryan Giggs in the "Far East betting company ambassador video" stakes and predicting Richard Keys’ next withering managerial nickname. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the most Watfordy Nottingham Forest manager never to manage Watford... and vice versa. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the 500th episode of the podcast. On the agenda: the finer details and ramifications of Thomas Frank being sacked by Spurs, celebrity chefs' names in Premier League goals, superb sponsors in National League clubs’ full-time tweets, Adidas releasing a disgustingly expensive multipack of every World Cup ball ever, the dubious concept of a "ding-dong stalemate", and the least exciting "Winner Stays On" TikTok video football will ever produce. Meanwhile, the panel attempt another scaling of the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder, the ultimate Premier League goalscoring quiz challenge. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Steve Bruce adds a crucial syllable to Pep Guardiola's legacy, gloriously synchronised radio commentary at Derby County, an unlikely candidate to be the new David Attenborough, an all-conquering UK tree qualifies for Europe, and a new use for the much-maligned Stockley Park. Meanwhile, the panel pick apart the confused, "common sense"-obsessed discourse in the aftermath of Liverpool 1 Manchester City 2. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Carabao Cup curiosities, the exact status of Arsenal's quadruple hopes, a very subtle footballing prefix for a certain level of player, two listeners submit their 1,500-word mini-thesis on what constitutes a “finish”, the January Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI and a first-ever attempt at quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds: The Ladder. Meanwhile, the panel react to the bombshell news of Keys & Gray's departure from beIN Sports at the end of this season. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: subtle podcast references at the darts, goal probabilities with Clinton Morrison, West Brom fans' limited patience with their new manager, football boot manufacturers appearing in Latin epic poems, Conor Coady goes full Conor Coady in his first interview as a Charlton player and selecting the best moment of Ian Holloway's latest outburst. Meanwhile, the panel debate the aesthetic and technical merits of scorpion-kick goals and ponder the exact level of their own "ball knowledge". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are Gary Neville's preoccupation with a specific touch of the ball before a shot, the best way to really enjoy an uninterrupted hour of Sky Sports News, the awkwardness of fans sat behind corner takers and a staunch defence of pundits’ right to state the obvious. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel try to decipher an Arsene Wenger sample in avant-garde music and enjoy a former Premier League defender's name popping up at the Cyclocross World Cup. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a quickfire review of Arsenal 2 Manchester United 3, unacceptably-named Premier League top scorers in football-adjacent Danny Dyer film trailers, the prospect of an FA Cup "anthem", 12.1 seconds of a commentator not realising a team have scored and unexpected ex-Prime Ministers in the Kenyan fifth division. Meanwhile, the panel speculate on how a mundane, single-goal, mid-table game could get itself first in the Match of the Day running order. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a familiar name pops up at the Australian Open, Arsene Wenger's "daylight" offside law to be trialled in the Canadian Premier League, what things might be on the curriculum of "Football 101", whether the relentless, scoreline-proof chanting of Bundesliga fans gets too much praise, a charming social-media dispute about the technicalities of hat-tricks and New York mayor Zohran Mamdani shows off his Premier League knowledge once again. Meanwhile, the podcast has an extended chat with Lisa Barros D’Sa and Glenn Leyburn, directors of new film Saipan, and Éanna Hardwicke, who plays the leading role of Roy Keane. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the unifying absurdity that was the Africa Cup of Nations final, whether Spurs vs West Ham's "El Dissatisfactico" is the worst of its genre yet, an unexpected Premier League striker's name in a ghost story, the least satisfying FA Cup draw combinations, one Arsene Wenger tweak to the laws of football that might have some appeal, and footballing body language at bus stops. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the quickest and easiest way a mere civilian could win a foul in a Premier League match. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s the final outing of the winter for Cricket Cliches, the first branch line of the Cliches network, and there’s an end of term feeling as the full team assembles to see us home. We’ve got egregious commentary and a hierarchy of acceptable ways to get out before we get all ASMR and dig into some of your favourite sounds from cricket. And, of course… of course, there’s another dip into the murky, and surprisingly expansive, world of shadow cricket. It’s very much not just batting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Shane Todd on post-save goalkeeper emotions & professional footballer-botherer Rio Ferdinand The pod welcomes comedian and presenter Shane Todd for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Shane's selections are 5-a-side games with fellow comedians, performatively angry post-save goalkeepers, Rio Ferdinand's uncategorisable current line of work, pre-internet transfer news and our collective curiosity with the day jobs of non-league FA Cup heroes. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a tiny slice of pure Pep Guardiola, and hear a charmingly naive football reference in ice hockey commentary. Shane Todd is off on tour in 2026 with his new show Hold Me Back. Tickets available at ShaneToddComedy.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a minor technicality with Cup-upset measuring, the size of the chunk of Antoine Semenyo's fee he had paid back, Scott McTominay's many nicknames, an unacceptable phrase for a team bottom of the table, a four-way footballing dilemma you have absolutely never considered before and Arsenal flops' names in Bruce Springsteen duets, Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Manchester United's legacy machine cranks into gear again, some confusion over the pronunication of Chelsea's new manager, a familiar sound in a mid-90s wrestling arcade game, unlikely common ground between River Plate and Coronation Street's Ken Barlow, a teacher breaks some football news to his class of Year 8s and a relatively deep data dive into Richard Keys’ lesser-known catchphrase. Meanwhile, the panel decide the level of football at which they would simply be a hindrance to their team at right-back. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a whistle-stop tour of the media reaction to Chelsea and Manchester United's managerial upheaval, the Premier League finally unleashes its video archive, Eddie Howe queries the "onslaught" threshold, some quintessential West Hamming, some unprecedented co-commentary homework, hyperlocal derby technicalities, and Richard Keys kicking off his 2026 with an absolute bang. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The fifth outing for the Cricket Cliches crew but are they now set? And what does that mean, anyway? The shadow batting debate intensifies as we enter the second innings; Tickers (and most of the audience) are on #TeamGallen and we’re all checking on our sanity with Internal Athers. There could only be one topic at the centre of our conversation; it’s the strip at the centre of the game. Was the pitch at Melbourne a snake-pit or a minefield, or something else entirely, and is ‘curator’ a bit much for the bloke who cuts the grass? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the freescoring Dominic Calvert-Lewin passes a very particular threshold, Match of the Day exceeds its goalkeeper pundit quota, Joe Cole somehow morphs into Harry Redknapp on the radio, Michael B Jordan renames AFC Bournemouth, absurd salary-cap developments in the USA... and a tree with Richard Keys's voice. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While England self-immolate, Cricket Cliches maintains its admittedly modest run of form in our fourth outing. Aussie commentators Aaron Finch and Adam Gilchrist are taken to task as they play fast and loose… with words. Picking up where we left off with the classification of lower-order runs, we think about the individuals doing the damage. Do you know which end of the bat to hold? Seems like the bare minimum. And, with the help of an impressively-named correspondent, we compare the yin and yang of watching cricket when your team is either batting or bowling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every football pundit ever, condensed into one approximated voice; accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary; last-gasp Cliches Quiz drama; red-card timekeeping technicalities; "Hawk on!", Niclas Fullkrug’s oddly awe-inspiring forehead; Richard Keys and a legendary two-hour livestream; a man called Rudi Voller; solving one of the greatest football TV mysteries of all time; Tom Cruise’s Champions League final punditry; The Agyemang Cacophony; football’s increasingly ludicrous uses of the word “amid”; the Match of the Day intro scandal; Jamie O’Hara vs the RAF, the "Club X til I die" loophole; homegrown stewards and some retro Andy Gray perfection. As Football Clichés showcases the podcast's very best moments of 2025, our thanks to everyone for listening, contributing, subscribing and live-show attending. Bring on 2026... Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are players whose name-based chants sound like they're being booed, the layout of seven-goal thrillers on score apps, the flimsy logic of “but they still had 11 internationals out there” and the unsatisfying spectacle of waiting for a ball to reach the edge of the D in 5-a-side. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a superb tweet-and-blog salvo from Richard Keys. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the media wrestles with what to call the derby between Sunderland and Newcastle, bafflingly-transcribed football chants in match reports, whether both teams can have their "tails up" in quick succession, Harry Wilson and the "human after all" threshold, a football cliché uttered in UK parliament for the very first time and David Moyes not enjoying a wacky question. The interactive Football Cliches Christmas Quiz is streaming live on December 28th — sign up at footballcliches.com/xmas to take part, with £250 the prize for the winning quizzer. All profits will go to Shelter. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Ashes are basically done and dusted after England’s pink ball capitulation. Time for the third session of Cricket Cliches, but is it a tricky little one? Stokes and Baz have been facing the media, maybe the toughest test of all. Is there anything they can say that will help? Don’t think so, champ. What we need is another way to bring a bit of levity to proceedings. No disingenuous protests here, there’s really nothing funnier than a man getting hit in the balls. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's March "send-off" to the World Cup, Clive Tyldesley commentary intonations in Sky Atlantic trailers, a brave radio reporter subverts the “turned provider” classic, some very unthreatening hooligans in a BBC radio drama and Richard Keys’s news in brief. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the "famous old club" threshold and speculate on what would actually happen if Arsenal defender Gabriel just couldn't stop scoring own goals. The interactive Football Cliches Christmas Quiz is streaming live on December 28th — sign up at footballcliches.com/xmas to take part, with £250 the prize for the winning quizzer. All money raised will go to Shelter. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit MedExpress.co.uk to check your eligibility and get 30% off with code CLICHES Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a review of the World Cup draw ceremony, forecasting the nation's TV viewing habits next summer, why Mohamed Salah chose the wrong time and place for his seismic outburst, a dubious recipent of the "bagsman" honour and Dion Dublin invents a new variation on the proverbial goalscoring diet. The interactive Football Cliches Christmas Quiz is streaming live on December 28th — sign up at footballcliches.com/xmas to take part, with £250 the prize for the winning quizzer. All money raised will go to Shelter. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Richarlison’s claims to a niche world record, whether you can "grind out" a 5-4 win, the most "X years of age" age, the latest elite-level mannerism to trickle down to the grassroots, some 24-carat Andy Gray co-commentary gold and much more. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the likeliest circumstances in which Erling Haaland would ever find himself playing in League One. The interactive Football Cliches Christmas Quiz is streaming live on December 28th — sign up at footballcliches.com/xmas to take part, with £250 the prize for the winning quizzer. All money raised will go to Shelter. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A commentator’s curse turns into a mini-saga with no winners, League Two stadium names in viral, overpriced New York delis, Saudi Pro league expert Lee Hendrie invents a new word, the best opposition for Mexico in the opening game at the World Cup, Ben Chilwell on 19th-century Alsatian architecture, some very funny content about Ipswich stewards, and Richard Keys casually slandering the 2019 PFA Player of the Year. Meanwhile, the panel pick apart some tactically implausible fake football commentary in the background on EastEnders. The interactive Football Cliches Christmas Quiz is streaming live on December 28th — sign up at footballcliches.com/xmas to take part, with £250 the prize for the winning quizzer. All money raised will go to Shelter. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices