Flying Free

My life had become a war zone. If there were red flags beforehand, I didn’t see them. I thought I was part of a fairy tale, a beautiful romance, a love story for the ages. My husband changed after we got married. I followed the script, I made all the effort, I took all the blame and responsibility. Nothing ever helped and nothing ever changed. Until I realized I could save myself. This is Barb’s story.Barb Spanier was married for 24 years and now helps others living in the same kind of hell she escaped. Her coaching practice, Integrative Coaching for Life, helps women live authentic, courageous lives no matter the struggles or circumstances they’re experiencing. She also works with Natalie to provide coaching in the Flying Higher program.Some great nuggets from today’s episode:4 key pieces of advice for anyone wanting/trying to get out of an abusive marriageWhat a script is and how it can influence your decisions (for better or worse)Some incredible resources for healing and freedomAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Parenting small children is hard. Parenting small children in an emotionally destructive home is brutal. You’re in survival mode, living in a waking nightmare. You’re confused, in pain, and don’t know how to help yourself, much less your kids. You need clarity and guidance. This podcasts gives both.Natalie covers:the lies women/children believe because of abusethe dynamics created by an abusive father/husbandnew beliefs that bring freedom and the beginning of healingresources to move from surviving to thrivingRelated Resources:Resources to Help Kids Learn Emotional ResiliencyRaising Kids with an Emotionally Abusive ParentHow to Trust God with Your KidsAccess the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Lipstick on a pig: when you take something stinky, gross, even harmful, and try to repackage it as beautiful, desirable, and helpful. That’s complementarianism — the religious belief that women were created to be ruled over, to fulfill only certain roles, and made inherently less than the men, who have a god-given right to be their mini-lords. Gender roles contribute to emotional abuse in the home and church. The underlying belief system is anything but biblical. It’s ugly, and the root of incalculable harm in many women’s lives. Lipstick on a pig…and we’re calling it out.In this episode we talk about:The origins of our modern day church perspective on gender rolesHow egalitarianism is NOT a rejection of the Christian faith or gender differencesHow that perspective contributes to emotional and spiritual abuse in churches/Christian homesWhat you can do about itThis episode stems as an answer to a listener question:“I am confused about the difference between egalitarian vs complementarian theories. I have always believed that God created men and women differently and that we have different roles we should play in marriage and the church, but I believe that the power over structure that I have always believed in greatly contributed to the emotional abuse I suffered in both my marriages.”Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

You spend every conversation talking in circles, being told why you're always at fault, apologizing for anything he did wrong, and feeling like a piece of human trash. The chance that you're experiencing gaslighting is 100%. It's a favorite tactic among abusers because it's extremely effective. This podcast is a one-two punch of knowledge and empowerment, exactly what women stuck in the mire of gaslighting need. This podcast covers: An explanation of gaslightingSome classic examplesThe reason gaslighting works on youThe number one impact on victimsWhat a flying monkey isHow to build your strength, regain your sanity, and start healingA simple and easy approach for handling gaslighting, that works!Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Connect with Amy on FacebookGrab a free downloadable PDF of Amy's report: Gaslighting 101, by hopping on her mailing list HERE. She will send you that report as well as articles and other helpful tools for your healing journeyIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comAmy Marlow-MaCoy is a licensed professional counselor located in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. Amy specializes in treating adults from narcissistic, emotionally immature, or toxic relationships. Amy is the author of The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook, a book designed to help readers identify gaslighting in relationships, protect themselves from further abuse, and begin to heal. In sessions and in writing, Amy uses warmth, compassion, and a geeky sense of humor to support her clients in healing.

What if your desire to avoid hurting anyone is actually the reason you ARE hurting them? What if you're actually hurting YOURSELF by living out this desire too?Boundaries don't hurt others, despite the loud voices that tell you otherwise. Healthy boundaries aren't meant to control other people, ensure they think well of you, or make you into a prickly cactus no one can approach. They're a way of living your truest self and your highest calling, while honoring the personhood of everyone around you.Listen to learn more about:The lie that keeps many women in bondage to poor boundaries.Possible responses to setting boundaries, and how to reframe your thinking about them.The truth that can set you free to live with healthy boundaries and without the guilt!How healthy boundaries reflect the heart of Jesus and the way he lived on Earth.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

In our interview with Patrick Doyle, find out:How do you know you’re dealing with someone who isn’t safe?What is the number one goal of an unsafe church and an unsafe person?What are the two rules for knowing if someone is safe or not?What is the number one way to protect yourself from an abusive relationship?Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Connect with Patrick on Facebook.Sign up to receive email updates about upcoming events and materials from Patrick.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comPatrick Doyle has over thirty years of working with people from all over in treatment centers, churches, and through his office. His authentic and transparent way of leadership has drawn followers from all over the world. As a public speaker and coach, Patrick takes difficult conversations head on; communicating hard truths with honesty and safety. He is passionate about connecting with people so that they may see their individual value and as a result, experience the freedom from the lies that destroy their wellness of spirit. His hope is that people will partner with him in helping others see, believe, and act on their intrinsic value.Patrick lives in beautiful Southern Oregon. On his down time, he enjoys spending time with his two adult sons, reading a good book, or experiencing a new adventure with people he is close with.

How do you respond when your partner sends you two totally different messages? One message says he loves you and will do anything to make things right. The other message says you're making a big deal out of nothing, and you're actually the problem. Which message is true? In this episode, Daphne, Natalie, and Rachel talk about:What your partner is really communicating and how you can know for sure. How religious teachings like "your heart is desperately wicked, and who can know it?" and "assume the best" perpetuate domestic abuse.Where conviction really comes from.A simple way to reframe your experience so you can get unhooked from the lies.How authentic love doesn't bind people but rather sets them free.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

In this episode we interview financial planner, Leah Hadley. Find out:The importance of having a financial advisor trained in divorce settlements/planning.Why not knowing anything about finances or your marital financials DOESN'T mean you can't get a fair shake!Resources/strategies to prepare yourself for divorce (or even if you're already in the middle of one).Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Connect with Leah on FacebookDivorce Bundle: Her Most Popular Resources for Clarity and Organization During DivorceWhen It’s Just Not Working: A Practical Divorce Guide for Stay-At-Home MomsFREE Divorce Recovery GuideIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comLeah Hadley will tell you she’s had a lot of challenging financial times in her adult life-becoming a parent of three overnight, getting divorced, and losing her job, to name a few- times when careful financial planning was critical to her peace of mind. Now a best-selling author, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Master Analyst in Financial Forensics (MAFF), and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC), Leah Hadley is the founder of Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions and Great Lakes Investment Management. She is committed to strengthening families through financial wellness.

You've been telling him for years how hurtful his behavior is. Literally begging him to stop. It's like beating your head against a wall. You've reached your breaking point. Then he tosses out a question your heart longed to hear from the beginning:"What can I do to fix this?"Right at the end. Right before your feet hit the pavement. Right before you've given up.What now?Learn about 3 critical aspects of this scenario:What this question actually means.Why he never asked it before.Ways to respond that won't lead you right back onto the hamster wheel of death.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

When Lynn, a widow and registered nurse, met her abuser for the first time, she thought he was a safe bet. Who could be safer than a pastor and former missionary? But once he had her hooked in, he tore down her dignity and identity through shaming and neglect. Lynn shares her long journey of waking up to the shaking reality that even religious leaders can be wolves in sheep's clothing. Find out what abusive spiritual leaders do when they counsel other abusers.Learn about some of the more subtle kinds of domestic abuse. Discover the key all survivors need to have to unlock the door of their prison. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

You're the problem. An angry woman, a discontent wife, a troublemaker, the ungodly one. You've heard this over and over, in your mind, at church, and from your husband. Why can't you get it together? Where do all the rage, frustration, and ugliness come from? What if the question is the answer? Abusers don't ask if they are abusive. Natalie, Daphne, and Rachel discuss the common reactions women have in destructive marriages that bring shame and confusion along with: The need to see that our abusers try to force a reaction by exploiting their intimate knowledge of us.How/why it is so common for counselors, pastors, family, and friends to slap the label of "abuser" on a victim (and why you don't have to care).The key to freedom from this horrible merry-go-round: CHOICE! Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

What if I lose my kids? How can I stand up for myself in the process of divorce when my husband seems to hold all the cards? How will I keep it together as I climb this ladder out of hell? These questions haunt women in abusive marriages who want to escape.There is hope and there are answers.In this episode, Wendy Hernandez, a Phoenix family law attorney, divorce coach, founder of the Hernandez Family Law Firm, and creator of the Command the Courtroom YouTube channel and online programs, covers several critical topics for divorcing women, including:Why the fear of losing your kids is based on lies/misconceptionsThe kind of documentation and questions you should have, before or while you are using a lawyer (including how to find a good one or deal with a bad one).How EMPOWERING divorce can be as you set boundaries for a NEW life...of HOPE!Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Command the Courtroom YouTube ChannelFREE Best Interests ChecklistTwenty-One Day ChallengePower In the Truth Affirmation DeckIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comHaving tried over 1,000 cases during her 24 years as a litigator, Wendy is a courtroom warrior who has tackled every type of family law matter — from divorce to child custody and everything in between. Sharing secrets learned from the country’s top law professors at the University of Notre Dame Law School and during her battles on the family law front lines, Wendy is passionate about helping not only her clients, but also those representing themselves, to feel competent, confident and comfortable in the courtroom.

Trust is risk. Trust forces us to decide what we believe, make choices based on those beliefs, and respect what others choose to believe and do. We aren't called to control others, please everybody, or even defend our decisions. But we are called to live bravely using the knowledge, experience, and power we have. Trusting God doesn't mean we all make the same choices. We are only responsible for our choices.Allowing others to be who they are/make their own choices is trusting God and allows us to live in freedom. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Have you ever been told to let the past be the past (even though the past is your present and your present is a prison disguised as a marriage)?Robin walked on eggshells and hid herself away to survive. After years in an abusive marriage, she believed God didn’t love her and that he hated divorce more than anything. She was taught that her body wasn’t her own, and her job was to make her husband happy at all costs. But no matter how small she became, it was never enough. No matter how hard she tried, he was never happy. When she dared to bring up her concerns or ask her husband to stop harming her and the kids, he blamed her, and the cycle began again. Robins talks about:How Flying Free has helped (and can help you too)Red flags from her marriage (great for those hoping to avoid toxic relationships in the future)How the church made things worse (and why she eventually went against all she’d been taught)Since gaining freedom from her husband, Robin no longer lives in fear in her own home. She is sure of God’s love and knows that what he really hates is abuse. There is also, finally, distance between the past and her present.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Forgiveness is one of the ultimate Christian virtues, right after love. It “sets the prisoners free.” Except in your life. It keeps you defenseless and bound to people who are determined to keep harming you. Forgiveness seems like a superhighway to destruction, the restart button for more craziness and pain. So, should you keep forgiving someone who keeps hurting you…and how?Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Natalie interviews Anne Resler about the connection between spiritual and emotional abuse and how they work together to control and neutralize the voices of Christian women. Anne's work as an author and counselor illuminates the brainwashing of many Christian women as well as how God and the Bible have been weaponized against them. Her conversations with survivors allow her to identify behavior patterns that enable abuse to continue as well as effective tools for healing and freedom.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Find Anne on Facebook and Twitter.To purchase the bible study she mentions, Rising From the Ruins: Restoring the Broken Places, and find more information about the its purpose and process, visit Anne’s website.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comAnne is a private practice Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) in Northwest Arkansas. She is also an author and communicator. Birthed out of her heart for healing and restoration, Anne wrote “Rising from the Ruins: Restoring the Broken Places,” a study on the book of Nehemiah. Her second study, “Chosen,” is currently in process. It is a journey of healing for women from trauma and pain through the lens of the five women in the lineage of Christ. The bible study framework allows for a counseling-type process. The study deals with the significant issues these women faced (and we face), including various forms of abuse.Anne has been married to Jeff for 24 years. They have two children, Abby and Grant. She loves the outdoors and spending time at the lake with family and friends. She likes to laugh and loves goofing off!

We are extremely powerful in this world. We don’t even know the power of a woman because our world has used so many tools to crush us into the ground. That’s why our personal work is so critical to our world. We may not see the full impact of the work that we do on our personal lives, but I guarantee that it's not going to be for nothing. You can be an example of what's possible for your children and grandchildren and all those who come in contact with you. Your example is going to reverberate into eternity. I think this is the start of something. God is doing something powerful in the world right now that we get to be part of. But we are pioneers. This is the beginning of a turning point, and we are exploring new territory and are taking old territory back. So this is pretty important. This episode mentions a brand new program for divorced women of faith. Flying Higher is now available! You can apply to join the program HERE.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

While Julie experienced more overt abuse during her formative years, she ended up married to a quiet, covert abuser with a hidden lifestyle. "The hidden abuse made far more lasting marks on my soul than the overt abuse I experienced as a child ever did." Find out what helped her decide to pay the price for freedom. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Emotional abuse victims are often labeled as codependent because they stay in their destructive relationship for so long. If you think you're codependent because you're choosing to stay with an emotionally abusive partner, we'd like to offer the suggestion that some victims may just be playing tennis with the wrong player for some really good reasons, and they aren't codependent at all.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Author, speaker, and counselor, Bob Hamp, dives deep into the ways religion kills people. This is a fascinating interview about good, evil, and the connection that sets us free from both. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Bob Hamp is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author of several books, speaker, and director of Think Differently Counseling, Coaching, and Connecting.He and his wife Polly run the TDAcademy, and you can follow his work on Facebook HERE.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

In this episode I talk about the challenge abuse survivors face when they begin to tell others what has happened to them. This is where they discover the truth that many of the relationships that they had were actually built on the shaky premise that they had to capitulate to the opinions and desires of everyone around them in order to be loved and accepted by other people. They realize that it wasn’t just their partner who defined them in a certain way. It was a lot of the people in their life. What happens is that a survivor sees herself mirrored in the eyes of other people. What she sees is a distortion of who she is because other people don’t really know who she is all the time. They have their own ideas, but they don’t necessarily know who we are, especially if they are abusive themselves. What abusive people usually do is project their own shortcomings onto other people – mostly onto their intimate partner or children. If they have weaknesses deep down in their own life they are ashamed about, in order to feel better about themselves they will project those exact weaknesses onto their target. Then if she is highly sensitive, she will take on the shame of their abuser. She will take it on herself and begin to see herself that way even though that is not who she really is in her core.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Kathryn loved God and tried everything she could to be a good Christian wife. But no matter what she did, her husband made sure she believed she was the poison in the relationship. Here is an excerpt: "For me, I was constantly begging, “Give me the grace. Make me better. Help me to be pleasing to my husband. Help me to be a light to my family, to be something that brings life.” You kind of feel like…The way he made me feel was that I was the poison in our family and that I was poisoning everything instead of breathing life into it. It’s hard because you are begging and crying out for years and years, and there is just nothing. I thought, “Well, maybe God has turned His face from me.” I even went as far as to think, “Well, maybe I’m not a Christian. Maybe God didn’t love me all these years.” Find out how she got free from what was poisoning HER!Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Rachel, Becky, and Natalie answer two listener questions: 1. “After successfully escaping abuse, how do you determine that the respect or positive treatment that you receive from any new relationships are not just another wave of wolves in sheep’s clothing, waiting for their opportunity to show their teeth? It doesn’t feel fair or trusting to look at every person that comes through your new life now that you are healing as just another predator waiting to jump on you. Do you ever learn to completely trust again? When someone offers to help you with a task, is it possible to realize they are just genuinely wanting to help and not actually taking inventory of how many times they’ve offered help and now you owe them help in return? Going through life presuming that the world is always out to get you is exhausting and feels fearful and sad.” 2. “I saw my husband’s relatives whom I thought were strong Christians turn a blind eye to the abuse. Do they have the Holy Spirit in them? Are they ignoring His voice? How can I have heard so strongly from the Holy Spirit to get out, and yet these Christians are telling me I need to stay? Are they evil or just naively in denial? How do I reconcile this hurt?”Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

What does it take to get free of a destructive relationship? Here are five new ways for Christian wives to think about their destructive marriage as well as all the other relationships they have that are unhealthy. I want to help you rewire your brain and transform the way you think about your relationships and yourself. They may even help you get free!Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

It seems like a simple question with a simple answer. But I think a lot of Christian women are confused about this. Many of us have been taught from childhood that it's rebellious for Christian women to say no. When religious people called Jesus the son of the devil, he didn’t suddenly have the thought “What if I AM the son of the devil?” Or “Why do they think that of me after all I’ve done for them?” Or “Who do they think they are?” Or “What did I do to make them say such horrible things?”It didn’t make him feel guilty or angry or out of control. He felt unconditional love - because he knew who he was. That doesn’t mean he hung out with them. He respected their lack of love for him and let them go their own way. He didn’t chase after them or fawn after them or try to get them to believe him. He just lived a consistent life of love and belief in Who He was - and what His mission was. That’s it.What if we could live that way? Imagine being able to say “No” - and having the other person call you a name or whisper behind your back and accuse you of being selfish, and all you feel is unconditional love and understanding for their anxiety and petulance? But you felt zero guilt or shame?I think that’s something we can strive for. Here's how.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Julie homeschooled seven children in a 900 square foot home with a man who pretended like she didn't exist. . Even though the Bible was used against her over and over again, she clung to her faith in God, and she eventually got out. Here's her advice to others like her: "If you are a woman of faith, know in your heart that God is going to take care of you. If you are in an abusive marriage or relationship, He does not want you there. He will take care of you. Trust yourself. I stopped trusting myself so long ago. I couldn’t even trust myself to decide what conference to go to because I had to make sure it was okay with him. I would say you know what you must do and just trust that God is going to take care of you. I think that’s the hardest thing for us to do – to just step out and know in our hearts, we mouth it, we say it, but to know in our hearts that He is going to take care of us. And He will."Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

In today's episode, Natalie, Rachel, and Becky tackle a common issue many survivors have when they begin to set boundaries. You'll also learn why taking all the responsibility in a relationship is never a win-win for anyone and what you can do instead!Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

"The fundamental bottom line of narcissism is that you are not a real person. You are only some other person or force that affects my life. As long as you affect my life, then I have to deal with you; but I don’t have to treat you as a real person because a narcissist literally does not see others as a real person – neither does the legalist: the legalist pastor, the legalist parent, the legalist church members. People say they don’t understand the church. How can you be friends (and we’ve all heard this) such deep, wonderful friendships for years, and you cross them one time, you do something where they think differently than you do, and all of a sudden you are a pariah. You are pushed away, they talk about you behind your back, and they are cruel. What kind of a friendship is that? That’s a friendship that is self-serving. That’s a friendship that didn’t value you as a person, it valued you as someone useful in their lives. I’m not sure that makes me feel any better, but it answers the question and again is a connection between legalism and narcissism."Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out Dave's books: Practical Grace, Milestones of Grace, Narcissism in the Church, and Walk with MeIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comDave Orrison is an author and long-time pastor (42 years) who lives and works in Colorado happily enjoying life with his wife and eight sons.

Natalie interviews Pastor Dave Orrison, author of Narcissism in the Church, about how legalism breeds narcissism and vice versa. If you've been part of a religious organization that powers over and lays heavy burdens on its constituents, then you've experienced this pathological combination and the spiritual and emotional trauma it causes.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out Dave's books: Practical Grace, Milestones of Grace, Narcissism in the Church, and Walk with MeIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comDave Orrison is an author and long-time pastor (42 years) who lives and works in Colorado happily enjoying life with his wife and eight sons.

What does the Bible mean when it tells Christian wives to “submit” to their husbands? Was this kind of submission only for that culture? Is this a free ticket for men to take power over their wives? Should a Christian wife submit to an abusive husband? What is submission, anyway?Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

In spite of numerous red flags, Kary married her abusive partner when she was very young. After 29 years, she was able to save some money and get out. Now she shares some insight into what made her stay for so long and what she would do differently if she had a do-over. I asked Kary if she could go back and tell her younger self one thing, what would she say? This is what Kary said: "Stop second guessing yourself. Trust your instincts and your gut. If you are uncomfortable, that is God speaking and directing your life. Listen to your own heart. You matter. Your thoughts matter, and you are valuable and dearly loved just as you are. You don’t need a man or anyone else to validate your worth. You need to love yourself first and foremost before you can love anyone else. Any man or woman who tries to control you or makes you feel less than is not a safe person. Healthy people build you up; they don’t tear you down. God never asked you to carry these burdens because He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light; so if you are feeling burdened and heavy and weighted down, stop and ask yourself why. Then lay down that burden at the foot of the cross and walk away free. God is not a slave master. He said it is for freedom that He has set us free, so don’t let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Marriage is not slavery. It is meant to be a beautiful reflection of Christ and His great love for us. If it is not, and you are being enslaved and abused, you are free to go. God loves you more than He hates divorce, and He wants you to live an abundant life and not a life surviving abuse."Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Emotional abuse tactics leave a target feeling confused and powerless. Learn some strategies to help you recognize the tactics when they happen as well as respond from a place of clarity and power.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Natalie interviews Gretchen Baskerville, author of the newly released book, The Life Saving Divorce, on the issues Christian women face when contemplating a divorce. Find out why most divorces are actually life-saving.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Connect with Gretchen on her website, Life-Saving Divorce. Check out Gretchen's book, The Life Saving Divorce.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comGretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. Since 1998, she has worked in churches in the Los Angeles area helping heartbroken people find strength, courage, and healing. For more than 20 years she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addicted partners, and emotional abuse. Herself the survivor of a toxic marriage, she walked through her own lifesaving divorce and was a single mother for many years. Today she is happily remarried. She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.

Learn the seven predictable things that happen when you set boundaries with an emotionally abusive partner. Knowing what to expect in advance will empower you to respond with emotional control and self-respect.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

After Lisa lost her husband of 23 years to death, she ended up marrying a man who abused her in every way possible. In spite of opposition from her church home, she got out of her abusive marriage and started Riverledge Farm in Vermont, a gorgeous place where she hosts wedding parties and healing retreats for survivors.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

This week Natalie, Becky, and Rachel answer two listener questions.I’m thinking about separating from my husband. How do I explain what’s going on to those on the outside? I’m afraid of their reactions.I was told I am “tearing down my house” when I stand up against my abusive husband and set boundaries. Is this true?Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

For people with trauma, the suffering doesn't end with the traumatic event. In this episode, Polly Hamp of Think Differently Counseling, Consulting, and Coaching, shares her inspiring journey of healing after trauma, including the moment she told God "hell no," but of course He won anyway. Discover new resources for overcoming your own trauma and why healing can't happen on a timetable.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Healing your faith after abuse is a long and painful process, but it's vital for true healing. Join Natalie for a lesson walking through steps that help you heal your relationship with God. Uncover the two errors that survivors often make during healing, and discover the prize for wrestling the truth from the lies you once believed.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Debby tried appeasing her abusive husband for decades, but nothing ever changed. It wasn't until she realized her health was deteriorating that she knew it was up to her to change something. Listen in to Debby's story of survival, how she got in and out of the abuse, and what happened when she went to counselors (with a twist!) Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Learn how to talk to your children about divorce, and discover the four steps to rebuilding your life after leaving an abusive marriage. Discover one factor that is vital for healing after experiencing trauma. In this episode, Natalie interviews "Life Saving Divorce" author Gretchen Baskerville about how to cope and find healing after a life saving divorce.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Connect with Gretchen on her website, Life-Saving Divorce. Check out Gretchen's book, The Life Saving Divorce.If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comGretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. Since 1998, she has worked in churches in the Los Angeles area helping heartbroken people find strength, courage, and healing. For more than 20 years she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addicted partners, and emotional abuse. Herself the survivor of a toxic marriage, she walked through her own lifesaving divorce and was a single mother for many years. Today she is happily remarried. She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.

Licensed clinical social worker and abuse survivor Megan Parocha shares about how to help your kids overcome trauma from abuse, divorce, and other difficult life circumstances. Hear the best way to respond when your ex-husband lies about you. Learn the parenting strategy that will help your children build up their inner world and break the generational cycle of narcissism.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Check out Give Her Wings and the Give Her Wings Academy If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.comMegan Parocha earned a MSW (Master’s in clinical social work) with certificates in trauma-focused CBT, understanding addiction, school social work and mediation. Megan wrote most of her graduate level papers on the dynamics of abuse and received an award in social justice in graduate school for her protection order case changing Colorado State law to protect survivors. Megan is also on the Board of Directors for Give Her Wings, a non-profit which provides financial scholarships to women and children who have left an abuser. Megan volunteers in policy meetings with Violence Free Colorado to continue working on changing state law to protect survivors of IPV. Megan recently started her own non-profit called Survivor’s United Network which aims to provide free, community-based peer support group meetings for survivors of domestic violence. Megan is a proud mother of a wonderful and brave daughter and enjoys distance running and playing with her dog.

Jesus wants you to reclaim your SELF. And do you know how He helps you do that? By helping you understand the skills you already have within yourself - that HE PUT THERE - to rescue yourself. He didn’t create you to be a helpless princess in need of rescue. He created you to be Captain Marvel. In this podcast episode, Natalie will tell you about a tool with the potential to change the course of your life.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

In today’s podcast episode, Natalie shares own story of how she got into an abusive marriage, why she stayed, and how she got out.Natalie kept journals throughout the course of her marriage, and in this episode she shares an inside look into her heart and belief system while she navigated the relentlessly painful circumstances of her emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Join Natalie and Becky as they answer questions from followers of the Flying Free Facebook page, including:QUESTION ONE: Since a lot of abuse involves financial abuse, lots of us are short of cash. What are some good low-cost ways a survivor can move forward in the healing process? For example, they don’t have money for counselors, therapists, or even the Flying Free group.QUESTION TWO: When I went to my church for help in my emotionally abusive abandoned marriage, my pastor said that there are always two sides to every story, that he couldn’t choose sides, that we are all sinners, and that it is against the Bible for a woman to separate from her husband. He basically said that unless I had marks on my body to prove abuse there is no way for him to know how best to advise me. How would you, in the moment of conversation, have responded? How should I have responded?Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Join Natalie and Rachel as they answer two listener questions:Question One: My husband is an alcoholic and has a lot of anger toward the church and my religious beliefs. There’s also a lot of emotional abuse in our home. We have three toddlers, and I have been a stay-at-home mom. I find it hard in our marriage to raise three kids in a Christian way when my husband has a lot of anger towards my beliefs as well as the alcoholism and the emotional abuse. I guess my question is how long do I keep hoping that he will change? We’ve been separated for quite a few months now, and I just don’t know how to cope with all of that – the spiritual, the emotional, and the alcoholism on top of that – and then his extreme hatred towards my faith. I’m just at a loss of words for how to deal with this. I feel like the alcoholism is just the tipping point for me. Any advice would be great.Question Two: My ex is dating a Flying Free lady. He was verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive during our almost 23 years of marriage, and he is still emotionally abusive to my kids. Thankfully, they are old enough to recognize the behavior. My situation is a little different from most women in these situations as everyone surprisingly took my side during the divorce. Even his own family took my side – my in-laws and my sister-in-law, who I’m very close to – are still very connected with me and my kids. I saw on Facebook that this woman and I have some Flying Free friends in common and she likes the Flying Free page, which probably means she came from an abusive situation. I’ve struggled with whether or not to reach out to her because I know he can be very charming, and I’m not sure if she would believe me. At this point, my ex leaves me alone and I don’t want him coming after me and the kids if he thinks I said anything to her. I’m not sure what to do. I would hate for another Flying Free lady to have to live what I’ve lived through for the past 22 years. Looking for advice on how to handle this situation.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

When our faith is enmeshed with abuse, it's confusing to tell the two apart. That damages our connection with God. How can we untangle the lies of abuse from the truth of God?We have to do spiritual surgery on ourselves in order to remove the shrapnel of abuse from our hearts of faith--to separate the two so our hearts can beat again in a healthy, strong way in harmony with our Savior.Join Natalie for a lesson that will help untangle you from lies and renew your trust in Jesus, a God who doesn't abuse people.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Starting with abuse and abandonment in her childhood, Becky was married decades to a man who put it all on her--working, homeschooling five kids, and supporting his selfishness. In waking up, she finally realized the problem wasn't her after all, but that was only the first step in getting out. Listen to Becky's incredible story of crawling to flying.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Join Natalie, Rachel, Becky, and Kim as they answer two listener questions. One - what if I don't want to stay even if my husband seems to be changing a little? Two - how can I continue to homeschool if I end up separated or divorced?Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Join several survivors as they get practical about how to go into the new year with hope.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

One of the first lessons I learned when I first began to get out of my abusive marriage is how to advocate for myself—a hard lesson for a woman who spent her entire life believing that self-advocacy was evil. I now see that when God doesn't rescue you from your bad marriage, it's because He wants to do something so much better in your life. He wants you to get strong enough to rescue yourself.I believe this kind of self-advocacy is a necessary adulting skill that we all need to acquire as part of the growing up process—for our own sake and also for the sake of our children after us. We can’t pass that skill on if we aren’t able to model it ourselves.We want our children to grow up taking responsibility for themselves, making decisions without fear, and moving forward with hope and purpose in spite of the obstacles and challenges they will face. They can’t do that (and neither can we) if they aren’t able to advocate for themselves.So what do we need to do to begin advocating for ourselves?In this episode, you'll learn how to take responsibility for yourself, make decisions without fear, and move forward with hope and purpose in spite of obstacles and challenges.Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.