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Flying Free

Flying Free

395 episodes — Page 6 of 8

Ep 145Dealing with Difficult People During the Holidays [145]

The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider. They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all you never had. Especially in relationships. Maybe they used to be a time of excitement and joy, but now you only feel dread and loneliness and grief. If you find yourself wishing you could sleep until January comes around, or your eyes well up whenever you imagine how miserable these “special” days will be, gather round.This episode is a warm blanket snuggled around your shoulders, a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, and a sweet gift-wrapped dose of hope from me...to you. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Nov 16, 202121 min

Ep 144Doing Deep Internal Healing Through Spiritual Process Groups [144]

“I’ll never heal.”Has that thought crossed your mind?There’s too much pain. Too much trauma stored in your body. Too many horrible memories trapped in your mind. It’s an ocean to cross, and you’re just treading water.You need deep internal healing.So how do you plunge into the depths of your most profound anguish productively and safely?With help from compassionate, well-learned people who’ve been in your shoes and have dedicated themselves to helping women like you. Megan Owen is such a woman. As a trauma counselor, she’s on a mission to provide comprehensive therapy for abuse survivors that brings the deep healing they’ve been seeking. In this episode, Megan answers these weighty questions and more:What are spiritual process groups, and how can I join one?How can theology be thick or thin (and why does it matter)?What do the Wizard of Oz and glass slippers have to do with any of this?Why do we need a baseline for healthy relationships?What are EMDR, IFS, DNMS, and CPTSD (besides a list of acronyms)?Why do people say other therapy didn’t help but her multi-dimensional, community-based approach made all the difference?Who is really excited about all that Megan is doing and wants to get the word out? (It’s me. I’m practically squealing. Listen to the episode for proof.)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:You don’t have to navigate trauma alone. Find hope and healing through Mountain City Christian Counseling.Sign up for spiritual processing groups at the website above or by contacting Casey Chappell.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comMegan is most widely known as the founder of Give Her Wings and Give Her Wings Academy. Since 2012, she has been fully certified as a crisis pastoral counselor (MAR, Pastoral Counseling). After stepping down as executive director for Give Her Wings, Megan turned her sights toward offering trauma therapy and spiritual and relational process groups. She aims to help survivors heal from trauma and abuse and even serve “exvangelicals” who are leaving their church but not their faith. She lives in Denver, Colorado, with her three amazing teens.

Nov 9, 202133 min

Ep 143Three False Beliefs My Abusive Relationship Gave to Me [143]

Imagine carrying around a backpack full of books from high school.You aren’t taking those classes anymore, but you always carry the weight anyway.It digs into your shoulders. It makes you tired. Slows you down. Doesn’t let you truly rest. It keeps others from getting close. Abuse is like that. It teaches us a lot—lessons no one should ever learn. And lessons we don’t even realize we’re still living out. So we may escape abusive relationships, but we’re stuck in limbo, carrying the textbooks we think hold the truth about life, love, and ourselves. Rebecca realized this. She was living out sneaky, destructive beliefs even after her divorce—in her career, her parenting, and in her new marriage. If you want to be truly free from your past, you’ll love the new lessons this episode has to offer:FALSE: Boundaries only matter in unhealthy relationshipsTRUE: Setting boundaries is a critical part of every healthy relationship (and why she avoided doing this in her new marriage for years)FALSE: Everything in a new relationship with a safe, good person will be like a Hallmark movieTRUE: There will still be difficulty, discomfort, and disagreements (but they won’t become atomic bombs)FALSE: Your career and parenting and mental health will be magically perfect and easy after you escape from your abusive marriageTRUE: Recovery is an 18-course banquet, not a drive-thru snack, and you’ll still live on Earth (but these don’t have to be major downers)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Nov 2, 202119 min

Ep 142Four Barriers That Keep Women From Leaving Abusive Relationships [142]

Lydia left her abusive husband.Then she came back.She found the guts to leave him again.And returned another time.In the end, it took SEVEN times for her to get free.If you've been there or if you're wondering whether you'll ever get out too, she's laying it all on the table in this episode.The BEST PART? She's thriving. And she's no longer ashamed of her past. In this raw look at Lydia’s story:The FOUR reasons that kept her from leaving for goodHow she conquered the shame over her broken marriageWhy it was better for her kids to grow up with just one parentThe Bible verse that set her free from condemnation over her divorceWhat punching and floating have to do with the divorce/rebuilding processWhy sexual loneliness is a valid concern when you become single (and how she handled it)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Oct 26, 202136 min

Ep 141When All Your Thoughts Are Despairing and Hopeless [141]

If you're like most Christian women in confusing and painful marriages, you've tried everything.You've read the books, the blogs, the sarcastic memes, and the devotionals.You've paid for counseling, training, seminars, and conferences.You've asked for advice from other couples, your parents, your pastors, friends, and the lady in the check-out line.You've prayed and given up all the fun things to eat and bit your tongue, and read your Bible and journaled, cried, and begged.But your marriage never changes. Or it just gets worse. You're withering. Your life looks like a wasteland. You feel like a shell of a woman. So what's the REAL ANSWER? What's THE ONE THING YOU’RE MISSING?It's simple. It's free. It’s right in front of you. In this hope-filled intervention your weary soul needs:Why you should be looking in the mirror (and it's not to correct yourself)A simple explanation of faith that can radically change your lifeWho your true rescuer is (and why your "rescue" is never over)What to do with thoughts that feel like facts, like: “I'm not loved. I've lost my faith. There's no hope. I've failed. My life was wasted.”How to use your brain to your advantage (even when you're completely overwhelmed)How your ideas about God tangle with your perspective on abuse and yourselfPractical examples from my own life and the lives of the many women I've helpedAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Oct 19, 202141 min

Ep 140How to Achieve Financial Independence After Abuse [140]

Do you picture yourself and your children begging on the streets if you dare to leave?Are you overwhelmed at the thought of making ends meet as a single mom?Do you wonder how you'll pay for groceries, much less legal fees, if you escape?One of the biggest fears for women in abusive marriages is that they won't survive financially.And it's a fear based on a lot of truth. But it's not the final say. Hear from a woman who's been there, done, and literally wrote a book on it. So don't turn back. If you feel financially trapped, this podcast covers:Smart tactics for squirreling away money without escalating the abuse in your relationshipSafe maneuvers to keep the peace while you're preparing to leaveA strategy for keeping the lights on when there's more month than moneyA valuable list of resources for women in your exact situationLydia Dominguez’s story of running, returning, and finding freedom from abuse for goodAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Don’t Turn Back: A Reassuring Road Map to Navigating Divorce after Abuse -Legally, Financially, and Spiritually by Lydia DominguezWomen’s Law: This organization provides legal information and referrals for women in dire straitsThe National Association of Crime Victim Compensation Boards Supports state compensation programs to provide financial aid to victims. Lydia’s websiteIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comLydia Dominguez currently serves as a technical sergeant in the United States Air Force. She also holds a bachelor of arts degree in business management and has ten years of experience in human resources. She relies on more than a decade of personal experience, as well as the stories of others, to educate and encourage abused women to escape their abusers and start the recovery process. During her own twelve-year physical, emotionally, and financially abusive relationship, she attempted to escape seven times. Each time, Lydia was determined never to go back—until she did. After becoming free for good, she wrote Don’t Turn Back, a book she hopes will promote empowerment, healing, and forgiveness for women in abusive relationships.

Oct 12, 202138 min

Ep 139But Didn't I Promise to Stay in Sickness and in Health? What about Mental Illness?m [139]

When you react to your husband’s abuse, it can feel like you’re the abuser.When he tells you how hard his childhood was, you may feel sorry for him.When you read about personality disorders, some of the symptoms fit you.When you read about mental illness, the symptoms also fit him. Which makes you wonder…If your husband was abused, is it really fair to hold his harmful behavior against him? If he has unresolved trauma or a personality disorder, is it wrong to expect him to treat you better? And even more confusing…What if your C-PTSD sometimes mimics a personality disorder? What if your traumatic responses seem abusive? In this episode, I peel back the layers on:· The ingredients of C-PTSD· Who you can save before you become leftovers (it’s only ever one person)· The different flavors of C-PTSD and BPD· Why the reason behind your husband’s behavior matters less than a hill of beans (and what does)· A three-step recipe to recover from abuse in your own lifeAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Oct 5, 202128 min

Ep 138Finding Joy Even When Life Hurts [138]

If your life is already a tough pill to swallow, taking more medicine is the last thing you want to do. Gross. But what if it's the "best medicine"? The type that makes you laugh-cry, hold your sides, and snort with glee.Laughter and joy and humor can transform the darkest days, the bleakest seasons, and the hardest nights. And no matter what you've been through, you really can experience their life-giving power. I talk with prolific laugher, Sara Richmond, about how. The surprising highlights of this prescription:Think you can't laugh and be honest about your pain? Codswallop!Learn how to steal (okay, borrow) laughter on the worst daysWhy surviving a buttload of baloney in your marriage makes you an ideal patient for supreme joyCompletely overwhelmed? Our suggestions: Sing badly, run away, or shriek "Balderdash!" (and what we really mean by self-care during the worst times)How being quirky and weird (or just exactly who you are) is the way to score free joy for lifeA bunch more (because I always overdeliver, from pizza to malarkey to a gaggle of children to my support group)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Sep 28, 202140 min

Ep 137Does God Love You Less Because Your Marriage is Bad? [137]

If your child was starving and asked you for bread, would you make her eat from a dumpster? If your child was dying of thirst and asked for water, would you pour sand down his throat?Are you that child? Starving for safety. And love. And honesty. And help. And tenderness. And dying a little more each day in their absence and their opposites. So why doesn't God treat you like a daughter? Why does he give food and drink and good husbands and happy families to some but to you...only pain?If these questions keep you up at night, this episode is for you. I answer listener questions about:The SURPRISING thing your abusive marriage tells you about GodThe people I DON'T HELP, and what I do insteadWhy TRIGGERS are often less about past trauma and more about CORE BELIEFSHow asking questions about fears (like the fear that your husband and family are spying on your social media posts) is a simple way to BREAK THROUGH themAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Sep 21, 202128 min

Ep 136How Do I Make an Exit Plan? [136]

Getting out of an abusive marriage can seem impossible. Especially when it comes to the money aspect. As in...where will you get it? How will you reenter (or start in) the work force? How are you going to add MORE to your already overflowing plate?And those emotions. The big ones that feel like a thick sludge up to your hips or a pile of wet blankets on top of you or a deep, aching hollow in your chest. How do you deal with those?Dear one, it's not easy, but it is simple. I’ve traveled this way before—alone and with others. So let me share my road map. This episode paves a path to:· The proof that knowing all the “hows” (as in, how in the heck is all this going to work out) isn't necessary· What learning to drive has to do with all of this · Why I don't tell survivors what to do while still giving them precise, tried-and-true advice· A way to OWN your valid, real, big emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them· How your healing ignites all the practical things you haven’t figured outAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Sep 14, 202129 min

Ep 135Is the Bible Against Women? [135]

It took 11 words to change the world. 11 words misinterpreted. 11 words misunderstood. 11 words manipulated. A single sentence from the mouth of God to the first woman...Eve. A pronouncement. A prediction. A curse. Or was it?Do you know these words? Prepare yourself. Because you’re about to learn their TRUE meaning. It might blow. your. mind. And it will change the world...again. Why this episode is a must listen:The What: Bruce’s wife spent seven years researching her doctoral dissertation on 11 words. He followed with his own research on correlating New Testament verses. The Why: How your understanding of those 11 words affects your view of women, men, God, and your entire existence.The Are You Kidding Me?: A clear, precise explanation of those 11 words. You may scream. You may dance. You may fist pump several times. You may run around the block screaming incoherently. It’s that good. WARNING: Bring an extra pair of socks. Because this episode is going to blow them clean off. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:If this podcast made you hungry for more, join listeners in 57 countries: The Eden PodcastBruce’s book: “The Book of Eden, Genesis 2-3: God Didn’t Curse Eve (or Adam) or Limit Woman in Any Way (The Eden Book Series)”The Tru3:16 project was started to correct manipulated Bible interpretations. Check it out.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comBruce C. E. Fleming is a former academic dean and professor of practical theology in French-speaking Africa. He is the author of “The Book of Eden, Genesis 2-3,” founder of the True316 Project, and host of The Eden Podcast\. He hopes to change marriages and the world with the discoveries he’s made about the true meaning in the Genesis story and the Bible, generally.

Sep 7, 202154 min

Ep 134What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part Two [134]

Was there a day when you realized he was doing it all on purpose? After all your tears, your pleading, and explanations, there was no way you could keep excusing his behavior. His explanations didn’t fly. You knew you didn’t hold the blame. Maybe he finally, actually admitted it.As painful as that realization is, it’s also your secret weapon—knowledge that can empower you.Sound crazy? In Part 2 of 2, What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You, I’ll prove it.This episode covers:The Drama Llama: Where he goes, chaos and division follow. Learn how to put out fires without a hose (or more stress)The Silver Tongue: Knowing you can’t trust your husband at all doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about itThe Funnel: His narrow perspective leads to rigid practices and perspectives. Learn how to avoid becoming a human fossil along with him The Déjà Vu: The thing you hate the most (that nothing ever changes) is actually an advantage—what you can predict, you can plan forThe Leech: Is your marriage sucking you dry? Learn how to get your lifeblood backAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Aug 31, 202123 min

Ep 133What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part One [133]

You are married to a bully. If only he'd steal your lunch money or call you a dingus during math class and be done with it.Instead, he makes everything into a torturous game with changing rules that benefit one person. Himself. On the really bad days, you want to learn karate and get featured on the evening news.Take heart, sweet potato. There's a better way. I've graphed his sleazy points and made a road map for dealing with his shenanigans. Fair warning: It's gonna take guts but it will be well worth it. And you won't even need karate. Your road map includes:The reason your fear that you are abusive is COMPLETE COCKAMAMY 5 common things abusers do (you’re likely dealing with these on an unending loop)How he’s like an 11-year-old and you’re like a computer program5 brilliant ways to respond that will CHANGE not just your marriage but YOUR ENTIRE LIFEAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Aug 24, 202121 min

Ep 132Survivor Story: Marie [132]

The length of your marriage. You’ll never forget it. 3 years of holes in the wall. 9 years of sleepless nights. 17 years of pleading. 25 years of silence. 43 years of lowering your standards again and again and again. While the past can't be changed, and that time is set, your recovery is NOT. It has NO LIMIT. It has NO TIMELINE. The depth of your pain and suffering do not outweigh your ability to heal. It all comes down to whether you want it. The evidence? Women like Marie. She found healing and transformation in community—one that's available to you. The Takeaways of Marie’s Story:What’s more important: How busted up you are or how much you want healingWhy acting like an accountant can speed up your healingThe reason your recovery can stagnate...and what to do about itWhy there’s an application process for the Flying Higher group (it has to do with the toilet)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Aug 17, 202148 min

Ep 131What I Would Preach to the Modern Day Preachers (if they would listen...) [131]

Have you ever talked to people who weren't there? Imagined conversations in your head? Perfected your argument while showering or lying in bed?I did that...and made it into a podcast. But this conversation isn't with just one person. It's with tens of thousands of people. Pastors. Because the survivor community knows the price of patriarchy in the church. We know the cost of being controlled. We know the damage of being devalued. And pastors NEED to KNOW this too. If they'd only listen, I'd tell pastors:How they create a cycle of shame and perfectionismPeople's fundamental motivation for change (and why it matters in abusive situations)Their view of women is an open invitation for oppressionWhy their treatment of people (and approach to ministry) show how anti-Jesus and faithless they areThe profound and simple FOUR-LETTER ANSWER to all of these problems (and they've been staring at it without seeing it)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Aug 10, 202124 min

Ep 130What You Need to Know When You Leave [130]

Your marriage was like a jigsaw puzzle. A big, confusing, fragmented mess. Once you found the "abuse" piece, everything fell into place. But are you prepared for what happens when you leave? Cause the gloves come off and the rulebook gets tossed out the window. From two women who've been there and who've heard countless stories of the same, here's the cheat sheet for what you need to know when you get out. This playbook includes:Rules of the "Game": Insight into what your husband's "normal" behavior will be (and by "normal" we mean crazy but predictable)Strategy: A tried and true response method to his behavior (it's the most boring, fabulous thing ever)Recovery Tips: Why you should treat yourself like a fuzzy little cat during this time (truckloads of compassion and flexibility...and maybe treats)Inside Secrets: There's another person who's been abusing you beside your husband (and you can't get away from them!)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Aug 3, 202143 min

Ep 129Why Hanging on to Hope in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship Doesn't Work [129]

"Till death do us part." Those words haunt you. The enemy was supposed to be outside of your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away. But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to.And he's counting on it. You need to listen if:You're overcome with desperation to leave and consumed by guilt to stayYour husband is the greatest source of pain and harm in your lifeYou are responsible for everything, and you are constantly sacrificing your physical health, life dreams, and sanity to make your marriage work (to no avail)You've begun to wonder just how much of his behavior is intentional and whether he truly wants to destroy you, piece by pieceAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here* *Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman 1990. Copyright Guilford Press. Reprinted with permission of The Guilford PressIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jul 27, 202117 min

Ep 128Is the Cost to Leave an Abusive Marriage Worth It? [128]

Why are you staying in your abusive marriage? For many women, the price to get free seems too high. They fear destitution, losing their children, revenge by their husband, more trauma and heartache, a scarlet "D" on their chests, the legal hassle...the list goes on. These are real, valid fears. And terribly high, but prevalent, costs. Which raise the question: Is it worth it?Amie experienced all of these things and more to get out. Listen to her story and decide for yourself. This podcast includes:How the Bible was used to FORCE Amie to marry her abuserThe SECRET her husband kept from her for years (ALERT: withholding information IS abuse)Why she stayed for so long even as her health broke downThe heartbreaking trauma she endured from her church, her children, her ex-husband, and multiple counselorsWhere she is today and whether it was worth it (The MOST IMPORTANT part of this incredible story)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jul 20, 202149 min

Ep 127My Three Biggest Mistakes When Getting Away From Emotional Abuse Part Two [127]

If it's true that we learn from our mistakes, then I know a whole heck of a lot. This episode, Part 2 of 2, is about the mistakes I made in church — the three main ways I lit myself on fire, with the encouragement of church leaders. All while trying to escape the inferno of an abusive marriage.Confused? Horrified? Thirsty?Then tune in. Cause it's tea time, and I'm pouring. Check out these fire starters:Never expose yourself to other learning/beliefs/opinions beside church or church leaders (Don't you DARE think for yourself!)Treat church leaders like they are God (They're ALWAYS right)Believe you are trash (Cause that's what a loving Father wants his precious daughter to do. Duh.)Wash, rinse, and repeat for ultimate cleansing (I did for years, and it nearly killed me.)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jul 13, 202124 min

Ep 126My Three Biggest Mistakes When Getting Away From Emotional Abuse Part One [126]

Put your stretchy pants on, cause this episode's a three-course dinner on what NOT to do once you realize your marriage is a hamster wheel of emotional abuse. These three mistakes caused me greater pain, for much longer. But I didn't know then what I know now. Because when we KNOW differently, we DO differently. And that's what Flying Free is all about.Dig in to:Unconscious messages I ingested that made me think abusive behavior was normal and even lovingWhy I tried to feed a dead marriage (and the not-obvious-to-me-at-the-time reasons that didn't work)A fork in the road: The two choices I never realized I hadThe potluck approach to decision-making that I no longer take (I stay in my own kitchen now)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jul 6, 202124 min

Ep 125How Pretending and Fear Keep You Stuck in abuse cycles (and what sets you free) [125]

Abusers are terrified. They mask their fear with rage, manipulation, false piety, and good ole-fashioned bullying. If they're actually weak, scared babies, how are they so powerful and unchecked in churches (and in marriages)? Because you're afraid too. And you're also really good at pretending. All while being destroyed. It doesn't have to be this way anymore, and I can show you how...to fly free. In today's episode, listen to learn:How the pattern of your destructive marriage isn't just physical—it's mirrored in your brain's perception of realityWhy FEAR prevents us from living a life of love (which heals and protects us)How PRETENDING prevents us from walking in the truth (which sets us free)The BEST RESOURCE I know of for survivors desperate for a life of truth, healing, freedom, joy, and love (don't take it from me; read all the reviews from real survivors)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jun 29, 202121 min

Ep 124Emotional Abuse Survivor Q&A [124]

If my husband has a mental health issue or a personality disorder, does that excuse his abusive behavior? My husband isn’t the typical abuser; is my marriage actually abusive or just bad? Am I wrong for wanting privacy that my husband demands I should give up? How will I know for sure that my abuser has changed? Since I’ve made the decision to stay in my marriage for now, how can I grow while doing so? I answer these questions and more in this episode. This is a replay of a Q&A done in the Flying Free Sisterhood program. One of the many life-changing benefits of this group is the ability to have your questions answered in a monthly Q&A, weekly during coaching, and every day in the private forum.Listen to learn:The boundaries you can (and SHOULD) still have if your husband has a diagnosisThough you aren’t a computer, your programming is behind all of these questions, and the answersWhat parroting is (it has nothing to do with birds)Why rocking the boat should be your favorite pastime with a “reformed” abuserThe problem with ALL of these questions (it’s their FOCUS)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jun 22, 202135 min

Ep 123The Big Problem with Christian Marriage Counseling [123]

Love lets evil do whatever it wants, pretends nothing's happened, and calls a prison a palace. Right? This is the kind of "biblical" message Christian counselors often tout. And it's killing women and children, whether all at once or piece by precious piece. If you've been hurt by "love," especially when you were desperate for help and safety, you've got an advocate in Cindy Burrell.Strap in because this episode is loaded with truth bombs:Why abusers have the automatic advantage in most Christian counselingA big, red flag at a counselor's office (when you see it, RUN)Why "Can he change?" is the WRONG question, and, frankly, irrelevant when it comes to abusersTwo things that will bring out the truth, GUARANTEED (Hint: One is a simple, two-letter word)Why the sanctity of marriage is not built on the absence of divorceAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Reformulating the Christian Marriage Counseling Model Where Abuse Is Involved by Cindy BurrellAn Extraordinary Ordinary Life: A Testimony of God’s Faithfulness by Cindy BurrellIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comCindy is a survivor of a 20-year marriage to a verbal and emotional abuser, the mother of four adult children, and now married to Douglas Burrell. In 2009, she and her husband founded Hurtbylove.com, a web-based outreach ministry for women in abusive relationships. She is the author of approximately 100 articles on the abuse dynamic as well as several books. Her newest book, Reformulating the Christian Marriage Counseling Model Where Abuse Is Involved, was written to educate victims so they can pick wise, helpful counseling that will lead them toward true healing and freedom. Cindy also offers personal coaching for victims of abuse.

Jun 15, 202131 min

Ep 122Is it Possible to Stay Well in an Abusive Marriage? [122]

You've got two options and you HATE them both. You know you're married to an abuser, but you DON'T want a divorce. So...you're staying.But will you be consumed by your husband's reckless hate? Can you and Jesus be enough in the years to come? Will healing happen in the midst of destruction? Can you survive staying married and, what's more, thrive? Is it even possible to stay well in an abusive marriage?In this episode, I discuss: How staying well is completely subjective (and some clear examples of what it may mean/may not mean FOR YOU)Why there's only ONE place where you need to look for an answerMy own story of staying well...and leavingAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jun 8, 202122 min

Ep 121Finding Your Personal Style After Years of Emotional Abuse [121]

Ugly. Fat. Frumpy. Gross. These words ache inside of you and echo in your mind. Maybe they were said to you, maybe they were shown to you, maybe society planted them in your mind. Recovering from abuse isn't just about healing the inside, it's about manifesting life on the outside. You were created to embody beauty and appreciate it — in your smile, with your clothes, your hair style, even the makeup you choose to wear — and Jill Swanson is an expert in helping women do just that.In this light-hearted podcast, learn:The secret to why I look so cute (HINT: It's because of Jill)Why caring about your clothes/hair/using makeup is NOT SHALLOW or UNBIBLICALWhat covers a multitude of sins? Clothes!How to use what your mama and the good Lord gave you (don't worry, it's G-rated)REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES of how/why color coordination makes a huge differenceThe heartbreak that led Jill to develop her beauty know-how and start a business helping womenAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Work with JillSimply Stylish — Look Great, Spend Less! by Jill Swanson30-Day Makeover — Inside and Out Beauty/Bible Study programOut the Door in 15 Minutes — How to Look Fabulous Fast by Jill Swanson20% off discount code for her website: Use CHIC20If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comJill Swanson is a Christian image/style consultant whose passion is to help women feel good about themselves and the way God created them – on the inside and out. Jill understands the second-guessing and insecurity that many of us experience when we look in the mirror. Her goal is to see women blossom as they step into their lives with newfound confidence. With an emphasis on simplicity and affordability, she helps women make the most of what they’ve got, effortlessly, everyday! Jill is the author of several books, including Simply Stylish — Look Great, Spend Less! and the newly released 30 Day Makeover — Inside and Out.

Jun 1, 202136 min

Ep 120Finding a Healthy Partner After Divorce [120]

Ever feel like the human version of a fly trap, attracting all the wrong guys? You've escaped one horrible relationship only to find yourself being taking advantage of by a new creep or a long string of them. So, what's the key to flipping your magnetic force so you repel toddlers in grown-up bodies and attract only real men? The secret isn't a dating app, compatibility algorithm, or a 75-step checklist. In fact, it isn't anything outside of you at all. Finding real love after divorce is as much about educating, choosing, and empowering yourself as it is discovering a healthy partner. If you're hankering for the real deal, hit play to learn: FIVE facts that will help you identify emotionally stunted/harmful men so you can stay the heck awayWhy Christian women are the perfect candidates for abusive relationships (through no fault of their own)What an emotionally mature man looks likes (yes, they really do exist)Validation for women who have no interest in a relationship—EVER againThe formula for moving on after abuse (that DOESN'T EXIST, but it is a beautiful process in which you do have the driver's seat)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

May 25, 202124 min

Ep 119How I Encouraged an Abusive System with My Silence and Submission [119]

From husbands as masters to pimps as owners, women were made to be dominated. Meghan saw it firsthand in third-world countries through the practice of female genital mutilation. She saw it in missionary organizations that refused to let women lead. She saw it in her own story. What we believe about gender roles affects every area of our lives and every corner of the Earth.The answer to this widespread abuse? A place where faith and feminism meet. In my interview with Meghan, we discuss:How everything from barring women from preaching to trafficking them for sex is based on the SAME DAMAGING BELIEFSThe moment that broke her heart wide open and led to a dramatic change in her life, faith, and workWhy there's NEVER a good time to speak up against injustice (so she just does it anyway)How/why a marriage with EQUAL partners works (though many churches will tell you they don't exist or shouldn't happen) Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Women Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice by Meghan TschanzFaith and Feminism PodcastMeghan Tschanz’s WebsiteIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comMeghan Tschanz is a writer, speaker, and former missionary who is passionate about empowering women and reclaiming feminism for the Christian faith. She’s a prolific blogger, host of the Faith and Feminism podcast, and an avid traveler. She and her husband, Dustin, live in northeast Georgia.

May 18, 202141 min

Ep 118Why Relationships Are Complicated for Survivors and How to Unhook from Relationship Drama [118]

Living in abusive environments doesn’t just harm our hearts, bodies, and souls, it also wrecks our ability to have healthy relationships. When all you know (or most of what you know) is unhealthy, navigating friendships, family, romance, and even relationships with other survivors can be messy, confusing, and painful. I answer a listener question about the challenges of relationships after abuse and how survivors can break out of toxic patterns that helped them survive the past but aren’t serving them now.In this episode:Why you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t in an abusive relationship (but that doesn’t apply in healthy ones)Which things you need to GIVE UP and which things you need to TAKE BACK to live in freedom, clarity, and peaceThe critical difference between criticism and feedback (and why both are so difficult for survivors)A mind-blowingly easy technique to reprogram your brain out of negative thought patterns (which are the BIGGEST REASON you feel stuck and miserable and afraid)Some simple, overarching truths about this entire process. Hint: It’s all about YOU in the best way, and there’s no rush Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

May 11, 202135 min

Ep 117Consent in Christian Marriage: Why Your "No" Feels Confusing [117]

Sex is a Catch-22 for you. If you say "yes," it's out of obligation. You feel used, disgusting, disconnected, and sad afterward. If you say "no," you pay for it, 10x over...or he does what he wants to anyway, to you or with something/someone else.So do you really have the right to say "no" to your husband, or are you stuck in a marriage that is really just domination...and a body that you can't even call your own?Author and survivor Jessica Ghigliotti and I discuss this hot topic, including:A clear definition of consentWhy it's such a toxic, confusing issue in many Christian marriagesThe TEN most common things abusive/coercive husbands SAY and DO about consent (This list will blow your mind with clarity/truth bombs)Questions women can start asking themselves if they think they might be in a sexually abusive marriageAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Jessica’s book: Ten Things Your Husband Says After He Rapes YouIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comJessica Ghigliotti is an Oklahoma girl, mom of 4, contributing writer for 2 “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books, a newly published author, small business owner, college student, and a survivor.

May 4, 202142 min

Ep 116Can Emotionally Abusive Marriages Be Restored? [116]

Some people believe that if your goal is to help people get free from abusive relationships, you can't really love and honor marriage. Many people believe true Christians go to church regularly and always read their Bibles. Most people want easy, clear-cut answers to their difficult, personal questions. But there is no one-size-fits-all approach to faith, marriage, or life. And that's not a bad thing or a cop-out. Want to hear more? In this episode, I field listener questions:Why do I ONLY focus on “breaking up” marriages?Do I care AT ALL about reconciliation or restoration of marriages?What’s my take on BEING SURE you’ve found a good church and a safe Bible translation?Which books do I DEFINITELY recommend for women in abusive marriages?Which relationship books should abused women ALWAYS avoid? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Apr 27, 202131 min

Ep 115How to Become Toxic Person Proof [115]

Women who've escaped abusive relationships often become stuck in the healing process. Trauma has disconnected them from their bodies. They obsess over information that explains the pain they've been through. The dreams they had for their life still seem out of reach. They are plagued by self-doubt and self-hatred. Everything still revolves around the past, and their exes. Sarah Ramsey, a toxic relationship expert and author of Becoming Toxic Person Proof: Clear the Confusion and Learn to Trust Yourself, guides women through strength-based healing so they can recreate themselves and build lives that they love!In this episode, I interview Sarah about:The importance of remembering WE ARE HUMANHow the language we use adds or removes toxic shameWhy abused women are actually high achieversHow to combine your natural strengths AND savviness to protect yourself in the futureWhy your abuser's diagnosis won't help and doesn't matterThe basic steps to healing so you can live a life you're excited about!Sarah K. Ramsey is a Toxic Relationship Specialist, author of the book Becoming Toxic Person Proof, and host of The Toxic Person Proof podcast. She works with women who have experienced toxic relationships to transform their minds and lives by taking back their power, recreating a life they are excited about living, and establishing careers and relationships they love. Her work has been featured in the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit, Healing Narcissistic Trauma Conference, Thrive Global, The Elephant Journal, and The Courageous Woman Summit. Contact Sarah at [email protected] the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Becoming Toxic Person Proof: Clear the Confusion and Learn to Trust Yourself by Sarah Ramsey with FREE BONUS access to 50+ hours of content from her Valentine’s Day Summit with leading faith-based coaches. Email Sarah at [email protected] after buying her book to receive the Summit!FREE MASTERCLASS: The Systematic Strategy High-Achieving Women Use to Find Peace, Love, and Confidence After a Toxic RelationshipHer website with access to free e-book “Bounce Back Better”If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comSarah K. Ramsey is a Toxic Relationship Specialist, author of the book Becoming Toxic Person Proof, and host of The Toxic Person Proof podcast. She works with women who have experienced toxic relationships to transform their minds and lives by taking back their power, recreating a life they are excited about living, and establishing careers and relationships they love. Her work has been featured in the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit, Healing Narcissistic Trauma Conference, Thrive Global, The Elephant Journal, and The Courageous Woman Summit. Contact Sarah at [email protected].

Apr 20, 202142 min

Ep 114Staying Connected to Our Kids Post-Divorce [114]

Christian women facing divorce experience tremendous fear around how to protect their children and help them heal.In today's episode, I answer listener questions about staying connected to your kids post-divorce, how to handle parental alienation, a healthy approach to decision-making, figuring out if your husband is really changing, and more! In this episode, learn:Why making tough decisions doesn't have to scare you.The most important thing you can do for your kid(s) in an abusive situation.The reasons rejection can be one of the best things that ever happens to us. The ONE WAY you can be sure your husband is actually changing. How I help women in tough situations like these every day in my group coaching programs, Flying Free (for women in abusive marriages) and Flying Higher (for divorced women). Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Apr 13, 202125 min

Ep 113Building Resilience in Children Who Have Experienced Coercive Control [113]

Whether you've escaped your abusive marriage or not, your children bear the marks of a toxic home environment. They may even have to see their abuser on a regular basis, through scheduled visitation. Which raises the question: How do we keep our kids from further harm and teach them to protect themselves when home, the very place they are supposed to be safest, is damaging to their bodies, minds, and souls? Dr. Debra Wingfield explains how consistency, resilience, social competency, boundaries, responsibility, and even imagination have a role in helping children to thrive, despite the challenges of an abusive home.Listen to learn:A simple question and several easy approaches to help kids stay protected emotionally and physically while they're around an abusive parent.How resilience skills are critical for keeping kids safe and empowering them to advocate for themselves in the long term.Why parenting with love and logic will actually free you from fear, stress, and a lot of drama, and greatly improve your connection with your kids.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Eyes Wide Open: Help! with Control Freak Co-Parents by Debra WingfieldFrom Darkness to Light: Your Inner Journey by Debra WingfieldThrough a Child’s Voice by Debra WingfieldIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comDebra Wingfield, Ed.D., LPC (retired) educated psychotherapists in small group trainings and university classrooms for over 15 years. She was in private practice for over 20 years, with a focus on treating adult children from dysfunctional families; child abuse victims; domestic violence victims, offenders, and child witness victims. She presented trainings, conferences, workshops, and classroom courses in domestic violence intervention/treatment and addictions related to domestic violence. Her up-to-date courses and training workshops are now available virtually.

Apr 7, 202131 min

Ep 112Practical Help for Christian Women in Confusing and Painful Marriages [112]

We offer a ton of free resources to help Christian women feel some hope and like they aren’t alone in their painful marriages.But do you know where I personally show up every week to answer the deeper questions from individuals? To coach women on their specific problems? To teach classes and create new workshops and offer in-depth interviews with experts and survivors? To help women of faith create life-changing shifts in their minds and lives?Not on social media. Not on my public blog. And not on this podcast.I do that in my private Flying Free Sisterhood program.In this episode, we sit down for tea (I’ll tell you my favorites — and HERE is a coupon for 20% off August Tea), and I share why a comprehensive program where you will be intensely supported and loved and educated is going to 10X your hope and healing in ways nothing else has ever worked before. (I’m not exaggerating either!)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Mar 30, 202131 min

Ep 111Has God Abandoned Emotional Abuse Survivors in the Church? [111]

Our questions are based on our beliefs. “God did nothing to prevent my abuse. Should I trust him for anything?” “Since separation, I have begun to avoid the Bible, church, and spiritual stuff. Where do I go from here?” “My church kicked me aside after my divorce. How do I find a safe one?” When our life falls apart, our beliefs are challenged. This process is often scary, confusing, and painful. It’s called deconstruction, and Stacey Wynn specializes in guiding people through it. Join Natalie and Stacey as they examine the beliefs behind these listener questions and the surprising way forward from all of them.In this episode, learn about:How differently our deconstruction journeys can look (which is perfectly okay)A way to reframe the hard questions while still being honest with yourself and GodThe freedom that’s found in the tension of “not-knowing” and how you can trust and embrace this processHow deconstruction can lead to a deeper, stronger faithAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Mar 23, 202147 min

Ep 110Untwisting the Bible on Authority and Patriarchy [110]

In some Christian circles, the Bible is misused in order to control and neutralize half of the human race through a human construct called Patriarchy. In this interview with Rebecca Davis, we talk about what Patriarchy is, how it destroys women and families, and why it is not something the Bible promotes — but rather exposes. This episode is for women who:Feel like the Bible has only ever been used as a weapon to harm them.Wonder what Patriarchy is and how it has influenced their thinking and faith communities.Can’t understand why they, often willingly and joyfully, bought into a system based on lies and abuse.Wish they could strip away all the religious B.S. and discover peace, safety, and the real Jesus. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Untwisting Scriptures: Patriarchy and Authority Book 2Untwisting Scriptures That Were Used to Tie You Up, Gag You, and Tangle Your MindRebecca’s blogIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comRebecca Davis is a writer, blogger, speaker, wife, mother, grandmother, friend, advocate for the oppressed, and lover of Jesus who lives in Greenville, South Carolina. She’s published multiple books on the topic of patriarchy, faith, prayer, and abuse in the church, and also works as a trauma-informed editor and book coach.

Mar 16, 202132 min

Ep 109Is it My Fault Our Marriage Is Bad? [109]

Guilt is killing you. Shame is overwhelming you. Fear is crippling you. You can hardly think straight. The horror of your daily married life is mirrored by the agony within you. Natalie draws from her own story—the pains and the triumphs—to answer two listener questions from women just like you. These women have taken all the blame, and struggle with knowing their true responsibility—whether their bad marriage, and all the fallout from it, are really their fault. Spoiler alert: They're not, and there's even more good news where that came from.Listen in to hear:The benefit (and one significant risk) survivors have in tossing aside the blame for other people's behavior.Your true responsibility and theirs (responsibility never sounded so good or so freeing!).The choices you have to take back your life (whether from inside or outside of your marriage), heal, and fly free!Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Mar 9, 202127 min

Ep 108The Great Sex Rescue [108]

What if it’s not your fault that sex is bad in your marriage?Based on a groundbreaking in-depth survey of 22,000 Christian women, The Great Sex Rescue unlocks the secrets to what makes some marriages red hot while others fizzle out. Generations of women have grown up with messages about sex that make them feel dirty, used, or invisible, while men have been sold such a cheapened version of sex, they don’t know what they’re missing. The Great Sex Rescue hopes to turn all of that around, developing a truly biblical view of sex where mutuality, intimacy, and passion reign.The Great Sex Rescue pulls back the curtain on what is happening in Christian bedrooms and exposes the problematic teachings that wreck sex for so many couples–and the good teachings that leave others breathless. In the #metoo and #churchtoo era, not only is this book a long overdue corrective to church culture, it is poised to free thousands of couples from repressive and dissatisfying sex lives so that they can experience the kind of intimacy and wholeness God intended.Sheila Wray Gregoire is a popular speaker, marriage blogger, and the author of eight books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She loves encouraging women in their relationships, both with God and with their husbands, children, and friends. Her passion is for marriage, and she and her husband Keith speak together at marriage outreaches and at FamilyLife Canada marriage conferences. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women, and couples, can face. You can usually find her in Belleville, Ontario, where she’s constantly texting her two young adult daughters and knitting. Preferably simultaneously.Warning: The subject of this episode is sex and may contain content inappropriate for children. In this episode you’ll discover:Why Sheila and her team decided to do such a massive study of over 20,000 Christian women.Some of the harmful messages found in best-selling Christian marriage books that have caused the greatest damage in the lives of women.What God’s original plan for sex in marriage actually was and how far the evangelical church has strayed from that plan. Which Christian marriage book got a score of ZERO out of 48 in a rubric that measures healthy human sexuality. (And guess what? It’s the number one Christian marriage book on the market!) Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: “The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended”Sheila’s blog: “Bare Marriage”“The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex”If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comSheila Wray Gregoire is a popular speaker, marriage blogger, and the author of eight books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She loves encouraging women in their relationships, both with God and with their husbands, children, and friends. Her passion is for marriage, and she and her husband Keith speak together at marriage outreaches and at FamilyLife Canada marriage conferences. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women and couples can face. You can usually find her in Belleville, Ontario, where she’s constantly texting her two young adult daughters and knitting, preferably simultaneously.

Mar 2, 202138 min

Ep 107If There Is a Loving and Powerful God, Why Does He Allow Abuse? Part Two [107]

In this continuation of Episode 105, Natalie discusses the different stories we tell ourselves to explain abuse and oppression in the world. You'll learn how to question these stories, how to discover the results these stories create in the world, and she'll give you some new ways of thinking about the problem that allow God to be both loving and powerful even in the midst of abuse and oppression. If you're feeling confused and afraid of your Creator, this episode will be like a tall glass of water in a desert land. This episode builds on Part One, so listen to that one first! Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Feb 23, 202128 min

Ep 106Interview with Judge Tim Fall on Fairness for Victims of Abuse [106]

When you're surrounded by injustice, it's easy to believe that's all the future holds for you, that's all family court holds for you. You wonder if there is any fairness for victims of abuse. Judge Tim Fall stands as a contrast. Inside the courtroom, his rule is based on equitable and fair hearings for all. Outside the courtroom, he is an advocate for women and marginalized people groups. His interview provides encouraging evidence of the growing visibility of domestic violence, the methods judges use to make determinations, and the hope you can have that justice is not dead.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Follow Tim on TwitterHis book: Running for Judge: Campaigning on the Trail of Despair, Deliverance, and Overwhelming SuccessDiscount link: https://wipfandstock.com/9781725260870/running-for-judge/ (Discount code: JUDGE40)If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comTim is a California native who changed his major three times, colleges four times, and took six years to get a bachelor’s degree in a subject he’s never been called on to use professionally. Married for over 30 years with two grown kids, he says his family is constant evidence of God’s abundant blessings in his life. He and his wife live in Northern California.

Feb 16, 202150 min

Ep 105If There is a Loving and Powerful God, Why Does He Allow Abuse? Part One [105]

Why does God allow injustice and oppression? Survivors have to wrestle with this question when they lose their families, their freedoms, their children, their finances, their homes, and their churches. What kind of God allows wickedness to prevail while victims suffer alone? In this episode Natalie talks about five different ways of believing about God and how each belief is a different choice that creates a different result in our lives and the lives of those around us. If you have ever felt a growing despair as your faith wobbles and shakes in the face of abuse, this episode will offer your heart and mind a safe place to land. This is Part One of a two-part series. Part Two will be presented in Episode 107. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Feb 9, 202137 min

Ep 104How Do I Heal After Abuse and Sexual Betrayal? [104]

It's the deepest form of betrayal you've ever imagined or experienced. In fact, you may have denied the truth for years, because the pain of reality was too devastating. It's destroyed your view of God, men, and family. If you're wondering "How do I heal from sexual and spiritual abuse?" your first step is to start with the truth of how you've been harmed. Acknowledging the very reality you denied to protect yourself is what will begin your journey of freedom, healing, and restoration. In today's podcast: -The importance and power of honesty in a survivor's recovery process-The actual purpose of confrontation with toxic/abusive people-The real meaning of your anger and hatred of God for what you've endured (it's actually beautiful, valid, and acceptable)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Read Rochelle’s blogConnect with Rochelle on FacebookIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comRochelle Sadie, M.Ed., is a life long learner and truth seeker, completely humbled by God’s grace and kindness. Some of her greatest joys include laughing with true friends, snuggling with her dogs, hiking a scenic trail, and finding a deal at the local thrift shop! You can usually find her reading about all things recovery, healing, and hope! She passionately leads betrayal trauma support groups in the Minneapolis, MN area for women who have been devastated by the effects of their partner’s sexual addiction. She also offers one-on-one coaching for women beginning their journey to joy and beauty after abuse and sexual betrayal.

Feb 2, 202146 min

Ep 103Christian Women Who Actually Care About Other Christian Women [103]

You've been promised help in your destructive marriage and recovery hundreds of times. How many of those delivered? What if you could see and hear proof before you invested in a program that offers life-changing coaching, support, community, and resources? Three women talk about their progression from victims to survivors to helping others get free — becoming Christian women who care about other Christian women.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jan 26, 202126 min

Ep 102What Life Can Look Like for Christian Women After a Divorce [102]

Has another year passed by of the same hurt, the same torment, and the same questions? You want to change your story but you're stuck. Have you been wondering whether Flying Free or Flying Higher is your next step? Two women share their stories of discovering these groups and the myriad ways their lives changed for the better. From learning what narcissism and emotional abuse are to what life can look like for a Christian women after divorce, Stacey and Robin tell how they've grown, healed, and found safe community through the Flying Free Sisterhood. Don't let any more time pass without investing in your healing and your future. Your life isn't over; your story isn't over; you are not irredeemably broken. Stacey and Robin are living proof. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here This episode is your chance to hear:Raw, powerful examples of how Flying Free and Flying Higher help women just like youThe specific differences between the two groups (and how they fit perfectly with the natural progression of a survivor's journey)How to get on the waiting lists so YOU can start Flying Free or Flying Higher If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jan 20, 202136 min

Ep 101How Do I Deal with Emotional Triggers? [101]

One of the most satisfying and helpful things for survivors of emotional and spiritual abuse is finding answers. After living in confusion and chaos for years, answers are a homecoming for our weary souls and roots for our new identity. In this episode, Natalie fields three listener questions from women just like you, including: How do I deal with emotional triggers? How do I find safe people? What can I use to teach my church how to help victims of abuse? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Listen to learn: How and why we get triggered and several options for calming ourselvesHow our beliefs inform our ability to set healthy boundaries with safe (and dangerous) peopleThe reality of abuse in the church: it's a heart problem, not a knowledge problemHow the Flying Free Sisterhood and Flying Higher group can help!If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jan 13, 202124 min

Ep 100Wisdom for Survivors: The Best of the Flying Free Podcast [100]

The Flying Free Podcast began in January, 2018 with the hope of educating and encouraging women of faith in destructive marriage relationships. Two years and one hundred episodes later we have thousands of listeners from all over the world, and the voices and hearts of Christian women are rising to their God-given place of human dignity and honor. This is a work of love birthed from a place of heartache and shame. Something only a loving, compassionate, and powerfully redeeming God could do. In this special 100th episode, you'll get some of the best quotes from the Flying Free Podcast so far. Links to the full episodes are included in a special 100th edition transcript on our website.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Jan 6, 20211h 13m

Ep 99How Do You Deal with the Pain of Being Rejected by Your Family? [99]

These are the questions that gnaw at your bones, that leave your soul hungry, and keep you up at night. Questions asked from the fire, the long road, the dark, and the doubt. Questions like: How do you deal with the pain of being rejected by your family? You're in good company. I understand; I can relate; and there are answers and a way forward, even in the middle of your deepest pain. "The fact is, if we are letting other people’s ideas and beliefs dictate our own happiness and our own emotions, that is going to create terrible results in our life. We’re basically giving over all the power for our future, the things we do, our emotions, and how we show up in the world to other people. We might as well go back and live in an abusive relationship."In this episode, I give answers to:What to do with ruminating thoughts of justice/revenge for our abusers and fear/loneliness in ourselves. The POWER we have to make our lives amazing, how to do it, and why that's the best punishment for abusers anyways.How a strong relationship with ourselves is key to healing, thriving, and deep peace (and how to begin developing that relationship).Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Dec 30, 202031 min

Ep 98How Do I Support My Adult Children Who Grew Up in a Spiritually and Emotionally Abusive Home? [98]

I get so many questions from women in the Flying Free and Flying Higher programs related to parenting older, adult children who grew up in toxic homes. One of the most common? How do I support my aduilt children who grew up in an spiritually and emotionally abusive home? These relationships can be painful, tricky, and even traumatic because often the adult kids blame their mom either for getting out — or for not getting out soon enough. And that's just one of the complicated issues surrounding these relationships. So how can we approach our adult children in a way that shows them love and honor while maintaining our own self-respect? In this episode Becky and I discuss:What some of the problems are in these relationshipsWhy these problems existWhat we CAN do in our relationships with our adult childrenWhat we CAN'T do for our adult childrenHow we can manage our own minds through it allAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Dec 23, 202034 min

Ep 97How Writing Your Story Will Help You Heal From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse [97]

We all want to be part of a story. One of bravery, overcoming the odds, healing, beauty, and a greater purpose. In the overwhelm of trauma, all of these things seem out of reach, stolen from us, lost in the wasteland of our pain. But reclaiming our lives through words is one of the most powerful and effective ways to heal, and it's available to anyone! Learn how writing your story will help you heal from emotional and spiritual abuse. This podcast is chock-full of insight, including:how a writing class saved Stacy's life and drove her to teach others about writingWHAT writing can help you heal from, and HOW strategies/steps to begin writing for yourselfwhy your story (and YOU) matter deeply, no matter what you've gone throughAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Stacey’s YouTube videosStacey’s Lifestyle Laboratory CourseFREE: The Life Storytelling Toolkit allows you to create a resilience and joy that defies the boundaries of your experience. It is an easy formula to embrace, enable, enhance, and elevate your story. In other words, letting your past tough life experiences make your future self wiser and more resilient.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comStacy Brookman is a Resilience and Life Storytelling Expert. She produces the Real Life Resilience podcast and the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit. She helps smart, outwardly confident women who secretly have low self-esteem issues due to an emotionally abusive partner take back control and begin to develop the resilience they need to be themselves again. She does that by helping them write their tough life stories. Women leverage her to unleash their stories so they can command their personal power and emerge resilient and joyful. She helps them gain clarity from their life lessons, lean on their hard-won wisdom and have power to feel confident in themselves again. She believes that life is a story…and it’s never too late to start telling yours.

Dec 16, 202027 min

Ep 96You Are Not Responsible for Your Husband's Behavior [96]

Sara was trapped in an abusive marriage. Her pain was only exceeded by the overwhelming confusion. After exhausting every avenue of help and hope, she reached a conclusion critical to every survivor's freedom and recovery: You are not responsible for your husband's behavior. Over the last three years she's been working to heal and rebuild her life, eventually starting her own business as a copywriter and editor. Now her joy is only exceeded by her gratitude.Highlights from this Episode:why survivors often (and need to) find joy and laughter in the every dayhow losing so much to get out of an abusive relationship is actually a blessingsome of the common survival mechanisms that she's laid aside so she can fully thriveevidence that divorce isn't the end—it's a chance to remake your life, live in power and authenticity, and become who you were made to bethe vital role the Flying Free and Flying Higher groups have played in her healing/growth (and can in yours too!)Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Dec 9, 202039 min